Gianmarco Soresi

This week Ilana sits down with stand-up comedy sensation Gianmarco Soresi, who was named in Variety’s 10 Comics to Watch For 2025 and Deadline’s Comics Who Won 2025. He and Ilana discuss the relentless pursuit of craft, the charismatic leaders that populate the musical theater world, the state of stand up, moms who over-share, and generational Judaism. Gianmarco is currently touring North America, the UK, and Europe on his massive THE MISERY LOVES TOUR tour, while his self-released 2025 comedy special THIEF OF JOY now claims over 5 million views on YouTube. Go see him out there, and come on in here, it’s open!

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Host: Ilana Glazer
Producers: David Rooklin, Annika Carlson, Madeline Kim, Kelsie Kiley, Glennis Meagher
Video Producers: Lexa Krebs, Louise Nessralla
Audio Producers: Nicole Maupin, Rachel Suffian, Rebecca O’Neill
Lighting Director: Kevin Deming
Editor: Tovah Leibowitz
Graphics: Raymo Ventura
Outro Music: Don Hur

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@itsopenpod

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to It's Open with Alana Glazer. My guest today is so fucking funny. He's such a ham and a motherfucking star. Jean-Marco Ciresi is leading the wave of standup comedians right now who are paving their own path on YouTube. He gives this fucking classic New York sense, I guess because he comes from training to be on Broadway. And he's just fucking smart and progressive and a man who is not insecure about his masculinity. It really is refreshing and delightful and I think you're going to enjoy it. Come on in. It's open. How often are you on the road? I've been on the road so constantly and it's hitting that point of like, well, you're not going to have a life or a community other than your two openers. Right. Oh my God. So it's really thinking about it. It really is one of those like, oh, you got what you wanted. And now you're like, I don't know if this is the long-term life. Right. Because also you have a partner. I. Do. Who you love. Very much it. Seems. I love very much. And she comes on the road sometimes. So we're like navigating because she's a manager and she's very busy and some cities she does not want to go to. And sometimes I don't want being alone. I'm working so much and we're trying to figure out what it is. Two weeks off every month. Right. But yeah. And when. You say constantly, it's like you're not coming home. You are out there going. Residency. I come back, but I come back for the worst three days of all time. And I'm catching up and doing a podcast and it's jam packed. So it's tough. So I'm moving to more theaters and hopefully not. I just did eight shows in Providence over four days. Holy shit. I was doing 10 show runs and 11. And that's - Wait. That's incredible. Congratulations. Well, thank you. But the moment you're breaking a record at a comedy club for a consecutive performance is the moment you're like, "Oh, people don't do this for a reason." Right. Yeah. Where. Was it in Providence? Comedy Connection. Eight shows. Yeah. So. It's like if now once you move to theaters, then you can chill more because you go -. Maybe, unless you don't move big enough and then you go, "Oh, I'm doing eight shows still." I think we're making it a little less. I'm trying to go bigger as opposed to selling out, adding, adding, adding, adding. So hopefully. And how long have you been doing standup? It kind of depends, but I think the real is like 2017, 16. Wow. Wow. I'm not going to gush too much because I feel like if I compliment you too much, you might never leave. So I will just say fucking congratulations on your success. Thank you. It's incredible and you're incredible. Thank you. Very. Much. You're incredible. Thief of Joy was so fantastic. It was perfect. Thank you. There's. Not a moment wasted. Thank you. We worked hard, hard on that. It was so funny and so ridiculous. And you're a ham. Thank you. You're. A real ham? But it's going to take effort, I suppose, to figure out how to reorganize things. Yeah. I mean, Thief of Joy is a product of 10 years of obsession and no life at all. And so I'm trying to figure out how to stay good and build a life. I mean, I think you just get to a point where you go, oh, all these artists you admire who were crazy or who took their own lives.You're like, "Oh yeah, I see that route." And deciding. And my favorite movie is still Black Swan. And the idea of one great show and then dying on stage does appeal to me romantically. And perhaps it appeals to your manager. Maybe. Maybe as long as she gets the direct deposit set up before the show's over. And Thieve of Joy also, you said this on Instagram. Is it true that no streamer wanted it? There was just no one who wanted a full special. I mean, there's not that many options right now. No. And it's just tough for standups to get in. You just got to produce it yourself. Again, it's like everything is a commercial for the live show for me. So I'm able to think. And not that I think of it all as doing commercials, but I don't need necessarily even to make money. I can lose money. All my money is from the live. And that's why when I lost, when I had to get that surgery, the vocal surgery, it was like, again, I didn't go to business school, so I just kind of understand the business that's happening. And I go, "Oh no, all my income is based on me being healthy." And then other than little social media income, it's like, "Oh, that's the real flaw. In. The company I've created. I have to be available to do it.". Thief of Joy, while streamers didn't want it, got four million views. I'm. Sure it's - We're almost at five. Yeah. Oh my God. So exciting. It's. Very cool. How. Does it feel? Are you like. