Slop Culture
Slop Culture is a happy hour podcast that strives to see the beauty in stupidity. Movies, books, video games, media--anything that falls under the theater of the macho and the campy, we can't get enough of. Join us for a drink, a few laughs and then send us your angry letters when we have opinions you don't like.
Slop Culture
The Gauntlet - Vanillainous
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In a very special episode of Slop Culture, the podcast talks about its very first film featuring America's favorite morally-dubious, spiritually-lugubrious, gun-toting, chain-smoking, grizzled gizzard son of an onion, Clint Eastwood, in The Gauntlet, a film that is brave enough to tell you that you can solve at least some of your problems with a bus.
Sir, the engines are fired up, sir. They are ready for takeoff.
SPEAKER_02Shovel more coal into the engine, sir.
SPEAKER_03Jolly good, sir.
SPEAKER_02Jolly good, sir. This will be the finest aircraft. This will be the finest Boeing to ever have braced the skies.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, sir, it's a goose!
SPEAKER_02That goose was from Germany.
SPEAKER_03A jerrygander.
SPEAKER_02A jerry gander. Said from the Kaiser, no doubt. Old Fritz has learned some new tricks.
SPEAKER_03That would be like a kind of maliciously amusing thing to do with time travel abilities, is go back to like a slightly more gullible era and just like try to convince the British public that like fouls were on the side of the Kaiser. And put out all sorts of like fun public addresses about like, do your part, citizens. Decapitate your nearest geese. Or else Jerry will come and fuck you in your butt.
SPEAKER_02Flash forward to 2026, and like it's traditional for British people to carry a pistol at all times and just unload on a goose whenever they see it. And like for some reason we've all agreed to let them do this.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's just a national it's one of those national things. You just kind of get back to it.
SPEAKER_02It's one of those things where you change something in the in the past and it has dire ramifications.
SPEAKER_03The butterfly effect. But in this case, it's you know, posh British people going around wasting ducks with a fucking handgun.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, um the British colonized China for a while, so you would think that they would actually like come away with an appreciation for duck. Because that's that's been a Chinese staple for for quite some time.
SPEAKER_03True.
SPEAKER_02Uh and yet, well, you know, I mean, we're I it feels mean to like point out that Britain did not really does is not really gonna invent ducks. Well, it feels mean to point out that Britain didn't invent ducks, you know how like they're always going on about how they've invented ducks and how ducks are a British invention and shit, and like we're all like, okay, okay, UK.
SPEAKER_03Sure.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Like, alright.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh no, I was gonna say it it feels it feels bad to pick on the British for suggesting they don't have a lot of culinary prowess despite their global exploits.
SPEAKER_03Global exploits is a hell of a way to spin zone that. How about I call it globe-trotting mischiefs? You know, Carmen San Diego? It's kind of like that.
SPEAKER_02It's a little like that, except with way more strapping people to cannons. They did do that. They did that quite a bit.
SPEAKER_03What a crazy way to fucking like that's such a mess, man.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna guess like they weren't that concerned about the mess. Yeah, they didn't have to fucking clean it. I I don't think it was a Gallagher type situation where like all the assembled nobility and uh officers like put on like raincoats and they're like, Hey! I got some, I got some.
SPEAKER_03I say, Archibald, do look at this Irishman I've strapped to the front of this cannon. What a delightful contraption.
SPEAKER_02What a delightful what do you do with it? It blows them to pieces. Cut that off like what I'm trying to get at is like I fucking it it's too easy. It's too easy, so we're just gonna let the UK go in peace and say that you know what? Uh I, for one, am glad our listeners in the UK, that you do have a reasonable uh relationship with geese because they are magical creatures. Yeah. Uh not a lot of them. Not well, like like some foul well, ducks are great. Ducks are great.
SPEAKER_03That's an interesting stance.
SPEAKER_02Given where do you stand on the duck versus goose thing?
SPEAKER_03Well, ducks are the official goo like bird of fascism. What? No, I kid, I kid. That's geese because of the stepping. But I was gonna say, did Mussolini see a duck? He's like, I know what I must do with my life. Yeah, well, that's why the French hate them so much. That's why they do foie gras.
SPEAKER_02I I th I think France just really early on in a reputation got a reputation for subversiveness and just ran with it.
SPEAKER_03I guess when you think about it, like foie gras is kind of like the food equivalent of strapping an Irish guy to the front of a cannon.
SPEAKER_02Everyone says that. That's the menu description on the that's the description on the menu. It's like the cue the culinary equivalent of strapping an Irish guy to a cannon and blowing him to pieces in front of a contingent of indentured laborers. Though I mean, you could say that there is kind of a culinary arrogance to the French. Like they they got really good at cooking, and then it was like a fucking they became all anime villains about it.
SPEAKER_03They're like it's not announcing all their moves.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, well, it's it's like it's like I have reached the limit of my power, but it's not enough. I must steam an infant bird.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, right, and then eat it underneath a cloth so that even gods cannot see it.
SPEAKER_02I may hide my gluttony from God, like that's anime villain shit.
SPEAKER_03It really is.
SPEAKER_02Like, like that's there's a whole trope of that. Like, we talked about that. The murder twink, you know, there's a fucking uh the French are, you know, without intending to come across as insensitive, and with respect to their long and storied culture, they are sort of like a a nation of fe culinary sadists.
SPEAKER_03Sure. I mean I totally yeah Macron Macron.
SPEAKER_02If you take exception to this, fucking come on the podcast.
SPEAKER_03Defend yourself, bro. Defend yourself, you coward. In English, though, we don't speak fucking romance languages on this. No, I'm kidding. Shout out romance languages.
SPEAKER_02I can shout out romance languages. Definitely one of my top five root linguistics. Linguistic roots, yeah. Alright, are you ready to start? Yes. Okay. Have you ever fallen for someone so hard that you were willing to drive an armored battle bus onto the steps of City Hall through a hail of gunfire as you are pursued by an army of corrupt policemen? And if you don't, doesn't that say something about you? Welcome to Slop Culture. Today we're talking The Gauntlet, starring Clint Eastwood and Sandra motherfucking lock. It's Slop Culture. Yes, welcome to Slop Culture, the happy hour podcast where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity. I am your host, Sam Sykes, and with me, as always, a man who fucked up his Kickstarter so bad that he accidentally founded and joined a paramilitary group known as the Sons of the Typhoon. It's Will Palmer, everybody.
