Ep. 4 // Trippin' w Jenn

welcome to my little corner of the universe where i talk with fun people who tell me things i don't know - we learnin', folks!

we are talkin; SOUTHERN CHARM && our passenger Jenn tells us about her being, which is the.... life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. r u payin' attention?!

>>>> 

Follow Jenn: @jenuwine_pony

Follow Jenn's Art: 25th Street Creative

Follow da pod: @thecuriositytrip_

my music for the pod is from a free source platform, but i like to try and give credit {even though all the artists are like 'just use it and be creativeee'} so here are the song file names: 

intro music: 556459__johnnie_holiday__bass-house-128bpm.mp3

KwikStar commercial: ES_Porto Alegre Homebrew - Redeemin'.mp3

A Thousand Wishes commercial: mixkit-majestic-475.mp3 {yes, like Bath & Body Works}

DoorDash commercial: ES_Better Than That (Instrumental Version) - Zorro.mp3

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Get in, Louis Al.

SPEAKER_07 0:01

Yo, Jesus is my homeboy, and we're cruising for pussy.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

So the beginning is usually Bravo talk. Well, I can do that by myself if you don't want to talk about reality stuff.

SPEAKER_07 0:42

You can do a Bravo talk to lead into my cringe binge, but I don't know anything about Bravo.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

Okay, because I was gonna talk about Summerhouse and Okay, and what else? Um, what else was on this week?

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Southern Charm? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

I get Bravo. I need to start with. But we didn't talk about Summerhouse last time. We'll okay. We'll talk about Summerhouse.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Okay, we'll do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

Yeah. And then if I want to add in other stuff, I'll just do a separate part.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

My friend Jen is here and she wants to talk all things Jen. How about that?

SPEAKER_04 1:17

No, I'm gonna be like our our passenger is Jen. Dark passenger, but that hottie. But we got somebody in the back seat today, a returning passenger.

SPEAKER_07 1:31

Who's cruising for pussy? Name's KJ.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

I'm into that. Okay. I'm into that. All right. Montana didn't know what she was getting into, and I'm like, Of course I did.

SPEAKER_07 1:41

That's why I asked you. Like, I just need coffee. I don't even need a drink.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

I'm just gonna be obnoxious.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Alright, let's do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:50

Okay, I think I started the conversation as three Gemini's Gemini Risings walk into a bar, and it's not a joke, it's just a fact. And here we are, the bar is my living room, and we're here with Jen. She's our passenger for today, and she's gonna tell us about all things, Jen. But we pit picked up a hitchhiker. We know who it is. She's a hussy. She's a hussy. Her name is KJ. She's gonna cruise for pussy whatever. Her and Jesus are backseat bitches. KJ and Jesus are in the backseat. So KJ's gonna talk to me about some Bravo stuff, and then we'll talk. Jen's gonna tell us some very curious tales. So KJ?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:38

Are you here?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

I'm fucking here.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

How's the backseat?

SPEAKER_02 2:42

You can curse. It's comfy.

SPEAKER_07 2:44

It's preferable if you curse. Is it a bench back seat with you and Jesus? Are you holding hands? What's the mode back there? Basically, we're you.

SPEAKER_05 2:52

Oh shit, they're always talking about me. Jesus is so disappointed in me.

SPEAKER_07 2:56

Oh wow. But I ate fish last night, so I feel like I'm working my way back. That always helps. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

Um, okay, KJ, I want to talk to you about Summer House.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Let's go. Alright, should we start from like the first episode?

SPEAKER_04 3:11

I think so, because we haven't talked about it since it started airing.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Okay. My thoughts. Yes. It seems very light. It seems like everyone's getting along, and I love that. I don't hate anyone in the house except for Jesse. Fuck Jesse.

SPEAKER_07 3:29

Fuck Jesse. I don't even know this bitch, but fuck Jesse. Yeah. Oh, fuck him too. Especially. And his girlfriend, Jesse.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Or boyfriend, Jesse. Alright.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

Jesse went from being like, so Jesse, when he came onto the show, he was like, I'm Jesse. He was like, everybody was obsessed with him. And like, I hope he's fine, but he had cancer, and so everyone felt really bad for him. But he also is like such a fuck.

SPEAKER_07 3:58

Like he is his cancer healed, so we can shit on him. Correct. Okay, yeah, fine. Is it Jesse with an I, Jesse with a Y? Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

So Montana sent me the best text ever. And I was trying to think about it this morning, and I was like, someone sent me a text about cancer, and it was so funny, but it was like also like I probably shouldn't say it. It's awful anyone.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

But Montana was my dad had cancer, so I can say this.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Yeah, we've all known someone that has cancer.

SPEAKER_04 4:26

Yeah, everybody. We probably have cancer right now.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

I'm in Iowa.

SPEAKER_07 4:30

Drinking the lead paint.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Exactly. But she was like, Alright, his cancer's gone. We can finally talk about this. But he's like that guy in high school or middle school that would just be like cringy as fuck. Like he would just be like, Oh, I just farted.

SPEAKER_04 4:46

It's like he he is acting like your friends, but he actually is like trying to sleep with you. Yeah, the whole time. That's everybody in my life. Just kidding. Just kidding. It's kind of wild because um actually this is really fun describing Summer House to Jen because she's never seen it.

SPEAKER_07 5:08

I have no idea what Summer House is. Is it like Jersey Shore? Like, is it reality TV? So they scripted. I mean, all reality TV is script.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

So they all are from New York, but they go to the Hamptons and they live in a summer house together for the weekend.

SPEAKER_08 5:22

Yeah, gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 5:24

And um, one of the things about Summer House is that they have bed bugs. So the gals, like their favorite thing to do is like go into bed and like have little kikis and like yap with each other, which of course we love to do that. But Jesse has infiltrated the bed bugs, like he wants to be in the yap sessions, but he's making them weird. But we only let girls in yap. Usually, it's a girl slumber party. Get out, Jesse. Exactly. And so now he's in there and he's making it weird because um Sierra is one of the bed bugs who we love.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

I'll show you a picture of Sierra.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

She's fucking hot, and he wants to sleep with her really badly.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

He wants to sleep with any girl.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Yes, but he's trying to play nonchalant, so he's like bed bugging, like they're all laying in bed together in this episode that just aired. And it's like a queen bed, I take it, king.

SPEAKER_07 6:19

Like, it's gotta be a queen. Not a California king. It's probably a queen. It's probably a queen bed.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

How slumber party we go on, sleeping bags. I think it's a queen, but he's like laying in bed with them, and then he's talking about his boner. Don't talk about your boner during the app time. Dude, everybody always talking about their boners like middle school, awkward. It's very uncovered.

SPEAKER_07 6:43

The guy is the only guy that's trying to get in on the bed bugs.

SPEAKER_04 6:46

I mean, they probably all are, but he's the only one with enough gall gumption to actually do it on camera. He sounds like he's a fuckboy. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

He's almost too dumb to be a fuckboy. That's Sierra.

SPEAKER_07 7:00

Damn, boobs. Yeah, she's pretty, she's iconic.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

She's like a Victoria's Secret model, and everyone always says, How is this Victoria's Secret type model worried about these boys on this reality TV show when she could literally have anyone? And it's I love her, to like her personality, everything. But Jesse, he like does that whole I'm your best friend, I'm your best friend, and like gets in there and it's like alright, bitch.

SPEAKER_07 7:32

He tries to go from friend card to boner card. Yeah. Correct. We've all had friends doesn't do that for you. It doesn't work.

SPEAKER_04 7:40

Well, it's not working for him. He's trying to make it work.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

I don't think any man that plays the friend card, like I'm just friends with I've had a lot of guy friends, and they've always, always wanted to sleep with me. I don't think that men and women can usually be friends. I really don't. I think men always want to sleep with the girl. But we love the gays. Oh, that's completely different.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

That's completely different. Yeah, but yeah, I uh I yeah, I don't, I don't is that a Gemini rising thing? I am gonna come back to that a lot because I think that's a thing with our personalities.

SPEAKER_07 8:15

I was always very naive in that, like I have a lot of guy friends, it's because I talk like a trucker and I'm just friends with everybody. And then my husband informed me that um, no, because they secretly, if I wasn't with you, they'd all try to get with you. And I'm like, no, they wouldn't. Yeah, but I think he might be right.

SPEAKER_04 8:32

Yeah. I uh I was out with Creed the other weekend, and this guy came up to me. I had my little keyboard out with me. It's like an analog. Like I used to play with it as a kid, and I had it with me. This guy comes up, he's like, What's your little keyboard? And he starts, I thought this guy was gay, so I was like, Yeah, let's like have some like little music time, da-da-da-da. Creed and I wake up the next morning and he's like, That guy was totally hitting on you. And I was like, No, that guy was gay. He's like, It's because you don't know you're hot. That's the problem.

SPEAKER_07 9:00

Also, isn't it? Never think they're hitting on you because you're hot and you don't know him.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

No, but I told him I was like, You're gay, right? To this guy. He probably was so mad at that.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

It's also crazy because I feel like I let my guard down so much around men that I think are gay.

SPEAKER_07 9:14

And then when they're not, you're shook. You and I have that one for a guy is not gay. Oh my god, I would and I text Chris and I was like, I would have never said the things I said in the DM to him, knowing that he has a girlfriend, and now I feel gross. Yeah, right. I have no idea. I'm like, I feel like I need to apologize.