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I'm more like, okay, now you want something now? Let's do it. I think it's like you navigate and you float around all these different things. I just think it's like there's no home is ever safe. Even YouTube, it's like maybe that was it now. Maybe it's something. I just think everything's moving and shaking so much, you have to constantly be unsure of where the next step's going to be. I diversify wherever I'm going to put things. I diversify with social media because you just don't know what's going to happen. So you work with your manager who is your girlfriend? Yeah. Or I sleep with my manager because she's my girlfriend. Okay. So were you guys. Not obviously, but were you client and manager first? No. So we met during COVID. Okay. And she was frankly in a different league above me in terms of work. I don't think I would've been - Not dating. I don't think she would've signed me pre - COVID. So we met August, I think August of 2020, and we were just neighbors and we had a friend in common. So this is when you might make a pod or you might go over to a place with a mask and we just became a pod and then we dated and it wasn't something that was on the table that - Working. Together. Yeah. It was just like it would be so. Frankly, it was scary. I think I was more scared because she felt more established and people love her in a way where I went. I did this weekend at the comedy center in Las Vegas and this older comic who was kind of ribbing me, but was like,"You better make sure she breaks up with you because if it's the other way around, you'll never work again." And scared the shit out of me. So I took it - I. Just needed to process the math of that hysterical. You have to make sure she breaks up with you because if you break with her, then you'll work. Again. Then you'll never work again. That is so funny. We were deep enough that it wasn't like, "Oh, I'm going to end this now." But it was just like, I felt certainly nervous. It was just nervous. It wasn't cool. It was almost like a stress point of just like, "Oh yeah, everyone loves you here.". So what was the moment of crossing that line to be like,"I want to work with you?". I mean, we always were creatively involved and she was like, I refer to her as my muse, which I do think in some respects. And then others I think she's my editor and others, I think she's a creative backboard. And then every once in a while she'll throw in a line or a tag. She was a producer on Thief of Joy, and she wasn't my manager when we did that. And then just the moment happened where things were changing and shifting. And at that moment it was like, well, if I'm going to shake things up in my life, it felt like it would be crazy at this point to not just bring this in together because then you're almost forcing a separation. Which isn't to say that it's not so challenging to have your manager as your partner. There's so many. It's more like it's constant navigation. It's not just like, okay, we set these boundaries and everything's smooth sailing. So are you like Meta talking about your relationship as you're actually functioning within both buckets of your relationship? Yes. There's times where I say to her like,"I need you to talk to me as a manager right now." And she's like,"We're in the middle of fucking." And there's just different moments of. I think I worried and I still worry sometimes where a manager and agent has to speak so gently to their clients and so not going,"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Which they could do plenty. And sometimes I would worry that because I'm her partner, she can finally talk to a client with the honesty of frustration that she wants to talk to her other clients. And sometimes it's like, that's good because I'm hearing the truth, which is what I want. Some days you get so sick of everyone blowing smoke up your ass. And then other times I'm like, "Okay. Okay. I need to feel really. I need my ego as stroked." Got. It. So it's a balance. So. Is she more honest than gentle typically? Yes. Copy. That. Absolutely. And there's times I'm like, that is the way where I'm like,"You are just like my mom." And I think part of this works and is fucked up in the way that's like my mom struggled to just be full on like, "Oh, it's okay, baby. Everything's fine.". Yeah. Your parents are nutty. Yeah. Holy. Shit. Yeah. But my dad was like, he's crazier and things fell apart, but he was the everything's going to be okay parent. Just hugs and kisses and proud. And if I had two of those, I would not be a good comedian. Does it say adult child of divorce on your Instagram? Maybe. I have theater adults and then child of divorce. Oh. Child of divorce. Yeah. Your parents sound so nutty per your. Hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think my dad probably is nuttier for sure. Nuttier. Than your mom? Yeah, but she's the one who picked him. But he's. Jewish? No, he's Italian obviously. She Jewish. Right. Of course you have a. Jewish mother. So he's nutty, but she's the one who said, "Yeah, I'll take the nut. Maybe that's the nuttier of the two.". That's right. Shit. Okay. Copy that. Did you grow up observantly Jewish? You read to me as so