Sloppy Seconds - Baby Got Backrooms

On the inaugural session of Sloppy Seconds, the boys talk about horror film sensation, THE BACKROOMS, one of Sam's very favorite settings and, now, one of his very favorite movies. Also included in this episode: bad endings to good shows, the twitching carcass of Star Wars and how badly you'd have to offend Pedro Pascal before he finally came after you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I mean there are worse topics we could pick than that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I I I I do have a lot of thoughts on that. And they are definitely uh like like they could not spark a riot in a big city.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Like a village, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Yeah, I I think I could get a riot going in an in a in an apartment complex.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

A hamlet? Could you get a hamlet?

SPEAKER_01 0:25

In a hamlet, in a hamlet or a berg. I could do a berg.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Ooh. Go ham on a berg.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Uh hamlet or berg, or like uh like a fucking uh uh a Chuck E. Cheese. I I think I could I could definitely muster a sizzler's worth of rioting, you know?

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Okay, okay. Um now how are you like run it running this riot? Are you like equipping your rioters? Are you just kind of like BYOB?

SPEAKER_01 0:49

No, no, no, no, no. Well, that's kind of the joy of a riot, right? It's it's it's you don't organize it, it just kind of happens, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Like kind of an impromptu yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

It's like a flash mob that sets shit on fire. Uh that's a crazy quote. I am a huge fan of that. I think there was an episode of Modern Family on it. Um, like I I would spark. I like I just I would just spark the riot. Coming at you live from Chili. I'm kind of hoping we can like neg our way into a sponsorship and like like have Chili's reach out, like God, I did you guys just have a bad experience of Chili's? Um but no, like it's it's literally just that Chili's is is just I it's an inherently funny place. I I can't explain it.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Yeah, it's just you know, you'll understand uh when you're older, audience.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

You'll understand when you're older. It's it's kind of like a grandma riding a motorcycle. It's like, what what are you doing, grandma? I'm going to Vegas! I'm gonna hit the slots. What? What don't you wouldn't you rather go make tea, Grandma, and maybe like have some crochet? No, I'm sucking!

SPEAKER_03 2:06

I'm gonna ride this and idiot. I got a side card, I got this crazy sidekick. Woohoo!

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Oh yeah. Grandma, do you do you need attention? No, no, no, no, no. This is me, this is authentic, Grandma. This seems a little desperate. No, no, no, no, no, this is this is wild! I'm gonna go skydiving like uh you know what? I've I think I'm getting carried away away. I haven't even introduced the show yet.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

I was gonna ask real quick if you heard the song uh bazooka? No. Alright, I'll read you some of the lyrics. Okay. Rest in peace, my granny, she got hit by a bazooka. Kaboom, kablau, kaboom. Rest in peace, my granny, she got hit by a bazooka. Yeah, I think about her every time I hit the hookah. Kaboom, kablau, kaboom. I was in my room trying to teach my little sister, but then I heard a boom and it sounded like a missile. Who that is, what that was. Oh, that granny. Oh, she gone. What the fuck they hit her with? What the fuck they hate her with? A fucking bazooka.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

That sounds like a guy who really loved his grandma. Like, yeah, like that that's honestly super fucking sweet. Like that's that's him like processing his grandma's death and like, man, I fell for him. Rest in peace, granny.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

She got hit by a bazooka.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

I mean, yeah, and uh and I'll and like I if I'm not mistaken, the thrust of the lyrics is my grandma got killed by a bazooka. That's fucked up. Like, yes, yes, uh sucks. I completely agree with you. That is horrible.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Now, I I want to know, like, I'll look it up after the show, but uh, I do want to know the backstory behind this, because like if this guy's grandmother actually did get hit by a bazooka, like R.I.P.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Like fuck it, fucking R.I.P. grandma. Yeah, dude. Alright, before we go any further, let me at least introduce the show. Uh, this is Slop Culture, the the Happy Hour podcast where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity of the I'm your host, Sam Sykes. With me is my co-host and cousin, Will Palmer. Uh, and typically we talk about a single movie. We're doing a new format here. It's called Sloppy Seconds. Uh, because typically what we do we try not to do anything too modern because everyone talks about that. Uh, you know, we're not really a current events podcast, but we both have a lot of free time and and are probably under-socialized in some way. So we cut we kind of have enough to say about something that we thought we'd try something a little different than the main sloppy, sloppy, slop culture podcast, and just sort of this is a little more free-flowing and more about current stuff. Uh like today, for example, I would love to talk to you about uh some developments in the movie world.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Okay, yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

This is this is it is this is June 10th, 2026, when we're recording this. So get this. So so dig this, Hepcat. Oh god. That flick about the fellow with the mustache and his green baby got booted off the box by some baby-faced punk named Kane Parsons, and a film about a girl like evil wishes. Uh well, no, she didn't. Uh it was the wish that did it. But listen, I'm just I haven't seen it, but but like the central thesis remains unchallenged. Uh Mandalorian and Grogu, which I have not seen and I don't think I'm going to see. Fair play. I'm not gonna try to criticize the movie too much, but it is getting absolutely moged.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

As the hit it's not been terribly received, like critically, it's not been super well received. It's just like, yeah, but it's getting fucking absolutely dumpstered in Montero later.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

It is sort of it is it is sort of it is sort of being damned with faint praise at the moment, right? Like, and that's that's what makes it very hard to critique uh or you know, what we do here is not really critique, so I'm just gonna say talk shit about like what we do is talk shit, and it makes it very hard to talk shit about Star Wars and Marvel movies because it's impossible to dispute like the tier of their quality, you know? Like the special effects are all very good, the costume design is great. Nob nobody's accusing Pedro Pascal of being a bad actor. Uh fucking he's good at what he does, and like fucking the first season of The Mandalorian was very well received.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Like Yeah. I liked uh I liked uh the first two seasons of that show really well. Bill Burr has a fucking phenomenal role in the Mandalorian.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

He should have I like Bill Burr as an actor. I like his comedy too, but I'm saying he has very good uh acting chops.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

He actually has like a really good, like like you know, very he's like a side character, right? But when he shows up, he has this incredible plot line. I think season two that goes over at least one episode is really, really good if you haven't seen it. And he gets uh flex his dramatic chops too.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I did see him uh in Breaking Bad. And I thought he was I thought he was exquisite there. And like what I think you can say about Bill Burr as an actor is that like he makes the most of the space he has. He's never trying to be the lead character, but he's just trying to be distinct. And like because he's Bill Burr, he knows exactly how to like grab attention and like without being like annoying or fucking. Yeah, yeah. And once and once he's got yeah, and once he's got that tension, he's once he's got that attention, he's very good at sort of like slowly reeling it out like a fish, you know? Like reverse fish, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

