REAL TIRED MOMS, REAL WILD BIRTH STORIES

Mama's, it's our month! In this episode, the girls catch up on pop culture, Ellie's weekend plans and Emily's heath scare. This month is allll about the moms and so this week we are taking it back to the start as the girls are reading your wild birth stories!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello, Mamas. I'm Emily. And I'm Ellie. And this is Mama Needs a Minute. Happy Friday. Hi, everyone. It's May. It's May Day. It's May. Today is May Day. What's that mean? It's the first day of May. May Day, Mayday. Oh, oh, okay. I don't know why it's called Mayday. Okay. I think of Mayday, I think of the yeah, what it why is it called Mayday? I have no idea. Because when I think of Mayday, I think of the Handmaid's Tale, which I know you didn't watch. No. Their underground like rebel organization that was helping to fight from the inside. They were called Mayday.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Oh my. Yeah. That's wild. I did watch one episode and I said, that's enough.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

And it's so me. Such a show. Yeah, my friend's reading the book right now. You're not reading the book right now, are you? Okay, then it's my friend.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

And I've already told you this, but I've gotten like three separate times in my life that I look like that chip.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

You do. Elizabeth Moss. Yeah. You definitely do. I could see it for sure. Well, I just started um The Testaments last night. So it's their spin-off series. That's what I think of when I think of May Day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

You know what it kind of makes me think of, though, is because you know how they say it when a plane's going down? It's that documentary about that guy who stole that plane.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

I think you and I were talking about it. We were. Just like last week. I kind of want to watch it, but I don't. He stole the plane to unalive himself. Yeah. And flew around for a while and had no flight experience, correct? No. And just was in the air doing flips for a while. Yeah. And I guess he was like a really nice guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

And he said to the um, oh my gosh, what are they called?

SPEAKER_00 1:42

The pilots? No. Air Force Control? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

He said to the um control people, he's like, Oh, I'm sorry to ruin your day like this. And I was just like, oh my god, that's so sad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

You should watch it. Wow, that was a big downer. Yeah. Happy May. Happy May. It's Mother's Day month. It's all about us. It's my anniversary month. It's my birthday month. It's a great month for us. Yeah, it is. But I heard somebody call it May Sumber the other day, and that is so true. Because it's like, let's just get the fuck on to summer. No, it's it's because it's nuts. Once you have kids in school, since I'm busy, it's crazy. Like the end of the school year, shenanigans are off the chain. And right now Nora's doing like the ABCs of the school year.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

