The Meg - This T-Rex Is Just Too Comfortable With His Body

Today, Will and Sam enjoy a monster movie for a new era. Jason Statham turns in a mostly-hairless performance as a deep sea rescue specialist hired by a multinational team of scientists to dive to the bottom of the ocean and punch the hell out of some sea life. And speaking of deep dives, we finally get to the bottom of why the nation of Japan is so pissed at Joe Jonas.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

How many classically trained British actors do you think it would take to defeat a large seagoing predator such as a shark, a walrus, or an orca? Ten Ian McKellans? Twenty Michael Keynes? Or just one Anthony Hopkins with an Adderall prescription and a two hundred dollar gift card to Home Depot? Welcome to Slop Culture. Today we're talking about the Meg, starring Jason Statham. Welcome to Slop Culture, the happy hour podcast where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity. I am your host, Sam Sykes, and with me, as always, a man who once audaciously claimed responsibility for Pedro Pascal's career and told us he'd do it again if we weren't careful. It's quilt Palmer, everybody.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Well, I thought that there was like a lack of kind of Grecian tragedy in modern Hollywood. And so I thought it was time to, you know, use the world as my canvas and paint a tale for the ages, using our friend Pedro as uh, you know, the brush and the paint.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

This this is this is news to many of us, including me, and including, I imagine, Pedro Pascal. Unless you're saying he was in on this.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

And like No, well, he was he was in on it in the same way that like um I guess Paris was involved in uh the Trojan War, right? He was merely a plaything for greater powers.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

Oh wow. God, I and I'll also I'm sorry. Like this is uh this in this podcast is a lot about a lot of things, but it's also about men supporting men. A little a little a little positive masculinity. I'm going to I'm going to give you some props there. Yeah. That is a deep cut. That is that is a the Trojan War. My good like well done. Well done. Like, I I I did appreciate that, but yeah. I'm also I I like I'm amused both ways. Like, I would also love to love it if Pedro Pascal just said, like, make me an instrument of your vengeance. And Uve Ball is like, uh yes, I Pedro Pascal. If you're out there, please, please do an Uve Ball movie. Yeah, redemption is for everyone. He's Pedro Pascal. You've been in one pretty successful adaptation of a pretty successful video game. Hear me out. Just to really compete the Ouvre, the Ouvre, sorry. What if you were in a shitty adaptation about a shitty video game? Like uh I don't know. Like, what if you were Qbert? Like, could you bring some gravitas to Kubert? Like, just all right, just bear with me. But like, like Pedro Pascal in like uh in like Anendorf in the new Zelda movie.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Ooh, could he pull it off? Could he pull it off? I don't know. I honestly don't know which is why it's such a thrilling hypothetical.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

Well, I mean you raise an interesting point. He's not really done a lot of uh villainous roles.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Uh yeah, I think he did in Wonder Woman 84.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

I haven't seen it, but yeah, but that was that was kind of a that was but again, he was uh he was the Paris there. He was not necessarily uh the big bad. He was he was the he was the pawn of greater powers.

SPEAKER_08 3:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

And like again, credit, because that's a great that's a that's great, dude. Because like the pair the Paris, that's yeah, that's that's like an actual dramatic role. Like that makes a lot of sense. Um but no, I don't but like you know, Ganendorf is the biggest bad. He's so like I would argue, I would argue that like you know, Bowser is probably the more recognizable one, but like Ganondorf is the biggest villain because Bowser isn't always a villain, right? Like sometimes they go and ride carts together.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Yes, they they do fun activities. You can see him doing paintball. You can't see Ganondorf doing paintball with Link.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

What do you what do you bring a real gun? Yeah, he brings a real gun to the range and he's just chasing Link around, shooting at him. Like Ganondorf is a fucking hater. Like a top-tier hater. He practices like like very very few of us can say our hater has constantly reincarnated at the same time we have reincarnated just in like a legendary cosmic battle. Yeah. So I I'm sorry, I just don't think Pedro Pascal could do Ganondorf.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Too sympathetic.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Too sympathetic. Plus, I said shitty adaptation of a shitty video game, and most Zelda games are pretty are pretty good. Even Skywalk, like Zelda is like pizza, like even a shitty, shitty Zelda game is still kind of fun, you know?

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Uh the worst video game, though. Alright. Um I think we need to go to like the Wii era where there's like a ton of fucking shovelware. Like Barbie's horse adventures. Raving Rabbids.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Raving Rabbids, like yeah, actually, I would I actually would like to see Pedro Pascal as Raven. Like a live action, like Raving Rabbids.

SPEAKER_03 5:12

Yeah, and I want, but I want it like Shakespearean. So like no CGI, they're all just and like no actual costumes. They're like Yeah, there's barely a set. There's barely a set. It's very interpretive, it's very bare bones, it's very artistic.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Like we're talking like this is an art house film. Somehow the budget is still in the hundreds of millions. The budget is still in the hundreds of millions, astronomical, and it's just it's impossible to just to explain where it went.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

Yeah, it actually bankrupts a small nation.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

But they don't mind because it's that good. Well, no, it's supposed to be bad.

SPEAKER_03 5:49

It's it I mean that would be that would be incredible if somehow Pedro Pascal's Uve Bull movie somehow wins an Oscar. Like they both get everything they want, and they're like, uh just leaves them empty inside. Like there's nothing the terrible price they paid to get there. Yeah. It just wasn't worth it. And that's and that's what made Pedro Pascal seek you out. He's like, this this only a world this befouled could give me such an honor for such an obscenity.

SPEAKER_05 6:28

Let it end, Palmer Son. And I look at him and I say, for a price.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

For a price. Name your price. Admit last of us part two wasn't that good. Never! You admit it. You admit that wasn't good. You admit right now the first season was better.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

No, never. Never like torture and suffer. I'm gonna be a dad wasn't a good lie.

SPEAKER_06 7:06

We should have reconsidered some aspects of this crap.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

We should have kept some of the severity of the tone. The flippancy really wasn't appropriate. It comes across very millennial optimistic coded.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

He gives this incredibly in-depth because I thought about this a lot.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

As he's being tortured, it's like and the themes of survival are separate from the themes of regrowth. Regrowth is a time for optimism, but the movie or the show atmospherically wasn't there yet.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

And Uve is actually so impressed that eventually he like raises him out.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

It's like night at Bald on Bald Mountain, where he's just this enormous creature, and Pedro Pascal is like dancing in his palm. We're doing a lot of mythologizing for Pedro. More often we seem to suggest strange occultist ritual association with various celebrities.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

Well, I mean, you know, it's plausible.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

It very much is. Uh uh, we're watching uh we watched a movie, a Jason Statham movie. We did. Um, and we are gonna get into that. But um, you know, as before when we were talking, before uh we we sometimes do a little bit of banter before uh we start recording, you know, just to get the energy up and uh sometimes we'll float something that we want to save for the actual episode. And we were talking about um Sharknado movies, because you know shark movies. There are a lot of them, that turns out and I recall that there was a Sharknado movie where they introduced the concept of zombies, kind of an episode. Because you'll recall after The Walking Dead, zombies were kind of everywhere, like honestly, like possibly maybe the vanguard of slop, like I think you could you could trace the era of slop that we are currently in to the to the popularity of zombies.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

A lot of it goes to the the AMC show, especially just because I don't know, like this is me getting a real deep cut with it, but I think that the network television broadcast nature of it naturally took out some of the better parts, some of the more fun parts of the comics. And they're not saying like fuck it fuck all the time. A lot of the hacker or like stranger um storylines uh were they're like done away with, or you know, like they fucking killed off Carl because they didn't want to like keep paying his actor. Like that's a fucking spoiler alert, but like that's insane. Like Carl like surviving a zombie apocalypse is like the core thrust of the entire fucking story. Like that's a ludicrous thing to do, right? And so I think that kind of people just took the wrong like, oh, it's about the zombies, and like, no, it's about what becomes to us with the zombies.

