FROM MAMA TO MAMA: MAY'S ADVICE EPISODE

It's Memorial day weekend and the girls are racing into a fun filled couple of days (just not at the racetrack)! They discuss their upcoming plans including Ellie's wedding anniversary this weekend. Then they dive right in to answering your burning questions of the month! From a clothing identity crisis to an overbearing mother-in-law, this episode will have you tuned in! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello, mommies. I'm Emily. And I'm Ellie. And this is Mama Needs a Minute.

unknown 0:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Hi Emily. Hi, Emily. Happy Friday. Happy Memorial Day. Oh, yeah. No, it's Memorial Day weekend. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but okay, but we're being very specific. Happy Memorial Day weekend. Yeah. Can you imagine us at the race though? No. It wouldn't be our thing. No. We'd be uncomfortable. I'd be hot. I'd be hot. I'd have a beer like to match the vibes, but I'd be like, get me out of here. I think I would only go for the vibe. For just like the. Actually, Julian has been really into race cars lately and asked me when we could go to a race car race. So I think that would be the only reason I would go is if I was like dragged by my seven, six-year-old. I think that you can go to like the trials or whatever. That'd be fun for him. Yeah, that would probably be more the speed. Than like the bit. How funny. I didn't even mean to do that. But like uh the the right scene for a six-year-old. Yeah, you're right. But the race is a big deal for us Indiana people, especially in the Indianapolis area. It's getting real. Yeah. I just white and black checkered flags. Everywhere. Yeah, I do like that. I like the I like the vibe of like everybody getting, yeah, getting together for one. But this is also my anniversary weekend, my wedding anniversary. Oh, what number? And I would never spin that at a racetrack. No, never. Oh, uh, let's see. Uh-oh. Well, Noe and I have been together for like 15 years. Yeah, literally, since like Florence Nightingale roamed the earth. So um he potty trained me. I'm just kidding. So it's hard to it's hard to remember like the wedding anniversary because I'm always just like thinking of the actual like we've just been together for so long. So when people ask us how long we've been together, I'm not like quick to to like count up our wedding. What anniversary is this? I don't know. We got married in 2019. 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 3, 7. 8. Did I you counted to 27? This is the this is the year of our Lord, 2026. Okay, seven. What's seven? What's year seven? No, we always does the like, you know, one year's like wood, one year's like paper. Oh no, he got you wood. Um, what did he get me that time? I'd be dirty. I know. Oh, okay. He gets me wood every year, but by the way, I while you're looking this up, I saw this um mom at the zoo the other day, and she had a hat on that said, I'm coming to the cottage. And I literally grabbed her arm and I said, The girlies who know no. I don't know. I'm coming to the cottage? Yes, you fucking do. You had rivalry. Oh, yes. Yes, I'm coming to the cottage. She had a hat on that said that? That's hilarious. I was like, I'm loving the hat. She's like, Oh, thank you so much. And I was like, the girls who know no. And she goes, Yeah, yes, you know. And if you don't know, then you're just then you don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's hilarious to put on the hat. Yeah. Um, yeah, like year one is paper. So our first year, Noah got me like a fancy card from like Etsy. So let's skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. Year seven is copper. Maybe you'll get an aura ring. Or a penny. The budget is tight. Yeah, the budget is tight this year. But no, it's our wedding anniversary weekend. So we usually never do any kind of like race festivity or really like Memorial Day festivity either. We never do like a cookout. Do you guys? No, not usually. We're um visiting some family out of town, taking advantage of the long weekend. And and um the kids are officially on summer break. I know. I I do like I really thrive in a routine situation. This is not a shock to anyone. No. But I'm ready for summer. Like I the running out the door and you know, making sure that we're all ready on time. Like, I'm ready to just have and we don't even have to leave early. We leave at nine for school. So nobody starts early or anything, but it's just like to be like, we can, you know, go to the park whenever we want, kind of thing. I'm ready for that. Yeah, just to wake up and have no, like an open book of yes, you can do whatever you want today. Yeah, yeah. Now I will say by the end of summer, I'll be like, I'm ready for a routine again. And they will be two probably, but I'm I'm excited for summer. That's why it's just enough. Yeah. Just a couple months. But yeah, I get you two. Ours starts at nine, too, but just like the fact that I don't put Julian in preschool in the summer either for that reason. Yeah. I'm good with just like chilling. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking of buying a um membership, like a season pass to our local water park that's in our town. Because right now, when we like last year and the year before, when we go, I have littles. So we're not going to the water park for eight hours. So we're paying like $20, $30 for the whole family to go in for like three hours and then they're done. But if you get like a water park pass, it's like $120 or something, then you can go whenever you want. And we could go like in the morning before quiet time. We could go when noe gets off work for a couple hours, and I'd feel like I used my money's worth. Yeah. Versus going like three times and paying $130 because you know what I mean? Yeah, no, for sure. Um, yeah, there's a a couple of pools near us that do like summer passes. And um, I don't know, we might get one, but like my kids are still so thrilled with a backyard pool. Uh-huh. So I kind of just want to ride that way for a little bit. And I'm like very intimidated by what it's it's a me problem. Yes. Like I'm I get anxious in water. I'm not a good swimmer. Like, um, I just don't, I think it's just like a me thing. So I I don't think I would feel good if I took them without Marco. Yeah. Um, at their ages. And all the pools are opening up this weekend and like splash pads and everything. Yeah. Yeah. And it'll be cold till July. Do you sign them up for swim classes? Nora's been in swim. Caleb doesn't need to. I I give him a bowl of water, at least seen this. I literally will give him a bowl of water to play with on the table and he'll blow bubbles and he'll stick his entire face in there. Yeah. He, when we go to anywhere with like um like the museum where there's a huge water table area, I have to bring an entire change of clothes. Actually, last time I said fuck it, and I brought his water shoes because he gets soaked. He's just in his bathing suit. He's literally water table. Yes, and his water shoes. Like all the other kids are being normal and like splish splash and they're good to go. No, he's Duncan. Caleb tried to get in the water table twice. Oh, I love him. The last time. Is he a Pisces? Yes. Yes. Me too. Barely. I think he's like right on the cusp. Just enough. That and Aries. For that aura essence. He's way more Pisces than he has Aries. Yeah. But uh Oh, for sure. This mom was like, is that one yours? And I was like, yep. And she was like, I can tell that you've done this before because you seem very calm for how soaked he is. And I was like, Oh, I have an entire change of clothes. Um He does this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have so much planned for summer. We've got so many, we've got a trip to Michigan. We've got a trip to Indiana Beach. Oh bye. Uh-huh. We I'm from that town. I can say that. Um, nobody's gonna stalk me there. I don't live there anymore. So Indiana Beach, that was actually my first job. I was a games Carney. Does that not fit? Yes. All my high school friends were like um hot lifeguards, and I was in a polo. Yeah. Yelling, do you want to come play my game? Stop that up. But anyway, so buddy. So we grew up like going to Indiana Beach and stuff. We're going, we go every year for my dad's birthday. And um, so we're doing that. We just have so much fun stuff playing. I'm like, you need to slow down. Yeah. Like I'm on Christmas too, but like, yeah, let's get through summer. What's one thing over the summer that people do that you're like, I'm not doing that? And why is it the state fair? No, I go every year. I hate it. No, I hate it every year, and we go every year. I hate it. And it's miserable every year. Yeah. Give me a county fair because I was a 4-Her. Yeah. I belong in a county fair. Yeah. And when I go to the state fair, I'm like, this is disgusting. It smells. It's not disgusting because of the animals. The animals are fine. The animals don't bother me. Yeah. It's all of the other, and it's hot as shit. It's the people. It's the people. Yeah. No, literally, it's the people. And it's like 30 bucks to park. And I'm like, okay, fuck this. I just want them to see some cows and horses. So we, for the last two summers, we've said forget the state fair. And we go to the little county fair. Oh, my kids love it. It makes me feel so nostalgic because I grew up like every year in a little small rural town in Indiana. A county fair was like the best week of the summer when you're in middle school and high school. Oh my God. We spent the whole week at the fair. The best week. Yeah. And like last year when we went, this little 4-Her was like we were looking at their sheep or something, and she came over and was so good with the kids and opened the gate and let them pet it. It's so much better, like than the big state fair. And you, it literally costs nothing. You just walk in. Yeah. Did you did you show animals in the 4-H fair? Oh yeah. What? I didn't know that. I showed goats a couple of years. The goats didn't live at my house. I didn't like grow up with a barn. Yeah, I was gonna say. No, I grew up like rural, like out in the country, but we didn't have a barn. So how do you do that when you don't have the goats lived at my best friend's house? And I would go over and like help like muck the stalls. Okay. But I also brought rabbits, and the rabbits did live at my house. We had like a little bunny barn. We called it Emily's bunny barn. My grandpa made a sign for it. It was very cute. My kids do love the state fair, although I hate the state fair, and we go every year. And it's just too, you just I mainly go for the food, but I think about it like all week long. I'm so excited to eat all of that food, that fair food. And then you get there and it's a hundred degrees, and you're like, I don't want another fried corn dog. I don't want anything in my stomach. I'm so hot and miserable. Yeah. But yet we do it every year. No, and we'll probably do it this year. And we always go on like $2 Tuesday when everybody goes. Yeah. So it's just miserable. Yeah. I agree. It's okay. Don't do it. Maybe this year we'll skip it. We go, we go to our county fair too for sure, but no, skip the state fair. Yeah, you're right. I wanted to talk about. Did you um did you watch the Met Gala? This would be a couple weekends ago now, I guess. No. Do you watch the Met Gala ever?