Jewy and so. Proudly. Jewy. Oh, yes. I don't know what was before Tova, because Tova obviously, who grew up Chabad. She. Definitely - Is Habad. Hasidic? Yes. She always tells me, stop saying Habad. People don't know it, but it's like a subsect of Hasidism. And they have - And she grew. Up in Brooklyn? She grew up in New Orleans. That's. Right. Yeah. So I don't know if. She definitely has made me more Jewish, but I think it's like I wasn't raised very religiously. My mom's parents told her she could either have a bat mitzvah or a really big Sweet 16, and she chose that. Your. Mom? My mom. Chose that for. Herself? Sweet 16 for herself. And so I think just that was the end of her really caring. So not me, none of my siblings on my mom's side were sent to any kind of Jewish school. No bar mitzvahs, no bar mitzvahs. Did you get a Sweet 16? No. No. Oh, cover that. I mean, I had regular birthday probably. Oh, cover. That. Sweet 16 feels more like - A girl. Thing. A girl thing. Yeah. I would've loved one. Remember. That show? My Super Sweet 16? Yeah. It. Was like rich. Kids having their 16. That was so gross. It. Was really gross, but I don't remember watching it and having a sense of class awareness. No. Not. At all. I. Was just like, damn, that's amazing. I know. I. Know. There was no class. With lucky kids. Where'd you grow up? DC. I mean, Potomac, Maryland, but DC's the cooler. Copy that. Hi, jumping in here with my ground news segment. So Ground News is a website and an app that aggregates articles from all around the world and then organizes those articles by bias, left, center, or right-leaning bias so that you, the consumer are not swallowed up in some narrative or not swallowed up in that bias. You can know what angle this is coming from. It'll also tell you if reporting is original or recycled, as well as the source it's coming from. Who owns it, who pays for it. So you can know whether this is independent media or billionaire owned media. So I go to Ground News and I'm going to look up, oh my gosh, this article, Federal Judge Haltz Trump Administration Effort to Subpoena Walls, Tim Walls, an Immigration Enforcement Probe. I know this was a strong performance of political theater, so I'm curious how the news is showing this. So let me see the left here. Federal judge tosses. Oh, it's interesting to see ABC considered left. Federal judge tosses DOJ subpoenas to Minnesota Governor Tim Walls, other state officials, tosses out. I love the casual, just tossing it. CBS News. Also interesting that it's a center. Judge rules DOJ used grand jury subpoenas to coerce Minnesota officials on ICE enforcement during metro surge. Okay, let's see this when it is on the right. Yikes. Breaking. Federal judge blocks Trump administration subpoena over Tim Walls over anti - ICE obstruction. Interesting. ICE, these rogue ICE agents who have killed 50 Americans in ICE custody and murdered people in broad daylight, executed Alex Preddi, Renee Good, Keith Porter. To say anti - ICE obstruction, to make us think that to be against ICE, you're not being a patriotic American looking out for your fellow American citizens, but you are anti - ICE. Listen, if you want this experience of having a more distanced and less emotional experience of taking in the news, I say go to ground news. Go to groundnews.com/open to get 40% off the Vantage Plan. Ground News is subscriber funded and female founded. What I love about it being subscriber funded is that I feel like I'm gaining a sense of a shared reality by taking in so many different articles and having it organized into bias. But it being subscriber funded means we are investing in sharing a reality. I love that. And female founded, we love it. You can get 40% off this vantage plan, which is the one I use every day by going to the direct link in the episode description in and on any platform where you watch or listen to It's Open with Alana Glazer. Hello. Just pausing from your regularly scheduled programming to give you a great discount to a great product. The springtime thaw is Thank you. Thank you, sweet planet earth for the flowers which are blooming. The days which are longer. I'm able to say yes to more things and plans because I'm less sad. Because I'm also figuring out that the more I exercise, the happier I am. Did you know? Duh. So this is when I turn to Bamba's sports socks, which are super comfortable and designed with sports specific tech in mind for running, cycling, yoga, hiking, you name it. Me, I'm into weightlifting right now and walking. Walking in nature I guess is hiking. So hiking as well. I love the texture of Bambas, the ratio of cotton to whatever makes it stretchy. And the fit is good. It's all on my foot. And whether I'm wearing real ass gym shoes or cute snakes, but to work out, these make me feel like I'm an athlete and they're keeping me from getting athlete's foot. So head over to bambas.com/alana and use the code Alana for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombas.com, B-O-M-B-A-S.com/ilana, I-L-A-N-A. And then use the code Ilana I-L-A-N-A for 20% off your first purchase. I'm loving 20% off. Okay. So dating Tova, I also find it a show of strength for a man to date a Jewish woman. Oh. Yes. But it's just because I'm a Jewish woman. But I guess, okay, your mom's a Jewish woman. There's certainly something being fulfilled there. Yeah. But did you feel like, okay, did you start identifying as Jewish then? Because I feel like honestly, this is really my context, is