SPEAKER_03 10:24

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like a zombie flick, uh like at any zombie story, the zombies kind of by lack of their motivation, they kind of only have to be framing, you know. There's something there that needs to pressure uh the heroes and how the heroes act in response to it. That's what's interesting. Like in Sharknado. No, no, I was just bringing that up because I think it's Sharknado 4. And there's there's uh there's zombies, and there's a zombie George R. Martin, because at the same time this was happening, George was becoming a bit of a pop culture icon himself. Uh, you know, like Game of Game of Thrones was exploding. Uh he he was just all over the house. Uh he was in anybody's house. Now, a lot of people don't know this, but there was a period of American history where Game of Thrones was so successful that George R. R. Martin could literally demand entry to your house and you would get arrested if you refused.

unknown 11:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Sometimes you just see him at your window. Yeah, yeah. And he just sort of like he'd just sort of like tap a little, and that was what was worse, because you couldn't tell if he wanted in or if he was just doing that. Like but like, and then like you'd be like, all right, he's just doing that. And you go to another room, and then he'd like finally knock at the door, like, all right, fuck, come on in, George.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

And you go and you answer the door, and he's like looking away from you, and then it's just his head that spins 180 degrees.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Like an owl with a little sailor cap on.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

He made you come to the door just to see that. I learned a new trick.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

Hey, check this out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

I like this idea better than George R. Martin has a number of bodily oddities going on that he is horrifying the nation with. Yeah. It's it's like a situation where he like he wrote Game of Thrones so everyone would be forced to pay attention to him when he does that. He gets up at the Oscars to accept his award and does that. Everyone's like, ah god. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Oh, that doesn't look comfortable at all.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

It's not it's not, it's it's incredibly painful. Why do you keep doing it? Because vengeance for Pedro!

SPEAKER_02 13:04

He smashes the Oscar on the stage. He starts he has a breath weapon, starts breathing barks of flame into the air.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

But it's like fucking like like like old school 80s special effects. Yeah. Pedro's like, George, stop! George, stop! No, no, please, and then in his fury, George incinerates Pedro.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Damn, thereby destroying the object of his defensive tendencies and affection.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

Dude, I I really hate that we are basically establishing the you the UVA bull cinematic universe. But you know what? Uh, this is actually what I wanted to say about zombies and George R. Martin. Because in I think, and I think I'm recalling correctly, and I guess some Sharknado fan can call me out on this if they if they think I'm wrong. But I believe when he appears, it's just a cameo, and he's signing books as a zombie. Okay. And he's being fawned over by by some fangirls. Hell yeah. And and uh hell yeah, but also they they're still quite shapely. Okay. You know, I I don't want to be offensive, but they are quite shapely. Busty and it made a little busty, a little busty, you know, speaking objectively, busty. And it did make it. Well, I assume like the joke they're going for is like George R. R. Martin is a bit of a player. Like Yeah. But I was just wondering, like, if they were zombified, and I'm sorry, like I know this is gonna get a little gross. I think I might know where you're going, but yeah, yeah. But like how quick, how quick would the titties wither? Right. I feel like I feel like they'd go pretty quick, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Well, I think that's why um women with um enhancements might actually do better in like the if there was like a sexual kind of like culture in the zombie apocalypse amongst the zombies. They still had like a Playboy magazine or something, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:15

So if the zombies establish their own sex positive culture, right? Women within I Yeah, it is a ridiculous sentence to say, but I actually can see the logic you're going for.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Yeah, I think we can confidently say that's well, maybe humans are pretty demented. Maybe somebody has had this conversation before.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

That's that's true. That's true. Well, I mean you raise a good point. There's nothing that says the zombies would have the same beauty standards that we do, you know? Right. Maybe that is no like the rotting desiccated flesh. I gotta f well, yeah. I mean, I gotta feel though, like if you are and like I'm sorry for speculating on undead politics, but I gotta imagine that like because everyone rots, right? Everyone rots, like every zombie would slowly they don't have the ability to regenerate, uh, even though they are deathless, they can't recover themselves.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Right.

SPEAKER_03 16:09

Uh so you gotta assume they would all be withering. Ergo. People who are more well pre corpses that are more well preserved would probably be seen as higher effort and thus more exclusive. Okay. And thus they would probably be seen more as desirable, you know? Because like the beauty the the the beauty standard of at least some societies, is usually the less attainable form, you know, like Kim Kardashian is considered very attractive. Not a lot of not a lot of people look like Kim Kardashian, you know? Sure. I don't know how zombie Kim Kardashian would look, but I assume prop I I'm not gonna speculate. I can already feel like I'm I'm at the edge of the pool and I'm I'm spinning my arms a little.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

You look down and Jordan Peterson is looking back from under the water.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

I don't want to speak, you know, zombie. I do not want to put Dagon Jordan Peterson into this earth.

SPEAKER_04 17:10

Like I do not know these dark waters and hear them speak. Look within these dark waters. Uh you'll see that there's actually a lot of a lot of uh uh intention that goes into maintaining an orderly altar to the deep ones.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

Yeah, come on, I don't want to be lectured, just tell me about those goddamn land walkers.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

But like evolutionarily speaking, right? Like, didn't like you know, shout out Darwin, like, didn't like human beings like we know we go for like innately like characteristics that indicate like solid like reproductive capacity, right? Um so wouldn't the zombies be looking for people with like good jaw muscles and like right? Because the way the zombies reproduce is fucking bite and stuff. So maybe they find like a good mouthful of teeth really sexy. Or like maybe like some weeping sores that you can like.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Or like or like some or like some well-preserved leg muscles. Yeah, yeah. So like for for for running, for running uh depending on if it's a fast zombie or slow zombie situation.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Either way, you want to be able to, if you're a zombie, you want to be able to be, you know, have some alacrity to you.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

Yeah, yeah. Um but I'm at a crossroads here because you have you have two. I'll just say this, and then I'll move to the more interesting subject. Okay. I do think that being a fast zombie in a pack of vac of fast zombies must feel so fun. Like I know they're technically mindless. Yeah, but you're out front, they got the wind in your hair. Yeah, like ah like we're gonna get some dude. We're we're all gonna get some dudes, and like it's one of these co-op situations where it doesn't matter who gets like just so long as one of us gets some dudes, like we're all having fun together. We're all having fun, and then the second he's dead, we're just we're gonna be bored again, and like so we we live for these moments. Yeah, it's gotta be fun, but also like there's gotta be like an a hierarchy for undead, right? Like, I would love like I I say this about many things, and I do think it is like a genuinely good format, but like a the office style dialogue, but like about an undead horde or something. And like you've got a you've got kind of a well-meaning uh necromancer leading the whole thing, and that's your Michael Scott guy who's yeah, you got you've got like a sewn together guy for labor, but like his all his parts disagree with each other. Jim's like uh I think Jim is the vampire, but he's like he's like one of these modern, like low-key vampires.

SPEAKER_08 19:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

And like so, like he he he's one of these vampires does not have a lot of ambition aside from like getting with humans.

unknown 19:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

The ro the romance novel vampires, where like they are dead, they are dead, but it doesn't count.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

They don't have ambitions of vampire.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Yeah, yeah.

unknown 19:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

If the undead is hot enough, yes, you can fuck it. And it technically it technically doesn't count as necrophilia. We didn't make rules, dude. We didn't make the rules, that's just how it's been since forever. Like that that was the entire point of dra of Dracula.

SPEAKER_06 20:15

Dracula Dracula.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

Dracula. I gotta say, like, one of my one of my very dumbest things that I love is when people use Dracula and Vampire interchangeably.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

Like, oh, that's Dracula! I'm just imagining Dracula, it's just Dracula, but he's obsessed with trains.

SPEAKER_06 20:36

Oh no, it's Dracula.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

It's Dracula. Like he's he's out there like using his powers to beguile young women and then forcing them to come back to go to the train museum with the city. Forcing them to come back to his castle and then downstairs basement, and they have they have to give their opinion on his on his latest diorama.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

Yeah, he's building out like a one or like a 180 to one scale or whatever, like a version of Velachia.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

I got I gotta be I gotta be real though. Like you are slowly talking me into thinking Dracula would be like a lot of fun to hang out with. I would chill with Dracula. It's just trains. Yeah, yeah. Like he like he he doesn't seem to want to feed on humans, like he seems to feed off like just just his pure passion for for trains. Yeah, and like I could see that, I could see that being like a fun evening. Maybe not a lifetime, and maybe this is where his vampiric nature comes in, is like if he really enjoys hanging out with you, he turns you into a vampire. Another thing turns you into a train, but yeah, turns you into a train, that's also pretty bad. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be a train anthropological. Because like I see now I'm talking I'm talking myself back out of it because like I would love to hang out with Dracula for like an evening. And like if there was if there were so if there were some impossible way. That Dracula had varied interests, and like Dracula, and like Dracula and I could go out for a beer or something, then yes, I would hang out with Dracula. But there's just no way that's possible because he subsists purely off his passion for trains. So of course, trains are what he's all about. Like so that it would end badly. You know, even for this podcast, that's kind of that this this is a bit off the beaten path. Like wheel and jeep and got us into the yeah, like this is a happy hour podcast, and like we like the meandering is a feature, not a bug. Like we are literally just sitting here drinking and talking about shit and drifting from topic to topic.

