The Pressure to be Perfect

How many areas of your life do you find yourself chasing perfection or tearing yourself down for not reaching that standard? We're here to remind you that you don't have to be perfect because Jesus is perfect. Sydney and Morgan are joined with two girls from our student ministry, Alexa Dunagan and Charla Grace Attaway, to talk through struggles of perfectionism, trusting God and learning how to worship Him in everything that we do.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to OffScript, a conversation with no fakes, no filters, just real conversations about how faith and flesh meet in the everyday life, where we experience a God who made us on purpose for his purpose. This is Off Script. Let's talk.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Hey guys, welcome back to Offscript. We have a very fun episode today because we have two of our students and we have Alexa Dunigan and Charlotte Grace Addaway, and obviously we have Morgan on here. So nothing new. And Morgan. But we're so excited to have them and we're gonna talk about perfectionism. And I know both of them probably deal with that because you've got dance, you've got volleyball, beach volleyball. We were just talking about that in the car, and just all the things that come with your sports and just being a girl is hard. And I'm sure, guys, if you're listening to this too, like I'm sure you deal with that with your sports. So please don't run away because it's all girls on here. Like we can speak to you guys too. So I'm excited. But to kind of start us off, we were talking about how, or Morgan said something about OCD when we were in here, and then we started how like OCD is not just keeping things clean or whatever, but we start talking about type A and type B. I feel like that's a big conversation right now, or at least it is for me. Like a lot of people in my family are very type B, but I feel like I'm pretty type A, but I wish I was more type B. Like I I just admire people, maybe not in the messiness, but like I admire people that are type B because I'm like, I wish I could just like go with the flow and like nothing bothers me. But I'm like type A about our house. Like I'm very like, oh, I just I cannot stand hair anywhere. I like dog hair and our dark sheds a lot. I can't stand dishes, and then you can smell them as soon as I cannot stand that. So type A pretty much bought my house, and then type B bought my car. And Alexa rode in my car on the way here, and she saw it, and I'm really sorry. So, what are y'all like? Type A, type B, what do you think?

SPEAKER_03 2:07

I feel like type A about some things.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

That's Charlotte Grace, by the way. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Hello. Like my hair, like I'm very type A about my hair. Like I'm wearing a slip back right now, and it took me 30 minutes to do because I redid it so many times. Like when I curl my hair, like it has to be all the curls have to look the same or else it's going in like a banana clip or something. Um, but then like my room, like I'm very typey. Like it's a hot mess express in there. Like it's it's pretty bad.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Is your closet? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

We don't go in there.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

We don't go in there.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

We don't go in there.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

That's off limits.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yeah. What about you, Alexa?

SPEAKER_02 2:41

I'm like type A, but I'm also type B. So in type A, like my schedule, like it has to be like put up for the week. Like in my days, like it has to be like, okay, go to school, go to practice, eat dinner, homework, sleep. Yep. And it's just like it's the same thing every day. And it's like if I get off of that routine, it just messes my whole like mind up. But type B would honestly be my hair, because it's just like I wear my hair natural just about every day, and it doesn't really bother me, honestly. Like I can just put it in a ponytail and I really don't care.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

You have good natural hair though. It looks like you fixed it. I've always been jealous of that. Morgan, what are you?

SPEAKER_04 3:15

I listeners of the podcast, I am what they would call a type C.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

I've got to be special.

SPEAKER_04 3:24

You gotta be different than everybody. I got listen, I'm type A. I would say my best friend and I were talking about us the other day. Probably 80% of my life, I'm type A. There's a 20% that I am so type B. I think I could be the original type B. Like, for example, okay, you're talking about type A about your hair. Okay. I'm type A about trips, I'm type A about events, I'm type A about most things in my life. Okay. I have a lot of stories where type A's bit me in the bottom. Then there are very few things, okay, that I'm type B, but I'm so type B, okay? Since it's just us ladies and you guys listening to, my complexion is type B. Okay. I learned what the word exfoliate meant just recently. Is that funny? And it was Charlotte Gray, too. Charlotte Gray.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

It's not funny. I didn't know how that started.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Yeah, it's dead skin cells. Go listen to that again. If you didn't know, now you know. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like my skin. Also, look at my face. Well, you can't see listeners, but I've got two Rudolph the Red Nose reindeers on my face.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

Like Girl, I can't even see them. Calm down. Girl. All the guys just left.

