Slop Culture
Slop Culture is a happy hour podcast that strives to see the beauty in stupidity. Movies, books, video games, media--anything that falls under the theater of the macho and the campy, we can't get enough of. Join us for a drink, a few laughs and then send us your angry letters when we have opinions you don't like.
Slop Culture
Escape From New York - We Should Absolutely Be Wearing Spats
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The boys take a moment to pour a glass of classic Kurt Russell and savor the heady aroma of a classic commando story about what happens when politics are decided via guys with eyepatches and New York is finally allowed to live its authentic self as a supermax prison for community theater actors.
Well, you know who else did some stuff that was legally indefensible.
SPEAKER_04You can't you can't just open on that. You can't you can't just open with that joke. You gotta fucking you gotta knead it in. You gotta fold it in like I gotta butter it up first.
SPEAKER_01You know, I actually tweeted at Lee Pace, the guy who voices drag in uh in Invincible. I tweeted at him that his voice sounded like butter if butter was mean.
SPEAKER_04That's that's actually like a really good description. I think he does it. I think he does a very good job, but yes, yeah. He does sound that very specific, like slippery butter. Smooth and mean. Like yeah, yeah, like smooth and mean and just a little just a little fatty. Uh not unsalted, unsalted, but mean unsalted butter, because the performance is not that salty, I would say.
SPEAKER_01Like it's right next to the what, like the Lando Lakes butter.
SPEAKER_03It's like mean unsalted.
SPEAKER_04Mean unsalted, like yeah, you've got salted, unsalted, and then mean and mean unsalted.
SPEAKER_01The mean butter is just fucking honestly. I would buy like it just appeals to my like innate, like kind of caveman brain. It was like, oh, I want to buy food that's gonna bully me, right? I guess that's the logic.
SPEAKER_04That's kind of the logic behind uh you know, peppers and such. They they sting like hell going in and coming out, but my god, my god, so satisfying to to defeat a plant that fights back. Yeah, like you know, you never think about it, it's just like Darwin. Yeah, like that that's the whole thing, is like you never think about it because most plants don't fight back, but like a pepper. That's like the closest you can get short of eating a cactus. And I yeah, I just I just think eating a cactus is just a no-go.
SPEAKER_01I mean, you could, it's just like not a good choice, right?
SPEAKER_04Like, yeah, like like a very bad choice. Alright, I'm gonna fucking try this this fucking headline. Let me sure. Let me let me let me know what you think about this. Okay. Did you ever see Die Hard and think the only thing wrong with that is that it did not have the cast of a local community theater? If so, I have great news for you. Today we're talking about Escape from New York, directed by John Carpenter and starring Kurt Russell. It's Slop Culture, everybody. Yes, welcome to Slop Culture, the happy hour podcast, where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity. I am your host, Sam Sykes, and with me, as always, a man who left his mark on the restaurant industry after building and losing a fortune in sushi after introducing a restaurant where the waiters commit seppuku if they get their order wrong. It's Will Palmer.
SPEAKER_01And look, uh, to be fair, we had pretty good reviews going into the first you know couple months, but there was some staff attrition.
SPEAKER_04There was like uh morale must have been difficult.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. Um, it was hard. Um, after Kenji um, you know, he needed me to be his second, and I kind of fucked up the swing on it. It took me like three chops to get his head cut off. And so like he's just kind of like hanging there with half his spinal column severed, just like gagging and bleeding everywhere. The customers are trying to enjoy their fucking Philadelphia roles, and I'm just sitting there like a fucking asshole.
SPEAKER_04Well, you know what, you know what though, in your defense, in your defense, like like do you go to fucking like Peter Piper pizza if you don't like the sound of arcade noises? Like, do you go to Dave and Busters if you don't like flashing screens? No. Do you go to the sepulku restaurant if you don't want to see sepulku? No, like fuck off customers. Like, this is what you came for. Come on. Like, this is this is the this is the the the Mik Hideyoshi's promise.
SPEAKER_01There is a reason we have like water absorbent fucking towels everywhere on the floor, you know. Yeah, yeah. You know what they're getting into when they roll in there. It's gonna get wet. It's gonna get wet. It's like Disneyland Brother. It's gonna get wet.
SPEAKER_04You might get wet. But um one thing that did interest me about your business plan, uh, how did you keep morale up? Because I imagine like you can't just like throw a pizza party for like people, you know, like it can't just be as easy as that, you know. Like you're asking them to like cut themselves open.
SPEAKER_01Right. Well, what I did do was I actually founded, without their knowledge, um, a quote unquote competing establishment right across the street, and I paid all the employees there to start, you know, defacing my employees' property. Wow. So it was kind of like an us versus them scenario, but I was both us and them without either them's knowledge.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were you were you were doing a little Machiavelliing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they were so motivated by hatred that they just kept, you know, you know, ritually disemboweling themselves in front of my customers without really much complaint.
SPEAKER_04Wow. I mean, you know, like that's what they say is work smarter, not harder.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, really what fucking got me was the health code.
SPEAKER_04I love the idea of you being like completely unmoved by like the violence, and then you get like not even a failing grade, you just get a B on your health code.
SPEAKER_03It's hard, closing it all down. That's it! Shut it down.
SPEAKER_04Well, that you I'm I'm so are you out of that business now, would you say? Or like allegedly. Allegedly. So, like, okay, I I got you, I got you. We'll we'll we'll move on. We'll move on.
SPEAKER_01I'm I'm still in the fish game.
SPEAKER_04I'm still in the fish game. Well, that could mean so many things. I know. Like, I know what you mean within the context, and then my brain went to like I yeah, I'm sure it did. My not like my brain went to like a uh a fucking fast and furious, but like based around the the care of exotic fish.
SPEAKER_02Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04Like like like you know that scene in uh The Wire? Uh no, you have not seen the wire, right? I've seen the wire. Yeah, yeah. You know with Wee Bay's fish? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like the aquariums, like yeah, like D'Angelo thinks he's gonna get whacked. Yeah, but then like and then like he's fucking like that's and he's saying like shit, Jezebel's around here, something. I don't know, she thinks she's cute. Like, yeah, like I would love to see a movie that's just that, just like really tough guys, like character fish, like you know, yeah, and like talking really fucking like serious about like the fish game don't stop.
SPEAKER_01Like yo, yeah, the fishy yo, these cod dude, the cods keep it real.
SPEAKER_04It's like it's like fucking like you know, and two in like Fast and Furious, where they all get their cars and they're like, What you got there? Like a hemi, like a like a like a dog, you got some you got some nice, yeah, but like they're all caring for like different aquariums, like yo, what is that? Is that a hundred gallons?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, hey Tez, what kind of fucking tank you got there, bro?
SPEAKER_04Tej, and he's like, Tank, bitch, this is a bavarium. And it's like, oh shit, he's got the dry, he's got a dry land portion as well. Look, there's a little frog living there.
SPEAKER_01It's got hydraulics like the the aquarium does.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, hydraulic, like yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And there's just like a sexy chick fucking like wiping it down at all times.
SPEAKER_04There's just like a sexy chick ass out, like skipping dead fish out of the fucking she's like being she's like trying to be all hot about it, like camera lingering on her as she like picks up the dead fish and like drops it in the toilet.
SPEAKER_01Like Tej like doesn't know that fish need to eat. So he's just getting new fish.
SPEAKER_04Dude, I'm I'm sorry. I really I I on this uh we do a lot of riffing on this show, a lot of like speculating about about situations that don't exist, and we've been delighted by a lot of the hypotheticals we've come up with. But I gotta say, Fast and the Furious with aquariums is is one of my favorite things we've come up with. I want to see Vin Diesel like fucking picking, like picking out like Tetra, and he was like, I gotta have all three colors.
SPEAKER_01Roman has like fucking like the fighting fish, and he keeps putting them in the same bowl.
SPEAKER_04Like Paul Walker has like this fucking like is like down on his luck, fucking like angel fish, nobody believes in, but he's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make you a champion.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he's got him buckled into the fucking passenger seat and he's firing up the NOS.