unknown 22:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Not unlike how uh tourists in the South China Sea would drift on rafts while partying shortly before they are attacked by a giant shark. Prehistoric shark, yeah. Which is what which is at something that happens in the movie we're about to talk about. And I I I gotta give us credit. We did avoid talking about ghosts, but I gotta say we didn't go that far. We didn't go that far. It was it was on the menu with the colour. Like, like, like, yeah, we we drifted into undead. We're we're we're gonna make it up in the back half. It's gonna, it's it's all gonna come together, coach. Yeah. Uh stick it out, audience. So I believe I uh I believe I recommended the Meg. So are you are you prepared, is what I'm saying, to uh try to summarize this in two minutes, which is the other feature of this podcast where we don't uh check, we don't we don't recap, we just out we just do two minutes to do an artistic interpretation of the plot. Are you ready, sir? Yep, let's do it. And three, two, one, go.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Alright. Uh in this world, Jason Statham is in his aqua statum form. So his powers are doubled. Um he's he's uh also a rescue diver of some sort, and at the very beginning of the movie, he fucks up and well not really fucks up, he like ejects the escape pod and leaves some people behind, but like he kinda had to. He gets blamed for it. Five years later, his ex-wife is doing some submarine shit and she gets attacked by a giant fucking shark. So uh Cliff Curtis finds Jason Statham in Thailand and is like, yeah, you gotta help us save your ex-wife, and he's like, alright. And uh he goes and like goes to Thailand to save the ex-wife underwater. And uh in the process, he goes to this giant like oil drilling rig where they were experimenting with shit in the Mariana's trench. And they're like, Okay, I opened a portal to like the prehistoric underzone and some giant sharks swam out. He rescues his ex-wife and works with like one of the Chinese scientists who's in the boat or in the oil rig, as well as the uh team of scientists and other folks in the oil rig to try to fight and kill the giant fucking uh shark. Um shockingly they do giant kill the giant shark about like an hour into the movie by injecting it with a shit ton of like fentanyl or something. And um then they take its corpse and like hang it from a boat and everyone's like, woo! But then a second megalodon jumps out of the water and eats the first megalodon. And it goes and terrorizes a bunch of people at a giant beach in China. And um then, you know, the crew uh slowly is like sacrificing themselves, distracting the Meg, and then eventually Jason Statham and uh the head Chinese scientists, I guess the head Chinese scientist's daughter is also a scientist. Uh they manage to like fight and uh dispatch the giant shark with some crazy underwater submersible tricks. Um Let's see. After doing that, um the bunch of uh smaller sharks come and eat the the bigger shark. Um as they've like Jason Statham is like gutted it by using the fins on one of his giant uh submersible things.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Woo!

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Um there are characters in this movie, as much as I skipped over them. Um there's the ex-wife, there's the scientist, there's a scientist's daughter, there's Rainbow Billionaire. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

I think those those are those are pretty much all the important characters. Jason Statham, ex-wife, billionaire, scientist, and scientist daughter. Like those are the only characters with like actual decision-making power. And I guess the scientist daughter's daughter is there in the mix as well, but she doesn't do much. Yeah, no, she she mostly exists to give a few cute one-liners.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

And make a trailer shot work, where she has like her little like remote control, like ball toy that she's rolling around in the underwater facility, like, oh, and then boom, short.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

Also, the Japanese guy from Heroes is in this movie. Oh shit. Uh, but he he gets he gets megged. He yeah, he's he's the other scientist. He gets megged almost immediately. He gets megged pretty quick. I I felt that was a pretty good uh uh encapsulation of what you did there. Thanks, uh, I would I would I really enjoyed prehistoric underzone.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Yeah, because I couldn't think of a better way to put it.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

That that sounds like fucking something from like a 90s kids cartoon. Like Davy Martin was a was uh Davy Martin was a normal kid just like you until he fell into the until he fell into the prehistoric underzone, and now he got Meg.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

I mean that's a short show, right? It's just like a 12-year-old getting eaten by a shark.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

I feel that would be like actually like I don't know. I that that's like a sh a horror short that's like possibly stupid and pot well no, never mind. I'm I take it back uh on TikTok. Well, on TikTok, there are these people that do analog horror of dinosaurs, and it's actually like pretty effective.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

Uh like uh a lot of it depends on like the sound effects, too. You know how like T-Rexes really just went like that's creepier, that's creepier than roaring, I think. What if the T-Rex just went like or if he just came out of the fucking trees like where's my hug? Where's my hug with his little arms? His little arms, you gotta get close.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

You gotta what if he knew you the arms were creepy, and so he just like fucks with you all the time, you're like flailing his little arms, like woohoo! Like he's like, they almost look like really long nipples, don't they? Yeah, like stop it, stop it, but like you've talked about that before. Yeah, this T-Rex is just too comfortable with his body, he just doesn't know any shame. So he's like, I'm gonna get you with my with my titty arm. Like, with my with my titty claws, I'm gonna get you, and just like ah, get out of here.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Get out of here, weird.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

And then you're like, get out of here, and he just runs off, and you're like, I can't stay mad at him. Like he's he's he's just he's just so confident. He means well, you know. He means well, he's just he's just a bit of a goofball.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Much like the Meg in this movie. Well, both both Megs. Which of the two Megs in this movie do you think you'd rather chill with?

SPEAKER_03 29:26

Hmm. I feel like the second Meg had Megan's Megan. Yeah, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

Meg's the first one, Megan's the second one.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

I thought I thought the first one would be like Megido. Like he's like I did read. Megiddo, like a like a biblical. Oh, is that biblical? I think it is. I thought that was Italian. Yeah, I mean, close enough. I would like to meet an Italian shark. I bet I I feel like just on the surface, that's a funny concept, but I'm not gonna go deeper with it. I we've we've wasted enough time.

SPEAKER_08 29:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

Um, I did read the second Meg as as female, though, which I thought was was interesting. I guess they both could be female or both male. Like, gender is not a topic of conversation amongst amongst giant sharks. Uh but uh I do think the second one was just kind of more visually impressive. I feel like a little more active. I feel that kind of shark.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

It's a little more playful.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Yeah, and like and like and like this is complex, but like I feel like I'm not the only thing that shark has going on. Right, and that's like that's like yeah, it's got hobbies, it's got other instances. Yeah, yeah. It listens to Ed Sheeran, uh, it goes to coffee shops. Uh it loves farmers' markets.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

It uh not even in like a performative way, it just enjoys the connection it has with the local vendors.

SPEAKER_03 30:54

Yeah, yeah. It's just it's all about building community and like showing up for local events. It coaches Little League.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Uh uh, it runs old movie night at the local theater, which is like whereas the first Meg, as you pointed out, the first Meg, he pulls up outside your house and just calls you a f I didn't want to laugh.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

I told myself I wasn't gonna laugh. But the idea of so there is this scene. There is this scene because what happens is the the scientists go believe beneath like this freezing cold layer in the Marianas Trench that takes them to the prehistoric underzone, and that's where they find the Meg. And when they escape, uh the Meg follows them, and there's this scene where the little kid aboard the uh aboard this undersea station is walking around, and like the Meg is it's like there's a lot of shots of the Meg just kind of looking at her from like from its point of view. It's it's the Jaws Cam, you know? It's it's it's showing you what the shark sees. And it's like it is effective, like at this shark kind of like building this looming menace, but it does make me think of like the shark like in a car, like cruising outside your house and like pulling up and like calling you and like come outside, you piece of shit. Like, ah like which led me to think of of a shark hurling slurs, and for some reason, like it it just it feels so unnecessary. Like, like what if uh like you're on a you're you're in a in the Jaws situation, like at the end of Jaws, where the shark is coming up on the boat and is like it's almost gonna get you like ah ah like you're you're fighting for your life, and then the shark just suddenly calls you a or like a f and then you're like Jesus eating Richard Dreyfus.

SPEAKER_05 33:01

It's eating Richard Dreyfus, and it's like it's worse because the shark is a bigot.

unknown 33:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

If you had to choose a shark to be eaten by, I'd rather have an open-minded shark.

SPEAKER_05 33:13

I would prefer to be eaten by an open-minded shark. I don't want to be eaten by the bigoted shark.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

That's a part of the ecosystem I'm not down with, audience.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

Because then, as I'm disappearing down its gullet, I have to be explaining to any onlookers that I do not approve of this as I'm getting eaten.

SPEAKER_02 33:40

The shark's just shouting like slurs that aren't even relevant to the situation at this point.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

And then someone in the crowd is like, hey, cut him some slack. He's over like a hundred years old. I'm I'm getting eaten.

SPEAKER_02 33:51

He's from the under zone.

SPEAKER_03 33:52

Yeah, I'm getting eaten by that by one of the prehistoric.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

And he doesn't he doesn't understand our like modern you know sensibilities.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Yeah, there is a shark that is uh that was alive during the Confederacy.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Like do you think it's a Confederate shark?

