Carry The Fire Podcast
Inspiring ordinary people to know God intimately and disciple others courageously.
Carry The Fire Podcast
The Power in a Present Father w/ Aaron Wallace | EP.13
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Every man wants to leave a legacy… but what if your greatest legacy isn’t your career, your money, or your accomplishments?
In this powerful conversation, Pastor Aaron Wallace delivers a wake-up call for fathers, husbands, and men everywhere: your children will remember your presence far more than your success.
This episode dives deep into:
Fatherhood and legacy
Presence vs provision
God as Father
Raising children with intentionality
Breaking generational cycles
Why success at work can still mean failure at home
If you’re a father, husband, leader, or man pursuing purpose… this message could change your priorities forever.
Your name at work may fade.
But your family will remember who you were.
Be present. Build legacy. Make your name mean something at home.
#Fatherhood #Legacy #ChristianMen #FamilyFirst #GodlyMen #Parenting #KingdomMen #carrythefire
Intro Song: The Preparation
Composer: BatchBug
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Your greatest legacy is in front of you in your home. Nobody will remember your name at work. Nobody will remember a business that you started 30 years from now, that place, whether it's there or not there, nobody will care. Nobody will remember your accolades. Nobody cares about those accolades, but your children will be your greatest legacy, and they will remember every moment that you were with them and every moment that you were not with them. They will remember the moments that you were present and the moments that you were not present. And I would charge those men if you want the greatest legacy in life, they are in the lives of your children and your spouse. I don't want to negate wives. They are in your legacy of your family. And I say that, man, with, and I say that not just like, well, maybe. I'm telling you, I couldn't tell you who the 18th president president of the United States is, couldn't tell you the 20th. I could tell you the popular ones, Washington, Lincoln, you know, some of those, I couldn't tell you who those are. Here's where the men that held the highest office in our nation couldn't tell you the 18th, 19th, 20th president us. Nobody will remember you in those ways, but your children will. And I would tell these men go home and live the greatest legacy you could ever live in your life. Be with your family, pour into your family because they know when you were present and when you were not present. If you want to make a name, if you want to make a name, make a name for Jesus in your family. And I promise you, that's got eternity behind it.
SPEAKER_05Well, welcome everybody to Carry the Fire, a podcaster on the kingdom of heaven. We're excited to jump in this afternoon. Thanks, Aaron, so much for joining us.
SPEAKER_03So good to be here, man.
SPEAKER_05This is my buddy Aaron Wallace, pastor at Reliance Community Church in Wichita.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Lots is happening here, isn't it? Lots happening, man. God's on the move. We're hearing testimonies all over the world, and we get to be one little part of that. But yeah, it's it's been beautiful watching him change people's lives. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So it's pretty special. We were just sharing how this wall right here is uh pictures of real testimonies that a guy here at Reliance has captured. And so what I love about God is he's so vast, yeah, yet he's so personal. Yes, yeah. That's kind of what we're gonna jump in today is talking about a vast God who's high lofty and powerful, yeah. Yet his greatest desire is to draw near so good and to be a father, yes. And so, Aaron, I'd love to hear just a little bit of your journey of discovering God as the dad of your life.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, our my my journey, I I grew up in the church my whole life, and and uh I've shared it probably a few times, but uh my my journey really was watching my father really display the characteristics of a heavenly father. And so from the time that I can remember, you know, I remember uh my father talking about how good God was and just this intimate relationship, and he would never use the vague words of like, you know, the big guy up there and I are good. It was always no, the heavenly father, or you know, this intimacy with the Lord, intimacy with Jesus. And so that really got transplanted in our heart from a young age. Um I don't think it really f fully took root until later on in my life. I think we all have to go on our little discovery with the Lord, you know. So I knew the church terms and you know, I knew the Sunday school answers, I knew all that stuff, but it really wasn't until I I launched out um about that 18, 19 year old mark, and um had to face life on my own a little bit uh up in Manhattan at K-State and um what's that? Emaw. Yeah, Emo, let's go, Ema. And uh and in those days, you know, I was just praying for graduation, but in those days, uh I uh yeah, got involved in a fraternity, and you know, there's there's certain things in that fraternity life that weren't good, and it was drawing me um further away from the presence of the Lord. And so I'd always had the fear of the Lord, like in a healthy way, I think, and sometimes probably times in an unhealthy way. Uh, but it felt like my my first couple of years, I was drawn away from the Lord, and I felt that emptiness. When people say the Lord, and they go, but I just felt empty. I felt that emptiness, and I'd never felt that before. And I just remember hitting a place, probably about my my my junior year of college, I'll say that, where it was just a cry to the Lord of going, God, I I know who you are, I've always known you, but I'm distant. And man, if there was ever a word of that prodigal story of crying out to the Lord, turning around and realizing I didn't have to run down the road, man. He'd been running towards me. And so it wasn't like this long journey to get back with him. It was just literally turning around and he was there. And so that that was an undeniable experience of feeling the father's love in that moment. I had gone to a conference with a group called Navigators, and it marked my life, but it was really in that moment, it was the love of the Father enveloped me, and then it was a journey with him, you know. I I obviously not everything got perfect right away, but I just felt his loving hand on me throughout that time. Wow. And so that that for me was really how I came back to what I would describe as the heart of the Father. And then, of course, through that journey, just seeing scripturally what he had said about his heart for me and how much he desired to be with me, just changed everything.
SPEAKER_05So discovering God is dad.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Not intellectually, but experientially, yeah, changes everything.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and that's really what it was. I mean, I you know, I've got some scripture verses, but just God's desire to be with his children is just, I mean, Genesis to Revelation. Uh, one of my favorite verses, in fact, I wrote it down here just because I think it's uh um in my opinion, it's an important one, but it's it's Revelation 21, and and he talks about that he will be our God and we will be his sons. And there's just this identity of going like here at the very end of the age, he he's not changing that. It's not, he's not giving us a son-father relationship to get us through, and then it's different when we're with him forever. It's going to be that way forever. Wow. And I think that just really marked my life. And and uh so yeah, just you know, reading through scripture, seeing that God desired to be with me, not he had to be with me, he desired to be with me. Yeah, changed things from Genesis 3.8, that he walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the morning to, you know, realizing David, I uh one of my one of the guys I love to study the most is David. There's two things that marked me in David's life when he had messed up and I felt like I had a lot of mess ups in my life. Psalm 511, he says these words, cast me not away from your presence. That was the long of cast me not away from your presence, take not your Holy Spirit from me. What David's longing was wasn't like, punish me, do whatever you gotta do. Please don't take me away from your presence. And I think when I would read things like that, I'm like, I want the kind of relationship, God, where you got to bring a heavy hand, I'll welcome it, but please, Father, would your presence stay with me? And so I think it's just those little marking moments did some things in my life and reminded me of him.
