The Perry Center Podcast

1.6 What Mentorship Really Looks Like

• The Perry Center • Season 1 • Episode 6

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0:00 | 45:41

In this episode of The Perry Center Podcast, we are joined by Danny and Andrea Almquist, a husband and wife duo who stepped into mentorship in a way they never expected—and have since watched it grow into a deeply personal friendship that has become part of everyday life.

Andrea began by mentoring a young woman from The Perry Center, initially feeling unsure of her ability to step into that role or what it would even look like. Over time, what started as formal mentorship has turned into a genuine friendship. Danny later began mentoring the resident’s husband, and together they’ve walked alongside this young family through marriage, parenting, and life after The Perry Center.

This conversation is a beautiful picture of what long-term, relational support can look like when people simply show up, stay consistent, and allow space for real friendship to form beyond a formal mentoring role.

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🎙️ The Perry Center Podcast
A ministry sharing real stories of mothers, families, and faith in action.

🔗 Learn more about The Perry Center: www.perrycenter.org

SPEAKER_00

Hey friends, welcome to the Perry Center Podcast where life meets life. My name is Nate. I'm the executive director for the Perry Center Maternity Home. And I'm joined with some friends, uh, Danny and Andrea. Uh, thanks for for being here and being on this podcast.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_03

Here we go.

SPEAKER_00

I love I love doing podcasts with friends because this is where we can be awkward, and everyone's like, this is so weird. And like, what do I do with my hands and what camera do I look at? Um, but I'm super grateful that you're here. Um, I'm super grateful that you guys are passionate about what we do here. Uh, we actually just did a tour, like a two-minute tour before, and it's like night and day from what it was, right?

SPEAKER_02

Oh my, I can't believe it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Blows my mind. And so the effect that you had, like just walking in, you're like, oh my gosh, our residents are are having that same feeling and that same excitement. And I think that's that's so fun. And so I love that you guys have kind of just been all in. Uh, your daughter works here, yeah, and uh she's been sorting bricks of diapers.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, she has.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, what has she been like, what what did I get myself into?

SPEAKER_02

No, she actually really likes it. Okay, she loves the residents. Really? She wishes like that they talk, like the ones that don't talk to her. Yeah, she's like, I just I want them to talk to me more, you know. There's one, I don't know who it is, there's a resident, and she really loves the kids.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. So yeah. I love that uh her interview was barely an interview because I just, you know, yeah, our kids do school and life together, and you kind of just know the families, and you're like, this is a no-brainer, this would be great. And and so I was trying to explain the job to her, and I was like, You're gonna be doing everything. And she was like, Oh, I'm you know, like what specific I was like, don't ask questions. It's gonna be like everything, every day is going to be different for you. You're gonna go to the grocery store, you're gonna sort piles of diapers, uh, you're gonna clean things, and so it's been good. Yeah, super grateful for for her and you guys just allowing her to uh come to the Perry Center and be a part of our ministry. Uh so you guys kind of have a unique perspective, and so on this show, we're always trying to just share deeper dives of the Perry Center, our residents, some of the history pieces. And uh, so in this episode, I wanted to talk about uh mentoring and our mentor program that we have. So you guys collectively collectively do this, like husband and wife uh mentor um our residents, and I think the resident that you were paired with, it's kind of the perfect match. Perfect. Um the perfect match. And I remember how this conversation started, and we we'll get into it, but this resident in particular has a husband, and so what I what I find really powerful is that you guys are doing this together, and you are mentoring another couple, it's not just a a mom and her baby, but you're mentoring a husband as well, and I think that's super powerful. I'd love to see more of that. But tell me a little bit like what's your perspective of how we got to where we are as far as mentoring.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it was at the park volleyball game.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

Our daughters must have been on playing volleyball together.

SPEAKER_00

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

Yep, and I still remember you're like, hey, you know, what are you up to? I'm like, I what do you mean?

SPEAKER_00

It was very direct. It was playing aloof a little bit. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And basically you just said, I think you should be mentor mom. And I was like, I I don't know what that is, I don't know about that. Yeah, and you just said, pray about it. And I think it was, was it almost a year later?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, maybe somewhere around there.