SPEAKER_04 4:36

I'm sorry, I just thought. Come back, come back, come back. But yeah, I would say just about like that kind of stuff. But most things I would say A. So I don't know. I mean, I would say a C. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

A type C. Yeah. I'm sure that's a thing. For sure.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

It's gotta be.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Yeah, I feel like that's been like a big conversation, but type A, okay, so we all have something type A that we're type A about. And that same with like our events and my to-do list. Like I told Caleb leading up to the weekend, I was like, I had everything written out when things were gonna get done. And if I didn't get it done that day, it was like really messing with me. And he finally was just like, hey, all those things just add to the weekend. And he was like, they're not like necessary. And I had to be like reminded of that. So I'm sure there's struggles in both areas. But I feel like one of those things, especially for type A, is that like perfectionism thing. And you know, Charlotte Grace, you were talking earlier about you made a really good point about dance. I want you to like go through that and just kind of each of you just like walk through maybe where you've been and where you've maybe struggled with perfectionism because you almost like don't know that you're doing that to yourself or being that way until maybe like the Lord gets a hold of you or you are not perfect in something, and then you have someone has to like remind you to give yourself grace or like that you're not gonna be perfect, but both of y'all can kind of walk through just like where you've been with your sports or dance or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

I'll say like dance, like you're constantly in front of a mirror. And I was speaking on this earlier, like you know, like as a dancer, you know what looks right, you know what you're supposed to look like, and you know that you don't look like that.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

So it's a constant battle of like, how do I do good at my sport when I don't look like her? Because even in like dance class, like to learn like a combo or something, like we'll watch a girl do a combo, and you're like, Well, how the heck am I supposed to learn that in one class and look like her? And it's it's honestly like a constant battle because you're like you're you're trying to do you're trying to dance, but at the same time, like you're thinking about, oh, like did my did I just like sickle my foot? Like what just happened? Like, did I oh my gosh, look at my toes, like and that's okay, that's gross.

SPEAKER_04 6:54

I know, but people call me Spongebob SquarePants in high school because I have square toes. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 6:59

You don't you don't even want to see my feet because like it's so dancers' feet, don't don't ask, don't ask. But it's like things like that that you're just like you might have like done well at practice, but it's the things that you didn't do well that you're gonna carry with you. You're not gonna carry like I finally got my triple, you're gonna carry with me. The whole entire time I did that combo, my foot was tickled. Yeah, and honestly, I think it's about your perspective, like who you're doing it for and what you're doing it for. Like if you are dancing to be perfect, to reach that goal, it's never gonna happen. Yeah, you're never gonna be satisfied. And I think that that was I learned that during my first surgery. I think that was something the Lord wanted to teach me then because during that, like I was so weak, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't dance either. And I I was reminded of that verse, it's what is it in his witness? He's well, his power is perfected in our weakness, yep. And that was a big one for me. And also just like the amount of times dance is mentioned in the Bible, it's always done for the Lord, like dance for the Lord. David danced for the Lord, and I think that like changed my perspective of like why I'm doing it because like I'm not dancing to be perfect. Sure, I want to look good, obviously, right, but I'm not dancing for that goal. I'm dancing because I want to please my father, I want to worship him with my movement, and I want to use the talent that he gave me to helpful hopefully reach somebody that he wants me to reach. Because I will say one of the greatest things about dance is like the sisterhood because you meet so many people and they're all so like I will say, dance girls, like don't be fooled, they're all so very nice. Yeah, like they might not be below the surface, but if you meet a girl at like a competition or like a convention or something, like she's always gonna be nice, she's always gonna help you out, she's always gonna act like your sister, like and that I think that's one of the biggest bless blessings of dance.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