SPEAKER_03Now, what I'd really tried to get going there was a uh this uh really like mind-blowing new uh form of uh like a toilet bomb where you put it in and then you know you drop a fat dookie on it, flush that bad boy, foom, right? And I was trying to get it going as like a social media kind of thing where you know people would post pics of like you know like the results of their blown-up pictures. And um I was right, and I was trying to uh kick start like a typhoon tracker is what I called it, where um essentially it was uh an asshole mounted device that would obviously things went awry somewhere there. Um and um a bunch of guys from like I'm not sure, maybe Chechnya um got a hold of it. They got a hold of some other guys from Sri Lanka, and then next thing you know, I'm in the jungle fucking on the monkey bars. Someone's screaming at me, and I'm scared. They're probably scared too. Guys like 13 years old.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but you're all you're all kind of feeding off. Yeah, boy, he's scared. I should go easy on him. He's only 13. Yeah, I mean, fucking guy's got a kill count in the triple digits, but yeah, my fucking commanding officer is such a hard ass, but I should I should be better about it. He's only 13.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he likes it when I like cut the uh the edges off his sandwiches, you know. Comes back from some blood-soaked endeavor, like holding a sack full of human corpses, and I'm like, And you've got lunch and you've got lunch ready for him, and he's like, oh boy. Yeah, and make like uh like pizza rolls for him.
SPEAKER_02Oh you like you you you give him his chicken noodle soup with Doritos crumbled up in it for like a special treat, and he's like, Wow!
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's making a necklace out of finger bones, and then I bring that over to him and he just lights up.
SPEAKER_02Oh, Jesus Christ. I was gonna riff off something, but then you took it to a dark place. Actually, I do remember part of it.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Uh what was like the uh the the logic behind uh the typhoon, the the poo typhoon?
SPEAKER_03The type poo. The typo. Um I mean in my life I've seen a lot of toilet bowls, brother. And um there is just like a there's a certain uh je ne sais quoi to like a pristine white toilet bowl. That's like an impressive thing to have out. That's like having out like a pair of like dueling pistols, you know. It's a statement of intent.
SPEAKER_02If you clog the toilet, be prepared. Yeah, really bad. It's like, wait, how how bad is how bad do you have to poo? Should we should we get your second? Yeah, if you fucking if you fucking clog the toilet, we're gonna duel.
SPEAKER_03And you know, these these pistols actually belong to Moamar Gaddafi. Wow. Yeah. And they're like, really? And like, no, no, but they're scary.
SPEAKER_02They are scary. They're incredibly scary, like, oh my god. Every time I shoot, every time I shoot one, I'm like, ah!
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there's like a big skull, like a screaming skull that I've like lunchly welded onto the end of the barrel.
SPEAKER_02There's like an aggressive stick-on tattoo of like the ninja turtles. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It glows in the dark.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, this is tough. I like that. I don't think I can go any further with that. Uh oh no, I do remember what I wanted to say. I I really liked that you made an effort, and I think you did this for me. Uh, I really like that you specified that your paramilitary group was multi-ethnic. I really liked that. Like how how like uh you know that it kind of reaches across the globe, and like, yeah, you know what? Like, dude, what if you created a very positive men's group out of a paramilitary?
SPEAKER_03I mean, okay, okay, like uh, yeah. I mean, what what do you mean what do we mean by positive men's group? Are they going around doing like good deeds for the community or just like a self-affirmation thing?
SPEAKER_02Well, like, what if they all show up and they're like, all right, is today's the day we're gonna overthrow the world governments, and you're like, all right, guys, but first, I got a ping pong table. Uh oh and they're all like, I I really do like ping pong, though. And like, you know, it's been a while since we've had ping pong.
SPEAKER_03They discover a hidden talent, the underdog story.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And you're like, uh, and you're like, guy, and you're like, guys, like, you know, I which we played ping pong all day. We ran out of time to overthrow the governments, and like, ah, darn it. Well, we'll try again tomorrow, right, Mr. Palmer? Oh, yeah, oh yeah. Like, I'm picturing you as kind of like a a jovial like like like wise cracking like teacher for guide to these like lost souls.
SPEAKER_03I mean, yeah, there are way worse things they could be doing, man.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of like a welcome back cotter, except like you're you're providing guidance to like a bunch of child soldiers. I like well, like it's it's gonna be like a diverse range of ages in your parents' oh, that's fun. Yeah, and so like you got like an old guy, and maybe one episode is about like I can't storm places like I used to be able to. Like, you know what? We gotta find some purpose for old Elias over here.
SPEAKER_03Right, well put him on comms duty.
SPEAKER_02Alright, fuck. Uh that's as far as I can that this time I mean it. That's as far as I can go. Uh so uh we're talking about the gauntlet today. Yes. Which is very special because this will be our first Clint Eastwood movie. And I don't know if you can really put him on the Mount Rushmore of action movies, but I feel like you could make a good case for him.
SPEAKER_03I would. I would certainly do it. I'd be scared that if I didn't, he would like run me over with, like, I don't know, like uh like a combine harvester.
SPEAKER_02Just outside your apartment.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He's got it rigged like some kind of fucking death trap video game where like you walk out your apartment and he's down at one end of the hallway, and like you have to outrun him while he's like slowly advancing towards you, and you gotta break down some gates that he's put up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he's it's made like a whole little like uh steeplechase course for me while he's chasing you with arm equipment. He's just got this like uh demented grin on his face as he like mows through an entire hallway.
SPEAKER_02That should be a national sport where Clint Eastwood is in a car or a vehicle of some sort. Sure. And you're and there's like a hundred guys in an arena with him. And like your goal is just to outlast Clint Eastwood, like he's just gonna be driving like fuck. It's like a demolition derby, except none of no one else has cars. It's only Clint Eastwood in his car.
SPEAKER_03I could see Mr. Beast like facilitating something like that.
SPEAKER_01I paid 100 guys to go into an arena and get run over by Clint Eastwood. Guys, let's go to the video.
SPEAKER_02Get out of my neighborhood, punk.
SPEAKER_03He's like beeping over some guy and it's like, uh fucking.
SPEAKER_00You gotta you gotta you can't do that!
SPEAKER_02You can't do oh my god, you're you've been given an Icarus like power now that you've discovered the bleep function, and you're you're you're spitting in the eye of God. You are Prometheus stealing vulgarity from the lips of gods.
SPEAKER_01Prometheus was a pussy.
SPEAKER_02Prometheus was a bitch. That's kind of that's that's that's a that's a big fuck you from like if a god like actively gives a bird a job specifically to eat you every fucking day.
SPEAKER_03Like at least it was like a cool bird, it was like an eagle, I think. What if it was a lame bird? What if he just had a woodpecker?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what if there was like just a pigeon that had to like peck it? I bet you that'd be worse because like it's pooping while it's doing it and it's taking a long time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and his life a liver was like a weird choice, too. Like, why not just like his dick? Like that's like that's worse, dude. I'd way rather have my liver get eaten by an eagle than have my fucking dick get ripped off with like a balance and a beak. I'm sure like someone on Olympus was like, rip his dick off. It's like Aries, we always rip his dick off.