SPEAKER_04The fish is like to the glass, like complete, completely unclear how this is going to help. It doesn't at all. Welcome to the glamorous world of underground fish show. Fish racing, yeah. This is too tank, too furious. No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Two fish too furious is probably the the fish in the furious. That there we go. I don't know. Two two fish too floppy. This is a this is a commercial for Cialis. So I'm not gonna go into it because I'm so delighted by two fish too furious, but Vin Diesel doing Cialis, that would be a lot of fun for me. All right, um uh we are supposed to talk about Escape from New York, starring Kurt Russell. But you know, also, this is a happy hour podcast. We use this opportunity to sometimes just have you know check in with each other, talk about stuff we've seen. And uh I I have something to I have I have an experience I'd love to share with you if you've got time.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_01Happy to hear.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. Um are you a football guy? I know you're out on the east coast. This can be a a pretty big culture out there.
SPEAKER_01To like a very minor extent. I mean, I played football in high school, meaning I like I gave him a real good look on the scout team. Uh oh, wow, okay. I mean, and that means I wasn't very good. Um pretty nice.
SPEAKER_04But you you you made other people look fucking great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, dude, they fucking dumpstered me. I got pasted sometimes.
SPEAKER_04That's what they called you, is they called you the dumpster.
SPEAKER_01They called me uh Arnold Palmer. That's what the code called me.
SPEAKER_04We'll have a fucking movie where you're like that's about like the fucking worst guy on the team that makes everyone else look great. We'll call it the dumpster. Yeah, yeah, except he just fucking just getting bodied all the time. He's getting concussion after concussion. His mind is fucking porridge.
SPEAKER_01He's so kind of like a Rudy 2 radio journey.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, but it's Rudy 2 Rudy X radio. To Rudy 2 radio, too Rudy to Rudy. But as you know, it's uh it's it's it's a passion of mine. I am not a football guy, but uh it's a passion of mine to understand what makes people interested in other parts and other things, you know. Like I'm a I like movies a lot, I understand why people get into movies. I want to understand why people get into football.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_04And so I got invited by a friend, a friend of mine invited me to watch the NFL draft with uh with his family. He said that we're a big football family. If you want to learn how football works, just come hang out with us. And I'm like, you know what? That sounds wonderful. So you know, like I'm I I pick up some fried chicken, a very nice little fried chicken platter. You don't want to come empty-handed, right? Right.
SPEAKER_01You want to bring some yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04There's a nice little platter going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I come in and it's a wonderful family. Uh they're all wearing their team colors. I'm sorry, I'm not a football guy, I can't remember what the team was. Uh, but as soon as I sit down to watch, I'm noticing that you know, like the grandma is there, the mom and the dad are there. I'm friends with the dad. Uh his name's Brian. And uh Brian. Yeah, shout out to Brian. And he's got like some cousins, uh, a couple of uncles here and there, and like together, like yeah, and he's got a uh he's got a daughter, and it turns out that this daughter is seeing a new guy. Okay. However, tell me if you've heard this one before. This guy supports a different team.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit.
SPEAKER_04So you know, there I'm I'm thinking Romeo and Juliet.
SPEAKER_01I'm thinking, you know what?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm I'm thinking there's gonna be like maybe maybe a little zany discomfort, you know, like a little awkwardness. But it's probably gonna be pretty funny. Um so there's a knock at the door, and the guy shows up. Uh, I can't remember his name. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna call him the guy, if that's all right with everybody. Um but uh he shows up, he's wearing the other team's colors, and like immediately everyone like playfully goes, like, oh boo, boo. And so I join in, you know. I'm like, oh boo, boo, like ah ha ha ha. And then he sits down and he's like, okay, guys, yeah, okay. We get to talking a little, really nice guy, and then you know, I'm thinking I feel very I I think he's great, I'm sure he's a wonderful boyfriend to this to Brian's daughter, but then but he can't be more than like I don't know, like 23, I think he is. Uh anyways, the draft starts. And I gather these two teams want a lot of the same players.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04So, because one football player got drafted for uh Brian's team. Yeah, they all got they all got really excited and they're like, Yeah, we got ours, and then they they turn to the guy and they're like, How do you like that, pal? You know, a little more playful ribbing.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_04And and I just go, like, yeah, how do you like that, buddy? Because I'm trying to get into it. Oh, and I give him like a playful little slug. A playful little slug, and he's like, Ah, you guys, like, you know, we're all having a really good time.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04And then like Brian sees me give him a playful little slug. He's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, how do you like that guy? And he just gives him another playful little slug. And we're like, Okay, okay, okay. It's time for the next pick. We see who gets drafted next. And again, it goes to Brian's team. And they're all like excited as hell. They're like wondering, like, woo, yeah, our team, our team. And then they turn to the guy, and Brian just says, How do you like that, buddy? And I he winds up like he's gonna give him another playful little slap. But it's just this big open hand, like Brian's a big dude. He's like, he's like he's at least 3'10. And it's just this open handed, meaty slap across this guy's face. Like it fucking snaps his head to the side, just like, oh like there's an odd, like, you know that fucking like a fucking strike there. Yeah, yeah. You know that sound of like meat striking meat that's like so unpleasant that like masturbation? That no, no, no, that's like meat sliding on meat. This is like meat slapping meat. Oh, one second. Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean. But anyways, um I'm like, okay, that seems a little that seems a little fucking. But the the guy is just like, oh, you know, it's just it's just sports. It's just sports. We're all having a good time. I'm like, okay, okay, all right, it's just sports.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_04Uh so I'm I like we're waiting for the next uh pick to come around. I'm hanging out by the spread. There's this very nice bowl of queso dip. It's very hot. It's on like a little one of those like little heaters, you know, like Brian. He loves he loves football. He gets he spares no expense. He's got this great little and so I'm talking to his wife, and we're having a lovely time. But you know, she's just as into football as he is.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say, she so she's into the same team as everybody expected. She's into the same team.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. Like the boyfriend is just the other team, and he's being a great sport about it. He's just the next slap. The next pick happens. The next pick happens, right? And it's for Brian's team again. And they go fucking nuts. They're like, yeah, woo! And then his wife, who is right next to me, picks up the queso dip, the searing hot queso dip. He's gonna say pretty hot, pretty hot dip. She just slams it. She just fucking like Michael Jordans it right on the boyfriend's head, and like kind of like a you're not locked in, yeah. Yeah, like like scalding hot cheese is like like dripping down in his face. And his he's got this very youthful face, and his skin is so fair, and it's turning like beet red. It's turning like beet painful red, like steered by a fucking cartoon. And he's like, ah, ah, but the more he screams, the more the cheese like drips into his mouth.
SPEAKER_01So it just comes like is he soaking it up?
SPEAKER_04Like it's a good cheese.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it was good cheese.
SPEAKER_04It was good cheese, but like everyone's going like, woo, like everyone's and he's just like, okay, he's just okay. Yeah, yeah, he's just like, okay, guys. Yeah, he's just like, okay, guys, that that that's good enough. And I'm like, I'm like, someone like this can't be right. He's like, no, no, it's just I just really need to impress my girlfriend's parents. I just really need to impress my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay, okay. And so I get I guess you know what happened next. There was another pick.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04And it went to Brian's team again.
SPEAKER_01Oh, not again.
SPEAKER_04No, no, no. Um, one of the uncles, a a bit like um, it was Brian's brother, actually, uh comes running forward and grabs the boyfriend and like puts him in an arm lock, you know, like holds his arms above his head. And keep in mind, this kid's like fucking scalding his skin, his bubbling. Yeah, it's like and so Brian picks up a crowbar and just cracks the boyfriend in his ribs, like, yeah, take that, pal, take that. What do you think? And then soon, like, the cousins and everyone else are just grabbing shit and they're they're bashing this boyfriend bodily. His like I can hear his bones breaking. Like they're just having a great time. Like, like I think the worst part of it was how much fun they were having. Like, like, it wasn't that they didn't care about the bones snapping, it's that they enjoyed it, you know?
SPEAKER_01That's that that's they took pleasure in the Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04And so there was another pick, and I'm sure you know what happened. It went to Brian's team again. And this time, I'm sorry, this was just over the line. I don't care how invested you are in sports, you shouldn't do this. This is just poor form, this is bad manners. The the the great grandmother of the family, ancient and revered, rises out of her easy chair. I haven't seen her move the entire fucking time covered in cobwebs and yeah, yeah, and like the dust falls from her and her bones creak as they set into a place, and she points at the boyfriend and goes Unworthy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you usually don't want to hear that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and and then this like green aura like comes comes like pulled out, pulled out of this guy's this poor boyfriend's mouth.