I've kind of gotten off topic, but well, I was just thinking about like that like act of worship, and dance is such a way to like express what you're feeling. I'm sure volleyball too. I mean, any kind of like physical activity, I feel like is a really good just expression of maybe what you're feeling on the inside, yeah, and which can be such an act of worship. And we talked about that at the weekend worship with your hands, worship with your gut, worship with your feet. And I think all of those things together just show that worship is a lifestyle and it's not this like I can only do it when music is playing, and there's someone on stage with a guitar and there's lyrics and there's lights. Like, no, like your worship looks like the way you take care of your home, the way you take care of yourself, the way that you play your sport, the way you treat others. I heard someone say the other day, like me doing my dishes and my laundry is an act of worship. And I was like, oh my gosh. And I went home and I did all the laundry and I did the dishes, and I was like, you know what? I'm not even mad about it. But no, that's really cool. And I I danced when I was little too, and I wasn't very good, but I always found that it was such a like it was a very emotional thing, and so dance is really cool. But Alexa, you have like a different because volleyball is very different from dance. So tell us kind of how.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Yeah, so like honestly, I'm a big perfectionist because I'll get in the car and my mom will ask me how I was practiced. And I always say it was like fun because there's always something better I can do. And so, like, I practice, there's like different points. So if we're working on like defense, which is when I'm playing back row, it's like, okay, I have the movement down and I got the ball up, but where did it go? And it's just like people cheer me on when I'm getting the ball up, but I just focus on where did it go? Like if it just went straight up, like I'm mad at myself. But if it went to the net, like I'm actually proud of me. And so it's with that, and then also with like hitting, because especially as an outside hitter, it is it's the one of the hardest positions, honestly, because you get the hardest balls and everything. And it's just like my coach gets mad at me multiple times because like I do something well, but I just think about what I can do better next, and that's my biggest issue. But I also I want to go back to the forms of worship, so I also think my attitude is a form of worship, which I've been like trying to work on so hard. And actually, last tournament I got compliments from my coaches, from players, from all the parents on my team about my attitude. Nice, and it just like really helped because I also just gonna be honest, I also saw how many college coaches were there, yeah, and that's what they look at. And then I was also like, well, if my attitude is a form of worship, then I'm not worshiping if it's a bad attitude. Yeah. So I've tried to fix that.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Yeah, I like that perspective of just like anything that you do when you change it to be like, okay, this is worship, it changes like everything. And I've been trying to like, I think lately for me, perspective has been everything, and I've been really learning a lot about that. And so changing it to like, okay, God, like you've given me the ability to dance, and like I'm gonna worship you through that. You've given me the ability to play volleyball and I'm gonna worship you through it, whether that's my attitude, whether that's the way that I speak to my mom after practice, whatever that looks like. Because I'm sure like poor moms, they take the front of everything. Sorry, mom, shout out to mine. And I feel like, you know, the way that we speak to them and the way that, you know, if someone on your team or whatever is struggling, like the way that we help them, the way that we hope it's just everything. I mean, I could go on and on. It's just such an act of worship and shifting our perspective to that is good. But I am I want to go back to the verse that you said, and Morgan, you might have to correct me. It's Second Corinthians It's 12 or 10, yeah, something like that. Yeah, it's one of those looking for it the other day. But I'm reading right now. How did I not know that? No, it's okay. I'm not worried about the numbers, but I've loved that verse, and we've you it's funny. Almost every podcast that we've recorded, someone has brought up that verse. And I think it's really unique how like a lot of things we're talking about is the things that we are weak at and bringing that into a space of like, hey, I mean, if you listen to the episode with Krista, I mean, she talks about her eating disorder and yeah, and like that was a week. 2 Corinthians 12 9. 12-9. Okay. Go read that with your eyes. And then you were talking, there's another thing that you said that I thought was really good. Oh, you know, we talked a whole weekend about you were like made on purpose for a purpose and like why God specifically made your body. Why the heck else wouldn't you use it for him? Like, unless you just don't believe that God specifically and intentionally made you, like, why else would you I mean, he's giving you like every ability to to do that.

