Cruising, Kink and a Bath House Kiki with Dr. Lee Phillips

This week, we're CUTTING UP with Dr. Lee Phillips @drleephillips): sexologist, former psychotherapist, comedian, and professional shame-dismantler. Nothing is off the table.

We trace Dr. Lee's path from mental health and substance use treatment to sex therapy and social media, and how he's built a platform that makes talking about sex feel normal, and funny. Because if you can't laugh about it, you're probably still ashamed of it.

The conversation moves fast: moving back to NYC in 2021 and reclaiming main-character energy, '90s club kid nostalgia, and why humor disarms sexual shame better than anything else. We get into being kink-affirming and sex-work affirming, how cruising migrated from clubs to gyms, and why dating apps function like casino algorithms built to keep you swiping. From there it's ghosting, decision fatigue, the situationship epidemic, Sniffies, steam rooms, dad bod discourse, and how COVID rewired the way we date and connect.

There are bathhouse stories. There is seafood boil chaos. There is a fishbowl question game that could have gotten us canceled in 2004. And underneath the laughs, a real conversation about pleasure, connection, and why we deserve better than breadcrumbing and confusion.

Smart. Messy. Educational. Unhinged in the best way. Out now.

@drleephillips 

Write to us at Kiki@TheCuttingUp.com

And follow us on instagram:

@TheCuttingUp

@TheRealConnieGirl

@TheLinaBradford

@PrideHouseMedia

“The Cutting Up: A Kiki with Connie & Lina” is a Pride House Media production.

Producers: Josh Rosenzweig & Matthew Breen.

Graphic Design by Daryl Raymond.

Original Music by 808 BEACH (John “J-C” Carr & Bill Coleman), courtesy of Peace Bisquit. 

 Production Design by Darryl Dickens. 

Photography by Shane Reynolds.

Our very special thanks to Jason Kanner for all your support.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You're gonna get it, honey. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_03 0:03

It's time for the cutting up a Kiki with Connie and Lena.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

This is your backstage pass to all the dishfish. And that's the truth, Ruth. Come on now. Get into it. Concon.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Hi, Lena. Welcome black mama. How are you? Speaking of, we're giving the situation. Um uh le um lounging leisure. Yes, hello. I run to black and white, Ebony and I ever. Harmony. Honey, the tequila is still flowing in through me. Honey, after this weekend, honey. Oh, hon. Yeah. The clerbs. Yes. The clubs. Yeah, I don't know when this is airing, but um, I was on a destination island. I'm sure you know of it.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

I have to come out. I I I've only been once.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Once, yes, I know, I know. Well, we're gonna film out there. We'll do the show out there. Okay. Yeah, okay. And the kids were all like, it was funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Come down and see us sometime. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

And when I was doing a denimal on Thursday, um we were there before my set, and um it was with Matt, um, our uh producer and also sometimes guest. And somebody came up to us and they're like, Oh my god, you're HR from the show! I was like, Work! It's caught on y'all!

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Uh-huh. Oh my gosh. The kids are upset. They are, they are. And as you should be. I'm not mad at you. Okay. What you got going on today, Khan? Well, we have a wonderful and illustrious guest. Ooh. Uh, that will be joining us. A doctor. A Doctor! A Doctor of Sexology. Yes. Oh! Oh, Dr. Lee Phillips. Dr.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

Lee Phillips.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Yes, I'm here. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Welcome, baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

We all are all coordinated.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

This is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

We are not playing this ivory. We are. Yes, and shades and tonal shades of the body. Why do I gotta be the shades?

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Holly, hello. I'm going to sleep after this episode. You are. Oh, that's Kayla. You look beautiful, honey, and it's a pleasure to finally have you here.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Oh, it's so good to be with you.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

When I got turned on by you, I was like, this bitch. Like, seriously, like you fucking let me have it. I mean, listen, it's great insight, kind of like our show, but it's also a kiki because life shouldn't be that serious.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

And if you're also taking it too seriously, some of the things that we're saying, sweetheart, you need to find wiggle room within yourself, honey. Because I love the way you bring a bitch to correct, honey.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Yes, yes. Disarm people. Absolutely. Yes. We have to laugh more. We do. That's the thing. We do. Educate and laugh. Educate and laugh. That's what my comedy is. That's what my work is.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

And I live. So Lee, oh, first of all, before we get into how you did how you got into your biz, we share something similar, a lot of things, but my middle name is Lee. Ooh. Yes. Yes. My grandmother, or wait, uh, my great-grandfather and my grandmother had the middle name and the high name.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

My middle name is Lee.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

It is. Yes. Well, that's right, duh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, my first name.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

So do people what who do what do how do people usually address you?