Uh but no, no, for sure. Um what was I gonna say? I forget, it can't have been that fucking important. Oh, right, Mandalorian and Grogu. Mandalorian. I mean, like what are they gonna just like as a hypothetical, like what are they gonna do next? Like they already did like the cute little little Grog little Grogu guy, like kind of I would say it's a bottom of the barrel, creativity-wise, but it's you know, it's not the most original thing just to be like, okay, here's a cute little thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Uh well, I was gonna say I think Skeleton Crew was the next one, but I found out I think that already debuted and it did, yeah. And has passed through memory. Uh so I think the next one is Starfighter starring Ryan Gosling, which I like Ryan Gosling, dude. I like Ryan Gosling too, but there is almost kind of a twinge of of sympathy for an actor who ends up in a Marvel movie or like a Star Wars movie. Yeah, like a Disney. Yeah, yeah, it's and that's the thing, is like it's not saying like, oh, your reputation's gonna take a hit, like, oh, this won't look good on your cinematography. No, not that. I'm just like there it it is it is a mixed blessing to have the mouse in your life.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Like, oh that company's not gonna treat you like a human being, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Like, and and allegedly like you might end up because like it's it's this weird situation where Marvel movies are still very well made and like still very well acted, like, of course, top-tier fucking talent all all across the board. But they're not really good either.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Like Yeah, I mean, you know, I would say like when a Marvel movie sticks out as like really good, it's more a feature like you know, one actor or like a maybe one or two actors, or just doing something really cool with that specific hero.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

It's never just like Yeah, yeah, like it feels kind of like a fluke, right? Because like, and like I'm sorry that I know that sounds harsh, but you know, we're we're this is this is real talk. This is sloppy seconds, bitch. This is this is slop culture after dark.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Well you keep it a hundred, dude. Ten toes down.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

This is Baywatch Nights. This is David Hasselhoff solving crimes with a vampire.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Wait, was is that a thing?

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I think that was what Baywatch Nights was, actually. Like I think there was a vampire episode.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

But it was that's that's tricky for them, right? Because they can't cross running water, so like being at a beach, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:39

I guess you know you could you could make the argument that uh an ocean isn't running, technically an ocean is not running because it's where running water runs to.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

So oh shit, yeah, good point. Imagine getting into like a logistics argument with like a vampire.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

I would no no shit. I would absolutely love that, where like a vampire tries to trick a lawyer into inviting him in and just the lawyer fucking like arguing him down every fucking time. And the vampire's like like halfway through, he like he's like, he's just trying to he's like, all right, you know what? Fuck this, whatever. Like, I'm trying to go, but the but the lawyer's like oh no, no, no, no, you have aggressed upon my property. We agree that this was a trespass. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

And you know what? This state is castle doctrine. Like I've often heard that one of the most intimidating sounds that like a home intruder can hear is like the sound of a shotgun being pumped. Right. I would tend to agree, but I would say like that it was someone that's slightly more intimidating is uh just a chainsaw getting revved up.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

I will say I think the scariest thing uh to for a home intruder to hear would be like softly singing some kind of show tune, or like maybe some maybe something from the Jackson 5. Okay. And like yeah, you know, like uh but like fuck it, fuck it, like guys and dolls, guys and dolls, but or like cats, like like oh cats, McCavity's a mystery cat. But like drawn out very horror-like, it's like yeah, there's weird distortions added to it.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Yeah, yeah, it's like jellico songs for jellico cats.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Like yeah, and then it'll cut in the middle to just someone screaming like please help me! Then it goes back to jellico!

SPEAKER_04 12:43

Right?

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Yeah, that's fucking freaky.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

What if you dated a uh girl but she talked like that? Like she just had what what would you like to do tonight? Will yum? How would you be cool with that? She looks like she looks like a very cleaned up uh let's say 31-year-old Sadako.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Like like from the ring?

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah, yeah. So like still pretty creepy, but like cleaned up, you know. She walks like a creature? No, no, she walks like a person, but her hair is still kind of like in her face.

unknown 13:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Like if you can picture, like you if you can picture like a slightly more like sitcom friendly Sadako. So like Okay. Maybe instead of a dress, she's got kind of a grungy hoodie. Like you can tell.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Yeah, I was thinking like she's got sweats.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Yes, sweats on, and like kind of uh and like her hair is kind of all in her face, and she like kind of has to she kind of looks up with her eyes instead of like raising her head to meet you.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Like like she's like eating noodles, but like spilling the sauce everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Like doesn't really like complete complete fucking gremlin, like fucking uh fucking like hot pockets everywhere, and like fucking.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

She's just leaving like unflushed tampons in the toilet. And you're just like, dude, what's right? You're like, dude, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 14:06

You can't you can't flush those, those will back up the plumbing. Exactly. It's doubly bad. So like the whole movie is basically a rom-com where you basically try to teach uh uh a URE ghost self-confidence. How do you like that?

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Okay, I mean I I do like the teaching the ghost self-confidence.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

I like Can I Can I sell you a ticket to that? Stick me. How do you like that? As like, can I sell you a ticket to that? Like, I'll pitch you a movie and I'll say, Can I sell you a ticket to that?

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. How's that for a matinee? How's that for a matinee? How's that for an afternoon with you, sweetie? What are you guys doing back there?

SPEAKER_01 14:48

You making out? Uh no, no, we're just trying to watch the movie. Are you making out while you're watching the movie? No, no, no, dude. We just really wanted to see the movie. You got a hole cut in that popcorn bucket? Please leave us alone. And then like shot crack.

SPEAKER_03 15:05

Yeah. Either you put a hole in that popcorn bucket or I'll put a hole in you, partner.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

You've got a hole in you, buddy. Can I sell you? And he's already got a huge popcorn bucket like on his cock. Just like dumping butter out all over the seats.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

I hate that.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Just slopping butter, like hot butter everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

I hate the idea of a popcorn bucket on someone's lap bursting with butter. Like, I just hate that. I hate you for making that.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Oh, yeah. He stands up and he's just and then, like, you know, like obviously he's got like pretty bad burns on his dick and like thighs and stuff because there's hot butter leaking everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

He's just been like, Yeah, I was I was gonna say, like, there are some movies that make the popcorn whole whole thing look like like widespread, but it seemed very risky. It seemed like, bro, just get a hand job. Yeah, like like just come just just fucking broach the subject. You fucking go down on her, you fucking ask for a favor, it's cool, everything's great.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Um but I've never gone down on a chick in a movie theater.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

I mean, that's a little harder, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Right, just logistically, you'd have to be in like um Yeah, because what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Lean over?