SPEAKER_04 9:39

Um Kyle and Amanda.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

Oh, I'm just so over. I'm so glad that that's over.

SPEAKER_07 9:46

Do we hate Kyle? Because I hate guys named Kyle.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Yeah, we all hate Kyle.

SPEAKER_07 9:49

Kyle's trying to be a DJ.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Yeah, he's 43 years old, 42, 43, doesn't matter. Whatever. He's trying to be a DJ. So Kyle and Amanda have started their relationship from season one on Summer House. Amanda was the girl that he was hooking up with. And this is what, like 12 years ago, 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

It's a long time ago.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

And she was just like this little innocent, whatever, and he was like making out with girls, going out, drinking, but he hasn't seen multiple allegations of cheating throughout the show on the show. Which are probably true then. 100%. And it hasn't stopped.

SPEAKER_07 10:23

Your name's Kyle, you're a cheater. Sorry, Kyle. Sorry to the Kyles that are not. Goodbye, Kyle. Goodbye, Kyle.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

You can at Jen personally at so Kyle, they got married, and she was like, What I want from you is for you to be home more, for you to be present and stop drinking as much. And he's like, Okay, well, I found this career that I'm passionate about. I want to be a DJ. And she's like, What are the odds that the one thing that I want from you is to stop being out late in drinking? You find the one career to do that, and so it's it's the loophole.

SPEAKER_04 11:08

Well, in his first career was selling alcohol, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Which she, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:15

Which she is the creative director for. So what I feel like a lot of Bravo people also do alcohol, so that I'm not knocking that.

SPEAKER_07 11:21

But the alcohol and how is their marriage going and when is the divorce party? They just broke, they just separated. Oh no, so shocked. Shook.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

We're watching we're watching their separation uh happen on the show, right? Watching the drama unfold.

SPEAKER_07 11:38

Yes, you don't have drama in your real life, you need to have an umbravo.

SPEAKER_04 11:41

Yeah, I think that's why we watch it, to be honest with you. It's like, let me feel better about myself by watching all of this chaos.

SPEAKER_07 11:48

I have the chaos in my own life, which is good, but I need to still see it unfold. Exactly. I still want to eat the popcorn. That's a man bag. Okay, where's DJ four-year-old? We don't I don't follow him.

SPEAKER_06 12:01

I need to see this guy.

SPEAKER_04 12:04

You don't. He has a faux hawk.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

He used to have a mullet. He used to have a mullet.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

He's a blonde, like you know what he looks like. Does he have guylights?

SPEAKER_07 12:14

Betty has guylights. Is that like highlights, but for guys?

SPEAKER_04 12:18

That's so he probably actually does.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

I don't know for sure, but but no, it's the only other thing I want to talk about with Summer House is how much I love West.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

I know.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

And it's so hard because he is so charismatic, he's so funny, he's the cutest. I love him so much. He's like the perfect He's funny as fuck. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 12:42

Everything he's the personality hire of the show.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Oh, he's so good. But he broke Sierra's heart. Sierra is the girl I showed you first, the absolute model of a woman. So there's a bunch of drama circulating.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

I don't know how much of it is true about I don't even know if I want to say it because I don't know if it's true, but there are memes that Amanda and West have been making out. But I don't I just don't know if I can believe it. I mean, it's on the internet.

SPEAKER_07 13:11

TMZ just called Montana. You weren't supposed to leak that yet. Okay. Zimwa? Zimwa.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

But so far, Summer House has been like they always do the same. It leads up to some stuff. Nothing really great has happened.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

I love the new people. We have been talking about the newbies on the show. I like them a lot.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

I don't give them a lot of credit because I know how I would be with new people in a house, and I'd be like, KJ wants you to earn it. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 13:43

Of course, but okay, I liked none of the newbies have ever. This is so silly, but I actually really loved when they hit us plants and scared everybody as they came into the house.

SPEAKER_07 13:56

Like Bad Bunny's halftime show, they were just like, the bush over here, don't see anything.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:01

Oh, why does that bush have eyes? Hello.

unknown 14:04

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

They showed up early, and as every all of the old people came into the house, they were like hiding as a plant in the corner and be like, and I was laughing my ass off. I was like, this is actually really funny, and no one's ever done that before.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

I think that's one thing that I love about the humor is good. I love about reality TV is that you can watch it and watch people be silly and have fun, especially in like times like these. It's like everything's so heavy. Yeah, it's really cool. Like, even with traders, it's really cool to watch people just like fuck off and they're just having well.

SPEAKER_07 14:42

That's the best part of reality TV is usually they have no access to phone TV or any of the games. They're just in a bubble. So they start to make up stupid games and do stupid shit. Like we're at camp. Exactly. Summer camp.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

It truly is summer camp.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:01

It truly is summer camp. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

No, it makes me happy. And Montana and I watch so much reality TV. It's like I have to.

SPEAKER_04 15:10

I'm an I'm a researcher.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

It just makes me happy. It makes me not think about my own life, and they're like worried about diamonds and Birkins.

SPEAKER_07 15:19

And I'm like, well, and you can I like to watch reality TV because I don't have a lot of time to watch TV because I'm such a career woman. Right. But um very corporate, very corporate. Pick up any season, any episode, and just get into it. You don't need a background, you don't need to be like, Well, I haven't seen part one. Well, I know what's happening in part two. You don't you'll catch up in five minutes. It doesn't matter, it's all bullshit. So it's fun. Yeah, it's like it is fun. It's good, mindless, easy watching, and entertaining. Exactly. That's why I watch a lot of MTV reality TV shows.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

Yeah, so we're gonna get into some cringe binge eventually. But before we do, while we have our backseat hussy, we need to learn about Jen's chart. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_07 16:04

Yeah, I've always wanted to be like a horoscope crystal gypsy type woman. That's why I got my nose pierced, so I got the finger tats. Like, I'm trying really hard. Yeah. And I want the aesthetic. I have crystals at home. I have the incense. I have a whole room that is my white bitch room. Like ask me for advice. Yes. But I can't for the life of me even remember shit about my own horoscope. So I'm a really I'm a fake. But please tell me about me because we'll tell you about you and then you tell us about shit.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

I want to know more. So I okay, it would, it's almost it's almost identical of how I met Montana to how I met Jen.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

Yeah. It was like when I first And I do before you start want to reiterate that we are all three Gemini risings, which is very important to this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Yeah. So like when I first met Montana, I was like, this girl is crazy. What the fuck? And then I started seeing more and more similarities and all that. And then especially when I met you, I was like, I felt like this, there was like this immediate connection with you. And I was like, whatever. What this is this is odd. But anyway, I wake up at eight o'clock this morning and I find my text message group with these two, and it was Jen's a Gemini Rising. So Montana and I are both Gemini risings, and it all seems to make sense. So I have Earth sign sons.

SPEAKER_07 17:38

Oh, you're an Earth sign too?

SPEAKER_04 17:39

I'm a Capricorn. Yeah. That's why when you said Jesus, I'm Jesus, because Jesus is a Capricorn. I was like, don't even say that right now.

SPEAKER_07 17:46

Dang. Yes. I'm more like Mother Mary. Is she an earth sign?

SPEAKER_04 17:50

She's a Virgo.

SPEAKER_07 17:52

She's a Virgo. She's the original virgin. Virgin Virgo. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

No, that I think that's actually accurate.

SPEAKER_07 17:59

We need to ask Mary.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

We can summon her later.

SPEAKER_07 18:04

Let me go get my Ouija board. We're gonna go talk to Mary.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Griff, bring it over. Okay, so um reading the reading the overall signs. Your sun is a Virgo, your moon is a Cancer, and then your rising is Gemini. So Gemini rising, we'll start with that since all three of us are Gemini risings. Geminis in general, I think are known as brilliant. If you love thank you, you're welcome. And we'll just start off with your rising sign is how you come off to the world. Right.

SPEAKER_07 18:39

And it's like how people perceive you for sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

On the immediate visit of like, oh, they're very intelligent, they are charismatic, they are we're woo girls. No, no, no, no, that's like a Leo. Like, we're not doing that. Um so if you think about all the so anyway, rising signs, it's like how you're perceived initially. I think your moon sign is who you are when you're emotional.

SPEAKER_07 19:11

How you see yourself.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

No, the sun.

SPEAKER_07 19:14

KJ's really putting us in our place. Okay. This bitch in the back doing some like backseat driving here. Oh truly. Okay, keep going though.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

No, Jesus take the wheel. Yeah, Jesus take this wheel right into that ditch.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

We'll forget. Your moon sign is who you are when you're, I would say, drunk, when you're emotional. It's like who you lean into when you're I don't think I was wrong then, because that's how you see yourself. I'm a true being. I don't know. I don't see myself as my moon sign.

SPEAKER_07 19:44

What's your moon sign?

SPEAKER_02 19:45

A Leo.

SPEAKER_07 19:45

And I'm a cancer moon sign. What's yours? Aquarius. Okay. I know nothing of any of that.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

I think you lean into it's all different. We won't get into that. Anyway. Rising sign, how you come off to the world, moon sign is how your emotional being is, and then your sun sign is what you're born into. But essentially, your rising sign is who you grow into as you get older.