since October 7th, not many people speak up and when they do, not many Jews speak up for Palestinian humanity and dignity, but when they do, you fucking notice and you're one of those Jews. So that's when I'm like, oh, this is my Jewy guy right here, my progressive Jewy guy. So I'm just curious how it came. I grew up with Jewish community for sure. I went to so many bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. And I just was very comfortable being like, "I'm Jewish, but I don't partake in these things." Always the bridesmaid, never. The bride. Yeah. We did Passover and we went to temple here and there, here and there. And then I remember in college, I had this moment where there was a teacher who also felt like he persuaded me to go to this college in the first place because he was going to help me be the star or whatever and then kind of abandoned me. Wait. Where's this teacher from? University of Miami. So I went for musical theater. Oh. I though he. Went to. NYU. I. Wish. Good. Let's get that out there. I would much rather that be the note. I did a CAP 21 program, which was like a summer program via NYU. Okay. Copy that. University of Miami. So this teacher says,"Come to University of Miami.". When I visit there, he's like, "You see that guy? He's the star on the town," which we watch. He was like,"I want you to be the leading man going forward.". Sorry to laugh. In your face. But I'm just picturing a young you being like. Of. Course. It's very persuasive. I mean, hook line a sinker. He's told me a false bill of goods. And who knows? You're. The. Perfect face and heart to be like, "I'm finally being seen. And I'm going to be the person that I've always wanted to be. That is so funny, Sean Marco. Okay, continue. Cracking me up." I went and I don't know where I didn't meet his. Maybe I was more stubborn than he thought I was going to be or I didn't follow. Some people followed him. He had a guru, very smart. Gross. Gross. He was charming and smart and talented. How old. Was he? God. I mean, I would guess in his 40s. A handsome gay guy. And he had a beautiful house and he would invite students for Jewish holidays. And here's the thing. He was a Jew? He. Was a Jew. Okay. Copy that. He did not invite me to these things. And this was sort of after our, I wouldn't call it a falling out because it was just like he lost interest in me. Ew. Ew. Yeah. I. Don't even mean this guy. I'm just saying teachers who use their position to create a little world where they get to be the leaders. And it's like. You're. Manipulating kids. I don't care if you're a college kid, that's a literal kid. You. Know what I mean? It's just that gross pattern of that microcosm. For. Sure. And I don't know, maybe if I had, it could have been that I didn't worship him, or it could be that he thought I was gay and I wasn't. Because I think he did have a lot of fellow gay students, they would go out. And I don't think it was anything. He wasn't like fucking up. I never heard anything untoward like that. But it was just like, yeah, it was just that thing. It's not hard to believe that he thought at 18 that I just hadn't realized yet. And that I would be part of this gay groupy student thing. Maybe. Not that. But ultimately I remember I had a good friend who was Jewish and he was like bar mitzvah the things. And I complained. I said,"He never invites me to these things." And it doesn't even seem like a popular thing. It's like all the Jewish students are invited. And then my friends, he said to me, he said, "Yeah, but you're not really Jewish." And it was just one of those moments where I never defended being Jewish or I'd never, but I was like, "Yes, I am." It was a real like, "What are you talking about?" Totally. And I'm not even saying. Okay, it did just come up for me. I'm like,"Because your mom is Jewish."But I'm also like,"If you're Jewish and you identify that way, you just are.". The mom thing is always funny though, because I don't give a shit about that either. It could be your dad, but it's like by your own rules, by the rules of the thing, I'm also Jewish. And I just get rubbed the wrong way by commune. I just think when a Qasid would be like,"Are you Jewish?" There's something about that automatically, it bumps up against. Something. 100. It's so crazy. Well, are you, obviously you are, but it's so invasive and the way that they come at you. It's totally. Invasive. And. For some people, they love it or they hit a point in their life. They're like,"I need a community." And that community's there for them. But for me, it was just like it always something about it. It was also a thing of, I also think it comes back to a lot of my friends were gay guys or women. And then when you go into Hasidas, there's a much stricter divide between the genders and socialization and there's not that many openly gay Hasids. So I just think it's also an aspect of like, oh, I'm not into. Guys. I'm not into hanging out with the boys. And. It's like you're hanging out with the boys. You're on another side of the wall and. You're. Only dancing with the boys. You ever go to. Habad? A couple times. Tova's brought me. I did a couple times in college and then the divide of the men and women, you're. Like."This is so fucking nuts. This is. Crazy." So you and Tova would be like later. She'd. Say, "This will bring us closer together." And I'm like,"Great." And then we go and I don't see her for four hours. And I grow closer to her father. And the guy's side, it's