SPEAKER_03 34:12

That's what I was thinking. Is like, well, like the the headline that they said is like, oh, this shark has been around since the meaning the shark is very old, it's been around for a long time. Isn't it incredible that sharks can live that long? Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Also, if this shark was a Confederate, yeah, it swims up like it was about states' rights, it was about states' rights.

SPEAKER_04 34:36

Reconstruction was a humiliation.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

William Tecumseh Sherman was a war criminal.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

He's a war criminal. If he was if he was anyone else, you would condemn him. This is like really, really fucking emotionally invested, shark, but like like weird, weirdly emotionally invested.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Like, you know, like yeah, you're like, what's your game, Shark?

SPEAKER_03 35:05

But he just insists that like it, oh, I'm just I'm just a historian. I'm just a historian.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

Like, it's like obvious that he's not, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

I don't know, like I I guess I keep returning to this dynamic of like being maliced socially by by apex predators. Like, yeah, like they have the means of devouring you, but they're they're just choosing to be assholes instead.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

There's something very funny about that. Yeah, they subtweet you a bunch, like they're they're mean to you on they're on your snark subreddit. Oh my god. Sometimes I do think we are too online, but that's that's the wages of sin. Um I'd love to talk to you. So like I feel like we both we I we've both read through our show notes here. Yeah. And I feel like we both had kind of the same impression of this movie, and that it is surprisingly pretty fucking good.

SPEAKER_08 36:09

Yeah. Like what you expect from a movie titled The Meg.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yeah, like to hear the premise, the Meg, it's about a giant fucking Megalodon. Yeah, like you've seen a lot of shark movies. Like, I I would not blame anyone for thinking they know what this movie is about. And like, actually, yeah, you probably do know what this movie is about. Like, it's it's it's it is not blowing anyone's mind. It's just it's one of these great movies where they don't subvert any tropes, but they use those tropes, like they use those tropes with intention, you know?

SPEAKER_02 36:44

Like this movie is not in their arsenal and they deploy it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

And they deploys it, they deploy it uh tactically, you know. Yeah, like trope tropes are fucking horrible when they're lazy, you know, when they're expected.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

Yeah, when they're used as crutches.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

When they're used as crutches or shorthand, or they're just there's just nothing fleshing them out, you know. That's not the case in this one. Like we have Jason Statham playing what is I mean, yeah, let's let's be real. He plays the same role every time. All that's missing is the chilies. Yeah, former special ops, uh no longer special ops, has to come back for one last job, former Chili's franchisee. Yeah. Beth.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

He tried to make it take off in Thailand and it just failed miserably.

SPEAKER_03 37:29

Ah, yeah, no, Jason Statham running uh Thailand's first Chili's. That's too interesting. It has to be Jason Statham running chilies in like like Birmingham, Alabama, or something like in California. Yeah, it's got to be somewhere, it's gotta be one of those mid-sized towns, you know, like like nothing someplace you've heard of, but no place you'd ever want to go. And that's where his chilies is. Okay. But then he gets recruited. But then he gets recruited. Like, like that's always that this is the plot. Like, Jason Statham is former special ops, no longer special ops, one more job gets recruited for one more job that only he can do. He says, I don't want to do it. And then he says, I do want to do it.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Like there's always some frosting that gets put on the cake, usually in the form of a hot chick, and he's like, I've changed my mind.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

I've changed my mind. I do want to do that. Yeah, no, I mean, like, like that was the point of the Magnificent Seven, is that for for a lot of guys. Yeah, no, for a lot of guys, if a girl asks you to like stare down capitalist expansionists or fight a giant shark, yeah, there's a fair number of guys who will be like, Yeah, I'll do it. Okay, sure. Yeah, I mean, look at the Iliad. Look at the Iliad. That's what that whole movie is about. You might say that the Meg is the most faithful translation of the Iliad to date. Yeah, it's like an Aqua Iliad. Aqua Iliad? I love that you specified Aqua Statham.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Yeah, because Statham's Aqua form. People might not know this. Jason Statham is in real life an incredibly talented swimmer. Like he was at like the Olympic trials for swimming. He won like a some like major swimming competition in Britain.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

He is very sleek. That man is hairless. He he's a sick.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

I paused the frame just to make sure. I was like, wait, is that some back hair? And I paused it. And you know, yeah, he's got some back hair.

SPEAKER_03 39:39

That only makes him cooler. I gained respect. If it I didn't even know that was possible, but I again also also that probably helps with his swimming. Right. Like, like I would imagine Yeah, aqua dynamic. Like, I imagine that that back hair keeps uh like the bubbles from attaching themselves, and like it probably keeps barnacles off as well. Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:05

So like there's head like a natural swim cap.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like that does not shock me at all. I mean, like, the dude is legitimately in excellent physical shape. Like, nobody has ever accused Jason Statham of phoning it in physically. Or performatively, actually. Like, like this is a good segue. Uh Jason Statham is really fucking good in this movie.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

Yeah, not just in the aqua stunts, which are good, but character-wise.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Yeah, like I don't mean uh like I don't mean that to come off as like Snyder, like, ah, but Jason Statham is actually good. All is white and empty. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 40:44

I can't do that voice without thinking of all these all is white and empty.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Yeah, yeah, that's I implanted that memetically. But yeah, his character in this movie, Jonas.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

His character, yeah, Jonas something.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Uh uh Jonas, it's an aquatic name.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

Yeah, he Jonas is only guys who can swim are named Jonas.

SPEAKER_02 41:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

They are born with water element affinity.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

Yeah, the Jonas brothers are actually out of their element.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

They that's that's why they move so strange, and that's why you see them gasping for breath all the time. Yeah, you never see them in shoes or out of shoes because they've got you know, you never see that yeah, but that's how they did that stunt where they threw him over, they tied him to an anchor and threw him overboard. Because he was never he was he was in no danger. That's his element basically.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

Shout out to Midway.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

Shout out to Midway movie, also the battle fucking won that shit. Shout out to the only movie with the guts to summarily execute Joe Jonas on stream. Japan, let him know. Oh my god. No, I was just by that I mean I think it would be really funny if Japan specifically forbade Joe Jonas from visiting. Like if the nation of Japan suddenly developed a beef with one individual guy, and that was Singular Jonas brother. Singular the other Jonas brothers are fine, they can come anytime they want, but don't let us catch you here.

SPEAKER_02 42:16

Don't have huge billboards of Joe Jonas's face with like red kanji written across it type of name.

SPEAKER_03 42:22

Like the kanji for destroying over his face.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

Yeah, like six exclamation points after it.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

There's daily drills conducted via the public loudspeaker. It's like some guy saying in Japan it's Joe Jonas Awareness Week. All good citizens report in. Oh my god. And somehow he finds himself in there. Actually, that's even funnier if he keeps trying to get in.

SPEAKER_02 42:53

Also, it's a Zanny plot.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

He wasn't he wasn't interested until they told him he couldn't come in.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Now he wants to know why.

SPEAKER_03 43:01

And now he's gotta know why. Now nobody can remember who offended who first.

unknown 43:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

Oh shit. But so uh Jonas Aqua State, by the way. Jonas Aquistan he plays he plays a uh submarine rescue diver, which is a guy who saves people from sinking submarines.

SPEAKER_07 43:23

Submarines, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

And in the in in the initial setup, we see that uh he has to make a call and abandon some men so that he could save the other men before because in originally he was saving a nuclear submarine that was attacked by a megalodon. The movie escalates from here. So this is how it opens the movie escalates, and he lives with the PTSD, he moves to Thailand, and there is this really it's a it's a it's a very brief scene, but I loved it so much. Uh there's a scene with Jason Statham at a Thai bar, and he's like leaning back, he's He's getting drunk. He's leaning back in his chair and he's he's blitzed and his hair is his hat is over his eyes.

SPEAKER_02 44:07

I'm just imagining he grew a mullet while he was in Thailand.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

He grew a mullet. He's just, I'm blending in with the local culture. And like nobody else has a mullet. This is what he thinks is a good disguise. That also makes me think that it's funny if Jason Statham can spontaneously grow hair at will. He just chooses not to.

SPEAKER_07 44:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:29

Um, but there's this scene where he's passed out in a chair, and this uh waitress comes by with a f with a fresh beer, and she takes the empty beer out of his out of his passed out hands and then slides a new one into it. And I'm like, that's really funny. That was very funny. But he gets recruited by this billionaire played by Rain Wilson, this billionaire's uh experiment to create a deep sea lab to plunge beneath the Mariana's trench, and a crew gets stranded down there after getting MEG'd. Yep. And Jason Statham's gotta save him, which is already like another credit to this movie. Like it has a sound logical setup, like all of it is is like, yeah, I bet there's a fucking Meg down there, dude.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

That's the Underzone.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

You expect that's the that's the fucking Underzone, brother.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

You're in the Underzone, brother, brother. Buckle up, cuh. Welcome to the prehistoric underzone, brother. I mean, there's gonna be some whack shit at the bottom of the Mariana trench, right? Like they got the fucking angler fish and shit. I think we should just drop a nuclear bomb on it if you were me. That's what I would do.