unknown 11:00

No.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

Skip. What else are you doing? No. Well, you didn't ask me what I was doing for my anniversary weekend. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Circling back. What are you doing for your anniversary weekend? Okay, well, I told Noe uh a couple weeks ago, so I'm really hoping this is what we do this weekend. I want to revamp our front yard because yes, that sounds a lot more than it actually is. Because first of all, expensive and we're poor. But um, second of all, that's a lot of work that I don't want to do. And but of course, my husband's like, I would love nothing more than to do that for our anniversary weekend because guys in grass go like peanut butter and jelly. Do they? Oh my God, my husband's obsessed with his grass. Really? Yes. Yes. Like sprinkler, he's moving the sprinkler every five minutes, kind of grass guy. No, we don't give a fuck. He's like putting holes in the yarn.

unknown 11:54

Nah.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yeah, he's a grass guy. Okay. Cool. So, so, anyways, when we moved in, we built we built our house a year and a half ish ago. And it um came with like four little bushes in the front yard and like two, they're like shrubs like on either side of the driveway, but they're they're they look like lee, like um mini trees. They don't look pretty. And then we have like one tree in the front yard, and that's it. And we've kept everything pretty basic. And I'm like, we, I really, really want to revamp the way that this looks. The shrubs have got to go. They're yucky and shrubby. I hate them. I want to replace them. Shrubby. They're shrubby and I hate them. And then the trees on either side of the garage are disgusting and I hate them. So basically, I have a lot of hard, harsh feelings about the front of my house. And I just really like to make it more me. So, what's the plan? Well, I'd really like to plant like some flowers, maybe like some hydrangeas, get rid of the bushes. Wow, wow. So that's what I plan on doing this week. And we have had a busy weekend. I've either worked or we've had an activity or soccer game or baseball or something every weekend this month. So this is our only weekend we have no plans because it's our anniversary weekend, so it kind of got blocked off. Um, so yeah. I'm really, really hoping we get something like that done. So this is when we're gonna find out, okay, because Ellie has big hopes, and then they we never hear back. Hey, I finished the birthday plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. And uh so now we're gonna find out if if Noe is in charge of the project, if there's a change. This is an experiment. Oh no, he's type B too. It sucks. Oh I yeah, two type B people living in a house, it sucks so bad.

unknown 13:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Now he I was like, my hell. He is I honestly love it because I don't know that I could live with a type A person. I would always constantly feel like I'm letting them down.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

