HOW TO HAVE A HOT MOM SUMMER

The girlies are back and with lot's to discuss! This week, the girls catch up on all things pop culture before diving into their thoughts on how to have a hot mom summer! They also read listener submissions on tips and tricks to feel confident all season long!

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello, hot mamas. I'm Emily and I'm Ellie. And this is Mama Needs Minute. Hi, hot mamas. Happy Friday. Happy Friday.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

And it's summer. And it's June. It's June. I like June. Yeah. June's a lot. It's Father's Day. It's my son's birthday. And it's my husband's birthday. So it's like bus, club, another club, another club. Ellie, what have you been up to lately? Actually, Noah and I have been gamers lately. Yeah, I've been a gamer. As you can see, the PlayStation is here. I had no, I thought it was a fan. It does look like a fan. I was like, what a chic fan that is. No, I've been doing it. We've never gaming. What have you been gaming? What are you getting? So we've been playing this game. It's called It Takes Two. It is so fun. We actually started playing this like maybe when Julian was like a baby. Honestly, we've been playing this for like years, but we don't get a lot of time to be gamers. I mean, we're parents. Yeah. And we go through phases where we like want to do it. You know, it's like a puzzle. You go through phases where you're like, I'm into puzzles. And then you go through phases where you're like, that puzzle's gonna sit in the closet for a while. Yeah. Well, we're in our gamer phase. And this game, it is a couple's game, obviously, because we're both playing it, but it's called It Takes Two. The storyline of the game is that these parents are getting a divorce and they're fighting a lot, and their daughter, the daughter like falls asleep. And uh, when she falls asleep, the parents turn into her dolls, the two little dolls. And now they're like, honey, I shrimp the kids. They're in their house, but they're tiny. And they go through the house because they're trying to get back to their daughter to be like, you need to wake up and help us. We're dolls, and we hate each other, and we're getting a divorce, so whatever. And they have to work together to get through the house. And the game is all working together. So, like Noah's character will have, for example, right now, he has one side of a magnet, and I have the other side. And there's a lot of things that happen during the part that we're on where he has to use his side of the magnet and I have to use mine. One time he had like a bow and arrow and I had like a hammer or something, and there were some things that he had to use to help me, and then I had to use to help him. The point is that you're working together and it's so hard because you're working together. Like we have to like be doing the same things at the same time, or like he dodges something and then I dodge something, or jump, jump. It's not like you can't just do your own thing. That's the purpose of the game. You're working together to get back to your daughter. And it's fun and it's great animation because you're like, one point we're in a snow globe. At one point, we're in their barn. We were in a cuckoo clock for like a chapter of it. And yeah, it's so fun. And we are obsessed with it and we play it like every night now. That's so cute. Yeah. It's a fun game. If you like games at all, and if you have like it's probably on Xbox, I don't know, but if you have a PlayStation, it's a fun game. It actually won the year it came out, it won like best video game of the year. I've never played a video game. Ever? Except for Wii. Yeah. Everybody's played it a Wii. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You never played like Grand Theft Auto? No. Or like anything? No, I didn't even have the controller? No. The joystick? No, in the car. Well, a DS, like a Nintendo DS? Is that what it was? The little block. Handheld one. Yeah. No. I don't know. No interests. I had a GameCube growing up, and so I played Animal Crossing on the GameCube was like my number one. I don't even know what that is. Animal Crossing? I think Oregon Trail and like Sims. Yes. That stuff. Yes. But no, we just never had one. I had computer games like Roller Coaster Typhoon and like a Barbie one, stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of like where the first video game started. I loved being on the computer. Me playing a video game. That's brought back a lot of nostalgia. Yeah. And I had like clue and lies on the computer. Yes. That was so fun. Um, best friend growing up, she had a lot of fun in computer games, and she had one where we were on the Titanic and we had to get off, which was really kind of scary for a childhood game. Why is the obsession with Titanic? I'm obsessed too. I mean, I and I just told you about my dream. I had a dream that we were I this is actually a dream I've had a lot of that we're on the Titanic. Either on the Titanic or a ship like the Titanic and it's sinking. It must be your like, you know, people say you're stressed, you like picture yourself naked in a room. Yeah, you picture yourself on the Titanic. I guess sinking. Yeah. But that was a really wild game. Yeah, like let's make it off the Titanic before you die. Honestly, like based on a true story. God. Also, like the Titanic has been so romanticized, but at its