SPEAKER_02

And I was like, I think maybe that's something I want to do. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I I feel like it started with like a bug in your ear. Like, would you consider something like this? And the natural disposition is to be like, I'm busy, I don't have time, can't do it. I hear it all the time. I don't accept that, obviously, because you're here. But I also know like we as believers and even standing in the same life movement, like we gotta spur each other on, and we have to push people to uncomfortable places.

SPEAKER_02

I actually appreciated that you did that, and I never stopped thinking about it, and I wouldn't have done it had you not called me out. I know so it was, I mean, it was good.

SPEAKER_01

And from like my perspective, it was like this time she was doing BF BSF. Yeah. But it was this like like I feel like I'm called to do something more, yeah. Like to spend maybe someone younger women, and then all of a sudden you ask that question. It's like it's just sparked that. Yeah, I think she contemplated it for a while, but for the most part, I think she was already feeling a pull towards like not mentoring, but maybe like doing a Bible study with younger generations, and then it's like you planted that and just kind of stoked that flame and it just kind of took off.

SPEAKER_00

And you have like a highly energetic personality, you're bubbly, happy all the time. I never see you frustrated or upset. So congratulations. Wow, well, let me tell you some stories.

SPEAKER_02

Uh my kids gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe possibly it's on the internet, it's there forever. Um, but what I love, um, yeah, what I love was the season that we were in, there was a resident that had the same type of energy, the excitement, the bubble, like she's smiling all the time. And every time I looked at her, I was like, man, Andrea would be like you guys would be two peas in a pod. Um, and and so I that's where I was just like, hey, I know we talked about this, but I have a resident that would be perfect for you, and it didn't take long for you to say yes. And then you're a busy mom with multiple kids, and life is is there's a lot going on. And so when we paired you guys, what was that kind of like? What was your initial thought? And uh maybe Danny, if you have any thoughts on that too.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I mean, I was definitely nervous for sure. I just didn't know what to expect. Right. And I think I remember our first meeting. I even asked her that like, what do you expect? Like, what are your expectations of this? Like, who who am I to you? Am I your friend? Do you want a mom? You know, do you want me to be your chauffeur or do you want to like come to my house? You know, I just didn't know um what she was expecting. And honestly, when I asked her, she didn't know either. Um but I think it still was good to ask that. It felt it felt helpful and kind of just like, oh yeah. Um but she was I mean, easy for me to start for sure. Yeah, totally a joy. It definitely um has evolved, you know, like I mean, just like any relationship, you have to get to know somebody. Um and in the beginning it felt maybe more like a mentorship. I mean, not like, I mean, I think you could attest, I'd always be like, I'm not adequate for this. I I don't know what I should say or like what I should. I mean, you know, our personalities are probably similar, but like our lives are so different. Yes, you know? So it's like I don't know how to speak into that, or like I've never experienced that. So feeling inadequate definitely um, but now now I, you know, now we're a year and a half in or something like that. Um now I just feel more it's more of like a friendship. And now we um, you know, we get together every week, and right now we're doing a Bible study, and I don't feel like I'm coming to the table to tell her something, you know, like we're both coming, and like, how did it speak to you? And how did like, you know, so um that's been really cool.

SPEAKER_00

That's so good. See, these are the things I don't hear, so I have no I don't get all the insight scoop that like people are still getting together, so that that makes me really happy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we actually we did a couple, we read a couple books together, and then um now we're doing an actual Bible study that has like homework every day. Yeah, come on, let's get it. Yeah, and then um so we meet every week and it's been great. I mean it's just so good to be it reminds you how big the kingdom is. You know? It's not just for people that look like me and sound like me and have a life similar to mine. Um it's just you know, it's for everyone and listening to how the Lord is speaking to her and redeeming her, like all the things. I mean, every time I come home, I'm like, I feel like I'm on like a God high, you know, like it's inspired my faith along the way and reminded me like, oh yeah, I mean, I sometimes, you know, maybe in a life more like ours, it's like we know he's faithful, but are we experiencing it every day? Yeah, you know, I mean we are, but we're not noticing that we are, you know what I mean? Or like so, anyways, that part has been super good and it has come home to the kids too.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Well, everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. No, I think like how it started. I think there is, you know, you don't know. Like you get this kind of thought in your head, this is what it's gonna be like, um, this is what she's gonna look like, this is what it's gonna be, and then you go and you're like, oh man, she's she's great. You know, like she smiles, she's she's fun, she, you know, but a very diverse story, just kind of crazy story. And it's like, man, that just evolved over time. And I would say, I guess, at first it was probably mentorship, but now it's more like, all right, this is growing in, we're doing life together. You know, like this is this is life, you know, you're coming to the table, you're talking about things, um, talking about life, yeah, you know, but it's been cool to see it evolve in that way where like I think your expectation was like, oh, this is gonna be awkward and weird. Um, I'm probably inadequate, like my life has been very straight line, nothing too crazy. And then you just had that relationship. Like she broke, I'd say she broke down your barrier too. Totally. Right, like she like reached you and like connected with you, and it just like took the wall down, and now you guys are like just doing life, which is pretty cool to see.

