Dredd - Illegal Go-Gurt

This week, the boys journey to pay their respects at the shrine of New Zealand's patron saint, Karl Urban, in his gritty dystopian action flick, Dredd. Included inside: slasher bars, crucial updates on how Sam's curry turned out, and so much glazing a donutsmith envies.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Craig in the mix.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Craig in the mix.

unknown 0:05

DJ Craig.

SPEAKER_04 0:06

Craig in the mix.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

I mean, do you think it's possible to be like an intimidating person with the name Craig? Without having like crazy props. Like if you have a chainsaw, that's pretty scary in most circumstances.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

But I actually feel like Craig is a more is a more menacing than most names. Like I think it's it's evocative of Crags, which are very forbidding pieces. And I might be alone in this, but my mind immediately goes to crab and like, you know, like ferocious little pinchers, aggressive, aggressive.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Crabs are kind of cute though.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

Well, some of them, yes. But like I'm thinking of like the the the pinchy ones.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Big mean crustration kind of yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

That's what I think of when I think of Craig. And also I think of like a really uh successful go-getting white dude.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

So sort of like a Patrick Bateman type.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Yeah, he owns a franchise.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he owns a Chili's franchise and he's hunting you.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Why does it have to be chilies?

SPEAKER_03 1:09

No, you're right, you're right. We get we we we gotta stop going back to I can't help it. I just I I find chilies, I find the concept of chilies to be like really funny. Like it's such a restaurant for like for like for for like for like suburban people who want to feel a a little edgy.

SPEAKER_02 1:31

Like Yeah, like an edgy community. Man, that's depressing. I was just thinking, like, is that the American equivalent of the local pub?

SPEAKER_03 1:38

A Chili's is is the restaurant equivalent of like a sitcom episode where they write a rap about how cool it is to do your chores.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

And like of it's sung, it's wrapped by it's like family rap. That's that's that's what chilies is. Alright, fuck, fuck. I'm sorry, let's get going. Alright. Do keep that in though, because that's great.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Oh yeah, I was just mentally brainstorming bars for like family-friendly rap. Now it's time to sweep the stairs, because you know we don't have enough pair.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

I don't know, like you know we ain't got no pair.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Cause dad got in trouble with a babysitter.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Mind the door beneath the stairs. Remember, remember the kid that we locked out there.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Your secret mother, because your mother is an open door.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Your secret mother, door out of your mother. Oh god. Oh claws and teeth. That's why that's why we feed him raw beef.

unknown 2:55

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

So Chuck, uh raw piece of meat down there, and don't you go around the stairs. Alright, shit. Okay, shit. This time, this time, this time. This time. Alright. If Law and Order featured Jerry Orbach randomly throat chopping people and collapsing their windpipe, would it still be Law and Order? More importantly, could you stop yourself from watching? Welcome to Slop Culture. Today we're talking about 2012's dread starring Carl Urban. Yes, welcome to Slop Culture, the happy hour podcast where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity. I am your host, Sam Sykes, and with me, as always, a man who has been prohibited from practicing law in the city of San Francisco after he declared at a public rally that bald men who wear turtleneck sweaters often look like uncircumcised or circumcised penises. It's Will Palmer, everybody.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Oh, and it's always about like being banned from practicing law in some place. I mean, I'm not even a member of the bar in California. I couldn't do it in any way. That exam is well, I haven't taken it, but I've heard the exam's really hard.

SPEAKER_03 4:06

But as you might have surmised, I do I how I picture the law working is just is very different. Like, because in my mind, you can just say something fucked up in San Francisco, and whether you're a lawyer or not, you can decide that's it. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Yeah, well, it turns out that the uh the anti-circumcision protesters, they were the ones who had a problem with what I'd said.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Like the guy who did like the Silent Hill guy who dude who are you familiar with this piece of internet?

SPEAKER_02 4:39

No, there was like a circumcision doctor in Silent Hill. I only played the second one.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

No, no. Um I might misrepere I I might have some facts mistaken as to the specifics, but there was a f a developer who allegedly worked on Silent Hill that just out of nowhere dropped this like incredibly passionate is the word I'll use, passionate rant about how awful circumcision was. And like, regardless of whether you agreed with it or not, it was just it was it it came out of nowhere, and you were very it was very surprising to see like someone sil a silent hill dev. I'm not saying like anything about a silent hill dev suggests they wouldn't be anti-circumcision. I was just saying I genuinely didn't expect it.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Have you ever heard of the comic uh four skinned man?

SPEAKER_03 5:29

I have. I actually read a a you read the screen. I read an issue, I read an issue. I read I read one issue.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

You should read. There's some pretty good arcs in here. The one where he goes to Africa and meets a Volva girl is fucking that's a I do remember that.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Where they both where they both unite against genital mutilation. My God.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yeah, I mean it's probably like the most anti-Semitic thing I've seen in like the comics medium. Um like, you know, like the the monstrous rabbi that's going around trying to collect foreskins. That one, like that wasn't good at all.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

I admit, like, I admit this next sentence I say will spin some heads, but that was the point where foreskin man started getting a little weird.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

It really was though. Before that, it was like, okay, this is like clearly like a parody, and then you get to that, it's like no.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

This is crazy. Oh, I'm sorry. Like you you alright, well, but the villain named Dr.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Mutilator was supposed to be taken seriously.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Well, I mean, I'm just saying, like, there have I'm sure Dr. Mutilator has appeared in some other comic, and like I would I immediately my head goes to like there being two Dr. Mutilators, and like one of them is like a guy who circumcises people, a villain, and the other one like is just a generic bad guy, and like he really hates being a no Dr.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

Mutilator is my father.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

No, no, it's like no no, I'm he's like, Yeah, it's me, Dr. Mutilator. Like, oh no, protect your foreskin. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's the that's the other guy. That's the other guy.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

I'm just trying to blow up the town.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

I'm just I'm just yeah, I'm just trying to mutilate people in general. Like, you know, that's why I got these buzzsaw hands here. Like that that's my that's my thing. I'm a mad doctor who gave myself buzzsaw hands.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Uh and they're like, oh, oh, well, why don't you change your name? Like, well, I had the name first. Yeah, I had the name first, guys. Like, and like he's holding up his buzzsaw hands like helplessly. He's like, I had the name first. Look, look, like which one of those things?

SPEAKER_02 7:39

Oh, you can use those to circumcise. Not well.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

Not well. This wouldn't be a circumcision. Like, have you seen the other Dr. Mutilator? He's just an anti-Semitic parody. Like, it's it's it's seriously offensive. It's seriously offensive, and nobody's doing anything about it, but everyone's got time to give me shit.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Is it the hands? It's the buzzsaw hands, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Is it the buzzsaw hands? Stop looking at my hands.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Like, I'm I'm sorry, but you just I guess if I filled these with sacks of foreskins, you wouldn't have a fucking problem with it, would you? I I hate this place who just turns and storms away.

SPEAKER_03 8:14

Like, like, I just gotta be I I've I've said this before, but I really do like the idea of superhero films, but like only in extremely mundane shit.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

Like an HOA dispute?

SPEAKER_03 8:30

Yeah, like like I would love a zoning dispute at the X Mansion at Xavier's at the Xavier School for Dis Gifted Pew Youths. Yeah. Where we're like we're like they're mobilizing in their blackbird jet to go confront some threat, and like they're like, it's all very serious. It's going like and like the tennis court moves out, and like the the tennis court.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

Geysers of steam going everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

And then suddenly, like, this this dude out of nowhere in like a Hawaiian shirt and wearing like Crocs comes out. He's like, hey, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing? They're like, I stop, stop, stop. And then like they open the cockpit, like Cyclops leans out, like, Whoa, he's like, I'm your neighbor, Bob Kesto.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

Head of the HOA with the complaints.

SPEAKER_03 9:19

I'm head of the HOA. You guys haven't been coming to our meetings. It's like, look, uh, there's a world-ending threat. We gotta go, like, what you're not going anywhere. What is this?

SPEAKER_02 9:28

What is this? There is paperwork to be filled out for this.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

This is this is our jet. Like, no! You can't have a jet!

SPEAKER_02 9:37

The X-Men have to stop saving people because the HOA just shuts them down.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

The X-Men have to get to their in like a tiny golf cart.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Yeah. And now I'm just thinking, like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

They just all fucking pile into it.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Takes only five minutes to get there.

SPEAKER_04 9:53

It's like a fucking clown car.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Yeah. I'm thinking of other like mundane expansion problems. Like, what if like uh Professor Xavier was looking at porn on Cerebro and he got like a virus?

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Can I pitch?

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Yeah, yeah, no, go for it.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

They can't use the Blackbird jets. So Wolverine gets there on a razor scooter.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

Oh, not a razor scooter!

SPEAKER_03 10:17

It's just like just hold on, bump.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Yeah, Cyclops shows up on Heelys. I had a dream that I was wearing Heelys the other day.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

Really? Alright, I I'm sorry, you've just said something kind of interesting. What uh what were you doing?

SPEAKER_02 10:30

I cannot remember the context, but it was a context in which Heelys were somewhat useful, so it must have been like on like a man-made surface. I wasn't like running away from anything, but I remember feeling like kind of uncool in my dream.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

So it's not really a nightmare, but like it wasn't a good dream. This is the shit I find funny, like a dream in which you wear heelys and slowly become aware how how weird they are.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

That's the kind of twisted shit that goes on in my subconscious.

