Fire Horsing Our T*ts Off

TIME TO MOVE ON DELTA DAWN. The ladies finally have a proper catchup after many weeks in The Traitors Castle. Mallory is making big moves and giving controversial packing tips. Jackie reveals an embarrassing phase in her past that leaves us both in tears.  We dive into the latest conspiracies, Love Is Blind, and what is giving us life in these trying times. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Hi Mallory.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

Hi, Jackie.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Mallory is somehow in a sepiatone world right now. We're not sure.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

We don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

We don't know why.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

You don't know. It doesn't matter. You don't ask questions you don't know, you don't need the answer to is the answer.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

It's fine. It's your vibe. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

It's my vibe. It's my vibe.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

It's like a cool old Instagram filter that I used to make all my. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm going for here.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

I love it. Oh man. How are we, friend?

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Doing, you know, I'm doing. How about you?

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Doing. I feel like we have a lot to catch up on.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

We have a lot.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

We've been doing a lot of traders' recaps and we have not had a proper show. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

We've not had a proper Kiki and we got a lot going on. But I do think we should start with 90s country music.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Yeah, we need to get the vibes. My vibes here are not. I'm trying to like Phoebe Buffet, just trying to get the negative vibes out of my own.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

This song isn't gonna make you feel good. But you know you know what? Just add add to the pile. Okay. So I you have to give me permission to share my screen and then I'm gonna see the video.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Okay, did it.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Okay. All right. So now I don't even know if this is an actual video. It may be too old before videos were made, and it might just be perfect. Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

It would go with the theme of today so far. Yeah. Ancient times. I mean, your your song last week was a bop, or last kiki was a bop.

SPEAKER_03 1:47

It was. This one's a bit more I can't.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Oh, oh, okay. Oh, Tanya Tucker.

unknown 1:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

I see a picture of a beautiful young lassie, much in a sepia tone as you are. Maybe that's why.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

Maybe that's why. Maybe that's it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

You're giving very, you know, what is this?

SPEAKER_03 2:06

70s? Tanya Tucker? 60s?

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Okay. So now it jumps right in. So let's do it. Get ready. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

I'm ready.

unknown 2:16

Let's check it.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

I can see your mouse moving.

SPEAKER_04 2:19

Oh, look, here we go. What's that very? And I can say forty one. That is too called baby.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Oh, he murdered her. So is she a whore? Is she a hooker?

SPEAKER_04 3:43

Can't hear me, can you?

SPEAKER_02 3:45

That was that was very, very country. That was very, very, very kinda.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

That was that was alright. Alright. So so Delta, Delta Dawn, you know, a traveling salesman came through and swept her off her feet, and so she's ready to get married, and he never came back for her. So she's the crazy lady that for 30 years has rolled her suitcase out to the curb with her flower on, waiting for him to come get her.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Oh man. I thought Mansion in the Sky was like, I thought he like murdered her. Took her to his mansion in the sky. He didn't murder.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

He murdered her heart. He murdered some murdered that ass. Girl, it's time to move on. It's time to move on.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

I know. Ain't nobody.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Come on, honey.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

No. We need uh we we need to introduce her to Goodbye Earl, you know?

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Yes. Oh, poor Delta. I wonder if she's still out there waiting for him.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

I know, she might be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

She might be, honey. He ain't coming.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

He ain't coming, sweetie.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

He ain't coming. We got Delta. We got who was the last one?

SPEAKER_03 4:55

The last one was Reba.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

No, what was her what was the song? Uh Fancy. Yeah. Fancy. We got Delta and we got Fancy.

SPEAKER_03 5:02

Fancy.

SPEAKER_02 5:04

All the ladies. All right. I can't wait to I can't wait for who uh who I'm gonna introduce to next time. I can't say I would bop to that one, but you know.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Yeah. No, it's not a bop so much as like, you know, fairy tale. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Every young lady should hear. Don't be a Delta Don. All right. Well, here we are. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Here we are. So I think that's an appropriate way to start this episode.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Or if it's meant to be, then what? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

I was like, where are you going with that? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

All right. Let's catch up.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

Let's catch up. So we are both fire horsing our tits off, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yeah. We are.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

So we have we are booked and busy, honey. We are headed to Milan.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Ciao, ciao.