You know, well, I would like you know, they're like scrubbing top to bottom, and I'm like, I haven't put my clothes away in two weeks. Yeah. I'm living out of the chair, the laundry chair. Yeah. But he's living out of the laundry basket. So like it evens out. I feel like we are a perfect couple in that way. Yeah. He has his little quirks, like things that he needs to be kind of precision, and I do too. So who plans the trips? Me. Okay. I'm very type A when it comes to a trip. I am itinerary. This is like my one type A vibe. If you've ever been on a trip with me, I'm very like, I plan the itinerary. I make Pinterest boards. But you weren't like that in Florida. No, because when somebody else is planning the trip, I take a set back. And that's so funny because I like an itinerary, but I was like, well, I I don't want to like stress out my type B friends. Like, I'm gonna be chill. Yeah. And then you were like, what's the itinerary? So I was like, um because I like an itinerary for a trip. I do like I don't like to have like decision fatigue on a trip. Even if it says like Wednesday, do nothing. Like, even if it has nothing on it, I need it to say that. Yeah. And then I feel better about it. I also like looking ahead and figuring out where we're gonna go, like out to dinner. So that way, like ahead of time, so that way when you're on vacation and you just want to relax and chill, you don't have to like search through Yelp and argue and debate. Well, what about this? You guys like it? Would that be good? You're like, this is where we're going for dinner. We made a reservation. Yep. I'm like Bob's fish shack and then getting the Maui Maui. I already looked it up last week. Side of rice, please. Have you seen that thing that's like the person's like nodding along? And it's like when the waitress comes over and tells you all the specials for the night and you've known for two weeks, which is ordery. Yeah. No, that's seriously me. Okay, let's see what people want to know. Okay. In our wisdom. Um get ready rumble. Before kids, I had a style, not like runway fashion or anything, but I knew what I liked. I had outfits I felt good in. I experimented a little and I had a vibe. Now I stand in my closet like I'm trying to solve a math equation with no numbers. Every time I try to dress cute, it either feels completely impractical, uncomfortable, or like I'm cosplaying a version of myself that doesn't exist anymore. And then I end up back in the same rotation of oversized T's, athletic wear, and whatever pants don't have a stain on them. How do you find your style again after your life completely changes? Did your style change after you had kids? I'm not a big style person. Yeah. Like I wouldn't say, like, I probably am like whatever young people say now, like cringe. Oh, okay. You're you're like, what do they call it? Like I still wear skinny. They actually call it unk. I'm pretty sure that means like uh like not cool. U N C. You're not cool. Is that what it stands for? I don't know. Let's look it up. I hate it. Unk. Maybe yeah, a slang abbreviation for uncle, commonly used by Gen Z and Gen Alpha to playfully or jokingly refer to a man who is older, outdated, or out of touch with modern trends. A man? Okay, I'm not unk. Yeah, but I think they use it for I think it's kind of gender neutral, maybe too. Oh, yeah. Um, basically it just means like you're not cool. Okay, well, I'm not cool. I know I've never claimed to be. Um, like I still wear stuff that I'm like, well, this like is kind of not trendy anymore, but it's still in great shape. So do you do millennial fashion trends like we had when we were like, do you do big statement necklaces still? Yeah, skinny jeans. Skinny jeans, yes. You do still do skinny jeans, okay? Yeah. Yeah. You've never tried a loose fit? No, I have. No, I really like them too. Oh, really? Yeah, but I'll still wear my skinny jeans. Yeah. Um, so I don't I'm not sure. So you've never had to change your more a question for you. I don't really care what I'm wearing. And I am going through the same thing, honestly. After I had my kids, I actually wasn't even more so like my style changing with kids. It was more so with my weight. When I lost weight, I realized that before I had lost weight, I was just buying things that I felt comfortable in. Like I wasn't like looking in the mirror, like, oh my God, I love this top. I was looking in the mirror like I like how I look in it. And it's yeah, flattering enough that I don't like, that I don't like can't stand what I look like. And then as I like got healthier and felt more confident in my body, then I felt myself being more like, I can wear things that I want to wear. Like I can have a style and I feel confident in my body more so than like I'm just trying things on just to feel okay. Yeah. Um, but I've heard a lot of good things about people, especially moms who have had children and are like, oh my gosh, like I can't wear my crop tops anymore. Like I'm not going out to the club anymore, and my whole closet is like high heels and crop tops and miniskirts. What do I even wear to go to this like play date at the park? The capsule wardrobe ordeal. Have you ever heard of a capsule wardrobe? Like where you it's like minimalistic. Yes, it's very minimalistic. It's very basic pieces, but they're like high quality pieces. And you maybe have like five tops, five bottoms, you know, and like two belts, and you rotate, they all can match. You could literally put a top and a bottom and it would fit together. And I know a lot of moms that do that because then it's easy. Yeah. And it's all your style and it's basic. So then you can elevate it with like things that you like, maybe you're like, I don't know my style yet, but I know I like gold jewelry. Yeah. So okay, so wear plain white tee and jeans and then dress a bunch of gold jewelry because you know that that's your style. Like you can slowly add in your own style as you get more confident, like after having kids. Yeah. That's what I would do in this situation. Sounds like a great solution to her problem. Yeah. We are so wild. Oh my God, it's so smart. We are so smart. Okay. Hi, Mama. That looks like a long one. I feel a little awful even typing this out, but I genuinely don't know how to navigate it anymore. I don't hate my mother-in-law in a dramatic movie villain way, but I do feel this growing resentment toward her that I can't seem to shake, and it's starting to affect my relationship. Oh dear. Oh dear. From the beginning, she's been very involved in everything. Oh boy. This is going poorly. Um, she's been very involved in everything. Not in a supportive, I'm here for you if you need me, way, but more like she has strong opinions about how things should be done, how we spend holidays, how we parent, what we should prioritize financially, even small things like how I organize my home. At