SPEAKER_04 14:10

Yeah, and I think too listening to y'all talk with perfectionism, you know, because I went through that with high school too. Mine was school. If I didn't have an A, I was a failure. Like, and I think so many people that are listening, like, yeah, like I I feel like a lot of people probably identify with that. And it's like if I don't get a 98 or a 99 or a hundred, like it's like I have done something that's wrong. And I think the older that I've gotten and I see it more identified, you know, just my counselor has really helped me kind of identify that sin and in other areas of my life. I've realized per perfectionism, if you really get down to the bottom of it, is I've put the spotlight way too much on myself. Yep. Yeah. And it's like I've put all of the burden on myself and it's about me, and that is idolatry. And I think that's what's hard is perfectionism is this, well, it's it's about you and about what you can do. And John 15 5 is clear like apart from me, you can do nothing, declares the Lord. And I think the trap of perfectionism, it really just, man, it just goes down into guilt and shame. And Romans 8 1, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Because it's like Alexa, what you're saying, and Charlotte Gracie, you said this too. I don't know if y'all caught this, but you said the same thing. You're like, you focus more on the things that you didn't than the things that the Lord allowed you to do. And again, like the enemy's trying to sneak in and be like, you know what, is about you. Like if you go back to the garden, the enemy tried to make, well, God's withholding something from you. And at the end of the day, we have three voices in our our heads. We've got the enemy, we've got ours, and we've got the Lord. And the Lord is the quietest voice that we'll ever listen to. Is a whisper. But our voice and the enemy's voice, that's gonna be that voice of like, you kidding me? That pass went into the net. Is that right, Alexa? Sorry. Like that that dance move was terrible. Like, you know, like he's just that he's all about you, you, you, you, you. And the Lord's like, uh-uh, it's about me, me, me, me, me. You know, and I just I don't know, like I just I'm looking at Charlie Grace right now and I'm like, Charlotte Grace, tell us, tell people what's happened in the past week of your life.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

Okay, I will, but give me one second. I wanna I wanted to touch on that.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

I have a thought. Okay, go go.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

I just feel like your life right now is literally exhibiting what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_03 16:31

Okay, so uh first of all, I wanted to say, like, when you're looking at yourself, the more the more you look at this yourself, the more you're gonna notice what an awful thing you are. Yeah. And that's why the Lord created us to look at him. That's right. Because as long as we keep looking at him, we're gonna have hope and we're gonna have a purpose and we're gonna have a future. But the longer we look at ourselves, the more we notice our weaknesses, and our weaknesses can only be perfected through him.

SPEAKER_04 16:58

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

And okay, anyways, so the past two weeks, a week? Who knows? Almost two weeks. Not I. So I obviously I dance, and I was at dance tryouts, and my I've had two knee surgeries in the past, and they're they're for an M MPFL tear, and that's a ligament that holds your knee in place, and they were on my left knee, and so I've been I've had two surgeries, and this knee, she's she's all good. No more surgeries on that knee ever, hopefully knock on wood. But I was at dance trials, and nothing had been wrong with my knee all week. And I was practicing a skill, I was doing a front walkover, and my right knee just popped out of place, and it stayed that way for a long time. And honestly, it was crazy how it all happened because like I was sitting there and I actually spoke to one of my friends, and she was like, I thought you were laughing at yourself, and because I was I was crying, and like my coaches came over and they were like, Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And okay, never is there a trainer at Garden High Garden High School that I know of. Never. And there was a trainer at Gardener High School that day, and he came over and he put my knee back in place. That was amazing. I know, and he put my knee back in place and he put some ice on it, and we waited for my parents to get there. My parents, my mom got there, and she was already like, her face is already red, she was crying, and all this. And I was like, Mom, you have to stop crying, otherwise I'm gonna start crying again. And so they like carried me out, like got me in the car. I actually had to come back for my stuff because we left my stuff at this at the school, and then we went home and we were just talking about like like there there's a chance that I won't be on dance team this year. And I was scary, that was confusing, but I I knew the Lord had a plan. And it was crazy though, because I went to the weekend that night and I kept going to the weekend, and uh Jeremiah 21, uh 29, 11 came up a bunch, and that was crazy because I was sorry, I'm crying. You're good, you're okay, girl. That was the verse that I had had on my heart all week. For I know the plans I have for you to claim to the Lord. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

