The Nuclear Engineer Who Sees Beyond Logic | Montse on Human Nature & Self-Awareness

What happens when a nuclear engineer steps beyond logic and into the human mind?

In this episode, I sit down with Montse, a nuclear engineer, TEDx speaker, philosopher, and spiritual thinker and we go far beyond surface-level conversation.

This isn’t just about science or spirituality. It’s about the space where both collide.

We explore what it really means to be human.
Self-awareness. Identity. The patterns we live by without questioning.
And whether logic alone is enough to understand life or if something deeper is at play.

Montse brings a rare perspective. Highly analytical, yet deeply reflective. Structured thinking meets inner awareness.

This conversation challenges the way you see yourself, your decisions, and the world around you.

If you’ve ever questioned who you are beneath the roles, beliefs, and conditioning, this is for you.

Watch, reflect, and decide for yourself.

Subscribe and support the journey.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to the Human Mass Podcast. Today I have got Monsey Castle, TEDx speaker and philosopher. That's what we're going for. Welcome.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Thank you very, very much for coming.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

And we have managed not to have a pre-podcast before the podcast. We've tried very hard. The first question there's the only planned question I have. Do you know what that's gonna be?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

No, no either.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

That's really good. As this podcast becomes more known, people are gonna start researching the answers to this question, I think. So the question, the first question I ask everybody is who are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

That's a very in-depth question.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

I know.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

I would say I'm uh I'm a paradox a little bit. I might consider myself a very curious individual, that's first and foremost. But I consider myself a person who is in the in this breach of analytical mind, but also very creative at the same time. So I couldn't define myself with a label very easily. And that's one of the things that drives my thinking, um my life in general. And in a society world or society lens, I would say I'm a nuclear engineer, the ex speaker, and philosopher kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

So that's fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

So depends on who ask. I give different if you ask me in the spiritual sense, I have another question even. I would say I'm a very old soul, but with a very young spirit at the same time. So depends on who ask, I will give different questions.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

That's a great answer, actually. Yeah, because if someone who maybe doesn't seem very self-aware or aware in general, you just say, Oh, I'm Monsey and I work for Nicolan G. Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

And you've you've kind of pushed it to the next thing. So you that's what so basically, just to let people know, I saw Monse on she's come up on my feed, and things that she was saying, because a lot of people in this self-aware world, if you like, say a lot of things, and the things you were saying seemed very there was quality behind it and and really interesting to create the questions, and uh, I was really interested. So, and then when I went into it, then I then noticed that you'd done a TEDx talk as well. And then, like you said about the analytical side, but you were a nuclear engineer, yeah. And it's complete, like you say, it is a complete paradox.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

So let's start with um your TEDx talk. Because I think it was really interesting to to give it the a headline, if you like, it was um that social media is the way you don't want to I want to give you justice to it, but you'll explain it. So social media is your reality, and reality is your reality, and it was saying that you can control both.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Yeah, intentionally.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Intentionally.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

If you use your attention, you can.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

You you you only you didn't delve into it much on the TEDx talk, but you you like when you skipped over it, you said you used to have a different mindset in the TEDx talk. You you said it like quickly.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

In social media, you mean?

SPEAKER_02 3:03

No, in your mind.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, of course, it's b it's both at the same time. It's like actually when I started changing my mindset in my life, I actually changed it my mindset in social media and also the algorithms and my feet change as a result because it's all really connected to attention. In the same way, you are gonna focus on good things or bad things in your daily life, the same happens with what you interact the most on social media. If you stop for the dramatic, shocking posts, social media is gonna give you more of that, and the same happens in life.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

So you're trying to.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

It's the attention game, is how I call it. It's like if you train your attention or kind of observe where your your attention goes, then life or social media as an analogy will give you more of that, or will give you more of that because the algorithms are designed in a way to resemble this mechanism that we have in our minds.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Which is the same in life.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Yeah, the same in life. If you start thinking, okay, I'm gonna uh focus today on things to be grateful for, you start seeing more. And then you go on social media and gonna say, I'm gonna start focusing today on social media to uh in fitness. You start seeing more fitness posts, interact with them, and then suddenly the algorithm fits you with more. So it's actually it's like a mirroring effect.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

And what what made you decide to have that shift and change? What was happening?

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Like my my shift in consciousness in mindset is the other deep question.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

So was you was you working as a nuclear engineer at the time?