core, it's just like a whole lot of people dying in a really horrible way. Yes. Why are we obsessed with it? Because one movie was made about a love story on it, and it took off. I feel like people were obsessed before then. Really? I remember my mom had a coffee table book about the Titanic growing up, and I would just look at it. I'm like, this is so cool. I mean, that's kind of like having a coffee table book about 9-11. Like, that is I have said this and I didn't want to say it on here because I didn't know if it was like No, that is the same. I mean, it would be like a bunch of people died. Yeah. Or like if we had a computer game about 9-11, that's insane. Yeah. Like, or a romantic movie about 9-11. Yes. That's so tacky. Yes. Really, Titanic, the movie is tacky. But we're obsessed. Obsessed. And if you didn't go through a Titanic obsession as a child, then I don't know where you were at because everybody does. Yeah, honestly, like out of my cold dead hand. I saw this girl one time online said, like every kid goes through a weird obsession. And for most people, it is the like the Titanic or it's like the Holocaust. Like kids latch onto one traumatic event and it becomes like their entire personality for like a whole summer. And I would agree with that. Yeah. Yeah. Because of the Titanic mainly, but I also went through a time in my life where I was obsessed with like civil war period. Yeah. And I um for a while in like fifth to sixth grade, if you asked me what I was gonna do when I grew up, I was gonna go be a tour guide at Gettysburg. I was your dad, not princess, not ballerina. Isn't that so weird? It's so specific. It is, but pe but kids do that. I want to know the science behind that. Mine for a long time, I was obsessed with the Great Depression. Oh, yeah. I was like obsessed with hearing stories about my great grandma and what she had like had to do. And there's a movie called Cinderella Man, and it's about a guy, a dad in the Great Depression who becomes like a boxer to make money for his family because there was no jobs. So he was like fighting. And I watched that movie like nightly at like 12, 10, probably. I was obsessed with the Great Depression. I wonder how much of this circles back to American Girl. Yes, that's true. I mean, really, yeah. Like that's when a lot of all had some shit going on. Yeah. Josephine and then yeah, Elizabeth. Have you seen those things? A lot of this ends up on my algorithm because I've been looking into going to American Girl Place this summer. So it'll be like, if you had this doll growing up, this is now your um antidepressant. Oh my god, that's hilarious. What's wrong with your turn? I'm so curious. I forget who well, but I had kit. I had a lot of them. But I had kit and brag. Bragg a little more. Do you want to come over and a lot of them? We were actually talking about American Girlers at work the other day. I had Felicity and Samantha? Yeah, I didn't have Samantha. I had Felicity, Addy, and Kit. And I still have Wow, you're rich. No, I wasn't actually. But yeah, we still have them in their boxes. Wow. Will you pass them on to Nora? I absolutely will, but I told her she asked to read the books first. We have to read the books together. And then watch the movie. Yeah, there were movies. Uh huh. So we started reading the kit books. And because I need her to understand that this is more than a doll. Like this is like learning about a different time in history. Yeah, almost like Magic Treehouse was. Yeah. Like we have dolls. This isn't just a doll. It's like because otherwise I'm gonna get her all her furniture out and she's gonna be like, the fuck is this bed? Like, you know, she needs to understand. Why it came with what it came with. Yeah. So now she's just mad because she knows that these dolls are in the exist. Yeah. Did you ever have the doll that you could like make look like you? A twin doll, yeah. And my mom had us had take professional photos with our twin dolls, and they were so creepy. That is the creepiest thing I've ever heard of in my life. So 90s. Like, we matched the dolls and we took and they like we brought them out one year like Christmas and we were crying laughing because we're like, we really thought we were doing something. Yeah. Like we're like, this is a great idea. This is going to into the American Girl magazine for sure. Yeah. No. I wonder what that photographer was saying. I mean, we're talking, we went to like a Sears. Yeah. Um with your matching creepy dolls. Yeah. Yeah. And we really, my stomach's making noise. We really sat down and we were like, okay, we're gonna pose with these dolls. You know, that's probably not the worst thing they've seen. They've probably seen some fucked up shit. But I never got to have an American girl doll because it was too much money and we didn't have a lot of money. But I would I subscribe to like the free American Girl Doll magazine. And so every month I would get this American, it's so sad talking about it now. I would get this American Girl Doll magazine and I would just fantasize like which one I wanted. And it is so sad to think about. I never got one of my own. It's Christmas shoes. And then you know that song. No, yes, you do. Christmas shoes. Yes, the little boy who goes and buys shoes for his mom who's about to croak. Stop. I don't even want to show you. He's counting pennies. You have heard this song. No, but hurry, sir. No.