SPEAKER_05So good. For you, Aaron, is the presence of God more experiential than theoretical?
SPEAKER_03Percent. Yeah. In fact, uh, I don't consider myself a deep theologian uh by any means. I'm all for theology. I think good theology and good doctrine is super important. I'm a Mark III guy. It says when he chose his 12 disciples whom he desired, he says he first brought them to be with him. I love that. And then he would send them out, and then they would have power to cast out demons. But before he would ever, you know, teach them and get them theologically trained up, it said that he first desired that they would be with him. And I think for me, I'm definitely more of a with him guy. And then you can send me out with all the good knowledge and information. I want the power and I want all those things. But boy, if I can just spend time with him, my whole life has changed. And so I think for me, that's what it's always been. Um, again, love theology, brother, and love doctrine. Don't want to knock any of those things, but I'm a with him experiential guy first. Yeah, that's so good. For sure.
SPEAKER_05I met this gal recently. Yeah, she's an older gal. Yeah. She spent the last 25 years with James Dobson. Oh man, yeah. And it was like her his executive assistant. Yeah. And they had become best friends. Yeah. It was like really interesting. I was like talking to her and I was saying, What's James Dobson like? Yeah. Yeah. Like, what would it have been like to be friends with James Dobson? Like such a prominent guy who was so well respected, fruitful, yeah, and clearly knew God deeply. Yeah. Like, what was it like to be in his presence? Yeah. Because I had never encountered being in James Dobson's presence.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I wonder though, if somebody asked you, Aaron, yeah, that says you've been in the presence of a prominent person named Yahweh, the Holy One of Israel, what's it like to be in the presence of God? How would you describe what it's like experientially to be in the presence of God?
SPEAKER_03To be completely honest with you, I I think going back to the scripture says in your presence is fullness of joy. There is a joy that I can't describe. I I'm not gonna paint the picture of life's been great and perfect. We've had trials and family, we've had ups and downs and marriage, we've had difficulties. I've been in ministry for 25 years, and uh, contrary to what everybody may think, ministry can be really, really difficult at times. And yet, through all those things, I will tell you, I don't know that I've ever lost my joy. Joy in sorrow, joy in trial, joy in difficulty. And so for me, the presence of God, man, the best way I can describe it is, man, when you're in your worst place and you're going, but I'm not alone. And you're in your worst place and you're like, I don't know what it is, but I've got hope for tomorrow. And I'll have this little saying I say at the end of every day, when I, especially in difficult days, I'm like, Jesus, at the end of the day, it's me and you, isn't it? And it's just me and him. At the end of the day, it's me and him. So it's like, you know, he's a friend like no other, he's closer than no other. And so I would say the way in which I would describe Yahweh to somebody is imagine never feeling alone. Imagine, and I mean that. I'm not trying to, again, I'm not trying to just paint semantics. There is this reality that when he is in you, life can be brutal. And yet I have hope for tomorrow. It's just different. And so I think that I don't know, that's probably how I describe it. So good. And so I get to uh uh experience him in those moments, even when things have been tough. And we've been through tough things, like through things where I'm going, Lord, I don't know how I would make it without you. So yeah, I mean I'm thinking of Psalms 23 as you say that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, you prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. The promise is never that you're gonna be protected from hard things. A hundred percent. The promise is I will be with you. Yeah, and then I will anoint your head with oil, and your cup of will overflow, even as I lead you into things that are difficult. You would never choose for yourself, right? But I'll be with you in them. Yeah. That's so powerful. There was just a couple verses I was thinking of. Yeah. Paul will talk about the presence of God in some pretty difficult circumstances. Absolutely. He'll say he has peace that surpasses understanding. Yeah. He'll say he's encountering love that surpasses knowledge. Yeah. And he'll Peter will talk about in 1 Peter 1 that he's experiencing joy that's inexpressible. So, like even as we're talking right now, I don't know if the listeners are going to get experience this. Yeah. But I'm experiencing the presence of God. Yeah. And there's nothing like it because it really is the essence of life. His presence is life. And so maybe if a person who's listening today, Aaron would say, in my sorrow, in my trial, in my tribulation, which Jesus said you'd have many of them. Right. Right. I'm experiencing despair, depression, discouragement, hopelessness, offense, anger, bitterness, frustration, all of the emotions that I'm experiencing, they resemble a lot more of death than it does life. What would be your encouragement for them to transition out of a place of experiencing death and their trial and their tribulation and their difficulty? Yeah. And actually embracing this thing that we're talking about that might be merely theoretical for them. Yeah. So that they could start to experience the presence of life in the season that they're in.