SPEAKER_07 20:07

So it's kind of the most important.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

I think so.

SPEAKER_07 20:09

Because like you don't choose what you're born into. Like you can't choose that thing.

SPEAKER_04 20:13

It's who you're supposed to become. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Right. So a lot of things with Gemini, if you look at the most influential people in the world, they are Geminis. Donald Trump. Yeah, we're not going to be able to do that. Donald Trump.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

Oh god. No, but I know it's I know, but yes, he is.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

Like, look at how Kanye West, Tupac, Lauren Hill, Andre 3000, Kendrick Lamar. You look at all of them. You love Kendrick. I knew that was coming in.

SPEAKER_07 20:38

Bob Dylan. Like you look at Bob Ross. What's he?

SPEAKER_06 20:42

He's probably like a cancer movie.

SPEAKER_07 20:45

What's he hiding in that hair? He's a Virgo Sun cancer woman.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

So you look at like all of this influential, all of these influential people who are Geminis, and you want to like you try and like figure out how it's connected to you. So Geminis want to be influential in the world. This makes sense because I really really want to be.

SPEAKER_07 21:09

You want to be remembered? I want to be remembered. I went viral on TikTok for sending llamas to my son, and it was like the best day of my fucking life. It went viral on TikTok, birth of my son, meeting my husband in that order. Because I really feel like I would be an influential person, and that would be really dream come true.

SPEAKER_04 21:28

Like I think it's because we know we should be influential because we're actually good fucking people.

SPEAKER_07 21:33

I'm so salty with MTV that they came out with 16 Impregnant. Hello. I'm the original 16 and pregnant. I would have made way better TV than frickin' Farah and Macy. Yes. Sit down. My story's better. Like, I should have been on that TV show. I agree. He owes me money. I tweeted at them. Get my Jemica Crawley. And I said, MTV, I'm giving you one more chance. 16 and pregnant, the college years. If say buddy. Bella can do it, I can do it. Follow my son and I while he goes off here. And they didn't even hit me back. And that would have been baller money right there. So many views to watch my son and I quit college together.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Also, I am obsessed.

SPEAKER_07 22:14

I would have watched it.

SPEAKER_02 22:15

With your signs. So your Virgo is very much work hard, put your nose down. This is what I'm supposed to do. I do the right thing all the time. I have to do this. You have this in the back of your head.

SPEAKER_07 22:29

Like I'm supposed to do these right perfectionist and super hard working.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Just follow the rules. And your cancer moon is like it's it's very empathetic. Yeah. Where there's a lot with air side, less so with um earth and water science. Where I feel like air and fire later in life, you get the benefits that you were trying to reap early on in life. So I feel like a lot of the Gemini, and I don't know if this is true for you, but later in life, you might have had a lot of struggles early, but later on in life you're finally like okay, this all worked out how it was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_07 23:10

Yeah, that is my life. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

Like from the bottom of the Start up from the bottom of the tone whole team fucking hand. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

And then the only other part of your well, you can talk about the nodes, but I don't know enough about it.

SPEAKER_04 23:30

I don't either.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

So I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 23:32

I just said it was interesting to me. But the other thing was that your Mercury is Libra, which is the way that you communicate with people, and Libra is your sign, which I thought was interesting.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

How am I communicating? Diplomatically. So I have four aspects in Libra. Mercury is one of them, and all you try to do is be like all sides to every issue. Um and then it's it kind of puts you in a pickle. Like you could disagree with someone, but you would be like, this is the way that we have to communicate in order to get things done. Like you are just constantly trying to appease other people.

SPEAKER_07 24:16

Well, and Virgo is very immutable, which I feel like I am. I conform to whatever group I'm around. That's why my friend groups are very different. And if they all come together, it kind of gets weird. Because it's like, oh no, this friend group's meeting this friend group, which is meeting these nerd groups that I'm friends with. And you're kind of like friends with everybody in their own way, but then they all don't necessarily mesh well. But me personally, I'm just like conforming and fitting in where I need to.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

That's also a very Libra thing. Like you can, I think any air sign they can conform to any group. They're like shapeshifters, they can they can be whoever the group is, which is like superpower. I think it's a beautiful thing. Where some people who don't have any air signs called me on it. But it's like it's a beautiful thing to be able to get along with anyone. Like if you're in sales, especially, like, oh I can have a conversation with this guy even though I know he's racist. Like I give me your money. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 25:27

Like probably why I did so well in the service industry and making those tips.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

Like I mean, that's yeah. I think is it your sign or being a bartender or the mix of nature nurture?

SPEAKER_02 25:44

I think it's a mixture of all.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Maybe it's all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

I don't think that there's ever like nature nurture. I don't think there's ever this is your sign.

SPEAKER_04 25:53

I think it's like an amalgamation for sure.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

100%.

SPEAKER_04 25:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

I like that. That was beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

That's all I have for other than that, you're meditating as Aquarius, and that means that you're not supposed to be in corporate world because you're like oh man.

SPEAKER_07 26:12

So yeah, about that. Me being in corporate world. So about that. Like I feel buckle in. I'm doing great in corporate world. However, I feel like I'm always on the verge of getting called by HR.

SPEAKER_04 26:27

Yes. I feel that every day too. Like, I I'm definitely the personality hire. Yeah. And I think every day I'm going to do it.

SPEAKER_07 26:34

And I know that this is my sense in corporate world because in corporate world, they're like, oh, we need to have a fun committee or we need to have this event. Uh I won't say the name that I work, so we'll just say in a tech, in a tech.

SPEAKER_04 26:47

You'll do it, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 26:48

And they're like, put Jen in it. She's so good at bringing people together and having a good time. You'll do it, right? Jen will do this. Jen will do that. And I'm like, how about corporate world in a tech? Instead of hiring me on to be this manager of this super serious job, you just pay me what you currently pay me, and I will be your fun hire. And I will do all the events and I will make everybody have fun. And you just pay me what I pay now. But I'm not in charge of these controls and these serious things because that's not where I think that should be a corporate job.

SPEAKER_04 27:17

Is um I need to get paid to make these people have fun because this place is not fun.

SPEAKER_07 27:22

I need to be corporate philanthropy. Like house funny, house funny, and affairs. That's me in my corporate world. I'm just gonna make everybody have fun, keep it lighthearted.

SPEAKER_04 27:35

Say your name in a devil voice. Mandana.

unknown 27:39

Jen.

SPEAKER_04 27:43

Boy, I'm gonna make people do this in our sales meeting on Monday. They're gonna be like, so does anyone have one last question? And I'm gonna be like, can we all just say our name in a devil voice really quick?

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Mandana.

SPEAKER_07 27:57

Jennifer. Come on, KJ. Chime in. You have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

Yeah. Mine would be like angelic. Because KJ. It would because that's fucking devilish to me.

SPEAKER_07 28:11

KJ. Well, it is kind of like when you go to a haunted house and it's like the slow kid music with the ball and the rocking horse. Like, that is more terrifying than the devil. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Yes, see? It's creepy. My name is KJ.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

That fits, that checks out. Yeah. Or like an old boss that you fucking hated. It's bear boys. Like it's just any boss.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

I was gonna say a name, but I'm not gonna say it.

SPEAKER_02 28:43

No, go ahead. Say it. We'll cut it out and post. Are you mad at me? My name's KJ. Are you mad at me? Is everything okay? Are you mad at me? My name's KJ.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

No, a different guy. The first one. The one at the one that went to the bar.

SPEAKER_07 28:59

There's too many secrets. I don't know. Just say it. We'll bleep it out. Here I'll do it. It's a censor.

SPEAKER_04 29:09

I'll tell you. Um, okay. Anything else? We're gonna take a little break before we get into the the separate parts.

unknown 29:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 29:18

Are you you're in corporate world?

SPEAKER_04 29:19

I am.

SPEAKER_07 29:20

Kind of in corporate world or getting out. You got out. I got out. We love to see it. We fucking love to see it. Us corporate girlies, we need to see when I'm rising out of corporate world.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

We love to talk about how much we love corporate.

SPEAKER_07 29:33

Yeah. I like to do a lot of side hustles that I hope someday get me out of corporate world.

SPEAKER_04 29:38

Correct.

SPEAKER_07 29:41

I'm doing too many things. I'm doing too much to get out of side or out of corporate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

Me too. That's why I don't sleep.

SPEAKER_07 29:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:50

I talk about all your side hustles all the time.

SPEAKER_07 29:52

You talk about my side hustles? Get me jobs.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Well, like I talk about you, especially to my boyfriend, because he's all about the side hustles. How we're gonna make money without having to like do the work and how we're gonna make money and be your own daddy, make your own sugar.

SPEAKER_07 30:09

I don't need a sugar daddy or a boss. I want to make my own money and make my own sugar, be my own daddy.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

Yes, share.

SPEAKER_07 30:15

Yeah, yeah. We have to make our own sugar. I'm not a rich. We weren't blessed enough to have a daddy war box. We gotta be our own daddy warbox. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:25

I am a rich man.

SPEAKER_07 30:28

I'm a rich man disguised and with no money. So I'm fucking saying.