very, we're looking at the book, we're listening to the thing. And I hear on the other side - Women were gossiping. Or gossiping. I'm like,"I belong on the other side of this wall.". That's right. It's a chat past. Yeah. Okay. So this person in an exclusion, you were like, "Wait, I am a Jew.". Yeah. So it was just like, it's just this thing of realizing, oh, even though I don't necessarily opt in a lot of ways, I do feel like this is part of my identity. Because if I'm not a Jew, what am I? Well. Also, you know what's forming for me as you're saying this is that I'm wondering how your Jewish identity and finding your political voice might have coincided. Yeah. I think it's like I always, I grew up going to a very liberal high school, Georgetown Day School, which was one of the two schools Obama almost sent his kids to. It was like - Oh, I love. That brag. Yeah. It was a school that was known, I believe it was the first integrated school in America, I believe. Holy shit. Also, you called the teacher by the first name. There was no dress code. You could leave campus. We had Martin Luther King Jr. Week. We were limited to a day. We had, if I recall correctly, once a week my freshman year, I forget what it was called, whether it was racial awareness class or equality class or some kind of progressive values class. Private school? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like 120 per grade. I do remember this one moment that when I reflect back on people, the part of progressivism that rubbed people the wrong way, I remember there was this teacher, it was a Latin teacher and he was a nerdy white guy. And he had to do an assembly. He was reading a passage from The Odyssey because he had nothing else to talk about. And it was like Odysseus cries to the heaven,"My soul is black with the pain of missing my wife and child." And then a black teacher, black English teacher from the back of the room stood up in the middle of the assembly and said,"My soul is black and I am proud." And I remember in that moment feeling like,"Okay, but this poor teacher did not mean any harm at all. He's just translating to Latin for the group." And it was just that moment of being like,"I felt bad for this teacher who was very publicly being misinterpreted and shamed in a way that I was like, if you told me he voted for Trump, I go," Okay, I get it. I understand why you might feel a little mad. "I'm. Actually confused. The guy was saying you're claiming blackness, the black teacher? No. The guy was in some of this old poetry, the word black as an adjective would be used to describe a negative or a pain or a loss or whatever. But this. White guy's reading it and the black teacher was offended. Yeah. He said," My soul is black and I'm proud. "And I'm like," Okay, this is a deliberate misinterpretation. It's not even these teacher's words. He's a Latin teacher. He doesn't have a lot of options of what to read from. And it was just a moment where I went to such a progressive school where I felt like being at a young age being like,"This feels wrong what happened here. This doesn't feel like it moved the needle." Like. It's liberal, not progressive. It's like. Claiming. Some sort of badge. Yeah. It's a badge. But it's not progressive. Things for. Me. It's through shame. It was not trying to have a conversation. It was like a public shaming of a guy who. And not to be too harsh to this guy, he's a loser. He's a loser. And I just remember it as a moment of the school where I was like,"Oh brother, this is tough." But it certainly instilled in me a generally hyper progressive perspective. I do think the school did a really good job of, even in that instance where it felt like, oh, well, these are the tools the school taught me. Is this just a constant where are people coming from? What is the backstory to this? Questioning. And then I also got in trouble in school, which I think also formed a lot of my political views. After the end of every theater run, we'd stay overnight to take down the set. We'd do a strike. And it was a very classic, you'd get drunk, people would get high, you'd make out. You'd ultimately take down the set somehow. And then all the parents got food and you'd watch a movie and you woke up there and say - That's so cute. It was beautiful. That's adorable. And my year, someone happened to pull the fire alarm as a prank. And it was whatever. We ended up going back inside. We still took down the set. But it launched a school-wide investigation of what happened. And before we knew it, all the seniors and juniors were getting in trouble. I was a sophomore at the time. So we were like, "Oh, we're safe." And then they started persecuting who brought pot brownies, who brought vodka in a Gatorade bottle. And before we knew it, they were interrogating each one of us. And all of this against the backdrop of we knew this school was known as the drug school. We knew some of these teachers used to smoke pot with their students back in the'80s. So we're really feeling the hypocrisy of all this. And they didn't want. It's a small private school. They didn't want everyone's college grades to get affected. They didn't want their admissions to suck. So they gave most of us, including me, probation, because you didn't have to report that to college. All it meant is I couldn't leave campus for two months for lunch. And then the year I applied for colleges, they changed the rules and you had to tell colleges if you were ever put on probation. And I was generally