It says countdown, so you get closer to Z.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Z is like zip up your backpacks and zoom on out of here or something like that. So it's like every day we today was J Verjamis Day. So I'm like, oh my God, we gotta remember the pajamas. Oh my God. One spirit week is enough. Alphabet of spirits is too much spirit. And also I'm like, oh my God, we're already at J.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Like, we don't have much school left.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Were they all like involved, very involved? Yeah. Or were some of them just like which kiss your mommy goodbye or going to school? Tomorrow is K for kindness. They're gonna talk about kindness. Oh, okay. So, but it almost makes it harder because you're like, Am I supposed to be doing this something with this? Or are you supposed to wear a kite shirt tomorrow? Like it's for kindergarten. What are we doing tomorrow? Yeah. So no, not all of them is like wear this or do that. Do your kids in school early and start early, or do they in we're out like I don't know, like the 15th, 16th week of May? Yeah, so an normal-ish. I mean it's earlier compared to what we did, but they also don't have makeup days. Remember those? Yeah, like what do you mean? Like for snow makeup? Because they have Chromebooks now and stuff. Because they can do e-learning, which is so nice. Yeah. See, everybody bitches about e-learning, but I'm like, I'd prefer that. Over another week of school. Like, I'd rather them get a school day knocked out when it's five degrees and snowy out. Yeah. Like it's 70 and sunny. Then like pools are opening and we're still doing algebra. I remember in first grade, we had a huge snowstorm, and I think we missed like 10 days of school. And we had to make all those days up, and my school did not have air conditioning. And I can like have this vivid memory of all of us just sitting in this room so hot. The teacher had like four fans on, and we just ate freeze pops all day. Yeah, she was like, These babies are not gonna be learning, so like they're hot as heck. Yeah. So they just we just ate popsicles all day. I mean, what a day. What a life. I can remember two big snowstorms in my like one in high school and one in elementary school. And of course, elementary school was like, fuck yeah. Yeah, out for 10 days. My parents probably like lost their jobs. You know what I did then? And I'm like, yay! No, you know what we did? I I remember exactly what we did. We watched Titanic so many times. You and your sister? Yeah, and I was like seven. What the fuck? Yeah. And we were like, look, that guy's like sliding to his death. Look, she's naked, and he's painting her. Like that's so crazy. What were we doing? We talked about that a couple episodes, though. You just we it was a different time. I have a preschooler, so it's not super crazy yet, like the end of the school year. It's gonna be basically just like, I mean, there's teacher's week. Oh, yes. And yes, that's this week. And so it's like every day is like Monday. Draw a picture for your teacher and then whatever, whatever, whatever. But okay, that's like little things. Yeah, bring your teacher's favorite snack one day, things like that. And then the end of school year. We have one field trip to the zoo coming up, and that's really it. Yeah. Anyway, what's new with you? Oh, okay. Well, nothing new specifically with me, but we have a jam track weekend. No, my husband, is running the um Indianapolis mini. Wait, I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, yes, I did. I forgot. Yeah. Do they run through they run through my neighborhood? Uh, I don't have a clue where they run, honey. I see him zoom at the beginning and zoom at the end. Wait, are they are you going? Yeah. Are you making posters? Yeah. Oh cute. We wait. I don't know if I mentioned this. If I've mentioned that he's going, because I feel like I just told someone this. But the last time he ran. So my husband was a runner all through high school. He like broke a lot of records. His name's still on our like school. Oh shit. Wall. Yeah, he's in the newspaper and shit. He um he got back into running a little bit after we graduated college and he ran the mini um when we were the year we were getting married. And it was like right before we're getting married, because we got married in May. And I made a sign that said, I'm not even as bright yet, and he's already trying to run away. Yes. Which was a hoot for the oldies. Yeah. I mean, the elderly really ate that up. That was Chef's kiss. Yeah. And um, then this year, I'm gonna let the kids make signs for him and stuff. Julian said, I'm gonna make a sign that says he's the best daddy in the whole world. I love him so much. I said, Mila, what's your sign gonna say? And she said, I love my mommy. I was like perfect. Stamp of a rubber. Not gonna make this all about me. Not to make all about me. No, he so he's running it again. He's been training for months. What's his pace? Girl, fast. I don't know. He's fast. He has one of those watches, like a Garmin watch that tells him the pace he needs to be at, I guess. I don't know a lot about I don't run. The boobs, they don't run. That's not it for me. So I really don't dabble my toes in that. Yeah. Very much. One singular time in the like 16 years we've been together, I asked him to help me start running. And that was like very, very short-lived. Like once the boobs start jiggling, I was like, this is not for me. Everything's