SPEAKER_03 45:42

But I feel that would bad I feel that would not go well. Like my fine. Well, like ignorance, we'd get tons of oil. What if we just nuke the Marianas trench?

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Open up the underzone, drill the underzone.

SPEAKER_03 45:58

Don't I mean depending on when you, the audience, is listening to this, this might the political situation might still be insane enough that someone in government might be listening and be like, huh. Nuke the Marianas Trench. Mr. President, I got an idea for you. We've breached the Underzone. We've breached Marco Rubio has to announce that we've breached the Marco Rubio has to announce we've breached the underzone. Unfortunately, we brought back a Meg.

SPEAKER_02 46:34

And now we're reasonably confident that we can contain the issue.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

We are reasonably confident that we can what is reasonably confident means, sir. Like the Meg.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

The Chinese are sending destroyers.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

The Chinese are sending destroyers to the to defeat the MEG. Um but yeah, like like Jason Statham, he has he has some PTSD. He actually fucking acts like it. He acts, and not just in a tough guy, like, oh, you know, I'm he's he's a good mom, dude. He's a really good character. Like when he gets in the sub that he's supposed to use for a rescue, he notes that the lead scientist's granddaughter has drawn Captain Bubbles on it, and like a little a little uh drawing of a submarine, and Jason Statham's character looks at it briefly, and then he smiles, like that's cute, and then he just gets in. I loved that, and like again, that was just a there in your mid like blink and you'll miss it thing. But I love characterization, like characterization, and just so much little characterization around the uh around it. Like, like that's what Statham brings to a performance, is he's all in on everything. Like it sounds ridiculous to say Jason Statham inhabits the character, but he does.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

He feels real despite the unreal circumstances. Like the only people he stand off with are the people who are dicks to him, and like you leave people behind, and he knows he doesn't, but it's like yeah, he's got that BTSD, so he gets prickly with them. But with the yeah, they're there is friendly, and with uh his ex-wife, he jokes around a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 48:09

Yeah, there is an uppity uh doctor, uh an uppity old dude who is getting on his case, Dr. Heller, and he plays the police chief role, you know, like like I gotta love the police chief role because it's it's just like one of you has to be the certified hater, you know. It's like I'm here specifically to make it. Chew you out even though you get the job done. Chew you out. Like fucking, I'd love that. I love the fu I love the police chief chewing out the the the tough guy.

SPEAKER_02 48:40

Like Bro, I loved uh when Heller sacrificed himself. Like his last line was like such a like he turns to Ruby Rose's character, and they're both like in the ocean, the Meg's swimming at them. Um and they're not gonna make it back to the boat, like if they both swim in the same direction. So he just turns to her, he's like, You're a good person, and then just starts splashing in the water.

SPEAKER_03 48:57

Yeah, attracts the Meg.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

He could have had something a little more badass, right?

SPEAKER_03 49:01

Yeah, but I mean, like well, nobody said he was a doctor of letters, right? Like he's yeah like just just because it's his last moment doesn't mean it's gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

Honestly, if I were in that scenario, I would also probably not come up with a cool last line.

SPEAKER_03 49:18

That'd be you you'd seen the smiling friends?

SPEAKER_02 49:22

Um no, I haven't.

SPEAKER_03 49:23

You should you there's a bit where one of the characters goes to hell and finds like all these faces like in the in the pavement, and they're like saying, like, you're gonna die, Charlie! Like, hell is coming for you, and then he comes to a face, and the face just looks sheepishly. I'm like, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything to say. He goes, like, oh no, it's it's cool, man. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

You know, um, shout out to Poncho Villa, who has probably my favorite last words, um, which were uh don't let it end like this, tell them I said something.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

I can't tell what I'm more amused by. That line, or shout out to Poncho Villa. I'm I'm I refuse to follow you down this rabbit hole. Just me and Poncho Villa. You know what? I uh I actually will say shout out to Poncho Villa. One of the few. One of the few crossroads. See the crossroads. There's a lot of fucking assholes waiting for us.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

Yeah, they're all just cracking their knuckles, like summon the ghost of Poncho Villa, will you?

SPEAKER_03 50:31

Uh no, I'm not gonna go into ghosts.

SPEAKER_02 50:33

Uh Satham does have his like terminal hater. He's got yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:37

But he has instant chemistry with everyone on the ship except except his love interest. Yes. It's it's actually sexual stakes are.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

Yeah, they're well no, I'll let you go.

SPEAKER_03 50:50

They are they are inverse sexual stakes. And you know, like sex sexual stakes, when we talk about it, it does not necessarily mean sex, like sexualized acts. It's right, uh it's more about attraction, you know, like chemistry, uh, how these characters feel about each other.

SPEAKER_02 51:07

Yeah, they don't have to get naked, like they don't even have to kiss. It's nice if there's a little smooch ski.

SPEAKER_03 51:11

Yeah, I like I'll like I'll go on record as saying I am a fan of both naked and kissing. Like I like I like that in movies. I will never apologize. I think that's great. I want to see that. I I'm I'm the Mike I'm of the Mike Stocksa opinion, where he was like, like, does anyone else just like seeing love? Like, I'm I'm sorry for that bad impression, but like no, he's right though. He's right, like like I he likes seeing love in movies. I like seeing love in movies. That's great. And there's satisfaction to it, yeah. And I mean this one, uh the the head researcher is I think Dr. Zhang, and his uh his daughter Su Yin is a single mom, and she's a scientist who's also very like Jason Statham, always trying to help people do the right thing.

SPEAKER_02 52:00

Um but she just hasn't gotten Megged before, and Statham has gotten MEG.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

Yeah, yeah. And they they're meant to have this kind of romance, and they're both attractive, and they're both talented they're both talented actors at conveying what they're meant to convey. It's just it's just not there. Like I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

Like a vacuum open to the room and sucks the sexiness out.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

Yeah, yeah. It that's what I mean by inverse sexual stakes. Like when it's when it's trying so hard to be sexual that it inverts and becomes more chaste. Like, there's a bit where Su Yin walks in on uh on Jason Statham as he's stepping out of the shower and like fucking Statham's fucking ripped, like nobody's complaining.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

In my mind, I just said like do more crunches, like note to self, do more crunches.

SPEAKER_03 52:48

You could never do as many crunches to get to fucking Jason Statham. He was aqua statem for this.

SPEAKER_08 52:58

Aqua statum.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

Aqua statum, like you're not gonna fucking get those abs without like being born in a bog, like he was. Manchester, that is a body like built by hunting small birds along the shoreline. Like that's how he got his start.

SPEAKER_02 53:20

But no, like um uh she comes into the room, he's just wearing a very low slung towel. Real low slung towel.

SPEAKER_03 53:27

Very low, like, like there's some root. There's some root. Oh my god. I I feel like there's some root going on there. Like, like, I feel like the the the pig found a truffle and started digging. God damn. I hate myself. I hate myself for that. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Vivid imagery.

SPEAKER_03 53:45

I'm so sorry, I'll stop. Um uh but no, like uh I love that trope personally. Like, oh, I walked, oh, you're indecent. Oh no, oh no, awkward. Now it's awkward.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

Yeah, no, no, it's fine. You can stay. Like, no, yeah, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 53:58

Like, like I'm uncomfortable with this. I'm uncomfortable. I thought I might offend you. No, you're not offending me. It's fine. Like, yeah, that's great. And then she like she leaves and then she like covers her face with her with her hands, and it's just like uh it feels so forced.

SPEAKER_06 54:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:14

Contrarily, uh, Ruby Road, it's Ruby Road, right? Ruby Road, like power, yeah. Uh she plays Jax, who is the two X's with the worst part of her character is that their the character's name is two X's. Yeah, other than that, she fucking rules. I love the fucking name. Yeah, she has this she has this badass little punk haircut, she has these fucking cool tattoos, she looks rad, and there's this bit uh where they finally call Jason Statham over, and she's giving him the rundown on uh on like the on like the facility, and he looks at his buddy and says, Who's she? And and she goes, She's the guy that built this whole thing. And then she gives him a problem, right? Yeah, she gives him this cheeky grin, and then he sort of gives her this nod of like, Well, all right, like okay, yeah, the real one, okay. Yeah, yeah, and like they that's instant connection because Jason Statham is such a good actor that he does have chemistry with everyone.

SPEAKER_02 55:14

Yeah, that you can immediately tell their characters respect each other.