SPEAKER_00

I think one of the one of the moments that I I remember was um in the last fall fundraiser, and you guys were all sitting at the table together, her and her husband, and and you guys, and in her impact video that she had, she talks about her mentor mom. And and like I it's one of the coolest, coolest moments because in that video she's like, I love her and she loves me, and like we're best friends. And I was like, I'm wrecked, like just watching that unfold, that that's exactly what our intentions are with that. That you guys are willing to do just that life on life ministry, meet them where they're at, um, all of their history, all of that stuff, and say, We don't care about that. Yeah, we're interested in who you are now and where you're gonna go. Um, so with with uh Ashley in particular, you know, she's she's married, and uh at what point did Danny kind of get involved? Because you got this was an Andrea thing that eventually you got roped into because we're like, also, here's a guy uh that maybe uh you want to have some conversations with.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that I mean it happened a month or two in. Probably. I don't know exactly when, but it was like, all right, Ashley has this guy. Um he works nights, so we can't really hang out with him very often. That was tricky. Which was super tricky, but like, hey, he's off, I think, on a Friday night. Um, he'll wake up at like five o'clock. Do you want to do try to do dinner? And so we went to like get pizza and pasta together, and we brought literally we were it was Ashley and Brett on one side, Henry and I, and then a table full of kids over on the other side, and we like just like got to know them, you know, and we're asking questions about you know where you're from, like where'd you grow up, how'd you end up in North Dakota, those kind of things. Yeah, um, but I mean again, it's one of those things where it's pretty easy. The guy, intelligent guy, hardworking, dedicated, and it's like, and he has all the aspects like one of my friends would have, you know, one of my hat friends would have. So like easy to connect with them. So it was at that. McKinsey, McKinsey, McKinsey River, yeah, something like that. Pizza joint, I don't know. Exactly. It was great.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I actually took Brett out to Sammy's Pizza Downtown. And uh, and just to get to know him as well. Okay, you're around, what does this mean? And um how do we come alongside you as well? And we've we've kind of been in an interesting season. Uh, I think we're kind of out of it right now, but we've had a lot of residents that have hadn't been in their life. Um, you know, if that's a husband, if that's fiance or boyfriend. And the challenge for us is how do we come alongside these guys around? Because it seems like they're gonna stick around. So, how can we mentor them? How can we build them up? We see so many women when they graduate or program and they're still in a relationship, they're like they're significant others, like she's so much further ahead than I am. Like, what is there anything for me? And and I think something like this mentor program um can do wonders for for these couples. I mean, for those that want to make a change, it's not for everybody, and you guys know that. Um, so with with mentoring, what has been it comes with challenges, right? Especially early on. I think it's great that you started with expectations. Like, who am I to you? What does this look like? How do we get together? The details, right? Not everybody goes through those conversations. We try to set the table a little bit, but it really is on the mentor to like this is what we'd like to see, or how it works. So, what were some of those challenges coming into this or initially that you were facing?