jiggling. Everything hurts with each step. Yeah. I'm hurting. I don't feel tough refugees. Yeah. I don't think it's good for your body either. I really don't think so either. It's good for your cardiovascular health. Yeah, but not your knees. But not your knees. It is a really cool race. So they run through the Indie 500. Yeah. And they like people kiss the bricks. If you're not from the Indianapolis area, it's a really fun run. And I think his goal for next year is a full marathon. That sounds horrible. So yeah, I love him. No. God love him. That's fun. Bad idea. Horrible idea. Have you ever been to the Indie 500? No. Me neither. I don't need to. I know. It's such a bad hoosier to not like it's the I wouldn't match the energy. It's kind of like Vegas for me. I don't need to do it. I don't feel the need to go to Vegas either. No. That's not my type of vacation. When I see pictures of Vegas, I smell it. Yeah. It's like cat PO. Yes. Yeah, it doesn't smell good. Yeah, it smells like a litter box. I guess. Yeah. And like cheap cologne for some reason. I think I would only want to go for like the food. And if there was some like famous artist doing a residency that was like so, you know. Like the Backstreet voice at the sphere, that would have been Yeah, like that would have been cool. Yeah, so I haven't really been doing much, but besides still spring cleaning my house, and I am on a huge audiobook kick. Oh, what are you listening to? Well, a bunch of smut. I couldn't listen to that. That would make me weird. My God. Somebody at work just said to me, Does that make you feel like awkward? You're just like sitting in the car with it. I'm like, oh, I enjoy it. I like reading smut, but I wouldn't like listening to it. It's this is what I told her. I like an audiobook that's like a romance or smut, even if it's just a romance, because not all of them have been smuddy. I just listened to one that was very PG. It was more so just a romance. It was an Abby Jimenez book. I know you've read her before. Um, I like it when there are two narrators, when there is a female narrator and a male narrator, and they're doing each other's own lines. They're doing each other. Yeah. They're doing each other with their own voices. Yeah, that would be better. When it is a female, just one female, and she's like, oh, Brad, yeah, baby. Yeah. I'm like, I'm creeped out, I'm cringed out. I hate this. I absolutely hate it. Yeah. You have to have two narrators. Yeah. And I actually read the Avatar series when it first came out, and then I listened to it all on audiobook. They had a dramatized version. Yes. I like this. Have you ever read a dramaticized version? No. Not only are there separate, like there's multiple characters, multiple people playing these characters, not just one girl playing all the female parts and one guy playing all the male parts. And not only that, but they have like sound effects in the background, like the winds blowing, or like the when they're fighting, you hear like swords in the background. It's so good. That would be a really good TV show. I think they're making it a TV show. They are? Yeah, I'm almost positive. Let me look it up. I feel like that would be such a good TV show. Yeah, my favorite audiobooks are the kind that um have like multiple authors for sure. Poor of Thrones and Roses, which is Avatar if you live under rock. TV series adaptation is currently on Wait. I was reading that to tell you when it was coming out. Is currently on hold after Hulu officially scrapped the project in 2025. Oh my god. Hulu, if you're listening, we who have a lot of weight in this, uh, would think I think it'd be a great idea. I think, but but sometimes the what's it called? Like who is making the movie really matters. Producer? Not even like the person, but like, you know how like HBO Max had heated rivalry. So it was good. Oh, I see what you mean. But like if Netflix had heated rivalry, no, some sometimes it just depends on who owns it. So I really I don't know how well it would have even gone with Hulu. Speaking of heated rivalry, maybe it means HBO Max. Yeah. Speaking of heated rivalry, I told you I just read the first book of the series. You guys, it was so good. You mean the second? No, it was it's actually the first. Heated rivalry is the second. What? So the first book is about Kip and Scott. Scott. But but wait, because in the Heated Rivalry in the TV show, Kip and Scott met. Yes. But in the book, they've already met. The book so in Heated Rivalry the TV show, that episode is basically Kip and Scott's story that they shrunk to one episode. Okay. But um, I absolutely love the book. I love them. They're pretty better than Heated Rivalry, you thought? I think I do. Really? Because neither one of them are assholes. Like, I love Ilya. He's hot. Yeah. He's like mean vibes. Yeah. Like that kind of trope. Whereas Kip and Scott are precious. Yeah. Yeah. So I have Heated Rivalry on hold on my Libby. Should I should I read that other one first? It doesn't really matter. Okay, they're kind of like, Yeah. I love a book series where characters you see in different books. Yes. Like they make little appearances. Ilya is in the first one a little.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Like just as like an asshole, like what's what I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Like a side character? No, like a person that you're playing against on the team. You're right. Yes. Just like an ac dick. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