SPEAKER_03 55:17

Yeah, yeah, and that's organic chemistry, you know, that's not force at all.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

So in my Ruby Rose covering her eyes outside of the channel.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Yeah, yeah, no, she's confident, she is fucking confident, and he is fucking confident, and they feel some way about that, and that's great. Like, and that's why in my notes it says Jason Statham, please fuck the goth girl. Yeah, nobody over and over and over. Like, like I really wanted to see that happen. I knew it wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Uh you can always hope though. Yeah, oh yeah, there it is. All caps.

SPEAKER_03 55:45

Yeah, no, it's just over and over.

SPEAKER_02 55:46

No, Su Yin, not you. Get the punk girl. Not you, Su Yin. Su Yin's last words. Jason Statham, please fuck the goth punk girl.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

I just imagined other characters imploring Jason Statham and Ruby Rose's character to get together.

SPEAKER_07 56:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

I think that I think that would be fun. Uh and uh yeah, he's he's he's great in this movie. Like he is fucking good. And like we we just had to stop and glaze old Jay old J Stay. J Stay. Ah, no, I'm not gonna say that. Jastey J stay. I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna keep respect on the name and I'm gonna say Jason Statham. I'll never even say Statham or Jason independently. I'll say it all as one word. Jason Statham. Jason Statham. Jason Statham.

SPEAKER_02 56:37

Jason Statham to you, good sir. And unsurprisingly, in this movie, he also crushes it with the action scenes. We talked more about the character because it's Jason Statham. He's gonna crush the action scenes, especially in his aqua form, dude. He's using himself as like a turbo lure for a giant shark. He disembowels a different shark using the fin of a fucking submersible. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 56:58

Like ever ever since Aquaman, we have struggled to make people look cool when they are doing shit in the water. It's tricky. Fucking Jason Statham looks very cool as he does this. The stunt work is fucking phenomenal. Like you can all like I don't think he gets enough credit for that, but like Jason Statham does some good fucking stunts.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

Oh, yeah. He's fucking getting chased by giant sharks, even giant or sharks.

SPEAKER_03 57:25

And like, like, let's be real, like shark-based action is pretty fucking rad.

SPEAKER_02 57:29

Like, like uh sharks are inherently pretty fucking scary, dude. They got all the teeth and stuff.

SPEAKER_03 57:34

Oh yeah, that's that's what everyone says.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

Plus, like there's that inherent like human fear of getting fucking eaten. Like the scariest part of Resident Able eat ate for me was like when you're getting chased around by that giant like fetus monster that eats you if it catches you. That shit is horrifying.

SPEAKER_03 57:49

Yeah, that was terrible.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Uh like the Meg, dude, that shit can just fucking swallow your ass. It swallowed the Swedish guy.

SPEAKER_03 57:54

I was just thinking from like from like a uh from like a scientific standpoint or an evolutionary standpoint, calling sharks teeth and stuff is actually not that inaccurate. Yeah, they they have not evolved for like millions of years because they fucking nailed it on the yeah, they fucking like nope, just teeth. I'm gonna like the one thing they afforded themselves was a badass fucking dorsal fin. Yeah, yeah, that was the uh that's like just the one indulgence they left themselves. Uh but yeah, no, like the I think we should talk briefly about our one big grievance with this movie. And like I say briefly because there honestly isn't that much to say about it, but it is a kind of significant grievance.

SPEAKER_02 58:46

It's something we should touch on at least, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:48

Uh the action is good. The action is great, I would say, actually. And the effects are very well done. The atmosphere is great, and there's too fucking much of it.

SPEAKER_02 59:00

You just feel like you noted I think I think that you just feel too full. Like stretching of your stomach is kind of outweighing.

SPEAKER_03 59:09

Yeah, the the feeling of being too slightly too full off of delicious food. Like, like you still liked the food, but now you feel uncomfortable and like you're kind of tired and you don't want to keep keep eating, you know? And like this movie has so many stunts, but it's just endless, endless. Oh, the meg is after us. Oh no, now it's not. Alright, we bought some time. Now what are we gonna but and there's not really any escalation either.

SPEAKER_02 59:36

Like it tends to except for like, oh, it's a bigger shark.

SPEAKER_03 59:40

Like that's yeah, like I I don't know if you notice this, but the movie almost repeats itself.

SPEAKER_02 59:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 59:46

It's like we it's like because there are two megs.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

Yeah, we're tracking it again, like yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:52

So the first Meg is like, oh no, the Meg is out there, it's coming after us. We've gotta stop it before it destroys something. We've got to track it. Oh no, someone fell in the water. All right, now let's swim back. Okay, now let's escape. All right, now we're saved. Uh oh, it's chasing us. Now we've got to escape again. Uh-oh. But then, and then it's like, alright, we finally killed it and caught it. Yay! And then Meg 2 shows up, and we basically do the same thing. Oh no, you gotta track it. Oh no, we've got uh someone fell in the water. Oh no, it's threatening a bunch of people. Oh blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, like, okay. It was great the first time, but like, this is what made Jaws such a great movie is like the shark uh did not get too much screen time, you know? It was a it was a presence, it was a produce of the fucking animatronic shark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like that's I I know like I'm not gonna get that because Jaws was a monster movie and the Meg is a is a sharp feature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um which is what the only other thing I want to talk about because we I I like I did love this movie. I do think people should see this movie. It does fucking rule, especially the goofy ass ending where he fucking makes the shark bleed so much, and then the I thought that was the part where like I just fucking checked out, and I'm glad it happened at the very fucking end.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:15

Yeah, with the fucking frenzy of the smaller.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:17

Yeah, Jason Statham uses his sub to slice open the Megalodon and like bleed it out into the water, and then like a cavalry of sharks show up, yeah, and it's like it's like a fucking you know, riders of Rohan, but sharks. Sharks. It's so fucking ridiculous, it's so fucking stupid. Like these sharks just come out of nowhere and they're like charge! Like and they just devour the fucking like for the human.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:46

We remember the old uh we remember the old oaths between sharks and Jason Statham when blood plows the water, we ride to Statham's aid.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:58

He's like fucking Gandalf in the Eagles. He helped a shark, he helped the king of the sharks once when he was when he was but a puppet.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:07

Now he they swore an eternal oath. Now he's calling him that same shark's grandson who has taken the crown and they respect the oath.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:14

He's like, I call upon you to fulfill the ancient oaths. Like he stands up, and this giant shark just like looks at him and then slowly extends his fin. Yeah. Like they clasped forearms and like, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:31

Let us swim together one last time for the underzone.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:38

That is honestly kind of what happens, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

That is like without the dialogue, that is basically what happens. And like, it's a move, it's the the price of admission is pretty high. So, like the only thing I couldn't, and like I swear to god, I don't like doing this. I hate being nitpicky. And that's what I mean by the price of admission is pretty high. Like, you gotta accept that this is kind of a goofy premise. Oh, yeah. And so I really don't like being nitpicky normally, but if he can cut open the megalodon, like wouldn't I I would feel like cutting open the megalodon would be like probably more effective than like hoping a freeding frenzy shows up, you know? Like, why not just keep why not just like cut it? Because like at the end, Jason Satham maneuvers his sub so that its wing cuts through the shark's belly.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:29

Yeah, does it bite the thing afterwards? I can't because it ends up out of the submarine when the feeding frenzy happens. So it's got to get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:36

Like like the I guess the Meg whirls around and bites it, but he says, I'm gonna make this thing bleed. So like he I think he planned the feeding frenzy. Yeah, but I can't I can't prove it. Like, that's just speculation. A cop movie where we're trying to bust Jason Statham for summoning the sharks on people.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

Like an Interpol agent. Watching the god, this fucking clip, this fucking like poster board. No, clip, uh, what is it called? The corkboard. Yeah, corkboard of like a bunch of shark attack incidents, red line all leading back towards Jason Statham.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:15

Yeah, in the shape of like a Confederate flag, and you're like, oh God.

unknown 1:04:19

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:22

That's that's the fucking that's the sequel when Jason Statham and the Confederate shark find themselves on opposite sides.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:35

They're both going after a Confederate ironclad full of gold and Abraham Lincoln. I never wanted to fight you this way.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:44