SPEAKER_02

Um, I mean, just like I kind of mentioned personally, I just I definitely felt inadequate. I just didn't know. Like a mentor, that sounds like I should know something or something, you know, like um, so I would frequently be like, I don't have like I don't know what I'm not a counselor, I'm not, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Um and they just start unloading day one, uh like uh chat GPT, what do I do? Help me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. Um and time was hard, yeah. Like juggling, you know, my own kids, their schedule, but wanting her and them to feel important and like um, you know, making time. Um, and then as the relationship evolved more, like, you know, for the first I don't know, six months or whatever, like we would just meet for coffee, and then they would come to dinner at our house, and then you know, I would say to Danny, like, I feel like we need to do more, like just to meet for coffee. We've talked about a lot of things for six months, you know. I there was a piece of me that was like, I don't want her to get bored with me, you know, like we should do something.

SPEAKER_03

She's passing me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Um, so, anyways, and then you guys had held um uh like a dinner for mentor moms, and that was one of the ideas is to like read a book or like invite her to your small groups and stuff. So we actually did, and um, she's come. Brett worked overnight, so it didn't work, yeah. It was hard, yeah. Um, but she has come to that, and then we did a couple books together, like like not a novel, like a not a Bible study, but you know, like a god book that had like discussion questions, yeah. Um and that was really enjoyable, and it like sparks good conversation, you know. Again, though I'd be like, uh I don't have the answer, but I think that's they're so honest, which makes them easy, and then it allows us to be honest, like I don't know. Yeah, right, you know, right?

SPEAKER_00

That's good.

SPEAKER_01

I do think that's a great point. Like that's one thing that action bread have is that honesty. Yeah. Like they'll it's like it's so easy to be a friend to because it's like you you know what the truth is, you know, and they'll just kind of pour that out there and it's uh makes it yeah easier to have a relationship. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And now we're like, I we're in hockey season with our own kids, which is crazy. So, like, what's hard?

SPEAKER_00

Hockey for those that are not in this from this area, hockey in North Dakota, Minnesota is a real thing. It's a real thing. It's a way of life. It's it's a way of life. You're a hockey player, you're like, it's the way of life. Yeah. So um it's it's a little crazy for those listeners that are in California or Texas, they're like, I don't know what you're talking about. It's equivalent to like bow hunting down south. I don't know if that's the right. I don't know. I'm not from the from the south. Uh somebody will send me a message, be like, I'll tell you what we do down here. Football, football, football. Why did I pick bow hunting? I have no idea. It's on my mind, I guess. Sorry. Anyways, continue.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, so like stuff like that, like as life, you know, then it's hard to find time, or you know, even this hockey season time has been more like I'm meeting with her and they're not coming over as much, and then I feel bad. You know, like there's just like the ebb and flow of real life.

SPEAKER_01

Um But that that's it. Like, we try to have them over, and then I think someone's sick, and then or like Brett's dabbs come to town, we were gonna have the whole everybody over, have his dad over. Um, but then like his plane was delayed or something, he missed a flight, so he didn't show up, and then we were gone for hockey. Yep. And so it's just like we just kind of miss each other, but um, you know, we try to you guys for sure see each other once a week. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But that's I mean, that's true to life. Yeah, you know, with any relationship. I don't know how many times I try to set something up and it never works, and how many guys I've tried to like sit and play video games with that were like, yeah, it's never gonna happen. Not tonight. Maybe we'll we'll try again a text here or there, but it it goes a long way that uh that the effort is there.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Actually, I thought of something else that has felt hard sometimes is like watching them on the like there have been a couple of times where like we just want to fix it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And had to kind of be like, oh well, maybe that's part of the process to like learn and get back on your feet, or you know, like the like a home.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, it's like, you know, I don't want to be like, well, what can't we just like figure this out for them?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you know, like find another house.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know, or like we could be the renters and they can rent for like I don't know, just there were we've had a ton of conversations like that of like how you kind of want to be the savior sometimes. Yeah, you know, like how can we just want to fix it, you know? But learning like that is part of the process, part of their journey too. Yeah, you know, and just you know you know, doing little things, but for sure.

