FROM MAMA TO MAMA: APRIL'S ADVICE EPISODE

The girlies are back with this months advice episode! From snooping through your partners phone to the stresses of gentle parenting, this months questions do not disappoint! 

Email: mnam.podcast@gmail.com

https://www.instagram.com/_mamaneedsaminute/?igsh=c3V5NXJlOWprdnRy#

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, mommies. I'm Emily. And I'm Ellie. And this is Mama Needs a Minute. It's gonna be May. That makes me laugh every time. I know. I can never. It's a good one. Yes, happy last week of April. Do you like Justin Timberlake? No. Actually, here he's a horrible person. Yeah, he seems like a dick. He's not my type of music anyway, so I never, I mean, I just don't. Weren't you the one who showed me the harness picture? Yes. Oh, God. If you haven't seen it, he's a little wiener. There's a video of him with a harness on because he was about to like fly through the air at his concert. And it leaves nothing to the imagination. It's making me embarrassed. Um, and if you look up like other pe other male performers in a harness, then you'll be able to tell the difference if you are confused. Did you also know he got a DUI? Yeah. And pulled the famous card. Yeah, he said this is gonna ruin the tour. And the cops said, Literally, what tour? You had no idea who he was.

unknown 1:02

Literally.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

You know, if I was a police officer or something like that in that situation, I will a hundred percent always pretend I don't know. You could be Beyonce. I'm gonna pretend I don't know who you are just to fuck with you. It's like when we have patients whose family member is trying to use medical terminology. We don't ask. They don't they want you to ask so badly if they work in the medical field. Yes. I it's almost like a little game to me. I'm just like, how long am I gonna go before I they'll be like, Ivy, I think her IV's infiltrated. I'll be like, oh, okay. When are you gonna rem what time are you gonna remove her fully? Like 2100. And I never asked. Now, I just let Nana just continue to drop those hints all night, and I never, ever, ever asked. I yeah, I would do the same with celebrities. Yeah, I like you. Just Bieber? No, I don't hear of him. I don't think that cop literally knew who he was. No, no, no. Like it didn't register. Well, have you ever seen pictures of like celebrities in real life that aren't like super fan? Yes. They pretty much look unrecognizable without hair and makeup on. He truly probably didn't know who he was. Yeah, which is incredible. Yeah, I love that. So I have to tell you what I've been trying. What? Um I am constantly on the hunt for something that's gonna be high protein and satisfy my sweets. Same. Okay. So guess what I tried? What? Cottage cheese cookie dough. Is that what's in your fridge? Yeah, you can't have any. I'm not sharing it. Why were you in my fridge? I was eating the cottage cheese cookie dough.

unknown 2:43

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

No, I will give you a bite. No, I need to try a bite before I waste a tub of cottage cheese. Okay, because I was like, I was seeing it everywhere. Because it's always like Pinterestine, like high protein. And I tried the Greek yogurt and I was like Greek yogurt what? Like cookie dough. Okay. I love anything that's like a batter or a cookie. It's my favorite. Yes. And the Greek yogurt was not it. It was too runny. So it just tasted like Greek yogurt with like chocolate chips in it. Okay. Yeah. So I was like, okay. So I was seeing this cottage cheese cookie dough everywhere. And I was like, I don't know, we're asking too much of cottage cheese. Yeah, we've us as a society is really putting a backbone on cottage cheese. It's like what we did to cauliflower like six years ago. Yes. Like now your pizza crust. And cauliflower was like, I'm actually fucking cauliflower. Like hit me in ranch. Like the way that I used to, because I would make it like I would make it the cauliflower crust for the pizza. Yeah. And that's a labor of love, but it wasn't bad. I'll give it that. Anyways, back to my cookie though. So I was like, okay, I just have to try it because what if it's good? And if it's bad, I tried it. It's good. So the ingredients sound insane. So it's literally cottage cheese, maple syrup, and vanilla. Okay. Immediately you're like, well, so you have to blend it, not a hand mixer. In a blender. In a blender or like your neutral it or whatever. Girls, you'll get chunks. Chunks. Yeah. And you want to make sure that when all is said and done, you don't know there's cottage cheese in there. Got it. You forget that there's cottage cheese. So you mix all that, and then you put it in a bowl and you mix in quite a bit of protein powder. And I used vanilla. Okay, I was just about to ask. Yeah. I guess you could do whatever. What? Like