SPEAKER_03 6:05

Ciao, Bella.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Can't wait. Can't wait.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

The world is gonna shine like we've had too much wine. And it's not because we're in love. It's gonna be because we have had too much wine.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Because we're drunk. It's gonna be because we're drunk. Because we're gonna be drunk. Yep. I cannot fucking wait. I'm so excited. Mal and I have been talking about this forever, and finally we were just Texan, and we were just like, fuck it, and just book it.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Let's just do it. Let's just do it.

SPEAKER_02 6:41

Let's just do it. The world is ending. Let's go to Milan.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Let's go to Milan.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

And have some pasta and some wine.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Yeah. As far as I know, we're not at war with Italy right now. With Milan. No. Should we continue to be at peace with Milan? Then we'll our trip will will continue.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

We'll continue. Yep. We were supposed to go away next weekend to nice beach vacation on Cyprus.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

No, we're not doing that.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

No, no. No, we're not. That was so that one cancelled. And I I had to take a moment this week because the week before I was shitting on everyone on the internet who was like, Do you think my all-inclusive vacation to Puerto Vallarta is still on? Do you think I can still go to that wedding in Mexico? And I was like, You need to unpack your bags, idiot. Way to be dumbass. You dumbass. And then this week I was like, Do you think my beach vacation to the Middle East is still happening? Or I don't think so. I don't think so. So whoopsies. So, you know, that humbled me.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

It's a little bit of a world war, you know?

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Yeah. It's just they have much bigger issues than my vacation. But um, yeah, hopefully we are still going to Italy by May. You never know.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Yeah, you never know. Ears open. Never know. Who's who knows what's happening? You know, who knows? I saw this meme thing meme on the internet that I've been thinking about, and it was like, if we're gonna get nuked, could they please do it in the morning? Because I don't want to go to work, work all day, come home, and then get nuked. That would just piss me off. That would piss me off. To die at the end of a work day? That's horseshit. It's not the way you want to go.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

That's personal. That's personal.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

That is personal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Do it in the morning.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

With the time differences, I think it probably would be in the morning, you know.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Yeah, yeah. You would be good. Not much funnies to talk about in the world. So we'll we'll just talk about the funnies in our lives. What's going on with you, Matt? What's uh what's something uh you move you move fire horse, and then I'm very proud of you.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

I've might say fire horse really hard. Two weeks ago, my husband and I decided to move across the street, basically. And we we decided on a Monday, we looked at a house on a Wednesday, and last week we were under contract. So here we go. Here we fucking move.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Amazing. Mallory texted me literally after we wrapped recording an episode and was like, hey, I gotta talk to you about something. I was like, we literally just talked for two fucking hours, but yeah, okay. Let's talk about it. I guess I'll talk to you. I guess we'll talk some more. And she was like, I've been thinking, blah blah blah blah blah blah. And I was like, do it, just do it, just fire horse it. She's like, but I hate moving, I hate change, I hate everything. I was like, just fucking do it. Just do it. It's true. You did it.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

So right, and I did it. I did it.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

You done did it.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

First, first house we looked at. Well, we only looked at one other. So we looked at two houses. First one, boom. We have a 60-day close so that we can try to sell our house in the meantime, which means this market next week. So mama's Wow.

SPEAKER_02 9:53

I'm busy clearing house.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

We we closed on, or we not closed, but we we uh signed the contract Thursday night. Friday, I ordered the pod. Pod got here Monday. It's now Wednesday. Over the weekend, my husband's like, would you mind if I took the kids out of town for a night? I'm like, wouldn't I mind? It sounds like the greatest thing I've ever heard. So, you know, I took some performance-enhancing drugs on Saturday and went ape shit. I squirted some of what's his name? What is that cyclist, Lance Armstrong's blood into my veins? And I went ape shit.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Wow, you tested out of the uh the packing Olympics. You were you were you were the team, what's the Olympic team that like can't be Russia? It's just like the team of no name countries.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

The lost toys.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

The team of lost toys. That's me. Yeah. Amazing. How many bags how many bags did we did we end with?

SPEAKER_03 10:59

So we we donated nine bags of toys and clothes and shit from the upstairs, which is just the bedrooms and the and the bathroom.

SPEAKER_05 11:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

And then 15 bags of trash were taken to the dump. 15.

unknown 11:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Just from the upstairs.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Did you want to like I I've moved many a times now, and every time this happens to me, I want to just punch myself in the face for having that much stuff.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

100%. Just like, well how could you fucking do this?