SPEAKER_03For me, and it may feel different to some, but I'm just I love the word of God. I believe it's lived. I don't believe it's just ideological. I don't, so for me, the word of God is everything. Uh Psalm 119, I just shared this with a brother the other day. I'm like going through just a time, I'm gonna call it dry season, maybe. I go, go live in Psalm 119, right? It's the longest chapter, longest place that you'll read in the Psalms, longest chapter of any of the books. And what's it all about? It's about the word of the Lord, and he'll say these words. David will say these words, life me according to word. He'll say, Give me life according to your word. But the translation is life me. Your word gives me life. Yeah, not your words as in though like they're written. Your word, they their life. I think of the disciples, you know, after Jesus is they're gonna give the really hard talk in in John 6, and everybody's gonna eventually leave. He'll turn to, you know, his crew. You guys can leave as well. To where else we go? You you carry the words of of life. Like where I find my sustenance and my, where I find my tomorrow is in your presence, in your words. And so, not just reading the Bible to read the Bible, I'm not talking about like I did my seven-minute devotional. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when you're reading the word and you feel like it's life in you. And so again, I know it's different for every person, but it's an invitation for those words to become life. So it's not just read them and then be like, well, it didn't do anything. It's read them, meditate on them, and let them soak into your life. It's an invitation for the Holy Spirit to come in and go, hey, breathe on this truth that I just read and ignite something in my heart. And so I think for me, like even in my worst places, when I get the word open, I'm like, we're gonna make it. Yeah, we're gonna be okay. Yeah. Like at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_05So Yeah, we just talk about Psalms 119. One of the phrases that he says is, How sweeter your words to my taste, sweeter than honey is to my mouth. And the Bible says in Psalms 34, taste and see. Yeah. Like you'll taste and you'll see that the Lord is good. And so one of the phrases I've been meditating on a little bit is when Jesus said in John 14, the Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth. Yes. And then Jesus said in John 8, you'll know the truth, and the truth will set you free. And so where freedom isn't present, probably truth isn't realized. And where truth isn't realized, we're not yet connected to the Holy Spirit. A hundred percent. And so when we get connected to his voice, yeah, what he speaks, he always tells us truth. Yeah. And I would say for lots of people, Aaron, what happens in life is God's truth doesn't match my experience. So my experience becomes my truth. 100%. Yeah. And there's this invitation that God uh brings us all into, and it takes a lot of trust. Yeah. And it takes another thing, which is the currency of the kingdom of heaven. It's faith. It is. And when his truth collides and doesn't seem to connect with my experience, what am I gonna do? Yeah. Am I gonna say that my experience is true? Yeah. Or am I actually gonna separate myself from my experience? And am I gonna say, you know what, I'm weak. Yeah. And the truth that I'm reading, the truth that I'm hearing from his word isn't my experience. What am I gonna do? And what I found is that when I choose in the place where I have despair and my sorrow, my difficulty and my tribulation, to believe his truth, even though it's not my experience, something supernatural happens. It becomes my experience. Yeah. And so I do think that there's an invitation to eat the word of God, yeah, and to really search and seek after what are the truths that I need to become an experience for me. That's so good. And when we surrender to them, we declare them. Yeah. Something supernatural in the Holy Spirit really does happen. You get free. You get free. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And you can't always explain it. Like somebody goes, I don't know, man. I it's like when I when I get to talk with people and their testimonies on this, and you're like, man, what like what set you free? And they're like, oh man, I was just in the word. And somebody just pointed me to something. I've read it a hundred times, and it was just like I read it again in this moment, and something just set me free. And so I know we're always trying to analyze what was it, what did it? And we we know it's the Spirit of God that sets the man's heart free. I mean, I believe this, but but there's something about that word, you know, when when our experience doesn't match that, we tend to go off of our experience or feelings. I remember seeing um not long ago a little diagram and it says, you know, you've got truth. The two engines that run this train are truth and faith, right? My faith and the truth of who he is. And I got this little caboose called feelings, right? Feelings are more than welcome to come. They are, as the caboose, they're more than welcome to come as long as they align with the truth and they align with my faith. But the moment that my feelings try to drive the train, I've got to sever the caboose because the feelings so many times want to dictate my circumstance, my feelings, all real, all trials, all struggles, not to take away any of those. They're real, they're God-given, feeling to be God-given. But the moment they try to derail the truth, or the moment they try to derail my faith, man, I just want to disconnect from that and believe what God says. And when I and when I do, and what my my journey would be with people is even when I see people do that, they eventually find themselves coming around to the place of freedom because they did not let the feelings dictate or derail their train, if you will.
SPEAKER_05So and this is what I just wanted to paint a picture of that God is dad, and one word from the mouth of a father can shift the heart of a child. Amen. Like that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And it happens in the spiritual with God is daddy, and it happens in the natural too. And so it really is true that when the most powerful person on the earth, yeah, like if you imagine the president becoming your father, everything in life immediately changes. Amen. So if the president of the United States became Jesse Allen's father, in one moment my whole life changes. That means I have access immediately to the Oval Office. Yeah. It means I have access to Air Force One. Right. It means that I have a doorway into some of the most influential people across the entirety of the earth. Yeah. And so when you had a revelation that God was your dad, did everything change in life?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. Man, just my dad was a pastor, you know, a senior pastor. And so I would watch him as a child and just always be kind of pretty wide-eyed. Everybody wanted to kind of meet with him, and I always saw him. He had this office in the church and constant meetings and all these kinds of things that were happening. And I always thought, wow, man, my dad meets with a lot of people. But one thing that I always loved about my dad, and he taught us this when we were young, is he goes, everything stops the moment you knock on my door. If you need to come in, interrupt. And he's like, I don't care if I'm in a meeting, don't care if I'm in a counseling appointment. If you knock on my door, and he always had candy in his office. So, like the moment we want to walk in there, like we would interrupt, and he might be in a really important meeting, but he'd always put his kids first. And so when I think about that just in life, like it marked me of going, man, if that was my dad, and I saw him in this, like, like, oh, he's the pastor of the he owns the church, which obviously I know that now. It's not true. In the moment, I was like, he owns the church, right? Like watching him go, I'd drop anything for me and my brothers, you know. And and so that that did something in me, brother, and it made me see the father in the same way. Like, God, you know, eight billion people, and yet I hear this word of like, yeah, but I'd drop all of them if you knocked on my door, Aaron. Wow. And and I'd say that for anybody, but you know, that anybody could say that about him. But for me, it was a really important thing of going, he would drop anything. You know, you've heard the terminology. If I was the only one that he that Jesus had to come for, he'd still say it was worth it. Those are just marking things in our life. And I don't think we can just be like, well, that's that's good semantics, and that that makes me feel good. It's real. It's real. And when you start to realize it's real, like the world becomes a playground. When your daddy owns it and you've got sonship on you, and you know how he feels about you, yes, life is tough, but the world becomes a playground.
SPEAKER_05I think this is the restoration to the Garden of Eden. It is. And you said a playground, it's the Garden of Pleasure. Yes. It's a place where what feels like a valley of death becomes a river of life.
SPEAKER_03Real quick, because you said Garden of Eden, brother, just made me think. So many, I think, sons are still in hiding because they feel like their father's ashamed, or they feel like their father's angry, or you know, they feel like their father's not present, or I've got to clean myself up because and I just I think when you really understand the father's heart is like come out of hiding, then you're back in the garden again. And uh it looks a little different right now, but it it'll come back. Yeah, but you're not hiding anymore. And so, yeah, I've got my mistakes, got my mess ups, got all those things, but boy, it drives me to the heart of Jesus and not away from him.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, the greatest tragedy of the Garden of Eden was not that man sinned.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_05God knew that would happen. Yeah. The Lamb of God was slain before the creation of the world. I think that the greatest tragedy in the Garden of Eden was that they distanced in fear and shame rather than drew near because they knew love and grace. That's it. And so there is just an invitation to discover the heart of God as a gentle, kind, patient, yeah, generous, gracious dad. Yeah. And so it's really not so much about did I mess up or did I do good, right? It's did I draw near whether I was good or I was bad. Yeah. Both are irrelevant. Right. Dad already knew what you would do. Right. And he felt the same about you.