SPEAKER_04 30:38

Okay, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back. And now a word from our non-sponsors. The best part of a road trip isn't the destination, it's the gas station. At Quickstar, you can fill up on coffee, grab a 12 a.m. cheeseburger, and fill yourself up for all of life's adventures. I didn't know that Curiosity tasted like a cheese pill breadstick.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Quickstar. There's definitely one in your cup of the first. A thousand, which is a thousand possibilities. A thousand moments? You didn't know you were curious about that one.

SPEAKER_04 31:54

Welcome everyone to DDA. Where we remind ourselves we don't have to cook. And that's okay. Hi, I'm Montana. It's been three hours since I last door dashed. My oven is purely decorative. My sponsor is my delivery driver. And let's just say she's somewhat of an enabler.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

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SPEAKER_04 32:42

Whether you're spiraling through the universe or charging extra to smother that steak in mushroom and onions.

SPEAKER_03 32:49

DoorDash. Emotional stability, deliver. A disclaimer from my husband, who's also my manager, who wanted to make sure that y'all knew that we don't actually represent these brands. So this is me telling you that we do not actually represent these brands. But they could support us if they wanted to.

unknown 33:08

Thanks, bye.

SPEAKER_07 33:11

Are we recording right now? Um if we are, cut that out.

SPEAKER_04 33:17

Okay, so we're back, we're strapped.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

All the time disco occasionally.

SPEAKER_04 33:24

That's what I said. We're backed and we're strapped. We're with Jen. She's gonna tell us about her life. Jen, I'm obsessed with you. You're obsessed with me? Yes. I want to hear everything you have to say. Alright, do you want me to tell you about cringe binge? Oh yes. I have a list and cringe binge is at the top. So start with it.

SPEAKER_07 33:46

Okay, so since we were talking about reality TV, I started this new thing called cringe binge where find the cringiest shit you can ever think of and watch. Which you started with one of your friends. Well, I started and introduced her to it because I was like, who else is gonna ride this psychotic, dumb shit with me? And I was like, my girl Aislin. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

Is she from your hometown?

SPEAKER_07 34:08

She's from my hometown, she's the best. Shout out. And this girl, like, she she kind of led my life in the direction it is now because she's older than me, and she was the one like we worked at Hardy's together. We called it hard-ons back in the day. Of course. And uh I dated her brother in middle school, and then I called to talk to him at his her house one day, and she answered and goes, Are you Jen? Stop hanging out with my loser brother and hang out with me because we're too cool. And that's how you became friends. And I was like, Okay, so I dumped a brother and started hanging out with her, and uh, she's just the routest chick. Her mom had a license plate in high school that was SWF for life, which was single white female. I was obsessed with these people, like they're just great. We would have house parties. She used to work at um I love all she used to work at High V and that's not here, but obviously our hometown. And we would take her mom to High V and we'd be like, We want that vodka, we want those back then. It was like Zima, Everclear. And they'd put it in the cart and we'd get to the cash register, and we're like, Hell yeah, Dorothy's single white female hooking us up.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Everclear.

SPEAKER_07 35:22

So this is my bestie of life, but like we're just doing ratchet shit. Yeah, no matter at what age.

SPEAKER_04 35:29

So and so now you're watching the crungiest, craziest shite on TV.

SPEAKER_07 35:39

And she's like, No, I'm like, you won't be as cringed at this because you don't have a child of this age, but we also will say that she's cool mom to my son. We always refer to Aislin as like, she's cool mom, I'm regular mom. So I'm like, so watch this and just like get in the mind of like you do have a child that's in his 20s and we're in our 50s, 40s, whatever. Right. So the premise of the show is they take six women that are between the ages of 43 and 59, and they're like, You're gonna go to this island and you're gonna date younger men, and they're like, Hell yeah. And they all look like they're real housewives, they got the big lips, the botox, the and this is on TLC. This is TLC, I believe, yes. And so they get to this island and they're like, all the moms are meeting each other, and they're all dressed like fucking skanks. Love that's what they are for the reality. Short skirts, short tight skirts like leather, they're like the thirsty moms, they're thirsty, thirsty moms. Yes, big hair, big lips, big, big fake tits. And then they tell six men that are ages 20 to like 31, you're gonna go to an island and you're gonna date older women, and they're like, hell yeah. Because men at that age, they're like, I wanna fuck the mom. Right, as like a trophy type thing, whatever, you know, it's like they want to do the older ladies, so they get out there, they have like this partition up, and they drop the partition, and the men are like, wait a minute, and the the why the moms are like, wait a minute, it's their sons. They're dating each other's sons, dating each other's sons. This is cringe bench, you guys. This is cringe fucking drop the mic, TLC coming in. They're dating each other's sons. So the moms are there.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

I was wondering why there was so many to build up. Yeah, what's the twist? We get it.

SPEAKER_07 37:39

Oh. So I'm in here, like, oh god, no. Like, I'm imagining me being out there because like I'm 43. My son's 25. If that thing dropped and I'm looking at a bunch of 25, 30-year-olds, and they're with my son, I'm like, oh hell no. Hell no. My son is already, like, currently, like, any man come up to me and talk to me at a bar. Like, my son went to the University of Iowa. I'd go for mom's weekend, we'd be out at the bar. Any man come up and talk to me, he'd come up and be like, bro, you don't talk to my mom, get fucking lost. Like, he's very protective. So to go on a dating show with your mom and knowing, like, also gross, if my son is trying to fuck a 40-year-old, hell no. Hell no.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Wait, this is actually okay. We're gonna, this is a side note, but we're gonna watch this afternoon.

SPEAKER_07 38:24

Oh my god, it's it's nine, ten episodes long, and it gets worse and worse and worse. That's insane. There is a second season, it stopped after this. The second season, I feel like they probably got a lot of heat for making children date their moms' friends because the second season is legit just MILFs are dating 25-year-olds that are not related to them. So it's not, I haven't even watched it because I'm like boring, want to see the children back because that's cringy.

SPEAKER_04 38:51

Okay, so I so I watch a show, it's not the same premise, but it is like tangentially similar. It's twins that come in, and it's called I think it's called Twin Island or something. The twins come in, they separate into houses, and then the twins are dating each other's twins in separate houses.

SPEAKER_07 39:12

This could be a cringe bench. And wait, can they swap and see if they notice?

SPEAKER_04 39:16

They don't swap, but they date they date each other's twins in separate houses, but there's also eliminations.

SPEAKER_07 39:23

And so if one stuff with one twin and you should swap and date the other one, do they do that?

SPEAKER_04 39:29

If one if one twin gets eliminated in this house, then that twin also gets eliminated. So it's like there are multiple couples.

SPEAKER_07 39:40

Correct. So in MILF Mannor, here's the other cringe thing. When they get into the reality house, the moms and sons share rooms. So if sun is like, you know, I'm really feeling a connection, they're doing debriefs at the end of the night with each other. So they're like, I'm really if son, if son one is like, I'm really feeling it. Wait, this is insane. And I'm gonna bring her back to my room. Your fucking mom is in the queen next to you. Or if mom is like, I'm really feeling are they fucking next to each other? Tyler, and I'm gonna bring him back to the room. Your son is in the bed next to you. That's so messed up.

SPEAKER_04 40:18

Like, I watch Love Island, and I've literally watched them like have sex in beds next to each other, which is like it's stranger, so but it still is weird. That's fucking okay.

SPEAKER_07 40:31

So, in this cringe binge, like you never actually get to a point of them like boning, thank god, because so cringe, but they do like make out with the moms, and the moms are making out with the sons, and it's funny because the sons, when they see their mom is making a connection with some 25-year-old, they're like, Bro, I'm gonna cock block you. Get the fuck out of my mom's room. And then the moms are doing that to their sons. They're like, I don't like that Rebecca's trying to get with Tyler, like, she is not the woman for him, but then towards the end, they're like, I'm so TLC. This is some TLC unhinged shit, where towards the end they'll be like, I'm really happy for my mom putting herself out there, and I really feel like Tyler is a good guy for my mom. And also the reality TV people that are in the show, I looked them up after the show. Some of them are like really well known. Like one of the moms was in like MacGyver, and she was in like one of the sons, or yeah, one of the sons, it's like, oh, he played the grandson in Golden Curls. Like, it's like already kind of delist celebrity people that are on the show. So if you look into their background, it's like, oh, this is just trying to revamp their it's wild. You have to watch it, it's so cringe. Okay, I'm very into this. Yeah, we're gonna start so cringe binge. It has to be super uncomfortable. There is an episode where they do sex ed with their kids, and they have they have a drawing up of the woman's reproductive stuff, and they make one of these like little baby 21-year-olds go up and go, All right, show us the labia, and they're like, Where? And they're like, son, no, and then one son gets down on an orange to show he would be baby. I know. First of all, my son's favorite saying, my son's favorite saying when we go out and anybody hits on me, or if I say something that's just me being me, he always goes, check place, and then we gotta leave. Check place.

SPEAKER_06 42:26

Yeah, check place. If that partition came up and my son and I he would go, check please, we'd be getting on the boat, driving on the island, we're good. I gotta go. I gotta get the fuck out of here, right? Partaking in sex ed with my son, get the fuck out of here. I have to get out of here right now.

SPEAKER_07 42:44

So yeah, that's cringe binge. My other cringe binge is again TLC unhinged. Um, they have my husband's not gay. It's an episode you can put this.

SPEAKER_04 42:54

Oh this is all on TLC.

SPEAKER_07 42:57

I need to watch TLC. Yeah, TLC, you guys.