SPEAKER_00 4:39

No, no, no. I was 23. Like it was it was study times and even in Manchester I was.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

So it was like my first point of, let's call it awakening, because it was conscious awakening, how I call it. Like when I started to realize, okay, I'm actually designing a little bit my life, I have some control over. Because I started getting some anxiety for personal reasons, personal circumstances happening, like hard time, also changing culture, going through a breakup, but also like very alone in Manchester at the time and very misunderstood, and not having the best self-esteem at that time, even though I was very good with grades, like this kind of girl very good with grades, apparently everything perfect. Self-esteem was ray.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

And why do you think that is? Do you think it's a female general female thing, or was it personal to you?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Until 22, probably living in the same culture, Spanish culture, like surrounded with the same frame, have a friend, then you change and you are faced with who you are really. Because people like um kind of reflect at you different things. If you move countries, for example, then you start interacting with suddenly different cultures, different people's uh mindset, and then you think, oh, is mine all right? What I learned in Spain, in my town in Spain, is that all right, or should I change? So you start asking yourself many questions. And then I was 23. It wasn't super, super young, but it was quite young for several things, and then obviously a stress university exams. I was very like a master's, like trying to do nuclear engineering, like a very difficult at the time, going through a like a hardship breakup, like very uh Was the breakup someone in Spain or England? No, at the same time, all happened.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Yeah, but were they in Spain or England?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Uh England, but in different places, not in Manchester. But actually, hardship through the breakup, asking me myself many questions, like the breakup was part of the catalyst as well. So, in a way, I'm grateful, even though it was a very, very hard time. I think that that year, 2018, was kind of like a reborn for me. So that's when I started to get into like a bit of psychology because I needed. At first I needed it. I was like, I don't have a clue what's going on with my mind and all these thoughts happening, like all these questions, like suddenly who I am, existentialism, and then intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and stuff. And then I started with psychology, and then I started to realize reading or speaking to somebody. Uh speaking to some, like counseling, like not very in-depth, but at the university and stuff. But then I started to become more passionate about it. Like cognitive therapy, all these things like action, face your fears, and all the things. And then I started to play with my mind. And then I started to get myself into more research.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

How do you play with your mind? How?

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Play with my mind, like, you know, it's like you are afraid of. I mean, I wasn't this is an example. I wasn't afraid of heights or anything. But if you're afraid of heights, maybe you can try and be a bit more high in a play. And then ask your mind, oh, are you really that afraid? Like kind of talking back.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

So I started doing these little games, probably because that's why I told you, I think I've always been very, very curious. So I don't jump to a conclusion very easily. So I have this scientist mindset in me. So I'm like, oh, I'll ask questions, that's fun. Even though I was struggling so much, I find that game a little bit rewarding in a sense. And then I started to, okay, that work. And that work. And then why that work? And then I started researching myself. At that time, a little bit more obsessed because I wanted to get better. But then at some point, after a year, it was more of a passion without attachment. But at the beginning it was like, oh, why this work? Why this work? Started reading neuroscience, starting going more like therapy, more like asking the therapists questions that she was like, oh, you really know a lot. Like, actually.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

She's crying.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, actually, at some point she told me, don't come back here. It's true. It's true. After a few months, it's like, you really know a lot about this. And not only knowing, I was practicing it. Because so many people go and just listen and spectacle get fixed. No, no, I was practicing it at real time. So my my recovery was like quite quick for my intrusive children. I got like obsessive about it maybe the first six months.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Because I needed to get better. I was like, why is this happening to me? I have everything.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

And what did you go into? Like, because obviously people, I always say that people, when they're in the womb, they're not called Alex or Muncie. No. They're just there's no name. And then they come out, and then the parents go, You're Alex or Muncie. Yeah. And then the parents' personalities and the culture and everything gets put on that baby. And then that's who they are. But that's not who they are. No. So did you how deep did you go in that side of things?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

That's one of the things. Actually, that's why I started with those existential questions at 23. It didn't happen to it, it wasn't due to any weird situations or substances or anything. I'm not, I'm very afraid of these things. I've never tried any of these things. But it was mostly because the counselor in Manchester recommended a different approach. Like if you go to Spain at the time, like seven years ago, it was more like talking therapy, CBT, which is like face your fears, kind of like practical stuff, more like logical. But then in Manchester, maybe I was a lucky person to find out this counselor. She told me, like, going to mindfulness. I didn't know what that was. And then I started mindfulness. I started meditating. Meditating, actually properly, just sitting down. And at some point I realized, oh my goodness, I'm not my thoughts. And that was a kind of the boom.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

And what are your thoughts? What are they? Where do they come from?