SPEAKER_04 11:07

That's the fucking crazy shit that I think about.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Demented evil fucking concepts like dream heelys.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Welcome to my fucked up world. Alright, now I'm thinking of like a guy, uh, uh like a a one of those dudes who's so tall and skinny you actually can't tell whether he's 19 or 43.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

And like he's wearing a trench coat and he's on heelys.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Just cruising?

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Just cruising menacingly, and like everyone's afraid of him. He's like, he just like shows up at a coffee shop, like, give me coffee, black.

SPEAKER_04 11:59

Like, yeah, I'm not gonna pay for it. Like, just okay, take it, take it. Just I don't want to.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

You're about to be interrogated by the CIA, and then the interrogator comes in on Heelys.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

Agent Edgeworth.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Yeah, and Agent Edgeworth comes up to you and is like, fuck. Like, what would what would Agent Edgeworth try to like uh debrief you with?

SPEAKER_03 12:22

I I feel like he's got multiple pairs of sunglasses that he takes on and puts off. Like one of them, and he just keeps cruising for a reaction.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Yep, he's just constantly going back and forth on his heelys. He doesn't take a single step since he comes into the ship.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

Or like, or like he's in front of a whiteboard where the crime facts are all laid out, and he's just like hands behind his back looking at it, like cruising silently by on his heelys.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Alright, alright, alright, alright. I got I got one more thing to pitch to you.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

Like a cop show, but like about healy cops.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

It's like, yeah, we don't have the uh the budget for motorcycle cops on the other.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

So there used to be a there used to be a show called Pacific Blue. I I think it was called Pacific Blue. Uh and I believe it was about bike cops in Miami. And that's funny. Like, like just saying that right now, that sounds very funny. Like you would expect that to be like a Reno 911 thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Exactly. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

I was just like, it it was it was legitimately like trying to glamorize the life of a bike cop. Like they were they were very upstanding, pure, uh physically fit dudes in good spandex, and they were like having affairs all around the place and like and like doing bike crime in between.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Stopping stopping bike crime, I'm sorry, or stopping crime with bikes, like they're like writing a ticket for somebody, and then there's a high-speed chase that blasts by and they look at each other and switch gears.

SPEAKER_04 14:10

I guess it's time to go off the chain.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Shots of them switching gears on their bikes as they're the fucking robbers like like go down a hill, like, oh you idiot, don't go downhill! The bike cop appears at the top, holds his arms out to the side, like wee.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Yeah, he like lowers his head. He's got one of those fucking like racing helmets.

SPEAKER_03 14:35

He's got fucking like wind gear helmets.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

They're juicing up so they can like pedal better.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

They're juicing up. He turns on the NOS.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Yeah. That would be insane if you had a NOS. A tank of NOS just mounted to the side of your bike.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

It doesn't do anything. It just sprays gas.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Or like it's not there's nothing in it. He just attached it there. He just attached it there to look cool.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

Hey, he's got a spoiler on the back of his bike.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Sometimes he puts a baseball card in the spokes to make it sound like a motorcycle. Oh my god. I I swear I wanted to banter about something, but honestly, Yeah, what do you got for the the banter this week?

SPEAKER_02 15:28

What have you been up to? What's uh has life been like?

SPEAKER_03 15:32

Well, you did this to you once. Uh uh, but unfortunately we we we couldn't use the recording when I told you about it, but um uh I just wanted to tell you I picked up another another shift at uh there's I'm s I I mentioned this uh before, but we couldn't use it. Uh uh I there's actually a bar near my place that uh caters exclusively to uh slashers.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Oh, okay, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

You know, you know, entities, antagonists of of all walks of life who generally you know make their living slashing people, like chasing chasing them through manors, like hunting them through graveyards and just whacking them with and you know, like don't don't let the name mislead you. Some of them some of them slash, some of them also bludgeon. I'm they're very diverse people, is what I'm trying to say. And I uh sometimes I will pick up a shift at uh at this bar.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

And uh yeah, I was just I was just saying, um there's a fellow that comes in, uh he's he's sort of he's sort of like Jason Voris, except you know, legally distinct.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

So what does he not have like a hockey mask? It's like a different it's like a lacrosse mask.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. It's a lacrosse mask, and uh I thought, and instead of like a big dirty coat, he wears one of those western fringe coats with like the you know the cowboy what the cowboys wear with like the fringe sleeves and like the little dangly tassels. Right. I I gotta say he looked sharp. He looked sharp.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

How did he drink it too with the mask? Straw, probably.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Straw, yes, yes. Um not all of them take off their masks. For some of them, it's uh it's a very important part of their identity.

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Yeah, because they're all like fucked up in groups.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, some of some of them are just like average working Joes, you know, like they just come in and they're like, just take off their masks, like, oh, I've been wearing that all day. They'll say like, give me a beer. Like, yeah, yeah, sure, man. Yeah. Yeah. This guy, uh, he really liked tequila because, you know, with the Western thing, his whole thing was that he was like a uh a college frat boy who died in a hazing incident and came back to life uh and and to to execute the frat members who uh hazed him so bad.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

Lethal hazed him, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

Lethally hazed him. And like he did that. He did that. And it it's it's kind of sad because for a lot of uh these guys, that's their thing, you know, and then once they've a lot of them have been wronged in the past, and they sure once once they avenge themselves, they end up like uh searching for purpose.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Right kind of a loose ends there.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Kind of a loose ends. This guy's been doing really well for himself, though. Like uh he's getting out there, he's trying to find new targets, and you know, like these guys, they're such they're such good people that they always try to find something thematic, you know? Like they're not just gonna go out there and start slashing people at randomly.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Yeah, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

There's gotta be an intrusion, there's gotta be an offense, there's gotta be something to avenge there.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

But he's going out and you know, like he's just trying to figure out what he's all about. And apparently the the people he's trying to slash, they aren't running from him. Oh they're saying like some shit like they're calling him daddy, and I think it's because of the coat.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

It's a sex thing, sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

That's yeah, and like it and that's that is a problem. That is a problem.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Um someone who's exclusively into murder, it's a big problem.

SPEAKER_03 19:29

That's an enormous problem because like he's he's very he's very anti-sex. Uh that's part of his thing, is because uh wow because how he died while being hazed is that there were lifeguards on duty, but they were fucking.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

And uh we don't really that's just Jason Voorhees, though, right?

SPEAKER_03 19:48

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. See, this is see it it's it's it see because if they were lifeguards on duty, but they were fucking, but they knew he was there. So it wasn't they it wasn't like Jason Voorhees where they didn't know he was there because they were being irresponsible. It was worse.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

They were they were they were using it in their play, let's say that deliberate indifference to the welfare of another.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

Oh, worse than that. It was part of the arousal. It was part of the arousal. It was part of the air. No, he was he was he was not a child. He was not a child at that time.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Oh, he's just an adult.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

Remember, he's a he's the frat boy.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

What was the hazing that he had to do?

SPEAKER_03 20:28

It was it was actually like pretty aggressive. He's he's opened up to me a little about it. I don't think he would mind if I shared it.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Uh that's good of him.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

Uh it was really it it started out like pretty demeaning, like oh, strip naked and run through the quad. And then but you know, like just normal shit like that. Or like yeah, or or just like you know, uh or or do do a body shot off uh uh off a a magistrate. It's like a magistrate, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He he went to a very specific school where that was kind of a thing. That was kind of a thing. Uh but it just got like increasingly weirder. Like they would haze him, be like, play settlers of Catan with us for 12 hours. And like he's like, okay, but like after an hour, it got so boring. And then they're like, next part of your hazing is you have to play cards against humanity with us, and like, oh god, no. No, because you're just gonna go for the the most shocking, edgy card. You're just gonna be like, oh, you know, the oh, here's the here's the big cocks card, here's the big floppy cox card. Like, no, no, as part of your hazing, you have to play, and you have to agree that those cards are really funny, and like, ah damn it. So, like, you can see how this kind of wore down at his soul a little.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Not really, it just sounds like a huge pussy.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

You know what? You know what? I'm glad you said that because he's gonna listen and he's gonna be like, Well, now now I have something to avenge myself.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

Oh no, oh no, legally. Distinct Jason Voorhees. Please don't come to my apartment and kill me.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

I'm sorry, Lee. It's out of legally distinct Jason Voorhees' hands. Fuck.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

I mean, look, not being able to swim, that's badass, dude. That's cool. Look, I'm trying to dig the out of this floor right here. I need to find things to compliment him on.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

Alright, kids, today we're gonna learn how to swim. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Yeah. Fuck you and your swimming pool.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

I won't conform to your fascist.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

He's like five.