SPEAKER_04 42:59

That's where it's we're plateauing that bravo.

SPEAKER_07 43:02

We need to get into the next level with TLC. So it's my husband's not gay. It's an episode about like three guys that's all more. They're all more men, guys. And um, they're married and they chose this life to be married, but they have what's called SSA. Same-sex attraction. They are not gay, right? But they're attracted to men. And the wives are like, Yeah, my husband's not gay. He just struggles with SSA.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 43:30

And in the episode, one of the guys is like, I'm gonna go camping with the boys, and the wife goes, Do you remember what happened last time when you went camping?

SPEAKER_02 43:41

I've seen this campaign.

SPEAKER_07 43:41

And the husband goes, I've things went a little too far, and then he wakes up the camera.

SPEAKER_06 43:50

I've seen this.

SPEAKER_07 43:51

It is so unfortunate, and it's just you kind of feel bad because you're like, these men are like so cool. So you're in a Yeah, but it's like these men are so committed to being Mormon and like respecting their religion, like let those boys be gay. Like they need to just be gay. And like let's just accept them as gay. And the wives are like, they're not gay. They're not. And they're like, This is so fascinating. Like, what would you rate? They call it the danger scale, one through four danger scale for is like, I can't be left alone with this man. It's too dangerous. And they rated their wives at like a two on the danger scale. But then when they had men playing basketball with their shirts off their life, a four. That's a four on the danger scale. And I'm like, yeah, just let these men live their lives. Like they clearly want to join that danger scale with the basketball players. We need a follow-up episode. This is more than that.

SPEAKER_04 44:46

Because TLC, I think, is known for like 90 days for Beyonce, like say yes to the dress. I don't be known about this stuff.

SPEAKER_07 44:56

I know.

SPEAKER_04 44:57

This is the tea.

SPEAKER_07 44:58

I paid$5 for this episode, and everybody that comes to my house, like you gotta watch the FSA episode because it's fascinating. But yeah, MILFMANor, you have to also get MILFMAN. You have to get like a five to seven-day subscription to Discovery Plus to watch it through Prime worth it. Just you can binge it in seven days, I promise. I'll binge it in a day. Yeah. It's very cringy. It I think it's more cringy for me just knowing like my son and I are at that age. But like I can't look at anything. No, I'm sure that's all weird for you to watch. Oh my god. It's it's weird. But like being in your 40s is like the age where the dads want to fuck you and the children want to fuck you. Oh my god. It's gross. It's like you guys are getting there. You guys are getting there. And it is disturbing. You go to Tonic and you have Tonic and Des Moines. You go there for a drink. I hate Tonic. I will not go there because the 25-year-olds want to hit on me and the 45-year-olds want to have me. I'm like, I can't. I don't want either of y'all. I would like to hang out with my cat. Yeah, you know what? Sounds good. Line margarita with my kitty at home. Yeah. Watching French.

SPEAKER_04 46:12

Yeah, I need to watch mouth manner. I'm busy. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 46:15

I have to wash my hair. Watch mouth manner. Don't go to French. If you have a sponsor.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

I don't think I do. Okay, so the other thing that you brought up that I want to ask about is past lives.

SPEAKER_07 46:39

Oh yes. Okay. I was always afraid. I went to a psychedelic fair at the state fair with my girlfriend who is a true crystal and all the things. Like I want to be, I aspire to it. So I was like, she'll go with me. But at the state fair, they had this like I don't know, psychic fair. And I've always been really nervous.

SPEAKER_04 47:00

At the Iowa State Fair?

SPEAKER_07 47:01

Yeah, like in one of the buildings out there. It wasn't during the fair. They just had like buildings had like a psych fair. I gotcha. And I was like, I really want to go. I've always been really nervous about having like uh any sort of readings done because I both my parents died like within 10 months of each other. Yeah. When I was very, I was 34. I was your guy's age. I was 34 when both my parents. Oh, really? So I've never wanted to get any sort of readings done because I was like, I don't think I'm ready for them to tell me like if my parents are talking to me, I don't think I can emotionally handle. Yeah, that's heavy. Because at the same time that my parents died, I lost my best friend in a plane crash and he was turning 34. And I'm like, if any three of these people talk to me through some reading, I don't think I can emotionally handle it.

SPEAKER_04 47:46

Yeah, I would break down too.

SPEAKER_07 47:48

They were there at the psych fair and they had the readings and mediums there, and I'm like, I want to do it, but I not in not in this atmosphere with all these people. It needs to be a one-on-one where I can cry. Yeah, I'm the same life. I cannot ugly cry in front of anybody. Correct. So I was like, safe bet, we're gonna do a past life reading. That'll be safe. So I get my past life reading read, and it's only supposed to be like a 15-minute reading. She spent over a half hour with me. And my friend that was with me was like, oh my god, like she's so into detail. And it was crazy because she was like, She's like, I'm just feeling all this energy from you. You were like a really important person in your tribe. I was a Native American woman. I died at 33 of tuberculosis.

SPEAKER_04 48:29

Wait, I actually can see this about you. Is that weird?

SPEAKER_07 48:31

And the weird thing was if she's like, You were 33, you died a virgin of tuberculosis, but you were very important to your tribe. Like you were a leader in your tribe because I had psychic abilities that like I could put my hand on the ground and sense where the enemies were coming from, and I protected my tribe. And she goes, I'm getting all this stuff that you're you're documented in history. And so she goes, You need to Google like 1800s Utah, Arizona area. And this she gave me like different names, and she's like, It has to be documented in history. You are an important person from history that you were this later. And she goes, But your tribe did get murdered because you left to go attend to a pregnant woman that was giving birth. And while you did that, your tribe got attacked and died. What? And so I Googled it and I didn't know. And it had the area. I Googled the area and the time frame she said. And there was this 30-year-old woman named Lozen who had psychic powers, protected her tribe, and her tribe got murdered. And I was like, holy shit, this is me. I have children right now. This woman goes, Do you have any like dream catchers, turquoise? Do you have these things in your life? And I go, No. You need to have these things in your life. You need to have these things around you. I do. And I was like, okay. And then she told me this.

SPEAKER_00 49:57

I just got to do it.

SPEAKER_07 49:58

She goes, and you have the ability to also, because of your past life, and you could like sense this in your current life. I can train you and you can have these psychic powers here if you want me to teach you. You have the ability. And that stuck with me because I suffer from like, I don't know what you call them, night hallucinations, night.

SPEAKER_04 50:18

Yeah, night chairs.

SPEAKER_07 50:19

Yeah, really? I am awake, but psychologically, like I'm seeing things that are not there. And I'm my husband will say, like, you're looking past me, like you don't know me, and you're like, there's this person right here and there trying to attack me, and I'm sensing this, and I get all the and I'm like crazy in this time, right?

SPEAKER_04 50:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 50:38

And so I wonder, like, if she's telling me you have this ability, because like your mind is in a different hallucinative state when you're going through that. Yeah, I do have the ability and I don't know how to use it, and it's coming out through my my nighttime craziness.

SPEAKER_04 50:55

No, I I love that. I think that's why I am such a night owl because I'm very creative at night. I love being up at night, and I love like that time, and I have the same thing. I'll even I'll be laying in bed, and it's like I'll just be late. It's not the same thing, but it's like I'll be laying there and I'll just I'll hear like a radio playing in my head. And I'm like, I'm like, why is that over there? I think I think it's fascinating. I'm like, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

I think the reason that you don't sleep is because there is something that in your both waking life and your sleeping life, your uh subconscious life, that you are avoiding because something is trying to reach you because you're so insane.

SPEAKER_07 51:43

I feel that about myself. Like after my parents died and my friend died, like I wasn't sleeping. Like I I was for I was too I was too scared to sleep because that first night after my friend died in the plane crash, I went to his wife's house to like help her with the kids that they have. Because also his stepdaughter died that same day. There's four people in the plane. It was him, his stepdaughter, who was gonna be 16, his cousin, who was like 30, and then the pilot. They all died that day. I drove back to my hometown to stay with the wife and the other kids that were still there, and that night I'm sleeping in bed with her, and I saw him. He came up into the room, and I'm having one of my hallucinative dreams where I'm like, it makes me like scared and panicked, like my heart's racing. I wear an aura ring, I wear an Apple Watch, and I can see like my heart rate's up to like the hundreds when I'm shouldn't be because I'm in bed sleeping, but it freaks me out. So when my parents died and he died, like I was forcing myself to stay up to like three in the morning, four in the morning, because I'm like, I don't want to see them, it brings up too much pain. Like I would fall asleep and I'd wake up to my hallucination of like my mom being there, my dad being there. Maybe they're trying to reach me, it freaked me out too much. Like it wasn't welcoming to me, it was terrifying to me. Whereas my sisters be like, Oh, if I have a dream about mom or dad, it's like a visit from them and it's peaceful. And I'm like, No, I get like super anxious, terrified, like something's wrong. Yeah, and then I'm making myself an insomniac person of like not gonna sleep. Yeah, yeah, because I'm afraid I'm gonna have a night terror, I'm gonna have that, and I'm so scared of having it that I won't fall asleep because of it.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

I like I'm I am so fascinated by dreams. I've always been I analyze every dream. Like if you ask my aunt, I text her, I've always texted her for the last 20 years. Well, this happened, this happened. My recurring dream, there's always a witch that is present, and my aunt did a past life reading, and it was a witch that was like haunting her, and it was meant to be my mother, and my aunt and I had like the same shared experience, and it's like does it scare you? It still does, because I still have it, I do, but I would say over the last year and a half, which is crazy because I'm 35, so for 35 years I've had that same recurring dream where I'm running away from this witch. I don't know if she's there, I've never seen her, but in the last maybe yeah, year and a half, I can finally sense who it is, and then my mother has been present in these dreams. And I'm like, okay, now I've come to terms with things, or I've like done things in my waking life. I think a lot of what our our sleeping life is, is that we're terrified of what is happening maybe like so.