But um, it's not like a main part. And um, what's his face is in it at all.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

But heated rivalry is so popular that I'm on I've been on hold for forever. I wonder if I should just read that one because I bet it's less popular and I could get it quicker. I loved it. But I haven't had time to read lately, and I'm really, really trying to do my New Year's resolutions this year. And one of them was to read 30 books for 30 years, because I just turned 30. And I haven't had no time to read. And so I've been doing audiobooks because I count that. Yes, as a book read. Me too. Now, what speed do you listen to it at? Like 1.5 to 2. I'm not whatever the normal is, I go up a couple. Absolutely. Because damn.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

And once you listen to it a little faster, if you try to listen at one, you're like, I'm gonna um like hurt myself. This is horrible. I hate listening to it at speed one.

SPEAKER_00 13:55

I'm a speed reader too, though. Yes, me too. Yes, I'm like uh. So I don't like I can't, I don't have the time or the patience. No, but Marco, if he hears my book, he's like, what's happening?

SPEAKER_01 14:07

That's that's snowy too. He starts like twitching.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

He's like, why are you listening to it like that?

SPEAKER_01 14:10

Why I can't understand a word they're saying. And I'm like, I understand it perfectly.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Sometimes when I'm scrolling TikTok, um, somebody will start off a conversation and they're like, so guys, I have to tell you a story. I'm like, scroll, that was way too slow. And then you'll get to one where she's like, okay, guys, listen up. So I went to the mall yesterday and when I was at the mall, and I'm like, this is my perfect speed. I don't even have to z to times it. I do times mine a lot. You do? Not on TikTok, I don't have it, but you know, Instagram reels five days later when it's speaking of being old, I'm about to turn 35. Oh my god. I know. Are you ready? Yeah. But I like the sound of 35. Because it's even. No, I just I like my 30s. We all know this. Yeah. 35, still alive. I think it's gonna be a great year. Yeah. Yeah. Uh do you have big plans for your May birthday? I do. I have a few friends who were gonna go get tacos and margaritas downtown one night. What time should I be there? Okay. Just kidding. It's gonna be fun. Yeah. I was like on your actual birthday. That's your plan? No. Oh. Guess what I'm saying? Because you work. I knew that. Which when you have a schedule like ours, that never has to happen. But there was just a lot that um that week, and I was like, I literally have to work my birthday. It's a Monday night. So I was like, Yeah, whatever. Just celebrate over the weekend. My birthday almost always falls.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Well, it always falls close to, but sometimes on Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

And I have made it very clear that Mother's. These are two events. There's there are two events. Yeah. We're not doing one out to eat, we're not doing one set of flowers. Absolutely not. Period on the out to eat. Period. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, period on the out to eat. Like this is there will be two instances. It's like the people whose birthdays fall on Christmas. That's two separate events. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like these are my big events. At least with like Christmas, like if your birthday is the 23rd, it's always gonna be the 23rd. Christmas is always the 25th. When it's like Mother's Day and it changes every year, and it does sometimes happen on your birthday, especially I'd be like two separate events for it last year. Oh yeah. It was on Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

But we went out to eat on Friday and on Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Yeah. As we should. Yeah. Um, and then in um other serious news, I need to talk about my health scare.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Because I need to talk about my health scare so that you guys go get your screenings done. So I went to the dermatologist and I had to have a mole removed and it got sent and it came back selonoma.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Scary. Um very scary. Very scary. So they had to go back in and excise it. And they called me today and they said they got all the margins. Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

I don't know how they couldn't have gotten all the margins. You guys, there's like a bullet hole in my leg.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

It is very large. It's large. It's a half dollar. Um, anyways. You have been very brave. I have been brave, damn it. You have been very brave. If someone called me and said you have melanoma, I would be drawing up a will. Um well, I was freaking out.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

I was very blasé about it at first.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Yeah. Um you're like, I'm fine, guys, I'm not dying. It's literally stage, what did you say was? Stage zero. Yeah. Um, okay. So stage zero melanoma means it's only in that spot.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