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Dr. Lee.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Dr. Lee, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I love that. I love that. Okay, so. How did I get into this? How did you get into this? Not the elf it. Ah! How did I get into this? I slipped right in.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Yes. Chris got a little bit. No, I was always a I was always a psychotherapist, um, working in mental health, actually. Wow. Working in mental health, working in hospitals, working in private practice, community mental health. Right. The first part of my career was all working in like substance use treatment. Really? Yeah. And I got burned out.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Hello. Because you were empaths, honey. Yeah, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yeah, I was a very empathetic therapist, uh sex positive therapist. Yes. And when I moved to DC after I finished my doctorate, I was like, I want to do something fun with my career. And so I decided to go into sex therapy, which is everything. Never boring. Never, never. And so many people need help. And you can take that home.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

You can take a patient home. Well for in debt.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

I'm not a sex therapy. But I played one on TV. I couldn't. But no, and then after I started doing that, I opened my own practice and I wanted to move back to New York. Because I used to live in New York when I was 18 as a little actor, going to Marymount Manhattan College.

SPEAKER_03 4:20

Stop it. You better just do it.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

And working at the tunnel. Yeah. Okay. What years? 1997 and 98. Yeah. Curfew. I was at curve.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Oh, you are curfew. We were doing um uh bump. I was at curfew. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, bump. And then we moved up. Yeah. Oh my, okay, bitch. Yeah, curfew was off into the uh the other side. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Yes, in a little cosmic cavern. Exactly. Yeah. We were in the Kenny Sharp room. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So much fun. Yeah. Stop this. Yes, I was a dancer and an actor when I first came here. A dancer and an actor, too. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Ruby Tutti at the club, honey. That's how you came up, honey. You got your teeth sunken up in there, honey. I sure did. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

And I loved every minute of it. I loved it. Uh gosh, New York City in the 90s was so fun.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

The energy and the sort of uh heartbeat.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Yes. It was a lot of fun. The heartbeat of the city. And the relationships you made with people was everything. Yeah. It was the grit, the realness, and the people that you would meet each week, you know, each week. It was everything.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Just so much fun. Going home on the subway back to Brooklyn with my eyes this big and just being back on the train in the morning with my sunglasses. You were very aware, huh?

SPEAKER_03 5:31

I was aware.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

I was aware. What was going on?

SPEAKER_03 5:34

And then also add it to your, you know, your artistry and your work, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

And so when I left New York, I always told myself, I will be back one day. I don't know what I will be back as, but I'm glad I left when I did because it was a crazy time. I was like three people in a one bedroom in Brooklyn. I was cast in a film in Jersey. It fell through. My daddy and stepdaddy were there six hours to pick me up, both of them in a car. That's amazing. Came up to get me. That's amazing. Were they a couple dads? No, they were just friends. My mom.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Oh, okay. Because then I was like, wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Stepdaddy and Dad, yeah, yeah. Stepdad got together. Yeah, yes, yes. You could do that.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

And I was like, the stepdad got with the dad.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

That's what we work, honey. You're a fierce tattoo. Two daddies. Come on, two. Two daddies.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

We can sometimes have two daddies. We can.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Honey, you may not be able to choose your father, but you can choose your daddy.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Yeah, oh, honey. I thank you for that. Daddies, if you're listening, come closer. I need to stop.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Yes. So they came and got me, and I went home and I got three degrees and I came back.

SPEAKER_03 6:43

Bitch! And that's how you come black to New York.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Came back.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

So how long have you been black? Huh? That was not a trick question, Sugar. Oh. When did you so hard to speak other language other than Lanish? When did you get back to New York?