SPEAKER_00 16:22

You'd have to go to like the Alamo draft house or something, probably.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Yeah, you'd need you need but even then, like you've got you've got fucking big armrests, so you'd have to go like Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

I mean, you just gotta get out of your fucking chair. You just gotta like take a knee, spread the legs, and just you know.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

If you're going down on someone, man or woman, uh-huh in the Alamo Drafthouse. There's fucking waiters going in and out. That's fucking that's not a great idea. That's not like like to be clear, this is not a great idea either. I'm just saying, like in like a normal fucking Harkin. And like I think I'm hoping that like some I hope there's just some theater manager out there listening to this right now, and he just has this thought like I should I should put up a sign. Oh my god, people are doing oh god, no, no oral. Hey, no oral, hey, he's got like a cafeteria tray and he bangs it on a t- Hey!

SPEAKER_00 17:15

You know, like those uh warnings before the movie is like, please turn off your phone, like in and also no oral.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

This this elderly white dude in like glasses, like please, for the consideration of all your fellow moviegoers, no conolingus and no Palacio.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Yeah, and then uh fucking um Nicole is like sitting there just like and no analingus at the wondrous movies.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Whatever, and no analingus scene, yeah. It's got like celebrity fucking cameos doing like a public service. Uh like the rock is like, hey, you know what's not cool is performing Conolingus on your girlfriend.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

In the background, there's like a montage of like the history of cinema, and like he just comes in and like breaks a couple up. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

Don't do that, don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

He's got like a can of nickels and a flashlight.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Fucking Glenn close.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Glenn Close, oh god. Handsome and stern presence on any of those.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

If Glenn Close asked me not to perform or receive oral in a movie theater, I would I would do it. Out of respect. Yeah, I mean out of respect, out of respect. Do it for the story. If Glenn Close, yeah, like if Glenn Close showed up at a bar and I was about to go home with someone and she's like, Don't do it, I'd be like, Thank you, Glenn Close, I won't.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Yeah, that she just passes by and gives you like one piece of like life-saving advice.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah, like everybody gets saved by Glenn Close once.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

You get one close call and then Oh my god! Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

From the top rope. Yeah, can I sell you a ticket to that?

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Speaking of selling tickets, though, um, you watched a couple movies this year, one more recently.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

I just want to point out that the Star Wars movies are so uninteresting that we ended up going from a conversation about them to how you should not perform or receive oral sex in a movie.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

Comendorian and Grogu movie.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

And in fact, we created like an entire code of conduct about it.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

In a big advertisement.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

But yes, enough about Star Wars. I would love to tell you about who's currently mogging them. Yes. And we mentioned this on a previous episode of Slop Culture. Uh, Will, I'm just gonna come out and ask you have you heard the good news about Kane Parsons?

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Some I do remember like uh we decided that he sounds like a fighting game character who probably probably used like daggers.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

He kind of sounds like he could fit a lot of things. Like, that sounds like uh uh like a an evil pol political opponent in like a political thriller. It does Congressman Kane Parsons.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Yeah, I approve Kane Parsons all in favor of the bill to dump nuclear waste in orphanages.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

Aye Yeah, or like the villainous CEO of like a futuristic corporation who's like Absolutely, like like he's like some fucking villain out of hackers, like oh the plague.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

He's one of those like fucking techno villains.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yeah, dude, he's longboarding everywhere and snagging floppy discs before skiing.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Yeah, yeah, like like he's some kind of he's some kind of like surfing villain or something. Like Kate Pot. He could also be like a high school jog. It's just a very good villain name. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

He's also uh I believe like 14 years old.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

He's actually three.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

And it's actually three, it's like three three-year-olds stacked together in a trench coat.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

He's actually he's got them all fooled. And Hollywood fell for it again. No, he's he's actually four years old, and his co-workers say he's a fucking nightmare to work with because every time they give him fucking notes, he just starts crying and asking for a juice box. Like, what a f eating a lot of crayons. So fucking unprofessional.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

We kid Cain Parsons.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

We sound like actually, you will never like I will I am about to slide into my genuine glazing. And because this is a masculine podcast, you know, we have to do the manly thing and bust someone's chops before we speak earnestly. Oh, of course, yeah. Otherwise, just rundown. Kane Parsons is a filmmaker, he did not invent the backrooms, the backrooms as a concept emerged on 4chan. With a meme or or a post of of a yellow office hallway that seemed to go on forever. And someone wrote a lovely little piece of like empty too, right?

SPEAKER_00 22:11

There's like absolutely no furniture or anything. Just yellow walls and yellows.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yellow walls, yellow carpet, yellow, yellow fluorescent lighting. And someone wrote a a fan fiction about it being the place you end up if if you know clip out of reality.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Which is a very cool concept.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

A very cool concept. And that was like in the early 2000s. So we're dealing with like what is relatively ancient history at this point. Relatively old internet lore. Yeah. And then around 2019, Kane Parsons, then going by Kane Pixels on YouTube, starts using Blender and an old camcorder to make an analogue horror about someone who no clips through reality and ends up in the back room and ends up being chased by something in the back room.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Yeah, and he does a great job of from what I've seen. I've only seen a few like bits of it.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

He does an ex an excellent job.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

It's so good. The creature is very much like implied in a like for the most part in a really, really haunting, like anxiety-inducing way.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

He uh he was only like 16 at this point, I think, and he uh he ha he already had a very good grasp of timing and tension and atmosphere. Yeah, real talent. So like absolute talent, and like I do, I do generally believe that you should put praise work over talent, but when someone's just fucking like so he makes about like five films in this in this series, and then he calls it quits, he doesn't keep fucking milking it. He makes another film series called The Oldest View, which is about a guy who gets trapped in an underground mall and gets chased gets chased by a rolling giant. Oh, who was the for and it it there's this there's this impression that it was a town that never really existed or once existed and now no longer does. And Silent Hill stuff. It's their memory. Yes, yes, he's very much a fucking uh sort of a uh a sepia colored silent hill guy, you know? Like if I say that, yeah, yeah, you get me, you get me. So, like, all this to say, I have been a backrooms fan for a really long time. I fucking I love all of this. Like, this is my favorite kind of horror. Existential horror, atmospheric horror, a horror where the antagonist is a place. Like uh, you know, the term genus loci or uh genus locus, I think might be the singular.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

That's the origin point.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

That is a that is a uh that is a word that I learned reading the Book of Vile Darkness for D D 3.5 edition.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

Lit I mean 3.5, that's hardcore shit right there.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Oh, yeah, that's the old school, but uh this guy knows ball audience. This guy knows ball, but uh it was basically the idea of a place that through some manner of like maybe suffusing it with human emotions or just magic, whatever, the place itself is sentient and reality warps to its specifications, not to any other laws. I've always loved that idea, you know. Like I think that's kind of at the root of a lot of horror, like haunted house horrors, for one, I think. Uh that's very much like this place is alive and it doesn't want us here. Bro, event horizon. Event horizon. Like horizon?