SPEAKER_02Like, Aries, I you gotta stop. Like we always have the is like you all you're always talking about how excluded you feel. But we've we've told you you just always bring up like like we these are supposed to be like fitting punishments, you know. That's why we turned that one that one weaver chick into a spider. But like, what is the lesson in in ripping dicks off, Aries?
SPEAKER_03Like, where's the metaphor, Aries? Where's the metaphor?
SPEAKER_02Aries just kind of looks at his fiend like I don't know. Um believe it or not, though, that's not our banter for today. Um the banter topic, I I admit I'm going to be I'm I'm I'm edging close to controversy here. Um but I wanted to ask you, have you ever had have you ever gotten like a little baked? Like, and I genuinely want like I genuinely want to know the the the punchline to this hypothetical is not ha ha weed. Okay. Like I just want to know, have you ever gotten baked and had a high idea that's so stupid that you like feel slightly ashamed of it for how stupid it is. Not offensive, not rude, not taboo. It's just like you think of something and then you're like, dude, that is the dumbest fucking thing. Like, I'm glad no one was here so I could ask them that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like what if you had like thinner, softer shoes you wore inside your shoes, and then you're like, oh, that's socks. They made that already.
SPEAKER_02See, I was I was specifically thinking, and like I'm being very brave by being open about this. Trust tree. Trust tree, but I had a thought earlier while I was while I was watching The Gauntlet. Um where in that scene in Matrix Revolutions, where Neo fights all the Agent Smiths.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and the in the big the rainy Yeah yeah.
SPEAKER_02What if he jerked them all off instead? And when and when they spunked, it all came out as that like green and black binary, yeah, like code. What if that? And then like immediately I thought like, oh my god, that's that's that's that's the dumbest thing I've ever thought.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know, you look at that, you just see strings of code. You know what I see? Shredded, cut guy in a suit, strings of cum, eight ropes.
SPEAKER_01Eight ropers!
SPEAKER_02Some kind of fucking hydra.
SPEAKER_03Some kind of fucking they're just busting thick ropey loads all over you, Neil.
SPEAKER_02They busted fit ropey loads, Mr. Anderson. Erupting again, I see. Don't you think you should do that at home?
SPEAKER_01I can show you things, Neo. Show you edging techniques you wouldn't believe. When you're ready to step to ascent, let me know. I feel like that got progressively goonier as I if you said Neo.
SPEAKER_02So basically, I guess I I I don't feel good about that, but I did think it would be really funny.
SPEAKER_03Would it have resolved like the core conflict? Do you think?
SPEAKER_02I think yeah, I think only Neo would act like it's not fucking weird. And like even the machines would be watching, like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Well, and Morpheus, like, he's beginning to believe. He's believe.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's like that fucking scene at the end of the first matrix where he's like moving like he's anticipating.
SPEAKER_03Only again, with a uh jobs, the flotilla of Agent Smith, so they're just like busting rapidly one at a time.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, it's like a fucking anime where it's like where like Neo just like moves faster than the speed of eye uh the speed of the eye, and then like the Agent Smiths all like sway and then go still, and then there's like Baaaaah! Yeah. Alright, that is the banter. I kinda wish we had just I kinda wish we had just star kept with talking about Olympus, but now I'm thinking that like eight eight-headed cum is something that Zeus would curse you with if you pissed him off enough.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, man. I mean, if let's be honest, if we were like minor Olympian gods, like we would have gotten up some like real like whimsical punishments for people.
SPEAKER_02You know what? If we were Olympian gods, we'd be one of those fucking gods that like got hit by a rock because we fucking yelled at a tree or something. Like one of the and like the lesson is don't fucking don't talk shit to nature, yeah. Yeah, or something like that. Uh or I could have been a creature, you know, like a fucking uh Minotaur or something. Minotaurs are I could I could fucking I thought Minotaurs were very cool when I was young. I thought that was like one of the coolest fantasy creatures I'd ever seen.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean Asian Mythology, ever play that? That shit had a cool Minotaur in it.
SPEAKER_02Ah no, but I I did love I did really like Greek mythology as a kid. Like that easily my favorite myth, myth, mythos, whatever. You know what I'm saying. Like, if only they had drag well, I don't know. Yeah, they had dragons, didn't they? They had like dragon adjacent critters, I'm sure. Yeah, well, they had the sleepless dragon, right? That was Jason and the Argonauts, or I might be well maybe. Yeah, that might I I don't act like I'll I'll be brave, I'll be brave again and admit I don't actually know if Jason and the Argonauts is like if I if that was a movie I saw. It will it probably was, uh but with uh fucking with fucking Ray Harryhaus and the fucking stop motion animation. Oh fuck, I wanna I wanna watch that. I wanna watch that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we'll put it on the list.
SPEAKER_02All right, um fuck. Do you wanna do you wanna do the two minute recap? Yes, of the gauntlet. The gauntlet nineteen seventy seven and sondra lock as Gus Malley. Uh I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound that way. Just I meant to say a hooker with additional stuff, but it just you you know what? Here's the two-minute drill. One, two, three, go.
SPEAKER_03Alright, pussies. Um The Gauntlet, I can't do that for two minutes. The Gauntlet is a um 1977 film starring Clint Eastwood as the drunken, kind of boorish uh, I think it's a detective, uh, the police force, uh, Ben Shockley. And he is given the job of going to, I want to say LA, no, Vegas. He has to go to somewhere in Vegas and uh pick up a uh witness for a mob trial and uh deliver her to Phoenix safely. Turns out that uh the person's name is Gus, so you're set up to think it's a guy. No, it's uh Sandra Locke, who's a real delight in this movie. Um, you know, initially, like Eastwood and uh just treats her as just, you know, he treats her uh very sexistly. Um but like you come to realize her character is like very observant, clever, um, and she and Eastwood actually work together quite well because in a shocking twist, the mob doesn't want the witness to get to the courthouse. So uh the mob has been working with uh the play uh Shockley's uh corrupt uh police chief to kill him. And so the gauntlet um is both their overall journey to uh Phoenix and also specifically the end, when after having uh taken a constable hostage for a while and then uh riding a train, fighting some bikers, you know, and forming a uh kind of uh sweet romantic relationship with each other that I'm sure we'll get into, um, they end up basically building a killdozer out of a local bus that they steal, and driving the killdozer through just like thousands of like police officers lining the street. Like they don't drive it through the officers, but they just drive it down the street while just getting the shit shot out of this fucking bus. Um, to a cartoonish extent. Uh, but they do ultimately make it to the safety of the town hall or the courthouse, I forget, and uh outside the courthouse, uh, the cops just stop shooting. The police chief flips a shit and uh shoots the corrupt DA, who uh Clint Eastwood takes as like a human shield, and then Gus, Sandra Locke, um, picks up Eastwood's gun and blasts the police chief, and the rest of the cops are just like, well, I guess that fucking settles that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean Yeah, that that that was quite abrupt, but uh a lot of this movie is quite abrupt. Um a lot of this movie, I want to be clear, is fucking great. Overall, I think I really loved this movie. Uh but this movie feels a little like and I don't know if this is everyone's experience, but having one friend or acquaintance who has a very interesting job and they know it. And so, like, for the first like 30 minutes you're talking to them, they're talking about their job, and it's very interesting.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm a gash inspector. Inspector inspector. That's fancy talk for a nurse's aide. I'm a nurse's aide, that's right. Clint Eastwood, male nurse. Take this bedpan and give it back.