The Sal shout ass again. I imagine the shark has a country accent. Oh, it has to, yeah. Has to. Um so I want to spend so that's pretty much my big beef, but this is what I want to spend my last bit on. I posed to you at the start of my notes that not all shark movies are necessarily shark movies. Okay. I think there are man versus nature movies which can star sharks. And I would quantify that as a movie in which the shark or other nature is indifferent to the human presence. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll I'll I'll I'll lay it down for the audience. So man versus nature, or person versus nature, if you're like that. Uh that's when the person is menaced by nature through no deliberate intent of nature or the person, like open water, like getting stranded and getting uh, you know, like circled by sharks. That's man versus nature, person versus whatever, shut up. Uh and then there's monster movies. Is one of these where the shark is, you know, perhaps acting a little out of character, but it's still uh doing what a shark does, it's still ultimately indifferent, it's mostly an animal. You could argue Jurassic Park was like this. No, actually you can't, because the Shark NATO movie is when mankind is threatened by a impossible creature of nature, either extinct or through mutation or whatever. Yeah, and of the creature is and mankind provokes that. Maybe not deliberately provokes, but you know, like provokes it. Like Jurassic Park is a Sharknado movie. Yeah. Uh Sharknado is a Sharknado movie, and the Meg is a Sharknado movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:50

And so slightly it takes itself more seriously than Sharknado. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:54

It's it's kind of it's it's it's a it's a top shelf Sharknado movie. Yeah. It's very high quality. There's no tornado, it's just big, big sharks. I would I would love to see Jason Statham fight sharks in a tornado, but there would be no need to because he and the sharks would be on the same side.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:11

Hear me out here. I've had this idea for for a while now. I want to run it past you. Um sharks on a train. Okay, well go on. It's like uh this super elite, maybe just uh maybe it's like a Saudi train, like uh because they spend money on ridiculous projects, right? So it's like this crazy like uh aquarium train going through the desert at like hype like super fast speeds, but like there's a bunch of like you know, wealthy people on board, and there's also Jason Statham, of course, because you know he's like a military special ops train mechanic that like you know like got brought in by like uh like a friend of his who was like shit, dude.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:46

Like I think there's problems earned my stripes during the train wars, yeah, against Count Tracula.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:52

Against Count Dracula, lost a lot of good men in those derailments. But it's like a huge like train full of all these like interconnected cars with like I guess flexible tubing between them or some such bullshit. And the train is also a huge aquarium for predatory aquatic creatures, primarily sharks. Okay. At some point the glass like breaks, flooding most of the train, and the sharks, yeah, the sharks start swimming through all the train cars, like devour. And Jason Statham has to like fight his way to like the the either the caboose or the engine, right? He's got to go through the sharks and like disconnect the cars or something. But you contrast that with like the background setting of this like endless desert.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:33

Yeah, yeah. So it's a little like like snow piercer, but uh with sharks.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:39

And like in the desert instead of the snow.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:41

At one point he climbs up on the roof and he's fighting a terrorist, but like there's a there's a swordfish underneath and it starts like jabbing its its spear up through the fucking roof as it's goes up through the roof and it like guts a guy. He's like, ah like he he he like fucking Jason Statham like kicks a guy into a tank full of piranhas, like oh fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:03

He impales it on the swordfish, like get the point.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:06

Get the point. Shit. I got I I can't think of any good fish bunts. I would be a shitty Jason Statham writer.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:17

I mean, you know, you got time, then I'll just come up with it. Uh that's true. Maybe he looks down at the uh the piranhas like oh that bites.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:24

Fuck, dude. Uh Jason Statham, if you're out there, my cousin, he's got he's got a gift, sir. I appreciate that. He has a gift, sir.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:38

I'd love to ride sharks on a train as a vehicle for you, Jason Statham.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:41

Jason Statham, we're just saying sharks on a train. If you want to, we can call it something like uh the uh the two tooth tracks, tooth tracks or something. Uh and then at the end where he's walking away, because like the train is has derailed. Yeah, yeah, and he and like all the all the rescue guys get there like well after, and they're like he's walking away. Uh he's gotta have a love interest. So who are you? Who are you right?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:12

And if it hits that, it'll like mutate all the sharks to be like unstoppable. So he has to find a way to derail the train and stop that. And yeah, he's for sure got a love interest. And at the end, she shows up on like a jeep and he has to jump from the fucking moving train to the jeep as like the head shark is trying to chomp him, and then it misses the side.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:29

Yeah, like the shark, the shark shark like leaps out after him, and like it's it's like clinging to the bumper, and he's like, Oh my god, yes, he's trying to like kick it off as it's snapping out of being dragged in the sand. And then he like goes, ah! And then suddenly there's there's like a distant rumbling, and like the shark shows up in like a tank. And then she's like, What the fuck is that? And then Jason Statham goes, Shock tank.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:59

Yes, yes, Jason Statham, sir! Please! Please let us do this.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:08

Um, uh uh so who is who's gonna play his love interest? You can't it can't be Jessica Alba because she's in a different Jason Statham movie. Amy Adams? I feel like she's a little too highbrow. Would would you hate me if I said Salma Hayek?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:31

You think Amy Adams is a higher brow than Salma Hayek? You don't put them at the same uh tier? I'd rate them so.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:37

What was Amy Adams in last? I don't know, she's a hot redhead. Was she in was she in Mad Men? Maybe. Am I thinking of Salma?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:46

But Salma Hayek as the uh as the the love interest. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:50

Does that work? Like Dr. Dr. Dr. uh uh Vasquez Sharpfang. She's like the ren the renowned shark biologist, and she's overseeing this. Oh, okay. And the and the and she's like, my research was meant to use sharks to cure cancer, and then like the the bad guy, the bad guy capitalist is like the research was always to turn sharks into nuclear bombs.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:19

Yes, dude. Yes, like radioactive shark bombs.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:23

Imagine the power of commanding a radioactive shark into the New York waterways.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:30

Yeah, he has like a hologram of like the sharks, like a hologram map of them spreading across the ocean.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:36

He's got his fucking scenario, like hologram scenario.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:40

There's no explanation of getting the sharks from the nuclear factory to the water.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:44

There is a fucking movie about Paris being flooded and attacked by sharks, and we asked was it good? Uh it's called what 47 meters deep, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:56

I thought it was that one, but then initially when you brought it up, but I don't think it is. I think that's a different shark movie. That the Paris one is fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:03

Um Paris Shark movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:06

Paris shark movie. Under Paris. Wow, that's strange.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:09

Under Paris. A couple of movies about being under Paris.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:13

Yeah, as above, so below.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:15

Yeah, so it's either demons or sharks down there. We're just not sure which.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:19

Yeah. God bless the fucking sanitation workers.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:23

Dude, that's the natural conclusion is about like Paris's like least glamorous janitor who has to go down into the catacombs and fight demon sharks under fight demons and like he he just move he moves from layer to layer. Honestly, that'd be kind of a sick graphic novel series. Yeah, he never he never acknowledges it being dangerous, it's just like so fucking tedious. Like oh my god, I love that. Alright, well, fuck. I think I'm cashed out on on the Meg. What do you what are your thoughts, Will?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:58

Um, the only thing uh I wanted to talk about really was um and to touch on again was and I think we both agreed we liked the fact that there was a second Meg.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:07

Yes, yes. I like like if you're gonna do a movie like this, yes, like and like we said, like that's a that's always a fun fucking trope for like this shit. It's just like what if there were two of them? Like, ah like you know, it's like it's it's like that thrill in a in a video game where it's like oh you have to fight the same boss except now that's like what oh it was so hard the first time, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:32

Uh but I think that it might also uh that might contribute to how we felt overfilled at the end just because like you pointed out, they did a lot of the same stuff with the second shark. So how do you think they could have um kind of bridged that that gap there?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:47

I I feel like there were like well, I mean, like there's a character at the wall, he's like a European dude. He gets he gets knocked into the water a couple of times. And like the first time you're like, oh no, are they gonna get him? Oh no, they he they didn't get him. Like, oh no, are they gonna get him? And this time they got him, like, oh yeah. Well, I mean, there's only one other way that can go.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:10

So like I kind of wish that Rain Wilson's like uh shark hunting brigade had been around for longer. Not that they would have needed to be more effective, but I think that spreading out their misadventures a little bit, like having his lawyer bring a giant fucking bundle of Semtex and a helicopter, like that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:27

They were they were kind of missing, they were kind of missing uh the Muldoon character, you know. Like uh I know Jason Statham is supposed to be the badass outsider that's got in, but like everyone's taking it way too far. Yeah, well, there's gotta be like a there's gotta be like a fucking well, but he's like the badass in submarine rescue, you know. He's not the badass in shark hunting. Right. And like there's gotta be a character, like a shark biologist, someone who's like who can tell us more about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:57

And like all Jason Satham does is say, like crushing power of the fucking Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:02

Yeah, like it can swallow a wheel. Well, no, I guess that is Su Yin. She does she talks about that, but she doesn't have that presence, she doesn't have that grizzled presence, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:10

Like she doesn't seem like a mean bastard who would like trophy hunt some shit for fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:14

Yeah, like yeah, exactly. Like that's what Muldoon brought in Jurassic Park, is when he's saying, like, is like, no, these bastards are clever. I would never I don't trust these, I don't think these should exist. And like it's him saying it. He's this fucking game warden hunter. Like, yeah, like the threat is is tangible. And I know like uh Su Yin, the character, she's a scientist. I'm not doubting that or anything. She just doesn't really have the same gravitas.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:41

