Easter Break Catchup: Polish Hookers, Pinterest Fails & Summer House "Scamanda" Updates

SHE'S A LAAAAAADY. We are back from our Easter Break hiatus and ready to catchup on all things!  While Jackie has reached new found fame in Poland, Mallory has reached new parenting lows in Del Ray. From x-rated roadside attractions to apocalyptic beach fish, our holiday's were anything but boring.

Reality TV drama waits for no one so we wrap things up with a breakdown the latest updates in the Summer House and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. 

So welcome new listeners, and howdy OG's, we hope this episodes got something for everybody :)

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Hey Jack, how you doing? I mean, we are both apparently hanging on by a thread here. By a thread. Mallory's looking radiant. Thank you. Like I just crawled out of a sewer. And here we are. You know?

SPEAKER_02 0:20

We you usually look like a shining goddess and I look like a gutter person. So today it's a roll reversal, you know? Today it is a roll reversal. Maybe one day we'll both have makeup on at the same time. One day. Maybe one day.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Yeah. Not today.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Today's not that day.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

It's not that day. Nope. It is not that day. No. Just a little housekeeping. Welcome to all our new listeners, all our new Skavanda Bravo summer house listeners. Yes. We are happy to have you here. And we're sorry we ghosted you for two weeks. So Yep.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

It was spring break. It was Easter. Jackie was sick.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

You know, we had a lot happening.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

A lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

We had a lot going on. We had a lot going on. It's not, you know, the best host hostess behavior. But we're happy here.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Yep. And believe it or not, this is not our primary money-making business. I know it seems like this operation would just funnel it in, but no. No. This is this is secondary, unfortunately. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

It's really a money-losing operation, but you know, yeah, you know. The pain is in is in our heart.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Yeah. I mean, it depends on how you define losing. You know, are we getting money? No. Are we spending money? Yes. But you know, I think we could cook the books to say what yeah, what we get from it emotionally and spiritually, you know, priceless.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Really priceless. Priceless.

unknown 1:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

And you're the account, you're the accountant here.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

So you can I literally can't put a price on it. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Speaking of today, my husband was like, file our taxes. I was like, right, we do. Do you got four days, girlfriend? Four days. It ain't gonna be four days. I ain't gonna be tomorrow. No. So we're gonna have about two days. Yeah, that's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Gonna begin to be golden.

unknown 2:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Oh my god. Speaking of, I have my daughter's Polish birthday party tomorrow, K pop Demon magazine. Love it. We just put together put together booty bags. Is that like one of the play places here, which is how they do it? You pay them, they do everything. Set it up, decorate it, cake, food, kids play, they take it all down, bing bang, boom. So but I put together these little like Eva's favorite American snacks bags, and I imported via Amazon. Nice. Have you seen my stories? I just posted out my stories. No. Okay. What what three I was fighting for my eyes.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

What three snacks do you think I put in there? I mean, I know she loves gummies. I know she loves some kind of gummy.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

You are crazy gummy. That was a fourth edition.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

I'm gonna guess like a Starburst gummy or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

It was it was the Kirkland brand gummy that we actually moved here with us that expired a week ago.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

And we had a lot left. So those are in there. You know. Yep. I'm gonna say some kind of chocolate. No chocolate. These are no chocolates.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

There isn't chocolate. There's a chocolate cookie of sorts. Oh, and American brands. American brands we can't get here. Oreos, we can get here.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

You can get Oreos there. We can get here. I mean, as she is as refined as a mint Milano. There it is. There it is. Nancy. But a Milano. A Milano. Okay. Oh, I love a Milano. Double stuffed. Ooh. Put in my veins.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Put it in my veins. My dad, God Russ's soul, used to work at Peppage Farm. It was his last job. Oh, really? But I like to say he put the smiles on the goldfish. Oh, definitely.

unknown 3:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

I mean, yeah. So we're a pepperage farm family. Love that.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Love that. So then I'm gonna have to go goldfish as well.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Goldfish. Obviously. Goldfish. Yeah. And a cool ranch Dorito. It's our favorite flavor. They don't have it here. They don't have it.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

Cool Ranch. It is the best. It is the best. It's by far. They briefly did a collaboration with Taco Bell where there was a cool ranch taco. And that was money. That was good. The Nacho Ranch. Yeah, just Nacho Cheese is just doesn't quite hit the same way. I feel like the cooler ranch are like crunchier for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

They're fresh. They're zipy. They got a zip. Yep. Get ready, guys. Get ready.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yep. Get ready to have all these bread dye 47 and whatever the fuck else in your veins.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