SPEAKER_01She sucked it out.
SPEAKER_04Like, like she suctioned his soul out, dude, and she just ate it. She just ate it right there. She just goes like sucked it on down. And then she she like she like reclines back onto her throne and she just settles back into another ancient stupor. Um, and then every and I'm like, this is ridiculous. But then someone else, someone else gets picked, and for and it goes to the boyfriends. And so they all and so Brian just looks at it at Brian is just doing one of those, like, you know what, I'll be the bigger man. So he's just like clap, clap, clap, and just like, but of course the guy's fucking like he's an empty husk at that point. All he feels, yeah, he's but he's still aware, so all he feels is pain. And like, oh wow, that's uh anyways. I think later they went out. I I think later they all went out uh to see a movie together, and I I I told him, I'm like, you know what? You should get her ice cream, you should get her ice cream. I think that would be really nice.
SPEAKER_01And he just went, uh that checks out.
SPEAKER_04I'm just saying, that was uh that was a very that was very enlightening for me.
SPEAKER_01A cultural experience.
SPEAKER_04Yes, yes. I I did not know that's what happened at football parties. I gotta say, I do I do see the appeal. I do see the appeal.
SPEAKER_01Like is it the molten cheese?
SPEAKER_04The molten cheese, uh you know, by the end, I was kind of like, yeah, you know what? A little a little torture, that's not so bad, right?
SPEAKER_01Like imagining like a fondue pot, but it's literally just like molten cheese poured on some dude's head, and he's like walking around screaming in pain as you like dunk mozzarella sticks on it. Like is it like a Hellraiser situation?
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, just like where he's where he's like where he's like bound to the fondue maker and like he has to walk around.
SPEAKER_01He has he has to like walk around to everybody at the party.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, and he's like strapped to the fondue maker. Yeah, yeah. He's like people people just gotta like scrape off him. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01They won't like kind of donk on his side.
SPEAKER_04Every time they do, it fucking hurts. Like pieces of him. come off on every chip.
SPEAKER_01Oh, but it tastes really good.
SPEAKER_04But it tastes amazing. Alright, can I pitch you really quick a a chain franchise of restaurants similar to this fate this podcast's favorite restaurant chili. Yeah. Except it's Hellraiser. Okay. So like you select your fate and then like get like bound to the the the cauldron of molten cheese.
SPEAKER_01They have like a like a special on each different day. Like you're basically on the eternal wheel of torment every Tuesday. Wheel of Torment Tuesdays.
SPEAKER_04Wheel of Torment Tuesdays.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_04And it's just like what I take it back it the whole restaurant doesn't remain that it's just one day of the week. Like this it's margarita what Mondays. Woo and it's like it's it's uh I don't know a fucking um it's hump day drinks for Wednesday and then like it's wheel Thursdays.
SPEAKER_03It's trivial wheel of torment Tuesday.
SPEAKER_01There's just like flayed skins hanging off of the fucking spine but only on Tuesday.
SPEAKER_04It's like a family friendly restaurant except for one day a weekless it's a horror show where it's just like the locals love it. Like just it's just there's a documentary about the owners it's this very sweet Midwestern couple. We came out of here from Illinois and and we said we want to we wanted a bit of the old southwest so we we bought a chilies and we just didn't know this was the cursed one where apparently those days well what can you do what can you do like apparently this used to be some sort of black chapel in service of mammon.
SPEAKER_01And there's like a like a scarecrow in the background that begins to burn and then the scarecrow starts screaming and you realize screaming and flailing like there is the scarecrow of course but came with the place came with the place I keep telling Nance I'm gonna get I'm gonna take care of it.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna take care of it but you know the wife right am I right fellas well do you want to talk about escape from New York?
SPEAKER_01I would love to and since I believe I recommended this movie uh this was your recommendation it will be uh um your turn to do the two minute drill for today yes would you mind if I took a real quick sip and a a a little a little toasty poo? No I actually would mind you fuck. No yeah fucking asshole give me a Capri Sun I just love for some reason the idea of just a humongous Capri Sun pouch always cracks me up like a 15 pound Capri Sun it takes like both hands both arms to like carry lug it around it's bigger than a camelback. What would you feel about it's like carried around by a Sherpa that's the new mascot for Capri Sun isn't it comes with backpack straps so you can carry a mysterious Tibetan man who descends from the mountains with Capri Sun yeah how would you feel about Capri Sun if it were like an IV like I feel like if you'd be in if you if you were in the hospital and they were about to like just shoot me up with like however many ccs of Capri Sun I would I'd have questions probably at least one question.
SPEAKER_04What if that's the commercial where like you're in the hospital like you're like is this alright and then like the nurse we're gonna find out squirt squirt like regs coming out of the fucking needle like the nurse is the nurse is like you need some excitement in your life oh no and there's like a wave of surf that crashes through the fucking little ward like it like punch she punches a vein with like that stupid little straw and it takes her a couple of things. No the straws of the fucking bone you're just watching in horror as like bright pissed yellow capri sun comes down the slowly fills your arteries and then you're like slowly then suddenly like you see like a huge wave come crashing in. It's like washing away all the other washing away and like you're you're like you're becoming like trapped in this nightmarish hellscape where like where like Capri Sun is rising around you and everyone is like drowning and dying.
SPEAKER_01They're all trying to batter through the ceiling to get all together.
SPEAKER_04But then like the ceiling breaks and you're like alone in this enormous ocean of Capri Sun and totally and suddenly like the the the seas part as some enormous Cthulhu creature and like opens 16 mouths and goes like and then smash cut to the back to the hospital bed you're just you're like coding people foaming at the mouth dying you're just foaming at the mouth capri son it's like god damn it you can't give patients capri son What did I tell you?
SPEAKER_03This is the 14th time the Capri Sun killers try to only on investigative discovery only on slot culture investigates a slot culture limited series slop culture limited series can you kill someone with Capri Sun and if so how funny would that be okay fuck I I would love to give you a from New York bitch.
SPEAKER_00Alright starting at five four three two one Kurt Russell is Snake Pliskin.
SPEAKER_04Snake Pliskin is a commando soldier of fortune ex-military special forces dude with kind of like a very whimsical combination of camouflage pants and an eye patch and it it just works. And the year is 1991 and all of New York City uh I'm sorry just Manhattan Manhattan Island has been turned into a supermax prison where everyone gets thrown just everyone and the the army of New York of the army of New York is poised in a ring outside it nobody gets in I mean actually a lot of people get in nobody gets out that's the thing except the president's plane goes down and they crash in New York City oh no but the president also is has a cassette that carries with it the secret of nuclear fusion which he's gonna give to the Chinese and that's gonna make that's gonna make uh world peace happen somehow. I'm not super clear on that part but Snake Pliskin tracks him down and he escapes uh some crazy people with the some cannibals with the help of Tor9 and they meet a a a dude and his girlfriend and she's pretty stacked but she's got like those curly ninety that curly 1980s hair for like where like there was only one year in the 80s where that was attractive and by God this is that year. And they find out that the president is being held by the Duke of New York who is this colorful gang lord and okay uh and then uh fucking he uh uh snake Plisken almost saves the president but then the president is like oh no we've been captured again and now they're making me wear a wig that really happens and then Snake Plisken is forced to fight a giant Zangifief looking guy uh but then the president escapes uh and then Snake helps the president escape and snake says a lot of people died to help you Mr. President and Mr. President says well I don't care about that I or I do care but not enough so just the last part is just for some reason uh Snake Pliskan decides that the Cold War must continue and just and destroys evidence that would help end it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04How do you think I did how do you think I did that I thought that was pretty good.
SPEAKER_01I mean this movie is it's a very vibes based film I think I really like that idea. Um would you please elaborate like there are so many individual scenes and they're stitched together in a way that and I mean this is what a story is right scenes that are stitched together but in this one the scenes might not necessarily and I think we talked about this a little before the podcast they might not necessarily all work toward the same end right some of them might be a little overly long some of them might not s really like build out the plot that much but each one of those scenes has like a very distinct sense of what it's trying to do in a sense of place I I I really like that explanation.