SPEAKER_01

But the thing beautiful thing is like they figure it out. Well, that's just it, yeah. They yeah, they're they're awesome, they they figure everything out and they get everything arranged, and it's it's fun to see.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, and I mean that's I mean, the same as parenting, right? We're raising them and teaching them. Totally, but there's gonna be times that they're gonna fall, and there's gonna be times that they're gonna struggle, and it's okay, what do we do? And I remember as a young teen going through things like this, and my parents are like, Do we let them just figure it out? And sometimes you feel like I don't want to be the standoff parent on this situation, but those are the moments that you learn and you grow, and you're like, that didn't go well, I'm not gonna do that again. Um and so what's beautiful, even with their story, is they come from really difficult. Backgrounds and some really heavy issues, and um everything is so new to them.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You know, when you're looking at sobriety or any of those pieces, that's decision making is different and it's harder. Yeah, like where you're like, I'm actually processing these things. Like I'm not just being uh spontaneous and just I'm doing this. And so it's nice that they at least have some guardrails because maybe they didn't have those growing up or just their situation that I mean, yes, you're not fixing their solution or fixing their problem, but you guys are those guardrails of no come back over here, like focus on this, and I think that's that's such an important piece for for them.

SPEAKER_02

And also, like when we take ourselves out of it, then it really allows the Lord to shine, you know. Yeah, and then when the pieces fall together, it's like, oh my gosh, look at like he continues to take care of you, you know.

SPEAKER_00

What have been some of those like highlight moments? Um, me looking at your life, 30,000 foot view, I would say the fall fundraiser was the highlight where I'm like, oh, that was so beautiful. That's what it was a beautiful moment. Um, but what would you say mentoring what have been those like this has been so good? And even when I said the challenges, those challenges didn't seem like they were that challenging.

SPEAKER_02

Right. It hasn't honestly, I mean, it hasn't been hard, really. Time is time is hard.

SPEAKER_01

I would say on our end, but like like their housing situation, right? Like they had to kind of figure out and navigate their living situation, which you know, as a as a listening ear, maybe not so stressful for us, but stressful for them. And so, like, it's fun to see them like succeed in all those things, but um, yeah, I don't know. I think it hasn't been too terribly hard, but I think it's just because we're watching and just like giving them advice once in a while, or you give Ashley advice once in a while. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_02

I think definitely um a highlight was probably the birthday party. It was fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I was there. Yeah, that should have been a highlight that I picked. So it was fun.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, it was a highlight for a lot of reasons. First of all, like I actually just felt so grateful that she asked. I was like, oh yes, like this is where we're at. She can ask me, you know, like I just felt so grateful. Um that's like one thing about the whole thing that we talk about all the time is like you know, when you're in relationship with people and people that are different than you or have a different story, and you just are kind of in awe, like that the Lord wants to use you, you know, like that you can partner with the Lord to like, you know, be the hands and feet, and but anyways, so that she asked, I just loved that. And I was like, oh, I just felt like like we had made it in our relationship or something, you know. Took it to the next level, yeah. Yeah. Um and then I still remember I don't know where we were, we were out of town, and she sent me a text, like, I'm freaking out. Can you call me or something? And you know, your heart just drops for something for like a hot minute, you know. And they called her, I'm like, what's the matter? And she was like, I think I invited too many people. Okay, no problem. Invite anybody.

SPEAKER_03

We're okay.

SPEAKER_02

But it was so great, and their kids were there, and it was just like it just felt joyful. Yeah, you know, and everybody there had a story, yeah, and everybody like it was just you know, kind of I think I mentioned, but like you just already minded, like the kingdom is actually really big. Yeah, you know, everyone's invited, and it just felt like an honor that we could provide you know.

SPEAKER_00

I loved it. I mean, I'm not much for like Saturday morning, you know, adventures on birthday parties. I'm not a big birthday party kind of guy, but to see the joy on their faces and to see like we have a place that we can actually host an event like this. And I mean, we weren't talking hundreds of people, it you know, there might have been like 15 people, or I can't even remember what it was, but just the excitement that they could invite people into your home. And what I love, and I I already shared this, that you guys set your preferences aside, how you like to operate the house, or how you like things set a certain way, or whatever it is, and you just served her and met her where she was at. And I think that that's such a big deal. Like when I invite people in my house, I'm like, here are my rules, you know, and and I'm and you didn't have that. It was it was a space where everyone could come in, feel welcome. There were people from all different backgrounds there, and you just created a beautiful space, the decorations and all the fun things that it's just she did the decorations.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't think we would cheat the decorations. True story.