The gummy bears are like the Kirkland brand. I forgot what brand it is, but it's like organic gummy bears. Oh, yeah. Right. The ingredients are basically just the the ingredients you have in your regular gummy bears here. Right, right. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's organic.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Yeah, something was grown somewhere, you know. We don't know what what was done to it after, who knows. But yeah. It's none of my business. Not our problem. Well, we decided to go to brunch this morning, which, you know, fucking idiots over here. What who why do you think you can go to brunch on a Saturday on the first nice weekend? That's dumbest shit I've ever heard. So a masochist, yeah. My three-year-old started out on one this morning, just like we, I I ultimately had to take him up to his room and sit with him and force feed him a granola bar or canola bar as he calls it, because he was refusing to eat and just was like a menace to society, like just absolute menace. Then he dresses himself, and this is I'm gonna show you. Hopefully, you can see this picture. That would be a Saja boy outfit purchased on Amazon with ray boots. Okay. We're on the he's not even dressed cute enough to where you're like, if he's being a menace out, you can be people would look and be like, oh, that's okay. He's like dressed like a little cute man, it's fine. You know, he's dressed like a homeless person who loves Saja Boys. So we go to this restaurant, sit outside, he's screaming the whole time. He doesn't want to sit outside. Then we get outside, and they give us a table that's like a coffee table, like an outdoor coffee table with outdoor chairs around it. And I'm like, Well, this is gonna be. And yeah, it was. It was. They uh he was screaming, yelling. Brandon went and got toys out of the car for him to play with, and he was like, but these toys. There, there's like green turf everywhere on the ground, so they're both just doing rolls, knocking servers over, you know. So finally they eat first. Yeah, they the kids eat first. Our food hasn't come, hasn't come. Finally, Brandon's like, I just gotta go. Like, I'm gonna take him to the car, just get the food to go. So I'm like, we gotta get the get our food to go, whatever. So then me and my daughter, after we pay and get the food to go, are leaving, and like I can't find the car. He's like, Oh, yeah, we went to the playground, but it's close. It was like a 15-minute walk with and I'm holding huevos rancheros and chiliquiles in a bag with a you know, sun side up egg on each of them. No silverware in the bag. So we get to him and I'm like pissed because I've not eaten yet. It is noon. I'm starving, and I was getting angry. You just got everything to go. Well, the kids ate the kids ate. The the kids ate. Your yeah, your food was to go. Our food was to go, and there's no silverware in the bag. So Brandon runs off to find me a fork because I'm like, he can tell I'm about to just lose it. You know, I was not well. And the second he leaves, little one's acting out again, and Eliza's like, I have to go potty right now. I'm like, of course, this is good, this is good stuff. So I drag them into a library where Leo, knowing that he shouldn't be allowed in the library, proceeds to start screaming, bloody murder, just you know, because he's on one. And drag them both into the bathroom, put them on the toilet, you know, we go. Brandon comes running back with the fork, like, I got your fork, please eat, you know. So I sit down at a tabby. Yeah, exactly. He's like, but they only had one, so please save it for me. So he's playing with the kids on the playground. I'm sitting there eating my chiliquiles that are now cold, covered in cold egg. And then we switch, and he sits down and eats his huevos rancheros with a sunny side of old egg. Yeah, so you know, beautiful, yeah. And we've been telling the kids because we were in this nice little area called Del Rey of Alexandria, we're like around the corner is the donut shop. Like, you guys listen to us and we'll go get donuts. And Leo, we're like, all you have to do is not yell. As soon as we said that, he's like, ah! So and then they're like shocked when we say we're not getting donuts. I'm like, guys, what are you talking about here? We look at Joe. You didn't do one thing we asked you to do.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Disciplining those children. Good for you.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

We never, we never follow through on anything, but I was like, this time we absolutely cannot give them donuts. Like, this will be a horrible lesson if we say, Here you go, children, here's donuts for your horrific behavior.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

We cannot reward any of this, any of this behavior.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Yeah, yeah. So I, you know, I never understood people being like, Oh, my kids can't handle restaurants, I can't take them to restaurants because my oldest has always been great, you know. She's fine, she loves a restaurant, but now she's amazing. She orders the wine, she's exactly. She's got a great French accent when she orders the wine. She orders, you know, mac and cheese with lobster for herself. Yeah, you know, sophisticated. Yeah, she's she can handle it. She's a lady.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Whoa, whoa, whoa, she's a lady.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Yeah, she is something I saw that I sent to you. I don't know if it was autism or ADHD, but it was spot. I have the knife of ADHD. Yeah, not hear a word and some single thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

I know, I know. That's that's us. That's 100% us, and I love it. I love that about us. It's one of my favorite things. Yeah, I can't let it slide. I'm not saying it's no same. If it's in the head, it's coming out. Yeah. It's coming out. And you know what? It's really difficult with children because I don't know about yours, but mine are like, Mama, stop singing. Anytime like I open my mouth and there's music on before I can even get a word out, they're like, stop singing, stop singing, it's the worst.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

You know, like it's 5050. Sometimes she's down for the song, and then sometimes she just sits there staring, like, finish, finish your old lady songs. This morning was Susan. Mike said something the name Susan came up, and then immediately the song popped in my head, Mom, stop Susan. So watch Susan, and then I can't think who sang it. And Mike was like, just ask Alexa. And I was like, No, I'm gonna use my brain. God damn it.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Yeah, wait, this is the only thing who's doing it. That's a deep cut. Yeah, that's a deep Whitney cut, deep in the whole thing. Oh yeah, love whitney. Such a good one. She's the she's the best, she's the best. Rest in peace.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

Yeah, I have to stop relying on Alexa for my brain. I I have to bring it back. I was like, I can figure this out. Just give me a minute. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Well, the only thing in my brain that is has a my brain has retained over the years is like late 90s, early 2000s hip hop lyrics and bands. So, like, if I lose that, I got nothing, you know, nothing else rolling around up here.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

I have nothing to reference ever. No. I'm done. Yeah, I'm totally same. Have you been following Artemis, the space journey?

SPEAKER_02 10:55

I have not as closely as you have, but I have. I know that it's really impacted you, and I I'm but I do love it. I do love it. I am also a little bit like, oh, how much money was that? We don't have any money. There's a lot of money. It's a lot of money. But it was worth it. Did you see the I know? I know it was cool. It was very cool. Yeah, yeah. It was cool. They landed there live. I know. They did it. They did it, Joe. Yeah. They did it, Joe. It's great.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

We just did something, something positive.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

We did just 100% hold on to. Yeah, to distract from the horrors. The horrors. Horrors persist. Not the whores, the horrors. And probably the whores. Probably the whores too. Well, we'll get to Amanda in a minute. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

So we have we've heard, we are happy to have our Summer House listeners here. We've also heard from our OG listeners that some of you are just going to follow Bravo and don't know what the hell we're talking about. And sometimes don't watch shows. So we are going to try to separate out some like OG Kiki catch-ups with ones that are strictly for like Bravo content or different shows. This one's going to be a mishmash, but yeah, we hear you.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Well, we haven't caught we haven't had a real life kiki. Jackie won't let me talk to her outside of the podcast. So we have real life. We could catch up in a couple weeks. We have a lot to catch up on. Yeah, we do. We have a lot to get to get caught up on.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Like sometimes we'll be a week and we'll be like, do you want to catch up? We're both like, we didn't fucking do anything this week. Yeah. Nothing.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Exactly. And God forbid we just talk to each other, not recorded. Yeah. That's not nobody wants to. Yeah. Yeah. Without this podcast, would we even be friends? But we are currently planning our Milan trip. And I had to break it to Jackie that I have never been on Pinterest and don't have an account, which I know is it's a choice.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

I can't believe that. I cannot believe that. I know. We were trying to discuss fashions, and I said, put together a little Pinterest board, get a penny together, let's send it to each other, see what we're thinking. And she was like, I can't do that. I don't know if that's I can't.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

I know. I took a I took a stand against it when it first came out, and a similar way I've taken a stand against Mahjong, you know, it just felt kind of lame. I know those two quote. But over the years, you know, it would have been nice to have it a few times, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Someone scared me. I don't do it really at all anymore. It used to be hardcore, especially like bedding planning and like baby shower planning, yeah and stuff like that. But I rarely go on it. Rarely go on it. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Yeah. Yeah. I know my as we bought this new house and I'm thinking about how to decorate and what needs to be done to the house. Uh, several friends have been like, send me your Pinterest board for it. And I'm like, gals, you should listen to this. Come, let me your ear.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

This girl saves like ideas. Those things you liked online. Oh my god. You might as well get a sliperator again. I know.

unknown 14:00

I know.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

I told you I could email you. I could email you some some ideas.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Come on. You are kidding. I know. I know friends. I know. I should probably just get at this point. I've my stand has been, I think I've made my point, you know. But now I'm gonna have to Google how to use it. And the internet's gonna be like, who are you? Like, what are you a hundred?