unknown 9:38

What?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Because his mom's about to die and he buys her shoes. Yeah, it's kind of dumb. Honestly, like you have pennies. Babe, we gotta focus on groceries. Yeah. Mommy can't take those shoes to heaven. We're not worried about mommy's shoes. Yeah. But he's like, I gotta buy these shoes. It's the mommy. It's the most insane Christmas song. How does that relate to me not getting an American girl doll? Because I should have wouldn't have worried about food on my table. He's just giving the same sad vibes. Yes. It was sad. And so I had this neighbor. She lived across the street from us. And she was a I'm I hate to speak ill on like a nine-year-old, but she was a bitch. Okay. A raging bitch. But I will. But I will. But anyways, she had an entire collection of American Girl Dolls. And so I was obsessed. I had to do what I had to do. I would go play with her. And we would play American Girl Dolls. Okay. Okay. Um, but here's the thing because she was a bitch. She got to pick what doll. I wanted to play with like, you know, one of the cool ones that were like modern or like Josephine, who was like cool, you know, or like Samantha. I literally would want to play with anybody else. And she'd give me like Elizabeth or someone in like the Victorian era. And she'd be dressing her doll with like a skateboard. And she'd be like, yours can only have, you know, a corset. And you can only do this. And she would like dictate how I played with it.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