SPEAKER_02I notice it's kind of dry.
SPEAKER_01That's a good dookie. That's a good dookie, Mr. Fontaine. We're gonna have you out of here before you know it.
SPEAKER_02I love this. I love Glenn Eastwood male nurse. Um but yeah, it's a movie that is very interesting and knows it's very interesting. So sometimes it overindulges in a way that ultimately harms it. But it is the moments that are good are so good that they make the the prolonged moments, the bored boring moments, the tedious moments, of which there are a few. Yeah. Uh the character interactions, the dialogue, the chemistry, yeah, all of it is so good that it makes the tedium pretty easy to bear. Like it does it does bother the it does bother the movie. It does su it does make the movie a little more clunky. Yeah. But I do sincerely think uh it's like it it the good far outweighs the bad. Do you do you concur?
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, those are I would say there's a couple like speed bumps on the on the road that kind of throw off the pacing maybe a little bit, just because they we'll talk about it, but there's a couple scenes like just uh overstay their welcome, not in like an awful way, but just like get the fuck on with it.
SPEAKER_02In a glaring way, in a glaring way. It's like it it's like I don't know, there's there is this uh there's this theory that you know uh something that like a beautiful object of art with one a single crack in it is more uh beautiful than the same object of art with no cracks in it because it now it has character. I think this is kind of the proof positive of the opposite theory, because like this movie is very close to being like just perfect, in my opinion, but it fucking overindulges in just some very peculiar places that makes it like uh like like I don't think I would want to see this movie again, you know, like really soon. I'd I'd watch I'll put it this way if this movie came out in theaters, I'd be very happy and I'd think very fondly of the night we went out and watched it. Yeah. And then the next night I would hope we just not in a hur I would not be in a hurry to see it again. Not like backrooms. That makes sense. Sorry. I love that one.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know, I heard uh Kane Parsons uh was actually unborn that he was directing while still inside the womb.
SPEAKER_02In fact, he was actually he had yet to be conceived. He was it was his dad that was typing it. From the testicles up. Like I'm sorry, that that's coarse, that's coarse. We're trying to keep it classy here. Uh but I want to say the chemistry in this movie is by far its best asset. The fucking word between uh fucking Will has gone to let his homie in. Uh I think people are too glib with the term homie. To me, a homie is like above a friend, right? Like, like that's someone you trust in your house. Like a homie, because that that hence the name, right?
SPEAKER_03Oh, this is my boy Kiefer. Sam, this is Kiefer.
SPEAKER_02Kiefer, what up, man? Uh so Kiefer is here. What's up, Kiefer? He's not gonna be contributing, so like think of him as sort of a ghost, a background ghost who is just like like imagine that you always have a ghost named Kiefer hanging out with you, and he's always hoping that you succeed. And like maybe he's a poltergeist and he can throw shit around, or maybe he's just there in spirit, like he can be whatever kind of ghost you want. But give yourself the gift of a Kiefer ghost. I'd want like a Dapper Victorian ghost, I think. A Kiefer could definitely be a Dapper Victorian ghost. Uh I just don't want one of the six sense ghosts, the kind that are like, you know, like brutally main. Oh, yeah, like I don't want brutal ghosts. Like he never meets any ghost that was just like, hey man, like, yeah, I was I was pretty old. Like we all saw it coming.
SPEAKER_03Like, yeah. But I guess that's the point.
SPEAKER_02I guess that's the point, right? Like the ghost is at peace, so it moved on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, whereas if it died in like a horrific industrial loom accident, then probably got some business they want finished.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, more people die by loom accidents than by hippopotamus attacks every year.
SPEAKER_03I actually wouldn't be surprised if that was true.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I wouldn't either, but I can't back that up. But, anyways, uh I want to say the fucking chemistry between Sandra Locke and Clint Eastwood is fucking magical. These characters have such a journey together, and they grow and evolve with each other in ways that feel very true and very earned. And like it just it's just they they work so well together. And like uh Sondra Locke plays Gus Malley, a hooker who be who witnessed a some some crimes, yes, and also uh suffered at the hands of the Phoenix Police Department Commissioner.
SPEAKER_03Villainous police chief guy, yeah. The vanilla villainous uh Blake Lock. Vanilla? The vanilla vanilla. Vanilla Ice actually stars as Blake Lock.
SPEAKER_02That's like his his Super Saiyan form. When he ch channels enough energy, vanilla and ice vanilla ice becomes vanilla. And he gains like beam powers and sprouts like two wings, one bat wing and one bird wing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay. That's kind of um that's an interesting vibe for our boy vanilla ice here. I was thinking you'd have more like uh the cold-based powers, obviously. He might have like a big, like a humongous uh fucking snowflake that he like flies around on. I mean, that sounds kind of like, but like what if it was also like a throwing star?
SPEAKER_02That sounds a little like what if you could hit someone with your skateboard? I mean, yeah, that's pretty effective from what I've seen.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's actually what it was invented for.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's how it started is like a quick way to whack someone and then make it the end of one way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. You just sketch away next to your uh your limiting. Imagine like somebody does a drive-by shooting, but they're just on heelys across the street, slowly rolling by.
SPEAKER_02Alright, is it funnier if it's in the modern age or if it's in like fucking 1930s Chicago and it's like a fucking uh like Cosa Nostra. Like rattle the moise, and there's healing by healing town with a Tommy gun, like nah. And then like, get out of here, guys! And then like they take off sprinting, and then healing. The cops are like out of breath, like, forget it.
SPEAKER_00They got healing.
SPEAKER_02We can't catch them. Then eventually, like, they spend the entire movie trying to figure out how to stop these guys until they eventually realize they can just shoot them. That ends it real quickly, and it's just an absolute blood like men wailing and begging for their lives.