SPEAKER_03 22:35

He's already smoking a cigarette. He's like running a finger through his hair and be like, that's the problem with this country. It's everything fixed. We all expect us to know the same shit.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Yeah, he goes around and finds the nerdiest kid and like pops his floaties with a cigarette.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Popsy's fucking George Carlin.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Hey, that's a fun job. I mean, good on you for you know letting those guys open up to you and everything.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

Well, well, well, just two things. I don't want to go deep into it. I'm just gonna put it out there. Someone please make a little Carlin animated show. About George Carlin as a baby. Or as like a as like a toddler. As a toddler, like like a rugrats, but George Carlin. And he's just like he's just like the fascists in power. Don't want you to know this.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Moves in down the street from the rugrats, like the pickles family.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

The pickles family are just um I I don't know. I don't I don't think I want to play with Georgie.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Yeah, I don't know if Tommy should be hanging out with little George.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

He's picking up smoking, he's pacing back and forth and saying shit like like crypto fascism.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

I don't even know what that is.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

Alright, I'm I'm gonna drop that where it lay. That's too funny. We're just gonna hope we're just gonna bury it here and water it and hope that it grows into something. But yeah, I'm but I was gonna say is like the bad news is that because you have said that, he will fixate on you. Uh so you don't really get to take it back. The good news is that there is a way out. Uh it just requires a little bit of effort. You've got to become a slasher yourself. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

So like you've you've got to do that.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

You've got to have I well, I'm sorry. Do you want to get it's a slasher be slashed world, buddy.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

That's what you'd like to do.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

I guess you could. I guess you could. Um in that well, and in that case, in that case, here's a here's a much here's a much tougher question. Choose four other people to be in your group with the knowledge that you will be the only one left alive.

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Oh, okay. Like Hitler, Pol Pot, Saddam.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

No, no, no, no, no, you you you dick wife. It's gotta be a dick. It's gotta be people you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

And it's gotta be an eclectic mix.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

And like I they're for sure gonna die, though. Like, I'm I have to live no matter what.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Will's friends, you are for sure gonna die.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Alright. Um, Francisco for sure, then he'd be good at like holding a door. He's like super strong and big.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Um perfect, perfect. And he's probably gonna go out like a G, like yeah, like getting getting whacked while he's holding a door.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Uh my friend Johnny probably would like be the one to ultimately take the bad guy out in like a self-sacrificial thing. He like tackles him into a giant incinerator or something.

SPEAKER_03 25:38

Oh, that's nice. That's nice. I I let me just say, I do appreciate that you're like thinking of good ways for them to go.

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Yeah, I don't just want him to get like an anvil dropped on him.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

You're getting fucking stalked and murdered by Wily Coyote. It's just all these fucking acme traps around. I guess when you think about it, Saw is basically what the coyote would have done to you.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

If the coyote ever got terminal cancer, like that's what he would have gotten up to.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Alright, we're gonna we're gonna bury that, we're gonna water that, we're gonna hope that turns into some. But you got you got two more. I'm just pointing out, you have no you have you have no women in your group so far.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

Yeah, yeah, but we're getting murdered, right? Like, I guess if I am if I gotta include it.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

That is that is nice of you. That is nice of you. I like if I were your friend and you declined to put me in the group because it would result in me getting whacked, yeah. I'd I I would appreciate that. So go ahead. I'm sorry, I should not have interfered with the process.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Plus, like you got two. Some of my like female best friends, they're all they're all like really good at running.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:47

So they would like so it doesn't make sense logistically for them to be involved because they would be able to. Exactly. And so if we're sticking with that as the limitation, then fair point, fair point, fair point.

SPEAKER_03 27:01

Okay, so do you do you have two more names?

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Oh, I mean, sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

I will let you, I I'll I'll say this. I will let you choose one dictator, one historical dictator to be a part of your group. Oh, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

Uh Francisco Franco.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

You've okay, Francisco Franco.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

Different Francisco. We're gonna have two Francisco's. One of them's good, one of them's bad.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Hey, Frankie.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Yeah, yeah, Frank. Yeah, Franco can be Frankie.

SPEAKER_03 27:27

You're still talking about fascism?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

And he gets an anvil dropped on his head.

SPEAKER_03 27:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Uh my friend Jake, because I can see him like also like doing something to buy us time, like shutting the door behind us, and we look through the glass and we're like, no. And then he makes like a and he makes like a cool quip and does something badass, but then gets murdered.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

He does like he does like some obscure hand gesture that's part of your in-group that you've been doing all this time, so it's like his final, his final farewell.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

That owns, man.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

And he would have like the best one line or two, probably. He'd like drops some sick insults.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

I want to I want to end the banter here because I feel that was really sweet, what you just did. Like you were very inclusive and you you found something for everything everyone to do, including Francisco Franco.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

R.I.P. King. R.I.P. King.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Rest in peace, Francisco Franco.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

Yeah, pro one out for Francisco Franco.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

See you at the crossroads.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Dude, I'm really gonna have to look up what all he did because like the real fine line with him.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

Well, he inspired Pan's Labyrinth. Pan's Labyrinth, which is an excellent so when you think about it, I mean the bloody civil war might have been worth it.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Pan's Labyrinth was really good.

SPEAKER_03 28:47

Pan's Labyrinth was fun. Alright, how about this? We'll we'll compromise. If the Civil War had to happen, at least we got Pan's Labyrinth out of it.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Silver linings.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

I would rather do that than Alright, you know what? I'm just gonna stop it there. Do you want to talk about Dread?

SPEAKER_02 29:04

I would love to talk about Dread.

SPEAKER_03 29:06

I would love Dread. I would love, because I recommended this, I would love for you to summarize the movie within two minutes, as is tradition here.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

As is tradition. Hit me with the uh timer when you're all right.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

I am about to hit you with a timer and go.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Mega City 1 20 or 21, so it's sometime in the future, and it's really gritty. The law is enforced by the Hall of Justice, who sends out judges to be judge and jury and executioner, but it's faster to just call them judges. The coolest judge is Dred, and he's working with Anderson, who's a trainee in the Judge program, but she's also psychic. So she's on her like final test, um, which is like a like a field training test, and she goes out with Dredd, and they're uh they take a call at a giant apartment complex called Peach Trees, which is like a big skyscraper with like a giant hole in the middle. And um they go into Peach Trees, but they end up capturing like one of the right-hand men of Mama, played by Lena Hetty, who's in charge of uh producing a drug called Slow-Mo, which does what you think it does. And um, because the judges are about to leave with their henchmen, Mama's like, fuck, they're gonna interrogate my henchmen and find out about my shit. And so she drops all the shutters and closes all the doors and locks the judges in. Then she does a raid thing and is like, hey, kill the judges, and you can have drugs and shit for free. So they have to fight their way through most of the apartment block trying to get to the upstairs where Mama is. And at one point she calls in a squad of corrupt judges, and they have to fight the judges, and they end up defeating the judges, and then getting to Mama's lair in the top floor, and then Mama's like, wait, I have an explosive everywhere in this building that will blow up if this tracker on my wrist goes off. And Dredd is like, what if I throw you literally 200 stories and you explode on the ground like a grapefruit? And she's like, I don't, and then he throws her out the window, and she falls 200 stories and explodes like a grapefruit, and the explosives don't go off. And then Judge Dredd approves uh Anderson uh to pass the test, even though she technically failed it because she showed a lot of hotspot. How much time do I have?

SPEAKER_03 31:08

You you're you're under time. You still have 10 seconds if you want.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Yeah, no, it's a pretty good movie. I mean, uh a lot of great action escalating stakes. We'll talk about it, but wow, what a heater of a movie.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

Alright. I'm just I clearly you're trying to move on from what you did there.

SPEAKER_04 31:27

I don't know why I didn't. I don't know. Judge Trit later on. Later after this podcast is done, I'm gonna go out for chicken coral.

unknown 31:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

And then I'm gonna get naw. I loved it. I loved it.

SPEAKER_04 31:44

I might even speak for a samosa.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

I was trying to think of like what uh it would sound like if I was doing this recap in Mega City One.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

Yeah, no, no, like I I I appreciated that. What I always appreciate about you is that you'll you'll try to make it fit thematically in your in your recap. Uh speaking of Indian food, let me just turn my stove off real quick.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

Oh, yeah, no, go for it. I'll entertain the audience.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

Yeah, yeah, be right back.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Yeah, so um Sam has been um experimenting with uh cooking various different uh foreign foods recently. Um it's gonna end disastrously. He's good at cooking, but like I just know like this is gonna end in flames and tears. Um naturally I've been encouraging him. So right now he's doing uh some sort of curry that's that's going to just absolutely destroy his gastrointestinal system. Um when I say it like that, it makes me sound kind of like a bad guy, but um Yeah, I don't really have an excuse. I guess we're just gonna see what happens uh with this curry, but I am gonna tell him to make it spicier. Yeah, how spicy is the curry? You should throw some fucking peppers or something in there.

SPEAKER_03 32:54

I I honestly this is something I've been trying to do for a while, and uh I'm new to it. Um I have marinated the chicken with onions and yogurt. Okay. Uh I have been I've been trying to figure out how to make a curry paste for a while. Because in my opinion, pastes uh and liquids do so much better than uh like dry seasonings alone.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Oh, that makes sense. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Like uh, you know, for my chili, I'll rehydrate uh dried chili peppers and run them through a blender, make a nice chili paste rather than use chili powder, that sort of thing. Uh I'd never figured out out how to do that for uh curry up until I found out that in India they often marinate their meat with yogurt. So I put all my seasonings into a bunch of yogurt and made a thick paste out of it, and I rubbed everything down real good and marinated for I think two hours. And it's been simmering for about three hours. So I'm I'll let you know how it was.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

But uh I was just imagining when you said yogurt, I was imagining you just like squirting like eight fucking tubes of go-urt into a tub. Milking them into a fucking tub.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

Because I'm like, oh no, but all I did is gourt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

Using go-gurt as a culinary ingredient would be an insane move.