SPEAKER_00 7:04

June 2021, right during the middle of the pandemic.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Oh, wow. Got a discount on the apartment.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

You better get it. Looked at my husband and I said, I want to go to New York. And he said, I've always wanted to live in New York and I telework. I said, and I can telework anywhere. I said, let's go. That's fierce. Came back. And you got a discount. And I got a discount on the apartment.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

That was his gift for um leaving with three roommates and coming back and getting a discount, honey.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

A discount. And a beautiful apartment. Where are you? I'm on the Upper East Side. East 66th and third. Oh wonderful. Keep raising that rent, honey. But in Don Detroit, no. They raise it.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

Wait, were you rent stabilized when you moved in?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

No. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

But it's it's a great location. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Husband got fired by Trump and he's working in real estate now.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Gorgeous. Another gift.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Another gift. Hello. Yeah. So came back up here and came back, left as an actor, came back as a sex therapist, an actor, and a comedian. So baby. And using all of your tools. Yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. So when people ask me who I am or what I do, I always say I'm an artist. So the service. You are, absolutely. And there's the therapist, writer, and actor and comedian.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

So because I love the whole mesh of it all. Like when you listen and you watch the, I mean, I I go down the deep dive, like especially for something that I'm living for. And when I I don't know how it was, of course, the cosmos saying, you need to see this bitch. And I was like, wait, what is this? But then, as soon as that happened, I get friends of mine then sending me your thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

I was like, uh, I'm on it.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

I'm on it. And I'm just like I already saw that episode. Bitch, exactly. On TikTok. You walking, yeah, yeah, yeah. You walking down the street, going in, I live. I live.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Yes, getting in fights with people. Right? Getting in these little like, you know, these little arguing matches and then shoot it up a little bit. That's right. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

But that's your New York training. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

It is. That is your new New York training. That was curfew, honey. Yeah, it was it was literally. Yes. So doing all of that now.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

And you know, it's funny. Um, Khan, do you remember um um Dr. Ruth Westheimer's sexually speaking show? Yes. Well, first of all, that building right there, this whole time I had no idea. She lived there. She's been just lost her recently. Yeah, we did. Oh my god. Dr. Ruth lived right there on the corner next to me. Wow. First of all, I used to tune into that show.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Do you have on August?

SPEAKER_03 9:20

Baby. No, you're on sexually speaking. And I would be like I called in one time.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

I love her.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

You were getting the education, weren't you, honey? I called in once and I was like, oh my God, I'm actually on. And, you know, us, you know, asking questions because, you know, about ready to get into stuff. You know what I mean? And I was like, oh my God, Dr. Ruth. Everything. So uh yeah, you're right. So many people.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

So many people have questions about sex. As they should. Because we didn't learn anything about it growing up.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

It was very paint by not.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

You don't ask about it, you don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

And and and um depending on your parents, your parents are are your parents are people. They're people, yeah. And it's yeah, and it's very difficult for them to like, you know, speak to their child.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

Yes, because of the messages that they got. So everything starts in childhood. So, you know, if you don't get those messages, if you know you don't talk about it, you grow up and you're like, well, who am I supposed to be? What do I do? Do I like this? What does pleasure mean to me?

SPEAKER_03 10:20

And why should I impress it?

SPEAKER_00 10:22

Right. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Like, yeah, I want to know about my shit because like you are literally going blind through this gig called life.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Especially when it comes time to sex. Right.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

So for me, it was Madonna. She was like my muse grown up. Like I was like taking all that in. Yeah, yeah. And like, and I was like, that's what I want to do, but do it through a therapist. Yeah. Whore. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

Love. Yeah. Live. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

But there is something about whoring and sort of um priestess whoring um therapy. But because it is so um connected. Yes, yeah, yes, yeah, in in a way.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

It is connective in a way. Yeah. You know, one of the things that I am, I tell people that I'm sex work affirming. Yes, yes. So I see sex workers, and they may not come in and talk about their sex work, but if they know they come in and they mention it, I'm affirming, right? I believe in it. I'm like, you know, you do what you have to do. They may just want a place to process trauma or other things, and sex work may not even come up. Yes. Same thing with being kink affirming, you know, I get those kinksters in therapy. The BDSM folks, you know, that would come in. So no shame in the game. No, no. And you're not taught this as studying and being a therapist. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Especially within under the rainbow collarition. You know what I mean? Yep. First of all, we're not living of the norm, period. Okay. So maybe we get to color outside the line. Yes. Like all outside the line. And there's no shaming in that. No. Learn it and find it. And I think that because we don't always have parents who embrace us with that. So we start to follow their morals and how they have you know modeled their life.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