And now I have to go every six months. But maybe this was your reminder that you need to go to the dermatologist.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

How often were you going before? Yearly. Now you're going every six months. Yeah. For eternity? No, for four years.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Okay. And as long as they don't find any other spots that come back as any melanoma, then I go back to yearly.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

But you guys, I mean, like I, this is like in my family history, and I'm very pale, and we were all so stupid in high school. Tanning beds, tanning beds, tanning oil, burn to a crisp. And now that just makes me sick. So I just purchased my rash card so I look like a toddler at the pool. Do you have a pretty sun hat? You do, because you had one from our vacation. And honestly, like in adulthood, I'm really good about my sunscreen. I don't fuck with it. Like, I'm like, no, I'm I'm gonna be careful now. But I mean, what the damage is sometimes already done. Yeah. Anyway, get your booby smashed, get your pap smears, go to the dermatologist, get your colonoscopy. Get your colonoscopies. I mean, uh, yeah. Take care of yourself for sure. So I'm like, now I just need to know that that happened and I need to be careful. And, you know, there's nothing I can do about it now. But it is a little alarming when you're like, oh my God, that could have been really fucking bad. And it wasn't like an ad like crazy abnormal looking mole. It was very like wishy washy. Yeah. It was small, it was dark, but like my doctor really, thank God for him, he had really had no reason to take it, but he was like, I don't like it, so I'm just gonna take it. Because if you weren't like if you weren't someone going regularly, you'd probably just be like, okay. I wouldn't have thought of that mole until it was too late. Yeah. I frequently wish that I could just go in once a year for like a full body MRI. Yeah. So, anyways, there's that. Okay, let's get into this week after all that. That was kind of a Modge Podge of smut and cancer and marathons and mini marathons. Yeah. Um this week, we're gonna, I felt that this month, since it's all about us, all about mommies, we should really hone in on everything we go through. So from beginning to end. So I thought, let's do your wild labor and delivery stories, and we'll talk about anything crazy that happened to you guys. Yeah. I mean, my deliveries, I mean, Julian flopped out like a fish for the first one. He was kind of just like, uh. And it's so funny because I have my birth video. I recorded both of my births, just the part where they're coming out. Like I was like, let me know when I'm crowning, basically, and I'll hit start on the camera. I'm not gonna record like three hours of pushing. So is it full frontal? It's side. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's from the side. So you see, you don't see your butthole. No. Okay. You just see like you just hear things mostly and see. I honestly haven't watched them in forever. And it's Mother's Day month. I should I should bring that back and make everybody watch it in this house. Um, I need to minute. Yeah, yeah. I'll put a YouTube link for your viewing pleasure. Actually, Julian and Mila, since you don't really see much, and it's not like I'm like scream, I'm not like super screaming in pain. I think they would probably like to watch that themselves being born. There's only, I think it was Julian's I screamed fuck really loud in the video. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