SPEAKER_00

All of it was amazing, though. I mean, all of it was was incredible that you're willing to do something like that for some strangers too. Like you don't really have like any people that outside of uh your your resident that you're mentoring in. And so that's be proud of that. I think that's really special that you're willing to set those things aside.

SPEAKER_02

But it's so impactful. Like, I mean, even they all left, and our kids are like, Can we please do it again? Who other birthday parties can you do?

SPEAKER_00

You know, you could start a service, hear me out. Start a service where you provide your home for birthday parties. Just birthday, birthday parties. I was roaming around your property and this the like the sauna we were like checking that out, and there you go. Birthday parties. Um we'll put it in the link down below. It'll be right there. So V RBO.

SPEAKER_02

So But there truly is something like how the Lord like blesses it in ways that you can't, you know. Yeah, our kids just I mean, they love Ashley, but like when are they coming over again? Like when hot when you're done playing hockey, you know, right, right yeah, but hospitality is like a big piece, right?

SPEAKER_01

Like, I think this day and age a lot of people aren't hospitable, like they're not inviting people over, and it's like we want to create an environment for that. Like, that's our house, you know, like that's a place where you can meet and connect. So it's fun to do, like it's just fun, it's fun to see. Our kids get to see it, they get to join in. Yep, they can see hospitality and like just the love that gets poured out with that, which is yeah, so fun.

SPEAKER_00

One of our greatest challenges um at the Perry Center is finding mentors. It's it's a great challenge. I had to approach you and like hard sell it a little bit, well, more like voluntelling you. Um but it it is because it it is intended to be like a lifetime thing, and so we do have a lot of mentors, but as soon as they get paired with someone, we'll never see them again, which is the point. So uh there's there's an end every time, and so we're constantly like, we need more people, and we've heard all of the excuses of if it was a different season of my life, I'd I'd totally do that. You know, if if I wasn't so busy, I would totally do it. Uh if uh I was a little bit older, I would totally like all of these things, and all of it is can be true, but I think we often are in the way of what God is doing, and so creating that invitation, and um so even right now, I've said this many times, but we have residents that don't have mentors, and I know right now you want to like sign up for all of them. I'll take them all. Um, that's not how it works. Uh, but honestly, it it's such a great challenge. And even with some of the guys that we've encountered, like how do we mentor them? How do we build a group of men around them, an army? And so what kind of advice or how could you spur on that next generation of mentors, besides giving me your cell phone and I'll send out a mass text like, hey guys, we're all doing this together. Um, you know, how how do we get people involved and understand that the need is real and this that it is kingdom work?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, if people could just realize like it will bless you more than it even blesses them. You know, like yes, you're gonna give away your time and you know, all the things, but it's such a privilege to be used by the Lord and to like partner with what he's doing. And I mean, being involved with Ashley and Bread has strengthened our faith, has inspired our faith, has like made us excited about what God's doing. You know, sometimes we just kind of grow like just it's mundane, it's mundane, there we go, you know? And like, you know, walking alongside of them, it's like, oh my gosh, yes, God is up to something, you know, and like um, I mean, even since it's just crazy how the Lord works and intertwines, like since we've since we've been doing this mentorship, um, we've had family members now struggling in addiction and stuff. And just like I've you know, now I'm sitting with Ashley and like, okay, help me. Like what what's helpful? You know, like what should I say to her, or what what is not helpful, or like, you know, how I mean, so it it's just cool, the Lord uses it in more ways than you can ever imagine. Yeah, you know, and the impact on our kids and just like what does that look like?

SPEAKER_00

Tell me a little bit more about like what is that impact?

SPEAKER_01

I'll say our we have uh second grader, no, second grader? Second grader.

SPEAKER_00

Danny.

SPEAKER_03

The littlest one?