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Very easy. You just click a picture you like, and then you make different boards and categories, and then you just obsessively like and save, and it's great. And then you could just go to your folder. Yeah, you'll you'll get it. You're a highly intelligent woman. You got this. Thank you. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Change your life, switch it to your house.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

It's gonna change your life.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Yeah, yeah. I think that's probably right. A note and then I have to go search for it, and I'm like, damn it, when do I make that note? It is, and if I didn't label it right, I'll never find it. Like it's gone, it's totally gone.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah, you might as well have been cutting out pictures from a magazine.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Yeah, I have like an actual vision physical visual board. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Actually, the notes app is more offensive than a machine.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Yeah, it probably is, uh honestly. Yeah, absolutely is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:10

Oh my god, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

But I am really excited for well, I want to talk about Milan a little bit more. Okay. We're we're not done here. Because I really want to know what our listeners think in terms of footwear. We need your help because we need a comfortable stylish sandal, I think. You know, we're going in mid-May, it's gonna be warm, we're gonna be walking a lot. We need a comfortable stylish sandal. And when you put that into Google, bad stuff comes up. I'm talking Birkenstocks, I'm talking Tivas. You know, I it's like I need to change my location to Italy, and then maybe it'll give me some real options because it's like, oh, let me tell you what Americans think is fashionable. You know, it's it's not great. So I would like some input.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

My Google is flooded or my algorithm is flooded with like Mary Jane sneakers, like Adidas makes a bunch of their sneakers in a Mary Jane style, which is very cute, which is one color I've been eyeballing. But it's a lot of the Mary Jane's a meshy Mary Jane, different types of Mary Jane S slide-on situations. I'm gonna go try on some next week.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

But see, I have I have a wide fat foot. Jackie once called my son's feet cannolis, and the he gets it from me. But he gets it from me. Yeah, it's genetic. So the strap really highlights that it's like fighting for its life, you know. It's the strap's like, I'm barely hanging on here, you know, like it's about to pop off at any second. So Mary Jane is can be tough for me. Yeah. The cannoli feet shoving them in there, trying to get that strap done on the very last little tab, you know, like praying they don't pop open.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

You got you got Mary Jones.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Yeah, exactly. Mary Steve. Mary Bigfoot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

No, it's Mary Steve's. That's different. Yeah, okay. We can't be different, Steve. We need a sensible stuff. I need a standard.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

I need a nice little puppies. These puppies, they gotta, they gotta air out, especially if I'm walking all day, they're gonna be all swollen. No, the straps wide open. No, I died. Yeah, yeah. No, that's uh I would die in Milan. I would not step a foot outside again if I popped a strap on the streets of Milan next to like a six foot three model, you know, like, oh sorry, my feet just expanded because of the heat. You know, you get it.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

I'm sure that's and again, we have we have to be concerned about being confused with supermarkets. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

And like now that you have been recognized from the pod, we have sort of a different lifestyle now, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

We sort of, oh my gosh, that episode is in the basket. We record Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

So it hasn't, uh yeah, nobody knows what we're talking about. You could drop it in here.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

You could drop it in here. Let me tell the story real quick. So I the other weekend had to go to this like little flower shop to get a little flower basket for a gift. And I walk in and I walk back out to see the flowers outside, and I walk back in, and there's like four women working behind the counter, and they all say to me, Hello, and I go, So I walk around, I'm like, wait a minute. Nobody says hello here, they say gindobre. Like they don't speak. So I'm like, how do they know I speak English? Like that's weird. And then one of the women comes up and she's like, We recognize you from Instagram. You're the American that lives here. And I was like, Yeah, what? It happened. It was my moment. I am famous.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Yeah, it's all about chasing the neon rainbow your whole life, and now you caught it.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

My whole damn life. And now I got it. You're a star for all those years of acting. You're a star. You're a star. All you needed to do was move to a small Polish town. Yeah, that's it. So, you know, I'm just like ladies, uh, just like you. I'm just a regular person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

Just a regular gal.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Just a regular gal. So yeah, we don't know how far this news has traveled. Oh, right. My fame and if that's gonna impact our security level in Milan.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

Yeah, we we haven't we haven't engaged security yet, but when we get there, we might need it. You know, we might get mopped coming off the plane, and so we just have to be ready for that.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Yeah, and if all this fails, we can just like throw one of your big club feet at somebody and knock them out.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Exactly. That's right. Yeah, be like, got this huge foot. Yeah, exactly. Stomp your foot with this thing, never recover. Swollen, swollen can only with the swollen club foot. I'm excited. I can't wait.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

We gotta.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Oh my gosh, it's gonna be, yeah. And listeners, if you have any suggestions of where to shop, we're looking for authentic Italian, but you know, what we can afford. Thrift linkage, we're talking like, yeah, HM prices, but you know, sewed by hand in Italy. Prada. That's what we can like. Right, right. We don't want any sweatshop action, you know. No, but we'd like the prices to be under$30 US.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

We'd know Two prices, but Prada. Yeah. Fendi.

unknown 20:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

This is what we're looking at.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Or you know, usable. If it looks like Prada or Fendi, that works too. You know, I I used to go in high school, we used to go to this part of Houston called Harwen, where you could roll up into a purse shop, pick out any label you want, and they'd sew it on there right in front of you. So I had a Prada bag, I had a Gucci bag, and I remember I carried this Prada bag to school one day, and this kid who was rich was like, That's not a real Prada bag. And I was like, Yes, it is, and he handed it to him and he sniffed it, and he goes, You're right, this is real. I was like, Okay, passed the literal sniff test, and it was$15.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