SPEAKER_02 11:32

You idiot.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

One time I I go I take my daughter to Michael's a lot because she loves to craft. Like she is a crafter deep in her core. And like I I blacked out one time when I was there and allowed her to convince me that she needed the biggest bag of cotton you've ever seen so she could make stuffies. So there was a period of time where she was just taking whatever random sock she found, stuffing it with cotton, tying it off with a hair tie, and drawing a little face on it.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

So horrifying.

SPEAKER_03 12:00

Her bedroom, I go in the top of the closet. There is what has, you know, historically been used as our barf bucket, is filled with cotton. Just a huge bucket of cotton. And I was like, well, this is going in the trash.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Here's what Eliza's not doing. Heroin. Gambling.

SPEAKER_03 12:22

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

She's doing cotton. She's doing cotton. She's doing it hard.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Yeah. She's going hard in the paint on cotton.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

I'm excited for you to shoot up your you know steroids this weekend. And what do they use?

SPEAKER_03 12:36

What is what is the what did Lance Armstrong take?

SPEAKER_02 12:39

What did Lance Armstrong take? What did Lance Armstrong take? Here we go. Second search thing on Google. EPO testosterone cortisone testosterone cortisone. Oh, that's it. HGH, human growth hormone. That's the one.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

Yeah, I need to get my hands on that.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

You gotta get some HGH and be fucking on the roof, cleaning the chimneys.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

Yeah, totally. We Brandon took the kids, they left at 10. I had the inspection at the new house at 3. From 10 to 3, I just went ape shit. Like fully ape shit. Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

That's the best feeling. That's such a high. How many cigs did you rip after you were done?

SPEAKER_03 13:21

Oh my god. After or during or all of it. Yeah. Brandon's like, have you been smoking? I'm like, nah.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Don't fucking worry about it.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Don't you fucking worry about it? Go get in the pod. Look in the pod and ask me again.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

I will say one of the joys of this week. So Mallory, I'm still on this page that Mallory and I are in that was from the neighborhood we lived in where it's like a buy nothing trade kind of group. And I rarely go on Facebook anymore, but I had to go on to look up something for something in the area. And I just saw Mallory trying Posting. Posting your entire home, but especially a post where you're trying to hustle off a bunch of Kendra Scott jewelry.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

People were into it. Are you kidding me? That's the one I got the most comments on. You did.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

It was just like a box with like mismatching earrings and like just stuff thrown in there, and it was like Kendra Scott, everything must go. And I was like, oh, she's in it.

SPEAKER_03 14:20

She is really skipping rid of everything. You know that old skit that used to like when we would have like one reel a year on the internet that was like Yegabom, Yegabom, Yeger Bomb. Yeah. That's like that's exactly how I was. Not now, Chief. I'm in the fucking zone. Like I was in the fucking zone.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

She was posting everything.

SPEAKER_03 14:41

Everything. And I like did a curb alert, and then people would be like, I'm interested in this or that. And I'm like, great, go check the curb to see if it's still there. I'm not doing this like you come pick it up and we agree.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

It's on the curb. Come take it.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

Oh my god, the Kendra Scott jewelry one sent me. I have a screenshot of it. I will post it on the Instagram because it made me laugh.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

You just threw it in a box and you were like, Here, just fucking take this shit.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Absolutely.

unknown 15:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

All dangled. You know what? It was a little bit offensive how many people were like, my teenage daughters love Kendra Scott. I'm like, bitch, I still wear Kendra Scott. All right.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

My daughters love to play dress shop. They'll take it. Okay. I mean, I would have taken those earrings out.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

I mean, that's like a$50 necklace. Okay, sure. Richie Rich. Yeah. Have your kids play with it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That was like this accounting firm I used to work for. One of the guys that worked there was a huge douche trying to make partner there, and everyone hated him, but that's beside the point. One of the partners who worked there. Neither here nor there. One of the partners who worked there asked him if he was trying to sell his Tahoe. Then he drove every day and he was like, Yeah, I actually am. Why? And the partner's like, Oh, great, I need a beater for my 16-year-old son.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

He called it a beater.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

The guy was so offended, and I was like, put it in my veins. That's what I like to see, you know?