first, I tried to be understanding because I know she cares and she's just used to being in control in her own family. But over time it started to feel like I'm constantly being quietly corrected or subtly compared to her expectations. My partner doesn't always see it that same way or thinks I'm being too sensitive, which makes me question myself even more. Now I find myself dreading visits or even phone calls, and afterwards I feel tense and irritated for hours. I hate that I feel this way because I know it puts my partner in the middle. I don't want to create drama in the family dynamic, but I also feel like I'm slowly losing my peace, trying to keep everyone else comfortable. So I guess my question is, how do I deal with a mother in law you don't necessarily hate, but who constantly drains your energy and makes you feel like you're never doing things right? Do you set harder boundaries even if it causes tension, or just try to let it go and accept this is part of your family you married into? Ellie and I would handle this two different ways. What would you do? I would talk to her. Yeah. Hundred percent. I would be like, I I I would set serious boundaries. I would have my husband talk to her. I mean, and then be like, what? I never said that. Um, that's actually all from his mouth. So I would literally say, like, um, back the fuck up. I'm scared. If it if I had to, but I think I would just be like, I think that you can set boundaries and you can stand up for yourself in a very respectful way. Yeah. Um, and like if she's like critiquing something about your house, you can say, Well, I don't appreciate you saying that. Um, and I this is how I've decided to do it. Yeah. Thank you. That's it. That's it. Like, and it only has to make sense to me. It only has to make sense to me. Um, yeah, I think definitely she's a grown-up. She can take it, she's dishing it. And I think that this woman um does this to everybody. Yes. I was just about to say, I don't not, I'm not saying she's intentionally doing it or not intentionally doing it, but when I was a like a mom, I was a mom first. I was like the first in my friend group to be mom. And I catch my caught myself a lot when my friends started to have kids, kind of overstepping with like, oh no, no, you have to do it this way. Oh no, you have to go this way, you have to do this, and don't forget to do this. And remember when this happened, then you've got to do it this way. And then I caught myself one day being like, oh my gosh, I am like so overstepping. She's gonna figure out her own way of doing things. Like she doesn't need me to tell her how to do it. If she wants that advice, she'll ask me. I need to back the fuck up. So I'm not saying she's doing that unintentionally, but maybe that's just her personality, is a big overstepper. And you've got to, she doesn't even realize until you say, you know, you're coming on a little tough here. Yeah. And her husband probably doesn't care because he was raised that way. Yeah. With her. And he's probably just like, yeah, that's just mom. Yeah. She needs such, she needs you to be like, you need to take a couple steps back, babe. I'm gonna go ahead and say there, she doesn't have a daughter. He's either an child or it's a family of all boys. She is the queen of this household. Correct. And this is how she's just told people how to do things and they've done it. Yeah. Her sons and her husband. Yep. Yep. 100%. Um, I'll please message us and tell me if I'm right, because I love being right and I think I'm right. Um, I think that you just need to start setting small, direct boundaries and and see how that goes. If it starts to get uncomfortable, then you're like, hey, because at the end of the day, you do love this woman. Yeah. And she loves you. No hard feelings. Yes. It's not like we she's this big villain or anything, but and so I think that if these little boundaries make it like uncomfortable, then you can be like, hey, like, let's talk about this. Like I had to start setting boundaries. I am the head, like one of the heads of this household too. Yeah. And um, we love you, we respect you, you're important to us, but this is my house. You gotta let go, mama. Yeah, you gotta go. Yeah, you gotta let go. And that's probably very hard to do as a mother of a six-year-old and a three-year-old, I can't imagine, but yeah, it's hard to let go. You gotta let go, Nana. I know I need to make some changes in my life, like a new job for starters, but I keep waiting for the right time or for things to feel easier, and that's obviously never happening. Right. How do you start making changes when nothing else ever feels like the perfect moment? Oh, if you're not happy at your job, you have to find a new job. Yeah, you only live once, babe. You only live once. You spend too much time at work to be miserable at work. I agree. And if this job's not working for you, you shouldn't work for it. Yeah. Period. I'm a huge, like, I'm never the girl at work who's like, oh my god, why are you leaving? Because they're leaving because they need to leave for whatever reason. Yeah, like it was fun working with you, but like, you know, if you need to go, then go. You gotta put you first. Yeah. Yep. So time to go. What other changes does she need to make? She just said, like a new job for starters. She just needs to make some major changes in her life. I um am flighty. So I have no problem changing things up because I get ADHD really bad. So we a couple years ago sold our house, sold everything we owned. And me, my husband, and my son went and travel nursed for like a year and a half. And that was some of the best memories of our lives. We will always cherish that. And then you come back and you're like, that was kind of wild, but we did it. And because you only live once. Why are we gonna sit around and be like, I wish we could travel to this place or that place? Yeah. Let's do it. What's stopping us? Yeah, just do it. Sell your house. No, I'm just kidding. Sell your sell everything you own. Have you seen that guy? I swear we've talked about him on the podcast before. The guy that um was working at like an auto body shop or something, or like an auto zone or something, and was like, I my dream is like to sail the world. And so he sold all of his belongings. He like cashed out his 401k, bought a sailboat, and sailed to Hawaii from like Seattle or something, and he like got really famous, just him and his cat. He's just like made a video. He was like, I know that cat was pissed. Yeah. That cat was like, I didn't sign up for this shit. Like, get me off this boat. And then he got to Hawaii and he was like met with a big fan base that he didn't expect because he's like not like a famous, fame-seeking person. He literally was just like documenting his life. But he was like, It's Oliver.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