SPEAKER_03And isn't that the hold in brother of Genesis to Revelation? Is that you've got a guy who's gonna meet with Moses on the mountain because he wants to be near. You've got a guy who's gonna meet with him in the tabernacle. You've got a guy who's gonna meet with him in the temple. You got a guy who's like, you've got a God who's so infinite, going, You want to carry me around in an ark? If I just want to be near you, you're right. And then eventually he's like, I'm gonna be in you. And so it's like you see the whole when you see it through that lens, it's he is a God who desires to be with us. And he'll do whatever it takes to make this happen. And I don't know, man, it changes everything.
SPEAKER_05It seems to me when you discover God this way as a father, yeah, rightly seeing him, interacting with him, relating to him, and experiencing him, yeah, you know, your sin does increase.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um but where his your sin increases, his grace increases all the more. Yeah. And it drives out any desire within you for rebellion. Yeah. Because of how connected you. You are with his heart. Yeah. And it kind of drives me to the next point. You know, it talks about Romans 8, how the spirit inside of us is crying out, living to make intercession, saying, the Father. Like wants us to come into the greatest revelation that a human being can touch, that God is daddy. Yeah. And I don't think it's just that he wants us to know that as men. I really think that there's an invitation that we would become like him here on the earth, representing him to the earth as this kind of father. And I think if you look throughout the entirety of the earth and you could pinpoint one thing to the chaos, the deception, the wars, the imprisonment, the uneducation, the flippancy, the rebellion, the lawlessness back to one thing. Yeah. It's likely that not only I'm talking about physical, I'm talking about we don't have spiritually present fathers that are representing God as dad to their homes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Would that be true?
SPEAKER_03Even when I had a chance to share with you and some of the guys earlier, like I kind of nerd out a little bit on this stuff, and saw look up statistics and things. Mental health, suicide, education, graduation, dropout rates, all of these things are tied to a present father in the home. All of these, whether or not they're high or they're low, they'll find the common denominator. This is God's design. The common denominator was a dad present. The common denominator is a father. And here's what you see: all of the issues we have, you just rattle them off. Lawlessness, sin that's running rampant, selfishness is tied to the fact that if we would just connect with our Heavenly Father, everything changes. So you see these things mirroring one another. Um, I'll just share a personal story. Um, going back to K-State for a moment. Yeah. When I was at K-State and I was partying and doing fraternity things and doing things I knew I shouldn't have done, and this was before cell phones. Um we were still right, we were still writing letters back in those days. I didn't even have a computer. I had to go to the computer, uh, what they call lab to email me to typewriter. We're a little distance from that. But but I remember my father would write letters to me and my older brother who was up there with me. And and um his letters would always be letters of love, but but but also letters of going, hey, I know that you guys are up there doing X, Y, and Z. I've heard the stories people have shared. By the way, even our earthly fathers will always find out just F, I, you hide nothing. Uh but he would write these letters and he said, I want you boys to know, I know you're not doing the things that that I would want you to be doing, but I want you to know that I love you and I'll never stop loving you. And I want you to know, I want you to know Jesus loves you. Let me tell you what didn't stop me from partying. What didn't stop me from partying was that, you know, all of a sudden I just um woke up one day and go, you know, I just I just don't want to do that anymore. What stopped me, man, was a loving father who would never, ever stop telling me the truth. A loving father who wouldn't distance himself and say, Aaron, clean yourself up or I'm just never gonna talk to you again. It was a loving father that would not let go. And and and I I remember in those days, I'm like, I'd rather my dad come up and, you know, spank me again, you know, ground me, put me in timeout. It would felt better than getting a letter of love to tell me that he just in his heart knew that God had a plan for my life in those moments. And honestly, that's what flipped the script for me. That's where I was like, man, I don't want to do this anymore. I've got a father who loves me in heaven, I've got an earthly father who loves me, and they've got a much better faith that God has something for me than even I had in the moment. So his faith, my father's faith, carried me through when I was faithless. But isn't that the word, man? It's it was first, second Timothy. When we are faithless, when we are faithless, and I this is me, man, when I'm faithless, he will always be faithful, for he cannot negate his promises. And so my father's faith helped carry my me through earthly, and obviously and God's faith always carries me through.
SPEAKER_05And it's a little interesting because it was the kindness of a father that led you to repentance. It was the kindness of the father that led you to repentance. And uh, I think everyone that probably is listening, that has a family especially, yeah, can relate to the reality that home feels like one of the greatest battlefields. At times it's like, wow, life outside of the home, right, while not perfect, right, sometimes it feels a lot easier than life within the home. Yeah. And it seems like one of the primary reasons that there's so much warfare on family, on marriage, and on fatherhood, is because those three things are the greatest demonstration on the earth that preach the gospel most powerfully of a spiritual reality that God is bringing us into. And so if you just thought about the warfare on men in regards to being present fathers, and in this case, too, also being husbands of love, what would you see as just like the common trend? You've pastored and counseled so many guys in this area. What's like these common trends that you see? These are some of the primary ways where the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy men from being fathers of blessing that are really present spiritually with their children and husbands of love.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm in the front of my mind with that. It's just a lot of guys that feel shame. Um, shame can be used in a various different ways. It can be shame for things that maybe they're going through in their life, could be lustful desires, could be things that they're dealing with. And so men tend to hide in shame. Shame in that they feel like they should be better spiritual leaders. I get to talk with lots of men who feel like, well, my wife knows more than I know, and I never had somebody pray with me, so I don't know how, quote unquote, I don't know how to pray. And because a lot of it was never modeled, a lot of these guys feel the shame and then they feel a little bit insufficient. Like, I'm not good at this, and so because I'm not good at this, I don't know how to do it. And so I think the enemy just really likes to highlight that. Hey, look, you don't know how to pray with your kids, don't do it. Hey, look, you don't know how to pray with your wife, don't do it. Hey, you know what you were just watching the other day. You think you should pray with your wife, knowing where your heart's at? You better go clean. And so it's all of the accusation, it's the condemnation. We know the enemy's the great accuser, we read, right? And that he's trying to accuse us day and night. And I think those things keep earthly fathers from loving their families the way that they're called to do. And and my my tension with all of that is, man, God knows all of it. He knows our insufficiencies. It's why his power is perfect in our weakness. Right. He knows what we were just watching the other day. It's why, man, his grace and love and mercy have forgiven us, man, and he's got fresh forgiveness for us today. And so I just encourage just the men in the house. I mean, even just listening to this, he's not asking you to be perfect. He's asking you to take a step. And to be present. He's asking you to, yeah, take a step, be present, say yes. And it can be messy and it may not look like what you thought at the start, but I don't know a man who started something that was awesome at it the very first time that they did it. I, you know, growing up as men, whether you played sports or an instrument or whatever it is that you you did, you had to learn. First time you swung a hammer, you didn't hit the nail. I promise you, you didn't hit the nail, right? So, whatever it is that you've done, you had to put practice and work into it. I don't know why we think that that's not gonna be our families. It's gonna take practice. And your presence is practicing at home. You being present in that room. I um I think of just, and I'll just use church life for a moment. I had an opportunity to do a few funerals lately that were hard ones, younger guys in their 40s, um, a couple of them from some bad life decisions, and then a couple from cancer. And do you know that when their children got up to speak on their behalf, not one of them said, Man, you know what? I'm gonna tell you all about the things that I wish that my dad and I, you know, that that he would have left me. I wish she would have left me a house. I wish she would have left me money. I wish she would have left me a car. Every single conversation or every child that got up and spoke on their dad's behalf was, if I could just have one more moment with him, we wouldn't have to say anything. If I could just have him in the room, boy, if he would just come and put his arm, this makes me whew tender too. If he just put his arm around me one more time, you know, if I could just be in his presence one more time, it would change everything. And I'm like, what? Why does it take death for us to realize that this is really all our family wants? This is the key. They just want you to be present. And then there's things in that as fathers we can grow in spiritual leadership and all those things, but yeah, it starts with showing up. Yeah. Show up.