SPEAKER_01

Third grader, third grader, third grader. Come on, drop the ball. I do get all the stuff. Every night, so every night, oh yeah, every night we go to bed, um, and she always asks to pray. So she's a little prayer warrior, which is pretty awesome. But like she every night prays for them. Every night. And it's like if I miss him or like Andrew misses them, she's like, what about Ashley and Brett? Yeah, which like is such a cool thing, because like, oh man, so I know every night Ashley and Brett are getting prayed for. If it's not by me, if it's not by Andrew, it's for sure by our our daughter. Yeah, so like, and that's just fun to be part of. So it's impacting her, yeah. And it's it's more like, man, just keep going, like praying, like just Lord, keep keep them going, sustain them, keep them moving forward in this process. Cause like to hear where they were, to see what they're doing now, like I'm just along for the ride. I that's what I was telling her. It's like it's just fun to see, man. Like to see this life change because it's like sanctification over time, right? Like they continue to grow and change. Um, that's so good. It impacts our kids so much because it's like our daughter will pray. Yeah, and if we forget, she'll hold us accountable. It's like, hey, you didn't pray for them. Yeah. All right, yeah, let's do it. So which is fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And and I mean, they're they're so aware, right? I mean, they hear the conversations, um, and and that's something that I love seeing even with my kids. They're here all the time. Actually, I had a meeting not too long ago. It was a suit and tie meeting. Everyone's sitting around the conference table with a whole bunch of other guys wearing suits and ties, and Rowan comes. Rowan is my youngest, she is a Spitfire, and she comes walking in, opens the conference room door, sits on my lap, and then almost looked like, all right, let's continue. I was like, the CEO is here. Um, but they're so aware of the surrounding and and these women and what they're going through. And and so even if they're not hearing everything, they see it. Oh, yeah. They see, like, man, this person's life is very different than mine. And what a model for you guys, like to be able to lead your family well and say, we're going to do this, we're not above it, we're not below it, or anything. And they will remember those things forever. You know, I remember years back, my my dad would just open the house to strangers. I thought it was crazy. Sometimes I still do, but like when we're talking about Christmases or or anything, it was like, okay, dad, how many people did you invite? Like, who's actually going to show up? And just so that we know. Um, but it's a something something that I always remember: the hospitality, creating a home, creating a space where anybody can feel comfortable. And so um, you guys are leading your family, and who knows, future down the road, what you kids will be like. I remember my parents doing this, and this is how they came alongside um this couple. And so, me in my current situation, I want to do the same same thing. I think that's incredibly, incredibly impactful. So, our goal is to just grow the mentor program and uh and get people excited. So, if you're watching this and you want to get involved, reach out. The process is really simple.

SPEAKER_02

Very simple.

SPEAKER_00

What what was that process?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, it's oh man, I think I just came in and talked to Rachel. Was that it? The end like Am I missing something? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

There's a simple application online and just we might have skipped that process for you. I'm not sure. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I know I I think I did.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, just just an application and it's an interview for not for us to be like corner you with any questions, but just figure out your personality, how do you operate, what are you looking for? And we've gotten it wrong. I mean, it sounds sounds bad, but like we kind of approach it in like a dating service where you're trying to find like the personalities that match.

SPEAKER_02

I actually appreciated that. I remember like at the interview, I think Ashley was still pretty new because I found out afterwards that she was there, but you guys wait a certain amount of time or something before you pair them or something like that. Um, but I remember like in the waiting, thinking like I appreciated it thinking like, oh, they're they care, like they're praying about it. I don't want to just be matched with just anybody, you know. Like I wanted it to be a god thing, you know?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. And it definitely was. Um so interview process really simple, just to figure out that personality. And there's times we've gotten it wrong. Uh, I think of I had a teenage resident, um, she was probably 15, I think. And so we're trying to look at mentors. I'm like, she's gonna want somebody young, hip. Does anybody say hip anymore? I don't know. Like just like somebody really cool. And so we put these people together, and it just wasn't going well. And I asked this resident, I was like, you know, is there something that we're missing? And she's like, I was really hoping for a grandma. And I was like, What? And she goes, I I don't want someone like that's young, I just want someone that's a grandma. And I'm like, okay, we got it wrong, and so we fixed it, and and we were able to like move mentors and and residents and everything like that, but um just slowing down, hearing what they're looking for, what they've experienced in life. Um, you know, so the process is really simple, it's not a hard thing, it's about a once-a-week commitment, is what we're trying to ask. Sometimes it's just going to coffee, doing lunch, or bigger things like, hey, we're we're gonna hang out at the house, do some small group stuff, go to hockey games, whatever, whatever it is. But the most important thing is we're not looking for perfect people. And I think that's where there's the hang-up. People are like, well, I you know, my past or whatever. We're not interested. We're we're interested in people that are doing life different, and that's where the impact is gonna be. Um, and so I just just appreciate you guys and your heart for this ministry and saying yes, even when it felt forced. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just uh convinced to do it. But honestly, when we look at just how mentorship should go, this is this is it. And it's hungry. Um and so just very quickly as as we shift um to kind of closing, you guys did a tour through the Perry Center, you've been supporting this place. What are some of the things that you're excited about um when you are looking at the Perry Center? Because the beautiful the building's beautiful. Building's beautiful, but there's amazing things happening and amazing things coming up. What are some of those things? What are those pieces that you're like, this is why we love this place? And maybe you don't. I'm just making the assumption that you do.