SPEAKER_03Just getting blown apart by like high caliber women. Yeah. Like uh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02All I wanted to talk about was how good Sandra Locke and Clint Eastwood were together.
SPEAKER_03Imagine the end of this movie, but they're just like on heelys with riot shields instead of the bus.
SPEAKER_02I was hoping he would say, like, because at the end, uh so the whole thing is fucking uh Clint Eastwood is trying to get Sandra Locke to Chicago to Phoenix, I'm sorry, uh to try to get her to testify. And to do this, they go on some shenanigans, but ultimately they end up hijacking a bus, and Clint Eastwood forces people at gunpoint to construct a shell for his bus. And then he drives that bus through a titular gauntlet of Phoenix policemen, all with shotguns aimed at him. He just drives a bus through it, and then for some reason he b drives it through another fucking gauntlet.
SPEAKER_04Yes, a double gauntlet.
SPEAKER_02There's two gauntlets, and then he finally drives it up to the to City Hall, and for some reason all the cops stop shooting. Like it literally is like, well, he fucking made it to City Hall. You know what that means.
SPEAKER_03Like Yeah, it's like church rules back in like you know, the hunchback of Notre Dame times.
SPEAKER_02Sanctuary!
SPEAKER_03If Clint Eastwood drives a business.
SPEAKER_02If a Clint Eastwood drives a bus into your front yard, you gotta give him a shelter.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it says so in the Bible.
SPEAKER_02He's never paid rent throughout his entire life because of that. I just move from house to house. I go into it. It's a transient lifestyle. I eat everybody's snacks, and then I I refuse to chip in even a little money.
SPEAKER_03I'm like a mean Santa Claus.
SPEAKER_02I'm a reverse Santa Claus.
SPEAKER_01I take things. I love taking.
SPEAKER_03I'll shit in your kitchen and then wipe my ass with your dish towels.
SPEAKER_02I feel like I was picturing him as kind of a whimsical Grinch-like creature. I feel like you pivoted hard towards like a serial killer. Maybe it's both. Maybe he does it's just he's like, I'm Clint Eastwood and I can't stand Christmas. Every night I go down and stab everyone in hopes of stopping it, but it never works.
SPEAKER_03Right, no, of course he's like whimsically tiptoeing between bedrooms.
SPEAKER_02It's just horrifying. He's like, but he's in his little Santa outfit. Oh, yeah, yeah. With bells on the toes. Just yeah. His dog's outside going, as he's fucking eating. Oh my god, chewing a human limb. Alright, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This movie really was good, and I really wish uh we could go into uh but I think we've we've covered most of what's good about it. There's no getting around it. A lot of this movie was quite silly. Um this is like like I will acknowledge what I said earlier is true. Watching the chemistry of these people and hearing the the beautiful dialogue, and they were such grimy, broken characters. Uh fucking Clint Eastwood plays Ben Shockley, a fucking drunk, dirty ass cop, and I loved what they did with this character, and that they kind of present him as like, sure, he's a wreck, but he gets the job done. And then later they rug pull that, they reveal, actually, no, it's not that you get the job done, it's because you're a fucking drunk fuck up, and they wanted you to and they wanted you to be put on this fucking suicide mission.
SPEAKER_03Yep, and then they pull the rug again because there was a secret rug disguised as the floor.
SPEAKER_01And then he's like, I'll show them, I'll pull out my own rug, and I'll finally stop Christmas from coming.
SPEAKER_02Uh and yeah, he he turns out to be a very capable character, and he's fucking he has this wonderful, bristling, aggressive chemistry with uh Sandra Locke, and she is this fucking unflappable, cool, and composed fucking streetwise lady who just like has fucking ice water in her veins.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, she goes through some pretty like traumatizing and gnarly shit in this film.
SPEAKER_02She goes through some gnarly shit, and there's there's a scene. You could say it's a gauntlet, it's an emotional gauntlet. Uh but there's a scene where uh Clint Eastwood has just escaped the Las Vegas Police Department because he's just realized he's been set up and framed, and he abducts a Las Vegas constable at gunpoint and forces him to drive him and uh Sondra Locke to the Arizona border. And while this is happening, this clean-cut constable just starts saying this horrible shit about uh Sondra Locke, uh Gus Miller observations. Just like the most vile, and like she's a hooker, and he's just he's giving her like endless fucking shit about it.
SPEAKER_03Calls her a strumpet.
SPEAKER_02Calls her a strumpet. He says some like legitimately uncomfortable holy shit things.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And like to the point where you keep asking, you keep thinking, like, Clint, just fucking blow his head off, man. Like, this is horrible. Yeah. But then she just lights a cigarette and she fucking just calls him out and just says, Listen, fucker, like I I we both sell ourselves. You're a cop, like you take so many fucking kick packs. The difference is I sell my body, I take a bath, I come out as clean as the day I was born. She says, And you, there's not enough water on earth to make you clean again. And it's just like, oh fuck. Like, she just took his abuse and just shrugged it off, and then just retaliated, and she just she keeps up that energy this whole time. She is she it's it's it's actually marvelous because like she is a passive character in that she kind of has to go where Clint Eastwood tells her to. But later that becomes that becomes more of an active choice on her part.
SPEAKER_03Where they choose to go together. And she's also uh a good example of the classic like character side character that you like because they're just very competent.
SPEAKER_02Very competent, very confident, too. Like there's a there's a bit where they get shot up where uh she escapes through a secret tunnel uh under under Clint Eastwood's nose, and then the police show up and shoot out her their hiding spot.
SPEAKER_03They're not her house, I think, and then the police are showing to kill the house.
SPEAKER_02They kill the fucking house. Like we'll we'll get into that in a bit. Um but then Clint Eastwood escapes out a tunnel and finds her, and she's smoking a cigarette on the other side, and she's like, She's like, she's like, what happened back there? It sounded noisy, and it's just like, oh god, like so fucking cold-blooded. It was it's wonderful. I loved that character so much, and like I loved how grimy these characters were. I love that fucking they're both fuck-ups in some way, and like they're both too fucking tough to go down, and that's what they see in each other. That's lovely. That's and like that's in that definitely contributes to their chemistry together.
SPEAKER_03Oh, sure.
SPEAKER_02And like I I yeah, go ahead, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03Uh and I mean in real life too, you know, the two of them were in like a domestic partnership of there was a very long, very long relationship between them.
SPEAKER_02Very complicated, too. It's well worth well worth reading about.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but um, you can see like that, you know, feeling that chemistry, like it uh that does reflect, I think, that real life.