a scoop? It's like a half cup. Oh, okay. But you use like a cup of cottage cheese. So and this isn't like to be eaten in one setting. You'd get a tummy ache for sure from all that protein. So uh protein powder, and then I did the recipe that called for um powdered peanut butter. Okay. And then chocolate chips. No, Ellie. It's so good. So good. I saw the cookie dough in your fridge and I was like, if this bitch made cookies and didn't offer me one, no, it's cookie dough. And you just eat it out of the tub. You don't bake it, obviously. Oh, and flour. Oh, I forgot the flour. There is flour too, and you're supposed to use almond flour. I don't have that. Something you can eat because isn't flour like whatever. Fucking put it in there. I think you're supposed to heat treat it first. Yes. I'm not doing that. Okay. Like what? You just use regular flour. Yeah. If you're if you want to be careful, okay, fine. Then you treat it. But you dump it all in and it kind of has like all the chips, did you say? I just did semi-sweet. Okay. Yeah. Um, like the minis. Yeah. But um, there are so many different recipes for desserts that the base is cottage cheese. Yeah. Like there, um, there's like a chocolate mousse because there's like different like consistencies you can make because the texture of it is almost like um like a marshmallowy kind of. Okay. Is it thinner in consistency or is it thick like a cookie dough? You want me to go get it? Yeah, I do. Okay. Give me a bite. Give me a little spoon. Okay. I gotta take another bite to decide. I feel like it tastes just like cookie dough. It's so good. I think it definitely satisfies the craving for sure. There's no, absolutely no cottage cheese taste. No. I would not know this. I would think you did Greek yogurt. Yeah. Now we're just gonna be sitting here eating. We're like, well, that's still a podcast. See you in a minute. Yeah, I do love finding healthy desserts. Yeah. Um, there's a lot of stuff you could do with sugar-free jello, too. I don't like, that's where I kind of draw the line. In my weight loss journey, when I first started, I was like, okay, can't give up sweet shit. That's so hard for me. I have the biggest sweet tooth. So I was trying all these different types of desserts, but sugar free. Yeah. I can't, I can taste the artificial and I don't like it. But I do like a substitute, like a maple syrup or some kind of like sweetener like that. But I don't like a sugar-free sweetener. Sugar-free coffee creamer. Yeah. No. Yeah. And in that instance, I'm like, is two tablespoons of creamer really gonna do in. Do me in for this weight loss journey? Can I have one thing? Yeah, you know? Well, um, I we did um, I talked about it in a couple podcasts, podcasts ago, but um my friend and I, actually, and then my sister and my sister-in-law came over too and did it with us. We plates! The plates, we did birthday plates. Yeah, yeah. I'll have to show you them. They turned out so good. Oh my god, she completed a project. Well, wow. I was gonna tell you that I completed the project, but I actually haven't completed it fully. I did bake them last night because you had to wait a little bit for them. You paint them and then you bake them in the oven. Okay. To like sediment. But you can't do that for like 24 hours. So I had to wait. And then you have to Mod Podge them with a dishwasher safe Mod Podge. So that's my last step. I'm almost done. I will see this through because I have three other people's plates. So they're gonna be like, where's my plate? But I'll show you what they look like. They were so cute and it was so fun to do. Oh my gosh. We all ended up deciding on one plate because some people like want to do a plate for each kid, and then that's that kid special plate. But I said this in the podcast a couple weeks ago. I wanted to just do one plate for the family. I like that. And then I almost wrote like the Plata family on it, and I shied away from that because I want someday. I'm really this as I was doing this plate, I was thinking, God, I'm really putting a lot of pressure on this fucking plate. Like if this plate breaks in the oven or like in two years, if like a toddler drops it, like I'm gonna be dishwasher. Don't you dare. Right? You just hand wash. But I'm gonna be like really upset and putting a lot of like nostalgia already into this plate and I haven't even started it yet. But were you thinking that grandchildren someday? Yeah, like Mila's gonna have a different last name, and then her kids are gonna come over, and I want them to use the special plate that I've had since 2026. And I'm gonna be like, the Plata family, they're not the Plata's anymore. So I ended up just putting happy birthday on it. And I might write a little something on the back, Sharpie before I cure it or whatever. In the year you made it. In the year we made it. That's a good idea. Yeah. So