SPEAKER_04This just came to me so tell me if you agree with this a lot of this movie kind of feels like a gallery almost okay wherein uh the scenes mostly work together but more based off a theme you know rather than like a coherent story. And that's not to say the plot is incoherent or anything. No yeah I know uh it's it like it's very clear what happened president crash lands in a supermax prison.
SPEAKER_01Snake Plisken's gotta get him out uh and if he does he wins his freedom and he does he also gets like the bombs taken out of his blood right don't they inject him with like little micro bombs and I thought that was a fun little plot I for I forgot basically Snake Pliskin is arrested for for I think for being Snake Pliskin. He's just one of these guys you know well they do a good job of building out like in we talked about this a little bit too like everybody knows who Snake Pliskin is. They don't really ever explain why they know it except like my favorite part of this movie's like world building is when somebody kind of says to uh Snake just you flew the uh the gulfier over uh what was it flew the goldfire Stalingrad Stalingrad and they never expand on that at all but oh yeah interesting right is like the incident I know who Snake is they and like he's in trouble with the government he's a badass.
SPEAKER_04We don't know exactly why I don't think I'm gonna show what an asshole I am and say like yeah that's very that's very from soft point where there's like a lot of shit happening but all the characters know what happened so they don't really like explain it in an introductory friendly way. Like I like that though you know it's I like that like I guess this this feels like a good place to talk about um Kurt Russell.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04This is you know uh we talked about this before uh in some episodes we end up talking a lot about the movie and in some episodes we end up talking a lot about the actor like our equalizer episode was more about Denzel than it was about the movie I think yeah and his horrible no good very bad Italian trick I'm sorry I always always always going to love I'm always going to love uh fucking uh Denzel like the in that movie like I love that movie so much uh we glaze we've we've glazed that too much point being like there will be a movie uh where we glaze Kurt Russell more and I don't think this is that movie uh yeah there will be more opportunities too but this is yeah yeah like like to be clear I think Kurt Russell has an amazing milieu good word uh I think he is is ouvre uh I think he has an amazing uh work body of work let's call that he does some of the most effortlessly cool performances ever and like his secret power is that he takes everything deadly seriously and like acts like he's fucking sure actually in that situation and it works well and he does that in this he's he's like I said at the start of this that this was kind of like die hard with community theater and honestly I do kind of stand by that because Kurt Russell gets an amazing fucking performance. He's fucking great and I love him. Uh but but no one else is quite matching his energy. Yeah you were saying earlier before we started recording the Lee Van Cleef uh I think we both adore in pretty much everything he shows up in um but that he didn't bring maybe the same energy as Kurt Russell did uh to this he's got this very distinct uh stern present in the good defending the ugly yeah yeah yeah he's got this very aggressive look to him and so you kind of want that presence and like sure he's got some present for that but he just he's just not really feeling it like he's just not really I don't know if the project just didn't vibe with him or if he just needed the money or what but like he just he didn't have a lot to do besides like talk shit over the radio to Snake just like hey like you know I'm gonna blow your fucking head off remotely Lee Van Cleef plays the commissioner of police of New York police Colonel Hawk or something like that. Colonel Hawk yeah and at this point it's a uh you know the city the the NYPD is an army and their sole purpose is to keep everyone locked in Manhattan.
SPEAKER_01Uh and so Lee Van Cleef pulls Snake Pliskin out of uh solitary and says like listen you're going into uh I did like this uh there is this bit where they're walking Kurt Russell towards his fate and like there's this loudspeaker playing is like you're going to you know just explaining his fate and there's this bit where it says like you have the option to request termination and cremation on the premises that's fine if you desire this please ask the staff sergeant on duty that's some Starship Troopers level like kind of amusing dystopian yeah yeah yeah like like and we'll we'll we'll talk about that too how this has kind of one of these whimsical dystopias rather than like the brutal crushing ones right but he gets uh sent in to rescue the president played by Donald Pleasance who also I mean it's kind of Donald Pleasance doing better roles you know like crushed as uh Blofeld right in those uh the classic Bond movies and in this one you know he has this like one scene where he kind of cuts loose you know all right now and then he like spoiler alert he just absolutely machine guns the main bad guy will just like yeah yeah yeah like he but other than that like he doesn't really have a lot of like his character like obviously yeah like the character doesn't have a lot of range our first meeting with him he's getting in an escape pod because uh his plane has been hijacked and it's going to crash and he just he seems very bored by it he's just like Godspeed you know like Godspeed your force war this is not yeah yeah so no tension there but uh Lee Van Cleef gives Snake Plisken the job get in there yeah you have like 24 hours or whatever the fuck before he makes another reference he says hey you remember back in Stalingrad where you shot where you took the gulfire like 180 degrees and pivoted away yeah and like that's that's kind of the that's kind of what you're talking about is like this un this this this uh second hand world building I guess I want to call it yeah where they're talking yeah so well done yeah yeah and like we don't know what a gulf we don't know we don't know what a gulf fire is but we know snake pliskin did something like defiant and fucked up yeah in our heads we have like an image like each one of us has like a separate image of what a gulf fire looks like yeah yeah we're all we're all right because there is no defined image of the gulf it's always cool like this is this is something I've wanted to talk about for a while and I I've been reluctant to because it involves Star Wars.
SPEAKER_04But you know like you know uh in uh a new hope when Han says this the Millennium Falcon can do the Kessel running 15 parsecs or whatever the something like that. Yeah yeah that is such a great line because he never explains what the Kessel run is but everyone acts like oh okay that's you know that's fucking impressive yeah and so we're just like we're just left like what is the Kessel run? And in our heads we all come up with what the best part of it is.
SPEAKER_01And then uh you know they release solo years later and you find out oh the Kessel Run is a field of black holes like oh yeah and now they're like covering like their ass with the parsecs thing like nobody actually cared that much that a parsec is a unit of distance and not touch yeah yeah no like like like it's just it's like oh okay like because in my head I was thinking like it was some fucking cool ass blockade like and like he's a smuggler because he ran that that fucking bad it was like a like a bottleneck or something that he had to run.
SPEAKER_04Yeah yeah yeah like he like like like he was out there fucking uh Sir Davosing but uh but you know like uh you know so that I'm not gonna say that ruined it yes it is it isn't but it less good because it wasn't it what like my my input in that had been taken away from me and so like I didn't get a chance to see myself in that and so you know that's uh and you know like some some uh writers say like you know I would never get c art character art of my characters because I want everyone to like have their own vision of him and I think that's legit but uh like in this case it actually works you know like like we we don't know exactly what snake Plisken does but he's done something where everybody knows who the fuck he is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah and even all like the criminals have like a certain level of respect for him.
SPEAKER_04Yeah yeah and like there there's a lot of fucking and like there's you know there's pride on his name like killing Snake Pliskin makes you a fucking hero like yeah yeah so he draws a lot of fucking water yeah and he's fucking he's great in this like Kurt Russell I love Kurt Russell in basically everything I see him in so I know I'm not saying a ton but I loved him in this one I loved him as fucking taking everything seriously like he's the only one who's having a good fucking time and acting like this is a big deal and it absolutely fucking owns uh I do want to say I did find the combination of the camouflage pants and the eye patch I found that a little whimsical yeah that and like he had like his under armor tank top yeah I found that I found that a little just just just a little a a whimsical whimsical like I was just bring the community theater aspect to it a little bit right yeah like like I guess well this is a good place to segue into this because I do want to talk about I I guess what I want to talk about is this movie and then its impact. Because Robocop was basically the same idea right this vision of America descend like coping with its poverty by descending into authoritarianism you know and like District B13 was kind of like that way. And it's it's it's this very unique uh kind of I'm not sure how you would call it I have been calling it whimsical dystopia because I mean like yeah it's dystopian but it's fucking cool like it's it's a it's the kind of dystopia where humans are solving their problems with increasingly cooler shit. Like do I want to live in a world where Manhattan is a single supermax prison and everyone who commits any offense gets sent there? No. Is that cooler than some dystopias? Yes like I'm saying like I don't I don't want to live in the RoboCop world but if I if it's a choice I'll fucking take Robocop over some over like what like fucking equilibrium.
SPEAKER_01Yeah that was what came to mind for me too but here's a question um how long do you think you would survive in New York from this movie?