I have to see it.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

I'll show you. He always has them on his phone. I never have storage, so he has all of them. But, anyways, it's so funny to watch back Julian's video because he came out with an apcar of four. If you don't know what that is, basically he came out flopping like a dead fish. Yeah. He needed a little help getting his pink. But I am so oblivious as like a you're on like a mental high of like I just did this for the first time ever, and like my baby's here. So in the video, he comes out and he's like, and they're like whisking him away, and then you hear them in the background like doing resuscitative measures on him. I'm oblivious. I'm like, Noe, did you see it? He has hair, he's so beautiful, Noah. Did you see? And they're back there, like literally helping him get alive. I'm oblivious. No, I mean, he's not medical either. Yeah. They were just like, we're gonna take him over here. And I was like, okay. Like, so tell him I love him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, what color's his eyes? And they're like, hold on, like we first things first, let's get a breathing. Literally. That's probably the craziest thing that really happened to me. Nothing super. You know what did piss me off though? It's not wild at all, but this was with Mila. I was nine months pregnant. Obviously in the hospital, about to start my induction, and I had ordered breakfast. And in the hospital I delivered at, you couldn't order for the husband. You could only order for yourself. But they gave you so much food. You could get like two main entrees, four sides, just for like me. So I was like, Oh, I'm just gonna order a bunch of food and then we can share it because he can't get his own tray. So I called and was like, you know, I'm I'll have French toast and scrambled eggs and blah blah blah. And I order it. And the lady stopped me halfway through and goes, Is this all for you? I was stunned. I'm like, literally, when you answer the phone, they know where you're calling from. I'm like, I'm on the postpartum floor or the labor and delivery floor. Yeah. And no, it wasn't all for me, but she doesn't know that. To her, I'm a nine-month pregnant woman ordering a shit ton of food. What a rude thing to ask. I was like, obviously it's all for me. Yeah, she deserves jail time. Yeah. And she was like, okay. And then she like finished the order and I was like, okay, no, you can have half this now. Wow. I hate her. No, actually, when I was postpartum, I had the exact opposite experience.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

I remember calling and being like, and am I allowed to order this as well? And they said, um, you just had a baby, you can order the entire menu. So just let me know when you're done.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

That's so nice of them. My uh deliveries weren't that wild either. Yeah, I didn't have anything crazy happen just. I do remember though with Nora, I was supposed to wear a mask. Oh, because COVID. Yeah. Um you were like, I ain't doing that. I can't breathe. And I have a memory too of like, I'm about to start pushing. And the doctor was in there and she was ordering masks. And she's like, sorry, she's like on her phone and she was like, I have a mask lady. That's where we were. Because you almost couldn't find them. You couldn't. I had to bring a homemade mask. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

Um, like from home to bring because they were like, we don't have masks and we're asking patients to bring them. Yes. So she was like, I have uh a mask lady. It was like a drug dealer.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

A mask. She's like, You want in on this? Two, three. So I I mean, other than that, it was Yeah, we're uneventful. Yeah. Well, somebody had some wild ones because a lot of people wrote in, yay, hey, I'll read the first one. Okay. I'm sorry for the length of this. Girl. Never be sorry for that. Okay. I'm sorry for the length of this. I went into labor, first pregnancy complete newbie, in the middle of the night. I knew it was real labor because I started shitting my brains out in preparation. I knew my baby was sunny side up from my last appointment two days prior. I cannot even begin to describe the pain of this labor. You don't have to, baby. We know. I deduced that I was experiencing back labor due to my baby's positioning. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I can only describe it as almost an out-of-body experience. I was dilated to a three for about eight hours, the back labor unrelenting. They told me I needed to be four centimeters before they would administer the epidural. The only times I can recall speaking that day were to ask when I could have the epidural. My water broke suddenly and the pain worsened tenfold. And then she put in parentheses, ow. I began vomiting profusely. I couldn't stop puking. With each heave, I felt the water spewing out of me. I felt like I was on the dual-end fire, one of I felt like I was a dual-ended fire hose. Puke spreeing out one end and water spewing out the other end. Oh my god. They wheeled me, my legs useless, to the delivery room. The durl, I croaked. They chucked my It's like the only the only thing she could say. Oh my god. For the love of God, give her an epidural. They checked my cervix. It was too late. My baby was coming. The pain finally made sense. I had dilated from a three to a 10 in about 20 minutes. My first and only baby born to a very unplanned, unmedicated labor and delivery. The post-delivery shakes ensued. I laid on the bed completely naked, shivering. I cannot fathom where my clothes were. My son was placed on my chest. Sometime later, I thought a man could never do this. A man could never. And then she said, best day of my life. This girl's got a career in creative writing. Let me tell you, mama, if you don't have a side hustle.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

I wonder if that's an only child.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Um, I know. If she was like, okay, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

We're done.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

The only thing I could say, an epidural. Christ. Just say she's four centimeters and give her an epidural. Yeah, why? Wait, did they say that she couldn't get one because she told she was four centimeters?