So my wow, we went to very different high schools. I don't think any boy in my high school would have been like that. Well saying Prada bag. I know that.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Yeah, well, that's for another time, but the place I grew up in was horrific. Rich shout out assholes. Not about my list. Go on.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

So speaking of cannolis, how was your Easter?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

It was really good. It was good. We went to Outer Banks, had never been there before. Really? First time outer banksers. Yeah, because you know, we lived in South Carolina, so we just went to the beaches there. So the drive there sucks. Sucks.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

I'm like Connecticut when I was younger.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

That's so awful. Oh my God. I was like, I'd almost rather go to South Carolina, even though it's three hours longer, because at least you're just on 95 the whole time, you know? Yeah, the whole way there, I was like, we can never do this again. But then we got there and it was amazing. The weather was perfect. I don't know how people go in August because it was so hot the first week of April, like so hot. Oh my god. But we had a pool, we had a hot tub, we had a seven bedroom house with my sister and a whole family. I mean, there was an entire King bedroom, no one slept in. The kids just played in it. That's awesome. We didn't have that many people. Yeah. So it was it was great. We had a great time. The weather was was good. Like I said, we got original duck donuts. Don't know if you've ever had those, but they will knock your titties clean off. Oh my god. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. So good. So so good. Yes, we had a great time. But there was this crazy phenomenon, and it mostly hit Corolla, which is where we were staying. Corolla in one other city. But a week or two before we got there, there was a cold snap and the water froze. And this entire like species of fish just died because they like weren't ready for the cold snap. But so there were dead fish on every square inch of this beach. And so we walk out to the beach and Leo's like, oh my God, what is that? And we're like, don't touch him, don't touch him, don't play with him, don't pick them up. But there were dead fish everywhere. Like, like this big, like a full-size fish.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Oh my God. Fish heads, fish bodies.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Oh, that's so bad. It was sad, but also disgusting. I know. Because we were like, what is this? No, it really didn't smell. It must have been a few weeks before we got there because it was mostly carcasses by that point. Yeah, it was it was gross. Yeah, it was really gross. But we could not figure it out. And then I googled it. I'm like, did the birds do this? What's happening? And it was all the same exact type of fish.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

It wasn't like what is happening?

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Yeah, I know. Exactly. That's what I said. I mean, I'm pretty sure Nostradamus said a little something about the fish turn that we're on the sea. You know, what's going on? Yeah, but what's climate change? That's not real. You know. Nah, nah. So besides the dead fish, but that was the takeaway. But Leo's uh preschool teacher said she asked him about the vacation, and that's all he talked about was the dead fish.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

Of course. That's all I think that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

That's all he's got. Yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Speaking of it was good. It was good. Speaking of climate change, have you read the book or watched the movie at Project Hell Hail Mary?

SPEAKER_02 23:41

No, but I know everybody's talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Oh my God. It's so good. So we listened to the audiobooks. We had about a five-hour drive from where we are to this the town we went to to meet friends in Poland and in Poland for Easter. And so we listened to it there on the way back. And then we still had like a third of it left. So Mike and I just, I mean, it's all I did the next day was just like listen to it at double speed. It is so good. And like that linked up this week with Artemis, it just a lot of space joy. But like either listen to the audiobook, go see the movie. It is, yeah. If you liked The Martian, if you liked the one with Matthew McConaughey, if you like those kind of space movies, oh, it's so good. So so good. Highly recommend to everybody. Very like happy ending, very like good. Good, good. Have you read Atmosphere?

SPEAKER_02 24:30

No. You would love it. It's a woman who joins the space program in the 80s. It's a fiction book, but it is so good. You will love it.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Okay. I'll do a I'll do an audiobook of that because now I'm in the space mode.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Oh, yeah. You're gonna love this. It's so good. It's so heartwarming, too. Like you're gonna love it.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Oh, okay. I'm excited. So yeah, we listened to Maggie. That was a highlight. And then on the drive there, I also saw my first Polish hookup on the side of the road.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

That's exciting. What was she wearing?

SPEAKER_01 24:56

So we didn't really know what we were looking at. We had a drive down, so the way the polls they're doing a lot of what do you call fixing roads and stuff? I can't yeah, I don't know. What do you think? Infrastructure? No, that's not a thing. Yeah. Infrastructure's up on a lot of like methy decadestals right now. So kind of I'm I'm spinning. So like when they do road work in the States, they'll close like a lane of I-95 and then like redirect traffic. In Poland, they just shut down the whole stretch of highway and say, fucking figure it out. So there's a stretch of highway that we need to go on to go from where we live to this other place in Poland, and it's just closed. So it just redirects you through all these back roads and it adds like an hour and a half to the drive. It's an Easter weekend. Oh my god. And it's been this way for months because they're redoing this whole stretch of highway. So we knew. So we have to go all these back roads. And on one of these back roads, there was a lady sitting on a chair in you know, nighttime attire, just sitting on a chair by the side of the road. What's nighttime attire? Like a like lingerie, or like no, like a skirt and like a going out top. It's really gonna date me. A going out top and a skirt and like red. I guess red heels is the tell, or red shoe. And the red daughter is sitting in a chair. She's on the road sign, she's back of it. She's back of it. It's like a big, there's like big fields or whatever. So she's back of it. She's in a field road.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

She's just in a big chair. It's not like a house nearby or anything. She just like come get it in this chair. It's weird. I was like, maybe there's ego business or something. She's like, I'm not standing up.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

Polish family and people and stuff. And I said somebody about hookers, and I was like, Oh, is that like, do they sit in chairs? And they were like, Yeah, yeah, they sit in chairs, they have red shoes. I was like, she's very comfortable. Just but where do they do their business? I guess in the cars, or they go. There was like a dirt road kind of near her, so maybe they just pull over. But wow. There we go. Happy Easter. Hoppy Easter.