SPEAKER_02

No, we do love this place. I think um one of the things that I think you guys do really well is relationships. And I think that's what these girls need, you know. I remember in the interview with Rachel, one of the things she said is like, we're looking for um, you know, a mentorship is about like building a community around her so that when she leaves, you know, she has people and she has, you know, a home or like a family or whatever. Um and I think you guys do that well. Even like my daughter who's working here, you know, like she gets the chance to talk to the residents and like get to know them. I think you guys just do a good job of like um like it's not me versus you, like we're we're in this together, you know. Even my teenage daughter who's here, like she's not afraid to talk to the residents, or like, you know what I mean? Like that it's not like I'm an employee and you're a you know, it's just like a home, and you're like showing them what it means to be a part of something and not be an island and that people care and I don't know, I I I admire that a lot.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, yeah, 100%. That's it's like connecting the relationship piece, um, which is you can see life transformed that way. Um yeah, so I think it's just yeah, 100%. Obviously, you have the facility, the place is beautiful. Yeah um, I mean you have the clinic, you have care for people, um, so you have like everything you need here, which I you know earlier I was saying, like, what a model. Like, I can't believe this isn't in every city. Right. Um but at the end of the day, that model would be hard to kind of translate, maybe because you honestly, the relationship piece is so big with you guys. Yeah, and it just transforms lives, which is again on this side of it, it's like such a cool thing to see. It's like, why aren't we a part of this? You know, like we can see these lives change, which is so cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So and that makes me so happy to hear because that's my intentions with this whole place is we're relational, we're not transactional. And that's with our donors, that's with our volunteers, that's with our residents that we will be relational in everything. It's we're not sitting having hard asks of like, okay, sign the dotted line here. Uh, we're just creating opportunities for people to invest. But even with our residents, if you look at what they've experienced, it's very transactional. And I'm not even talking about just their personal life decisions and all that stuff, which some of it can, but some of it is just when you're in institutions, when you're in recovery places, you are a number. That's it's sad to say, but it's you do this, get it done, and then this will happen. Do this, this will happen. And when we can kind of flip it a little bit and just say, we're here to help you and guide you, slow you down, help you with decision making, bounce ideas, um, but also create the guardrails for you. We just see a lot of success. And and one of the biggest, biggest things we hear is you're my family, you're you're my home. And I think that that's Says something that we're not just a shelter or whatever. We just don't have time to do that. We got other things, bigger things.

SPEAKER_02

And I think like you guys believe in the girls, you know. I think some of these girls, like maybe no one's ever believed in them, you know, that they could have a different life or you know, and of course, like the truth. You guys speak the truth, and the truth will set us free, right?

SPEAKER_00

Amen. We don't shy away from from the gospel or any of that. And I think of Ashley, and I think she'd be fine if I shared this, but I was in Minneapolis a couple weeks ago and get this text message, and it was from Ashley, and she goes, I love my job. Thank you so much for setting this up. I just got a raise, and I'm so happy. And then I was like proud dad moment of like so great when when they still are in contact and um they see us as that home and that family. And so those those wins, those things that you know we celebrate in our family, that we're folded into that, that we get to celebrate with them. So thank you guys so much for being on this podcast. Uh, if you want to catch other podcast uh episodes, make sure that you check them out on YouTube, Spotify, all the places that uh podcasts are on, I guess. And uh you can find all things pericenter at pericenter.org. Thanks.