SPEAKER_05And at some level, the devil for sure is raging war to make us have a distorted view of what's most valuable. Yeah. And so, like in America as an example, yeah, for sure, yeah, success is primarily seen in building financial wealth 100% as a result. We put our family on the altar. Yeah. But we sacrifice them so that we can get the gift of more money. It's kind of what you're relating to. Thinking that somehow my kids will be most blessed if I can give them X, Y, and Z all the time they don't have me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. On this Jesse. Yeah. We're taught to promote, protect, and provide for our families. The three piece. Promote. Promote. Promote my family just means, you know, I want if if my wife's with me or if my kids are with me, you know, I want to promote them. I want them to know that. And we all say it, like, my family's the most important. Promote my family, protect my family. I'm going to be the first line of defense. And most guys will be like, that's me. I'm going to be, I'm going to protect them. No matter what comes to that door, I'm going to protect, provide for them. I'm going to do whatever it takes. I'm going to, I'm going to have the provision for them. But we forget the fourth P, which is being present with them. So we lean on those three things. And when I encounter guys, sometimes they'll go, Man, I did, I did, I did it all. I I tried to promote my family. I told them that they were the most important. I told them that. I provided for my family. I worked my tail off and I was successful. I did the best I could, worked three jobs, whatever it was. I provided for them. I they knew that they had protection. I had them. What what what did I do wrong? And it wasn't really that I would say, man, it's not that you did wrong. It's that you missed the most important P.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Which you were present. Wow. You were present. And I just think a lot of young men didn't grow up that way. I don't know that I grew up always hearing that. And so, you know, the other three things seem to take the precedence, but I would say that the presence is the most important out of all of them.
SPEAKER_05Wow, that's so powerful. I was thinking even of Jesus with Mary and Martha. Yeah. Because he'd around doing many things. Yeah. Mary chose the greatest portion. The best portion. And what was it? It was almost like dad was in the room. That was it. And all dad wants is to be present with his children, and all child wants is to be present with his dad. And so would you say that at some level it's true that either you'll sacrifice your family for work or you'll sacrifice work for your family? A hundred years. Yeah, not ministry within the home.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so years ago, I'll I'll say 25 years ago, it was uh I heard a pastor say something like, If you're gonna cheat, and he was speaking to some young pastors, I was probably 21 at that time, and he's like, Cheat the church. And I was like, Whoo, what do you mean, cheat the church? He goes, You're gonna cheat on something in life. You're gonna cheat your family, you're gonna cheat your job, you're gonna cheat your friends, you're gonna cheat your hobbies, because you're not gonna balance them all out well. Right. You're gonna cheat something. And he's his comment was just if you're gonna do, you're gonna cheat, he said, cheat the church, and he was speaking to pastors, and that marked me 20, whatever, 26 years ago. It marked my life in in the aspect that when I got older, I remembered that phrase because I lived much of my life in ministry in the early days, cheating my family and giving myself to the ministry. And um, and man, it wasn't until later on, um, I think my oldest son was in high school at the time, and and um I had taken a little bit of a sabbatical and I had a little time with the Lord, and he reminded me of that phrase, Aaron, if you're gonna cheat, cheat the church, obviously being in ministry, cheat the church and not your family. And I just remember going, You're right, Lord, like I have cheated my family to try to have the success that then I equated with, but God would want me to, and I was wrong. Because if I gained all the success in ministry or life or business or whatever, but did not have a family, I've gained nothing. Wow, I've gained nothing. And I just believe that the Lord has a lot of words to say about if our family's not in right order, how can we lead others? Right. If my marriage is not in right order, how can I lead others?
SPEAKER_05How can I pray?
SPEAKER_03How can I pray? Yeah, and I think we dismiss that as like, yeah, but God would really want me to. And I'm like, no, I think that's what he really meant. Because a good father, if he cheated his kids, a good heavenly father, if he cheated his kids, how would he expect us to want to worship and glorify his name? And so he never cheated us, and he would expect us to the new thing, same thing for our families.