Yeah, and I grew up in a liberal family, but they never talked about sex.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Right, right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

And they knew I was gay. They just didn't say anything about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

Well, see, my grandmother was a dominatrix, so I got a different perspective. Wow. So I got to, but the the interesting thing is that when I was younger. Your grandmother. Yeah, yeah, she was fierce. She was in the gay pride parade. She answers a lot of questions. Wait, am I being psychoanalyzed? Explained a lot. Thank you. You're welcome. However, I as I was very embraced and I understood where she was coming from, because she was also very spiritual and gave me my, you know, everiness. I didn't lean into that until later on, you know. So I was very much, you know, going on the path of mommy and not grandma. But then when I got to the island in 2005, when I was out there for 10 years, I was all my grandmother. Wow. That's amazing. You welcome boys.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Yeah. Well, I was being this like serious therapist and doing these reels and talking about infidelity recovery, which I do a lot of. But my husband was like, When are you just going to be your crazy self? Show them you. And show me who you show the world. Not just the professional side. Not just the professional side. So I said, I'm going to do this. And I and I did it. And they didn't. And baby, look at how I sent this. It's wild.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

It catapulted you to the whole place.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah, yeah. It's wild. I can't believe what's happened on social media. Get invited to do things now, just from being yourself and what you want to do in the world of sexuality and comedy and to be there, especially for the LGBTQI plus. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

It's been amazing to be able to do that. And my husband's like, you're you've even changed your like yourself now. You're not covering up being the serious therapist. Because there's a lot of people in my field who I respect. Exactly. But they're so serious. It's all the same thing, exactly. Yes. You can't take the seriousness of it. It's very sterile.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yes. Yeah. And and um your work is so deeply connective, and and the humor um allows somebody to let down their garden. Exactly. That's why I do it. But because you're enjoying and you're laughing, and and I I am not going to take myself seriously. Exactly. Because you are not taking yourself yourself and the issues seriously. I feel like comedy disarms. It lets laws down.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

And then it gives you some type of education about dating and sexual. Totally. I'm going to open marriage. So I'm out there dating too. And then I'm talking about it.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

That's fabulous. I know, I've seen and I live.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Those damn grinder nightmare.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

Hello. Oh, bitch, the bath the the the the the bathhouse scene was everything, honey. Oh, the gay bathhouse. Yes. Oh, that was terrible. But also, too. Has this like way of feeling like they have to have so much shame on themselves and bring it to it? And then to put it onto others.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Especially in a bathhouse. Really? These men are walking around, they're like, Oh, I'm not gay, but I want to be. Exactly. In a towel. Taking the ring off and putting it in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

You can't. Honey, back in the day when I was going to the saunas, when I was living in Montreal, honey, there was this one place called 456, honey. It was everything. Thank you. Obviously, before the camera phones and whatnot. You know, you paid a cover, you went there after the club, honey. And it was literally like a music video. Like it was like an erasure video. Like it was uh what was the name of the uh the those two photographers that were very animated with the uh um uh Pierre and Gilles? Pierre and Gilles. Yeah, it was very Pierre and Gilles like there was a pool down there, and it was very 80s. It was so chic. Murky, murky, very murky. And then upstairs, you'd go upstairs, and then there would like, you know, the little rooms and what if you have your little private room. I don't remember the first time I went, I would go in my friends, and everybody would do and go their own way. And I was like, I'm just gonna go into my little room and just wait. And I sat in the room or whatever, and I'd left the door ajar, or whatever. And you let him in. And I'm gonna be like, Ah! I was like, am I supposed to pose? Like, I thought it was like a peep show kind of thing, but it was so fun. Yeah, that's what I did. I went out. I thought it was like show palacing. Like you're supposed to be like, That's what I did.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

I laid down lay on the bed like I was getting a massage, and when one would poke his head, I'd be like, Nope, get out. Oh, bitch, just put it in your foot like this. Come in.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 16:13

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

I'm ready. I'll pop right up now.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

I'm like, no, no, no, no. The foot would go like this.

unknown 16:18

And then I'm like this.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

I was like, I think he's gone. And then I put like this ajar again. And I told, I was like, I told my husband.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

I said, I want to go in there by my, I don't want to go by myself. And he's like, try it by yourself. Yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna go by myself. And I did.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah. It was very interesting. Yeah. I'm I'm too introverted for yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

I was too.