SPEAKER_02 26:58

Hoppy Easter from your local hooker.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

Local Polish hooker.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

So I could check that off my Polish to-do list. Bucket list.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

List bucket list. I have.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Polish Easter is a lot of eating. It's delicious. Nice. This will blow your mind. So there's like Easter Saturday, where they gave my daughter like a cute basket with these. You put in like Easter offerings, like with things you would eat for Easter, and then you go get it blessed at the church. And again, Polish Catholic Church is efficient 20 minutes in and out. Couldn't have asked for me.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

That isn't I've never heard of that from a Catholic church.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Never.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

I've never gotten out of Catholic Church in under two hours, ever.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

20 minutes. I sat in front of a framed photo of John Paul II, Pope John Paul II. They're everywhere. He's the goat.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

They called Pope John Paul II. Yes. Oh. He got he pulled them out of out of com communism. Oh I don't think he realized.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

I don't know. I don't have a lot of Catholic history.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

They're everything. He's every John Moon. He's just everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

He died, and then he died, or he he's the one that like abdicated.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Now you're asking too many questions. I just know. Which one does it really like? A bad one. A real bad one.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

Well, my husband is I'm a Southern Baptist, so it's I'm a real bad Southern Baptist.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

Sorry, sorry, Michael. Real bad. Yeah. He has something to do with any of the Viney Communism, and they really like him. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Pope John Paul's second. But yeah, in now, 20 minutes. And then that night they hosted a Polish dinner that was delicious. And then the next day we went for Easter Sunday to another person's house in their family. And so we get there like 11 o'clock, 11:30, and they have like what I would consider brunch. A lot of soups, a lot of deviled eggs in different forms, sausages, love veggie sides. Oh, you would have loved it. Lots of like all different sides.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Soup, deviled eggs, and veggie sides. I mean, what worked? That's all you can eat. That's all you need.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Bread's perfect. It was perfection. Delicious.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

So tell me about these devil. Let's just pause for a second on the deviled eggs. Okay. What types? Like what did they put in them? Is it like a mayo mustard thing like we do? Or is it something weird? So there were several types.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

There was a fancy type that had caviar on it. Two different types of caviar. Okay. Bala. Hello. There was caviar. Didn't know you were a rich. Then there was like obviously a standard deviled egg that had like a mix in it, maybe with some sort of like a relish in it situation. Yeah. Those were good. I ate those. I liked those. I mean, I ate all of them, but I liked I ate the most of those. Then there was what I think they would call like a Polish deviled egg, which was pretty much just a hard-boiled egg with mayonnaise on it. Which again, I'm not mad at it.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Not mad at it. Our French au pair served that to my son for lunch every day, and he fucking loved it. At first, we were like, I love the she just cut an egg in half and put mayo on it, and he ate the shit out of it. Loved it. Yeah, it was good. I ate all the protein, fat. I mean, it's got off everything you need.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Everything you need. Able soups, ate the sausages, delicious ferrogis. I mean, you can't ask for more. So a full spread. That sounds good. Then we go like the whole afternoon, we go for like a nature walk, hanging at the house. This, this and that. It's hitting around four o'clock. I think we're done. We're wrapping this up. They whip out an entire dinner spread. Two, could you imagine hosting a holiday and doing two full meals? Absolutely not. Believable.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

Did they just disappear into the kitchen or was it all like mostly made already? Or what?

SPEAKER_01 30:28

People were in the kitchen. I mean, we were they did they pulled out a fish from the night before, like a fish casserole thing you probably would have really liked. It had like cream sauce with like roasted veggies on it. Mike said it was the best thing he had. It was like a white fish. And then they pulled out a turkey, roasted turkey, and some other meat. And then with all the same eggs and sides and soups and things that were already made.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Were the fireworks in turkey's ass again?

SPEAKER_01 30:51

You know what? I don't think there was one fireworm with this meal. That's what it was missing. That's what it was missing.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Yeah, maybe that's the difference in like class. It's like, okay, here's fireworks, here's caviar on our eggs. You know, they're like, oh, we would never put a firework in a turkey's ass. That's so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Oh, you're right. That might be the level we're working with. Yeah, this is high class.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

High class Polish. It was amazing. It was delicious. Oh, that sounds so played. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was really good. That sounds awesome. It was really good. Well, I'm excited to get a good when we get to Italy.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Oh my God. I cannot wait. I'm going to gain some. I'm just keeping those Ozempies left to right right now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Just stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. Yeah. I gotta lose 10 so that I can gain 10. It's like a game same because exactly.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Yeah. Exactly. I don't yeah. I don't care. I don't want to hear it come out.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Yeah. All right. But yeah, we gotta get into Scamanda. We gotta get into Scammer. So much has happened. I tried to get our dear correspondent Katie on, and it is a Saturday here, and she said, Oh, I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna be drinking on a boat all day. I'm like, I knew you would be doing something fucking cool. Oh, okay. That's right. I forget to be 20 and something. No kids vibes. So nobody was looking at him with like, oh, I've been there. Oh, that's cute. It was like, ugh, you know. It was like, in here, what are they doing? We'll let them in here. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

I mean, it is the former home of our vice president, JD Vance. Yeah, that's true. So that's true.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Back to Scabra.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

It's an a bravo.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

You can you can cut out now. Yeah, now's where you can cut out. Exactly. Yeah, love you so much. Yes. So the thing is since we last spoke, Kyle did like a 15-minute on-the-street interview. The takeaway of which are threefold. First, he's the things he's most worried about are two things. Well, three things, really. The first being Amanda's mental health. Um, the second being the number of followers that West has. He was really, really concerned.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Very concerned.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

That was a top, that was just just second to Amanda's mental health. Barely. Barely. Barely. And then third was Carl. You know, he said Carl's a mess. Carl's Carl's a mess. Carl's a mess. Carl is a mess. What? And that took the internet by storm as it should have, because it was so good. It was so good. Carl's a mess. Like Carl, who is not involved in this in any way. It does not involve him. Like, just so good. So good.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

And then Carl's a mess brought Carl and Lindsay back together.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

It did. It did. I was just about to say they did an Uber Eats ad that ate. I mean, it on the fucking internet for the month. But no one's going to phenomenal. So good. We should post that on our story or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

Oh, yeah. We'll post all this stuff. Yeah. So after Kyle posted that, people were like, I think Kyle and Amanda are going to get back together. I think he's going to defend her at the reunion. I think he's still in love with her. I think this is all like the West and Amanda of it all are going to fade out and like Kyle's going to take her back and they're going to be stronger than ever. And I was kind of leaning towards that. I was like, this kind of makes sense. I could see that happening. And we hadn't heard anything from Amanda. We hadn't seen her. We hadn't heard anything. So I was like, maybe she is like, oh my God, I completely fucked up and like, yeah, you know, Kyle be my like knight in shining armor. And then the last 24 hours is fun.