SPEAKER_03 34:32

What if I went skateboarding and got hit by a car? And while I was in the hospital, they hooked up an IV sack to me, but it was close as go-gurt, and the nurse had to like pinch it down like a cogurt. Did it roll up the IV bag as it got to the cogurt was the fucking greatest thing in the world? We gotta make yogurt appeal to dudes.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Let's change one syllable and make it extreme.

SPEAKER_03 35:04

It worked, it worked. It's like dudes see yogurt, like dudes see yogurt, and they're like, uh, whatever. What if we called it go-urt? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Bro, imagine like how they could try to rebrand it these. It's like Gogurt Extreme.

SPEAKER_03 35:19

Gogurt Extreme.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

But it's like extreme, right?

SPEAKER_03 35:23

Well, now, like to appeal to young men, people are using like gambling sites. So how can we how can we incorporate Gogurt jackpot scratch offs?

SPEAKER_02 35:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:36

Drain a tube of Gogurt, and if you get three of the same.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

You get a skin in Fortnite. Well, actually, I guess Fortnite has been declining a little bit recently. So we'd want to find something. Maybe Roblox money. I guess kids like Roblox is big.

SPEAKER_04 35:48

You get Roblox money.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Roblox, I think is what it's called. So Robux. Yeah, no, this is probably not legal. Um, but I mean that would sell like hotcakes, bro. If you had scratchers on the fucking go-tur tubes, and if you like got like a certain like three in a row or whatever, you got like Roblox money or Roblox money.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

I like how every every business idea is just basically coming to the inevitable inclusion that we should just do crime. You know what would be really great, what would sell a lot of go-kurt is if we sold meth.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

I mean, it would probably make a lot of money.

SPEAKER_03 36:24

That's what that's a new that's that's the sanitized remake of breaking bad is the illegal go-urt. Yo, Mr. White, this is a brand new flavor, dog.

SPEAKER_04 36:37

Jesse, we need to tube.

SPEAKER_02 36:39

We gotta tube up all this gourt.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

No, no, the the milk needs to be aged.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

The cartel calls them as like Mr. White. We've heard a lot about your go-urt capacity.

SPEAKER_03 36:51

Mr. White.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

99.5%.

SPEAKER_03 36:55

I'm told your product is excellent.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

It's got like a huge like blue go-gurt mustache.

SPEAKER_03 37:03

Like drink. Like, empties it into a wine glass and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

He like holds out an empty hand and then Mike draws out, like, gives him a tattoo of go-kurt.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

It's like the fucking scene in breaking pad where he they assassinate the cartel.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

It's poisoned go-kurt.

SPEAKER_03 37:25

Poisoned go-kurt.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Like where Walt is talking to Tuco and is like, this isn't Go-kurt, and then he throws it on the ground and it explodes.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Tuco slamming a go-kurt.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

He's snorting Go-Kurt off his desk.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Literally the entire show is the same except that shouldn't be funny.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

I mean, it's it's very funny.

SPEAKER_03 38:03

I ask you for the second time, do you want to talk about dread?

SPEAKER_02 38:06

Yeah, I would, I would.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

So yes. This movie is awesome. I remember it was 2012. Uh we had just elected Obama a second time.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Right.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

We said it keep up those drones. I'm not gonna get political, I was gonna say keep those more drone strikes. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

So actually what we needed was a law and order movie.

SPEAKER_03 38:32

A law and order movie. Uh yeah, some cutting political commentary. So under O'Bubber, we made a law and order movie. It was Carl Urban's.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

Like New Zealand, known for their judge, jury, and executioner style policing. Much like Mega City One.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

Well, um, no, Mel Gibson is Australian, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:59

I was gonna say Mad Max was close to New Zealand, so yeah, that's true. So I I was just I was just saying that that area of the world, you just you get a fascination with a future where a lot of people wear leather.

SPEAKER_02 39:14

Yeah, that's true. And yeah, yeah, very, very true.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

But only in one of them do you get do you get just like assless chaps. No, all chaps are assless. I'm sorry, but uh you know, you know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it implies that you're not wearing pants under them.

SPEAKER_03 39:30

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect, perfect. So like paintless chaps.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Yeah. Uh no, this is. We'll get to Carl Urban specifically. This movie in general.

SPEAKER_03 39:42

I want to, I would, I want you to fucking tell me what you loved about this movie.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

I wouldn't say everything, but like almost every it's just such a incredible, like it's like taking a shot of like just a great action movie.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

Say what you said about 10 out of 10 versus 5 out of 5.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

I would give it a I wouldn't give it a 10 out of 10, like a on a like a 1 to 10 rating scale, but I would give it a 5 out of 5, if that makes sense. Like it would my quibbles are so minor, but they're not worth like not giving it a 5 out of 5. They would keep it from a 10 out of 10, but that means it's like a 9.75.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

I'm so when you said that when you said that, I took that to mean that like within a compact criteria, dread does all of what it intends to do perfectly.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

And I I thought I agreed with you very much on that because this is a this is a tight little movie.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

It really is. An hour and thirty-five minutes, I think.

SPEAKER_03 40:37

Hour and thirty-five minutes, but such an efficient use of time. Uh and like I seriously, like, one thing I do enjoy about this podcast is that we talk about movies like they were sports, and this is one of those times, because every like this was a sci-fi dystopia with its own sets of rules, and that can be a hazard. That can be a hazard. Like you can trip into you can trip into exposition right miers, like it can get overwhelming pretty quick. But this movie, the just every time it introduces a fact about the world, that fact comes into play almost immediately.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

Right.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

And it's perfect. It's perfect, like it uses so much with its uh it does so much with its time. Uh, and I I loved that about it. I'll talk we'll talk more about that later because I do think uh mechanically this movie has a lot to be praised about, but right now we're we're still glazing, but please go on.

SPEAKER_02 41:40

I think that not only is it you know efficient with its time, it takes itself seriously. Like, yeah, there are silly aspects, but it doesn't like wink at the audience. Like it knows it's silly, but it doesn't. Maybe it doesn't know it's silly. It's executing that concept, and you can laugh at it and enjoy it, but the movie's not gonna like pause and just be like, isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_03 41:57

No, no, it's no, it is it is it is it is a bygone art what this movie does of taking its one-liners totally fucking seriously, Schwarzenegger style, commando style.

SPEAKER_00 42:10

Right.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

Fucking um uh we just gotta talk about it. There's a part in Dread where he realizes the corrupt judges, he just twigs that the judges who have been sent to back him up are corrupt.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

Yep, and they've been taking money from Mama to kill.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

They've been taking money from Mama and they're about to kill him, and they get into a fight, him and a corrupt judge, and he fucking like he he gets he's getting strangled, and the corrupt judge get says, choke on it, Dred, and then Dred shoves on shoves him off, and then Judo chops his fucking neck, collapses his windpipe, the guy, you see his his neck.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

His alarm's pull indent into like through his fucking windpipe.

SPEAKER_03 42:54

It's horrifying. And frankly, there's a lot of horrifying gore here, like it takes itself very seriously, but uh it is brutal, dude. And then he collapses the ground and dread goes, choke on that.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

Which is like not a very good one-liner, but at the same time, like No, no, if I was about to get choked, and I like to think in an ideal world, if I was confronting a rival, like corrupt judge, and he was choking on me, and then I judo chopped him in the neck, and then you know, had I would probably make a one-liner, and it also probably wouldn't be that clever.

SPEAKER_03 43:29

Yeah, like you're running on adrenaline. Plus, like, let's be real, if you're the guy that did the neck chopping, whatever one-liner you said is funny.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

Like, if I'll put it sick, it works so well.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

Like, I'll put it this way if I'm like hanging outside a bar and I see one dude neck chop another dude and kill him, I will I will agree to whatever the neck chopping dude says is funny. Like, I will laugh at that fucker's joke and then I will fucking get far away as I can.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Yeah. Um but yeah. It takes itself seriously. It has great fucking gore and violence in general. Like, you know how I love my impactful scenes? This uh action scenes, this had impactful action scenes. Walls getting fucking shredded. Oh, people getting fucking shredded. People blowing up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

People like a slow a slow-mo of fucking Lena Hetty exploding like a grapefruit.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:29

On the fucking floor from like like the floor's perspective. This the floor's perspective. The same fucking trick they did in Breaking Bad when Jesse made eggs. Like, except Lena Lena's head is the fucking eggs. And my god, like like we're gonna talk specifically about Carl Urban, but you know, you know I gotta we've gotta stop and talk about the goat. The fucking goat, Lena Hetty. She plays Mama, the ruthless uh the ruthless leader of the Mama clan who fucking owns an int the Peach Trees Mega Block, which is and like I want to give a quick shout-out for this. Like most the vast majority of this movie takes place within the mega block, but when you see them outside, they're these enormous monuments looming over the fucking city scale.

SPEAKER_02 45:22

Mega definitely emphasize the Mega aspect of it.

SPEAKER_03 45:28

Yeah, and it has it has like ill it all has Eldritch vibes, I wanted to say. It's like it's got uh just a little bit of cosmic horror there, I think.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

Yeah, or you know, like you know what I'm saying, like that's so fucking massive, yeah, it's unsettlingly massive.