SPEAKER_02Um it was it was genuine emotion, is what it was. Yes, yes, exactly. Genuine emotion. Genuine emotion, totally organic, so good. Uh and yes, I do believe that that chemistry justifies this movie.
SPEAKER_03I would tend to agree.
SPEAKER_02That doesn't mean that this movie did not have some extremely goofy shit, like for as much of a reputation as Clint Eastwood gets for being like, you know, this raw, rugged, visceral impact of a director. Some of this shit was just straight up fucking like a kid playing with toys. It was ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03Like how many fucking squibs do you think we can fit on that bus?
SPEAKER_01How many squibs do you think we can fit on that bus? How many times could you realistically shoot a bus and still have it work the movie? Is it a ship of these part where you get a big business where you get enough shot off and no it's no longer the same bus that it started out? Like how much of the bus needs to be made out of bullets for it to not be a bus anymore. This is a real classic man versus bus movie. And I only want to work with people, I only want to work with people who understand the gravity of that.
SPEAKER_02There's a lot of goofiness in this movie, and like the first time it gets supremely goofy, it plays it fairly straight-laced, though in hindsight, literally our first introduction to uh to Ben Chockley, the character, is when he opens his his car door and a literal like handle of Jack Daniels falls out. A mostly drunk handle, uh yeah, a mostly drunk handle, but it's just it's there's something slightly cartoonish about that. I know it's like meant to be like he's a drunk and he's a fuck up, and they get that across, but that's still like very much.
SPEAKER_03This goes hard, all right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, like okay. But then it doesn't get truly goofy until uh fucking uh uh Ben Shockley accompanies Gus Malley to her to her apartment where she turns straight and she gets changed, and then the pol Chicago PD Chicago P D.
SPEAKER_03Police that show up from like 18 states away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like fucking every police Beverly Hills police, my everyday police is here. But then they like Las Vegas police show up with like AK 47s and shotguns, and I think I saw one throw a grenade. Yeah, and they just opened fire on the house, and literally thousands upon thousands of rounds are punching through it like. It's Looney Tunes. It's fucking Looney Tunes shit.
SPEAKER_03I'm not being hyperbolic. It is more than two minutes stuff. Just two minutes straight of them just lighting up a non-resisting house.
SPEAKER_02I wrote in my notes, I wrote the phrase, are they still shooting? Twice? Like they just keep shooting. And at the end, if like a fucking cartoon, the roof caves in and the whole house falls down.
SPEAKER_03The whole thing falls down because they they shot it so many fucking times.
SPEAKER_02And I feel like other people might have been living there.
SPEAKER_03Not anymore.
SPEAKER_02I guess not anymore, but it's so fucking goofy. It's like, and then they're like, cease fire, ceasefire. It's like it's a cartoon. Like, there's no and like no one stops to reload. There's no strategy or tactics. It's just fucking like endless shotgunning. And you know, this it sort of keeps up that thing up until the end with the titular gauntlet where the entire Phoenix police department is trying to keep them from reaching City Hall.
SPEAKER_03And they have guys like poking out of every single window in every single building. There's like guys lining both sides of the street, guys on every rooftop.
SPEAKER_02If this movie had simply been about people in an armored bus trying to besiege Phoenix, it could have been a lot of fun because honestly, it got pretty fun towards the end.
SPEAKER_03Because then we thought that the mag dumping in the house was over the top. This this bus suffers a great deal more than the house does.
SPEAKER_02This bus never explodes either. It just breaks down, which I guess it's not.
SPEAKER_03It breaks down when it gets like stuck on the stairs. I don't think it even like the engine even conks it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Like, like, but this is the ridiculous part is like there's a corrupt politician trying to keep the witness from arriving. So he commands the entire Phoenix Police Department to stand lined up along the fucking streets with shotguns and just and like on buildings and in every conceivable nook and cranny and just come popping out of trash cans. Yeah, and he just opens fire on this bus, and it is like legitimately fucking goofy. Like you want us you could imagine like trapeze flying overhead and like cops leaping and shooting in midair as they tumbled around. Oh fucking like like fucking on horseback for all that I know like in a tank. Who gives a shit?
SPEAKER_03There's biplanes soaring overhead.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there's like there's like a fucking B-2 bomber overhead, fucking dropping policemen flying, or like paratrooping down and unloading.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but like you see a bunch of red coats doing a bayonet charge on it.
SPEAKER_02There's red coats, there's fucking Saxons with uh with like an archery, like there's like British yeomen, like there's like Italian mercenaries with crossbows and cannons.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Crow Magnans with slings.
SPEAKER_02There's a fucking samurai for some reason. It's like Mongolians on horseback, it's like riding donuts around it.
SPEAKER_03And a guy in a jetpack shows up with a rail gun.
SPEAKER_02A fucking time portal opens, a murderous cyborg ports up, dude. It's like terminators open.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like mecha eastwood from the future arrives to like kill his past self.
SPEAKER_02It's a terminator, but he's in Eastwood shape with like a fucking Grinch ass skull. And like, we are joking, but the reality is not that much.
SPEAKER_03Not that far off.
SPEAKER_02Not that not that less goofy, honestly. It's just all the cops lined up and they never chase the bus. They just stand there and shoot at the bus as it passes.
SPEAKER_03And like those are the rules of engagement with buses. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It literally reads like the the mare of Phoenix agrees. Like, all right, you can testify if you drive a bus up to City Hall without getting shot or it breaking down. You're on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. To make it fair, I'll make sure that they can't run after you, okay? There's gonna be a lot of guys that like more guys than you think.
SPEAKER_02No tags, backseas. Okay, no taxis, back seas. They but I get more guys. All right, that's fine. More dudes, but they can't run.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02Like it does have that logic. It's really strange. And then once they land, they all like once they get off the bus, nobody shoots them. There's presumably still under orders to shoot these guys. Yeah, they're like indeed the corrupt politician comes out and shouts, shoot them, shoot them.
SPEAKER_03Yep. And like, nobody does, so he takes out his own gun and then you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's like the and then uh fucking the Phoenix PD stand there and watch as that corrupt politician kills another corrupt politician.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, blasts the DA, shoots Eastwood.
SPEAKER_02And then they sit there and and watch as Gus Malley takes a gun and fucking shoots him.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, just fucking slimes the police commissioner.
SPEAKER_02And then they fucking just sit there and watch as she goes, Don't you tell me, Penlock, shock me, blah blah blah. And then he goes, nag, nag, nag. Like he he that's that's his catchphrase, is she'll bust his balls for something, and he goes, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. He'll never you know that's uh I don't like Christmas at all. I'm sorry. I couldn't figure out any way to link those. I was just I was still charmed by fucking the Grinchy Swood. But then they get up, and remember, this this woman is supposed to testify. Right. Uh and then they just get up and they're like, Alright, let's go get married. Like, ah yes, I always like and they just walk off together, and it's very sweet, but what?