SPEAKER_01 26:19

That's what they said.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

That is ridiculous. That's ridiculous. I don't know where she's at, but I have always been told you can get an epidural, like you can sign your admission papers and call anesthesia. Yeah. For the epidural. Yeah. So that's crazy. Actually, with Mila, I did get my epidural, and then as soon as I got it after asking for it, I had a situation where I'd asked for the epidural and then they had like three stat C-sections. So I didn't get my epidural until like six hours after I had asked for it. As soon as I got it and they laid me back, I was like, she's coming out. So I my toes were numb at least. My epidural made me go nanite. I actually really yeah. My blood pressure was like 50 over dead.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

So the first time I was just like chatting away with the nurse because they have to sit in there for well, like right after you get the epidural.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

And I said, and so yeah, anyway, I don't feel very good.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

You had impending doom. No, and then I went nanite on the bed. Yeah. Like pouched out? Uh yeah, I don't remember. I remember her saying, I'm gonna call the anesthesiologist.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

Oh no. And I was like, good. Good. I'm taking a nap now.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Hello, Jesus. And then the second time I was like, by the way, this happened the first time. And they were like, okay. And they like put a bunch of fluid in me. Okay. And I said I'd really like to see what Jesus looks like one more time. It was horrible. So, um, that lady's story was funny. Next one. The doctor I had with my first was horrible. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

The whole vibe with the nurses changed when she would come in the room. The entire time I pushed, she sat there texting. My baby had the cord around his neck, and the doctor said, Oh my god, stop pushing. To which I responded, Oh my god, stop texting. No. That's hilarious, though. Way to call her out. But like, how awkward. Yeah. I don't like when the vibes aren't vibing. No, because in that vulnerable, vulnerable experience, you really need everybody in the room to be on the same page about the vibes. Yeah. When I was a labor nurse, I was pushing with this mom. I could tell she was anxious. And I said, Do you want to like listen to some music? And she was like, Well, I love Taylor Swift. And I was like, Oh my God, yeah, let's do that. And for like two hours, she pushed to all Taylor Swift songs. And that was probably the best labor and delivery I ever had the privilege of taking care of. The vibes were immaculate. And I think the baby came out to like love story or something like so ironic that we were like, okay, that like that was a perfect vibe for the rest. I know now I feel like I would have brought like twinkle lights, like I think people do, and like have a playlist and stuff. Some people do those like LED candles, like I have in my living room, just like battery operated candles. Yeah, that would be good too. That would be a good vibe. Yeah. But um, no, I didn't do any of that shit. I just showed up, got trepidoled, died, had a baby. Had a baby. Okay. See. During labor, my nurse accidentally broke my water and said, hmm, I think I might have broken your water. Let me smell it to be sure. She smelled it, and surely enough, she broke my water. I've never done that. Nurses are weird. But listen, that reminds me of have you ever seen the movie Baby Mama? Yes, hysterical. Hysterical, probably my comfort movie. Yes. My sister and I used to quote it just like back and forth. And there's that part where the little boy runs up to her and he's got brown something all over him. Is this chocolate or poop? Is this chocolate or poop? And she licks it and she goes, It's chocolate. And her sister, who didn't have kids, was like, what if that had been poop? And she's like, motherhood's messy. Yeah. Such a vibe. Yeah. I love that movie.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Let me smell it to be sure. When he goes, if my wife has to have sex with somebody else for this to happen, and she says, out of the question, at the same time, he says that's gonna cost sex.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Hysterical. Dak Shepard isn't that. That's who says that right. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

That is such a good movie.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Yeah. You know what's another good movie that I want to rewatch now?

