How to be Joyful

Sydney, Morgan and Truitt are joined with Ireland Dodd to explore what it means to experience genuine joy even in the midst of grief and pain. Together, we'll look at what Scripture teaches about God's presence in our hardest moments, how joy differs from happiness, and why hope in Christ can sustain us through seasons of loss. Whether you're walking through grief yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers biblical encouragement and practical reminders that even in sorrow, God's faithfulness remains constant.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to OffScript, a conversation with no fakes, no filters, just real conversations about how faith and flesh meet in the everyday life, where we experience a God who made us on purpose for his purpose. This is off script. Let's talk.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Hey guys, welcome back to OffScript. This is a fun day because we're in our new podcast studio. And I'm here with Morgan Truitt and the one and only Ireland I. What's up? If y'all don't know Ireland, you're missing out. But Ireland was used to be in our student ministry and graduated, graduated in 2023. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. I remember you were in my life group, and then you like graduated early. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

You like skipped a grade. I dropped out of high school. Not actually. I I went homeschooled and then I graduated early from that and then went to college.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

That's crazy. And then we have Truitt on here because Truitt hasn't been on one. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yeah, first one. And sick.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

And Morgan is our normal, basically co-host at this point. But but yeah, I'm excited to be in our new podcast studio. If y'all hear some noise, we're still just dealing with the the gym and things like that. But I'm excited to do this today. So, Ireland, you have a really cool story, and I really just want you to share it with everybody. And I'm sure a lot of people already know it. But girl, you just take it away. Tell everybody a little bit about you, and then just kind of jump right in.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

Sure. Did you want to do the icebreaker question? Oh, yeah. I forgot about the icebreaker question. How did you forget the I don't really think we need an icebreaker, but this is Ireland. This is my request.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

You ask it.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Yes. If you could get any tattoo, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Man, tattoos are a sin.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

I'm actually with Druid on this one. I don't like tattoos, yeah. You think it's a sin? I do, yeah. But okay. But okay, I will say there's no judgment. Like if, like, for example, I have a lot of very close people in my life that have one, and there's zero judgment. Right. Yeah. My personal conviction.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Okay, is it a personal conviction or a sin?

SPEAKER_05 2:19

Personally, I do agree with you. I think the case is pretty clear. Do not mark your body.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

I was being sarcastic. I like tattoos.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

Okay, well then it's just me again.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

Thursday evening. I actually have one, but it it does not show anywhere. So people would, I mean, it's just like right on my ribs. So people don't even know that I have one.

SPEAKER_03 2:40

But what is it?

SPEAKER_02 2:43

It says, I am with you, and the I am like the A and M is capitalized. Yeah. So do you want a tattoo?

SPEAKER_03 2:50

I do. I want a chair. Yep, I want a chair. Can you hear me? Where do you want it? I want it on my wrist. Okay. What does it mean? My chair. What does my chair mean? Let me tell you. So when my dad passed away, there was a piece of scripture I clung to every day, and it was Psalm 23. And even before dad passed, this one verse always struck me. It was, you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. And I just always was like, what does that mean? And then our young adult with Madison Terry, he led us through during the summer series, Psalm 23, and it was a year after dad had passed. And we really like dove deep into it. And we came to that verse where you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. And it just clicked all of a sudden. And I was like, oh, I get it now, God. Just as my earthly father had loved me, like he brought a table to the chair, no matter how what state I was in, whether I was weak or sinful, whatever it was, like he he he prepared a table before me with the chair. And I was just thinking, how much more does my heavenly father do that for me? And so that's what the chair means for me. And that's why I want it on my wrists. Oh, I messed up puddle tears.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Or podcast. Oh my gosh. On tattoos. So sweet. That's funny. That is really cool. I feel like when they have meaning like that, I guess I see y'all side of it. But I don't know. It's it's a good way to be reminded, even though you never see mine because it's on my ribs. But okay, well, share us a little bit. I know you kind of briefly talked about your dad, but just kind of share a little bit or all of your story, however much you want.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Sure. Yeah. I guess we can start. I was about around age 16. And at this point in my life, I was 100% just doing what Ireland wants to do, living it up. And um, I guess to the world standards. I had a lot going for me. I was like on dance team. I I would be considered probably in the more popular group crowd. So I was like, I was, you know, socially acceptable and thriving, honestly.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Well, it's hard not to like Ireland. It is. She's the best.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Keep coming, keep coming. Just kidding, just kidding. Unless, anyways, and so yeah, I had it all going for me. But I had this like itch to drop out of school and go homeschooled. And I was like, why? And and at that time I was not living for the Lord, but I did just have this like inkling of like, oh, I want to change my path. And I remember reaching out to Morgan Ramsey the summer before sophomore year. Once again, at this point, I am just like living this secular lifestyle to the extreme. And yet I just felt pressed to reach out to Morgan. And Morgan, like Morgan does in her Morgan goodness, she gave me resources. She like answered my phone call and like prayed with me and talked to me. And we had a really good conversation about it. And I ended up going homeschooled. I graduated early. And because of that, like my dad got to see me graduate. I went to the local community college in town. And I loved it there. I was in their dance program and it was all good. But the summer before going into the college was Beach Week. And it was Caleb Wade. It was the year where let your light shine forth. One of my favorite years. I know. It's so memorable. Um and so I actually like this thing. It's like nice noise counseling.