SPEAKER_03 25:41

I have if we're going, we won't need eyes to see.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

See, yeah, dude. It would have been it would have been really funny if like if after he had delivered that line, he started walking and he like Paul Chris shit. And he's just like, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_03 25:56

I'm fine, I'm fine. No, no, you're going, you're going to hell. You're going to hell. Like you're going to space hell. It's super super bad. You're going to space hell. That's worse.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

Actually, it's better in some ways, but worse than others. Like, there's still zero gravity, so it's kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

But yeah, it's cold. It's it's always cold.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

It's always cold. It's not hot. A lot of people think space hell would be hot, but no, it's actually too cold.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

These are space hell demons.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

They're just like Yeah, they're trying to sell you on it.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yeah, they're like trying to convince you it's cooler. Like, all right, you like you like Warhammer, right? Oh, is it like the war? Well, no, not not really, not really. Um not really.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

It's uh it's like an onboarding thing we say, but the not really a lot of similarities.

SPEAKER_03 26:36

But like it's not it's not totally dissimilar.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Uh but yeah, like I've loved the back room, and I love this uh the central premise of the backrooms, and what Kane Pixels Parsons, sorry, uh elaborates on in his original films is he keeps finding stuff that isn't quite right, like furniture that is like there are features that show up like adventures.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

There are features.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

It's not just empty. Uh like you know, there uh the the whole thrust of the of the backrooms, and I'm gonna I'm really gonna try to stop saying thrust. I've I feel like we're getting a little too risque here. I feel like we're risking our very cultivated uh demureness here. Oh but uh there's things there that aren't quite right, you know? There's doors in walls and in ceilings, and some of the doors are too small and some have too many knobs. And like there's chairs, but some of the chairs have too many legs, and some of the chairs are fused together in a weird way. Like ways that look kind of like what we're what we're used to, but not quite. There's something not quite right about it.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

What if there was like a door that was like like just like a cut out of you?

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Something actually close to that.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Like you shaped the movie. Like you gotta open it and just like you gotta fit yourself through.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

What if like it was you-shaped and you're and you're like, oh, oh, it's like it's like uh the Junji Ito Amigara Fault comic, and then like you pull open the door, and then there's like a paper there that says, No, it isn't. This is something this is something new, and then like you open the door behind that. It's like actually, you know, Junji Ito copied it from us. Didn't you didn't know that, did you? Yeah, it's just like increasingly defensive messages.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Yeah, I'm sorry, as you're slowly puzzling out like how the haunted house just like stole everything from yeah, like artists like like clearly, clearly, uh yeah, it's just a plagiarist house.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Yeah, and the way to defeat it is to just like cite the sources properly, like yeah, like and like at the end you don't die, but it lets you go and then steals your last line and says you're like they say, like, any landing you can walk away from, and then of course, like, oh yeah, any landing you can walk away from. I said that goddamn you plagiarist house. Uh but this brings us all the way to the year of 2026. Uh Kane Parsons has directed a feature film for A24.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

It's called Back Rooms, I believe.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Called Back Rooms. No the Back Rooms. Uh, but if anyone says the backrooms, I mean what what else could they be talking about? That's a fair point. Uh I have seen it. And I fucking loved it. And I just I wanted to go I really liked the so good text. I I hit you with the so good text right after I left, and then a couple of hours later I wanted to let you know again that it was so good. So good. And like I really fucking loved it. I loved it so much, I'm actually going to go see it again in like two hours.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Are you uh you feel like there was like um stuff that's like confusing the first time, or are you like just going to re-watch and re-enjoy the same scenes, or are there things you're specifically going in, like looking for oh I want to figure out more about like X, or I want to focus on like seeing how they they filmed Y.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

So I'm I'm just gonna lead with my uh with the highest praise I think I can get this film. It is an anti-jump scare, but it does not encourage you to look away. It it has these very big, wide, confident shots that show the whole scenery, and it gives it has this kind of like uh the same quality from like the shining.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

You know how like how it made like hotel halls feel like yeah, the way it designed that set too was like to deliberately like not make sense of subconsciously. Yeah, it's like fucking the whole time. That's good stuff, that's really good stuff, and that's the backrooms.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Uh but uh I it because it encourages you to kind of look at these broad shots, I do have questions, and I feel like those questions are probably lurking somewhere in plain sight. You know? Like uh I I feel like and I'm gonna I'm gonna try very hard not to spoil, like, because Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:12

Don't spoil shit because I'm planning on it real soon.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Yeah, and like we are we are still in the statute of limitations. Uh for like I think like for for a really good movie, like three weeks is decent, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Oh yeah, yeah. Two and a half, three weeks, like especially depending on like like if it's like a a Star Wars movie, for example, I would say like it's less. If it's like a more original picture like this, like yeah, you should give it some more time.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Yeah, yeah, give it some more room to breathe. Plus, like this movie is just very experiential, you know? Like it's I I I don't wanna I feel like it's lame to say, oh, it's an experience, but like, yeah, it it it does kind of demand attention. It's kind of it's kind of atmospheric, it's fucking it's fucking very like stew in it, you know? Like it it encourages you to wallow in it, and that really lends to the otherworldly aspect of it because it feels so big and so infinite.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

I was thinking, like, you know, you remember those like pretty short-lived, I think like like 4D effects or whatever the fuck things in like theaters. What if like for horror movies they had something where it would like you could just like feel someone like breathing on the back of your neck?

SPEAKER_01 32:25

That'd be badass.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Or that'd be freaky as fuck. Or oh uh.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

I was just thinking like, what if you go in like the there's there's there's this fucking like there's like there's like clerk, and maybe he's I don't know, like five foot eight. Okay, and like and like maybe he's not the best ken't fellow. Sure. And he says, would would you like to try our 4D experience? And you're like, yeah, sure. You're you're like, yeah, sure. He's like, all right, here, put on these 3D glasses. And then he shows you to a fucking theater, but there's only one seat. Yeah, yeah, I'm I see where this is going. And like you feel someone breathing, but it's it's like you feel all these effects, but it's just him. It's just him, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

He's just spraying you with like a water bottle and he's like spritzing you, hitting you with like a hand fan, he's like he's like turning a blow dryer on you.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

He's like, he's like kind of just like he's he's just like clapping behind you. He's just like the next generation it into the ceiling.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Like John of Utah.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Yeah, during during action sequences.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

Oh my god, yeah, you're just wee in your ears and things raining down around you.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Like in a horror movie, he's like cutting himself and throwing his blood on you, and he's just going like, ah, like why did you bump in the 40 tickets?

SPEAKER_03 33:52

Oh, why do we keep selling this?

SPEAKER_02 33:55

Why is it so popular?

SPEAKER_03 33:57

Why does everyone like this so much? Why do I keep doing it?