SPEAKER_02 16:07

Yeah, that was you. You were selling beater jewelry on uh the Buy Nothing group.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

I know, I know. People took it though. I'll tell you what, I had a real ugly rug that this sweet old man came and picked up, and he's like, I promise I'll make a nice home for it. I was like, Oh, Earl, look at you, little sweetheart.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Earl. The one my husband, when we were moving this last move that he could not, he still can't believe. I was in a very heavy Marilyn Monroe phase in college. I was just obsessed.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

In college. What do you mean? In college. It's really interesting.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Not like not like a Backstreet boy's phase. Not like something current.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

No, Marilyn Murray. It's really difficult, you know what I got me.

SPEAKER_03 17:15

That's like I was I went through a rat pack phase in high school.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

It was uh it was a growing, it was it was like a Sinatra to a rat back to a Marilyn Monroe was the whole the whole thing. Yeah. So I was in a heavy Marilyn Monroe phase in college.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Oh my god, I'm crying.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Here's what I wasn't into.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

Right popularity.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Being cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Oh man, okay. Well, this isn't gonna go any better for me. So I was a very heavy Marilyn Monroe phase, and I collected Marilyn Monroe wine bottle.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

What is a Marilyn Monroe wine bottle? There was a winery that released yearly Marilyn Monroe wine. I collected every year. Did you drink it? No.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Wait a minute, and you kept these until last year. Twenty years.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

I moved them ten times around this country. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't take it. I can't take it. Oh my god. We're both dressing. I can't believe that an entire episode on this.

SPEAKER_03 19:09

We need an entire episode on this. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

I loved those bottles. So I had specific years. So I just put it up as I was just like you in that phase of like I'm putting fucking everything up. And finally I was like, you know what? I'm not putting these bottles in storage for how many years? And I'm not moving them to Poland. Like it's just time to part.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

That the Marilyn Monroe wine is not one that has to age. You know?

SPEAKER_00 19:35

It's aged. Aged five.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

It's probably shouldn't. There's some wines that you have to drink within the first or two second year of a big day. And I'm gonna guess that Marilyn is that such wine.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

So I just put them up and put the whole setup. I think I had six or seven of them or eight. Oh my god. And I was like, a hundred dollars for all of them. They're collectors, okay?$100. And by golly, I had a buyer. I had a buyer, a 60-year-old man.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

I was about to say, what is gay? Is he was he gay?

SPEAKER_02 20:11

No, he couldn't have been more excited. He came, he gave me a crispundo, he had a box for them. He said, I have I have all the other years. I'm gonna add them to my collection. I have shelves with lights for them, and I'm gonna add them to the rest of my girls. And he sent me pictures of them in his house.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

Oh, you gotta post that.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

You gotta post that. I'm so happy that they went to the right owner. And Michael was like, Did you just get a hundred fucking dollars for those wine bottles?

SPEAKER_03 20:40

You know what? You know what? I I think I might have just now, in this moment, started believing in karma. Okay? I really think I have. The universe brought you and this man together because you had just the bottles, just the girls he was missing.

SPEAKER_02 20:55

I had just the girls I needed, and he was so fucking excited. And he sent me pictures of them up on their shelves, and I was like, I feel good. They're in a good place. They're in a good place.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

This is amazing.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Send Mallory a picture of my girls.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

Oh my god. This is so good. I I couldn't love it more. I could not love it more. No, I think you should have kept them.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

No, they're in a they're in a much better home. I had 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008.

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Those are the good, those are the good years.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

A good year for Maryland. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

For my heavy Maryland years.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

Oh my god, I love it so much.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

You know what? We're in this weird space. Let's let's go to a new segment on the pod that we're gonna call Conspiracy Corner.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

I am anyone else like becoming a conspiracy theorist, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:04

I'm starting to get you. I'm starting to get you.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

I I I'm turning, I'm seeing things I haven't seen before.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

You know, your eyes, you're you're seeing for the first time. This is why. This is why. If anyone out there, listener, would like to write us little catchy theme songs for some of these segments. I I would love to not use AI. So I know.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

It's hard to tell from how often we sing, but we are not classically trained musicians, you know.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

I would love the a professional, if if you would be so guy.

unknown 22:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

But yeah, conspiracy corner. I mean, I don't even know where to start. Because as you said, I feel like what was conspiracies is now just truth.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