that they can see it and be like, wow, this plate's so fucking old. Made by great, great, great plate. Yes. I mean, that's the hope for this plate is that it's pass on in generation. Like, I want it to be my funeral, and everyone's mad at each other because they don't, they they all want the plate. And it's like and it's like, yeah, it's like dividing my kids a little bit. Not like enough to where they like hate each other, but like a little bit like that's my plate. No, I want mom's plate. No, I want mom's plate. Like, okay. And then like Julian's like, you can have mom's wedding ring. She's like, fuck the wedding ring. I want the fucking birthday plate, you know? Yeah. I think you should put in your will that you want to be buried with it. No, just that would be the greatest tea of all time. What if your kids don't care about this plate? No, I will be kind of upset. Yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna put pressure on them to love the plate, but I did put a lot of hard labor into it. They came home when we were like finishing it up and they were like, What are you doing? And we were like making birthday plates, special little plates for your birthday. And they were all just kind of like, okay, what can I have a snack? Like they didn't really care. And you know what? This would be a fun thing to do with your new friends that you've made after listening to the last. Yes, you go a craft night is a perfect get together. Yeah. Moms love crafts. You know what I want to get into? Yes. Mahjong. What the fuck is that? Never heard of mahjong? No. It's so chic. You know what it reminds me of though? You know the when people hit those big bells and it goes, dumb. Like a cute gong. Majgong. No, mahjong, I know nothing about it other than it is like a chic ladies who lunch game that you play. People who do it call it Maj. Okay, like do you play Maj Majing tonight? Okay, I can't have Maj. And everyone has their own Maj sets. Okay. Is this a card game? No, there's like um like little um, I don't know, little pictures involved somehow. I literally have no idea how to play it. But it is chic. But it's a game. Yes. Majong is a four-player 19th century Chinese strategy game using 136 to 144 tiles to build sets and pair to win. It looks like um for the people at home. This is looking like Chinese dominoes. It's got Kelly, I have news for you. You're the last person on planet earth to know what this is. Oh, really? Everyone knows looks like dominoes. I would never have so anyway, you can like get your own set and it's like a whole ass thing. I don't have time to be in a mahjong club. I'm fully committed to my book club. Okay, this seems like a tax bracket above me's type of vibe. Perhaps mine as well, but you know, I don't care. I'm mah. Does book club have a season? Are you guys ending or is book club and infinite? I don't know. If you're gonna be like when book clubs in, it's all mahjong. No, I don't like it being ended. And I'm the president, so I say no. If you guys are listening, no, we're meeting over the summer. Everything gets canceled over the summer. Why? That's when we're the most in need. I mean we got all the kids. That's when you really need a break. I mean, we don't have dance, we don't have a sport, we don't have school in summer. Yeah, like, yeah, we're still. That's when you need a community. Hell bad. Yeah, yeah, book clubs, book club for sure. Yeah, but uh Maj is so chic. That looks really chic. You know what I want to do one of these days? I want to have a Jeopardy night where I write all the questions, but it's all relevant to like the friends at the party. Like who shit their pants in seventh grade, you know, 500, Alex. Like um, on Friends when Oh, did they do that? Well, it was Monica and Rachel and then Chandler and Joey because they wanted the they wanted the bigger apartment. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Every year we, every summer we have a big family reunion. We call it family camp. And I was just heard me talk about it a million times, but it's super fun. My mom's huge extended family, and the one year, and it's kind of whoever can come comes. Yeah. Well, the one year, everyone was coming. And so Marco and I wrote a family trivia. See, like that is so fun. It was a blast. I had people like send. Did you do a lot of questions? Yeah. Oh, you had them all send in. I had people send in like fun facts about themselves, like facts that other people should know. Like I graduated high school in this year. So it was like true or false. So-and-so graduated high school in this year. And we made a playlist to go with it. So, like after each question, we set a timer for like 30 seconds and played like a song that went with the question. Oh, that's fun. Where we said, like, who's what whose first wedding song was that? And then played the song. Played the song. Yeah. It was my God, that's that's exactly what I want. Yeah, it was. And that's a good example. I would be like, who has a family camp every year? And someone would have to be like, oh my God, it was it's Emily. You have to really know your friends. It was fun too, because like my mom has a lot of siblings. So I felt like we learned stuff too. Um, and it was funny to like hear her and her siblings like argue over facts. So like, no, that's not how yeah. And then we got went to Goodwill and got a trophy. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Okay, should we get into our questions? Yeah. Areeny, let's see what you guys asked us this week. Okay. Hi, girlies. Here's my question. I love my in-laws, but when they watch my son, they never follow my rules. They aren't big rules, more like little ones, but it's still very frustrating when we tell them to do something a certain way and they disregard us. Am I wrong for not even wanting to let them watch him anymore? Free child care and free. I said what I said. Period. No, I think there's a fine line. Like if you tell them he's two, he can't have popcorn and they're giving him popcorn and not cutting his grapes, I'm gonna be a little ticked off because you're putting my kid's life in danger. If he's not in a car seat when you're taking him to the store, I'm gonna be ticked off. Of course. But you know, if he if they let him have a Snickers bar and he stays up till 9:30, yeah. You gotta pick your battles. Yeah. Yeah. No, I that's a big thing for me, is that I always say that is that free childcare really isn't free. I mean, my parents were like our main childcare when Nora was an infant, but that was mostly because of COVID and most of the daycares like were closed. And yeah, when I went over there and Nora was like knocking over this like vase off my mom's mantle. And I was like, oh my God, Nora stab. She goes, Oh, she loves doing that. I was like, okay, time to go to daycare. I mean, because I was like, I I don't want my parents to have to like punish my kids and be like, you know, have to reprimand. I want them to have fun here, but like you can't come here for childcare if you're gonna like, you know, my mom would chew glass before she would tell her grandkids no. So like she goes to daycare and then they can go have their fun grandkid days. I mean, yeah, Ellie makes a good point though. What are the rules? Right. You're saying they're little ones. So it's like we always have to come back to we are, we are fully supporting you because we always do, no matter what. Yeah. The person could write in and be like, I cheated on my spouse. And we'd be like, that's okay. And you know what? It happens. Yeah. Or maybe, okay, so it's like the problems are things that because baths and bedtime that can be kind of like regimented. So maybe that's the problem, is that like your routine and stuff, and then you're like, oh my gosh, like I said, we had to do a bath and you didn't give them a bath and now I'm annoyed, or okay, then fine. Maybe have them come over and hang out with the kid in the morning. Yeah. All he has to do is play. No, like that's nighttime. You're giving them a lot, maybe. Go on a date for brunch. Right. And run to Costco. And there's not a lot they can fuck up. Yes. There's nothing you can fuck. I think that's hard too because when you're, especially when you're a new parent, like first kid, you really get that routine down and that's the only thing keeping you sane. Yeah. Is that as sick him he gets a bottle at 6 30, he gets a book, and at 7, he gets a bath, you know? And to just like give them to your parents and for them to be like, ah, you know, I raised you and you turned out just fine. And you're like, no, but listen to me. He gets a bottle at six and then he gets a book at 6 30, you motherfucker. It's hard to let that go. So if it's little things like that, you kind of gotta get a lot. Yeah. But, you know, if it's putting, if you're giving him peanut butter, he's got a peanut butter allergy. Yeah. And they're just shooting him with an Epipin after. You know, maybe, maybe you're justified. You're always justified. You know what? Of course. You're not wacko. Yeah. Buy a babysitter. It's their fault. They suck. Okay, so I went through my partner's phone. Hmm. So I went through my partner's phone. I know, I know. But I had a gut feeling. I didn't find anything bad exactly, but there were conversations that felt a little too friendly for my comfort with one of his female coworkers. I have a pit. This is bad. Now I feel guilty for snooping, but also weird about what I saw. Do I admit it or do I just sit on this information? Oh, me, I'm gonna turn into uh Sherlock motherfucking homes and I'm gonna get every detail and then I'm gonna confront. But what about you? Ah I think you gotta confront. Yeah. Yeah. If it if it feels uncomfortable to you, it's because