SPEAKER_05 6:50

She loves her headphones, guys.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

I like take them off. I'm experimenting, seeing what I like. Anyways, and so it's the yeah, beach week, I guess 2023. Yeah, 2023. And left feeling so full, so hyped, so full of the Lord. And at this point in my life, through the process of like going homeschooled and graduating early, like the Lord took me from a 180. Like the mainly because the schooling program I was doing was Christian-based. So I was force-fed Christian stuff. And I was like, what is this nonsense? Oh, this is not nonsense. I've been living nonsense. This is truth. And so, yeah. So from then on, I just like fully started living my life for the Lord. And so, yeah, involved in the 2023 summer beach camp. And I got back that night, and recently something our family started doing was praying before our meals, and which was pretty abnormal for us. And just a normal night just with my family, my dad, my mom, my brother, just having a good time. And the next day rolls around, and I had a free day that day. So I remember just journaling, reflecting on the goodness of God from beach week. I was like, oh my goodness, God, you are so good. I'm so full of your presence and all your goodness. Thank you for how far you've taken me. And yeah, just really just soaking in that beach week and just reflecting on all that. And then from that point, I uh throughout the day, I was like, you know, dad's typically home around this time. I don't know like why. Maybe he stopped by Harbork Freight. Like that was just his thing. Like after work, like sometimes he stopped by, you know, Lowe's, whatever. I think the classic dad thing to do. And I just I had a little uneasy spirit about it, but I was just like, it's okay. I remember going up to my bedroom, laying down, chilling out, and then I hear my mom like suddenly just come into the house and like slam the door, and she's like, something's wrong. And I'm like, what do you mean? And I have never till this day have seen my mom like white faced, just like she had like seen something horrific. And I was like, what? And she's like, Your dad has been in a car accident. And I'm like, What? And I was just in disbelief. I was in shock. And I just remember her being like on her knees weak. And I was like, Do you know anything? And she's like, No. And I was like, okay. So we were just in this place of unknown. We were in a in the in the waiting room. And we were just there together. And I just, once again, disbelief. I just had this overwhelming comfort though of the father in that moment. And it was just like, he's okay. And I was like, he's okay. Um, and so I remember like having to make these phone calls and being like, you know, dad's been in an accident, all these people start coming in and all the things, and we're with our family, and state troopers come and and they they tell us how dad had passed away. And I will never forget that day. It rocked my world and everything just flipped upside down. And the first thing I did was call Morgan Ramsay and Aliyah. And I remember sitting in front of my house outside, outside of the house in the yard, and having the most bizarre experience where the worst thing that anyone could experience, losing their dad tragically, you know, one of many things, of course, but definitely one of not the not top 10, you know, best things in the world. But just sitting there and just having this like overwhelming comfort, and dare I say joy. I had this joy because it was I was surrounded by people that were his people, and I felt his presence near me in that moment. And I and I cling to that every day. And so yeah, I've been in the grief process for the past three years, and I will continue to be in it the rest of my life. But that is my story. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Um, I feel like I remember when that happened, but I also remember Morgan always talks about how when you were sitting, well, she doesn't, I I've always asked her. I check in on, you know, how I'm silent doing. But she always would always mention the you sitting on the front lawn and always saying, like, say it with me, like, God is good. God is good, God is good. And I think like, you know, you were just such a picture of joy. Like, I think anyone that knows you, when I was sitting here thinking, like, like it says it up on the board, like off script ideas, how to be joyful, and then Ireland. Like, you're the first person that we I think of when I think of just like undescribable joy. And I think, like, obviously, that is not from Ireland, oh, like at all. And that's the difference. That's what people don't understand is like your circumstance really earthly should not require joy. And it does, like, you were joyful, and so that has just been the coolest thing for me to watch. I don't know about if y'all want to.