It is. And this week has been an embarrassment of riches for conspiracies. We have a lot going on.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

We got a lot going on. Mallory and I are going to narrow in on the hottest one right now, which is celeb cloning.

unknown 22:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

Celebrity cloning something.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Something's happening. Something's doing. We got first one up I've sent to Mallory multiple times. It's been probably all over everyone's socials. Is this like Selena Gomez clone thing? Which is basically this theory that Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. I'm probably gonna butcher this whole story, but Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber had a baby. I don't know. Years ago. And that baby was supposed to be sacrificed by the like, you know, the the the powers that be. Selena Gomez said, no, no, sacrifice me instead of my baby. So they gave the baby to Courtney Kardashian.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

I don't think I knew all of this.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

So that baby is actually Rain, who is called Rain Dissick, is actually Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber's baby. And then they sacrificed Selena Gomez. This was the time that she kind of disappeared and said she was.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

Why why did she why did anybody need to be sacrificed?

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Because the the like the now that we you know the Illuminati powers, Epstein Files, uh yeah, we want to sacrifice children and drink their blood. And I mean, again, yeah, not that not true, not not true. So that's what this all leans into, and she said, no, sacrifice me instead. And so it was the time around the time that she kind of disappeared and was supposed to be in rehab for like her lupus, don't let front of the show, Katie, hear that, but lupus and her health issues, and then she came back, and it was around the time of her like kidney transplant and all that stuff. And they have said that that Selena that came back after all that is the clone Selena, and now looking at her, I mean she does look like a different person. She talks funny, she's with Benny Blacko, which right that's she's taking pictures with his feet. Okay, she's not only taking pictures with his feet. I sent you a video, I don't know if you've watched it, where she's kissing his dirty ass feet. And I am someone who likes a certain type of man's foot, but those dirty feet are disgusting. The bottoms of them were like black, and for her to lay a little kiss on them was honestly set me so I I couldn't, it was so it's just too much, just too much. They also are now building off of this by saying that hold on, they somehow soul swapped Sigourney Weaver into Selena Gomez's new clone body, and there's been like videos of like Sigourney Weaver talking and now yeah, and now the way Selena Gomez talks, and they have the same kind of facial expressions and voice. But here's the problem with that Sigourney Weaver is still alive, right?

SPEAKER_03 26:08

So So who's in her body?

SPEAKER_02 26:12

So who's still has anyone talked to her? It's a big one. It's a big one.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

And so I need to ask, what percentage level do you believe this?

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:27

I I feel like Nope, just give us a percent. We don't need the conjecture.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

I the whole thing I don't believe Sigourney Weaver is in her body.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

Oh, but that's where you draw the line.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

That's where you draw the line.

SPEAKER_03 26:43

Okay, that's jumping the shark.

SPEAKER_02 26:45

You know, I have not personally read the Epstein Files, nor will I ever, but I have heard a lot of things. And I would say after hearing things, I'm gonna say 30%. I 30% believe this, this conspiracy theory.

unknown 26:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

That it could be plausible.

SPEAKER_03 27:02

But why why did she need somebody to come and clone her? Why wouldn't they just say she died in some fashion?

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Because they still want to make money off of her. Because she's still she's gonna make money for someone. And it's also possible through these theories that Benny Blanco is like a handler for the clone, which is how Selena Gomez is even with Benny Blanco.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

I see. Angles.

SPEAKER_02 27:27

What percentage do you believe this theory, Mallory?

SPEAKER_03 27:31

Zero.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

What? Not even a one percent? Not even a one a one? No.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

No.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

All right, all right, all right. That one, that one I started off hard. How about Jim Carrey?

SPEAKER_03 27:43

Jim Carrey. Now that one, I'm more in the like 50 to 70% range. That is crazy. There's just so much muddying the waters, too, because like some guy came out and said that he Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:59

Yes, a makeup artist, Alexis Stone, an FX special effects makeup artist, is trying to say like it was me. So for those who don't know, Jim Carrey showed up at this French award show. Yeah, it was in France.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Yeah, something, and accepted an award. His speech was all in French, and then he did an interview after saying how he'd practiced for months and months and months to get his French down. And whoever this person is that they're interviewing as Jim Carrey is not Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Yeah. Doesn't even look like uh-uh.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Doesn't look like him, doesn't talk like him. Jim Carrey has brown eyes, this person has blue eyes. Jim Carrey is left-handed, this person's signing autographs right-handed. Like, yeah, I don't know who this person is, but it's like someone has a Jim Carrey mask on their head.