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Yeah, I started to- I didn't get crazy, of course, but I was like, what the fuck is this? You know, it's like I was thinking in the in the halls of residence of the university at 23. Oh my god. Like looking at the mirror, not recognizing me, thinking, Who am I? That was the catalyst moment. So then after that, I started with the passion. At first, as I told you, like to recover in a way, to feel better again.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

But then I'm like a trauma response at first time, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 10:46

At first it was like just getting better, but then I never came back to my old self. Which is fantastic. But I just grew. And then at some point, after six months of a bit of sales, I need to get better. Then I just started getting better and trusted that I was gonna get better and better, and then I continue becoming more passionate about it with like from detachment. Like I didn't need to become perfect. That's another trap.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

It is a good one. That's a really good one. That's a message.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

That is that's the one of the best things at the time that the therapist in these six months helped me is like, okay, you know so much, you are growing so much, and you are recovering so quickly. Now don't attach into this the obsession of, and I was thinking, yeah, I'm finding I I was actually observing my own obsession about it and saying to her, like, I'm actually getting now obsessed with the other things. She told me, Yeah, you can quickly, because you are so curious, you found out a niche, a new passion or whatever. But then at some point I started relaxing. It's you know, after six, eight months, and then is when like I skyrocket, like 2019, I started, okay, from a grounded place, I'm gonna continue, you know, applying for engineering jobs. My background was in engineering, finished my master's, everything. But then it's like, ah, I'm gonna keep this passion alive. While maybe doing the usual, I don't know, fitness, going out with friends. But keeping this passion alive, and then at some point after COVID, I realized I'm starting to feel confident in my voice. And then it's like two years ago when I started thinking, I'm gonna pursue like this passion seriously, because I know a lot from my age, like 28, 29 at the time. It's like I know loads about this. And I started to believe it because at first I was like, I cannot even say how much I know. People are gonna be like weird out, or or maybe like, who do you think you are?

SPEAKER_02 12:34

Yeah, but yeah, is that is that frustrating that you can't have some of those chats where you want to go deep with somebody because they're just definitely you can't go any deeper.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

I mean, right now I I have friends like people even in social media that you meet and it's like, okay, they understand. Yeah, yeah. But then before that, it was like, okay, I'm imagine I started this journey, 23, 24. At 24, I was very lonely in the in this conversation. Everyone's just partying. And actually, you know, the therapist told me not to come back because I was very good at it already. But I was talking to her the only one.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

That must be frustrating and even more lonely.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Yeah, because at that time I wasn't into a spiritual yet.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah, that's what wait now. That's my next question. No, no, no. But but the keeping on the the brain side of it.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Was there a particular, like, because for example, uh Freud and Adler, for example.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Carl John.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Yeah, but those two have Freud and Adler as two examples. Freud is basically not keeps you in the past, it's all about you. And then Adler is no create your future. So there is there any, was it so Carl Jung? Who was it? Carl Jon. Who was it?

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Who who was there at first, to be honest, you need to understand a lot of things. So first I would go, it's not going to traumas. I don't like this word trauma, this very keeps you in the past, in my opinion. It's like a lot of a lot of here is narrative. So it's like if you say, Oh, I have so many traumas, it's like, yeah, okay, like move from that. I I don't want to be like bypassing, I'm I'm never bypass anything. I cry, I I don't know, I get angry, whatever. I regulate myself, but I feel everything. So, but the trauma world, actually, if you keep feeding it, I don't like it that much. But when I went to therapy, you need self-awareness. So actually, you start seeing all of it. So that was my first step of seeing all of the thoughts, seeing, oh my goodness, all of these thoughts. Why I am, I don't know, envying that person. It sounds weird, but I was thinking at 23, why am I envying this person? I'm feeling shame because it's like, oh, I'm an envy person. But it's like everyone envies, but it's like how you turn this envy into other things. Maybe it's inspiration. So I started to like get into this, okay, self-awareness is needed, but then you need self-compassion in that mix as well, to not get into oh, shame all the time. Like, oh, I'm not good at this, I feel bad. No, you need self-compassion because from that you create the future. I think it's my opinion. And then obviously, presence. Mindfulness helped me like loads. It's one of the key things. Apart from like this being present. Yeah, this awakening moment is like, who am I? I'm not my thoughts. Like the advice from the counselor in Manchester was like key. Because, yeah, my therapists uh in Spain, I had one therapist in Spain at the time for that six months, was more about like talking, therapy, which is great at that moment. I needed someone to talk to and bent, and um CBT, which is like phase your fear.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