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Well, the steam rooms was the steam rooms at Equinox are better though.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Are they? So, so um But I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. I can't. So I mean I can't do these things now, you know. This is before, you know. Ooh. So don't let him get you. Don't let him get you. Don't let them get you. Get me away from this. So if I don't get me away. Holy done in the show. Oh my gosh. This is what happened. What are you saying, Khan Con? Tell me what about what you do, Dr.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Lee. Oh exciting.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

So has the gym sort of replaced single bars or or or sort of that like social connection? Because there is online and all of the apps and all like that. That's right. But I really don't see hooking up a lot at clubs a lot.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

So is it happening more at gym?

SPEAKER_00 18:03

I think so because it's more private. And I think it's for men who are not out, or it's men who don't even like feel like they're gay or queer. They just like to play with other men. Right, right. So it's more of a cruising thing. And we know cruising has been around since forever.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

These kids don't know how to cruise on the street, honey. They really don't.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

They don't. Uh-uh. And I am not going into the ramble at midnight in Central Park.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I don't want Lyme disease. The tick and the tick has an uptick in the tick. Hello.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

There is an uptick in the tick. You may get a bite somewhere where you don't want it. Yeah, thank you. You gotta be careful out there in those woods.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

The first time I ever got ticked off, honey, literally.

SPEAKER_02 18:44

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Was uh in the 80s giving crabs once, honey. And that was it. That was the only insect that I was. I got it for my dorm. Are you serial?

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Yeah, my my dorm Brooklyn. In the St. George Hotel, honey. Where they had uh NYU and Pratt. Yes, yes. F-I-T. Oh, we had some fun in that dorm. But honey, I sat on that toilet in someone's room. I called my parents.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

I was like, I have some. Ah!

SPEAKER_00 19:07

My dad laughed at me. He was like, I'm gonna send you something in the mail. Shaved everything. My roommates had to shave everything. Yeah, yeah. This really hot. I got it from the Roxy. I'm like, you gotta shave your bush, honey. Hello. You know something. You got it from the Roxy.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Cleared the field.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

I don't think they're around as much. No, they're not.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

This is very 80s. Yeah, yeah. So 80s.

unknown 19:28

So 80s.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

So 80s.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Yeah, yeah. Crabs. Crabs in the 80s. In the 80s and the 80s. And the seafood platter. Oh god. Sorry. Let's move on. So back to like seafood.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Seafood. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

So back to cruising.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Yeah, back to cruising. Yeah, please. We got rid of the crabs. We left the seafood boiling. We love the seafood.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

But no, you see that more in the gyms now, I think, you know. Crabs. Well, that.

SPEAKER_03 20:01

I mean, it is a steam room, but wouldn't that get rid of them though? What? The seam? No. No, okay. No. Not those types of creams. Listen, I've only played a doctor. He is a doctor.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Yeah, you gotta get the special medicine for those. Oh, bitch. It's shady.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

It's not a bird.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

You can like put it on. Oh, I can't. You can shave everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

I've been shaved ever since then. I've been very brazily. Yeah, no, I'm totally shaved. I can't do it. But I do like a bush on a man. Like, you know what I mean? Like I like bush garlic.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

No, I like hairy guys. Yes, me too. Me too. With a belly. Yeah, with a little bit of a belly. With a little bit of a belly. Absolutely. I like those skinny boys. I can't do anything with them. I need to grab it. I want a good pit, too. I want to smell the good stuff. Dad, body, dad, dad, bad. Dad, dad, dad body's gonna get it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

And I want the funk too. I want you after the gym. That I can't. I don't know about really.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

I'm all about the sniffies.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

The crotch, the the you gotta get on sniffies then. I've heard about that. Yes. I want to make an app called Stiffies.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Okay. Well, Sniffy's is like Uber dick. You see it coming just like the food.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

I can't do that.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Like it comes to your home. You see the dick literally go into your house. What about the ass? Now the bottom's at the end of the yeah, it's like an emoji dick.

unknown 21:17

Really?