SPEAKER_03 45:41

Yeah, it's impossibly huge, is what it is. Uh Lena Hetty plays this really compelling character who uh she's a former prostitute who bit her pimp's junk off after he cut her, and then she immediately goes rogue, takes his all his businesses and starts expanding rapidly. And I want to say this for Lena Hetty She might be one of the most effective uh women villain actors we have. Like fucking regardless of how of how Game of Thrones ended, R.I.P. King, R.I.P. first seven seasons R.I.P. well seventh season was not that bad.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

Six seasons, I'd say.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

RIP sixth season Game of Thrones. Uh you played the hell of a game. I am uh I gotta say, I'm still not at the point where I can move past the eighth season yet. It's gonna take some time.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

The seventh season was already bad. The eighth season was like, God damn it.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

But I'm at the point where I can at least I can I can't I can separate the first couple of seasons from it because they're like, you know what? You you did play a hell of a game.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

Yeah, you did play a hell of a game.

SPEAKER_03 46:58

Um but uh Cersei, like what I was saying is like, regardless of how Game of Thrones ended, Lena Hetty's portrayal of Cersei, fucking amazing. Chilling, like chilling in every way, just complete sheer ruthlessness. An absolute legend. Like who could frickin' forget I choose violence?

SPEAKER_02 47:21

So cool.

SPEAKER_03 47:22

Like, that is a scene where fucking Gregor Clagane is a fucking zombie who is like an eight-foot-tall zombie rapist that's like bodyguarding her, and there's a bunch of and and somehow that's not the scariest thing in the in the room.

SPEAKER_02 47:35

Yeah, the scariest thing is like her cousin who she fucked and who has become like a crazy religious zealot, and he's with a bunch of other crazy religious zealots.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

You know what? You know what? That just goes to show. Don't fuck your cousin. Don't fuck don't fuck your cousin. Don't fuck your brother. Don't have kids with your brother.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Yeah, just avoid that. And also just like don't be a murderer. There's a lot of most of what Cersei does.

SPEAKER_03 47:57

Yeah, like like I know I know a lot of people out there like the morality very clear in their in their media these days. And I think Game of Thrones was just one big message about hey, just just don't fuck your brother.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Honestly, a lot of problems did come from that.

SPEAKER_03 48:12

A lot of problems happened because a brother and a sister fucked, but I bet you Tywin was just like, I should not have had hot children.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

My god, like yeah, but he was mad about the one that wasn't hot too. He just shouldn't have had kids.

SPEAKER_03 48:25

No, like Tywin would have been so fucking happy if he had just like stayed single.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

Yeah, as it's like an older bachelor kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

We could have had we could have had a really fucking cool like slice of slice strong. Yeah, yeah, Tywin Lannister looking for love. Yeah, but it's like Seinfeld, and there's something wrong with every woman he's getting.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:50

So he's he's he's Seinfeld. Um Ned is George. Robert Baratheon is Kramer.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Sure. And then um Varys is fucking uh Varus is illane! Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

But back to uh back to the back to Drift.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

I was gonna great in this movie. Lena Hetty's um she's not the the performance I want to talk about the most. One day we will get to a movie where we can just talk about Lena Hetty all day, but she did fucking wonderful. She was a fucking stone-cold psychopath in this movie, like ruthlessly practical, and I fucking love her. Cold-blooded, she was great. Uh Olivia Thurlby played Anderson, the rookie judge who goes on this assignment, and she's psychic. She grew up near the irradiated zone. Uh and she does great. Like all the performances are fucking great. And can we acknowledge with with I say acknowledging without intending this to sound demeaning at all or belittling, that's not what's going on. She's adorable. She looks so fucking cute, even as she's like shooting people in the head. You know?

SPEAKER_02 50:24

Yeah. I mean, I I thought she was more just like hot.

SPEAKER_03 50:28

Yeah, yeah. Well, but I I thought she was specifically adorable.

SPEAKER_02 50:31

Like she was adorable. The violence made you think like adorable. She was like, she killed a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

Well, I think what it is is she she's very clean. Like everyone else is very grody.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Grody, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

Very grody, but she looks like she showered recently.

SPEAKER_02 50:44

Yeah, and she yeah, and we get to see her face instead of.

SPEAKER_03 50:47

No, we get to see her face, and her she's got this bright blonde hair that stands out amongst all the darkness. Like all the all the low lights and shit. Yeah. Uh yeah, like I I thought very cute. Very and I yeah, I'm sorry. Like, maybe it's because I have been playing a lot of Resident Evil 9 lately.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

I was gonna say, yeah, that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_03 51:07

But there but there is there is something about like short, bookish women with enormous guns shooting people to death that's like like oh, like I was gonna say, if you have to die, if you have to die by being shot to death, okay. At least did you ever see in Colombia there was a uh a uh hit woman called La Muñeca, yes doll?

SPEAKER_02 51:30

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 51:31

And like she's actually quite attractive.

SPEAKER_02 51:33

Sure.

unknown 51:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:34

So I'm just saying, I'm just saying, it happens. It happens.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

Yeah, like if I was gonna get murdered, like probably having a hot chick do it would be yeah, pretty cool, I guess. Right?

SPEAKER_03 51:45

You know, just just being real, just being real, like Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

Well, would you rather have a hot chick or Denzel?

SPEAKER_03 51:51

I don't want to be killed by Denzel. I'm just gonna put out the.

SPEAKER_02 51:55

He's not gonna be creative about it. He's just gonna like light you up.

SPEAKER_03 51:58

No, I mean he will be he will be creative about it. Like, that's the thing. I watched the equalizer.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

Like he's playing a character just very well.

SPEAKER_03 52:09

I I don't know. I don't know. If it turned out that like Denzel's secret rich guy thing was that like he hunted men.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

Yeah, and then monologue.

SPEAKER_03 52:20

I would not I I'm just saying I'd believe it. Yeah, monologue, like that's how he really captures the performance.

SPEAKER_02 52:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

And then he asks them for notes as they lay bleeding a lot of their nickname. To be honest, I felt a little labored. See, I thought that.

SPEAKER_02 52:35

I thought it was I thought so. I should should I pause more?

SPEAKER_04 52:38

No, no, pause less. No, no, pause less, pause less. Have confidence. You're you're a legend.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

Like even his victims can't help but fucking gas him up a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 52:53

All right, uh, you talked me into it. I do want to be killed by Denzel. Yeah. This was awesome. But uh let's let's spare a moment to glaze the aesthetics, right?

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Like yeah, the mega block on the outside is impressive, like in its size, but then you get inside and it's almost better, like just with the griminess and the consistency of visual language.

SPEAKER_03 53:12

It's just this Titanic living structure where there's just everything going on. Uh and like, you know, can we can we be real? Uh fucking this uh this this movie wears its inspiration on its sleeve.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

Yeah, it's not trying to hide it.

SPEAKER_03 53:30

It's inspired by the raid. Yeah, and to be honest, there's a lot of worse places you could take inspiration from. I still think I still think the action in the raid is a little better. Just based I mean I'm gonna divert a little and I'm gonna ask you for this, your opinion on this. Is close quarters combat inherently cooler?

SPEAKER_02 53:53

Not inherently, but it really helps.

SPEAKER_03 53:55

It's easier to achieve that coolness.

SPEAKER_02 53:58

You get more focus on like uh choreography and like quick developments of what's going on. Longer range stuff is much more usually slower paced, not a lot of movement.

SPEAKER_03 54:08

Like Enemy at the Gates was all about snipers, and that was a great movie, but it also did not have. Yeah, yeah. That was good.

SPEAKER_02 54:19

It's a good scene, but like, you know, it's much more it's like a tense scene instead of like thrilling and like pulse pounding, right? And they definitely have more thrilling and pulse pounding in both this and the raid.

SPEAKER_03 54:30

Yeah, I was thinking that like, you know, one of the reasons John Wick stood out so much is that they kind of turned guns into close quarters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Yeah, there's only like one scene of him with a sniper rifle.

SPEAKER_03 54:43

Yeah. But uh I I will talk about the raid one day because that's a fucking classic. Uh but this movie pays brilliant homage to it. It it very clearly echoes it, but it works so fucking well, and it has sci-fi coolness, like fucking gas grenades and shit. Like multiple types. Let's pause a second to talk about his gun.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Oh, dude, the gun is so goddamn. The Lawbringer, I think, is what it's called in the comics. Judge Dredd, and indeed all judges have guns where they name their ammo types and then the well the j not only that, the gun has like an ID thing that like um only like a judge or only the judge is assigned to, I forget which, but only like somebody authorized can like use the gun, and otherwise it just blows up. Yeah. But um, the guns all have, yeah, they got the specific grenade types or uh ammo types that they can switch between.

SPEAKER_03 55:40

And uh I appreciate lead sci-fi, you know, okay as opposed to laser sci-fi. Yeah, Star Wars is laser sci-fi. Uh Star Trek, laser sci-fi, warhammer, lead sci-fi. Well, Warhammer's a bit of both.

SPEAKER_02 55:57

They do they have some laser guns, but the laser guns are like horrifying.

SPEAKER_03 56:00

Yeah, yeah. Like whenever someone thinks about Warhammer guns, like what comes to mind is the heavy bolter, right? Like that's the that's the classic one.

SPEAKER_02 56:07

Shooting like 75 caliber exploding rocket bullets.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sort of thing. Uh fucking yeah, that's lead gears of war, lead sci-fi. Uh, but you get what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 56:18

Like Dread, very much lead sci-fi.

SPEAKER_03 56:20

Dread is all lead sci-fi. It's all lead grenades and fucking chemical burns, and it's fucking rules.