And I was like, just happy to be there, honestly, because I really just wanted to play with an American girl doll. Wait, I feel bad that I said I had some. What? I don't know. It was a flex. I didn't realize I was flexing. It's honestly probably not that much of a flex because they're they weren't probably super expensive. Just like my parents were probably like, you're not getting that. Like that's a hundred dollars for a doll. Yeah. Is ridiculous. Very, very reasonable thinking. So they were probably just like, no. So this is something I want to discuss. Okay. That became a hot topic in the book club group chat. Shout out to my book club girlies. That this morning, because I'm a I'm at my core a morning person. So I was like, got up this morning, did my workout, showered, and then I was like, okay, we gotta get some laundry going. I do everything in the morning, but then I do take a nap. That's crazy. When other people are like, I'm gonna be productive during nap time, I'm also probably gonna fall asleep on the couch. Got it. So anyway, so I took, I looked at Nora's bed and I thought, I should strip that. And I'm like, no, I'm not going to. And then I'm like, how often have do I actually like strip this bed? Yeah. So I want to know, Ellie. Why are you asking me? I'm not gonna be the popular answer, I'm sure. I'm type B. Okay, I'm type, I'm type A, but this is my this is one of my things that I let slide. So why don't we answer on three? Wait, wait, wait. What are we saying? How often we change the kids' beds or ours? This is not ours. Okay, because mine's freak more frequent. Yes, mine is every other week. Okay. Remember on Mondays, every other week. Yes. I'm not a monster. I'm changing my sheets. There's different activities that are occurring in my sheets. Okay. There's no bodily fluids, there's not a bloody nose, there's no peed, there's not puke. Okay. Okay. That was the preface. So we can either say weekly, monthly, quarterly, or yearly. Okay, I'm ready. All right. On three. One, two, three, four, two. Bimonthly. Okay. Wow. What's quarterly? Like, is it bi-monthly? Because it's I'm probably every other month. No, I think bi-monthly means like. Every other month. Oh, I said that meant twice a month. Okay, wait. Oh, we fucked up. No, you're right. You're right. Basically, we're not changing these kids' sheets. No. Mine's about about every other month. I actually just washed both of them, and I it was because I was like, wait, when did I do this? Yes, it's been a couple months. Now listen, in my defense, they do get a bath every night, especially in the summer, without fail. So they're clean going into bed, and they're not, they're sweaty when they're playing, but they're not sweaty. Sweaty when they go to bed. Like me and Marco are sweaty at night. Like those sheets need washed. And we get like oils on our face and makeup. And we've got stinky stuff. Yes. We're grown. Yeah. But I'm like, there's not they're they don't eat in their bed. Right. So anyway, I was like, yeah, I agree. I probably do it every two-ish months. I don't even know if I do it that often. And that's only because I'm like thinking of it, like I'm in there and I'm like, huh, it's been quite a while since I've done this. Yeah. And also I gotta take all those levies out of that bed. Yeah, that's a lot. Caleb's, I do change a little bit more because he's still in a crib, so it's easy. It's like an easy swap, and I'm like, oh, I'll change it, you know. And he's still in like a nighttime diaper. So like, yeah, I'll change that. Yeah. But like, Nora? Yeah, it goes a minute. Yeah. I would agree with that. So it became an interesting topic. So what was the majority? Was the majority like, yeah, we agree with you, or was the majority like, you're disgusting pig, Emily? Well, I was like, guys, how often are we changing our kids' sheets? Not ours, our kids. And I said, and if you say weekly, you're kicked out of book.

unknown 14:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

You are no longer relatable. Yeah. And I don't know. It was weird. It was, it was interesting answers because some people were like, like, never, because my kid's never in their bed. And I was like, that's fair. Like if you have a kid who's like about croquis. Yeah. But I was like, well, I'm going to be brave here and put myself out there. I'm going to say about quarterly. And then it was like crickets. Oh my God, don't you hate when you say an opinion you think is gonna like hit girlies? The silence is loud. Yeah. Somebody say something. No, I agree with you. And they were like, no, I'm gonna say like monthly, probably. I don't even I would not say that. No. I don't even do that. Now I agree with you. When when my kids were babies, the crib sheet got changed more. Yeah. Because they're spit up. Yeah. And pee and whatever. Yeah. Slobber. Yeah. It gets slobbery. Yes. They're not slobbering now. No. And we do a bath every night too. Yeah. Typically. Most sometimes we'll, you know, it's 10 o'clock. Let's go to bed. Yeah. But for the most part, they're getting a bath every single night. And so yeah, they're clean. It was an interesting conversation. And actually, one girl said, You're disgusting. No. No. It was it was non-judgmental. It was like, haha, sorry, I got busy. And I'm like, no, you need to respond immediately when I'm putting out a vulnerable opinion here. But one girl said that she irons her sheets. Even her kids? No, only hers. Why? Because her mom did it. But doesn't the mattress kind of stretch out the wrinkles? I don't. I mean, because it's a mattress. Cold day in hell if I'm ironing my sheets. Yeah. I was like, that's some fancy shit right there. Do you ever hear someone say something like that and you're like, wait, are we supposed to do that? Like someone's like casually like, oh, and then when I was like ironing my my nighttime gowns, and I'm like, wait, wait, what? We do that? I have the perfect example of this. One time at work, someone was like, um, talking about how they were washing their walls. Yeah. And you're like, wait, we do that? And someone was like, oh, we just did that in my mom's. And I was like, Pardon? Yeah. Why? Yeah. What are y'all doing on your walls? Like, why would we wash the walls? Yeah. I haven't ever washed my walls. Yeah, this is your stuff. Like, like I want to go around and like survey people on these things. Like, how often are you scrubbing your tub? Yeah. I don't want to say. I'm not putting myself out there. I just thought this is such an interesting conversation. Yeah, and I'm so curious to think of more things that people do or don't do that. I might not be doing. Like some people get a clean towel every shower. No.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