SPEAKER_00 21:18

And then you're like, show me your face, they'll show their face sometimes. Or some people would say they're not. It's not delivery, it's g giorno, basically. Yeah. It's dick over.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Well, that that that is a lot of sex now. It is like ordering Chinese.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

It's like ordering China. You can get sex. You'll be hungry in five minutes.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

It's love.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

That was not racist.

unknown 21:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Anything you want. You want Italian, you get Italian. You want Asian? You want some soul? You want Dominican? Hey, go to Washington Ice, honey. You will see nothing but that on there, too. Like it shows the little areas where you can cruise. So many questions.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Oh, Lord have mercy.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

I study these apps and I write about it.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

I know you do, and I live for a bit. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

I have a new series out right now called The Truth About Religion. Relationships. Word. Yes. And the first one is about to drop. The situation ship. Which people find themselves in the world. You've been all the time. Okay, you know all the time.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

Thank you for this. Okay, so sister, when we've had this conversation, when people are going, there's lots of apps for different things, obviously, right? You know, you can get your you know, pop-off apps or whatever. But then the ones about relationships, they always seem to end up turning into a situation. Right. And it's like, where where where does the real app come into that's actually about it?

SPEAKER_00 22:32

So what happens is people get decision fatigue, and so they start chatting with it. There's so many options, and so they meet, and then they're going, uh, well, maybe there's something better out there. Right, yeah. And so they end up they don't they may ghost that person or not. Oh, the ghosting is on another level. The ghosting's on another level, so they just stop talking, and so they're going to the next best thing. And the app, it wants you to do that. Really? It cares about your money, honey. Subscription, it don't care about love, it's a little casino, and I want you to keep it on that level.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

I never thought of it like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Pull that slot machine and watch what you get to match, and then you go after it. I'm writing about this too in a book. You better work because that's what happens. Yeah. The algorithm of the app. And then you meet someone, and then it's like, okay, it could be a situation ship where you're both in one and you like it, and you want to take your time and see if you're emotionally invested. But then you have the unintentional situationship where people are just trying to figure out, oh, let's see where this goes, but they're not going forward because they have so many doubts. Well, there may be this, there may be that. And I'm like, bitch, just go. Yeah. Get the gas pedal. What are you waiting for? That's and that's what people need to do, I think. Because relationships develop over time. Absolutely. You're not gonna find everything in one day. You can talk about your values and what you like and what you want. Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

And that's just the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

But they become organic. They start, you start to learn more about someone when you start dating them more. Yeah, yeah. And that's what I try to tell my patients. And they're like, yeah, but I'm like, no, but it's also true. These gin zers, honey. Yeah. Oh, Christmas.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Also, the thing is that Christmas, the gin.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

I love a good cracker.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

But the WAG, yes, honey. She can get it. She can get it. I prefer that bad shone. I love a good cracker. I love a good cracker. I love a cracker.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

And a cracker. Housewives, honey. Honey. A buttered cracker is lovely.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

Wait, bring us down. Wait a minute. Bring us down the other umbrella of other topics on your uh the the the the show.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

So the dating, the dating when it's a good one. Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_03 24:36

But before you do that, I'm sorry, anime interrupt. Yeah. Before I forget. So, but the other person's gotta be on that trajectory. Yes. They do. So it's not fair if the if one's coming from that way and then the other one's not, and you're just kind of like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Yeah, like one person is wanting to go for, but the other one has like reservations. Right. And it's their own.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

But then perpetrating a fraud, acting like they want to. All right.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Then they act like they want to, and then they can't.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Obviously, never gonna get an answer to this.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

That's it's hard. It is, it's very hard.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

It's really hard. You'd want it to be.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

Because everybody's showing up um like you know it needs to be fit.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

It was one of those underlined.

SPEAKER_00 25:09

That's why I try to laugh about it.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

I have to laugh at it. Let's have fun with it, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:13

I think more people do need to meet by going out, though. I don't think people are doing that enough. Maybe they're relying on these dams. No, I can't.

SPEAKER_03 25:19

No, yes. It's it's one of those things I have off the side, but bitch, everyone, I excel in person, honey. Like, I like to touch, feel, smell. I want to feel my cheap produce and touch them. You know, growth.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

I love it.