SPEAKER_03Like there's a lot of fucking there's a cheap sweater's worth of threads left dangling.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Yes, it is a Walmart sweater of of plot tolls. It's a mothy, not even a good Walmart, like one of the fucking uh Boonies Walmarts, you know, like fucking deep in the bayou. The fucking legendary Walmart where the moths grow big as pigs, and it's run by a mysterious old woman who doesn't accept cash. Only promises, only promises, but the good news is you get two Pepsi's for one promise, not Pepsi Max or Cherry Pepsi, but you're gonna pay for it later. Sorry, um yeah, like and and there are some other action sequences that all go on just a little too long, and so this movie kind of pivots from like this very tense, grimy, gritty character drama to like just goofy fucking 70s action shit. Like that said though, the bit where fucking Sondra Locke drives the killdozer bus.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that was tense.
SPEAKER_02That was that was really adorable. Because like you see, you see through the little visor they've carved into the iron shell, and her eyes are just going wide, she's like, Oh my gosh! Like, I yeah, only for love would I do this. And that's I thought that was really cute.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and the police department's like, Woman driving, lighter up!
SPEAKER_02Oh driving, lighter up. This is 1977! Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I feel like that's like actual like documentary footage of like never mind of oh my gosh, oh my gosh, are you just gonna I'm not picking a fight with I know what's going to happen. But like real talk though.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I was gonna ask you um if you were gonna design like a gauntlet type bus, and like obviously you can't do the killdozer, that's that's been done, but yeah, yeah, what would you do for like a killdozer type design?
SPEAKER_02Assuming that like before I answer that, can I just can I just drop a little knowledge on you? Alright, yeah, hit me with this. Uh because I do want to that's that's definitely a much more interesting thing, but I wanted to say that uh this movie was set kind of around the height of the mob's southwestern division. Oh, yeah. So you know that's yeah, not a lot of not a lot of people know this, but the mob actually had a sizable presence in Phoenix uh and a definite presence in Las Vegas. So I thought that was kind of cool. Uh like I I did think it was a cool uh choice of settings rather than like Los Angeles or something.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. All right, but I was in the mob, I would not want to be in like the the Southwest, you know. I'd have like you gotta wear all the suits and stuff. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, it probably probably feels like shit. But then again, it was a the planet was cooler back then.
SPEAKER_03Like I mean, everybody's got like a nickname in the mob, right? They probably call me like sweaty or something. I don't need that. They call you Pitsy. Hey, Pitsy. God, dude, yeah. That's like a Wikipedia page. It's like my mugshot and a picture of like my head blown off by the FBI in like a no-knock raid, and then it's like this was Pitsy Palmer.
SPEAKER_02This was Pitsy Palmer. Here's 200, here's a gallery of 200 photos of him sweating. Yeah, and here's what the inside of his brain pan looked like. This is the inside of here's the sweat gland. Notice it was larger than everything else. This is what a sweaty guy. And they put him in Phoenix. How fucked is that? They put him in Phoenix. I guess they didn't like him. They should have put him in Alaska, but I guess the mob doesn't really do much out there. I guess press on some fish mongers, but for potential. Alaskan mafia freeze!
SPEAKER_03Yeah, what are they doing? Like skimming off the top of like the crab industry?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the illegal crab trade.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Just get their asses kicked by a bunch of like hardcore crabbers. But you did ask those guys don't fuck around. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You did ask what kind of kill bus I would. Can I ask a question? Am I living in this thing or is it just for one siege?
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, you're living in it, in a way, but like uh am I I guess. You're not getting out.
SPEAKER_02Is this is it so I'm not getting out. So it's it is basically for just the one siege.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Alright.
SPEAKER_03Um I think that allows for more creative options.
SPEAKER_02I think Eastwood is correct to put the armor in the front.
SPEAKER_03Inside the vehicle, as opposed to it.
SPEAKER_02Inside the vehicle, as opposed to outside, yeah. And like like that, because I think where you're gonna get fucked with a bus is trying to defend the back end.
SPEAKER_03A lot of possible entrances to that.
SPEAKER_02A lot of possible entrances, and plus like you just can't if it's just me and like one other person keeping in contact. You got keeping in yeah, yeah, keeping in promise, or uh uh uh a rugged hooker with uh with whom I have uh some endearingly grimy chemistry.
SPEAKER_03Okay, yeah, I'll allow a rugged hooker.
SPEAKER_02Chemistry in a stained beaker glass, if you will.
SPEAKER_03Oh all right.
SPEAKER_02Chemistry in a off a chain off a chipped bunsen burner. Alright, I'm sorry. Uh so like if I had a crew, you know, I would try to armor the back as well, because then I could have people like gunning out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like turret segments kind of.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, but I think that's I think that's a fool's errand.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03So I think mold the crew in it.
SPEAKER_02Well, like, well, A, if I that would be only if I have a crew. If I don't have a crew, I don't think there's any sense. Like I can't just have one person manning it back there. Right. Yeah. So I think like I'm just stressing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I think well plus, you know, if I'm running through a gauntlet of of of gunfire, they're just gonna get shot up. They're no good to me if they die, you know?
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02So I think what I would try to do is like maybe if I could rig up some incendiary devices or something that like that's always fun. That like I could roll out the back and like drop shit behind us. Okay.
SPEAKER_03That makes it that makes it spawn traps.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, that makes it like harder for them to track us or something. I think I would try to do that. Uh alternatively I would try to find some kind of blade, some kind of large sharp edge, uh-huh, and like strap it to the back of the bus. Interesting. And then I would just try to like weave back and forth and like hopefully serpent. Yeah, hopefully, like tail whack some people. Okay, I feel you. You know, like the the blade is just there for reach. Like, I'm really hoping for the impact to do most of the most of the damage there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But like I think that's how I stand the best chance of reaching a fucking uh reaching city hall and reaching sit reaching city hall and thus being able to wed my rugged hooker. Yes. And and move to northern Arizona as as we talked about.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Settle down. Settle down near the canyon, because you can still get land out there. How about you? What would yours be? Uh Combine Harvester. I didn't know that was an option.
SPEAKER_03Like, well, you gotta get creative with it.
SPEAKER_02Or are you just are you just gonna say you're gonna rig up so that it's like a combine harvester?
SPEAKER_03I would want like a cow catcher, but it's made out of like spinning blades.
SPEAKER_02So, like basically, you want like a mobile saw dungeon. You want like a pop-up saw dungeon?