SPEAKER_02 56:26

And I just adored the different ammo types. I think he used all of them too. He had the incendiaries. Some of the I guess the incendiary one is different from the hot shot one. The incendiary one is like a what's up?

SPEAKER_03 56:36

Yeah, yeah. The hotshot is like a super concentrated uh guy in the mouth with it, like melts through the back of his head. Can we talk about the gore? Can we talk about the dead?

SPEAKER_02 56:47

Oh, yeah. Dude, I I love the gore in this movie. You see heads exploding, you see people getting skinned alive, like it's bisections, explosions of people explode in all sorts of different ways at different velocities.

SPEAKER_03 56:59

It does not fucking flinch. It's not like like I want to say this like the whole subplot of this movie revolves around the production of the drug slow-mo, which just makes time move slower to whoever takes it. Yeah. Uh, and at the start, there are these rival dealers that Mama has skinned alive, and then she shoves them to the edge of the balcony. And keep in mind, they're like, what, one kilometer above ground?

SPEAKER_02 57:26

Yeah, I mean, whatever like 200 levels is.

SPEAKER_03 57:28

Yeah, 200 levels, just an absurdly high level. And she forces these guys to take a hit of slow-mo before she shoves.

SPEAKER_02 57:36

After they've been skinned, which like actually after they've been skinned.

SPEAKER_03 57:39

So just like imagine it falling to your death and it taking fucking hours. Yeah. On the other hand, like people who take slow-mo seem to like really enjoy it. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Maybe you're just I didn't really get the attraction of it. Like, everyone's life sucks. Why do you want to spend more time in it? Right?

SPEAKER_03 57:57

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe it's just maybe they just like making like fucking maybe they all really love doing matrix moves.

SPEAKER_02 58:05

I was gonna say, like, I could see it being fun if I was like with my friends, we were getting drunk and trying to do cool like wire foo moves.

SPEAKER_03 58:12

It just called slow-mo they're calling it the blue pill. One hit and it makes you do Neo moves.

SPEAKER_02 58:18

Yeah, right? I mean, that would be fun. But like just sitting on the couch, like, eh, I don't know. But that said, it did lead to some of the movie's most standout moments, too, because the slow mo is interpreted visually. What's up?

SPEAKER_03 58:29

Could I get could I get a quick check on this? Is the idea of a drug that makes you act like Neo funny or not?

SPEAKER_02 58:38

It is, um, but you gotta like uh demonstrate it afterward, right? Like you can't just trust the audience on that one because no does so much stuff.

SPEAKER_03 58:45

I'm just thinking of like a mother coming into her son's room and finding him in like a trench coat and sunglasses, like, no, my father! She like comes forward to try to hug him and he's like backward dodging out of it.

SPEAKER_02 59:00

Yeah, just like doing all sorts of crazy kung fu moves to like block her attempts to hug.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

You know what? I've made I've made up my mind, it's not as funny as I want it to be. It is funny, it's just not we we've had we've buried a lot of gold. This uh we've we've we've planted a lot of seeds, we're just gonna toss this one in the trash. Nobody out there make anything that makes a drug that makes you act like Neo from the Matrix. Don't do that. It's not funny, it's not funny. Not that funny. Yeah, it's not that funny.

SPEAKER_02 59:30

Yeah, the slow-mo drug is, I mean, it's silly, but they do use it well with visually in the movie. Yeah, I think you see it from the user's perspective, right?

SPEAKER_03 59:40

Uh here's something I noted that I thought was very cool. Slow-mo makes everything glisten and like bright and vibrant, like, and you're you know, there is a there's a bit where uh a drug den gets raided from the perspective of two kids who are high on slow-mo. Yeah. And they're watching like a dude's torso ripple and flatten from the impact. And they're watching like these like ruby red gouts of blood coming out as this these guys get like it makes the violence look beautiful. So like, and indeed, uh there's this moment when we first meet Mama, she is on her uh on her uh on her slow-mo, and she's in the bath, and she's kind of like just watching like playing with the suds. Yeah, yeah, and she's watching them fall very slowly, and then at the end, she's high on Judge Dredd forces her to take a slow-mo before he shoves her over the edge.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:39

Oh, he throws her through a fucking window.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

Can I be real? Can I be real though? Like, I I know I said I'd stop glazing Lena Hetty, but sh he says to her, uh, he says, You've been accused of multiple homicides and distribution of narrow. How do you plead? And then he f holds the inhaler, because it's done via inhaler, up to her, and she she plead by just sucking the smoke in and just looking at him, and it's so badass.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:07

And he just says noted and then throws it out a fucking window.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

And I thought there was a very fun echo because the glass breaks, and it looks kind of like the water drops from when she was in the bath, and the same music is playing. So her last moments are kind of beautiful, and like I took that as I took that as kind of an acknowledgement that this she was also a victim in her weird way. Like, it is the cycle of crime, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:32

Cycle of crime. Um, what did you think of that uh like the ending there where she reveals that there's the heart monitor on her wrist rigged up to all the explosives, and Dredd is just like, yeah, let's see what the range is. Like that works for you.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

That did because that was totally in Dred's character. Like Dred, yeah, Dredd has a very fanatical devotion to the law. And like he like he is sort of like that uh that that bit about you know how in uh the peacemaker series they say, I will have peace no matter how many men, women, and children I have to kill to get it. It's like yeah, I will uh I will make this world safe no matter how many people I have to kill.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

Yeah, like yeah, yeah. I guess he already did say the sentence is death.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:13

Yeah, so I thought it was totally in character. I thought it was a wonderful way to end it. I thought it was very cool. Like it said so much about everyone involved. Yeah, I loved that. I fucking loved the ending of that movie. I wish it's one of these rare, rare moments where I wish there had been more. Like just different situations like this. It was so perfect. Um I think we've we've gone as far as we can without acknowledging the OG, the fucking uh the fucking New Zealand elephant in the room.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:48

Yep. Our boy.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:49

Our boy, our boy, Carl Urban. I want to say, and I want to raise a toast to Carl Urban Every generation, every generation gets a genuinely strong dramatic actor who chooses either through circumstance or of their own volition to do mostly genre schlock.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:16

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:17

And we fucking Mila Jovovich Clancy Brown Carl Urban. Like we are blessed, is what I'm saying. Like fucking Carl Urban is one of these genuine scenery chewing action heroes. He's a titan. He's a fucking titan. He always he is always the guy taking it the most fucking seriously. Like in the boys, everyone else is ironic and quippy, and then there's fucking Carl Urban with his fucking accent and he's kidding Bible. Um, but anyways, yeah, Carl Urban. I fucking I've I've loved him in basically everything I've seen him in, even the shit that I haven't liked.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:00

Yeah, no, it makes sense. And he's just one of those presences. You see him on screen, you smile a little bit before you even know you're smiling.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:05

Smile, and like he didn't take his helmet off at all. Like you barely.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:09

No, all you could see was like a frown. He didn't like he didn't emote at all, like like face in the slightest, which is perfect.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:17

Please say something about his frown. Describe it as a shape.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:20

It's like uh it's like a parenthetic, like a parentheses, like but turned on its side. Yeah. And like he just rocks that the entire movie, which is like it's hard to keep your face in that, like like even when he gets shot and he's dying, he's still doing that. Yeah, and it is amazing because he's delivering all of his lines with it too. It works perfectly for the character, and he just rocks this just the dread. Like, if you've seen any Judge Dredd artwork at all, you know exactly the facial.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:46

Oh yeah, no, he he he matched it. He is like very I s I would say go into any text bar that you have, like type in the colon key, and then the the the the brackets key, and that's what his face looks like.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:05

Yeah. Um and see any of the rest of his face except his mouth. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:10

No, he emote he emotes exclusively through his mouth, his body language, and his voice. And because it's fucking Carl Urban, he does it great. Like that's where his fucking scenery chewing becomes an advantage. And when I say scenery chewing, I mean that as a compliment. Like, I fucking love a good scenery chew.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:30

And like yeah, he's delivering his lines with such like belief.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:34

Yeah, no, and he's fucking great, and like at no point does it feel cartoony or anything, like it rules, man. Like his his performance in this rules. I've loved him as Theomer.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:45

Uh loved him in Pathfinder. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:50

I was I was mashing up Theodon and Aomer there. I'm sorry. Aomer. I loved him in Aomer. Yeah, uh, loved him in Pathfinder, yeah. You got to lay some pipe in that one, and that was great.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

Shout out to Lay and Pipe.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:04

Shout out to Lay and Pipe and Shout out Carl Urban. We think about you making love to that beautiful native woman every night.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:11

Oh god, every night.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:13

Well, uh when you're when you're a Carl Urban fan, you're a Carl Urban fan.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:17

There's only one level to it.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:19

There's only one level, and that's level 100.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:23

Yeah. I just like take off my shirt, reveal a huge Carl Urban tattoo, like my nipples or his eyes.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:34

And then like every every other dude around you slowly stands up and takes off their shirt.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:41

And then reveal the same thing. They're all different expressions.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:44

A Yakuza clan. Carl Urban tattoos all on their backs. Fucking grizzly ass, fucking grizzly ass Yakuza dude taking shots of whiskey is like a tattoo artist is like ting, ting, tink, ting. But it's like a terrible fucking version of Carl Urban.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:10

Pretty badly done.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:11

Like it's a fucking$30 Wednesday afternoon tattoo.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:14