SPEAKER_04Like you just get oh not long not long not long I am I I'm very honest with myself about these things. You don't necessarily have to like you know like scrap for like everything right you can just be charismatic and like take some stuff yeah like like like I did in I did it like the the opening line of this movie is like uh in Manhattan the only thing in Manhattan are inmates and the worlds they have created like that was very alluring to me because the because that's like the best part of this movie or one of the best parts is that it does have a a favorite of this podcast it has colorful themed gangs. And very much so like we we love that here like I'm sorry I'm sorry we love ourselves a colorful themed multi-ethnic gang my gosh my gosh indeed sir like like like I'm sorry like if I want to glaze anything I want to glaze just the the allure of a bunch of people from a different walk walks of life be like let's put our differences aside and let's put crimes together let's be let's be goons let's be goons yeah like I would love to honest uh the community I know I'm I am almost certain there is a comic book about this but like I would legitimately love to be in a gang no I was gonna say like a story about I was gonna say a story about goons you know like oh sure about like the the colorful the colorful henchmen yeah I guess that is us boys in the hood what next week on slop culture next week on slop on slop culture investigation
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_04Is boys in the hood just the Warriors? But less fun. But less because the Warrior, the Warriors is still the king of what I'm talking about, right? Like fucking themed gangs, fucking like you've got your killer mimes, you've got your fucking like the roller skating assholes. You got roller skating assholes. Like I love that. I love it when gangs have a thing.
SPEAKER_01There's even that one gang that's just like their whole vibe is just they suck.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the orphans are like the orphans. Like everyone's wearing them. They're wearing like little coveralls and like making themselves look deliberately fucking. Yeah, I'd rather not just not be in a gang at all than be with the like I would just like I would not join the orphans.
SPEAKER_01So if you were gonna found your own like colorful gang, like what would the scheme be?
SPEAKER_04I want you to think about this too because this is really good. Um I think I think, and this is just off the top of my head. I I reserve the right to change my mind. Yeah, I want to say we are like a gang with delusions of aristocracy. Okay, and our thing is that we wear like opera masks and uh like long coats and powdered wigs and shit. Ooh, powdered wigs, okay. You gotta do it.
SPEAKER_01And we we carry we carry on enemies.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. And like we're just there's just like a little we're just like a little ragged at the edges. Like our clothes are fine, but they're tattered and they're dirty. And like our opera masks are like cracked. Oh, we're wearing war paint underneath.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_04And like uh all our weapons are like the complete opposite, they're like gruesome takes on like popular opera weapons. So like we got rusty ass serrated spears and fucking like blades and shit, and we kind of look like we kind of look like an unruly crowd of theater goers, but like we'll we'll fucking we'll we'll end you, brother.
SPEAKER_01Damn, that's scary. What's the name of the gang? Oh, we are That's a good gang. I like that theme a lot, though. The greatest thing.
SPEAKER_04We are we are we are the patrons. Oh no, we are patronage. Patronage is our is our patronage is scarier.
SPEAKER_01That's on the city. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like, like, and we we we occupy the theater district, uh the arts district.
SPEAKER_01That's some like Batman Arkham fucking Arkham City, right?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's our fucking territory. That's our fucking territory.
SPEAKER_01You're like uh like a mini boss in that game.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you have to you have to kick my ass to get like not the not the McGuffin, but the thing will that will lead you to the McGuffin.
SPEAKER_01Like Yeah, you unlock like an extra like few slots for your explosive gel by defeating you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I I carry a rare upgrade, but I I might I myself am not uh like a fulcrum to this story. And that's my thing. That's that's my thing, is I'm a self-aware mini boss where I'm like where I'm like, yes, best me so that you may proceed. It's like I am standing in your way to properly. I'm a gatekeeper of this my like I'm being a complete asshole about it. It's like, yes, defeat me so that you can proceed along your journey in a satisfying procedural manner. Like, stop it. This is important, yeah. No, it is for sure. No, look at this. I'm carrying the key. That what do you think this key does, asshole?
SPEAKER_01Does it you have a lid and glowing?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like, oh, does it does it unlock an important door somewhere? You stupid cunt. And he's like, hey, hey, and I'm like, what?
SPEAKER_01What we're all trying to have a good time here.
SPEAKER_04He's like, listen, it's not that kind of fight. I'm like, oh, it isn't. I'm the mid-boss asshole. Like, this is the only chance I get. So, like, just give me this. It's like, okay, fine.
SPEAKER_01I got a whole theme, you know.
SPEAKER_04You like snap your fingers and the music starts playing, and you're like, see? Yeah, and like, and like I've got a chandelier. Like, okay, my my boss arena has like a chandelier that's constantly swinging and like dropping, and it's like shedding glass. Like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. And so, like, like as we're fighting, there's like a field of broken glass all under us. Dude, I like that a lot. That's a bummer. Dude, I talked myself into it. I'm I'm going in.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm I'm moving to New York and I'm gonna found a colorful gang of thespians.
SPEAKER_01All right, so I came up with my idea for my gang. We would be called the high rollers. Um, and the first part of it isn't that clever because we would just be smoking weed all the time. But the second part is fun because we would all we would constantly wear like suits with like like tailed coats, like classic tailed coats. But we'd also, you know, we're wearing our our dress shoes, you know, like the nice black leather dress shoes, like wingtips or whatever. But we all got them customized so they're heelys. Right, and we just we don't even we don't ever take a step, we just cruise, we just roll on our heels.
SPEAKER_04And like and like the streets of New York go deadly quiet whenever you guys come by, and like everyone just the wheels of our heel. The only sound is the wheels and like you dragging a pipe behind you. That's actually kind of scary, right? And you're and you're just like whistling a little, like you're just rolling down Broadway like dead of night, like fucking steam escaping from grates.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, there's like sparks flying off the back of everything as I drag it along. And you're just going like and then dozens and dozens of other people on Heelys like cruise out of the steam behind you.
SPEAKER_04Like you're when you catch uh someone who's wronged you, you destroy their heels as like you like break their ankles as as punishment.
SPEAKER_01Tell me I'm wrong though. Like, I think that dress heelys actually like that's got some legs to it. Dress healy's, right?
SPEAKER_04Are we talking so like when you say dress healys, are you envisioning something as simple as that?
SPEAKER_01Or are you envisioning like nice regular leather like wingtips or or burglaries? Like with spats as such. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, you could do spats if you're fucking Gladstone Gandhi.
SPEAKER_04I'm yeah, no, I'm I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I grew up watching DuckTales. I will always associate spats with wealth with wealth. Like spats are kind of legit, dude. Now you got to be able to get the battery. Like the the fact the fact that nobody wears spats anymore, it to my mind only makes them more wealthy. We start wearing spats. We absolutely should start wearing spats.
SPEAKER_01I'll add it to the list.
SPEAKER_04Like, like I I and in fact, I think we should wed our two ideas and become a gang called the Spats.
SPEAKER_01Oh, we got Heelys and Spats. Healy, Heelys and Spats. Dude, that might be too threatening.
SPEAKER_04Coming this summer from Sarah J. Moss, a song of wheelies and spats. What happens when a girl who wears heelys falls for a guy who wears spats? Like it's a movie, like you can't I forbid you to see that rolling whore. Dad, I love her!
SPEAKER_01Dude, something about fucking Heelys just He ain't like us, girl, he wears spats. Imagine if we manage to get a contract with like the United States Marine Corps.
SPEAKER_04When I think of tactical Heelys, the only thing I think of is like a Marine, a Marine like shooting his AK, and like the force of the AK sends him propelling backwards.
SPEAKER_01I'm just imagining like our the might like the hammer of our armed forces just like cruising down some sand dunes.
SPEAKER_04I want a whole fucking like crime thriller starring John Krasinski about this. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And he's like the the guy who's like he's like the one on Heelys.
SPEAKER_04He's the one on Heelys, and he's just doing all these fucking amazing stunts on that would actually be kind of sick, dude.
SPEAKER_01Like, there's an enemy. There's an enemy who also uses Heelys.
SPEAKER_04Okay, who plays his like counterpart who's like um who's a good foil to Jim Krasinski? I don't think Crat Pratt has it in him.
SPEAKER_01He has it in him to be you don't think Chris Chris Pratt has it in him to be the villain with Heelys, the hero with Heelys, yeah, that's one thing. But the villain with Heelys, you know, Chris Pratt's got some burliness to him, right?