SPEAKER_03There's not really any like riddles or lessons or anything. Uh it's not really a trap either, because you see it coming. It's it's pretty loud. It's like I feed it with coal, it's got like a big tin whistle.
SPEAKER_02A big tin whistle, like woo-hoo! That rules. That rules. Yeah, um that's a little that's a little whimsical. Maybe it plays a little song like doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um like weapons-wise, I mean, I probably just want like pressurized like hoses that shot out like mayonnaise, like old mayonnaise. Because like I, you know, like I mean, I'm driving a fucking like whimsical combine harvester thing. Like, like I'm not actually gonna be like taking anybody out, so like all these mercenaries or whoever's going after me, like they're gonna get I'm gonna hit him with the splooge cannon.
SPEAKER_02It's just kind of like an aggressive spring break party bus. You got hunks and babes in the back, like woo, and like blasting with cannons full of fluid, and all the cops going like, yeah!
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and in the front, there's just like an armored fucking windscreen covered in gore.
SPEAKER_02Covered in gore, they're just like none of them know what's going on as you're like just fucking mowing them down.
SPEAKER_03Woo!
SPEAKER_02Over here.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the headlights have human skulls on them.
SPEAKER_00Who wants a t-shirt?
SPEAKER_03A t-shirt canon, but he accidentally picks up the 12 gauge and just like blows off somebody's fucking head.
SPEAKER_02Who wants a t-shirt? You just blow a hole in their chest. That's horrible. That's horrible. I can't believe you created the MTV murder bus.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it's Summer 99, 1999, and we're on the murder bus. We're going up and down the Florida coast looking for the hottest guys and gals, and then we're gonna feed them into the incinerator.
SPEAKER_03Oh no. I mean, that is how it attains its hellish power.
SPEAKER_00Those that survive will be harder, stronger. They will have been forged in a furnace of flesh and steel. They will survive what is to come. And they're gonna do it with shots of Hornitos tequila! Woo! Shots, shots, yes, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorry, I got very enchanted with the MTV murder murderbus party.
SPEAKER_00Coming to a town near you! MTV Murderbus Tour 1998! We're in Cancun!
SPEAKER_02Oh fuck. Is there anything else you want to say about the Gauntlet? I feel like this has gotten away from us.
SPEAKER_03Um let's see. Outside of the prodigious use of Squibbs, which like we said, like did loop around to being silly. Um, I was I was still impressed with it. But um outside of the prodigious use of squibs, I thought the movie's tone was interesting, right? Because Yeah, because uh there are like some genuinely like kind of harrowing scenes, like one in particular, like pretty harrowing scenes in the moments of just like very funny, like kind of very simple comedy, right? And I I didn't really mind. I thought it kind of went between those without being too jarring.
SPEAKER_02I thought it was c yeah, I thought it was kind of justified because both uh Mali and Shockley a big part of this is that they're fucking like rough, rugged, broken people, right? So like they've taken their licks and they're just keep going. So they like fucking they can get through it, you know? Like they they roll with it. Life has given them a lot of shit to handle in their lives, and so they've just learned how to handle it, you know? I kind of liked that. But I agree, some there were times when it felt very jarring, like when they're fucking getting when like they're getting menaced by bikers, and then fucking uh and then like a couple of minutes later they're like like nag nag nag like ah come on man, like but that said there were a little bit. Yeah, yeah. But there were some there were some very genuine moments too, like when they're both realize uh the only way to get through this is to drive to Phoenix, and that's just going to destroy them. Uh she calls her mom and tells and tells her she's getting married, and it's it's kind of like a lie. She's just gonna say, I'm marrying this guy just to make her mom happy before she dies. And I thought that was great. I loved that. But like the tone was kind of a kind of jarring in some places, but again, I don't think that would have been such a problem if the action hadn't like if the scenes that were jarring didn't last so long, you know? Like I think this movie could have been trimmed down by like twenty minutes or so. Well, maybe more like ten minutes, but yeah, ten minutes scene.
SPEAKER_03I agree. If you had to add if you had to add one scene to this movie featuring the use of like tens of thousands of squibs, like what would it be? Like what would get destroyed with said.
SPEAKER_02I want I want something totally fucking innocuous, like Okay. Like I I want to do that Simpsons gag where like where like uh they're fuck like uh they're in the motel room and they're like, what's that sound? And they look out the window and all these cops roll up and suddenly like just shoot up a motel and like you see inside the room those like people dying and like it's nightmarish, it's just horrible. It goes on for like five minutes, and then we cut back and it's the motel across the street.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They're watching getting blown up, and like wow, yeah, that's not us. I think that I would add that. I would add that.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03That's a solid one.
SPEAKER_02I that or I would just have one guy get like fucking exploded to all hell, and just like just trying to get to like a phone to call for to call for help, and every time he moves, they empty another round and another magazine into him.
SPEAKER_03Fuck. Um two more questions. One, um, yeah, this is a pretty interesting first movie for us to watch as a and talk about as a Clint Eastwood movie, right? I I like that we did though.
SPEAKER_02This was this was this was not a classic. This was well, it is a classic, but it's not one of his better known ones.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think we chose this one. I mean, I know I adore the poster, and I think that you uh quite like oh yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_02The fucking hand painted posters of the 1970s, the fucking Star Wars posters, come on, man.
SPEAKER_03Beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Like I will always I will always be a sucker for that shit.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So shouts out to like that kind of classic. Uh, you know, I don't even know how to describe it. Just look it up. The the poster for the gauntlet is it's dope. Pulp. Pulp is I guess only other question is uh what do you want to watch next week?
SPEAKER_02Do you think we can do Jason and the Argonauts, the fucking Ray Harryhausen version?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, sure. I don't foresee any issues.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't I don't know, I don't know where you can find it, but that feels that feels like a classic. We found Ricky O, so yeah, we can probably so alright, join us for Jason and the Argonauts, uh, which is out from the fucking sixties, so this might be the oldest one we ever did.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh until then, do you want to well, do you want to uh lead us out with some fucking uh housekeeping?
SPEAKER_03Happy to. Uh Slop Culture is a podcast hosted by Sam Sykes, that's him, and Will Palmer, that's me. Uh please give us a five-star review on whatever platform you heard us on. Our cover art is by Andrew Sides, and our intro music is by Joe Roy. You can get in touch with the podcast at Slopculturepodcast at gmail.com, and you can find me on social media at palmskis or will underscore palmskis pretty much everywhere.
SPEAKER_02You'll find me at Sam Sykes Swears pretty much everywhere. Uh this has been Slop Culture, the happy hour podcast where we strive to see the beauty and stupidity. Uh please join us next week for Jason and the Argonauts. And until then, stay sloppy.