SPEAKER_00 34:01

And I turn over to him and be like, Well, I can't eat pussy, so it took me a second to realize you were coming full circle.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Oh, yeah. I don't know if that sounded like something extremely funny for like, like the way you said it was kind of like a 1950s dad. Like, well, I can't eat pussy, so yeah. Guess it's time for missionary.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Sorry, sorry, but um yeah, shout out to doing doggy style or something crazy in the 50s. You probably fucking went to super prison if you did doggy.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

You went to space hell.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Set you up in Sputnik.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

If you did doggy style in fucking in fucking 1950s America.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

You were done. They sent you straight to Space Hell to defend the front lines against Russian cosmonauts.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Yeah, that's actually what the Rosenbergs got caught for. It wasn't nuclear secrets, it was they they did doggy style.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

They did it, it was just like, we gotta make this, we gotta do something.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

Oh my god. They were convicted of trading state secrets, but that's just what they called it at the time. Yeah, it was a euphemism because like the news couldn't print the Me and the Mississi uh were trading state secrets last night. Oh, really? Yeah, we met around the back.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Oh fucking got him. But Backrooms you said is very good, and to briefly touch on uh is great.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

There was another movie that you really liked earlier this year that I still have yet to see again, but I actually feel really bad about not seeing this one yet. Gonna make a project to watch it sometime in the next like three, four days. But Iron Lung.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Iron Lung, uh, which has another interesting uh origin story. I I'm pretty sure everyone knows who Markiplier is.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Famous YouTuber, uh, enthusiastic horror gamer, and collector of uh ivory, like uh a lot of like ivory scrimshaws. Like he's actually gotten some heat for that, but it's a cool thing.

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Yes, he has a very ex he has a very extensive whalebone collection. And I I really love the idea that Markiplier just has a hall of skeletons.

SPEAKER_00 36:18

Yeah, and they all have like intricate carvings on them.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

Yeah, just like he's just slowly they're like all from different creatures, but he's been slowly assembling them into something.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

He wants to build like a fucking megazord out of all the fucking skeletons.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

He's creating a new life form, and he's like, There's nowhere left to go but godhood.

SPEAKER_01 36:43

So before he finished that project, he made Iron Long before he tried to achieve ascendance. Uh he made Iron Lung, which was a horror game. Uh also a very uh kind of a genre of micro horror, similar in the in scope to like Five Nights at Freddy's, where there's like a number of actions but it's all mostly. And I really liked the movie. I thought it was very passionate. Like uh and I I do think Mark a player can actually fucking act.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Like like uh I was which is important because he's like the main president. It's like mostly him inside a small submarine, right?

SPEAKER_01 37:21

I admired the hell out of that. It was a single set, uh well, mostly a single set. There were like uh there was like one or two shots at the end. Uh, but it was a mostly a single set movie of just a s and mostly uh just a handful of actors. He was the only physical actor. There were some characters who like chimed in over a loudspeaker, uh, but like mostly it was just his physical presence selling it. And he did really well. Like he could really fucking sell what he was doing, and the dude's got a very genuine eye for atmosphere.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

And you know, fake blood, dude.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

I I really respect the hell out of uh Oh yeah, he he broke some kind of record, I think, for using the most fake blood.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Because I think previously, and again, I'm just kind of firing from the hapier, but I think previously it was held by the movie uh Project Wolf Hunting, which I actually made a drinking game out of, and I almost gave myself alcohol pull. Um what what was the drink every time condition? Um I think it was every time someone got killed in a way that made either me or my friends just go like, ooh! Oh wow. So high praise. So wolf hunting is what it's called? Uh I think it was Project Wolf Hunting. I believe it's a Korean movie. But that I think shout out previously had the record, but isn't that well no?

SPEAKER_01 38:38

I was gonna say, isn't that fun? Markiplier is half Korean and he just seized USA USA USA USA USA USA We do love Korean uh Korea though, all our Korean uh friends out there and Korean listeners fucking love you guys.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

Great country. Mad respect.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

Uh but the talk right now about this is like because because uh this is the movie business and we can't have anything nice. Right, uh the talk now is like, oh, people just want young directors now. And that's all they want. So like because at the same time, we're not gonna go in too into this, but like Obsession by Curry Barker. He's only like 28 or something.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

Yeah, and we have not seen it, uh, but it's gotten phenomenal reviews, looked real.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Phenomenal reviews, and it's it's fucking doing extremely well.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

It's like it's I think it's tiny budget, extremely successful.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Yeah, seems like it's around it by all accounts, and m magnificent acting from what I've seen. So, like, absolutely deserves its success. But like Hollywood is like thinking, for one, I don't actually think Hollywood is thinking, oh, we just they want young directors. I think some of them are gonna take that away. I think what's what's much more likely is we're gonna get like some fucking heavily watered down trilogy led by fucking Paul Rudd, named like the Behind Places or something. Uh-oh. The behind places. Yeah, and like Paul Rudd is like goes in, he's like, he like lands in this alternate weird dimension where nothing makes sense, and he's like, Okay, uh this is weird. Or like, just walks around like, geez, reminds me of my ex-wife.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

Or there's like a movie adaptation of Undertale starring Chris Pratt.

SPEAKER_03 40:21

Oh no! Oh my god, like oh fucking that's completely bad. That hurts. That hurts. That hurts so bad, bro. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

He plays all the characters, he's plays all the, but he's still Chris Pratt for all the characters. I actually do like Chris Pratt's physical acting, but like he in the movies, he like voice over roles, he does seem to just be Chris Pratt.

unknown 40:46

Right.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

But he's not alone. Which is Chris Pratt seems like you know, he's got charisma and everything, but like, you know.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Well, he's not alone in that either. Like the fucking there's a ton of movies that are like, oh, let's do the character, let's let's do the character, but they're played by the rock. Oh, what's the character? Oh, it's just the rock.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Yeah, like it's it's the rock do it saying the rock things, doing the rock stuff, but he's on a cartoon. But like, I I here's what I want to say, and this is this is what I really want to say about the backrooms, and I'm going to do this without spoiling. Every horror movie since we've started making horror movies has been about the fear of something, and that fear of something has usually been about things in our lives. You know, like early, early ass fucking movies were about fear of foreigners. Uh fucking 70s movies were about fear of the fucking devil and fear of like morals getting corrupted and slashers attacking you if you got fucking moralized. The 90s were like about the fear of fucking be uh of like nothing being a f scary anymore and like still dying anyways, with like scream and shit. What the backrooms is afraid of is fakery. It's fakeness, it's fraud. Interesting. Because everything in the movie is not quite right, but it's trying to be. And there's something, and you know, like there's there's that old saying that like uh we developed a fear of the uncanny because long ago, before before recorded history, we needed to be afraid of things that looked like us, but not quite. Yeah, I need to be afraid like everything, but like that stuff, especially. Yeah, yeah, but because it looks like it's trying to lure you in. And like, you know, like it's it's fucking it's like the concept of like, oh, you know, throw in a a shiny worm on a hook, and you're like, oh, look at these stupid fish. Haha. Like they they don't see it, but like to the fish, of course they don't fucking get it. So like if if there is something big bigger than you hunting you, you're not gonna notice what it is that they use to lure you in either.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