SPEAKER_07 54:50

I didn't enter therapy till I was 40 when I finally I lost my cat, and I was like, I finally hit rock bottom. Like, oh that's when you gotta get my friend. I lost my parents. Like I lost my parents, I lost my best friend, I lost my grandma, and then this all happened within four years. Lost both my parents, my friend, and my grandma, and then my cat fucking died. Your cat was like an extension of like your life. My husband was like, I think you finally hit rock by. I'm like, the fucking building is always bad. So yeah, so I started going to therapy, and I was telling her about like I've struggled with these, I don't know if you call them night terrors, night hallucinations. I don't know, because I am awake, but I'm like not coming a hundred percent too. Like, I am awake and I am aware of what's happening, but in my mind, I'm still seeing things that are not there, and it's always an attack, it's always something threatening. And she correlated it to my abusive relationship with my son's dad, because that's kind of where they ramped up, where like I'm physically getting up out of bed and going, something's coming at me, and I'm screaming, and I'm like, come save me, this thing's flying at me, and then whoever is with me when it happens will come in and be like, gen, gen, gen, and then I'm like coming to, and I look around, I'm like, Okay, the thing that was attacking me is starting to slowly fade away, and now it's just the cat tower that was sitting there. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 56:08

Do you want to talk a little bit about the abusive relationship? Sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 56:14

If you're comfortable, not such a open book, yeah. Um, yeah, I dated. Well, I don't know, it's not really that I dated him, it was kind of all bad from the start. I got pregnant at 17 by him. Um, but before I got pregnant, I already knew like this is a bad relationship. I don't want to be in this relationship, I need out. But I was 17, he was 22. Definitely preyed on me.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

Yeah, but it's that's so normal. Yes, it is, yeah. So in my mind, yeah, but it's silly.

SPEAKER_07 56:46

Like looking back, it's like everybody's like, Jen, you're such a freaking mouthy person. Like, you would never let any man, and then it's true, but you don't know what you're like, yes, anybody should walk out anytime, but until you're in it and you're experiencing it, it's a different thing. But I was terrified of this man, like correct waiting for me being 17 and dating him within three months. I I just like this is not healthy. I do not want to be with this person, but I don't know what's gonna happen if I break up with him.

SPEAKER_02 57:15

What drew you to this person? Like, was it like super passionate?

SPEAKER_07 57:20

No, I'm working at Hardons at the drive-thru. He came through and ordered and then invited me to go watch his band play. And I was like, Oh my god, a guy that plays in a band and can buy me beer. I'm 16 and a half. Like, please, like it was all superficial dump.

SPEAKER_04 57:42

I love music and beer.

SPEAKER_07 57:43

I love music and beer, and like this guy's just saying all the right things. Like, I'm clearly being groomed, but I don't know why being groomed. So we start like dating, but immediately it like switched where I knew like this is not healthy, but I was scared of him because he also was very much he was a self-mutilator, he cut himself, he would threaten to kill himself all the time, and he would say everybody leaves me, and I'm just gonna kill myself, don't leave me. And so, me at 17 being an empath, like my horoscope shit. So he's gaslighting the fuck out of here. Yeah, I felt like I don't feel safe with this person, I won't be with this person. But if I leave and he kills himself, that's on my 17-year-old brain. You can't live with that, and I can't live with that. So I need to help this person, I need to get this person in a better place. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 58:30

So I'm trying to see the whole I'm gonna kill myself bit, yeah. It's super played out.

SPEAKER_07 58:37

Yeah, like also go for it, bro.

SPEAKER_02 58:39

I under I understand like mental health and all that shit. I'm really, really exhausted at how many people have been in my life that have said the same thing to me.

SPEAKER_07 58:53

It's like they're using your emotions to it's gaslighting.

SPEAKER_02 58:56

Yes, it's gaslighting him to make me feel bad for them.

SPEAKER_07 58:59

I even hate the word gaslighting because I do too, but it is it's overused, it's overused because now I'm just like, bitch, take accountability.

SPEAKER_02 59:07

Like, it's not my job to save you. And how many women have we seen time and time again be like, I'm gonna save this person? Yeah, I'm gonna do this. Because you're that's always right.

SPEAKER_07 59:19

You're playing on my emotions of like, I don't want to be responsible for being another person that left this person and now he's suffering. Yeah, so because I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me today. I'm a fixer, I want to help, and I want to be there for people and support people.

SPEAKER_02 59:35

Today, if he were to like kill himself, would you still feel responsible for it? Would you? Genuinely, would you?

SPEAKER_07 59:44

I don't know that I would feel responsible for it, but to this day I still feel sorry for him. Yeah, because I think he definitely is mentally ill. So I went to break up with him, but I couldn't do it because I was afraid of him because he was physically abusive, so I didn't know what to do. But he was gonna move to Indianapolis to go be in a band, and he was gonna leave. And I was like, perfect, this is my way out. Once he leaves Iowa and he gets to Indianapolis, I'll wait it out two weeks, I'll text him, I'll call him, and I'll say, This ain't working, and now I'm safe because you're so far away. But what happened was my mother called me out. I'm like, You haven't had a period in so long. And I'm like, Oh, please, whatever. I'm not even tracking this. And then I had him go get me a pregnancy test, and it was positive. He's on the phone with the band in Indianapolis, and he's gonna leave. And I'm in his bathroom and I'm pregnant, and I came out and I said, like, hey, I need you to go get me another test. This one didn't work. I need you to get me the EPT, that's the only one I will trust because it is the error-proof test in my second team brain. I'm like, that is the one that at the commercial say is not wrong. He goes and gets it pregnant. I took three, four pregnancy tests, all coming back pregnant, and I'm like, shit. And then he called those people and said, I'm no longer coming into Indianapolis. Now I don't have my owl. Now I'm stuck. Like, now I'm stuck with this guy. I regret a part of me, regrets like I should have just never told him, and I would have just still had your life. Live my life. What kind of impacts would that put on my child to have never been told who his dad is and to not have that? I don't know if it's like in hindsight, is that better or worse? But at the same time, like raising my son with this person, kind of always in the background that did toxic things that wasn't really involved and emotionally hurt my son. Yeah, not any better. But then it's like maybe my son would have blamed me because he never experienced his bad dad. Well, you know, you don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:49

I I think it's a thing of it's like for your son, it's like maybe he never would have known his dad. Also, maybe he would have grown up in a life where it maybe would have been too idealic. Like maybe he was supposed to have this life for a reason. Yeah, you know, like I maybe the way you describe his son, he your son, he sounds fucking amazing. So I I don't think you did anything. He's all a compassionate kid.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:19

Yeah, he's I don't know. We're like kind of two peas in a pot. Yeah, like he's very empathetic and sweet and yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:26

The way you describe him, I'm like, I don't I don't think anything went wrong there.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:29

I think it worked out the way that I was like, like, look back on like so after I found out I was pregnant and I stayed, I very much in my head, because I was 17, everybody wanted me to get an abortion. I didn't have any support. And so what happened is like I basically got pushed further into his arms, into this toxic place because all my friends came to me. Everyone's telling you to do something cheerleading, and you're like, what about cheerleading?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

He's probably really great. You're probably just like crazy.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:02

Yeah, no, my friends were the opposite. Everybody hated him. They all hated him. They all hated him. They wanted me to never date him, they wanted me to abort, they wanted me to just go on with my life. Why didn't you? Why didn't I abort? Yeah. Um, like her and Hunter are meant to be besties. So it's a fair it's a fair question. It's a fair question.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:23

I've I've been through that. So, like, walk me through.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:26

Okay, why didn't I do why didn't I abort? So when it happened, I was absolutely terrified, but I never thought about abortion. I don't know why. I think as an adult now in my 40s, I'd be like, oh yeah, abortion's an option. But back then, I think I was still more religious and just hadn't experienced life and just thought like you can't do that. Yeah. And I wanted to do the right thing, and I actually looked into adoption. I met with like Bethany Christian Center.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:53

See, and that's crazy and I was like, That's crazier to me than abortion.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:59

I would be beside myself to have to To me.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:04

I think my mentality of like maybe part of my horoscope is like you fake everything is great and you're gonna make it work out. I think it's even if it's not.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:12

I think it's your cancer.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:13