SPEAKER_05It seems like it would at least be worth asking the question right now for those who are listening, yeah, if the Holy Spirit would want to speak to you about priorities in life, yeah, and if he would invite you to make a sacrifice that usually does take courage because one thing I've learned about being a man is that I have a day, a great desire to be great.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And so sometimes like the work that I do, no one would have to have to repay me for it because how much I love to do it. So good. And it's like, wow, yeah, you were created for a lot of that, but are you willing to sacrifice work outside of the home? Yeah. And what I hear you say so that you can be present within the home. Yeah. Like you don't get it all. Yeah. So you are making a sacrifice, and of course, the Holy Spirit would invite us to ask him what kind of sacrifice would he ask you to make in this season, outside of your house, so that you can be present with love within your house.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And you mentioned this earlier, Erin, about like the imperfection of a father. And so I'm assuming that you would say personally, you've been an imperfect father at times.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And so it seems like, you know, if guys are listening to this and maybe they're later on in their journeys and they're hearing this, and like, oh my goodness. I did all of those three P's and I missed that four. Yeah. And they're getting maybe sunk into this place of shame and regret.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Like, what would be the invitation into a revelation? I was an imperfect father. Do I just forget about it and move on?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Or do I repent of it and humble myself and believe for redemption through repentance with my children? Can you talk about your own journey in regards to the power of repentance in relationship with your children? Yeah. Where you did the first three, but maybe not the fourth P.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, for sure. I think uh uh just looking back on my journey with my kids, my my drive, I've always been a pretty driven person, a middle child, hyper competitive, you know, wanted to win at life, wanted to win at different things. And and so when when I started having my children and they were getting involved in activities and things, there's a word that I use later on here in life when I came to the realization that I had um maybe not been the greatest father or greatest example, and it was, I remember vividly having this with my two sons in particular who I'd coached for many years, and and I said, you know, you guys have only known me as a critical coach and not a loving father. And I brought the critical coaching into being a father rather than just a loving father. Everything was critical. Everything was critical, everything was critical. And one of the most beautiful moments that I had in my life, um, I'll call it with my son Tyson. He was older, he's a senior in high school. And so I want to speak to those dads going, I messed it all up when my kids were young. Look, I'm I don't care if your kids are in college, that's never too late. God never wastes a moment. Yeah. Repentance, God's not a respecter of age. If you're 80 and your kids are in their 40s or their 50s, you can still have this moment with them. I believe that. But um, my oldest was in, was in uh senior in high school, and we had just spending a lot of tension, back and forth tension. And about 10:30 at night, he came up and he started this little tiny conversation. And of course, I was on the couch and I didn't, I was mad, probably watching TV or something. And it was like the Lord gave me a glimpse. Your son just came up to have a conversation with you at 10:30 at night. That never happens. Turn off the TV. I didn't want to. It's like, I'm I'm tired. I just poured myself out today in ministry. Here we go, right? I'm entitled to. I'm to and he was like, turn it off. I turned it off. And Tyson and I had this conversation for about an hour and a half to two hours till maybe midnight, weeping tears of me confessing to him, I missed the mark. Wow. I was a critical coach. Quit. Why you why why we do this? It makes me cry talking about this. Um, that I had missed the mark and that I was a critical coach and not a loving father. And I just remember him saying, Dad, it's okay. And I was like, man, it's not. It's really not. Because I want you, I want you to be a loving father. And I don't want you to have to do these things. I just remember this beautiful moment, and he's he's consoling me, going, Dad, it's okay, I forgive you. And I'm like, I gotta forgive myself, you know? And so it's just this beautiful moment, and uh that really started me on a new trajectory for my three other kids that were coming up. But it was that was a mark again, just you have these marking moments in your life. It was a marking moment that repentance before your kids is a beautiful thing because it shows a heart of true humility and genuineness. They need to see your weakness. Look, there's no earthly father that's killing this thing and doing awesome. Right. Like, and when I say that, I mean we can do well, but we all have our faults and failures. And I just speak to every guy who's listening in on this to say, we all have our faults and failures. That's good. We want them to know there's only one perfect father. We want them to know that our father in heaven is the only perfect father, but we can be an example of that humility and gentleness when we screw things up.
SPEAKER_05And so we're thinking in John the Baptist's word, yeah. It says bear fruit, yeah, in keeping with repentance. And so I guess what I would speak is if there's a guy who's listening to this that wants fruit in a relationship with your children, yeah, that you don't have, it seems like this is a promise from heaven that there'll be fruit that begins to spring up. Maybe not as quickly as we always like. Yeah. You know, there is a true, like a long track record for a lot of guys that haven't been present at home, that have been critical and harsh coaches. But it seems like if we're willing to repent of our criticalness with humility and begin on this path. And one of my favorite things about Jesus is there's only one place he describes his character and nature in all of the gospels, and it's Matthew 11. And what he chooses to describe is that he's gentle and he's lowly in heart. And so it seems to me that the most powerful thing a man can carry is gentleness and lowliness in heart. And when he does that before his family with a spirit of repentance, over time there's spiritual resurrection and relationship that begins to happen, and there's fruit of life and life abundantly that begins to take place. And so you talked about the criticalness of the coach versus the love of the father.
SPEAKER_03And before you jump into that question, can I share one more thing? I want to I think this is an important concept. My dad watched this play out when I was in my 30s and I was raising my kids. And I remember he caught me one time. We were out on our little family farm and he caught me one time and he just said, he said, Hey hun, I want to share something with you. Because he still calls us that even in our 30s before, hun, right? He's like, I want to share something with you. He says, I I watch you with you boys sometimes. He says, I am so sorry that I was that way with you guys at times. And he said, So here's a father to a father, trying to help correct something that he's seeing. And he just said, and he just starts weeping. He says, I know I was really hard on you boys too. And he was a good disciplinarian, he did it well, right? But he said, he goes, I know I was hard on you guys. And he says, I'm looking back now with my own regrets. He says, I don't want you to have to pass that on. And so I'm being fathered by my dad, who's probably in his 60s at that time, you know, late 50s, 60s, as I'm sitting there in my 30s. It never ends. And so I want to tell you guys again, you you're not missing the moment. I don't care how old you are, you get to still father throughout the generations. Wow. Just want to share that.
SPEAKER_05A father for the generations. Yeah. That's a whole nother trajectory for sure that we could go on. Wow, that's so powerful. But you talked about the criticalness of a coach, the love of the father. But what about the affirmation of a daddy?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What does affirmation put in the heart of your children? And kind of like how have you seen that play out in your fatherhood and maybe even in your sonship with your natural father? Like it seems like one, I said it earlier, but it seems like one word of encouragement from the heart of the dad like drives out fear, and suddenly we're just like willing to go take the land.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I'll tell you, if there's one thing I would roar about, you speak life into your kids, they'll do anything, man. You speak encouragement to your kids. I I I've used the analogy before, I'll use it again. But like I remember showing up to concerts for my kids when they were young, you know, and all the parents are packing the stands. What's every kid up there getting ready to do their concert or either band concert? What's every kid looking for? They're looking for their parents. That's all they're you want to watch them. Every kid is looking for their parent and they see you and you wave to them and they wave back, and it's like a big smile comes on. They see mom and dad. And I don't know if it's anxiety or a moment of just going, is somebody here for me? But the moment they see you, and then you've got that kid who's just singing loud and boisterous, way off key, but they could care less because mom and dad are there. And so I believe that men when a Parents shows up, specifically, we're speaking to hearts of dads. When they see their daddy, man, everything changes. You're encouraged, you're empowered, you feel protected. You're like, man, I can, I can conquer the world. This is a big thing. I can conquer the world. Because that's how I feel, by the way. When the Lord shows up, everything is possible. And so I know you and I were talking a little offline on this, Jesse, but um, watching my daughter, uh, one of my daughters that had ran track. Um, she she um uh she ran the 400. And uh the 400's a hard race, yeah, right? Uh I always say it's the hardest race there is because it's kind of an all-out sprint, but not, right? Right. And uh she would always call me up and she'd say, Dad, you're you're gonna be at the track meet, right? And I always say, Yeah, baby, I'm gonna be at the track meet. She goes, Dad, you know where to stand, don't you? And I'd say, Yeah, I know where to stand. And I would stand at the 300 mark. Because for the first hundred, she'd go all out, and then the second hundred, you know, you're kind of trying to stride it out. But she said, Dad, when I'd hear your voice at the 300. Wow. She's down with track now, so she'd say, When I'd hear your voice at the 300, Dad, I knew I could finish. And she'd say, When you yell, it does something for my heart. I'm really sentimental in these days, by the way, because my kids are launching out. The two of the oldest are out of the house now. So um, and we even talked about this. Sorry.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, this is the second time crying.