That's damn, that's a good point. Yeah, we tell you. That's creepy, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

Yeah, like like it's because it's on the pole and it's looking down, and you're in the river. Like, oh fuck. Uh, and that's what this movie is afraid of. It's afraid of something trying to be authentically human, but failing. It's about something that is like us, and perhaps even that thing that it is like is comforting in some way. But it's fake. And the fakeness that's unnerving. Is fake is unnerving, but it's also fake in so it's it's fake in some very crucial, important way that makes us scared. You know, it's the same fear of knowing someone is lying straight to your face. Oh fuck. Yeah. It's the it's it's that fear of something being not quite right. And what's worse, it's almost worse. That it's being not quite right in an attempt to please you, you know? There's something kind of unnerving about that.

SPEAKER_00 44:09

Oh, yeah, because you know it's reflecting a view, but it's like wrong.

SPEAKER_01 44:14

Yeah, it's wrong and it's uh it's just uh it's it's it's it's creepy and it's it's it's unsettling.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

Uh it's like a fun house mirror that smiles at you when you're not smiling.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like that is what this movie was, and that's the highest praise I can give it. I I've been a fan of the backrooms for a long time, so like I'm just being forward with that bias. But I fucking love that movie, and I hope that people go see it or stream it or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 44:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:55

Um now in a very like uh subtle segue, I am gonna uh uh pivot a little bit to uh you know we were talking a little bit about where these um various franchises might go and how they might kind of be over milked or you know misuse uh yeah and at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 45:15

Like these are good uh like beginnings for these things, and we celebrate good beginnings in like but we don't really know where they're going. And from you know long hard experience, oh god, pause.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

Um hard experience.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

God fucking damn it. Smoke, smoke William Palmer. It's a long, hard, excarting experience.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

It's fifty years in a single smoke. Make you feel like a mill worker.

SPEAKER_00 45:46

It yeah, Palmers, long palmers, you're gonna have a bad time. And it's just like a two-pound tobacco leaf that you just light on fire and stick in your mouth. It's not rolled up at all. It's just you chew it.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

Yeah, while it's on fire, you're chewing it. While it's on fire, it just won't go out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

So, you know, um, you know, we're kind of I think understandably nervous about where these things might go because, you know, we as a society have a lot of experience with beloved properties kind of uh screwing the pooch on the on the landing there.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

It has it has it has been like almost almost half a decade worth of kind of movie uh TV shows ending underwhelmingly, hasn't it?

SPEAKER_04 46:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

Uh and like what what recently spurs this on is the boys, right?

SPEAKER_00 46:42

Yeah, yeah. Um which I watched. I don't know if you watched it.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

I watched the first season, uh, but I read the comics. I read the comics, so I'm I'm not sure. Those were fucking insane. The comics were nuttier, I heard. Uh very much so. Than how Homelander ended. And like And just in, well, I mean, yeah, we don't need to get it.

SPEAKER_00 47:01

So well, yeah, just just g just give me your thoughts then. Like I did not dislike the finale. Um I could see why people did. Um, especially in like the context of some of the like advertising for like the last season, you know. They focus so much like Homelander flying above the earth with like nuclear bombs going off, and then for the final episode, they have this great image of like Billy Butcher walking toward the White House with like Homelander and like dozens of superheroes like floating above it, and like none of that shit even came close to happening. And like Yeah, that was the most disappointing thing I think for everybody was like the whole series has just been like leading up to like, yeah, when's Homelander gonna go nuts and just start laser eyeing fucking thousands of people? And he just like never does. Yeah, he gets like a big apparently a big power-up part way through the season that just does like essentially nothing. Um, so I didn't like that, and also I thought that throughout the final season, like the bad guys just kind of like kept killing each other off in underwhelming ways.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Yeah, uh, and you know, like that's kind of what you tune into the boys for is like very exciting gore, right?

SPEAKER_00 48:03

Like that's always exciting gore and like clever like I clever the boys like outsmarted the superheroes, and then this one is just like uh no homelander just got annoyed with her and just mashed her head on a statue. Oh, it's uh it's a bald eagle statue. Like that symbolism could be symbolism.

SPEAKER_01 48:19

Very much a like like uh let's wrap things up energy, right?

SPEAKER_00 48:22

Right. And the last episode like f opens with the confrontation with Homelander and then goes on from there to like Butcher's plan to like uh Carl Urban's plan to kill all the superheroes on the w in the world, right? And I thought both of those like individually were handled like pretty well. Like expensive. Like I will say that the uh the boys all the way through, including the last season, phenomenal acting. Really fun, uh really fun like set designs, good costume work, great costume work, effects, tons of fun. Um such good acting. But yeah, I did feel like underwhelmed, I guess, by the final season. Like the last half of the last episode where Huey has to stop Butcher was handled very well and pretty similar to the comics, which and that was a good, very good part of the comics. Uh so I like that, okay. And um I think maybe I like that softened my opinion of the episode more compared to some people, because I assigned a lot of importance to how that final confrontation was handled.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

Right. Um So I didn't I didn't dislike it as much as a lot of other people would have. I'd give it as a finale, I'd give it like a 6.5 out of 10.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

Yeah, that's that's pretty good. This keeps happening, you know?

SPEAKER_00 49:37

Like I heard Stranger Things. I fell off Stranger Things after a couple seasons, but I heard the finale of that was atrocious.

SPEAKER_01 49:42

I could only go two two seasons, uh, and then I was like, I'm I'm good. Like I I see where this is going. I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Yeah, but I generally saw people who are discussing it uh seem to agree like the boys was like the least bad out of that, and then Stranger Things was like pretty bad, and then of course there's like the goat of like all disappointing endings, right?

SPEAKER_01 50:03

Our boys Game of Thrones.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Yep. Oh, I was talking about Breaking Bad.

SPEAKER_01 50:09

Breaking Bad was a disappointing ending. I was gonna say I love Breaking Bad's ending.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

Yeah, it was fucking like a 10 out of 10.

SPEAKER_01 50:16

Like Oh, yeah, no, that was that was perfect.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

Like, I was just even better than the Sopranos ending.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

Like it's like Oh, completely. Like that ruled.

SPEAKER_00 50:23

You can't beat you can't beat Felina, you can only match it.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Exactly. Exactly. Um yeah, Game of Thrones has not been that great.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

Fucking uh been that great, dude. That final like season the final like two seasons were just That's true.