So sometimes like talking, crying is just energy moving, it's just getting out of your body.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

I needed that at the time, but then it was a point that it wasn't no longer it was no longer needed. So that's why it's not enough. But then the mindfulness is a thing that never stops because it's like you being present, like I could be present right now, I'm more in flow, I'm more like I don't know, it's just it that it's a journey that never ends, like practicing mindfulness. So I think that's another key point to my like awake.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

The compassion, I think, was one of the most important points is having that compassion because if you have a um a goal in your mind, and that can make people um overwhelm people. So having that compassion to say just work towards it is okay, just doing steps towards it is okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go at your own pace. If you feel like you can do more, do more.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Being the observer of okay, I have this big goal, but it's like, how do I narrate this to myself? I have this big goal, I can achieve it, or I have this big goal, it's impossible. So when you observe how you narrate your own story about this goal.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

That's great. Because I want to ask you, when you someone was watching This is the mindfulness thing.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Actually, you observe your thoughts. But that's what it is.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

If someone's watching now and they're not into that journey yet, and we keep saying, or you keep saying, You're not your thoughts. Yeah. So I would explain that simply to them. So someone to like a five-year-old, your thoughts are not your own. So because they're thinking, well, they are my thoughts because they're in my head. That's what they're thinking, aren't they? So can we help them?

SPEAKER_00 16:54

But you're not your arm. So that's why. It's like it it started with me because I was immersed only in these thoughts and I thought it was me. But then when I did the mindfulness meditation, which I it's one of the things I truly recommend, I need to start putting, I don't know, in social media that I meditate for two, three years in a row every day.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

And that is uh big commitment. What, like 10 minutes, five minutes, two minutes?

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Ten. You don't need more, but it's the commitment that actually reshapes your brain, I think. And I am a much more present person, an observant. But to explain to a five-year-old, because I go out of tangents.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Yeah, so we we're trying to explain. So someone's saying, if they're not my thoughts, what are they? How would you explain that simply?

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Yes, I would say like you have a thought, but you are also observing that you have a thought.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Where's the thought coming from?

SPEAKER_00 17:41

The thought is coming from, well, you don't need to even understand where it's coming from. I mean, at that point that I didn't know, now I would say consciousness. Yeah, okay. Universe, life. But right right now, I'm more spiritual in the sense I grew into that. But at that point, I didn't even know where these thoughts come. Like the ideas here, I mean, like the world of ideas. But you can observe them as well. You are saying, okay, um, I I'm you said before, like I'm going for a for a coffee, I'm hot in this room. You are saying this sentence, and you can observe that you're saying this sentence. So who is observing? Like you can, you know, you know what I mean. So it's the it's the I mean I would say to the people who doesn't who hasn't got experience with this to learn about the observer effect. I think it's called like psychologically. It's kind of you are not your mind because you can observe your mind in real time. I know it's very hard because you need the practice of the mindfulness to be like in the present, and that's where it flow comes later in life. But it's like you need to be in the present, and then you realize, okay, I'm feeling sad, or okay, I'm having the thought of uh the microphone is not in the right height. But the autopilot is a tricky place to be. Before 23, I was an autopilot. And if it works for you, if I don't know, I'm getting good grades, my relationship with my boyfriend at the back went fine, okay. It works. If you have it, you don't focus. But then when things start getting tricky, you and then you kind of identify with all these thoughts and emotions. Imagine if you get into a lot of sadness for a breakup or for uh changing countries in my case, whatever, you identified with all these sad thoughts, or at some point, even existential, depressive dark thoughts. Then you become them and uh you can escape them. So if you can observe them, you are like creating this space, and they can be here, like you know, clouds in the sky, is what the first meditations were saying, like, oh imagine your thoughts are clouds in the sky and you are the sky. So I remember that, for example. So this, if you can detach in a healthy way, like you are still having the thoughts. The thoughts are on you somewhere. You don't need to understand where they are.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Did you struggle with soit and show it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

I remember when I was I don't know if I went to complex matters.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