SPEAKER_03It is. It makes me, yeah, we're entering a new season of life. So, but anyways, all right, back to the story. And she'd say, Dad, when I hear your voice, I know I can finish. And so um she would always make sure that I was at every track meet so that I could stand at that 300 mark, and she would hear my voice. And again, just the way the way that it translates into my life now at 47 years old. Like when I can hear the voice of the Lord, when I can hear my father's voice, like God, I'm gonna finish. Yeah, I don't care what life brings at me, I'm gonna finish. And I'm not just gonna finish. I'm gonna finish strong, and that's my commitment. I will finish strong. And so um, yeah, man, it just plays out just in my own personal life, and it plays out in my commitment to the Lord. And uh my kids have taught me that being a present father.
SPEAKER_04Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I think um all kids, both us spiritually with God, yeah, and then us, even me in 32 with my daddy still rusty. Yeah, like one of the things that I'm longing for most is to know that he takes pleasure in the race that I'm running. Yeah. And I had a friend recently who has twin girls who are in first grade, and we were all at our uh girls' track meet. Yeah. They're just first graders. Yeah. And they were running the 400 too. Yeah, yeah. Because this happened a couple weeks ago. Yeah, one of his daughters has autism, yeah, and one of his daughters of the same twin set is the best athlete in the class. Yeah. So one of them got first by far. Yeah. And one of them got last by far. By far. And later he said, I couldn't have been more proud for one of them over the other. That's so cool. And it was like a revelation for him in his heart that the father takes great pleasure as we run our race. Yes. And so, like, how have you discovered that with your kids? Because you have four of them.
SPEAKER_03I do.
SPEAKER_05Each one of them is individually unique, even though they came from the same two people. 100%. Which means in so many ways, like they each have their own God-given race. Yeah. They're not running against each other. Right. They're running a race for God. And so, how do you actually discover this with your children and spur them on and affirm them, believe in them to run the race that God has for them? To me, this seems like this is what it means to train a child in the way that they should go. Yeah. And when you do it in the way that they should go, that's uniquely handcrafted together by God for them, it's unlikely that they'll ever depart from it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. You know, Christy and I, we talk, my wife, Christy and I, we talk about this a lot of just each one of our kids is so unique. Their love languages are unique. What they need from us is unique. Some of them are very much quality time, some of them are words of affirmation, some of them like just want closeness with you. And so I think one of the things that has been really cool spending time with each of my kids and reminding them of their value in Jesus. And it's not just that I'm reminding them the value in Jesus, but I'm reminding them that their purpose is maybe different. I got one who's really driven. And what do you want to do in life? I don't know what makes a lot of money. I'm not sure that that's the greatest way to pick your job, what makes a lot of money, but like really driven. Another one just going, I just want to be a stay-at-home mom and you just want to have kids and just love my husband well. And and each one of them is just affirming what God is speaking into their life. And not, not, you know, many of the plans of man is the plans of God to prosper. And so, not just trying to tell them, I think you'd be really good at. I'm like, what's your dreams? And so we'll ask that question. Sometimes we we sit around the dinner table and we'd pull slips of paper out. It's like, what was the best parts about your day? What do you think God wants to do with your life? We'd ask these questions and everybody had to answer. None of them wanted to answer, by the way, but we made them all answer. And then we'd try to speak life into those dreams. Like, man, God's gonna have big plans for you. Whatever you want to do, there's nothing impossible with the Lord. And so I think that that took individual time with each one of the children, my children. And so I want to say this if you've got multiple kids, sometimes even if you just do large family nights, and I'm all for those. Do that, great, amen. Do do those. Some of your kids are gonna get lost in the fray. I've got four, some of them talk over the other ones. But spending individual time with each one of them, a one-on-one lunch date, uh, a moment where I'm like, hey, let's just go on a walk together, let's go on this bike ride together. The one-on-ones, man, would would be to get to know their heart and then to reaffirm that the things that they're feeling on their heart aren't just coming from them. I believe those are God-given things in their heart. And so though those were probably the things try to help them to see each one of them run their race well, know that they have purpose and a journey. So yeah.
SPEAKER_05So uh one of the things that often people will say, just in life in general, is uh if I would have only known then what I know now. Oh. Uh-huh. And so one of those is can be like um an invitation into a sense of condemnation.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05But I also think it can be like an invitation into an impartation of wisdom. Yeah. Where like Aaron's ceiling becomes Jesse's floor. And so I'm 32, you know. Yeah, I got six-year-old, four-year-old, one-year-old, then we have another one coming on the way. So we're coming on four as well. And like, what would it you say to somebody like me who's in the thick of it with six-year-olds, four-year-old, one-year-old, fourth coming on the way? Yeah. Where you'd say, if I would have known then what I know now, here's what I would do different. And I'm not gonna sit and shame over it, but I want to impart wisdom into you as a spiritual son, as a spiritual father. Yeah, what would you speak to my generation and fathers that are doing this thing with really young kids? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Brother, this is my tears today.