SPEAKER_01 50:38

I I rem I I remember tapping out at the Siege of Winterfell. I'm like, I I'm good. I think I'm good. Wow, yeah. I don't even mind it for the same reasons everyone else, like, oh like oh it's it's fucked up that Arya Stark got to kill him. Like, no, I think that's dark as hell.

SPEAKER_00 50:56

I couldn't see shit in that episode.

SPEAKER_01 50:58

Yeah, but it's just dark as hell. It's like, oh well this isn't this isn't that this isn't that fun, you know?

SPEAKER_00 51:03

Like it wasn't that fun to watch. I didn't know what the fuck was happening.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

Uh like, but I mean that's been dissected to death. I think what you can really use to decide how well an ending goes is by how long people talk about it afterwards, you know? Okay. And like like Stranger Things I don't think anyone really talks about Stranger Things that much. I think some people are still talking about the boys' ending, i.e. us, but uh yeah. You know, like fucking uh the witcher completely like disappeared from conversation. Yeah, because I mean Yeah, we we we all know, and like I'm sorry to I'm sorry, Liam Hemsworth, the black prince, like fucking there are some forests even into which even we cannot follow you.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

Yeah, this is fucked up, but like in in my head when I when we were like just like bringing this up for the first time, like in my head I just thought, like, yeah, after Henry Cavill left, like I guess they just didn't have a Witcher. I just forgot that Liam had been but I just noticed that the arrow was because it just makes sense, like you know, it would be believable if they took the Witcher out of the Witcher at this point.

SPEAKER_01 52:10

Yeah, no, like he was barely there for a lot of it. Uh fucking and yet I fucking loved the first season, and I love the first season of Game of Thrones, and I love the first season of the boys.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

And like So where is it that they lose their way? Because, you know, a lot of it it seems to kind of have this accelerating downward kind of like once it starts to get bad, then maybe you got like half a season or maybe a season to rescue it, but then it's right into the fucking mountainside.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Yeah, um well you know what? You know what is uh Breaking Bad did not really overstay its welcome after the pivotal action, right?

SPEAKER_00 52:45

Like No, no. Like the yeah, the climax of like a lot of the drama was in Ozzy Mandius.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um like like I don't I don't think there was a lot of like m going through the motions with uh Breaking Bad. Like I think once uh right after the cartel got whacked, uh I think it was pretty quick to start to whack Gustavo, and then whack uh fucking uh and then like from there everything just fell apart pretty quick. And then I think that's actually not a terrible way to put look at it, is like as the stakes escalate, so do they accelerate, and like you know, the earlier uh breaking bads, because we were still getting acquainted with these characters, we were more leisurely about it, and we were soaking in atmosphere, and because there was way more of uh Walt figuring things out and like coming to terms with his new life in the later seasons, he was just he was very confident and capable, and he kept going, you know, like because he had changed as a character.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

And so the the still never machine gunned anybody until the finale of the whole series, and he did that in a clever way, too. And it felt earned, it felt satisfying to like see that character do yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:05

Yeah, yeah. And like I know that's a fucking really vague way to put it, is like, oh, it was satisfying, like, yes, obviously. But like there's no good way, there's no like mathematical formula to it, because if there were, everyone would do that.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

Yeah, I'm thinking too, like, um, comparing like say Breaking Bad and the Boys, right? I think maybe part of the problem with the boys was it did overstay its welcome due to, I think, like Homelander, just the character himself, like so much of the show is not only like, okay, like when is he gonna freak the fuck out and start doing crazy shit, crazier than usual, uh, but also like how long are the main characters like gonna be able to stay alive? Because like that motherfucker is like evil Superman, like they're just normal people for the most part. Like, they're gonna end up getting dumpstered at some point, right?

SPEAKER_01 54:51

Yeah, and you know, like like you know, Seinfeld had it when he fucking ended his like I know we're talking about very different shows, but you know, like he ended when it was still good, and that was the right call.

SPEAKER_00 55:02

Um so I think that um yeah, I guess like the overstaying their welcome is is a problem of it, but then at the same time you have to kind of counterbalance that with the Game of Thrones thing was like kind of the opposite, right? Because I personally I didn't mind like where most of the characters ended up. Like I think everybody agrees that Brand being king was was d kinda dumb. At the same time, though, even that I think could have been set up in a way that yeah, it could have been sold. They needed to take more time with it, and because they were greedy about Star Wars, the two creators, they just decided to make everybody do stupid shit so they could get to the points where they needed to be, instead of taking the time to naturally get it there.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

God, what a poem though. Was it what a poem of that, you know, like fuck up the ending because you wanted to go do Star Wars, fuck it up so bad you don't get to do Star Wars.

SPEAKER_04 55:52

Ugh.

SPEAKER_01 55:54

The irony. And I'm sure I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but you know, like it is it is funny.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

If you could make a good valley of your choice, if you could make it bad, what would it be and how would you do it? You have to pick it up.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

I do want to say like breaking bad, where like he just slips on a patch of ice and then like and then like falls down a mountain. Okay. I'm sorry. I no, that's that's a bullshit answer. Um I don't know. I I think it sucks because I can't actually remember a lot of good shows that ended well, you know?

SPEAKER_00 56:33

Like Soprano The Sopranos, The Wire, uh Sopranos, The Wire was great. Um the last season of The Wire wasn't great, but the fin the finale of the whole series was very good, I think.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

Yeah, like like where where everyone ended up was very good. Um and that was great.

SPEAKER_00 56:48

I fucking fucking what else? Oh, um Better Call Saul too was really good.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

Better Call Saul was great. Okay, so I would change the ending of Better Call Saul to where he's put him in blackface.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

What I mean that would ruin the fucking episode, probably.

SPEAKER_02 57:12

I just I I can't fathom what plot would have to happen for that to for Bobu to be put on black for that to occur.

SPEAKER_01 57:22

Like again, I can only feel like it would be some some sort of some sort of like fucking uh mistake where he like puts his face in a chimney or something. But then that again, that just makes me think like family-friendly comedy where like he's just a series of misunderstandings. Um I would do I I think I would do ruin better calls all where like it lasts for an extra like 10 minutes or something. Uh after because you know it ends with him doing the finger guns to Kim, and he's he's behind bars for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_00 57:57

Then she walks away, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:59

She walks away, and then he's just like he goes like and then he like goes back in into the cell block and he goes, All right, fellas, from the top, and then it's like and then he like gets he starts like doing a little like doot doot do and all that jazz, and then like he's he like someone tosses him a cane and tosses him a hat, and he starts doing it, and like be the camera just keeps panning out slowly, and like in like color is slowly restoring to the to the to the black twirling canes and there's like some twirling canes and like the cells are all open, and there's like some fucking hardened New Mexican inmates in there doing like uh like voguing and like it's all choreographed. Oh yeah, they're like singing all that jazz. It's just but it's it's specific to Saul's situation, it's like I I made some myth and then I sold it out, but um dump and all that jazz.