SPEAKER_04I got it kind of makes me think of that. Chris Pratt strikes me as the same kind of villain that's like the jock bully in a high school movie. It's like it's like, wait what's up, nerd? Oh, you're gonna be you're gonna be king under the sea? No way, buddy. That's me. In fact, I would I would love an entire high school movie where just Chris Pratt is the is like the bully, and like every he's like very obviously in his late 40s, and everyone else is a teenager and nobody talks about it. I so there's there's one thing I I want to share this because this is the most important part to me of this movie. Um there are there are these scenes in this movie where John Carpenter trusts his self himself. And there are scenes in this movie where John Carpenter does not trust himself.
SPEAKER_02Okay. I think that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_04And we discussed we just we discussed this a little at the start, and I'm gonna try to marry this to the idea that these are sort of scenes that are not quite connected. Like um like we talked about, there's these there's these great scenes that are ultra fucking tense. Like when Snake Pliskin goes into the underground. Right. And it's like this this like destroyed apartment building.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like turbo for like a pretty bad place. I wouldn't want to lie.
SPEAKER_04And it's and like underground, there's like fires burning, and it's all shadows and red light, and it looks like hell, and they're like just degenerate, like strung out, hopeless people. I loved it. I loved it. Like when like there's a reason the fucking thing is a classic, right? Like John Carpenter has horror fucking well, he's got a great I idea for what makes people scary. Oh yeah. Like, you know, he people push to for breaking. That's scary. Yeah. Yeah, and so I love it when he does these scenes where he just trusts himself and goes with what he what he thinks is fucking scary. As opposed to throwing it all out, and yeah, and then there are some of these scenes that uh they don't really contribute that much. Uh there's just these uh lengthy scenes of like, you know, uh Kurt Russell gets uh he gets debriefed on what he needs to do, and then he gets told you're gonna take this little glider into New York and you're gonna land on top of the World Trade Center, uh, and then you're gonna make your way out from there. A really good way to do that, and like I just want to talk about this. Uh we've mentioned the the idea of like economy in storytelling, right?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_04And economy just means how are you spacing, how are you uh putting your scenes together and what effect is that making. Uh and I think uh sorry, I I had to turn down my gain a little.
SPEAKER_01Um you're good. I was just thinking, like, and I'm gonna say I couldn't like not say it, but like this is probably this movie is probably like the first and last time that like a plane is interacted positively with the World Trade Center.
SPEAKER_04You know what? I'm actually gonna let you walk away with that. I'm gonna let you do that. I believe humor is a great way to cope with tragedy, and I think I think there's room for a little dark humor here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like I might have to delete this. I'll let you to tell me whether or not like fuck.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you you will have to delete that because we will we will one day take money from them.
SPEAKER_01So but yes, I and obviously we all feel the same way, but um, but yeah, do delete that because we we don't worry, I'm gonna delete enough of it that like the audience won't know who I was talking about, but everything else will be in it.
SPEAKER_04If you can figure out how to do like bleeps, yeah, I think I'm gonna try that this week.
SPEAKER_01I'll make that apparently.
SPEAKER_04I know what you did. Like that that makes it funny. That makes it funny.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then I can beep out random words too, so I can make it so you're just doing hate speech casually.
SPEAKER_04So so economy of storytelling is just arranging to maximum effect. That effect can be a lot of things. That effect can be to impart information, that effect can be to uh uh what am I trying to say? That can be to like add drama or atmosphere. But uh one thing I noticed is the scenes where like they they go on for just a little too long and do things that aren't really interesting. And we talked about this with uh Kroll, you know uh how Kroll would show you like a lot of like trying to catch the horse and then like maybe the fire mares, yeah, and then like and then like maybe a few seconds of actually riding the horse, right?
SPEAKER_01Okay, this is a good comparison. Yeah, I know what you mean.
SPEAKER_04Like you could have done something where like the debriefing and snake flying to uh New York are like combined the two a little bit. You could have combined them where it's drifting in out. And fucking uh a movie that did that really well, like expertly well, was King Arthur, but like, and you could have trimmed a lot of the like in the uh bit where Snake Pliskin is flying in, he's like you see him walking down the runway, you see him like passing these guards, you see him like settling in. It's like a lot of stuff that's like a little bit of yoga, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He does yeah, he like stretches a little bit, he like pulls his leg up here. It just goes to show you kids, kids, impressionable kids. If you're listening here, people who say winners do drugs, that's a fucking lie. That is a fucking lie. Many winners do drugs. Shit. In fact, many do drugs. Many people win because they did drugs.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Barry Bonds, dude. And you know what? Barry Bonds mashed some fucking homers.
SPEAKER_04Barry Bonds mashed some homers. Uh do we know about the steroids? Yes. Can he hit a ball far? Yes. Lance Armstrong. If we thought bike riding was more impressive, we would have excused it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, like the thing is like bike riding is one of those like sports where like the the ratio of like physical challenge and like the amount of work you have to put into it compared to how badass it is is like oh yeah, non-famous. No, it's hard as fuck, but it just doesn't look that way.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like if you expend that amount of effortass. Yeah, if you expend that amount of effort into anything else, it's instantly impressive.
SPEAKER_01If it's bicycling, it's like, okay, fuck off. Yeah, but like and bicycling is like hard as fuck, but at the same time, you know, like make bicycling more badass, I guess, is like the question.
SPEAKER_04Well, I like it when they crash, so I just say make it I say make it like NASCAR, like like advertise the crashes. Advertise the crashes. Yeah, we I like like I'm a hockey guy, I really like hockey.
SPEAKER_01You see, you think like I love fights, like you imagine the Tour de France, like the two bicyclists just pull over to the side of the road to a pist fight.
SPEAKER_04That would be awesome. Hear me out and tell me if I'm wrong. When we were all in on Lance Armstrong, we didn't fucking care.
SPEAKER_01I still am, right?
SPEAKER_04I'm I'm still live strong.
SPEAKER_01I was about to say, I still wear a live strong band, bro.
SPEAKER_04Some of us never stopped living strong.
SPEAKER_01Uh but I'm saying shout out Lance though, you're a fucking real one, man.
SPEAKER_04If you ever want to come on the pod, like Lance Armstrong, you have a standing invitation to slop to slop culture. Tell us what movie. Tell us what movie you want to talk about. Kurt Rosalie. Yeah. Well, no, but but like but like hear me out here. Hear me out. Okay. When everyone all right, let's just put it this way. I'm sorry, like it just it just fucking hit me that you are choosing to fucking be a diehard stand to Lance Armstrong. Oh yeah. Just just the absurdity of I had very specific choices. But we didn't we did not care about bicycling, we cared that an American was beating French people. Like we liked that. Yeah, in their own fucking tour de fucking America. Oh tour d'America! That's the thing, is we gotta do a tour d'America where you just get like attacked by wildlife.
SPEAKER_01I mean, if we were in like a like a like a wildlife type scenario, like if we get dropped off in like Alaska and we had to survive during like uh you know the summer slash fall, so we're not gonna freeze to death. I think the two of us could do it. Like, I think one of us would probably die, but like it would probably be like a preventable accident.
SPEAKER_04You know what? I've I've watched a couple of episodes of Alone, so I feel like I I wouldn't be going in blind, but I also you know, like I'm not I'm no outdoor boys here. Uh like I'm not quite sure what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, fucking outdoor boys, great channel. Um outdoor boys, if you want to be if you want to come on our podcast with Lance Armstrong. Yeah, you're a fucking legend. You guys are both legends. I think it would be like you have a really interesting kind of rapport. Um love both your content. Um hope that you guys are enjoying retirement.
SPEAKER_04I think maybe I I'm gonna I'm gonna try to wrap up what I'm trying to say about. So here's the most so when we talked about Kroll, I used the term uh creative whale fall.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, which was an excellent way of putting it.
SPEAKER_04Which I liked it, and I'm sorry, uh, I'm gonna use it again because the most interesting part about this movie for me uh was what you told me before we watched this movie, which was that this movie was the inspiration for a lot of uh Metal Gear Solid. Yes, Hideo Kajima, directed by Heidegger Hideo Kajima. And you know me, I'm I'm a I'm a I'm a bit I'm a big gamer guy, I like games, uh and I view them as art, so I like knowing uh where they come from, what inspires them, and so forth.