You're clean.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

You're clean when you come out of the shower. I do get a clean washcloth every shower. Oh, well, I could see that. Yeah, but not a clean towel. I don't use a washcloth. I use an African net body, um, whatever it's called, sponge. Yeah, I was using loofahs. What is that? I'm about to tell you. I was using loofahs, and then I saw something that loofahs can harbor a lot of bacteria, and and most people aren't changing them out as frequently as they're supposed to. And a lot of people swear by this African net body, I think it's African net body sponge or towel. And it's a long, um, I'll show you. It's a long towel and it has a bunch of holes in it, and it's kind of exfoliating too. And you use it to like wash your body. And because there's so many holes, it's like it doesn't harbor bacteria. It dries out easily. Okay. I mean, have you seen this? Did you see about the girl who was in a coma for seven years and dreamt a whole other life? Oh. Okay. This, there was a girl on the news a couple weeks ago. I just haven't had the chance to tell you. So it's kind of old news, but if you haven't heard, now you're here. I guess this happens. This is a phenomenon that can happen when you're in a medically induced coma. This girl was put into a medically induced coma for like seven. No, she I think she was only in the coma for a couple weeks. And while she was in that coma, she lived an entire like seven years. She had a family, she had children. And when I guess when you're in this coma, like when you're in a medically induced coma, it's real. Like it's it feels like life. And so in her coma for the last seven years, she thought when it was only like a couple weeks, she had grown this whole entire family and future. And she had a why, she had a husband and she had kids. And then they woke her up from the coma. And she genuinely had to now has to now grieve this life that she lived for the last what she thought was seven years. What? Yes. I'm looking up the article so I can make sure my facts are straight. She is a 19-year-old from France. She was placed in a medically induced coma for three weeks. During those weeks in June, her brain built her an entire life. She got pregnant, went into labor, and felt every second of it. She gave birth, named them, and experienced love. She lost one of her babies during her coma and grieved it for years, and watched the other two grow up across what felt like seven full years: walks, meals, bedtime stories, two little girls with completely distinct personalities that she knew and loved with everything she had. When she woke up, she even told her parents that they were grandparents, but was in shock when she found that it had all been a dream and she was a coma. In a coma. What? Mm-hmm. That's wild. Doctors had to explain to her that none of it had happened, no pregnancy, no labor, no daughters. Only three weeks had passed, not seven years, and every memory she had of motherhood had been constructed entirely in her own head while she was unconscious in a hospital bed. Almost a year later, she's still processing an experience that lacks a clear resolution. She feels very disconnected from others and misses her daughters every day. I lived as a mother, she said, even if it was just a dream. I will always be their mother, she said, even if it was only my reality for a little while. Why was she in a coma? It doesn't say. That's interesting. Uh but is that not the most heartbreaking story? I mean, my child is six. So that is like me waking up right now. Like somebody waking me up and saying, and me being like, Where's Julian? Where's my husband? Where's my daughter? And them saying, Oh no, no, that was all this was all made up. That was fake. You dreamt a whole life. Was it? Or maybe her soul went to another world. Realm. Oh my God. Are you turning into a conspiracy theorist? I'm into it. I'm into it. Maybe she did. Maybe she went to a different reality where in that reality she's got kids. She just, while she was in that coma, her body flipped over to that realm. Or maybe over that timeline. Saw the future. Yeah, maybe someday she's only 19. Yeah. And oh my God, can you imagine if she got birth gave birth to triplets and then one of them passed away and she named them the same name and they looked exactly like her coma? I'm curious to know what will happen in the future, but she'd have to meet the same partner. I guess this is a real phenomenon that people experience when they're in medically induced comas. They make up entire stories and situations. And then they wake up and it seemed so real. I've never heard of this, but that's so sad. I mean, I can only imagine because you've had a dream before where you woke up and you're like, oh my God, I'm like, like my husband just cheated on me. Now I'm pissed at him for the rest of the day. That was so real. Yeah. I can't imagine dreaming seven years in a vivid memory and especially being a mother, that's what got me. Because you know. Yeah, that's sad. That's I mean, if she would have dreamt that she was like, you know, CEO of a Fortune 500 company, it's like, okay, whatever. Go, you can go do that. But to dream of the pains of motherhood and just the love of motherhood, to have it ripped from you. Yeah, so isn't that a wild story? Yeah, that is wild. What would you want to dream about? Jacob Alordi gets down on my knee, asks me to be his lover. And then we go live on the beach. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm gonna dream something fake, it better be like good, like real good. I mean, but this is very interesting. It's like, I wonder what other people have dreamed. Maybe horrible things. Can you imagine if you? You yeah, are in a coma and you have like a nightmare reality, like you're in hell. Or you and you just live seven years in hell and you're just like burning alive, and then you wake up and they're like, No, that was just a dream. No, I was thinking more of like alive in your dream, but you're like like living a a real life hell. Like you're in an abusive relationship or something, you know, or like you have a stalker, like there's yeah. Oh my gosh. Or you're like in the Great Depression and you have to fight for food, and yeah, you're like eating rat, and then you wake up and they're like, What honey. Yeah. Calm down. Yeah. You live in the Hamptons, babe. Wow. No, that's crazy. Yeah. Anyways, the other pop culture news piece I wanted to tell you about is that there is a woman currently. I know we've talked about Oliver and the his cat and the rowing, his sailboat. Poor giddy. Yes, I know. Very, very sad. But, anyways, a new, a new oceanic adventure. There is a woman, I think her name is Kelsey, and she's going to, she's attempting to be the first female ever to row from California to Hawaii, and she's rowing. Do you know what a rowboat looks like? She's taking a rowboat or like a competition style rowboat. Well, she's in an ocean-made rowboat. So I'll show you what it looks like. Why? And oh my god. And then the last, and she's documenting it on TikTok, of course. And so the last video was like, Well, there's some rough seas coming, so I have to wear this helmet and lock everything down, but don't worry, this boat is made to capsize. It'll write, it'll like self-write itself. Why do people do these things? Dude, I'm like, I'm so glad I thought of this never in my life. I'm so glad I never woke up one day and was like, I want to row in the ocean. Sit down, Kelsey. I like the ocean. Like, unlike you, I'm into swimming and I'm a fish. I'm a Pisces. I love it. Do I want to row by myself in the middle of the ocean? She's talking about, oh, I just made it off the um continental drift. Do you know what that is?