SPEAKER_00 59:00

When the cops come knocking, shut your mouth.

SPEAKER_01 59:04

Don't say a word, or things will go south, and then like at the end, it's just like and all that jazz. Like everyone fucking like singing at once, and like at the end, like the credit and like the credits are slowly rolling as this is happening.

SPEAKER_00 59:22

I like that. I'm thinking like for the sopranos, I ruined that by like you know, at the end when like the guy, like the members only jack, like walks in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02 59:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:30

Red Tony's like looking up to like see you know, like who's coming in. So it's like black Tony slips into the bathroom and then just starts passionately kissing that other man on the mouth. Like no music, nothing. It's just like really moist, like slurping noises and heavy breathing, and then it cuts to black, and then the slurping noises keep going, and then Jeremy starts playing. And then don't stop.

SPEAKER_01 59:53

But the slurping is still going on under the music. Like eventually it becomes like an argument. Okay, how about how about this? How about how about how about the how about this? It's the Sopranos ending.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

Except the member jacket's members jacket guy comes in and Tony looks up. And it's the member jacket, members only jacket guy, and he says, Hey! And Tony says, Yeah, and guy says, You can stand to lose a little weight, and then he fucking leaves. And then Tony Soprano is like, Oh. Damn, and then and then smash to fucking credits and journey. He's like, I that was kind of rude, and then just just a small town girl.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

And then in the like the side of the credits, as that's playing, you just see like the blooper reel.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:44

Yeah, the blooper blooper, like, yeah. Oh, that was a real gun. Hey, whoa!

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

And everyone's like Jackie Chan's there for some reason.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:53

Jackie Chan keeps showing up, like, hey, it's like Jackie was visiting the set this this week.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:03

He's like, it this house Christopher Columbus is. I'm sorry, guys. I just can't say it.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:10

It's like a that's where he's trying to pull his son out of the pool, but he like he just keeps dropping them. They're both like they're both laughing, they're both laughing and having a great time. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

Uh what about the sopranos?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:26

Right. What about the sopranos?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:27

But but but the bat signal flashes in the night sky. And Tony goes, I gotta go. And then he runs out and gets hit by a car. What?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:42

And then lays on the road unmoving for six minutes. And then the credits roll. Jesus!

SPEAKER_03 1:01:50

Can I sell you a ticket to that?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:53

Now, um imagine you're at the Alamo Draft House, right? And you know and Tony Soprano is performing like noisy cunolingus, like two one to one to two. How many seats away does he have to be for you to stay for the picture?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:08

I mean, do they know I'm there?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:10

Yeah, they just don't care.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

Oh, well then I'll I'll stay. I'll stay. Like, like if the picture gets boring, I'll just start, I'll just look over there. Like if they don't care, if they don't care, like yeah, like I'm I'm obviously not thrilled about it, but like fuck, you know, like I paid for the seats, I shouldn't have to move.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:28

Yeah, this is the 4D experience.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

Why do I gotta? This is the 4D experience is James Candle Feeney.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:35

And eating pussy like two seats away.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:38

Eating pussy and alternating. He like comes up and has a sip of his of his soda.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:43

I was gonna say he like comes up and like slurps butter out of a giant like bucket and goes back.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:48

That's horrible. Oh my god. The cops come in and he just looks up and he's got butter all over his face. It's like what they're like, again? Mr.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:03

Candelfini.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:05

Sir, how many times must we throw you out? Excuse me. I I think God is punishing me for doing that. Which thing after the Sopranos? Uh I can't think of any other good uh shows that ended well.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:22

No, but here's like a random thing I just thought of. Um what would be some like amusing like um like branded Lego sets for like from different TV shows or movies that like they're for sure not gonna make? Like the Saw Bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

The s actually, Saw Traps sounds so fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:40

In Lego, right? Like you got the little jigsaw minifigure.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:43

I like I actually legitimately would not hate like classic movie scene Legos, like fucking uh like fucking uh uh some kind of setup with like all the guys getting whacked at the end of Godfather.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Oh, yeah, like a diorama.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:57

Yeah, like a diorama of different Lego guys getting fucking shit. Yeah, the guy stuck in the fucking like uh revolving doors, like oh getting kicked back in the elevator as Clemenza fucking like blocks him with the shoddy like it's fucking like his fucking like little hook hands like raised in sterror, like he's got like a turnaround face, so like you can't. You can change the expression from change his expression like fucking seven some some Lego scenes from like which ones would you do?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:38

Like the ending would be tricky.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:40

No, yeah, the sloth on the sloth, like a Morgan Freeman minifig and a fucking Brad, like this fucking disgusting den of of horror.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:51

Uh fucking um Sallow.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:55

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:58

Hundred Days of Sodom Sodom or whatever it's called. Oh my fucking god. Yeah, that might be the worst one.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:07

I think we've gone as far as we can. I don't think I I guess like Antichrist or Willem Dafoe, that could be fun as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:16

Or uh a Serbian film.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:18

A Serbian film. I was actually thinking I was actually thinking black and white Legos.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:23

Oh, yeah, the seventh seal.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:24

Yeah, or like Psycho, or like maybe oh, Robert Aegers fucking uh Lego sets.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:30

The lighthouse.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:31

The lighthouse, the witch, uh the Northmen.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:34

Yeah, you can have one with like dangling nuts and like fighting volcano.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:39

Hell yeah, dangling nuts right over the lava.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:42

I bet that would sell like hotcakes, dude. Lego mini figs with dicks.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:48

Figs with dicks. Alright, fuck it. I feel like we have blasphemed enough. What do you what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:54

We have thoroughly blasphemed.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

This has been Sloppy Seconds. Will, would you like to hit us with just a little housekeeping?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:01

Yep, and uh Slop Culture and Sloppy Seconds uh is a podcast and a secondary podcast hosted by Sam Sykes and Will Palmer. Shouldn't have called it a secondary podcast. It's like a side thing. You fucking know what I'm talking about, audience.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:12

You know, you'd like like fucking if you've been with us this long, you fucking understand what's happening. Don't fucking play coy. You knew what you were getting.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

It's cute when you do it, but you know, we we all know what's what.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:24

Yeah, cute when you lose it. Alright, go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:28

Uh please give us a five-star review out of five on whatever platform you hurt us on. Our cover art is by Andrew Sides, and our intro music is by Joe Roy. You can get in touch with us at uh slopculturepodcast at gmail.com. And uh you can find me on social media at pomskis, or we'll underscore Palmskis pretty much everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:45

And you can find me at social media at Sam PsychSwears pretty much everywhere. This has been Sloppy Seconds, a subdivision of Slop Culture. And until we see you next time in one episode or the other, stay sloppy.