such a goodie two shoes kid. I drank a couple times, but on the spectrum, I was nothing. And then I had to write all these colleges, a personal letter being like, "Not only did I get caught drinking, I drank on campus." And it was, I think, one of those moments - At this. Takedown thing. Yeah. Yeah. And it was one of these things where there were drug dealers on campus. There were so many people doing so many things all the time. And we knew the teachers had done stuff. And it just felt so. It really felt like in a microcosm, being the victim of a corrupt justice system. I was just going. To say, it's very police state. Yes. Where they're. Groovy or whatever, and then they're interrogating you. Yeah. Yeah, that. Sucks. And. Thinking of the people who didn't get in trouble, who did much work, blah, blah, blah. And I really think that shook me to a degree of understanding how the people at the top are safe and the people at the bottom, the sophomores are the ones getting fucked. And that definitely made me go like, "Oh, the system's bullshit," in a deep way that I think expanded from that. Right. I went to school. My high school had 3,000 kids and In my class, it was like we only could fit three grades in this big high school. My class was like 750 kids. That's wild. It. Was like fucking cattle. I waitressed at this small breakfast and lunch spot. And I grew up on Long Island, not with Jews. Jews are in Nassau County. This with Italians and Irish. And not to stereotype, but in reality, there was mafia in our town, a lot of mafia. And this place that I waitressed at from ages 14 to 18 is where I put the system together in my head. Oh yeah. Because. There was cops and it was truly mafia. And it was also like guys who inherited landscaping companies from their dads and they didn't actually do the landscaping. They hired immigrant workers, you know what I mean? But were so racist. I grew up in such a racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic when that was even on the spectrum of awareness place. And really antisemitic. I received antisemitic and anti-black racism as a kid because people didn't even know where to put it. Did you get this, like Holocaust jokes and. Shit? No. I think my school's so Jewy. There was nothing. There was no boy. And wherever you grow up, you think that's the normal thing. So I though this was normal. It was really, really crazy. My town got so conservative. It went like QAnon for a while. QAnon people in the library. But did you feel like when things were changing, you were like, "Oh yeah, I know these people." I think when the country, I think when Trump won - No, won under. There was a certain contingency of us that were like, "How?". Yeah, yeah. No. How could there possibly be this many people that would do this? Trump raised so much money initially in the rich part of our town. Oh my gosh. John Marco, I hope maybe we'll like this story. In our town, we have levels of class as indicated by stickers. So if you grew up in Nissaquag, you have a sticker that's like,"I'm the richest and closest to the beach," and the cops don't stop you for speeding. There was head of the harbor was upper middle and they would have a different sticker. So is that crazy? And then whatever, the rest of us had no sticker. So we would just be stopped driving to the beach if you went two miles per hour over the speed limit or whatever. That's crazy. A sticker. It's kind of like Truman show. It's like a joke symbol of it. It's a. Fucking Dr. Seuss book I think of all the time with the stars. You know the one where everyone has a star and then they get rid of the star and then they get two stars? It's just about- I don't actually. Oh, it's a great. It's about class essentially. Yeah. But it's a good book. You should check it out. Yeah. Don't read it on the train. It'll be like, oh God, Dr. Seuss. Okay. So you're a big old Jew and always have been. Yeah. I mean, it's so hard to know because I watch Seinfeld with my dad a lot, and I feel like that certainly created the spine of my Zionism. It gave me. There's sometimes where I'm like, how much of my Jewishness was informed by the culture of what being Jewish is and watching Seinfeld and being complaining and funny. And who knows? It's so weird because my mom hates Seinfeld. My mom generally doesn't like what I would call any kind of Jewish comedy because she just goes like, "Ugh, this is my life. I deal with this." Is. She so funny? I've always tried to figure this out because I know she has an influence on me and I think I'm so close to it, I can't always see it. She's definitely cynical. She's definitely negative. And she overshares in a way that I do. Recently, we did a little web thing together, and I was embarrassed by how much she overshares. And I'm like, "Oh, this is what I do." So I do think there's a degree of we share personal details when it's pertinent for entertainment. I'm like, "Oh, I think I got that from you. I think I got that from you." So I don't remember being laughing it up. She wasn't telling jokes, but it must be from her. So you grew up in Maryland and then you go to University of Miami to pursue Broadway and acting. Yeah, musical theater. I was like, "I'm going to be a musical theater star.". Were you Jones Inc for New York the whole time? Yeah. I didn't think of TV and film as a thing. It was just like, I love musicals. I want to be in a Sondheim show. I want to do this show. I want to do that role. I want to be. It's just the way that I think of I'm going to be a tenor that can sing anything they want, which is crazy. It's crazy to make that decision before confronting your own bodily limitations. So did you only move to New York after college? So we did a showcase in New York. We did a showcase in LA. The. School? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. And mostly - I. Didn't study acting. I went to NYU and I did -. Much more useful to have just gone to NYU than get a BFA. It's so much about, I really want to do either a TED Talk or a sneaky lectures at conservatories. And my conclusion is kind of to not go to the college for the arts, unless it's something like NYU or Northwestern where I think you're meeting people who will. But a conservatory, my conservatory, by the time it ended, there were only 11 people in it. Crazy. I would say three actively, maybe more, maybe that's harsh, but that's not a lot. No, that's crazy. I would say that there's two people who are producing things. But I would see these NYU kids and it was like, especially in the beginning, be like, oh, you know the editor of Timeout Comedy New York at a time when that would help. You know this person, you know that playwright. Because this also though to me is like a private school track where they're like, school will save you. And it's like, I got to get a job. It's weird. It's like the conservatory mentality is like, we'll make you just so good that you'll be able to get into the industry as the industry was shifting so wildly. And they're not getting you that good either. But you bring so much New York pride and are so New York that I'm like, I just picture you dying to get. Here. Yeah. I came up here a lot as a kid. I saw a lot. My dad, because it was a train ride, a three-hour train ride. So my dad, he loved to splurge and we would stay at the Plaza or the Waldorf. So cute, so dramatic. And my grandparents lived in a Greenwich Village. So they had a place that I fantasized about inheriting and then they sold it for$1.8 million, smaller than this room. And so I did have fantasy Broadway. It was like Broadway, Broadway, Broadway. Got it, got it. Came up a lot as a kid, did two different summer camps here. And yeah, that was the end goal. And then right after college, I just happened to meet a crazy but talented acting teacher who was like,"Come join an acting company in Philly." So I went to Philly for almost a year after college. Oh my. God. And then that imploded and then I moved to New. York. Right. So when was your shift from your Broadway dreams to comedy? I think by the end of college, the singing was not. It was now going down. This is so funny. Jean-Marco, the singing. Really. The singing. The singing, it just wasn't getting better. And I practiced. Again, I've always been a little crazy, but I neglected, I think, a fun, healthy college life because every morning I was practicing for two hours. And then it wasn't until senior year that you're like - Oh wait. Can I picture this? Alone in a room? Alone in a very hot practice room that you had to trade in your ID for a key for. And it's a sauna. It's a tiny little room. And to music, to a piano player, you playing. Chiro? Just scales. Scales like a praise, like a all work and no play makes DeMarco adult boy. La, la, la? Yeah. Sometimes meow, meow, meow, sometimes me momu, all sorts of vowels and consonants. And I had like. Hold on. Everything you could imagine. I'm picturing also just a younger, even thinner you is crying. Yeah. Thinner because I was sweating. It was sauna. It was crazy. Like a prison. I'm sorry, I'm cracking up. Yeah. You two hours every day alone singing scales with no music. Honestly, I'm moved. I'm touched. It was - That. Is so sweet. It's funny. It was crazy. If I go back in time, it's like I'd break the glass and be like, get. Out. Of here. That is so. Wild. I did that in college, but I was doing the comedy scene, so it was more communal. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing. But I had barely had a college experience. I had three friends at college, you know what I mean? And they were also like,"Why don't you hang out?" And I was like,"I have to do comedy." I had the same OCD thing, but it's painful how removed you were from the thing that you were meant to. Be at. Yeah. That's the nice thing about doing comedy at least. Even standup. I mean, I was still pretty focused and had a laptop out working, but at least I was getting out of the house and having to confront and talk to people. Totally, totally. So I had a very classic college existential crisis, just like what is the point of anything? And literally, it was during one of these practice sessions that I think something clicked me where I was like, "What's the point of living?" And I was like, "Brother, you're not even alive. Maybe if you open the door, you could start there.". Yeah. Get some air in here. Yeah. Literally. I was probably just dehydrated. I'm also picturing you in a black turtleneck and black tights. So what was the switch? What was the discovery with standup? It was just like, so that I- I mean. You talk about it in Thieve of Joy that a friend pitched it, right? Yeah. So then after that I went to the acting company, I was like,"I'm going to be an actor. I'm going to be Daniel Day Lewis. I'm going to be like that level of Wild." And then I wrote a play in New York for the Fringe Festival here, and it was meta autobiographical, and I talked to the audience in between scenes. We always pitched it as Annie