Yeah, she doesn't have like an aggressive, like hunting mindset toward it. She's like everybody else. Like, oh, what the fuck? There should be a guy who like smiles a little bit when he sees it, and it's like, I wanna. I think that should have been the character of Mac.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:53

Mac is uh is the chief operator of the uh of the uh Jason Statham's job. And he's friends with Jason Statham, he's how he gets him uh out there. But I he and he you can see that he's constantly capable, like he saves the crew a couple of times by getting a boat like swimming out to a boat. Yeah. Uh I and like he he seems very capable and like kind of has that same rugged mentality that Jason Statham has. I think he should have been the one, like I think he should have been like some great uh shark hunter or you know, like a a scuba diver or something, like someone with a lot of charges from World War II or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like some guy who did who did something crazy that has given him like very specific skills. Like that would have worked great, I thought. My opinion. Yeah, I think that yeah, that would have kind of but you're right, like as it as it is, uh as it is, there's just uh like the it's it's the same movie twice. And like, sure, they're both good movies, but I'm pretty sure they made a sequel to this movie. I haven't seen it. They did, and I'm actually I'm actually told it's uh it's it's it's pretty solid.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:08

No shit. I'm just curious because I I haven't looked it up or anything. Like, how are they gonna like are there two more Megs? Are there three more Megs? Yeah, I mean, does the Meg have a gun this time? Right? Is this the racist Meg it's learning about the Civil War? Is this the Confeder Meg 3 Confederate shark?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:31

I mean somehow the shark king has has brought back the Confederate army.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:38

I hope that somehow there's like a solar like laser weapon involved in the second movie. Like they have like a satellite-based laser, like a golden eye. Megalodon has a golden eye. Like like Megalodon has a golden eye basically. It's launching EMP strikes across Europe as we speak. And you see like it tur using its fins to turn the keys.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:06

He's going to crash the stock market.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:11

He shorted everything.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:28

Yeah, he's just a complete ass like fucking menace to humanity.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:34

He's recruiting kids to sell drugs for him because they get lower sentences. He's taking advantage of the social system.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:43

Wait, it's like the megalodon has is buying up properties left and right. He's pushing innocent people out of their homes.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:54

He's the reason that rent is so high in Hong Kong.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:57

He's fucking he's fucking gentrifying neighborhoods.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:03

How do we scorpion? He's buying up low-income neighborhoods with a lot of character and installing Starbucks.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:13

Just this complete asshole shark.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:17

Yeah. I'd be fucking enthralled.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:23

Yeah, just every Meg episode is like every Meg sequel is just an increasingly complex plot by the sharks. Like by Meg 9, they're running a Manchurian candidate.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:37

Black Jack, and then the shark in the tank turns fucking bursard.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:42

The shark on the debate stage attacks the secretary of the UN, pushing the world into chaos.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:52

Oh my god, I'm sorry. I I I said I was gassed out. I think I just really gassed myself out. I thought I could get that out of you. Societal menace shark. No, what'd you say? Societal plague.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:07

Yeah, he's a societal plague.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:11

He's just a fucking asshole. He's like he's just like a the megalodon is taking two spaces when it parks, but it only needs one.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:21

And one of those spaces is the disabled one.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:25

He's not all the way in the disabled, so you can't say he did it on purpose, but you know he did it on purpose. I know he fucking did.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:33

Yeah. He's like a TikTok or no, he's like a nuisance streamer.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:39

Yeah, he's fucking walking around Japan screaming slurs. Yeah. Oh my god. The megalodon has 50,000 subscribers. Yeah. The megalodon is cultivating toxic online influence spheres.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:03

The megalodon is selling phony vitamin supplements.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:07

There's an article in him about variety, about how much of like a danger he is to young men.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:16

Young men are increasing the megalodon is increasingly radicalizing socially isolated young men.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:23

They're calling it Meg Maxing.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:25

They're calling it Meg Maxing.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:27

Nobody calls it that.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:28

But it's the toxic trend of 2026. The Megalodon keeps kanking me in Fortnite.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:37

You got absolutely megmogged. You got Megmogged. I guess it's just being devoured.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:43

Yeah, I guess that's just being killed by a shark. That's how every movie ends, is they can front the shark, and the shark just turns back into a shark and attacks them.

unknown 1:22:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:54

And like is capable of carrying out all these k these like complex schemes, but only off-screen.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:00

I'm thinking about the final movie, like Jason Statham unlocks the ability to like animorph into an orca or something. Into a shark. Or into a shark, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:09

On the hammerhead, flight back to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:17

The megalodon is hijacked a spaceship.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:22

And he's terraforming. He's he's terraforming!

SPEAKER_02 1:23:28

But it's just making it all an ocean.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:30

No, it's a planet full of megalodons.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:35

Planet megalodon. Oh, I mean, we're like really spitting fire here.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:40

We are actually Jay, Mr. Statham, please, please, sir. We're we're mining gold from these veins.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:49

Because otherwise, Pedro Pascal will have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:57

Pedro Pascal has the megalodon. It's just his face on a giant shark's body. He opens his mouth really wide. He's like, he doesn't even have the shark teeth, though. It's just like normal, normal people teeth.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:11

Oh god, that's horrible.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:13

That's way more fucked up than if he had the shark.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:17

Oh god! Oh, that's terrible.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:20

Yeah, just like Pedro Pascal the size of a skyscraper, but he's got a shark body. Just swimming down the potomac or something.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:31

That's Meg 10. Pedro Pascal has been kidnapped and turned into a shark by the sharks.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:42

They have like, yeah, a secret lab in the underzone where they're experimenting.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:46

They're turning people into sharks. And at the end, Pedro Pascal as a shark betrays them.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:55

He still remembers who he is.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:58

You know, Jason Statham rides him into battle or something.

unknown 1:25:02

At the head of the shark cattle.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:04

I've I've I I think I might I think I might choke if I if I keep going down this. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:09

I think that we should uh as a last thing we should discuss what we're thinking about doing for our next episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:14

I called the last one. What are you feeling? We just did a Statham. We have not done a Van Dam in a while.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:23

No, we have not.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:24

Oh thinking more classic, or are we thinking more uh modern?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:30

Um we could do a classic.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:32

I mean we we could do blood sport.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:34

We could do blood sport. I mean that's a stone classic right there. I'm down to do blood sport.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:40

You want to do blood sport? Fuck yeah, dude. JCVD, the classic, yeah. Blood sport. Blood sport, blood sports gonna see gonna see that that that that Asian guy's titties bounce.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:52

Like a fucking waterbed.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:54

Hell yeah! Like a fucking bounce house.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:58

I never liked bounce houses that much. I felt always claustrophobic. I mean it's fun to bounce, but like fuck, dude. The house part is what got me, I think. Well, past yeah, past like trampoline parks, that's very different. Those are fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:12

I oddly get that. Like, that actually makes a lot of sense to me. No, let's do blood sport and let's do a new another fast and the furious after that.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:20

I'm down.

unknown 1:26:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:22

Bloodsport, blood sport next uh next week, week after that, fast and furious, something.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:29

Yeah, it probably won't be four or more kind of scene.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:32

Maybe with Jason Stath.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:33

The Megalodon, the Megalod, the Megalodon has formed an underground racing ring. Jason Statham is literally in several of the Fast and Furious movies.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:42

I know, he's fucking everywhere. He just shows up in places.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:45

Yeah. Much like George R. R. Martin.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:48

Much like George R. R. Martin.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:50

George R. R. Martin and Fast and Furious, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:53

Come on, guys. Wait, no, what it was.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:56

Her engine, he f he found the dusky woman. Oh her engines revved like a V6.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:04

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:06

Like a like a Nissan skyline. I think I think that's slowly turning into Stan Lee.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:15

It always does.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:17

Tune in next time. Slop Culture viewers. Alright, guys. Go on, go ahead. Go ahead. Do some housekeeping, please. I'm dying here.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:25

Slop Culture is a podcast hosted by Sam Sykes. That's him. And Will Palmer, that's me. Please give us a five-star review out of five. On whichever platform you heard us on. We tremendously appreciate it. Our cover art's by Andrew Sides, and our intro music is by Joe Roy. You can contact the podcast at SlopculturePodcast at gmail.com. And you can find me on social media at Palmskis or Will underscore Palmskis.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:48

You can find me at Sam Psykes Swears. This has been Slop Culture. Uh we have been your hosts. This has been this has been a ridiculous episode. Uh please join us. Next week for Blood Sport starring Jean-Claude Van Dam. Yep. And until then, stay sloppy.