Yeah, somebody else talking about it. Like, you know, why have you share that part of your story right now is it's anything for perfect. Yeah. You know, and a perfectionist would walk in and their weekend would be completely robbed. And I think like you steward this suffering real well. Yeah. And I think it's cool to watch like both of you. I know trials that both of you have walked through, and watch you use those moments of like, you know what? It's not about me. It is not about my body, it's not about the things that I want. Lord, whatever that I walk through in this life, it will not be perfect. But you will use it. You will use it in a way like think about a year ago, Charlotte Grace, like when you got hurt, and I can think about things in Alexa's life too. Like things that you did not want to walk through. But I bet you both are glad that you did. Oh, yeah. Because of your relationship with the Lord. It got sweeter. And I think that's one of the lies of perfectionism is it tries to rob intimacy with the Lord because it goes back to the idol of self where both of you, I know for a fact, and you're walking through it this week, dependence upon the Lord is like that's not that's not all pretty, that's not all perfect. It's like a day-by-day faith in a holy and a perfect God. Yeah. Putting our eyes on a perfect God, knowing that we are frail, but thankful in a weird way, I'm sure, of walking through this week where it's like it's been tough because like you're probably only seeing the things that you could potentially lose or the things that you may not get or the things that have been interrupted by this. But how the Lord sees it is look at all the things I'm gonna give her that are not maybe just tangible, but things that you would never experience any other way. I think that's just one of the battles that we it doesn't matter if you know you've hurt yourself or not, we're all gonna face that battle of perfectionism. And you can choose to, all right, I'm gonna focus on me and I'm gonna be perfect. What a draining life. Yeah, it's exactly. Or you can say, you know what, I am very imperfect. I am the chief of all sinners, but my God, my God is holy and perfect and righteous and good, and he never will allow things in my life, but they all always have a purpose.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

Yeah. Well, and I think that like with perfectionism, you don't ever learn how to rest. Like, I mean, I think we can all say that's such an exhausting place to be.

SPEAKER_04 21:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

And eventually it's like, oh my gosh, just find rest in the fact that Jesus is perfect. Like, you don't have to be. And I think we talked about this in one one of the other podcasts, we've talked about a lot. Of just like, Jesus is that standard of perfection, so that you don't you don't have to be like that's right, He He died on the cross, he defeated all of that. Like you do not have to find perfection in anything that you do, and I think like the enemy for some reason that's just a thing that he uses in all girls and probably guys too. I can't relate to guys, but I'm sure that it's like completely in completely different ways. But I just know for me as a girl, like we look in the mirror and we don't like what we see. And honestly, like an enemy is like, well, your your hair is not perfect and your outfit's not perfect, and and it's it's literally just lies. Like, that's all it is. That's all that perfectionism is. But I just want to tell you, I'm encouraged by your spirit with all of it. Like, I know that, like Morgan was saying, that could have stolen your joy from the whole weekend, and it didn't. Girl was being pushed around in her wheelchair. She said, Sydney, where can I leave my wheelchair so I don't have to take it home? Um, and just the joy that you had was simply not from anything of this world or anything that you could have done. That's right, yeah. It's because you knew who your God was. That's right, yeah. And I just want to encourage you with that because I know that this is difficult that you're walking through, and but I'm proud of you. So thank you, Sydney. You're doing great. But Alexa, do you have anything to add to any of that?