SPEAKER_05 28:46

Exactly.

unknown 28:46

Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

And it's still like Jim Carrey's camp is still saying this is Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_03 28:52

Yes. Jim Carrey's camp said it was him. This makeup artist said it was me. It's like, and then Jim Carrey came out with some like Truman Show style video. Really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't see that. It's sort of like, you know, that weird ass Kevin Spacey video from a couple years ago where he's just like pounding the desk with his ring after all the stuff. It was like that. It was very creepy.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

That's my only hope is this is some sort of like walking Phoenix style advertisement for a movie or some weird shit.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

Because like I another funny take I saw online was like, oh yes, Jim Carrey, who hasn't worked in years, like they're cloning him and like or like body snatching and replacing him, like for what? You know, like yeah, I don't know. I think it's yeah, I think it's this one is believable to me because it could be some kind of joke or some kind of like play on something, you know. Yeah. Or or could even be like, you know, there's speculation this is like gearing up for like a sequel to the Truman Show, and it's about how we're like so invested in these celebrity lives, and we watch them like they're in a box, and you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

What if all of that, what if it is not for a movie, it is not a makeup artist, and it is not some sort of joke, and we go a couple months down the road, and that Jim Carrey, whoever that is, shows up again, and they're just like, This is Jim Carrey. Now we're showing it.

SPEAKER_03 30:28

I don't know. I think I think then uh they would I would still just assume they're playing the long game, you know. I'm never going to jump to you know body snatching. Yeah. I that's the first place I jump. You started Illuminati. I never get there.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

I work my way back from Illuminati.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Like Bethany Frankel comes from a place of yes, you come from a place of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Yeah. So okay. Yeah. All right, we have different journeys, but we're gonna get there. We're gonna meet you know somewhere along the line. Yeah. So that's our conspiracy corner. Is if you have any other celebrities who you think have been cloned, send them our way.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:07

I mean, Barbara Streisand cloned her dogs. Why couldn't we clone a celebrity? Okay, just table that one. Table that one. Oh my god. All right, well, let's end this one on a high note. We're really fire horsing. What's what's our jingle gonna be for this one? What's giving us life?

SPEAKER_03 31:28

Give me, give me life.

SPEAKER_02 31:30

Give me life. What is giving you life this week, Miss Mallory, besides human growth harmon?

SPEAKER_03 31:39

Well, we did have a little bit of a setback on Monday, which was that it snowed again. And gotcha myself. Yep, got me. Gotcha. 70 over the weekend, then it snowed again, two-hour delay at school. But the snow has melted, the sun is coming out, and that is really being able to be outdoors with sunlight is giving me life. Letting the kids play outside again. It's like I forgot we had a backyard. You know, the kids are liking it, I'm liking it. Just being outside in the sunshine is huge for mental health. Who knows?

SPEAKER_02 32:13

I that was literally mine. I agree. Same thing here. It got to 40, 50 degrees, the sun came out, I was walking my dog. I was like that Leonardo DiCaprio meme where it's like him and the dog walking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, if you, you know, like hanging out with us, we love hanging out with you. Come come on over to our Instagram at Akiki Catchup. We post stuff here and there.

SPEAKER_03 32:44

Sometimes. Sometimes we yeah, when our families aren't sick and we don't have too much work to do.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Yeah, we uh one of these days Mark Zuckerberg will let Mallory have access to that account.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

So Mark Zuckerberg, i.e. Jackie, will not tight to that Instagram account.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

Never let me love you to have access to it.

unknown 33:06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

So Mark, why do you make it so hard? Damn it. Damn it.

SPEAKER_03 33:14

Uh why, Mark?

SPEAKER_02 33:17

Yeah. Like and subscribe. Give us five stars. Yeah, comment, let us know what you want us to talk about. We're gonna post stuff, questions. Yep. We'll post. We have lots to post from this episode. We have celebrity cloning, we have other stuff. It's gonna be a lot. It's gonna be a lot to comment on. So please reach out. Yep. All right, Mallory. So good to catch up.

SPEAKER_03 33:45

See you as always. See you soon.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

See you soon. Bye.

unknown 33:49

Bye.