SPEAKER_05Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03My tears, and just for all the guys that are gonna probably watch this, like I'll typically cry often unless it's about my kids, my family, or the Lord. Other than that, like, there's just something about it, and I think I think that's what it is. And I want to say regrets, but not regrets with shame. I I I really I want to say that. I I don't have regrets with shame. I have regrets. God has dealt with the shame. At the end of the day, my favorite verse, Acts 13. It's a life verse for me. I think I've shared it with you before. It's really obscure. Peter's preaching a word, he's gonna just mention David, King David, but he's not gonna say King David. He's gonna say, when David accomplished the purposes of the Lord in his generation, he fell asleep. And I've shared this. It's not King David, it's not giant slayer David, it's not great leader David. It's just David. When David accomplished the purpose of the Lord in his generation, he fell asleep. And so I know that God has purpose for me. At the end of the day, there's an eternity awaiting. I know that. But my regrets are I wish when my children were younger, brother, that I would have been home in the most important moments of their life. Whether that was they needed me home at track meets, they needed me home at events, they needed me home to play with them, to learn how to ride the bikes. And I was there in those moments, but I was gone in many moments too, for the sake of ministry or for my, for others, it might just be for the sake of success. And so I wish I would have missed moments, said no to other things for them. I would say that first and foremost. Um, I wish I would have skipped the meeting at 6 p.m. and been home at five so that we made sure that every night we were doing family dinners as much as possible together. And then if I had to leave after family dinner, that's one thing. But I wish we would have had more dinner time, table time. Because I think that the table in many ways is the altar of your home, right? I think I've heard you say that. Maybe not, maybe I just put that in your mouth. But if you hadn't, I believe that the table is like the altar of the home. It's where everybody sits down, it's where everybody gets to participate together at the table of the Lord. Um, and so I wish we would have had more of those without activities driving where we're at, practices and sporting events and ministry things. I wish we would have done that more. And then I wish I would have been much more intentional. I'd get home tired, and my kids would say goodnight, and we'd give each other hugs and kisses and things, and then they would go to bed. I wish I would have gone to their rooms individually every night and put my hand on their head and prayed for them and just said, Man, God's got plans and destinies for you. Every single night it would have been worth it. Skipping 30 minutes of vegging out in front of the TV or skipping 30 minutes of going to bed early. I wish I would have gone to their rooms and said to each one of them, I want you to know I don't know what your day held for you. I know you had ups and downs, friendship issues, not friendship issues, boyfriend issues, girlfriend, whatever you went through. But I want you to know God has plans and destinies for you and prayed over them. Those are three things table time, going into their room, putting my hand on them and laying my hands. And we had those moments, don't get me wrong, had those moments, but not as fervently as I wish we would have done. And then just being at the most important things.
SPEAKER_05Wow. I've heard somebody say that um the mundaness of our adult life is our children's identity shaping years. Oh, amen. And so, you know, you're a guy who just brings great charge. So, you know, we're sitting right outside your sanctuary here where you preach often. Imagine if you had a thousand guys in that sanctuary and you were to give one more charge to them, knowing that they're all fathers. Yeah. And that fatherhood, present fatherhood, has the ability literally to bring about transformation to the entirety of a culture.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05You know, that's not an exaggeration. Yeah. That's a simple reality. What would be one charge that you would give to a thousand men if you had one chance and you just said, I know these guys are listening. Whoever has ears, let them hear. I know they're listening to this and they're gonna respond to it. What would be one last charge you would give them?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, I like William Wallace from Braveheart, so I'd paint my face blue. Yeah, I'd throw the kilt on, get the spear, get the big spear, take off your shirt. I'd do it. We make sword. We know your short. And I would say your, and and I, and I know it's it's gonna be general terminology, but I would say your greatest legacy is in front of you in your home. Nobody will remember your name at work. Nobody will remember a business that you started 30 years from now, that place, whether it's there or not there, nobody will care. Nobody will remember your accolades, nobody cares about those accolades, but your children will be your greatest legacy, and they will remember every moment that you were with them and every moment that you were not with them. They will remember the moments that you were present and the moments that you were not present. And I would charge those men, if you want the greatest legacy in life, they are in the lives of your children and your spouse. I don't want to negate wives, they are in your legacy of your family. And I say that, man, with, and I say that not just like, well, maybe. I'm telling you, I couldn't tell you who the 18th president president of the United States is, couldn't tell you the 20th. I could tell you the popular ones, Washington, Lincoln, you know, some of those, I couldn't tell you who those are. Here's where the men that held the highest office in our nation couldn't tell you the 18th, 19th, 20th president us. Nobody will remember you in those ways, but your children will. And I would tell these men go home and live the greatest legacy you could ever live in your life. Be with your family, pour into your family because they know when you were present, when you were not present. If you want to make a name, if you want to make a name, make a name for Jesus in your family. And I promise you that's got eternity behind it.
SPEAKER_05Wow. Okay. Pray for us. Amen. And we're gonna close off. Amen. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. So, Father, I I know men that will listen in on this, God, will have mixed feelings at times. Some will feel like they have done well in some of these areas, and there will be many, God, who feel, God, did I miss the mark? And is it too late? And so we declare, Father, with boldness and fervency right now, there is never a moment too late with you. As long as today is still called today, God, you've got a plan for these men's hearts. I pray, God, for the families right now, the fathers that are in the young families, and they're in the mix of these kids that are young and they're like, what can I do? I pray that they would show up, throw the ball, get on their hands and knees, play with their kids, Lord, show them their love. God, take them to bed at night, lay them down in their beds, pray over these children, let them know that their fathers love them deeply and care for them. I pray for the fathers right now in the stages of middle school and high school ages, where these kids don't maybe don't want father around as much. I pray these dads would not back up and say, Well, they don't want me there. I pray they would press in like they've never pressed in. God, if they've got to slip in at night and put their hand on their kids' head and pray for them, I pray they would slip in, leave notes in the bedrooms, God, at night, little sticky notes that says, God, uh, that these fathers would leave that says to their kids, you are valued and you're loved, and your heavenly father sees you, and I see you. I pray that fathers would charge the hill, God, for these kids in the throes of middle school and high school life. And then for those, God, whose kids are out of the home, I pray that for these fathers, they would see it's not too late. Press into your 20-year-old, your 30-year-old, your 40-year-old. Never stop fathering your children and reminding them how much you love them. And I pray, Heavenly Father, that we would see it as the greatest legacy. My family, these children, the greatest legacy, and I will leave a name that is known to them, and that name is the love of Christ, who is the greatest heavenly father we'll ever know. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
SPEAKER_05Amen. I want to leave you guys with this encouragement, Joshua 1.6, which was the charge, be strong and courageous, because you do have the power to lead these people to inherit the land that God swore our ancestors to give to us. And so thank you guys for joining us today with Carrie the Fire. We bless you. And for those who have made it to the end, we sincerely and genuinely want you to know that we and God believe in you. Bless you.