SPEAKER_04 25:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

But it's like how how many of these, you know, kids have have had those kind of they don't have the conversations. You know what I mean? And there's that huge cutoff point of COVID. Yes. Yes. Of them, uh, uh, of them, of them seeing on screens, of them interacting with masks.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

COVID was a very interesting time because let me tell you something, honey. Couples, they stopped having sex, but they were masturbating. Hello! Pornhub rates went up.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

By both partners, like they were with each other all the time. If you're with each other all the time, yeah, it was hideous. Like I was with my husband in a in a studio apartment in DuPont Circle during COVID. He was using the bathroom sink for his desk, and honey, I was doing therapy sessions at the table with the damn little sound machine talking about dick, pussy, come, and then this girl across the way comes over and she's like, Um, I hear you talking about dick, but like I'm trying to study for like my law exam. Maybe you need some dick dick. And I'm like, She's like, but your conversations are better, and I'm hearing them, you know, because I'm in there like because my clients are like, Dr. Lee, please don't say penis. Please don't say vagina. Yeah. Just say cock and pussy. And I'm like, all right, fine. Exactly. You know?

SPEAKER_04 26:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:41

But that's what all the windows were open in the apartment building. So people heard each other. I love that. Having sex, fighting, talking about my husband's in the bathroom talking about like IT stuff, and I'm out there talking about orgasms. I live. That's the world, honey, that we're living in. But they stopped connecting. Yeah. And then after COVID abated, it was like, let's stay in this technology, which, okay, but they're like hooked in it and they don't want to meet and go out, and things are expensive now, too. So that's the other problem. They're brown bagging a lunch in Central Park for a date, honey.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Is that that's some money, honey? They they're they're uh they they stick like the little um airplane bombs in their socks.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

That's why I stumble across those. Oh!

SPEAKER_02 27:30

I didn't have to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

I see them in the gym too. There were like three of them in the locker room. Oh, get you one of them. Well, that strings are like 23 bucks. Let me take a shot, let me go to brunch. In the gym, you see them in the trash can. I can't. Yes. Okay, wait. So do you. These young'ins, they things are expensive.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Yeah, it's hard for them to be young. Would you go back if you could?

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Absolutely not. Not me.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

I like looking young, but I like having the maturity. You know what I mean? Yes. Like that's I couldn't do it. I'd never do it. I would never want to be young in my 20s. Oh. Talk about trauma. Yeah, no. Oh my. So other things under the umbrella on your show, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

So we're doing like um, I'm doing a dating series on there. I do um these different types of um, I'm gonna be doing like different situations just where I have some people come on and they talk about dating and what it's like for them. So getting more people on eventually, doing more sexual things, talking about sex positivity, doing some like things about kink world, just having more of that and really normalizing sexuality through comedy.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Especially having the conversation with people too.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

It's gonna be genius because nobody does that. Nobody does that. I don't know a lot of stand-up comedians who are therapists who do stand-ups. Now I know comedians who have therapists. Right, right, right, but not myself included. But thank you. Not like, you know, like a therapist doing comedy and like going out there and exploring the world of dating. Bringing it to the people and writing about it. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 29:02

And listening to the people, yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah, it's like a modern-day Carrie Bradshaw kind of going out there and writing about it, but doing it as a hot mess. I would love that, baby. Why not?

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Seriously, muzzle talking about it. Because I want to relate to people too who are going through things.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

I don't like recommending my patients to do something if I have to. If you haven't done it yet, I've tried it. Yeah, exactly. I've walked the walk, darling. Right. So I enjoy doing that. Yeah. Benoit balls are great. Right. I've never tried them, but they're great. They are, yeah, they've been around for years. No, they have, yeah. I've been with some people who've used them. Yeah, there's so many toys now. I know. I've never loved that toys.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

I've got toys. Never? I've never used toys now. Oh, there's so I'm told that I'm just a big toy myself. Oh you just love to play with me. On that note, you ready for a little fish bow? Yes. Shake the diamond. Speaking of seaful blah uh royal. Is it a crab? I got a turtle. I got a I'm turtling. Turtle soup. Turtle time. Turtle time. Turtle soup. Turtle soup. Turtle soup.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Okay, do I do I talk about this? Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 30:07

Wait, wait, wait. Oh, you got a turtle. Okay, yeah. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Are you more dangerous when you are bored or lonely? Ooh. Honey, when I am bored, I like to go out and be dangerous. Thank you, exactly. Lonely. Hello. I'm gonna sit there and like. Exactly. You're gonna address the boredom and get rid of her. I'm probably gonna eat a gummy and go to bed.

unknown 30:32

That's probably what happened.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

That needs to be on a t-shirt, honey. Come on, eat a gummy and go to bed. What about you, Khan? Um, what was the question?