unknown 34:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

I'm gonna read a statement. Nice Amanda put out a statement on her, well, put out a statement, but did her first like insta story, her first anything.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Which to be clear, West has been posting as if nothing happened. Just pictures of nothing. He's friends, he's out, how he's living his life.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Doesn't fix it. Anyways, go ahead. What a piece of shit. So this is the this is the bullshit she put out yesterday. Hi guys, how with the this is text over a picture of her cute dog sleeping. Okay. So yeah, I mean, we know what you're trying to do here.

unknown 34:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

We know what you're trying to do. Hi guys, I'll keep it short and sweet. I've obviously been MIA, but I wanted to come back on and say I'm truly sorry to everyone I've disappointed in her, especially those I know personally who I've reached out to individually. For the sake of my mental health, try to start living life with some sense of normalcy. If you see me out or posting online, please know that this is still weighs very heavily on me. I'm not ignoring what's happened or what's unfolded. I'll be at the reunion, we'll be addressing any and all questions honestly and directly there. And then she proceeds to last night be uh caught, I guess, out with photos with West. Out to dinner in New York, out to the bars with West in New York. I hadn't even seen that yet. Oh yeah, yep. Wow. They were out all night together with friends, hanging out. She had a scarf around her head trying to like hide herself. Yep. So she posted that shit so that she can start going out with West again, being a few. Posting pictures, being seen with her boyfriend, posting pictures, see with her boyfriend, probably posting brand deals. And she's like, I need to get back to the game for my mental health. I need to get back on social media. A sentence that's never been says said before everybody ever.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

That's the thing that bothers me about this. And I get where Kyle's coming from. And while I was watching him talk, I was a little bit like, oh, this is probably people are probably being insane because there are people that take this shit way too seriously and like death threats and people are lunatics on the internet, right? But like I don't be on the show. You don't need it. You don't have to be all over the internet, you don't have to do any of this. So, like, if your mental health is that fragile, go fucking take care of it. Go the best thing you can do for your mental health is not be on a reality TV show, you know? Yep. I just I don't like I I I get that point, but then it's like at some point, when does it when does she responsible for her own mental health and not the rest of us, you know?

SPEAKER_01 36:40

Yep. Yeah. It's crazy that she would post that to basically like, I need to like I want to get back online and start posting stuff again that doesn't have anything to do with this. So like right because I'm just saying, like, I get it, I'm sorry, I feel bad, but like I'm getting back to life. Yeah. Wow. Wow, what a fuck you to Sierra. Absolutely giant fuck you. Not even a giant to Sierra.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Yeah, I know. Which I saw Sierra this morning posted, she did an ad with Sephora. And if you're a Sephora beauty insider, right now you get discounts because they're like summer sale or spring sale or whatever. And she posted, she didn't ad for Sephora that said, Sephora actually values loyalty. Like, because you the if you're a part of the loyalty program, you get this coupon or whatever. I was like, get it, girl, get that money, get paid.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Girl. She's like red carpet interviews for I think Euphoria premiere and some other things. And she's just killing it. There was one clip I saw where she was like interviewing one of the stars of Euphoria was like, So, what do you think if like someone gets together with your ex or something? Yeah, and Sierra was like, I think they need to get married. I think they need to get it. That's the only option. They need to get married and be together forever. Because like, what else did you do it for? What else did you do it for? Yep, she said it right to the camera. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:03

I know.

SPEAKER_01 38:04

I know for this reunion.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

When is it so made? Oh my god, I know, I know. I need it, I need it. Did you watch this week's episode? Yes, yeah, it was it was okay. It was a bit of a filling. Yeah, yeah, which thank God. What a bitch. I'm sorry. You roll up. I don't care if he just met this girl or she's the love of his life, doesn't matter. You don't say everyone in the house thinks he's in love with me. That is so I fucking told you.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

She has always been a pick-me girl.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

That's what she is. That's exactly what she is. She needs every man in the house to be in love with her. She loves how they all slobber all over her, and she has been married, so she hasn't been able to do anything with them, but she loves the attention. She needs it from everybody.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

She is desperate for male attention. Yeah. Absolutely. At all costs. 100%. And it's like now watching these episodes, like hindsight 2020, seeing who she really is, it's like, oh wow. Wow. And did you see all the stuff that came out about like Craig and Paige and her? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

I need Paige to hit the her her podcast and tell us her thoughts on all of that. I wonder what, but like, I don't know. I I find it a little bit hard to believe because Paige is a bad bitch. And if Paige thought that Amanda crossed the line, she would not have stayed friends with her. She may not have outed her, but she wouldn't have stayed friends with her. I don't think they're friends though.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Well, she ended the show. And I don't because she said I am real friends with Sierra, and I am TM Sierra. I don't think her and Amanda are friends.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

Well, I need to get some more information on that.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yeah, we I we need like the deets.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

The deets.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

A hundred percent. We need those deets. Paige, give it to me. How do you feel about the spin-off? The in the city spin off. Did you watch the promo? I think it looks good. I'm excited. I know.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

I don't know that I need to see. I know that was weird, but also I'm enough. I'm done with Carl. I I love him. He seems like a real he's really like gotten himself together and he should not be on reality TV. He he shouldn't. It's not interesting. This week trying to like start some shit with with Kyle, Kyle, just to like get airtime, it felt like. You know, I I feel like he was this is like I have to stay on this show and this is all I've got because nothing else is going on, you know. But I think it looks good. I do it is gonna annoy me to have to watch continue watching the breakdown of their marriage and all that. It's like just get to it already. Like we started this season with Summer House knowing that they're getting a divorce. Like, yeah, like just get it over with already. I don't think they were even really together on this season of Summerhouse. Like, I don't think they were now re-watching.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

I've seen a bunch of clips of it. The episode, like Kyle's birthday episode where he tells Amanda to fuck off when he gets like super drunk and weird, and Wes comes to the rescue. And like I thought that scene was weird when I watched it the first time and was like, well, I don't realize they were that close. Now, watching it back, like Wes and Amanda in the bathroom, and then Kyle literally saying to Wes, like, she's hung out with you more in the last six months than she has with me. Yeah, all these things where it's like, huh. I feel like Kyle suspected something, and that attributed to why he is crashing out so much in the house. Yeah, I think so too. I think I also said something.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Yeah, I've seen some like people doing some detective work on that episode where they're playing like spin the bottle, and she like Amanda like frenches Kyle or whatever, and then immediately Wes pulls this chair over to Sierra and starts rubbing her leg like trying to make Amanda jealous or something. That was weird.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