unknown 24:00

Huh?

SPEAKER_01 24:01

It's where I hate this planet. How is she charging her phone for TikTok? Solar. She's a send. So then she talked about like, oh, it's it was cloudy today, so I didn't like get as much charge. What's she eating? People are monitoring her. She hasn't said she hasn't shown what she's eating yet, but she's got food somewhere. But um the I guess the con I think it was called the continental drift. And it's like where the where you know you have like a shelf, like how a beach would be where there's so many feet below. And then once you get far enough off of a continent, like off of the mainland, it just drops like to, I don't know, hundreds of feet down in the ocean. And she's like, I made it past the continental drift. I'm picturing like Moana when she has to go over, you know, the second wave that almost kills her boat. This is terrifying. So she's rowing. It's insane. And also her hands are covered in blisters because she's rowing her boat all day. What does she do when she gets her period? I don't know. Is she lo is she have a trash bag, probably and a tampon. A trash bag. Maybe she's using a diva cup and or a flex disc and she can just kind of rinse it out in the ocean. What is she drinking? Water. She has a thingy that I guess makes water. Probably converts her salt water into water. How long is this set to rotate? Over a month. Rowing every day. For like 39 days, they said. Oh my god. This is worse than Oliver and his cat, I swear. No, it it really is. He was he had a sailboat. Yeah. He could just chill and like, you know, listen to the ocean. What's the logic behind being tied to the boat? What if she tips over and then she's what? Gotta swim to her boat and the boat's floating away because it's, you know, rough waters. She'd lose her boat and she'd be stranded in the middle of the ocean, not connected to her boat until someone comes to rescue her. Yeah, big brother is gonna come on a helicopter. Yeah, but now if for in the meantime, she's just floating in the ocean, losing her stamina, drowning, a shark's gonna eat her? Does she have a life jacket on? Nope. I don't know if she does. I'm sure she's the fuck? Okay. I don't know. I don't see a life jacket. You're on your own then. No, she's got a life jacket on under that big old vest. Okay. Yeah, she has to. Maybe. Otherwise, she's just an idiot. I don't see a life jacket on in that photo. No, not in this, but if we're hitting 10 foot waves, bucking. You're putting the life jacket on. I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. We don't need to if we're just rowing along. Yeah. But I'm sure, yeah, then she has a home and a life jacket. Yeah. But still, I'd want to be tied to the boat. Like I, you ain't leaving me, honey. I'm not on this boat at all. Yeah. Wow, okay. Anyways, should we talk about what we have to talk about? Yeah, let's do it. Hot girl summer. Okay, let's get right into it. How to be a hot mom. Step one, be a mom. That's it. That's all you need to be a hot mommy. But summer is so scary for moms because, I mean, first of all, your entire clothing, constricting clothing, it's hot. And we go through like so much, especially if this is your first summer being a mom. Like if you gave birth in the winter, you're expecting your baby body, and maybe that's the clothes that you're pulling out, is like your pre-baby clothes. And your body has changed so much. And you just, this might be like the first summer that you're really truly realizing because you've been wearing sweaters, you know, or whatever all summer or all winter, that your body has changed, and it can be shocking and scary, even if it's as little as like your hips got whiter. And that's hard for a lot of mobs to deal with, especially that very first summer after you've had a baby. So we wanted to share some tips and then read some of your guys' tips on how to just feel confident this summer. So you're not spending the whole summer, you know, thinking about this. You can enjoy your summer. Do you know that girl? I don't know her name, but she she reads poems and she's like yes, like music. You mean oh no, no, no. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. She and she's got the perfect voice for it. Yeah. So she did this one a couple years ago and it really stuck with me, or maybe it was just last year, where it's like, I have never like thought about anyone else's body at a public pool after I left the pool. Yes. And really dead stop. Like that was like really eye-opening to me. And I'm like, I wish other people like had heard that too. Yeah. Because I've never left a public pool. I can't even remember like what somebody else looked like. That's not why I'm there. No, I agree. But you think that when you're like, oh, I can't wear, you know, I can't wear one piece even because I don't want anybody to see like my ingrown hairs. I'm sorry. Who's swimming up to my crotch? Because last I checked, we're keeping our distance, babe. Yeah. Like, who cares? Yeah, who cares? And who's really looking at that? Yeah. Truly. Yeah. I a hundred percent agree. And I feel like when you're like analyzing the way that you are, you're not spending time focusing on what matters, which is summer with your kids. Like you're just when you're so worried about it, you're gonna restrict yourself from fun. I can't get in the pool because I don't want people to see, you know, my hairy legs, or I can't go play basketball with my son because I don't want to wear shorts. Like that is really gonna put a stop to a lot of fun activities. Yeah. And that's that was what I was gonna say is if you aren't, if you don't do it for yourself, then you have to do it for your kids, because that I think is what changed me a lot. I mean, like I have never been, nor will I ever be, like the skinny girl. I've always been bigger. But when I had Nora, I think that having a girl especially made me like change my mind, like the way I think about these things. Because I'm like, if she thinks about growing up and she thinks about memories of going to the pool or the beach, do I want her to remember me splashing and playing with her and getting my hair wet and not caring that I look like a founding father with my wet hair? And like, or do I want her to think of me like sitting up like covered up in a swimsuit cover-up and just being like, have fun? Sitting under the umbrella because she's old. Yeah. Like, because also she like is gonna hear for her whole life because she already does hear it, you look just like your mom. Yeah. Well, okay, so if I'm talking badly about my body and she And I don't want to wear a swimsuit, and I don't want to wear a swimsuit, and she's hearing you look just like your mom, then she's gonna think, I guess I'm not supposed to wear a swimsuit. Agreed. Um and so we have always, and this is gonna sound crazy. I don't care. We don't even say you can do that because you're a big girl. We've never, ever, ever said that. Oh, I get it. Because I'm like, that really has nothing to do with someone's size. So we've always said you can do that now because you're a three-year-old, you're a four-year-old, you're a five-year-old. Yes. Like I just said that to her the other day. I, you know, you you can do that because you're a six-year-old now. Six-year-olds can manage that. I love that. Because I don't like it when people are like, well, you're a big boy or you're a big girl. It has nothing to do with their size. Yeah, I never thought about it that way. That's a good point. I mean, just little things like that really, I think can start to change our like the thinking, and we don't even realize it. Yeah. Like, I think