No, I love it, no, I love it. I remember when I you reminded me of something when I first got into this thing, similar, similar age as well, actually. Um, and with meditation, because you've got because I'm similar to you, got analytical mind, logical mind. Like Luke, who was on here, uh the breath is he does the breath work, breath warrior is called.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Yeah, some people different ways to do it.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Yeah, and he was doing a breath work session with me and he went, breathe in, breathe out. And I went, Do you mean from my mouth? Do you mean from my nose? Can you be more specific? What do you mean? What do you mean, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 20:23

You said that.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Yeah, because I want to know. Like, breathe in, breathe out. No, yeah, but from my mouth or my nose. Can you be clear? And I was saying that to him, and he was laughing at me because that's the way my mind. And then what I learned when early on in in the meditation was, because like you say, clouds, uh, I remember when I was first, first, first doing it, um, the words would come across like a cinema screen.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Like a screen, like a TV screen.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

And I just go thank you, and they go. So I'd say thank you. You don't even address them, just go thank you.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

You acknowledge them.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Just acknowledge them, thank you. And then what I'm saying is, I suppose the message to people is everyone's got their own. There's no from my own experience of being so controlled or analytical, is go with the flow, it doesn't matter. You just do you. If it works for you, it works for you, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah, it would and then also I would say you know Did you struggle with that though, I mean? At the beginning, at first, yes, but then if you I was at that time that into recovering or getting better again, that is like I'm gonna commit to this thing that the counselor told me no matter what. Like it's the only thing I'm gonna do for the rest, I don't know, two months, every day. Intense. Intense.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Like Is that from your culture, your star sign? Don't you tell me what it is because I'm gonna guess at the end. Okay. Um or is it from where's that determination?

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Yeah, I think I'm quite perseverance.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

What does it come from though? What makes you and there could be some uh a lady from Spain who's come to England learn like a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

I think I'm a high achiever in general. So high achiever in general. So I've always been like, I mean, right now Yeah, where's it come from?

SPEAKER_02 21:41

No, but all DNA?

SPEAKER_00 21:43

No, probably probably culture culturally, and also like I am, I grew up in a way like maybe a perfectionistic mindset or like getting achievements, like maybe driven a bit more driven sometimes soul-wise, but other times probably ego and Insecurities, but that some things that are um that can be a paradox as well, but because some things that you need an ego sometimes. Yeah, some things that are uh driven by insecurity then help you in other ways. So this perseverance, sorry, perseverance, perseverance towards a goal.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

I couldn't do this in Spanish, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

So perseverance, for example, towards a goal of okay, I'm gonna go move to the UK, do this mastery in nuclear engineering, whatever. This perseverance mindset, even maybe driven by I need to prove myself, then proving myself and I'm gonna do this mindfulness 30 days and I'm gonna do it. And then I did it, and actually at some point it started working up.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

You think sometimes it's naivety as well. Sometimes naivety. Yeah, because sometimes things that I've done in the past, and you look back and you're flipping, how did I achieve that? And I look back and think, I know why, because you didn't know what was coming. You just went in. Yeah, and we could just go in.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Desperation at that point is like that person knows more than me. I don't know what I'm what I'm just gonna that person really know. She was very calm in the session, telling me, just go into mindfulness, like very calm. I was very nervous. Oh, I'm I'm feeling very ill, whatever. Well, not ill, but you know, who am I? And she was like very calm. So I she grounded me in a sense of like, yeah, you'll get better. I was thinking, really? So it's like I put the trust. That's another good thing, because at that point I was, yeah, I'm an open-minded person. And that with therapy is really good. I mean, right now I don't need it because I kind of like talk to my own. You were talking about where you was, yeah. When I needed it, if you don't open your mind to listen to someone who knows more at that point, you're never gonna progress. If you're a 23-year-old with all this anxiety, but you go there and it's like, who is this person telling me to do? Like a bit narrow-minded, like in your own beliefs, you're never gonna move past that depression.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Or grow in any way. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Yeah, but but there are many people that I've seen that they go and talk and talk and talk, but then you don't move past that if you don't open your mind to different ideas. So I think open-mindedness, open-mindedness and curiosity is massive.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

It's massive.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

The perseverance, of course, but curiosity and open-mindedness, I think these are qualities in me from like I cannot even remember. I was five years old and asking myself curious, very curious things. So I think that has been.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Why? Why you why is your DNA on soul like that? It's just so hard on the world.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

Yeah, I think curiosity definitely is soul.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

Like I remember myself, I can't even remember how old I was, like for four years, five years, asking myself, what was this? Like air or wind. And my mom was like, Why are you asking this question? Like, not air or wind, like this.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

This, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

And I was four years old. And look what I'm doing now.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Have you ever done an energy work? Have you ever done and done the energy work where you do that and you feel it in your hands and all that?