SPEAKER_02 23:20

I'd probably say that I also think perfectionism comes from comparison. Absolutely. And I talked about this in October when I shared my testimony at midweek, but I've struggled a lot with comparison, especially in the past year. And I will say there's a girl on my team, and like she's really good, and I compare myself to her every single day. Like every single thing she does, I'm just like, well, I want to do that. Like it's weird, but it's also like I feel like relatable because it's just like comparing yourself to these people, like, even if it's somebody you see who's like playing college, like whatever sport you play, and it's just like, well, how can I get to that level? But it's also just like trusting God and just like have how to learn how to trust God with whether I'll go to college or not, or wherever I will go. Like, I can't, I'm not gonna pick, like worldly or not. Like, I can't pick what college I go to, but like God has a plan for me and He's known where I'm gonna go. So I just think that's where I'm struggling right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

It's hard. I was talking to somebody the other day, and they were just talking about like, okay, I know that I'm supposed to trust God, and I have told people that I trust God, but I don't believe it in my heart. And that's so hard. Cause I and I've always struggled with that too. Like, okay, God, like I do trust you, like I do want what's best or what your best is. And it's like, why can't I find peace in that? And I don't really know. Like, I think that just continues in like walking with the Lord and learning more about Him and experiencing Him more comes with that. But I don't know, what do you think about Yeah?

SPEAKER_04 24:55

I think it's it's discipline over time, like trusting not emotions and not circumstances, but who your God is. I think it's walking with the Lord for a minute because you know who he is. I think too, like both of these girls just shared their stories, like Alexa with comparison and Charlotte Grace with all the things with her her knee. I mean, sometimes you just have to walk through some stuff. And that's when God gets your attention. Like I remember the first time God truly got my attention, and I was like, the only way I can describe that season was I feel like a rug was pulled out from underneath me and I was on my back and I couldn't get up.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:30

And I think when you trust in the Lord, you know, in those moments, it's it's literally Proverbs 3, 5, and 6. You're leaning not on your own understanding, what you think is right, what you feel is right, what you believe to be right, it is what is right, what is the Lord. Lean not on your understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he, he, he will direct your path.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah. I so obviously I don't like play sport or nothing like that, but I am very perfectionist in the gym. And there's a few gym people that listen to this and they will hear that and be like, yes. So, like the past few weeks, we've had like the weekend. I think I was sick one of those weeks, and then we were all so I've had some setback in the gym, okay? And the past week and a half of being back in there, I said something to the guy that coaches in there, and I was like, I'm gonna get back into it. Like, he was like, Sydney, you I think you've PR'd three times since you've been back, and you're so beat up over the fact that like you didn't deadlift what you could deadlift weeks ago, and it's just like, oh, you're right. And it's the same thing. I mean, we find it in so many aspects of our life. I was just kind of thinking about something that I tell myself, and this is kind of just for anybody listening, and this has really helped me say it's in the gym or whatever, whether there's comparison, whatever that looks like. It was Brent Cooper, and I think that I had already stopped recording when we did the episode with him, and he said this, and I was like, Why did I stop recording? He said, You are the number one person that you talk to, and I have it like written down on my desk. I think about it all the time. So thank you, Coop, for that one. And I had to think about it yesterday because it was it was yesterday when I was like, I'm gonna get back into it. I promise, I'm gonna I'm gonna get back. And he was just like, Calm down. It's okay. He said, Are you in your word? And I was like, Oh, thanks. Um, and I just kept telling myself, like, you're the number one person that you talk to. How are you talking to yourself? Like, what are you saying to yourself? Are you speaking life over to yourself or are you tearing yourself down? Because the things that you're saying to yourself that are not true, that's from the enemy. And like, you don't want to listen to him anyway. I know you don't. So I would just like encourage everybody with that. And then another thing that came to my mind, just kind of like wrap everything. And I think one thing that you guys are doing really well is being close enough to God to like hear his whisper and hear what he has for you. I think Pastor Kevin said that, and I wanted to like grab hold of that thought and like not let it go of like that's what I that's what I want. I want to be close enough to the Lord to be able to hear the whisper because he's not coming in like thunder, he's not coming in like a storm, even though we're gonna go through storms in our life, but even in that storm being like close enough to him to be able to hear him. And so thank y'all for being on here. Thank you. Y'all are awesome, and I'm just so proud of where each of you guys are. And I think that these are two really awesome girls. If y'all want other girls to talk to and hang out with, they would love. We'll see y'all next time.