SPEAKER_05 12:01

When I think about Ireland, I think about sorry, got emotional listening to her. James won, count it all joy. My brethren, when you face trials of many kinds, for the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, leading that you would be complete lacking in nothing. And Ireland, I want you to kind of walk through a little bit of what does like daily grief look like? Because I mean, I you've you've told me, like I know it's it's every day is a new day with the Lord. And I think when you walked through that, and I remember Aliyah and I going home that day. God, why am I so emotional today? But just thinking about how you and you have done this, my friend, for the past three years, you steward suffering really well. And you have lived out that James one the testing that tested your faith. But it produced steadfastness in you.

SPEAKER_04 13:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:06

It did. Yeah. You know, and I think even though you probably don't see that, like you see the ups and downs, but just is somebody that's had a front row seat to your life for many years, you know, that has produced steadfastness, not in character or goodness by you know, defined by the world, but godliness. So kind of walk us through because grief is overwhelming, you know, and I know that you've had days where you're not okay.

unknown 13:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:40

Can you walk through the balance for those listening of this joy, but also this grief? Like, how can those two coexist?

SPEAKER_03 13:49

Oh, yeah. Levity and gravity can coexist. Yes. 100%. And that has been like one of the biggest takeaways from this experience in my life. And I think number one is the grief experience in particular is unpredictable. Like you never know if something's gonna trigger you, if you know, and whatever that may look like, whether that is a joyful thing or whether that is like just a hardship, whatever that may look like. But yeah, it's unpredictable. So you have to have this like just trust in the Lord every day, you know? And I think that is what I've that's what I've clung to. And like my intimacy with the father has increased greatly through this suffering. It has, yeah. Like, like it's like he is near the brokenhearted, and like that, that's a record of his faithfulness. That's what I cling to every day in that. And I I never would want you know, my dad to, I never would want the circumstance to be like it is, but I have to trust that God is sovereign. I have to trust that he is almighty, that he has steadfast love, and that he wants the best for his children. And I have to trust in the truth of his word and what he says and not what I say every day. So I think that's what my joy has looked like every day is making that active choice of choosing it, of rejoicing, like the stirring of the joy. That's what I think of in rejoicing. Like it's a stirring of the joy of the Lord. And yeah, it is just a trust in the Lord every day.

SPEAKER_05 15:34

How do you command your soul to be joyful? Because I think there's moments where it's like I don't feel like this. Yeah. Because that's when the enemy can come in and be like, it start to kind of ask those questions and chip away that trust and that faith. When things are good, it's like, no, I can trust in the Lord. But when there's moments where there's grief and there's death, the enemy can try to come in and be like, oh, what about now? What about now? Look at Job. He tried to do that with Job, and Job was steadfast in the Lord. Like, how do you, how do you I think about David commanding his soul to worship the Lord? Like, what did that look for you? Like when you're in the bed, it's two o'clock in the morning, you can't sleep, and you're overwhelmed with grief. How do you command your soul to be joyful in the Lord?

SPEAKER_03 16:21

Yeah, I recently heard this thing from Tim Keller, and he said that do not listen to yourself, but talk to yourself. And so, yes, like I think there is value in noticing your emotions and like what your experience is, but at the end of the day, it's like, how are you combating that? Are you and so I think like in those responses, I notice what I'm if in that grief process. And obviously, I think there is a sense of just awareness of my emotions that is like connected to this. So I'm like, okay, I notice that I'm feeling sad about this. But it's like, okay, that's that's okay. Jesus wept, you know, but also it's like, yeah, he did. Like Jesus wept, and that's biblical and that is good, you know. Um, and he designed us with these emotions. So there's absolutely value in that. And I think also coupled alongside that though, is certainly like being like, but this is the truth. And so, and it's a practice, and talk about joy is the fruit of the spirit, patience is the fruit of the spirit. That's good. And if I've learned anything throughout the grief process, is like to have patience and compassion and to have grace for yourself throughout throughout it, even in the suffering.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Yeah. What is like do you feel like has been the surprising thing? I think sometimes when people walk through something hard, they feel like, oh, I don't know how I got through that, or like I guess it's maybe, and maybe the answer is you just saw the Lord's strength in you. But has there been anything that you've like since then that has really kind of shocked you? And then I want you to tell everybody kind of what you're doing now. Yeah. Just all that you're doing now. Yeah. I have something else to say.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Okay, okay, gotcha. Yeah, the most surprising, I think the idea that joy and grief can coexist because I naturally am a more optimistic, positive outlooker. And I like early on in the process, I would just kind of like avoid my feelings or just kind of shut them down. But I realize there's so much value and like the whole range. Like, God doesn't just ask for joyful Ireland, He also asks for the grief Ireland and the hard Ireland. And I think that is what makes the joy all the more greater and I guess in some ways more rewarding because you realize like how you know how much that grief and that darkness can hurt you. So, yeah, I definitely would say just the full range from grief to joy and how those can coexist 100% has been.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