Yeah, so like to me, it's like even when I found I was pregnant, I didn't lose my shit. I just go, Well, I guess I'm gonna have a baby and I gotta figure it out. Like, I've always been that way. My parents died, my friend, I'm like, well, I guess I'm gonna do this and I just have to figure it out. Well, I guess I'm on food stamps and I just have to figure it out. Like, I've never let anything stress me out. I'm always just like, here's the problem, I'll have to come up with a solution. So I got pregnant. I don't have support from anybody. I'm like, well, I guess I'm just gonna raise this baby on my own. The first thing I said to my son's dad when my father was pregnant, he goes, What do you want to do? I just said, Um, do you want to just run away and just go raise this baby? Because I was so terrified to tell my parents. My thought was never abortion, my thought was like, I can't disappoint my parents. Let's just leave. Let's just get in the car, drive. We'll have this secret life with a child and we'll never have to deal with it because I cannot disappoint my parents. Um, obviously, we didn't do that, but um, later he told me like he wanted to abort, but he didn't want the blood on his hands, so he was just trying to pressure me to do it, uh-huh. Which is a really shitty thing to find out.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:19

Like, what did he also can't believe you said that out loud. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:25

And looking back, like, so the first person I told, even before my friends or anybody, because when I found out I was pregnant, I was actually already like almost 12 weeks long. I was already almost three months pregnant when I found out. Like, dang! Yeah, like I was like, shit. Yeah, really? What do you do? Like, I'm still in the area where if I were to do that route, I could have, but like it wasn't a thought in my mind. My mind, I was like, Well, this happened for a reason.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:52

I think that honestly, like, you give me mom energy anyway. Like, I think that you were meant to be the mom.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:00

Give her, like it's just how I am. Like, whether it's mom energy or just like, well, I'm not gonna do that. You're nurturing. I never thought about like I'm gonna abort him. That was never a thought to me. It was more like, okay, I have to do this, and how am I gonna do this? So let's solution it. So my options were I raise this baby or I give him a better life and I go give him up for adoption. Um, so I told my mom first before even my best friends, and my mom made me take two more pregnancy tests to show it. And I'm like, at this point, my smart ass is like, oh wow, shocker, I'm pregnant. Only the sixth pregnancy test I've taken. Then I go to the doctor, and the doctor makes me take two more. I'm like, oh no, shocker, I'm oh shit, I might be pregnant.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:43

Still pregnant, like I am not shook at this point. I'm like, yeah, no fucking duh, I'm pregnant. We've showed it like five million times.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:50

I might be pregnant.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:52

And so my mom was like, I have to tell your dad, and I begged her. I go, please, please, please don't tell my dad. I go, mom, I'll put tampon wrappers in the garbage. Like, I'm like telling my mom, like, we can trick him. I will put wrappers in the garbage, and he'll know that I have a period and I'm not pregnant. Please don't tell dad, because I'm like terrified to disappoint my father. And I'm upstairs in my bedroom and I hear my mom that night telling my dad and just like breaking my heart hearing him down there, just so disappointed in me. It is hard. I'm a daddy's girl. Like, my dad is not a great person. Well, he's deceased now, but he wasn't a great person. I think we're all I think we're all a daddy's girl. I think we all are a little bit. And that next day, he was like, I am taking you to get an abortion. My parents are super religious, they do not believe in that. My mom is Catholic, she's a CCD teacher, goes to church all the time, she's in the choir. My dad, Lutheran, Sunday school teacher, church all the time, they're super religious. Their kids, not so much, but they are super religious. And so my dad coming up and being like, Everybody had left for school and work for the day. I'm at home with just my dad, and he's like, I'm taking you in, you're getting an abortion right now. And I'm bawling. I'm like, I don't know what to do. Damn, that's crazy. Because I'm 17 and I'm like, Do I have a right? Like, this is my parent. Like, I'm naive. Like, do I have a wrong? Also, what's happening right now? Can he just take me and I have to do this? And I'm freaking out, and I'm calling my son's dad. Like, my dad's taking me to get an abortion. I don't have any choice. Like, he's gonna make me go get an abortion. And then they have it out, and then like two days goes by, and I wake up and there's this like card next to my bed, and it's a precious moments Valentine's Day card.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:32

So inappropriate precious moments, so inappropriate for the time.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:36

But this is my dad, like he's an old ass farmer, never says I love you, doesn't hug, doesn't do anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:42

They express themselves in precious cards.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:44

I have this precious moments card that says happy Valentine's Day, so inappropriate for this situation, and then at the bottom it just says, Sorry, Dad. And I have it to this day because I'm like frame it. And my mom, I told my mom was dying of cancer in like 2016, and I told her, like, I still have the card dad gave me when he felt bad for trying to force me to get an abortion, and she goes, Fucking frame it. And I knew my mom had no idea about this card because if she was in charge of obtaining this shit, she would not have gotten a precious moment's Valentine's Day card to send your like, hey teen pregnant daughter, sorry I told you to have an abortion, we do love you. So I knew it was how it was like the one thing that truly came from my dad that didn't know how to handle it, and I'm like, I'm keeping this forever. Yeah, frame it, hang it on the loop. So yeah, I ended up obviously we went to the counselor to do adoption uh counseling, and sadly, like I don't know. Like I feel like I would have been more on board with like adoption, but that Christian Center just really turned me off in the way they treated me. Like I'm a very defiant person of like, I'll prove you wrong, how dare you talk to me that way? And we went, and every session was like, Do you think you deserve this baby? Do you think you can even give this baby what it deserves? You cannot. And they put me down over and over and over. And then all it did to me. All it did to me was build this fire of like, well, now I can. And how dare you say I can't? I am gonna keep this baby.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:19

And actually, this baby's gonna be the best fucking baby you ever saw.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:23

And you are gonna regret telling me this. Yeah. And the weird thing is, is my sister at the time, she was trying to get pregnant with her second child, and they she told her husband, like, we're gonna hold off because if Jen doesn't keep this baby, we have to adopt her baby. My sist my sister never told me this until years later. She's like, We're gonna we're gonna take Jen's baby and we're gonna raise him as our own. Very sweet, but in hindsight, I'm like, how dare you? Like, I want to be the aunt that's really the mom. Like, why would you do that to me? If I truly was giving my child up, you would have been on TLC! Like, if I was truly giving my child up for adoption, I don't want to give it to my family and be the weird family that's like your aunt just went to Christian school for nine months and came back and she's fine, and now your sister has been a little bit more than a few. Horrorist, the 1950s, like Jesus Christ. Um, but she held out, and that's why my nephew is exactly nine months younger than my son. Because she um when she found out I was gonna have the baby, I was gonna keep them. She and her husband were like, Alright, we can have our kidnappers.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:27

I I appreciate her wanting to do that for you.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:32

Sweet. It's very sweet. I'm not dissing that. You're your own weird. You're your own person. But she had two people in her life, neighbors, acquaintances, that said, Hey, heard your sister's pregnant. We can't get pregnant, and we would like her baby if she fucked up black market, open the trunk. Who wants to do that? Yes, let's get on the dark web, babe. Like, what a weird. This isn't the dark web. But here's the thing. Have you told Hendra this? Oh, he knows most of it. But here's the thing. This is a simple okay. So as much as the like, as much as Bethany Christian Center that made me feel like I don't deserve a kid and I should not have this baby, you're never gonna be good enough for this baby. My sister's neighbors that wanted to come in and adopt my child and asked her, like, we'll take her child, let us know. They were rich. He owned a company. Sure. Later, they ended up adopting another child. That dad pulled a gun on his family over drugs and went to prison. Money doesn't buy you happiness. You know what hasn't happened? That in my life with my son after this ratchet teen mom. So it doesn't matter. Like, if you have love and you have determination and you can make it work, you don't need the money. Money also makes things messy. Correct. So it's a good thing I did keep him. He could have been a drug lord family for a life. No. Like, you don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:54

Wait, that sorry, my cat's food is going off.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:59

It's like, you know, you think, like, oh yeah, I wasn't good enough. Like, I well, my argument to the the adoption center, whenever they would approach me with like, Do you think you're good enough to have this kid? Don't you think it deserves better? My answer was always, absolutely, this kid deserves better. I'm not good enough. But you right now, if they were to ask you, do you think you and your husband could give this baby the best life ever? Wouldn't you always say, like, no, somebody else could always do better? And my kid deserves the best. Yeah, I'm not perfect. And I told them that. I said, Nobody's perfect. I gotta work. I'm better at where I'm at in my life. If you ask me, do you deserve this baby or does somebody else as like the low self-esteem person I am? I will probably always say, like, no, this kid deserves way more than I can offer. I can never offer this child the thing I would want for them because I will always want more and better than anything I could ever give. Even if I am the fucking best person in the world, right? I will still always be like, this kid deserves better, I want the best. So that's not a fair assessment to ask somebody if they want to be able to do that. No, not at all. Because I will always be like self-sacrificing of like, no, I don't deserve this kid. This kid doesn't deserve this crazy ratchet ass family. It deserves something way better.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:10

Yeah. Wait, is it so? Do you know I'm adopted?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:13

No, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:14

I am adopted. I got adopted when I was like three days old.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:21

Um, so this has been like honestly really fascinating for me to hear. To hear the other side of it. Yeah, because it's like hold on, we have to take a pause.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:38

We're engineers, we live on this ranch, his parents live a mile away. We can't wait to bring this baby in, blah blah blah. I've never heard anything since, so I don't know, but then it's on their terms, right? Like, they have to be the ones that carry it full term. I got her pregnant. Like, I don't know. Oh my god, Jen! But in my mind, I have a mouthy ass, like, 10-year-old out there with thick ass curly hair, and she's got a little brother that she's bossing around. That girl's sassy as fuck on the farm. I'm like, that's probably my legend child from that child. Oh my god. Don't make me cry. But like, that stuck with me that that woman at church was just like, I wish that woman did end up getting pregnant eventually, and she adopted. She did both, so she ended up getting pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:30