I've talked about this before that she's like, What are those stripes on your belly? And I'm like, oh yeah, those are from like when you guys were in my belly and you guys needed extra room and you stretched my skin out. Like, but we talk about it. I don't say like, oh, those are my stretched stretched mouths. Don't look at those. I hate them. Yeah. Or she like will come up and be like, Your belly is big. It is big. It's bigger than hers. Like she's very like they're matter of fact. Matter of fact. She doesn't say that to be rude. She doesn't even think of it as being rude. It's not rude. She's just saying a fact. Um, and so I'm like, yeah, it's bigger than yours. It's soft. Like these are soft. And in I feel like we're kind of reverting back this year to Hollywood like 2008 culture. We're skinny, super, super skinny. I was gonna say that. Not eating is back. Yes. And there is nothing wrong with being healthy or thin. A lot of people, that is just how they are. I'm not saying that. I'm saying there is a bad culture going on in Hollywood right now. With eating disorders. With eating disorders. Yeah. And being thin because of eating disorders, and not because they're getting healthy and not because they're working out. There's a difference. Yeah. It is, it is truly an epidemic in Hollywood right now. And it's and our kids are seeing that, and I'm seeing that, and moms are seeing that, and they're expecting to just like bounce back in a summer. And that is hard. There's a lot of like influencer culture too. That's like scary. Yeah. Like very, very, very skeletal thin. And like you said, some people are thin. And that, but they're healthy and that's their body. Yeah. And you know that there's a difference. But if you go back and look at some influencers from like three years ago to now, you're like, okay, you were thin before, and now like it looks like you haven't eaten really. Yes. And I think that it's important to unfollow if that's like something that's maybe triggering for you, or like you're like, oh, do I need to look like that? No, the answer is no, you don't. Like that's true body dysmorphia. And like we need to like, I I hope they get help. Yes. I want you to know the difference between moving your body because you love your body and you want it to be healthy and you're eating healthy because you want your body to be healthy versus because you hate your body. There's a difference. And I love being active in the summer. I love going out and going on hot mom walks, but I want you to do it because you love yourself. Yeah. Not because you hate yourself. Or because you're punishing yourself for like a something you ate. Yes. Yeah. I want you to enjoy ice cream cones and not feel so shameful. And something I started doing a couple years ago when I wasn't feeling so good in my body is taking a lot of photos, even though I didn't feel as confident in myself. Because it was like a couple years ago that I realized I had no photos of me with the kids, especially like in the summertime. I was scrolling through so many pictures of my husband, and even he didn't have a lot of pictures because I was telling him not to take photos of me. And it was sad. And I was like, I hate that because my kids aren't gonna look back on a photo of me and be like, damn, you know? Yeah. Look at mom. They're gonna be like, I love this picture of my mom. Yeah. I got I have this picture of my mom from the beach, and it's one of my favorite pictures. Yeah. And so I started taking photos for the memories, and now I'll say that, like, oh, it's for it's just for the memories. Because even if I don't feel confident in it, I want that memory. Yeah. And I don't even look back on those photos and go, oh my God, I hate myself in that photo. I'm looking back on that photo and being like, oh my God, I remember that day on the beach and look how little he was. So I started taking photos, and I really want you guys to do that this summer. Take the photo. No matter what, it's just for the memories, and you'll you'll regret it not doing it because I personally did that and I'm regretting it now, looking back on the big gap in my photos. Yeah, but also I think we need to say that um Ellie and I like are not, I think I can speak for both of us when I say like we're it's not like we're like we are the most common. Yeah. No, especially like not my 20s. I mean I struggled with weight and yes, yo-yo, dieting. And I mean I think that's why we carry the most advice because we know what it feels like to be on that end of it. Yes, we do. Yes. Especially after I had my first baby. And I, like we said, we've always been like the bigger gals. Yeah. But but the body changes after having your first baby is shocking, especially when you're trying to fit into clothes that were from last summer. Yeah. And no, I agree. We're not. I'm not the most confident, but I'm trying because take it till you make it, baby. I am very comfortable in my body now, though. Like, but I I'm also done having babies. I am happily married. I'm not like out on the dating seat. You know, yes. There's a lot of like factors that go into like you know how you feel about your body. But no, I I if you're struggling though, I absolutely can like relate to that. Yeah. But it's not, you're not gonna love yourself every second. No. I I agree with that. But I want you to enjoy yourself this summer and not feel like you have to be restricted because of what you look like. Yeah. And another thing that's really hard, your first summer after having a baby, you're like, well, I'm not wearing a crop top to the park. Yeah. What do I do? Like, I can't, I can't even wear half my wardrobe anymore. And that's a stressor in itself. Buy a new wardrobe. Yeah, that fits. That fits. Go get yourself some new clothes. Don't try to fit into something that doesn't fit you anymore. Love your body. Yeah. Go to shopping spree. Yeah. Do that. Yeah. I think that's all I wanted to say. I want to know what other people said. Me too. By the way, I'm getting in the pool and I'm wearing goggles and I'm playing mermaids. And that's the kind of person I am. And I'm doing handstands. Actually, it was so funny. When I was at the Y a couple months ago at our gym, we were in the pool and we were swimming, just me and my two kids, and they were asking me to do tricks in the pool. And I was like, this, oh my God, I've waited my whole life for this. This is my time to shine. I'm like, what do you want? A flip, a handstand, a cartwheel. Like, give me a cannonball. I'll do it right now. And they wanted me to do a handstand. And so I did a handstand. Well, on the other side of the pool was a bunch of older ladies doing their yoga swim or whatever, swim yoga. You know where they get those little weights. That's so cute. I know. And I was on the other side of the pool and I was doing handstands. And I got done doing my handstand and the kids were giggling. They thought it was hilarious because they just, you know, it was so funny. And the older ladies were all staring at us. I thought we were being too loud, and that's why they were looking over. And one of them was like, Oh my God, we just can't stop watching you because we, your kids, when you were under the water, looked at you like you were the moon. Like they just thought you were the coolest thing ever. And that the look they were giving you while you were doing a handstand was just, they were like, we we couldn't stop watching. I mean, it was the cutest thing ever. And I was like, that just made my day. They were like, they were like, someday they're not gonna think you're as cool. So soak it up right now because they're like the fuck they want. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, wait a minute. This is backhanded. No, but they were just like, you know, we remember when our kids thought we were just like the coolest thing on earth. And they were like, we couldn't stop watching you. I'm like, stop. I'm too emotional for this. And maybe they're like, I wish I would have done like handstands in the water. I was in my cover up. Exactly. Exactly. And they're like, I can't go back. No, so there's your do the fucking handstands. Do the handstands, wear the goggles, play mermaids. Get your hair wet. Get your hair wet. Just get your hair wet. Yeah, it's fine. Come on. Who are you trying to impress at this local splash park? No one. Tim? Tim's got three DUIs. Okay, what do you guys say? Let's see. Something that always makes me feel better is remembering that people are too concerned about what they look like to pay attention to what you look like. That is true. Period. We really are so self-absorbed in anything funny. I mean, there's no need to care about anybody else. No, that is true. Because they only care about themselves. Yeah. It's so true. But it's kind of like what we said. I've never left the pool and been like, wow, that girl had, you know, something going on. That's crazy. Yeah. I've never thought about that. Also, Ellie and I have seen a lot of naked women. A hundred percent. Yeah. Because of our profession. Yeah. By the way, if you're new here, we're postpartum nurses. We've taken a lot of people to the bathroom. We've helped a lot of people breastfeed. We've looked at a lot of pads. And I am here to tell you everybody generally speaking is the exact same. Yes. Like, not in a like in a it's everybody is different, but everybody is the same. We all have the same shit going on. Yes. Yes. Every single person. Like, and and it's just like, it's always very interesting for me to think about it that way. Yeah. Because like everybody has a soft belly, especially postpartum. Yeah. Like, obviously, uh, but like for a while, even forever, maybe. Like your belly is gonna be soft because bellies are supposed to be soft. Yeah. Like you're gonna have dimples and creases and sags, and everybody is the exact same. And I always think that's interesting. And I so many moms, when you walk in, will be like, oh, I'm so sorry, like my boobs are out, or I'm so sorry, like I'm in my underwear. And I'm like, honey, I promise you I've seen it all. It's unphazing to me. And yeah, everybody is the same. And I've seen it all. And we've said this before on here, but as soon as we leave the room, I literally forgot. Yeah. Like, I don't know if she shaved or if she didn't. Yes. Don't care. Yeah. Same with the pool. Okay. Next person. I have to remind myself to stop comparing myself to others. I had to unfollow some Instagram accounts and started following people that look like me, people I actually relate to. It's helped my confidence and mental health tremendously. Yeah. Yes. I've had to do that too. Yes. I love following real moms, especially being like a gym girly. I love following moms that are going to the gym and they share their wake workout tips or their fitness hacks because I'm like, this is relatable. She's been through what I've been through. She, you know, looks like me. And now I feel like I can look up to somebody in a healthy way. Yeah. And not a, she's 19 and has never birthed a baby way. Yeah. Why am I trying to look like her? Yeah. It's not gonna happen. I like following the accounts that's like, like, yeah, like they're moms, they work out, and they've lost 30 pounds and it's taken two years. I'm like, that is so relatable. Yes. Because they're like, this is not gonna happen overnight. Like I've made so many changes and like small changes, and I I like those accounts because I'm like, that is so relatable. And that's where you are in life. Yes, exactly. Yeah, it's fun to follow that and it's good to get tips from that type of person. Yes. Yeah. And usually if they're that type of person, they're doing it in a healthy way, and you're watching that and getting good tips and not starve yourself tips. Yeah. Let's see. I went through my closet, and if I tried something on and it didn't make me feel confident, I got rid of it. Clothes from pre-kids just don't fit the same, and that's okay. That's exactly what we were saying. Like it's a different vibe, even. Like those, even the type of clothes that's in your closet is a different vibe. Once you become a mom, you're looking for a different type of wear. Yes, than what was pre-baby. And it's not even about the size, but it's like, even if that crop top does fit me, I'm probably not gonna feel my best in it like I would something else that I'm gonna be able to move around with my kids, play at the park, get on the phone, feel comfortable in. Yeah, why am I trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans just because they do fit? Yeah. When I can go up a size and now I'm comfy and I look so fucking good, anyways. The fuck? I'm just kidding. These are all such good ideas. Yeah, I I love these tips. These were good tips. I love this energy. I hope everyone takes them to heart and doesn't just blow me off. Also, I I we you kind of touched on this when you said some people are thin. And that is so true. Like, if you look at somebody and you're like, oh, she's so like skinny, I wish I had her body. Guess what? She's looking at your tits going, I wish I had boobs. Yeah. Like everybody has body issues. Yes. Every single person. Yeah. Even the smallest person. Yes. And so, and everybody's like allowed to like have those issues. Yeah. Yeah. And so this is the same thing. And that's for them too. Because even though they've had a baby and they they may look like they've bounced back, there's insecurities because there's soft bellies. Yeah. And there's stretch marks. And yeah. And I want you to feel good in yourself too. Even though you may feel like you look the stereotypical way on the outside again, you still got shit going on. Everybody's got shit going on. Yeah. And that's being a mama. Hopefully, our message came through clearly. Yeah. Have a fun summer. Take the photos. Be the mermaid. Get in the pool. Play the basketball. Get your tits out at the community pool. Wear a thong. Stir things up. Get posted on your local Facebook page. I don't care. The thong bikinis at the risk of sounding like my mother, though, those girls are awfully young to be wearing. I get it on like the like a beach or something, but sometimes I'm like, honey, you're about to go down a water slide. You're gonna flip a lip out. Also, like if you're on a family vacation, I'm about to see your starfish coming down that slide. Why are you wearing a thong bikini with your parents? You're 15. Yeah. Like, Maddie, put it away. Put it away. I mean, maybe if you're on spring break with your friends and you want to be like, Yeah, you're in Kaaba. Yeah. If you're in Michigan, full copyright. Get at least a cheeky. You're making dad feel feel weird. It's like, oh my god, that's my daughter. Like, no, come on. Yeah, but are 15-year-olds listening to us on this podcast right now? Probably not. Maybe. Okay. Like, I mean. They're our teen moms. Yeah. Maybe they just think we're a hoot. Get your tits out. If you're old enough. Don't listen to Emily. Get your songs out. If you are if you are of consenting age, get your tits out. Just not off the local water park. Please. Thank you. Okay, we love you. We hope you have a great weekend. I don't know what's next weekend. It'll be a surprise. It'll be a surprise.

SPEAKER_00 45:21

Have a good weekend. See you in a minute.