He's pouting.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

He was fully pouting, it was very weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

I stand 10 toes down that I think they were starting something black covered. Maybe they were having it, but they were emotionally yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:42

Yep. She was crying to him about Kyle and he was comforting her and telling her she could do so much better. And yeah, no, that's that's outrageous. Outrageous. That's what your girlfriends are for. But she doesn't need girlfriends because she's a pick me girl, she just needs male attention.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

And I think her whole friendship with Sierra was just with cameras because there was a there was a moment in I don't know if it was last episode or the one before, but I think it was the last one where that they're all at the table having breakfast, I think. And they're like, What are you guys doing for the week? And Mia, who I love, couldn't love me more. Love her more.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

Her boyfriend's adorable, love them together. Oh my god. Love them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

She's like, I just want to give like Sierra props because she's like, she is going to like renovate her home that she just bought. And I know how hard she worked to get that house, and I'm so proud of her, and blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. And Sierra's like tearing up, and she's saying like the most beautiful things about her friend. And then Amanda just chimes in right at the end and she's like, Me too. I'm so proud of you.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

Like, yeah, and it seemed like she didn't even know about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 42:46

She loved that storyline so much that she brought her grandparents home. That was so moving. Like, Sierra has become a full person on this show. Yeah. Like she has opened up and shown us her full self. And I love it. She seems like just such a good person. Like the conversation they had about race, multiple seasons they've had conversations about race, about the impact of her dating Wes. And and then now, like her buying, trying to build generational wealth and buying her grandparents' house through an LLC. So her dad didn't know that she was the one buying it. Like, I just thought it was amazing. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

That was wild when she was like, I had to get a lawyer, and like get an LLC, get it not in my name, get a trust. Get a real estate, get a trust, like get my like all these the ways she like got around getting it for her dad. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

That was sad too.

SPEAKER_01 43:36

That was yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

But I just like that is some real shit. I know. Let's see her doing like uh yeah, Chippy Joanna Sierra, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Sierra and Carolina. Yeah doing the house. Yeah, I would love it. Yeah, yeah. I really wish Paige was on the in the city spin off. I do miss her. I know, I know, I do too. I do too. I and I really wanted the spin-off to be, well, I mean, now I wouldn't want Amanda on it, but at the time I really wanted it to be like a sex in the city, right? I'm just going out slaying pilt all over the city. Sarah, Paige, Amanda, and Lindsay, just like following them for as the leads.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Yeah. It's really what I wanted. Now I know that's like a couples thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

But it looks good. Yeah, it looks really, really good. But yeah, I agree. I wanted to see, and I think Paige thought she doesn't need reality ship TV, but now I think she might, you know. I think the podcast is big and everything, but like it's just not the same. She's not getting the same like coverage that she got when she was on Summer House. So maybe she'll be back for something.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

Because she's not in like a visual form. I mean, yes, there's like clips on her social media, like the podcast social media, but she's not on a screen for anyone to be.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

And no one like looking, you know. I listen to podcasts on my way to work, and like sometimes they have videos, but I'm like, I'm not watching the no one's ever sitting out to watch an episode of a podcast, you know. Like they're listening in a car while you're doing something, you know. You're not like trying to see.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

Yeah, I'd be so bad on something. Yeah, I think she will be too. I hope so. I love it. I don't know. I need Bravo to pick up these fucking cameras. No, I need this reunion to film. I know.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

I need Hulu to pick up their cameras on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. We need to get into that in a second. But geez, what are you doing? Film this, film it all.

SPEAKER_01 45:27

Are they not filming yet? I don't think they are.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

I don't think they are. I don't think they are. And Boomer Mallory over here sent Jackie two really urgent messages late night while Jackie was asleep. But by the time she woke up, I realized they were AI generated or April Fools or something. But it was like one of them was that it was canceled altogether for good. And the other one was like, they are filming now or they're gonna release The Bachelorette on Hulu only. And I was like, fuck yeah. Like I told people this. And then I'm like, oh, son of a bitch. I'm like turning into one of those parents who just like believes everything they read on like, you know, Trump's truthagenda.com or whatever.net.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

I got you hard. It was like that you kept sending me.

SPEAKER_02 46:10

I was like, Valerie, Grandma, these are not real. When I start sending money into, you know, Nigerian princes, please intervene.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

You would like double data and you'd be like, Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. I was like, happening. It's not happening. Real it should, though.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

It should. They need to release release the tapes, release it. They need to release the files and the tapes and all maybe we'll we need to take a different angle towards Hulu, and we all need to start advocating for these poor white men who thought they were going to be, you know, Instagram famous after this and now are not.

SPEAKER_01 46:41

Did you see uh Vanderpump Villa? Speaking of poor white men, Vanderpump Villa did their preview for the season of Vanderpump Villa. They took him out. They took them out. They took him out.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

They took him out of every oh, they took all of them out. I thought they just took Dakota out. I read online that they took Dakota out of every scene that you would see.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

I read that they edited him out, but they completely took dad talk out of the free preview for the season. Oh, I see. Like they showed each group coming into the house, and dad talk was not one of the groups, so I don't even know if they'll do any competence office. How do you edit? It seemed like Dakota was going to be the like central storyline of that.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

He had so he's the only one allegedly that had sex with somebody there. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

So how do you just edit him out? I think they'll just cut the whole group, which would be I would love it.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

I hope they do. I hope they do. I oh my god, I would love it so much, so much. So much. Oh, but we gotta get into that. Okay, Jesse. Messy Jessie, messy Jesse. What is she doing? She has gone off the fucking rails. I feel like someone needs to take those kids, all of them. Every kid on the Secret Lives Mormon Wars, every single one of them. Just take them to a home, put bring in a bunch of therapists, get to work because Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

She has gone without the kids. It was posting a lot of sad posts, and then apparently spent it with Marciano.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

Marciano, so when she's not making out with Chase, she's making out with Marciano and taking weird photo shoots of her like pouring jugs of water over his body. Strange.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

So weird. And really cringy like TikToks of them like walking away holding hands with like music over it. And it's like, girl, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 48:26

What are you doing? Get your together. We like the ability for these women on TV to build up so much goodwill and then immediately just take a dump all over it is mind-blowing. Like everybody was on Amanda's side and would have, she would have been the hero. She would have had every deal under the sun had she not done this. And same with Jesse. Everybody's like, get it, girl, get out of this. This is bad. He's awful. But now, bam, goodwill is gone. I don't know if it's just like they're not filming and she's hard up for money, so she gotta do something. But like, girlfriend, this is not the way. Go sell some more hair.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

This is not the way. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what the future of mom talk holds for.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

I know, but I for the first time, I really don't know if mom talk will survive this.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Where did we go from here? I mean, TFP, Taylor Frankie Paul. I mean, she's playing it smart. She's off the radar. She's sandwiched, she's been in her custody issues, she's been in her bike. She's gotta stay in that Bible.