SPEAKER_00 30:42

Are you more dangerous when you are bored or lonely?

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Perfect. Bored. I'm more dangerous when I'm bored. That's you know, no, that's good. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

Okay, yeah. And what was the question again?

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Are you more dangerous when you are bored or lonely? Both. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Okay. Both. Yes. I'm just dangerous all the time. Let's do one more. One more? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Shake it, shake it.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Shake it to die. Both.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

What her? What's that?

SPEAKER_00 31:21

That's uh uh um a tiger fish. Is that the Nemo? What is that? That's the Nemo fish. Is that a Nemo fish? Is it not Nemo? It's not? Is it tiger fish? I mean, it's the same type of little Nemo fish. Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 31:36

Okay. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club or another place? Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

Okay, what was it?

SPEAKER_00 31:45

I was at a bar and after hours. I was at a bar.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

At a Western town and did that.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

And then after hours in Norfolk, Vagina, where I'm from. Okay. And that's what I call it too. And I drank a little too much. Okay. I did the splits. Work. Came back up and I was dancing, and the woman came over. She's like, You need to leave. You're like too intoxicated. I was like, why? Why? I won't have any more. I promise. I promise. She's like, well, fine, you can stay. And I was like, no, I'm leaving. Fuck you. So I left. Yeah. I guess I had a little too many.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

Work. She was jealous.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

You've been kicked out of a place.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

Con, what about you, girl? That was seriously. I wasn't kicked out of the place. I was kicked out of the bathroom for having sex in the bathroom. Con Con! I know. Lena?

SPEAKER_03 32:35

Oh! That was a me answer. I'm proud of you. Talk about dangerous when you're bored, honey. I know! I'm bored. Let's go to the bathroom in the club. Oh my god, Con, I'm so proud of you. No, the not such a beautiful movement. That's a good way to be kicked out of a club. Thank you. Fine, I'm done anyway. Have I ever been kicked? Let me think. Anyplace. No. No. They want me. They really, really want me. I've kicked some bitches out of a club.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

Yeah, so that's yeah, yeah. I don't know. That evens out. Exactly. I was the kicker. Not the kickey. Yeah, yeah. Kick rocks, bitch. You're out. Oh, where can we find Dr. Lee? It was very damn like this. So TV.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

You can find me on social media, Dr. Lee Phillips, on Instagram. And the sauna. Ah no! And oh and on TikTok. And TikTok. Yes. Yeah, I think it's LPhillips420 on there. I mean, it's such a Gen Z handle. Everybody's still trying to figure out how to do it. What's your handle?

SPEAKER_02 33:48

Yeah, what's your hand-that's I it's like a little bit of a little bit of a little bit. I'm like, you mean the liquor handle?

SPEAKER_03 33:52

Yankee bitch. Navodka. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. Hey. Baby, you are everything, and you are honestly welcome back anytime. Yes. Please. We love you. We need to delve more. Absolutely. And we love sex talk. Yes, we'll have more of that. Yes, we do. We really do. We love it. This is a lot of fun. This is my sex talk.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Way to start a Monday. Right? Monday?

SPEAKER_03 34:20

I have no idea what day it is. Girl, I don't want to go back to work now. Oh, but you're working already, honey. We love you, sweetheart. And maybe muzzle tough on all the new umbrellas of the thing you did.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

And um, you guys, well, we're here every Thursday. Like, subscribe. Um, blessings, love and light, and always some brown sugar kisses. What you got, girl?

SPEAKER_02 34:40

I got some sugar kisses for my sugar dumplings. Deuce! Bye guys!

SPEAKER_03 34:50

Thank you, Daniel. Bye, Doctor. That was everything. Our show is produced by Josh Rosenspag and Matthew Breen. Our gorgeous graphics are by Daryl Raymond. Our theme music is You Need It. Produced and written and performed by 808 Beach, John J.C. Carr, and Bill Coleman. Courtesy of Peace Biscuit. Our perfect production designer is Daryl Dickens. This season's hair has been done by the heavenly hair goddess herself, Mariah. Our very special thanks to Jason Canner for all your wonderful support. The cutting up is a Pride House Media production.