it is. And you snooped. So there was a reason you were snooped. Yeah. Because I I can't tell you the last time I've ever looked into Noe's phone. No. If I did, the worst I'd probably find is like bad chat GBT questions that you should know the answers to. Yeah. You are obviously having a suspicion, and that's why you looked. So I'm sad. Well, first of all, I don't think that you need to feel like bad about snooping. No. I mean, I think anybody would have done that if they had concerns, but like, yeah, you have to address it. Emotional cheating is cheating. Emotional cheating is cheating. Oh no. Oh, I'm sad. I'm sorry, mama. But you need to confront. Yeah, we need to find out more information. And you don't, yeah, you do need to feel guilty. Oh, oh dear. And if he becomes defensive immediately, yeah. That's telling. Uh gosh. I have a friend who I follow online, and I swear every time I see her post, I feel worse about myself. She's constantly traveling, doing exciting things, always looks put together. And I know social media isn't real life, but it still affects me. I've unfollowed her before, but then I feel guilty, so I follow her again. In real life, I actually like her. She's nice and we get along. But online I spiral. Now I find myself checking her page even when I'm trying not to. At what point is it okay to just protect your peace and unfollow someone you actually like as a person? I also struggle with that. And like we said last time, you would never have any friends in your circle that would make you feel that way. So if you have a friend online that's making you feel that way, I think you need to unfollow for sure. Or is maybe this just bringing up some of your insecurities. If you like her as a person and maybe she's just happy. So we can be happy for her. But if it affects your mental health. Oh, you can unfollow her. Yes, that's what I said. Yeah. You can unfollow her, but maybe look, you know, a little inward. You know what I think you should do? I don't think you should unfollow her, but there is an option to like mute a person. I think that she did. She said she said I unfollowed her, but then I feel guilty and I follow her again. I think she muted and then unmuted. Just keep her muted. She doesn't know that she's muted. She's never gonna know she's muted. You can check in on her time to time if you feel so inclined. But then that way you're still following her, you're still friends in real life, but your mental health is yeah. And also, like, why are you why is her page making you upset if you like her in real life? Normally, somebody's page who annoys me is somebody because it's like they annoy me in real life. I think it's a little bit of jealousy. She's constantly traveling, doing exciting things, always looks put together. I know social media isn't real, but it affects me. Maybe she looked that way. Maybe she looks at your page and she's jealous of you. Yeah. You know, I don't know you, but maybe you have kids and you know, stuff that she wants. The grass is always greener. I was just about to say that you that you told me that earlier when I was saying I was complaining to Emily about my house always being messy and how I hate it. And I was saying that Emily's house is always spotless. And she said, Well, I'm type A. And being type A and cleaning comes with its own challenges. The grass isn't always greener. Maybe she's looking at your messy bun. Yeah. Thinking, I wish I could just be a cool mom that didn't do shit. Yeah. And I feel like I have to be put together all the time, and this sucks. She likes maybe she's insecure because she can't leave the house without a full face on. Oh, yeah. So yeah, everybody, like, first of all, everyone's allowed to be happy and have fun and do fun things in life, and we can be happy for her. Yeah. But everyone's also, everyone has issues that they're dealing with. Yeah. So yeah, maybe she's looking at your page. Yeah. I feel like since becoming a mom, I've developed social anxiety. I used to want to be out and about, but now find myself making excuses to stay at home. My friends have asked me on play dates, but the thought of going out with my toddler seems so stressful. I'd rather just stay in with her. How do I fix this? It is hard to leave your house sometimes, depending on the age of your kids, but it's also sometimes hard to stay in your house. Okay, you need to listen to our episode last week. Yeah. But also, like you pick your heart. It's hard to stay in and feel lonely, and you're, you know, they're making a mess of your playroom, and that's, you know, making. You feel anxious. It's hard to pack a diaper bag and you know. You've got a blowout that you're preparing for. You're always preparing for the worst. Like what if they have a blowout? What if they pee through their diaper? What if they have a meltdown in the middle of the, you know, story