SPEAKER_00 30:19

Bridesmaids. Hilarious. Hilarious. I want to watch Baby Mama now that you've said that now that we're talking about it. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

Yeah. I wish I was at an Arby's right now.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Because there's better food and cooler people there. Classic. Oh my. Okay. Ooh, a lengthy one. I love it. I had a precipitous labor and delivery with my son. Does everybody know class? Gather around. Raise your hand. Do we know precipitous? Okay, so this girly pop is in healthcare, by the way. We see you. Um precipitous means speed quick. That's what it means. I didn't even know it was called that until months later when I saw someone post about it in a mom's group. She's like, that was me. I had my son three hours after my water broke, rolled my whale ass out of bed at 7:30 a.m. Felt a pop, fluid gush down. I immediately called my husband, who was already at work, told him not to panic, that we were probably having plenty of time, and oh was I so very wrong. I called triage, they told me to pack my things up and head there. Well, within one hour, I was bent over the bed having contractions, trying to pack last minute things with no undies in a t-shirt dress with a washcloth between my legs. But this is bad. This is not good. Husband got home around 8:30. We arrive at the hospital, still with no undies on at 9:30. Literally, movie scene of my husband screwing up to the hospital. My wife's in labor. Triage nurse measured me at 10 centimeters. Husband asked the nurse, so can she get an epidural? She turned to him and left and said, Ha ha, no. Thank God a room was available. So they wheeled me in. Miraculously, my doctor was there that morning too. Pushed for 20 minutes and delivered my son at 10.15. I medicated natural bursts, the worst pain I've ever had in my entire life. Had somewhere between a second or third degree tear, so much lidocaine when he stitched me up and had to be cathet, which means she had to put have a catheter put in to empty your bladder. Because they make you pee and I literally couldn't. Yep, I was that woman. Everyone could hear screaming down the hall. Is it crazy to say I'd do that again? I healed very quickly, had no postpartum issues or anything. Also, not to mention my doctor wanted to schedule me for an induction, which would have been the day before my water broke, but I said no. I wanted to come on his own and he decided to arrive at 39 weeks and three days. That's funny. Wow. A precipitous deliver for delivery for your first labor is kind of crazy. Kind of nice. Kind of nice. Yeah. You don't have to go through a 24-hour labor. Although now when her son's, you know, pissing her off at 16, she can't be like, I didn't go through 24 hours of labor for you to act this way. Yeah. Because she had three. Yeah. But she also did. Yeah, it was outie. Yeah, she also had some auchies she could pull out. Having an unmed medicated birth was never on my to-do list. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

I salute the ones who do.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

Yeah, I've always been firm about my belief in an epidural for my body. But with Mila, like I said, I didn't get my epidural for like six hours afterwards. So it basically went natural. There is something so magical about Nois was snoring on the couch, and I was like in so much pain. And with each contraction, you like feel the baby like rippling down your body and just like the like not to get like all hippie, but like the one with nature that you feel when it's just like you and your baby in like a quiet room and you just feel every time she's like moving, trying to get out. I will say that was pretty magical. Now, will I be asking for an epidural whenever I have another baby? You're motherfucking right, I will. But you I have a good, I already did it kind of. And I may like wait a little bit again and kind of feel that and then hopefully get it a little bit sooner. But I understand people that do that. It is a it is a special moment. But it's do you want me to be in the delivery room when you have a third baby? Why? Are you gonna have the microphone? I think I do. I think I do need to have the microphone reporting live. You're like, I'm Emily, and I'm like in between contractions. I'm Ellie. Okay, that was fun. I love that. I like hearing um people's labor stories.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

I do, I do enjoy it. The moral of the story is a man could never a man could never.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

But a woman could and a woman does. Yeah. And we are crazy enough to do it again. Happy Mother's Day. Yeah. Next week's Mother's Day, next week's our Mother's Day episode. So we're gonna read off your guys' best and worst Mother's Days. Oh, I hope there's a worst. That's exactly what I was gonna say. I hope there's a lot of good and uh not a lot of bad. Okay. Well, everyone have a great weekend. If you're running the indie mini, good luck. Okay, see you in a minute.