Yeah, it cuts to a guy in like the Russian mob, and like he's getting the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:22

Cuts down to the cartel in Mexico.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:25

They're getting the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:27

Some dude is getting like fucking Carl Urban on his face tattooed over his own face. Cut to the White House. Trope is pulling on his shirt. He's got this gigantic bit. No, I'm right. We're going too crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:46

The camera pans out and JD Vance is the one who did the tattoo. It's actually like a one. Pans out JD Vance is just like a pretty good tattoo artist.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:54

He did all of these tattoos. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:56

Just in his free time. That's like his hobby. Vice President Vance, uh, what do you think about tattooing Carl Urban up here? You get one question to ask the vice president.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:14

He's a pretty good tattoo artist, but only of Carl Urban. It's a complete fucking mystery why so many high-powered crime lords wear tattoos of Carl Urban. There's so many fucking layers to this.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:36

Yeah. It's like an Urban, but every layer of the skin is just Carl Urban's face.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:42

There's Carl Urban's face, it's just one continuous tattoo. Like fucking Legion from Castlevania where it's just a bunch of corpses intertwined into a giant sphere, but they're all Carl Urban roles. Speaking of, um there's a new Mortal Kombat series out.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:05

Right. And he's playing Johnny Cage, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:07

He plays Johnny Cage, and he does kind of he does kind of seem built for the role there. Uh oh yeah. I watched both of the original Mortal Kombat movies.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:17

Those are, yeah, those are true.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:18

And because I because I was like nine, I really I I really liked them. Like you will never enjoy a movie more than when you're like between eight and twelve.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

Like Christopher Lambert is riding.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:33

Yeah, yeah. Or just the bit with the fucking Scorpion where he says, get over here, or come here, and like, oh, he said it.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:40

He said the line.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:41

He said the thing. The Glub Shitto moment, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:46

There were a lot of those, bro.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:48

The whole it was a whole Glub Shitto moment.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:51

See, yeah, two movies of just Glub Shitto.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:55

I fucking I fucking love the concept of Glup Shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:59

Now you will die. I always remember that quote.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:02

I love that. Mother, you're alive. Too bad you will die.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:08

That's man, Mortal Kombat is is crazy, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:13

There is some amazingly primitive CGI in those movies.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:18

Right, where Scorpion throws his little fucking harpoon or whatever the fuck in the back.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:22

Yeah, yeah. And then uh in Mortal Kombat Annihilation, where the you will die thing comes from, um Luke turns into a dragon, which is something he does in the in the games, except he turns into like a Chinese dragon. In this one, he just kind of turns into a hulking gargoyle, like a bipedal dragon. Who still throws kicks and punches.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:46

Right, yeah, like that doesn't work nearly as well as like the serpent style dragon.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:51

I feel that would be really really funny if you like a knight coming into a dragon's lair and the dragon punches him starts just fucking decking him.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:01

Just wails on him, like it's like ducking and weaving.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:05

It's like Bob and he just boxes him.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

Dragon boxing.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:13

Dragon, he's like he's gonna then like despite you having a sword, you start boxing him back.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:20

I mean, I would kind of feel the need to, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:11:22

And if the dragon's like eight times your size.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:25

Yeah, yeah. It's still it wouldn't feel fair though if he was trying to box and like right, because he has the option of like using his breath weapon or whatever, but he's not. He's trying to do this pugilistically. So I guess I would uh dispose of my sword and then I mean fuck it, he's eight times larger than me. I'd pull out the gun I brought and choose the dynamic in the room.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:42

And then he also pulls out a gun.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:44

And it's a much bigger one, so then the dynamic has once again shifted.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:48

And then it just becomes like that fucking Bugs Bunny cartoon where like Elmer Fudd is chasing Bugs Bunny and they just chase each other with progressively bigger axes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:58

That would be funny though, in like a fantasy world where like the dragon is just like, yeah, no, I just have like a really big bow. Like I'm not gonna why would I why would I land in this? That's like dangerous. He just has a humongous bow that he uses instead.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:12

That's kind of like that's kind of like Dark Souls logic, right? Like, you know, in Dark Souls 3, there's a giant with an enormous bow that just shoots shit at you.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:21

Well you can befriend him though.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:22

You can befriend him, and he's like, okay, I won't shoot you. He shoots other guys for you, it's tight. That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:28

Uh shout out Dark Souls 3.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:30

Shout out Dark Souls 3. Uh appreciate you choosing to end things on your own terms. Shout out from Soft. Shout out from Soft. Can't wait to play the vampire game.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:43

Remake Bloodborne, please.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:45

Interested where that's good. Please make another Bloodborne. Well, no, they said they wouldn't. We gotta respect that.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:51

If anyone is 60 FPS.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:54

Make Bloodborne 64.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:57

No, 60 FPS. Like makeup.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:01

I'm pitching something else to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:03

Bloodborne 64 sounds good, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:05

It's just like high polyg high polygon slop. I'd fucking love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:10

Directed by Hideo Kojima.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:13

I am curious what uh what a Bloodborne by Hideo Kojima is.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:20

Like one of the most insane settings meets one of the most insane creators.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:24

John Hunterman. Yeah. John John Bloodhammer.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:33

Yeah, you're getting codec calls during the fucking exploration from like random like busty chicks who hang out back at the sanctuary.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:44

The doll is just much different this time.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:48

Very, very different. Interpretation. Back to fucking dread, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:53

Well, well, hang on. I'm I'm I'm sorry. I can't move on just yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:56

Okay. What are you caught up on? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:00

Directed by M. Night Shamalot.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:02

Oh fuck. So it was all a dream.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:05

Actually, that is the fucking plot. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:07

That's some deep ball novels.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:09

Never mind, never mind. Alright, I'm sorry. I thought that was gonna be really funny, but it's a observant. Turns out that already happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:16

That's just the game.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:18

Alright, so I think the last thing I want to talk about with Dred is I said this movie was mechanically sound.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:31

And by that, like I am a man who appreciates craftsmanship, like efficiency, accomplishment in storytelling. Like uh I'll give you an example. I do like many Marvel movies, but my favorite is Civil War.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:51

Specifically for the fact that they managed to introduce so many new characters and character motivations in such a tight space and make them all interact with each other to where it all makes sense. I thought that was an enormous accomplishment. I was really pleased with that. I was and this is the same kind of movie because I said this movie is a really great cross-pollination of of stories because it's uh it's got crime thriller aspects, you know, it's got gang war, it's got uh, you know, it's got colorful gangs, which this fucking podcast loves. Yep. They don't get to show up that much, but but their names were great.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:38

You noted down a couple of the names, like the peyote kings, right? That was what the peyote kings, the red dragons. Imagine having like a police themed gang.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:47

That'd be I feel like that's a crazy move. I think that's in the warriors. We got to the warriors.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:53

Wait, do they like dressing up and like tattooing yourself as like the the police? That's dedication. No, no, I'd probably not.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:59

I just I just thought there was like a cop themed gang in the Warriors, but I could be wrong. We'll talk about that movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:05

There's a lot of gangs in the Warriors.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:06

We will um maybe that'll be our 50 episode. We just did our 22nd episode, everybody. Thank you. Thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:14

If you are listening, thank you for listening, all of you. We appreciate you.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:17

This is all right, but um this movie has like it's a crime thriller, it's a sci-fi, yeah, it's uh shootout movie, it's a martial arts movie, it's inspired by the raid, and all these things touch each other. Like uh this is a crime movie. Why is it a crime movie? Well, because they live in this giant dystopian.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:41

Yeah, and the main characters are police.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:44

And the and the main characters are police. Okay, but there's sci-fi elements. Yes, and the sci-fi elements inform the action. Like, we're not just gonna have shootouts, we're gonna have shootouts with all these cool guns and gas grenades, yeah. All these parts they interact and touch each other, and I think that's so fucking cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:02

You can almost see like the gears like all locking together into this like an effective machine.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:07

And it it extend exactly, exactly, and it extends to the plot too. Like um uh they go there to uh like the the three X three dead dealers that Mama kills, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:21

That's they get yeets off the fucking balcony.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:24

Yeah, that she yeets off the fucking balcony. Judge Dredd and Anderson get called to it purely by chance, just luck of the draw.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:31

They have some options, and Dredd asks Anderson, like, hey, rookie, like it's your you know, try out day or whatever. Yeah, and she's like the plot relevant one.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:40

Yeah, well she just well she says the well she says the peach tree one has the highest crime rate. And she's desperate to prove herself. So yeah, and she fucking impresses Dredd.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:50

Good point.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:51

And they show up there, and because they choose to investigate, they go to a crime. They go and track down the dealers who killed them, and they find the dealers, and they kill two of those dealers and take the third one alive. Played by um played by Avon I'm sorry, find his name, but he's the actor who plays Avon fucking Barksdale. Yes, and a real real fucking quick shout-out.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:13

Wood Harris. Shout out Wood Harris.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:15

Wood Harris, a fucking genuine dramatic presence.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:20

Awesome actor.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:21

One of the great he's a fucking legend, dude. Just like everyone who touched the wire is a legend in their own way. That's where we fucking got Michael B. Jordan. That's where we fucking got Idris Elba. Well, Idris Elba had obviously they both did other shit before that. Yeah, but like that, those were Littlefinger. Those were big trophies on their wall, you know? Yeah, oh sure. Uh so fucking uh yeah, that is where we got Littlefinger. Like fucking uh that's where we got McNulty, who's gone on to do other shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:50