I think his name's Oliver and the cat or something like that. And he was just like, I'm so unhappy.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

And why not? And he just did it. And now he's so happy on a sailmoat. It sounds like a really bad long-term plan, but I love this for him. Um, like, what are we doing in five years? You're like, change your job. I'm like, sell all of your belongings and leave this place behind. Don't do that. Get a tattoo while you're at it. Oliver, what's going on, my man? I actually haven't seen an update on him in a while, but yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Oliver's working at AutoZone in Hawaii now, and he's like, I fucked up, man. He's like, now I have to pay $10 for a gallon of milk, and I'm stuck on Hawaii. That's so true. But we wish you all the best, Oliver. And this girly pop, it's never gonna be the perfect moment. That's what I was trying to get at. Yeah. It's never gonna be, you're never gonna be in a perfect time financially, emotionally, to make a change. Any kind of change. Have a kid, to get married. But like, if that's what you want to do, then just do it, figure it out later. Literally. We only got like 80 years-ish, depending on your bloodline. That's one. I love my life, but I also miss who I was before everything got so serious and responsibility heavy. Is it normal to grieve a past version of yourself even if you chose this life? Do you ever I do this sometimes, not a bad way, like an I wish that was my life kind of way, but do you ever like imagine yourself in different types of lives? Like in this life, I lived in New York City and I became like a journalist. And no. No, in this life, I'm like a struggling actor in California. And you never like picture like alternate pathways that you could have taken. I mean, I've had like nightmares that I stayed in my hometown. Like, I had thought about that. Like, wow, what if I like never moved? Yeah. Um, but no, not really. No. No. I just think that every well, I was gonna say, I just think that everybody does that. So I feel her pain. I feel like everybody kind of grieves a different life that they could have lived. Like, you know, it's like the game of life. What if I if I go down one road, I'm going to college, or I could go down this road and do this route. You're always gonna wonder what that path would have taken you to. Yeah, it's just different. That's so yeah, that's so normal. Yeah, it's a different season of life. Yeah. And it's normal to be like, oh, that was a fun season. But you must find joy in the season you're in.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah, that's that's the one, that's the path you went down.