Hall as told by Charlie Kaufman. It was that kind of meta type but self-autobiographical romance. And just all the feedback was like, we love the part where you talk to the audience. And I was like,"And what'd you think of this scene?" And they're like,"And when you talk to the audience after, that was exciting." And I had a friend who was like,"I think you should focus on this." And I'd done the standup class once and I had done three Bringer shows where I felt like I'm a standup. But after that, I started leaning in. And standup, I think, fulfilled that ADHD. I could do whatever I want every night. And I need such constant feedback. If I were to write a play, whatever woman I was dating at the time, it would be a constant brush of, can you please look at this? Can you please look at this? Look at this. Hysterical. Oh. My God. And with standup, that literally that process is the final product. It's kind of incredible. So it's like I realized the process of it appealed to all my emotional things. And then I just fell in. Love. Got hooked. You're so fucking good at it, and you breathe such new life into the. There's this masculinity around it where it's like I barely even try. I show up and I take a dump on stage and that's my fucking standup. And you're so earnest and clearly in love with it and in love with the audience, and it's so refreshing. Thank you. Speaking of masculinity, we're in this moment where weak, insecure masculinity is ruining the world. I mean, I see you as someone who's secure in their masculinity. What do you attribute that to? Or even how could you touch upon your journey to getting here if there was such a journey? It's hard because I always felt like I was just always kind of flamboyant, not particularly into sports. And I think I just was around so many gay people. The threat that I think so many guys have is that they're going to be called gay or perceived as gay or something and then ousted from the community. It's very strange. I don't fully grasp it, especially when it comes to sports. I had a friend from middle school and he was a soccer player. And I remember once post-college, we were with all his soccer friends and we were going to go out for the night. This was not my ideal night. We were at the guy's house, everyone pregaming. And this guy, he showered, he came out and we're all there for us to go out. And he just stood there kind of naked, chatting to us for like 15 minutes, very locker roomy, but we were going out. And it was this thing where I was like, I've been to Fire Island and seen Les Cock than this. And so you're like, okay, so what is it then? How does this become this kind of very, you got to be a. And I don't fully grasp it always. I don't fully grasp because you look at some of these things. You look at even Trump and he's flamboyant. I know. And that's part of why people like him so much. Because he's a dude, but he's colorful. I'm trying to just think where. I just think it's tied to more than the masculinity thing. I think it's just like guys scared that they're going to lose their power in the world and their dominance and they become so anxious about what it's going to look like when things are more equal. I think this is kind of what a lot of people do. It really is tied to a feeling of anxiety and fatalism that it's like, oh, well, if you let women have more of a voice, we're going to become. The almost cliche thing to say is, "Oh, you're worried you'll be treated like women?" But I do think that's the hyper anxiety that leads to a very kind of toxic masculinity. I. Think it's also. Because they're about to die, the baby boomers, and they want us all to die with them. Absolutely. I mean, we have no. Ironically, even just the people pushing religion the most, they have no religion. They have no dealing with death at all. Right, exactly. I know, because if you were more connected to God, you wouldn't be so afraid of death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Well, to leave it on that note, death, masculinity, Jews, I think we covered our buckets that we discussed before. Thanks so much for joining me today. Thank you for having me. Oh, what a delight. Cracking me up. Cracking me up as intended, and then also as not intended. And I'm laughing in John Marco's face, which I think is fair game for two comedians. This has been an exclusively human-made production. It has also been a Starbucks production. I want to thank my creative producers of Its Open, Anika Carlson, David Brooklyn. I want to thank Madeline Kim, Glenys Mahar, and Kelsey Kylie. I want to thank our Tova editor. Our editor. Editor. I want to thank our editor. Tova Liebowitz. I also want to thank the people who made this episode look and sound so good and so beautiful. Kevin Deming, Lexa Kreps, and Nicole Maupin. I want to thank Raymo Ventura for our opening musical sting and beautiful branding and Don Hur, the band with Elliot Glazer, Jimmy Hines, and Derek Murrow, all from Smithtone for this outro sting. Listen, guys, if you like this podcast or love this video podcast on YouTube or anywhere you podcast, please like and subscribe. It really makes the difference for if we can make this show and continue to make it independently and the way we motherfucking want for you. Listen, I hope that you just have a great day. Take some time for yourself outside this bonkers society we've created after the past 100,000 years of existence. And just be a human today. You human being with you. Love you. Bye.