SPEAKER_01And you can see the to be fair to be I gotta call you out on this. You and audience, you gotta keep Sam honest here. He has not played through any of the Metal Gear Solid games thus far. Look, I it's not like you need to play through all of them, but uh between you and me, audience. Between you and me, Sam, do your do your earmuffs. Between you and me, I think that Sam would have a great time playing them just because the plots are so fucking insane. I think he would have a good time with it.
SPEAKER_04I will I I will be real. I will I will come I will come to Jesus right now. Okay, and I will s and I will say I will come to Ko Jesus. I do need to play more Kojima games.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I can recommend. It's not like you need to like play they're all good, but it's not like you need to play through all of them. There's a couple that are kind of musts. I don't know if it really counts, but I did play PT and I love I wish I had, man. I uh that was so fun. That was such that was such a great experience, PT. Um and then Konami was just like, you know what we don't like is money.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's like no, no, no. I don't care for art. I don't care for art. I don't care for this genius. You know what is interesting though is that is that Konami was ahead of the curve where the because a lot of companies now say, no, I don't want anything new and artistic, I want something yeah mass marketable.
SPEAKER_01Dude, Capcom. Shouts out to Capcom. Dragmata. Resident Evil 9. All the Resident Evil remasters, they've been on just like such a fucking heater streak. Monster Wilds was Monster Hunter Wilds was still pretty good, guys. Yeah, PC performance apparently not super great, but not so great personally.
SPEAKER_04All right, but but like so so all right, here's what Hideo Kojima, you can see the influence from this on from this, and like to me, that's what's really important, and indeed my favorite part about this movie is because Hideo Kojima is like one of the patron saints of gaming, you know, like he is constantly pushing out games that do different things, and like here in this here in on this podcast, we really appreciate creative risk and we really appreciate the unorthodox, and he's fucking unorthodox.
SPEAKER_01Very much so.
SPEAKER_04Uh and it is very cool because you can look at at Escape from New York and see the parts that uh inspired him. And to me, I'm sorry, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get a little artsy fartsy. Like I told you, I was very surprised at how much artistic critique I found in this movie.
SPEAKER_01Uh, fucking water real quick, but yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna ramble while you do that. So It's just one of these great things about art is that art is agnostic. And like I've heard a lot of people say, like, oh, you know, like I'm well, it's like it's like nobody is just a gamer or just a reader or just a moviegoer, right? Everyone does all of those things. Everyone plays a game, reads a book, watches a movie. Everyone touches on multimediums throughout multimedia. There you go. Um throughout their lives. And it is just very cool to see this movie influence a game maker who I really like. To me, that's a little like uh history. That's art that's art history. And it's not something we think of as art history because you know it's not Renaissance paintings or anything, but like, no, that is legitimate art history where Hideo Kojima came from. And like I think I think I wanna I I wanna boil it down to this. If Escape from New York could inspire Hideo Kajima, who would go on to make a lot of very unique and interesting games, yeah, it is very worth considering what you could see just in in the course of your life that could inspire you, and where that inspiration could take you. And I know that sounds super artsy fartsy.
SPEAKER_01I was about to say, Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_04It does it does sound super artsy fartsy, but this is an artsy fartsy podcast sometimes. And like sometimes. It's sometimes it's more artsy and sometimes it's more fartsy, but uh well you know I'm saying, but I'm go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, no, keep going.
SPEAKER_04You know, but you know who you know who else was more artsy than fartsy.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, he was a little artsy and he.
SPEAKER_04I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you. I want to send you to New York. I want to lock you in fucking New York, dude. I want to lock you in Manhattan. I'm the only one there. And I I just want you to be there by yourself. And I want and I want to and I want to like covertly film you the entire time. Man, I will I will let a series of animals in there.
SPEAKER_01Okay, see, there's a few ways this could go. A lot of it depends on one, your tolerance for just seeing me masturbate in weird places, and two, what kind of animals you're releasing there. Because look, if I get unleashed in New York City, there's nobody else there. I don't even know I'm being fucking filmed. Like, yeah, I'm gonna be busting nuts in some crazy locales. Can I can I I I want to share something really stupid.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Uh, did you see the first X-Men movie with uh Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen?
SPEAKER_00Um yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, do you know uh the end scene where it had X-1?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it was.
SPEAKER_04That was X1. X-1 ends with Magneto in his plastic cube and like it's suspended out in the middle of nowhere.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And you see there's an observation deck where do you want to play some of this? Yeah, yeah. But but like there's there's there's an observation deck where people are just monitoring Magneto, and like you see why he's a dangerous supervillain, right? But like just put yourself in the shoes of Magneto. Yeah, you're on you're under 24-7 observation in a transparent cube. You have nothing to do except play chess when someone visits you and you don't get visitors that often. How long do you abstain from jerking it?
SPEAKER_01Two, three minutes.
SPEAKER_04Like, how long like at like and do you just like do you just like challenge the observers? You're like, listen.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'll say this. You remember last week when we talked about sliming?
SPEAKER_03I hate you back to New York.
SPEAKER_01I think that's where if I was in like a magneto type scenario, yeah, I'd I'd be sliming Charles. Hey Charles, how about you suck down this cup full of my cum chol?
SPEAKER_04So just on why would Magneto I'm I'm just picturing silence of the lambs, where like that one dude throws one dude throws his jizz at Jody Foster. Except it's Patrick Stewart. My word. Oh no, that's George Decay. George Decay here. Good lord. Is that your is is that your Jism?
SPEAKER_01Jism. Shouts out to like people who use the word Jism. It's that's dementia. Keep it up.
SPEAKER_04Shout out, shout out to people who use the word Jism. Seed is a good one. Seed is fucking demented too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Uh seed is good. Um mortal spawn. That's a nice mortal spawn.
SPEAKER_01God damn.
SPEAKER_04I find it I find I get more uncomfortable like the more cutesy it gets. Like if you call it baby, baby batter, I'm like, no, thank you.
SPEAKER_01There's a guy I was playing Battlefield with last night whose name was um what was it? What's up?
SPEAKER_04Uh just just go on. Just go on. I fucking I fucking hate this show. I fucking hate what we do. Just fucking go. I'm fucking I am fucking in the deer hunter right now. Where we are Russian relaying excess. It's just every fucking story. It's like me figuring out what is this story, how is this going to end in cum? Alright, go on, go on. I'm sorry for interrupting.
SPEAKER_02What was the guy?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I got I got distracted and forgot what the the guy's name was, but that's not the main point of the story. Main point of the story is this one dude we were playing with had gotten like dumped by his girlfriend of four years, like uh the day before, right? And I like finally figured out by Googling, it's a very basic Google, how to do like text chat on Battlefield using my PlayStation, which takes a little while to like type stuff out, but like sure, yeah. Not the idea, not the ideal. But this guy's venting a little bit, he's just like, Yeah, it just like got dumped, and you know, my friend who I'm playing with, um you know, hops on the chat and is like, Oh, like damn, sorry to hear that. Like, how long? It's like four years. You know, I hop on, we're like and talking to him, yeah, you know, and just keep your chin up, King, like etc. etc. Yeah, you know, and even people on the other team are like hopping in on it, right? Oh just like, hey man, like you got this, etc. Right, and then one guy comes in and very accurately he says, like, damn, this ain't the modern warfare two days anymore. And um and then I couldn't resist just saying, like, oh shit, my mic's been off. I've been shouting slurs the whole time. I yeah, because like I don't know, I thought that was really nice because like no, to be fair, like back in the modern warfare like two days.
SPEAKER_04I don't know if you ever played Modern Warfare 2, but like No, uh, because I know what the Modern Warfare 2 days are like. Like, I fucking I did not in like I don't fucking like playing with other people.
SPEAKER_01Dude, that shit was formative for me back in like high school. Like, it wasn't Modern Warfare 1, it wasn't Modern Warfare 3, it was Modern Warfare 2 specifically. It was like that's where champions were made, and I don't mean in like an in play sense, I mean in a sense of like people just saying the most horrific shit imaginable to you.
SPEAKER_04So like I just want to I just want to bring this to your attention.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04In the past five minutes, you have shared both that like you your formative years were in a very toxic environment, and that you would throw jism on Patrick Stewart. Do you think do you think that's well I'm just saying, I'm just saying, like, do you think maybe these are related?