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Yeah. Yeah. You can't live in the same spot forever. Uh-huh. Agreed. I think there's a name for it. Is it lumerance? Or is that just with when you have an infatu? I think it's called lumerance, and it's where you have an infatuation with like um, maybe it's just with someone and not with something, but you like daydream about it all the time.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

You gotta get out of that.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Yeah, you gotta get out of that. Actually, the other day, I was about to start my period and I was crying to my husband.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

I was like, Did you, do you regret marrying me? He was like, Oh boy. He's like literally making dinner. He's like, The fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 31:02

And I'm like, you could have had a different life. He's like, What other life would I have had? I'm like, you could have been like a starving restaurant worker in New York City and you work nights and you meet up with people after work and you have a cigarette and it sounds awful. And then you go to your one bedroom in Brooklyn and it's just fun for you. And I'm like crying, and he's like, Why the fuck would I want to do that? I was like, I don't know, I'm just making sure there's no alternate reality you want to be in. What if he would have been like, actually, yeah? Oh, okay, great. Then now we have to talk about some things. Yeah, no, but I was just like I was thinking that same thing. Like, I hope he doesn't like grieve a different life, and he was like, You're fucking stupid. And I was like, Okay, good, talk. Yeah. But people do that. I do that a lot. That's why I'm bringing it up to him. Yeah. Get out of it though. Yeah. Snap out of it. Find joy in today. Yeah. Maybe you just need to switch up a little bit of your life currently, you know, like get a new hobby. Or an old hobby. Circle back. Get a hat, get a cat. Yeah. Or fish. Not don't get a cat. What? I like cats. I don't. If you need a cat, go get Oliver's because that cat hates Oliver.

SPEAKER_00 32:17

Poor Oliver.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

He can't even touch land. He's just surrounded by the worst thing in his whole life, water. Oliver's cat is like, I hate him. Yeah. For sure. Imagine just being a cat. And your like owner goes to AutoZone every day for eight hours. And you just get to sleep. And you just sleep. And then one day you're like, where's my fucking couch? And you're in the ocean. And you see Oliver like hauling it out to some guy he sold on Facebook Marketplace. And you're like, ma'am, what the fuck? And he's like, guess what? We're going on a boat. And you're like, this is my hell. Yeah, literally. Like, what did the cat eat on the boat? How long were they on the boat? Cat food. For how long? Seattle to Hawaii. At least a month, probably, right? I don't know. At least. But now there's, I think he has plan was like to sail somewhere else. So like the cat's life is now on water.

unknown 33:11

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

The cat is now. Have you ever seen the old movie? You probably saw it when you were old. Water World. No. My guy. Yeah. Anyways, we had it on VHS. So that's kind of how old it was. I think it we had it on VHS, anyways. It was um, and there's a famous actor in it, the one who played an Armageddon who like got blown up. What's his name? Ben Affleck. No. He got blown up. He was the dad and he like saved everybody. Oh, Bruce Willis? Yes, Bruce Willis. Oh. Oh. Well, he died, didn't he? No, he's like gonna die. Yeah. Oh, that's sad. So sad. He has really bad dementia. Yeah. Donating his brain to sign it. Oh, wow. He was the one that was married to Jimmy Moore. Yeah. Yes. Oh my god. They still have a really close relationship. And I saw these pictures of his kids and her, and they're hugging him, and I'm like, ah. Oh no, I was gonna make a joke about his movie. Well, no, you have to know the movie now. Okay. Waterworld is an old, old movie. You should actually get it. It's about, it's about like some kind of apocalypse or something happened, and the whole world is underwater. Like there is no land. And so he's just like living like literally ocean. He made this like device to like turn ocean water into regular water to like survive, stuff like that. But, anyways, um, I was just gonna make a joke that the cat feels like he's in under the water world now.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

He feels like he's in his own little apocalypse.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

If that was my life, I'd be like, okay, like the cat's gonna jump. No, I'd be like, time to go. Like, I wouldn't be like, how could I survive another day here? You I don't need to. There must be something more after. Yeah, yeah. Just float. I'll find the bottom of the ocean. We've gotten really off track. Let's just wrap it up. Yeah. Anyways. So next week is a mystery. Um, because it's a fifth Friday in May. I didn't plan for. So it's we're gonna call it the what the fuck fifth Friday. Yeah. Okay. Plan for that episode. Have a great Memorial Day weekend. I hope it's full of splash pads, parks, hot dogs, make beans. Makes me want a hot dog real bad. Yep. Maybe some firecrackers, family. Cheers. Love you. See you in a minute.