That's sad Ireland. It just shows how big he is. Okay, what are you tell everybody what you're doing now? I just I the only reason I ask this is because I feel like you were anywhere and everywhere and you were doing all these fun things, and you like went to Africa and Pilates class. Yeah, like I just feel like you're thriving in this. But I also probably understand that there are days that are extremely hard. And like just because maybe you're doing all these things that look fun or they and maybe they are really great, yeah. There's also still those days that are really hard. And I think that's that's just really real.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Yeah. So I'm so glad you asked that, Sydney, because like I didn't realize, and this can also go to the shock factor of like the collateral effect of my dad passing, of like how many changes were gonna happen in my life that I did not expect.

SPEAKER_04 19:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:57

Like moving out of my childhood home, like my mom getting married, that's a thing, you know, like all these new going, moving away and going to like a new state for college. And so a lot of transition, a lot of change. And I was just like, where's my security and where's my stability? Because I was just kind of, I was, I had a lot of anxiety from it because there were all these like new experiences from after my dad left that I I it it was only because of him kind of thing. And it was just more evidence that like, oh, he isn't with us. So like those moments would like hit me like a rock. I'm like, oh, like that hurts. But I mean, the now what I'm doing, despite like all those like hardships and stuff, I think once again it's making that active choice of choosing joy. And that looked like, you know, going out of state to this college that the Lord opened this door for me. And it was maybe not even a year after my dad passed, and I was just in denial of going. I was like, no, I need to stay home. I need to be with my family. And I think that was more of like a comfort of security. But instead, like God was calling me out to step out in faith. And I was like, I'm gonna be obedient just like I have in the past, and I have senior faithfulness, so I trust in that and I'm gonna do that. So now I'm in school at Bellhaven. I'm studying psychology and I'm a minor in dance. Yeah, she is. Uh yeah. So through this dance, I get to get my degree in like or certification in Pilates. So now I'm teaching Pilates, and it's so cool. I get to bring it to this small town in Coleman, and I get to like share my like knowledge and love. And it's like the only studio in town. And so it's so cool that I get to like share all this knowledge and all this goodness I've learned from Bellhaven. And then I'm doing psychology. So my end goal is to be Dr. Dodd. I want to be a psychologist. And Dr. Dot. Yeah, Dr. Dot. D-O-D-D. All right. So yeah, that's the plan. And I I want to work with grief. I want to, and so yeah, I want to help people through this. And so yeah, I think like the key is like, even though my circumstances were not what I wanted, I chose to look to the Lord and find contentment in him. But also I like try to cultivate what brings that joy. And that looked like working at the Pilates studio. It looked like working at this coffee shop. It looked like cultivating godly friendships that bring me joy. So it was like I also had to put forth the effort of things that brought me joy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:41

Can I ask you a question, Arlen? How important is it? Sorry. Yeah. Actually, like four questions on this podcast. You're talking about like ministering to other people. And I think with counseling, one of the things I literally talked to my counselor today, I think one of the important things is having people around you. Like, talk about, like I think about people in your life like Angie. Yes. And I think about Grace. Like I think about people that Aliah, like I think about people in your life. Like how important is it when you walk through grief?

SPEAKER_04 23:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

Talk about that kind of balance of I'm sure it's hard to let people in. Because a lot of people they don't understand. Yes. They do not understand. Right. So what is that balance of loving people and inviting people into grief when you know that they don't get it, but that but they love Jesus. They can they can give you wisdom and they can give you scripture.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

You know, so what does that look like? Ooh, that's good. People are crucial. Something that Michelle Mann shared with me is so this speech that was shared at her son's graduation of like the, you know, at every airport there's a discombobulation station. Or wait, there's discombobulation and then there's a recombobulation station. Sorry. So you're all discombobulated to say crazy. Recombobulation. Wow, lots of words. So yeah, there's a recombobulation station at the airport after you go through all the craziness of TSA and all the the things. And like the three key things of like, you know, and connecting that to real life of like, okay, what can my recombobulation station look like? It's like one, pray to God. And then two, people. And then three, like the place that brings me peace. And so like 100% it has been like the people that I've walked alongside that has gave me strength when even I didn't see it or I needed that encouragement. It's the church. Absolutely, it's the church. And so yeah, I think there's a key of like humility there of allowing people who may have not understood or been in your shoes of just like, even though they don't understand, that's okay because they do have something to share. And yes, yes, and they have the spirit. And so yeah, I think that has been crucial to my gr grief process. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:53