SPEAKER_01Almost certainly, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I mean Yeah, okay. Uh tell you what, I feel like I've said almost I feel like we've we've been going on for a bit, and I feel like uh I've said as much as I can about this. Uh I do want to point out though, that story you just shared. I really like that. And I find that uh, at least among some dudes, it is actually a lot easier to open up while you're playing a video game.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and like I was keeping mind, I'm terrible at battlefield, I was getting headshot constantly, but that makes it easier for me to type stuff because like between lives, I'd be hopping on and like tapping out a message on the fucking virtual keyboard. But yeah, I thought I thought it was it like kind of I wouldn't say it made my night, but it warmed my heart a little bit.
SPEAKER_04You know, yeah, that's wonderful. It's wonderful to be a part of that. And yeah, also getting headshot all the time is the other reason why I don't play FPS. I'm fucking terrible. Like I can't enjoy Overwatch for that reason because either I'm better than everyone and I feel like I'm being held back, or I'm worse than everyone and I feel like I'm holding them back, and like I just can't enjoy it.
SPEAKER_01Like the only thing I was ever good at in Overwatch was either playing junk rat and just like putting down bear traps and shit and annoying. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like like I I I had a very pro junk rat. No, not so much. That was fun. I I had a great junk rat game.
SPEAKER_01And then uh I played the only thing I was actually like good at was playing healer, which like I got bored with because like you're useful, but at the same time, like if you fuck up, everyone's mad at you, and also shoot people. Yeah, no, it's just like running around behind someone else.
SPEAKER_04Like, yeah. No, I'm I'm just not into it. Like, I will I I love first person shooters, I just don't like fucking uh team shooters.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but yeah, go ahead. Uh I was just gonna say no, you go you go, you go you go, yo, you go you Gio. Okay, I was gonna I was gonna say um we only briefly talked about it this week, but that game uh mouse um PI for high playing more of that incredible animation work. Is it fun? Uh yeah, it's fun. And I generally like I I'm okay with boomer shooters, like you know, that type of genre, but I don't love them. But this one is really kind of it's got its hooks in me a little bit. Well, like it's a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_04It it's always worth it, in my opinion, to support a game that's doing something different.
SPEAKER_01Very cool animation. I fucking love it.
SPEAKER_04I loved Cuphead and I fucking love this for the same reason.
SPEAKER_01That game like took me out back and like beat the shit out of me, and then like smeared Cuphead like smeared my blood across my lips like lipstick and then told me I looked pretty when I was afraid. You know, like it was that kind of experience for me. So I didn't beat it. Oh my gosh. I I did beat it.
SPEAKER_04I did beat it.
SPEAKER_01What the fuck? I didn't know you had that kind of like ball knowledge.
SPEAKER_04I got I got fucking well. I used to play Gunstar Heroes a lot, and I fucking classic, dude.
SPEAKER_01That's a that was a fun ass game. That was uh Oh my god, that was Genesis. That was Genesis, bro. I played Gunstar Superheroes, I think the season. Yeah, I think it was the same game, or at least close to the game. It was like a reboot that I played, but yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but no, I played on the Genesis. I was I I am pretty good at platformers, I will say. Like decent at platformers, king at RPGs, always making the best choices. Do you have anything else you want to say about uh fucking uh escape from New York?
SPEAKER_01Um, let's see. Oh, yeah, there was like one like particular thing I wanted to call out, which was um, well, one generally speaking, the set design was great, but two, I really appreciated, and you know, you said earlier it had kind of like a community theater kind of yeah, but you you know what you said it in like a complimentary way, at least that's the way I took it. And yeah, and to like speaking to that, you know, uh, I think I texted you about it, that scene where um Snake is like cruising in on the glider. Yeah, yeah. Um, and it shows you know, like he's looking in on this little screen inside the glider to like look at the city, and there's all these like green, like glowing grid outlines. Like uh I love that. I love that.
SPEAKER_04That fucking early, early 80s fucking computer generated.
SPEAKER_01But that's the thing, is it wasn't computer generated. Those were like just yeah, those were models that they put glow-in-the-dark tape on.
SPEAKER_04That rules, I mean, fuck it. That's how cool is that, right? That's just that's what CGI took from us is like that fucking beautiful, like, how the fuck do we do this? Like the fucking the fucking MacGyverism.
SPEAKER_01Those classic, like neon grid type visuals, yeah, but they did it all practically, and that to me is so insanely cool. Yeah, fucking alien.
SPEAKER_04That's the other, that's the other fucking uh dystopia that fits this idea, you know, like that fucking that 80s style chunky dystopia. That's what it's true. Chunky, chunky.
SPEAKER_01Well, anyways. Uh that was my main um my main thought there. Um oh damn, this was in my notes, but like I totally fucked this up because I uh said like in all caps, note to self exclusively refer to Donald Pleasance as DP. If Sam brings it up, act like he's the weird one.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, no, you fucked that up. I I'm sorry, audience. You were you were audience, you were denied one of the funniest jokes that could have ever been.
SPEAKER_01I mean, that's like an ongoing kind of instead.
SPEAKER_04We just talked about hurling jizz at Patrick Stewart.
SPEAKER_01And then uh wow, I had some fun notes for this one. I wish movies like this could get made these days. We need more cocaine-fueled executives who are a bit too profligate with their funds. Hollywood debauchery used to be fucking fun. Now it's all pederasty and lube in the walls. What happened to America? Sorry, you were saying lube in the walls. Shout out Diddy. See you at the crossroads, brother. Oh my god. I'm I'm this has been slop culture.
SPEAKER_04Uh no, like I I I feel like we have covered basically all of it.
SPEAKER_01We've covered some good ground here.
SPEAKER_04Now I am happy. I would I would uh are if if with your permission, I think maybe you want to talk about uh what uh what what movie are we watching next week?
SPEAKER_01Well, we had discussed it and uh hand up like uh you know ten toes down, hand on a bible. I totally forgot what the fuck it was.
SPEAKER_04Um I will tell you right now, actually. Okay. Um actually, do you want to cut this? I'll remind you, and then you can just uh you'll cut this part.
SPEAKER_01I mean uh we're we might keep it in, depending on how it flows. We'll see. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Well we're gonna watch we're gonna watch the magnificent seven starring.
SPEAKER_01Yes, so next week we'll be watching uh the magnificent seven starring uh Sir Christopher Pratt, uh Duke Ethan Hawke, and uh I guess like five other guys, probably.
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah, what do you know what one of the school is? Sir Denzel. Sir Denzel. Ow!
SPEAKER_01Man, imagine just like his character from the equalizer showing up and that would be horrifying.
SPEAKER_04Look, Chris Pratt's character just getting like increasingly terrified.
SPEAKER_01Like yeah, it's just like what the fuck?
SPEAKER_04Like Denzel like Denzel is just like singing the blues as he's like dismembering a guy. Like, oh god, oh god. Chris Pratt's like, stop rolling, stop rolling, and then he like realizes there's no cameras in this.
SPEAKER_01There's never been any cameras, it's just him and Denzel.
SPEAKER_04Denzel asked if he wanted to work on a project and if they went behind he meant a movie.
SPEAKER_01But it's just building this giant mountain of human scalps.
SPEAKER_04Just fucking building like a corpse tree. We're gonna watch the Magnificent Seven. Yep. Starring Chris Pratt and I it must be pointed out, a multi-ethnic band of do-gooders. So we love those. We love it the other way too. Will, would you please do a little housekeeping?
SPEAKER_01Yes, sir. Uh Slop Culture is a podcast hosted by Sam Sykes, that's him, and Will Palmer, that's me. Uh, please give us a five-star review on whatever platform you heard us on. That's five stars out of five, ideally. If they do ten, do ten, you know. Um our cover art is by Andrew Sides, and our intro music is by Joe Roy. You can get in touch with the podcast at Slopculturepodcast at gmail.com. And uh on social media, you can find me at Palmskis or Will underscore Palmskis pretty much everywhere.
SPEAKER_04You can find me at Sam Psyches Swears pretty much everywhere. This has been Slop Culture, the happy hour podcast, where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity. And until we see you next week, stay sloppy.