time and then I look horrible? Or wait, the worst case scenario. What if we run out of snaps? Yes. Yes. Yeah. But I think that people, like when you become a mom, you um feel safe in your four walls. So you're like, I'm just gonna stay here because I know I have everything I need here. But you know, what's really the worst that could happen if you go somewhere? Okay, fine. They have an absolute meltdown. Yeah, everybody's go home. Yeah. Um, I mean, don't pay like $200 to go to the zoo. Yeah, it's slow at first. It's in the library, get to the park. But no, I think that and it gets easier. Like you start going out and you're like, okay, we we did that. Yeah. Went to the park and no one died, you know. So, but I do think you need to get out of the house for your mental health. When I was postpartum with Julian, I was going through horrible postpartum depression. And no, it was my first kid, so I didn't have like anything to do. I mean, you're just in that newborn bubble when it's your first kid and you have no other responsibilities. So Noah went back to work and I would just spend all day on the couch and I would like watch TV all day and I would just breastfeed him and then he would nap on my chest. So you didn't nap on chest, but I didn't realize I was not getting off the couch. Like I didn't want to. I was anxious and I was really depressed. Noe would come home every day and be like, just can we just go for a walk? Let's just go for a walk. Do you want to go for a walk? And I'm like, no, I don't want to. I don't want to. I'd make excuses. I did not want to get off that couch because I was just so anxious. And one day I, it was like two weeks in. He was like, let's just go outside. It's nice out. It's June. You'll love it. Let's let's just try. Just go outside. We'll walk around the walk. And it was so wonderful. I was like, why have I been like so anxious to come outside? I was so anxious to come outside. Outside my house. And once I did, I was like, oh my God, this is so not scary at all. I was so scared. I still remember the first time that I took both kids to the playground down the street, like by myself. Yeah. And I was like, okay, we're we're in the stroller. I have everything I need. We can do this. Yeah. Uh and I felt so brave after I was like, Yeah, look, we did it. We went to the bar. We didn't even get in the car. Like, we literally walked 10 minutes. And I was like, I can do this. Yeah. So I mean, maybe just start with that. Start with a lot. Just get out. Yeah. Yeah. But you gotta get out. Yeah. I want to be a gentle parent, but sometimes I just want to say, because I said so and move on with my life. I feel like I'm constantly overexplaining everything and it's exhausting. Am I doing this wrong? Or is no one else talking about how hard it actually is? I think that we're all gentle parents until we can't gentle anymore. Now I'm not saying throw your kid across the room or whatever. I'm not saying, you know, do terrible things. But yes, it's very precious when, you know, Timmy's having an absolute meltdown and you're like, so let's talk through your feelings. And yes, of course I do that as best I can. But if we have been doing nothing but melting down since nine o'clock, okay, you know, like time's out. Yeah, time's out. Yeah. So yeah, and and this is such like a generational thing. I was gonna say that. I feel like when gentle parenting came out at first, people thought it truly meant gentle voices, gentle reasoning. But affirmative parenting can be gentle parenting too. Yes. Um, and I think that somewhere along the way, people lost that. And now we're kind of realizing that not always, you know, sometimes it is. You need to listen to mommy. This is why we're doing it. And it is like very affirmative. And that's gentle parenting. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, like the other day, I like snapped about something really stupid. Like, I think I told Nora to like hold still. I was braiding your hair like five times, and she was like, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. Yeah. And I like snapped and she got sad. And I did apologize. I said, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten that upset. Just next time, if you could just hold still when I ask you to hold still. Like, it's okay to also like backtrack and apologize. Yes, I agree. When it's it's justified. It's justified. I don't think that you need to apologize for like putting your kid in timeout or like putting your foot down. Or like, God forbid, like raising your voice. Like, yeah. I mean, I think a lot of people would disagree with me on that, but I really don't think there's anything wrong with raising your voice when it's necessary. No, I agree. Sometimes it's it's necessary. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a way to go about gentle parenting. I think the super, super gentle side of it, that's for super, super gentle kids. I didn't make any of those. Yeah. Sure did not make any of those. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I think you're doing great. It is exhausting trying to explain everything over and over again. Yeah. You know what? Julian is in this stage right now where he wants to know the details of every single thing. And I have to now be like the encyclopedia. Like we're in the coffee line and he's like, how do people see? And I'm like not trying to explain like optic nerve and shit to him. So I'm like, you know, we've got a cord that goes from our eyeball to our brain and it tells our brain what we're seeing. And he's like, Well, what if you don't have that? Okay, well, then you're blind. Well, what's blind when you can't see? Well, how can you not see? Well, you don't have that. I mean, we're like going into it and into it and into it. And that's where he is right now. And it is so hard. Yeah. But also, like when my kids are having a mental breakdown over something that they're mad about, that doesn't bother me because I'm like, I get it. You're mad. Like, you know, that I said you can't have another bowl of ice cream or whatever. Like, if you're allowed to be mad, you can't like hurt somebody, but like you can be upset. And at Nora's age, I say, if you're if you're gonna be upset, then you just need to go to your room and then you can come down when you're calm. You're I'm not gonna like tell you, you know, you can't be upset about something. Yeah, we say the same thing. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to take it out on mommy, it's not okay to take it out on sister, but we can be mad. I started saying, um, you just need some space from talking. So now, like when Julian or Mila, when they're like pissed off, I just need some space from talking. And I okay, I don't want to talk to you either. Me do. Honestly. I have a friend who I used to enjoy hanging out with, but lately has been on my nerves. We really don't have much in common other than we have kids and live in the same town. We don't share the same parenting styles, religious beliefs, or political views. Her kids are also horribly behaved. How do I break up the friendship? I don't feel like in this season of life we need to be friends. Goodbye. Oh. That's a great way to say it. I don't think in this season of life we need to be friends. Yeah. Yeah. Or uh we don't need to hang out. Yeah. You know, like I just don't really feel like we have much in common. Yeah. I mean, how good of friends are you? Like maybe you could just slowly back away. Yeah. Yeah. It's time to make a new friend. Yeah. No, I don't, I don't like keeping friends around who don't like bring me joy. Yeah. I don't have time. It's so awkward to break up with a friend like that, especially if it's like your preschool pal and you like you like see them still at drop off and pick up. That's hard to do. But sometimes people Or God forbid your neighbor. Yeah. But you don't realize sometimes people how they truly are when you just like meet them and then that's what we talked about in the last podcast last week. It's like hard once you you don't realize someone at the playground is going to become someone that you really don't get along with. It sounds like this person was maybe a friend of hers before. Yeah. And now it's kind of like, you're different, I'm different. We've we've grown different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay to let friendships end. Yeah. I definitely have, not in motherhood, but in life, have had friendships that have ended. And there was no like falling out. There was no yelling at each other. There was no big confrontation when people are like, why don't you talk to her anymore? I never have anything really, like no real reason. We just were different people. We realized we were different people. We kind of just grew apart and it was slowly and it just kind of fizzled out. I think truly, if you're that different, it's gonna just fizzle out. It's gonna run its course itself. There doesn't need to be a falling out. No. I would say maybe start subtle, stop answering about play dates and stuff. If she doesn't read the room, then you just need to be like, I don't think we have anything in common. Anyways, that's it. That's all we had. Fun advice episode. Next week is May. Next week is our month, bitches. It's actually Mother's Day, and it's my anniversary that weekend. And it's that month. And it's your birthday? This will be a fun month for us. Yeah, my birthday is just a couple days after Mother's Day. Maybe it's actually kind of a lot. It's like the first the last month of school. It is a lot. Yeah. Yes, it's a lot going on. Yeah, but gear up. Yeah. I hope you guys have a great weekend. Go out and do some fun spring stuff. Hey, have a good weekend. See you in a minute.