What are some scriptures? I love that you were talking about earlier. Gosh, I wish that I would have stopped you and you could have said it again because it was so good. Talking about the importance of praying out loud. I think there's such power in reading God's word aloud. What were some scriptures that maybe in the initial stages after your daddy passed away, but even now, like, what are some scriptures that they just took hold in your life? And it's like, my word, like God's word is alive and living and active. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Oh my goodness, so many. I like every day I voice aloud scripture in my prayer. Like that is like that has been my steady anchor all the time. And I would say Romans 12, one through two, may I be a living and pleasing sacrifice, not conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewing of my mind. And I think what's key in that is the renewing part. And I think, Morgan, you share that with me of just like knowing that it's like an active process. And then I would say, trust in the Lord with all my heart. Do not lean on your own understanding in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. And so I would say that one. There's, I mean, just and obviously Psalm 23, like I'm I meditate on that frequently of just like finding that comfort. God, I shall lack nothing. Like you are my shepherd. You are gonna guide me. You lead me beside still waters, you make me lie down in green pasture. So just trusting that I have a good shepherd that cares for me and provides for all of my needs. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Yeah, yeah. That's really cool. Well, in case you ever got like 27 minutes in, the true it is on this.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

I've been trying to jump in, but morning's too quick. It's too quick. It's too great.

SPEAKER_04 26:41

Not the morning's gonna feel bad.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

No, no, don't feel bad, Morgan. Don't feel bad, Morgan.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Um, I was gonna let you, if you just had anything for Ireland or whatever you wanted to say.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Yeah, well, I was just gonna say, like, Ireland, I've never heard your story before. So that was really, really good to like hear your testimony, your story, and really encouraging. And and I was just thinking about like how encouraging that that can be for somebody that is like going through grief or like just getting into that time because I was thinking about that, like, that that state of being in grief, and that's when people I mean, when you get there, you have two choices. You can turn to the Lord, you can turn away from the Lord. And sadly, I feel like majority of people turn away from the Lord, and that's when they fall in a lot of things of this world. But just like hearing your testimony and seeing, like, okay, if I turn to the Lord, I can still be joyful. And like they were telling me before, like you're one of the most joyful people, and I can tell that just meeting you now, you know, and just being in this room that you're one of the most joyful people. And whenever I was like kind of thinking about this, I'm gonna be talking about joy. I was looking up scripture and I found Philippians 4, 4. It says, Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say to you, rejoice. And I was just thinking, like, like joy, joy is not necessarily like it is like a feeling that we feel, but it's more of a calling, like it's a calling to us. And I heard you say that a couple times of like I have to choose joy. So I just thought that was really awesome. It could be a great encouragement to people out there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:56

That's awesome, that's really good. I know that this podcast has run long, so I knew we needed probably close, Sydney, but I do want to say one thing. I'm not gonna cry, so I probably won't look at Ireland. You know, I've known Ireland for a really long time, and I don't think it's any surprise. I mean, just listen, and we've got a great relationship. Ireland, I'm gonna say something. I hope that this is okay. I've never noticed until now how much you look like your dad. Like physically, but I was sitting here thinking, listening to your story. Of course, I've always thought you act like your dad. Sure. Of course, of course. You ever know good heavens, yeah. But you've always, you know, you've always acted like I'm I've just now noticed how much you look like your dad. But then I the spirit said, but how much more does she look like me, her heavenly father? And I think I can speak for this whole room. You have stewarded this season so well. Yeah. In this suffering, so well, just like Truit said, many people they walk through things like this and they turn away. And this has made your faith stronger. And I just have been thinking as you've been talking, just sitting here, man, she looks so much like our earthly daddy. How much more do you look like your physical father, your eternal father? And I just, oh man, just gave me chills just thinking about how many people are I'm sure listening to this podcast are gonna so benefit even the people down the road that you're gonna minister to because you have walked through something that the Lord has allowed you to walk through for his glory and your good. Amen. So I just wanted to just wanted to say that. So last thing, I'm not gonna say one more word because I'll probably try.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Well, Arlen, we love you and you're awesome. I love it. Just honestly honored that you're sitting at this table. So you're you're amazing, and I hope many people listen to this because they're gonna need it. But we love you. Thank you for being with you.