Damn, I'm gonna cry right now. That is so much.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:32

That was my whole purpose of like, well, if I'm getting married to this man that doesn't want kids, and I know that, like, listen, my family's hot. Like, we can give you some good looking babies. Let's go, then I'm gonna give back to somebody that can. And you know, it's not about the money. People are like, don't you get paid for that? I'm like, I did, but I also wasn't getting paid from work, so it was like a wash. Like, I took two weeks off work, and they gave and I worked at that time, I worked at Wells Fargo, oh shit, we'll cut that in a tech. And I worked at the sleaze cake factory, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:11

So I was like, I was making like everything.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:14

Yeah, mills fargo. Cheesecake factory.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:17

You don't have to cut whatever.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:18

But like I was working at a cheesecake factory four or five nights a week, making over a hundred bucks a night, right? And I took two weeks off from that. In the end, I got like thirty five hundred dollars. Like, that's the same as what I would have made working my job and working waiting tables. So it wasn't about the money. Yeah, um, what I used the money for was because I had recently broken up with my six-year-long relationship boyfriend, not my son's dad, a different guy. Yeah, and I had bought a house. My house was actually in foreclosure. I was paying the mortgage, but because I was three months behind, because when we broke up, I didn't realize he didn't pay any of the bills. Like our agreement when we lived together was he paid all the bills, I paid the mortgage. We had a nasty breakup where he was like, I ain't paying any of the bills for two months to show her. So when I broke up with him, I owed back bills. So I drained my savings paying the back bills, pay the mortgage. I lost all my savings, so I I didn't pay my mortgage for three months, but then I was back to like, okay, I'm hustling, I'm living alone, I'm paying my bills, but I still have this back pay of three months. So my house went into foreclosure, and they were like, We'll modify your loan, but you have to put$3,500 up right now for us to save it. And that is the money that I got from donating my eggs, so I just put it right into that and saved my house. So it's like boom, boom, here you go. Now my son and I can stay in this house. I'm gonna bring in this new husband.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:46

I love it. I uh like I I've met um your husband a couple times, I've never met your son, but I can just tell that you guys have a very happy life together, and it makes me um very happy for you that listening to all of this, like you've found your silver shoulder gold lining in it all. Your gold like I had belly thing in it all.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:12

I had such shitty years to start, like the the four or five years I was with my sons that like it was just so chaotic. Like, yeah, um, he's diagnosed with like borderline disorder, which is pretty close to being like bipolar, but kind of worse. They're very difficult people to deal with, and um, it was constantly like trying to kill himself, pulling a gun out, pulling a knife out, leaving, and me chasing after him, like with our baby, and like just trying to keep everything calm and he would never work, he never had a job. I was working, he was maxing out my credit cards, calling other girls, and it's just like so unhealthy. Abuse after abuse, and just never felt like I remember the day that I finally left him, he told me, like, you're never gonna find anybody that will ever want to be with you. LOL. And I looked at him and I was like, I don't care if I die a single cat lady, if I never have to look at you again, I'm winning. Because that was just to that point. Like, I really felt like I'm not worthy of anything. Like, he just brought me down to where I was like, I finally do that, don't they? I will never date anybody again, and I will just die alone, and I'll die with cats. And you know what? It'll still be better than one more hour being with you because you're so toxic. And so like live the life I'm living now. I'm like, I am like you get there and you're like, oh, maybe I do deserve this. Maybe I do deserve a guy that respects me and lets me be my crazy self, and maybe I do deserve like a good relationship with myself.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:46

You love me because I'm so happy and amazing, and I make your life so maybe it's part of wonderful, but you are the worst person to me.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:55

Yeah, it gets to a where I'm like, okay, fine, my life is so awful that like now I just look at life like every day is kind of a blessing that you know, even all the like horrific losing parents, losing best friend, I'm like, at least I still have this. Like I always try to find that silver line, like at least have this glass half full, right? Mm-hmm. I'm glass half full too. Yeah, like I have to have that. Like, now that these people have died and we're sad about that, and that's hard to get over, and you don't really get over it, but also like would they want me to just wallow and be miserable? No, like I have to do that either. The only time I want somebody to wallow and be miserable is like when I die. My husband has to be a little bit more than a little bit. Yeah, you can be sad when I die for like at least one year, and then and then he can find love. I want him to find love, but you guys have to promise me she's not near as hot and cool as me. Yes, we're gonna be able to do it. And you just need to make sure that like he's happy, but he also knows like I was the better one.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:48

At least, at least acknowledge that I'm better and that I died.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:53

Like, he's fine, everything's great, he's alone, he's doing great, but he's settling for second best because he lost me at such a stage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:02

Like you're talking to me in your dreams, right? Yeah, you're sits, you're secretly thinking about me.

unknown 1:21:08

Definitely.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:10

Because I'm a little bit narcissistic.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:12

I mean, aren't we all? Um, okay, we're gonna wrap this up. The way I end it is I like to hear how people are keeping their lives whimsy.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:24

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:25

Which I feel like you have a lot of ways that you probably do this. But can you pick like one or two?

SPEAKER_07 1:21:31

I keep my life whimsy because I'm in the corporate world and I feel like I'm trapped there.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:36

Which I would love to hear how you keep your life whimsy in corporate because I try to do that every fucking time.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:43

I started a nonprofit that like partial proceeds go to like mental health and teen pregnancy because that's something I'm very passionate about. We are doing a concert this fall out at Winter Sidery, and I do art, I do paint and sip, I make jewelry. I just got into jewelry making just because I'm watching TV, and like what person doesn't just get into jewelry making it.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:10

Well, they do it eventually. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:12

So I paint, I make jewelry, I bought a selfie station so people could like rent my event planning and me just be I just want to be around all the events and be around the happy people and just rent shit out and be a part of the event.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:25

So outdoing stuff using your hands, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:29

I do pottery classes, those are fun, and then yeah, just like Chris and I um ran an art show for 10 years, and now I'm partnering with a new group that's doing an art show called The Middle of Nowhere in Madrid. And it's oh okay, I'm gonna do that. Yeah, it's Middle of Nowhere Art Festival, it's um at a winery called The Cellar.

unknown 1:22:53

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:54

Oh, I think the cellar off of gravel roads. Yeah, everybody. The whole entire concept is like most people like, why the fuck would you do that there? Because it's all farming community. But it's about bringing culture, black culture, urban culture to where it's not, to where it's not. So the musician that's performing is like a rapper. We have a fire dancer, like an Indian fire dancer.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:17

I know exactly where this is.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:18

And it's just like we've noted the like of application for it to be like, are you cool? We don't want any bigots. Like, you have to be open to like accept all forms of art. Yeah, like we're all inclusive, all accepting.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:32

It's a farm, but like don't be farm about it.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:34

Yeah, but like don't be don't be hating on anybody, accept all the art, accept my my friend KJ's like erotic movie art. Like, don't be judgy. Yeah, that's all we want.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:43

Don't say the tits are hot, have some like intellectual like commentary on the beautiful bodies.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:50

That's what we want. So that's where I stay whimsical, is just art world, like festivals, parties, all that.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:57

Yeah, backseat hussy.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:59

Backseat hussy, you got anything to add? You know, Jesus still hanging out.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:02

What whimsy are you doing lately?

SPEAKER_07 1:24:04

Me?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:05

Yeah, you're still here.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:09

Nothing.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:10

No, you are shut the hell up. You just did a paint and soap over Valentine's.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:15

I did, yeah. I don't know. I want everyone else to be whimsy. The world is so heavy. I just we need everybody to be whimsy. Yeah, just do whatever.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:25

That's why I keep asking.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:26

What I've been doing lately is just I'll dance in my kitchen.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:32

Oh, like Britney Spears with the knives.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:34

Yeah, just don't let your nips out. Just don't let your nips come out and don't get arrested. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:39

It's just me and Parm and Simon. But we'll just whims whimsically dance.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:46

I like.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:46

Yeah. You dance like only Parmesan Jones is watching your cat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:52

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:53

I'm all for that. Um what are you doing to be whimsy?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:57

So I'm really excited for this podcast to be over because I I'm a becoming loop mommy, which means I have bought a loop, which I've hooked up to a microphone, which has an amp, a speaker, I have a guitar, I have a keyboard, and I'm just gonna loop the fuck out of the band around. I am a renaissance woman.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:27

Can I be the stringer?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:29

No. Are you gonna sing the I mean a ball-da bada bang the bang?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:41

Are you gonna be the next headliner for the other?

SPEAKER_04 1:25:48

I probably need the house and practicing doing the I'm still like literally it's okay. Literally by the body and October.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:05

Well, you open for my music festival in October.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:13

If you can be a deadline, October five my ad hours do have a my first performance.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:22

I can't wait.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:23

You're gonna open for my day and you can like it now and now for our spotters. Thank you for being here. Again, I will say I'm a little bit of that video. I think you're amazing. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:53

We're all like Gemini rising finger tattoos.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:00

Finger tattoos and a break. Thank you.