Uh yeah, he was the creepy guy in 300, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:53

He was, yeah, brother. Alright, um but anyways. Uh Matt Stone, I believe. It was Matt Stone, I think, who said, and I'm paraphrasing. Writing isn't this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened. Writing is this happened, and because of that, this happens, and because of that, this other thing happens, and because of that, this other thing happens, which starts this other thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:20

It's not this happens, and then this happens. Yeah, yeah, this was that movie. Causal linkage.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:25

Yeah, yeah. They they they find Wood Harris's character, who's the drug dealer who executed the other three drug dealers.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:32

And the other two drug dealers they executed, but this one they take alive, and he asks uh Anderson, like, are you is this the guy who killed him? And she says, 99% sure. And he says, Can't execute on 99%. So they take decide to take him in.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:47

But now he can rat on mama who doesn't want him to get no, doesn't want to get ratted on.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:52

Yeah, yeah. And so she's like, Alright, now we have to fucking keep these guys from leaving, put the whole thing on lockdown, no one gets out of here.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:00

Yep, and they do have like a reason like why that works. The movie does a very efficient job of like showing them faking like a fire drill or something to like close it down. Well done.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:10

There there's a name for this called the idiot ball. Like, if uh if any character is holding the idiot ball, they're like just you know, there's there's plot reasons why this thing happened, and like there's no but uh as you say, that doesn't happen. Like they fucking plan is very well.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:26

They're playing a different game.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:27

They're playing a different game and it fucking rules.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:29

Uh I am yeah, go ahead. I was just gonna say, like uh kind of leapfrogging off what you said, this movie has a very efficient and effective um way of just escalating and moving along the plot stakes, almost like in tune with how the judges are moving up the building. And it impacts the action, it impacts um like the threat level that they're under, it impacts, you know, and it reflects on the progression of the plot itself, right? Because they start off pretty much at the bottom of the structure, and they're trying to make it ultimately after the place is locked down up to the top to get to mama. And as they progress higher and higher, mama's deploying crazier weapons against them, bringing in alternate threats. You know, they had the mini guns that just shred an entire fucking level. They've got, you know, different uh they got basic gangbangers and people who live there. Then she sends in like a bunch of her high-level goons, Dredd and Anderson are fighting through them, but having a slightly harder and harder time. Then she eventually cut uh calls in the corrupt judges. It's an even higher threat level of technology.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:28

Yeah, yeah, like the stakes are constantly getting higher. She's always using new weapons, she's changing her tactics, like she is genuinely trying to kill these fuckers, and like it works so fucking well, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:39

Yeah, you never think about like why any of that's happening, it just in tandem, like the plot development and the threat level and the like encounters in general that they're going through, they all rise perfectly parallel, you know. Like when he gets to the fucking slow-mo production facility, that's very different. Um, you know, it's much higher different from when they're going through just the apartments.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, my dad is fond of saying that in a story, the further the character goes from where they started, the more satisfying it is. And I agree with that. And like this was I I was thinking of that. Uh because he it is very satisfying to watch them go from the very bottom all the way up to the top.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:21

And I love really, yeah. Um fuck, what a good goddamn movie. What a great fucking movie. I feel like I've glazed it all I can. I've got Curry waiting for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:34

Yeah, I only have like one or two things.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:36

Uh hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:39

Um, well, one thing. Um when we briefly touched on this before we started recording, but how sick would like a dread TV series or like a new dread video game be?

SPEAKER_03 1:22:48

Yeah, there was a dread video game out for the uh SNES, I think. Uh I feel like I played it and I I really didn't like it.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:56

What would a cool modern dread game look like? Would it be like an open world one where you're playing as a judge? Um, would it be like a co-op shooter where you're playing as judges in like different like going into different like crime dens and raiding them?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:09

That could be kind of s I I think there I think you would probably end up like having a co-op system. In my mind, it's a little like Elden Ring. Where like you make a judge and then you get put out on the street, and like you've got some mega blocks or like strongholds that you have to conquer.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:33

Oh yeah, and you can unlock new stuff by like solving crimes in the hall of justice because you access the better tiers of weaponry, like the more you prove yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, and like you know, you can invest in different stats. Like, I want it to be an RPG.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:45

Like, I do like the idea of like uh killing everyone and sentence them to like 10 years in the juve cubes.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:52

Yeah, yeah, and like maybe maybe like uh how you choose to sentence people is what I like the more I talk about it, the more it feels like a witcher game to me.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:03

Where like more arrests you get and the more appropriate sentences you dispense.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:06

Like, yeah, yeah, and there's and there's like different there's like different enemy types, so like you have to plan what kind of ammo you're gonna bring and what you're and like the whole the whole point is like to use uh your special ammo to set up situations for where you can use your regular ammo better, you know. Like use your ins use your incendiary to sp to split up this group and then gun down the remainers, you know, like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:32

Use the explosive on like the big turret.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:35

Yeah, use hot shot for one big shot, you know, on yeah. Dude, that's that's not a bad idea at all. That's not a bad fucking idea at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:43

And then it could be a sick TV show too, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:46

Um I could see it doing very well as an adult animation. Think would happen is what I don't want to see happen, where it would be like uh where it'd be like one of you know, like the DC animated universe uh style. Yeah, yeah. It's just like all these very square looking dudes.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:06

Oh, yeah, like I would not want that.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:07

Very, very and like very very slender but buff women, and just everyone everyone kind of looks very blocky and chunky, and like I would say I would love to see this as like fucking some esoteric 80s anime.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:23

Oh, okay. I was just thinking live action would work, or it would be super hard to translate the original like 2080 art style from like the dread comics into Angle.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:31

I could I could see I could I could see it working very well live action if it were sort of like the shield. Yeah, and it was like it was like this background conflict of like corruption simmering, and then it was just like day-to-day missile, not missile, where the fuck am I saying? Day-to-day missions.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:49

Missions, yeah. Day-to-day missiles have missiles in them. Day-to-day missiles district B13. Hey, there's a missile in that mission.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:55

Get your fucking daily missile. Get your fucking daily missile, is all I have to say. That was treasure your health.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:01

Yeah. Um, I think do I have anything else on here? Oh, what was your favorite fight scene? That's my last question.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:08

It's got I gotta give credit. It's gotta be the throat chop. It's gotta be the throat chop. And I say that just because that's so cool. Like and I wanna say, just like that's like, you know, that's how that's that's that is a criteria for an action movie, is a fucking cool kill, you know? Like, that's Arnold fucking jamming a steam uh steam pipe through somebody, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:26:37

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:40

That's fucking um that's fucking Arnold. Arnold just has a lot of these. Uh that's fucking Arnold whacking. That's fucking Arnold whacking off Thulsadoom's head. You know, like that's dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:52

Phrasing?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:54

Oh, wow. Come to me, my child.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:59

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:00

Oh, cross. I'm sorry. I want to I want to drop this. I want to drop this. But uh Arnold, you know, you know what I'm you know what I'm saying is like these really cool action shots, like feats of fucking action. It's like um, it's it's or the or the fuck here's another here's a non-Arnold example. Rob Roy. Where Liam Neeson grabs the fucking rapier and then fucking wrecks what's his holds the guy down and just fucking splits him in half with one shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:28

Yeah, with a saber.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:30

Yeah. So like shit like that. And just the the visual of seeing a guy's larynx collapse is wild. Yeah. That's too good. What's your favorite? Do you agree, disagree?

SPEAKER_02 1:27:41

I would say my favorite was the one where they're using their like tactical gas grenades and they're advancing up the staircase, just wrecking everybody in like perfect concert.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:49

Because that like that's that's when they get to push back, you know, like demonstrates how fucking crazy. Like berserk, and now it's like, alright. No, like it's it's that you're trapped in here with me moment, right? Like like that's the like it's that it's that moment where like which is very satisfying where the bad guys have underestimated the good guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:12

That was my prototype. But there like pretty much everything in here is good. We both agree.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:16

It's all good. I think you gotta see it watch this fucking movie. I think you gotta see it. You gotta watch it a couple times. It's legitimately fucking good. Uh Will, would you like to do some housekeeping?

SPEAKER_02 1:28:26

Yeah, happy to. Uh Slop Culture is a podcast hosted by Sam Sykes and Will Palmer. Will Palmer! Will Palmer, Sam Sykes. Uh please give us a five-star review on whatever platform you heard us on. Our cover art's by Andrew Sides, and our intro music is by Joe Roy. Um, you can get in touch with us at Slopculture Podcast at gmail.com. Uh, you can find me on social media at uh Will underscore Palmskies or Palmskis pretty much everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:54

You can find me at Sam Sykeswears. Sorry for coughing. I'm I'm trying to I no, I've just been listening to our old episodes. I end up coughing a little too much because I'm trying to do that less, is what I mean. Um thank you for joining us for this episode on Dread. It was wonder wonderful to see you, William, as always. I look forward to the next one we're gonna do. Uh and if you are listening to this, let us know if you would want us to tell you what movie we're gonna watch next. Because right now we've just been kind of shooting it, but we've had some people suggest that they might like to know what we're watching so they can watch along. And if that's the case, we will absolutely do that. But until then, I have been Sam Sykes.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:43

I've been Will Palmer.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:44

And until we see you again, stay sloppy.