SPEAKER_03 49:28

Just stay there.

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Keep it there. She's got enough problems to deal with. Yeah. With her kids and her life and restraining orders and you do not need to see reality TV right now. You just stay in the Bible and stay off television. That head in the Bible. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So we don't need her. We don't need Dakota back. No. I mean, I guess the rest of them, but now they're doing it. This is Jen's happen, though. But will it happen? I couldn't get about Jen.

SPEAKER_02 49:57

Unless she's about to leave. I'm not gonna watch back. I'm not gonna watch it. Unless it's a really messy public split up. She's not an animatronic. She's not. No. She's she's not. She doesn't have the balls. She has too many kids. Little kids. Yeah.

unknown 50:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

Deal with that. I don't know. It's crazy. Messy, messy, messy. So messy. I I just yeah, I don't know what any of them are doing.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

Robad looks all around. Yeah. So what are we gonna? I mean, what shows are out right now? It's even really oh, the valley. I have not watched yet. I have not watched. Okay. I need to catch up on the valley.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

I'm gonna get my love tank failed, y'all. Raw and jacks. Raw inhale. I'm getting my sporkle back. Raw inhale, Jax. Yeah. I haven't watched it either. No.

SPEAKER_02 50:50

We get one show a night, and we're we're on Summer House right now, and like still trying to catch up on Southern Charm. I may just abandon Southern Charm though for the valley because I just Southern Hospitality and Oh, that's the other one. I know Southern Hospitality. Oh my god, you're watching. Go back. If you haven't watched it, go back, watch all the seasons. It's only three, I think, so far. It's phenomenal. Yeah. Three. I think this is the third. This is the oh, this is the third. Okay, I thought this was maybe the fourth. Oh, it's good. It's good.

SPEAKER_01 51:19

It is early Vanderpump rules. It is vibes.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

It is it's early Vanderpump mixed with Southern Charm.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Yes, it's excellent. Four seasons. This is the fourth season. This is the fourth. Okay. That's what I thought. But you can you will binge. Like I remember the first one. The first one's mid, but the second two. Honestly, you could start at the second. I go.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

Although then you kind of miss what's her face, who I really do love. Grace. Yeah, but she's like really shines in the first one. Oh, she does? Okay, maybe we'll have to go back. Watch the first. Yeah. But if it's overwhelming, you could start with the second one. Grace Lily, that's her name. That's the that's what you're gonna get. That's what you can expect from the show. Names like Grace Lily.

SPEAKER_01 51:57

Grace Lily, who is neither graceful or a little. Nope.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

The Sheen has rubbed off that lily. Tell you that right now.

unknown 52:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

So yeah. All right, well. The belly I'm excited about though. The meth is wearing off. It's all right. Well, I will plan to bring a suitcase full of meth, assuming they let me through TSA to Milan for you. Yeah, yeah. The meth kind. Yeah, what the fake meth, not actual meth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't don't check my prison wallet at the airport, please. Yeah, you need the good stuff. I know. As I told you earlier this week, I would have thought Northeasterners would have been made of stronger stuff. You guys got some weak constitution. You're sick all the time.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

Good lord. The pl the Polish plagues are pilling us over here. Yeah. Yeah. So much coal in there. Yeah. And just all these old snot nosed gremlins at her school and slot. No one heard that, sister. So we're we're bouncing back. We're bouncing back. But uh it was so good to catch up. So good. Allow ourselves to talk to each other.

SPEAKER_02 53:07

I know. Now that I'll see you again next time we record, I guess. You'll be like, don't say it. Don't text me that. I want to wait till we're on the pod.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

Like, just tell me. No, no, no. We were in the pod. I don't want to hear. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 53:24

It's good. We we clons we signed on Thursday to sell our house, and the buyers are signing Tuesday, and then we'll close on our new house on Wednesday. And so we can finally get the keys. When you start moving next week, and it actually movers come on Saturday. Damn. A week from today. Yeah. And then we've got stuff pretty much dinner behind you. Everything I can. Yeah, there's like uh a stack of boxes over there. Um so then the rest will just take over in like a million trips. You know, I got one of those bars that you hang on the car and just close them at. So yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

All right, everyone. Well, new listeners, happy to have you here. OG listeners. Hope you got more of what you like in this episode. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

You're still here through all the brother stuff. We're still here. We we are surviving and dare I say thriving in this, you know, atmosphere of constant update, you know, every day. It's something new with Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Commander. We've got our new shows dropping. I've heard Real Housewives of Atlanta is good this year. Ladies of London, you gotta get on it. It is fucking good. I heard it's so good. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

Guys, we can't recommend enough. Stop watching the news. Don't watch the news.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

Watch don't watch the news, don't read news. Television. Yes, don't read heavy books. Don't think about stuff, you know.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

Project Tale Mary. Go see it, go read it. You will feel so good and hopeful after. We'll get pictures of the moon. Hashtag loonjoy. Hashtag moonjoy. Yes. Yes. This is what we're living in.

SPEAKER_02 54:57

This is desire. This is our little bubble. We are fortunate enough to be able to divorce ourselves from reality. So we will.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

So we will. We will. And on that note, follow us on Instagram at a Kiki Catchup.

SPEAKER_02 55:12

Yeah. Great to see you. I didn't know what I didn't know what you were expecting. I was just like, I thought you had a you just blacked out for a second. All right. Well, Jackie's gonna go get some more math, and I'm gonna go see what my kids are doing. Okay. I look like a meth hand right now.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

I gotta think I'm probably with my hair, my passport picture. All right, Jackie. Until next time. Bye. It's a kicky catch up.

unknown 55:43

It's a kicky catch up. It's a kicky cat.