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Have you ever I kind of feel energy in a sense, but I've never gone together.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

You can play with energy with your hands and stuff like that. It's that interesting.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

But uh that's why probably I like philosophy at school very much. I like science very much in a sense, or because they are really a bit connected, even though people don't understand this way, like this connection. I find like science is searching for truth in in a way, in a more logical analytical way, but then philosophy, all this spiritual, is like searching for truth differently. But they are both searching for truth in a way.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

So, how did you get to the spiritual journey then?

SPEAKER_00 25:19

So you've done the mind how I became confident, mind, you know, plasticity, how the brain works, my mindfulness. But then at some point it's like, okay, it this is very like proactive, um reaching goals, everything. 26, 27, and then at some point, 27 probably, I was like, okay, but sometimes you try perseverance, perseverance, but then it's not for you.

SPEAKER_02 25:42

So you make it happen, but it wasn't for you.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Or or maybe you try so hard and the obstacles you think like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. And sometimes it's not. The door keeps closing, keep closing it, and it redirects you to someone else. So it's and sometimes you don't even know what you need. And then when I started to do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

That's a great message.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

Then it's like you think you know. I maybe the first three, four years of my awakening, it's like, yeah, I know. Uh conscious awakening, I'm gonna not control my thoughts, but monitor them. Strategy is okay, I wanna be there, so my thoughts are negative, I'm gonna put them in grateful things. But then at some point it's like, yes, this is a first part. Second part is sometimes, even though you try in this way, consciously with your conscious mind, so much, things are not for you, but you don't even know why yet. And then it starts like, oh, what's that? And then it moved me through, oh, let go.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

So that is the hardest thing with your logical, like logical in that way to let go and say, Oh, trust the universe. This is the feminine lesson. I still I'm still not fully there with that, but it is the hardest lesson.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

This is my last three years, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Yeah, just trusting. I mean letting go a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

Yeah, and right now I feel like I'm quite balanced in the sense, and I feel like it's all the people say about feminine, masculine energy. Maybe you don't put yin genres, whatever, the yin and yan, all of these things. Like maybe even though whatever, um even though in the past I I was already like a bit artistic with piano and stuff, because yeah, play piano as well. But I was very probably in the yan, like more like um obstacles, okay, let's move through this, problem solving, um, finding ways, but very proactive. But now I'm still that because you need that. You need to be anchored and proactive and moving things forward. But you still need to be like, okay, discern, like, is this my right direction? Reflect, but you don't know if it's the right direction. No, but you're you need to be more present, you need to be calmer rather than just pushing, pushing, pushing, and then get burnt out. Because one thing I I've seen as well is like uh work strategy, even people in social media. I've met many people. Well, it's gonna sound a little bit like woo-woo now. I don't have really any strategy. Some people would say, like, oh, you're crazy, but it's like other people would be like so much strategy that they lead to burnout every two, three weeks, because it's like three posts a day at this time, these hashtags, and it's like you are moving from too much yan in a sense, like this is a bit spiritual, too much like conscious like pursuit, but then not letting you flow and see what's going on. Because maybe you you suddenly reach out to me for the podcast and my strategy went out of the window. Maybe this week I'm doing the podcast. So it's like you need to let life surprise you in a way.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

On a personal note, it's so weird you said that because I was doing that. But you need that, must do this, must do that, must post this. And then what I've done though, um through my experiences You need both.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

That's why I mean.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

I've done both, yeah. Oh, did you know? Yes, I uh how did you know? Uh yes, I was gonna say that I've channeled I've managed to do both. No, I'm gonna stick to my plan of posting twice a day, but I'm gonna just gonna chill out a bit about the the post.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

You burn out, really.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yeah, because you think it's too hard.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

You're in a conscious mind all the time, and you need to let co-create with like let the other energy, like the flow, like what you're saying, like maybe there is a personal struggle at that point of posting, and maybe life is redirected to like the important thing right now is the other personal stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Because overall, holistically, maybe that's the more important thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

So it's like you need a little bit of flexibility in this structure, but you need a structure.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 29:18

If you don't have a structure at the same time, it's like at the same time, it's very flexible.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Like a goal without a plan.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

But not anchor. So you need both. And that's why relationship is.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

It's a great message, yeah, it's so true. I hope it resonates.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

It's a little spiritual, but it's a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Yeah, for everybody, in any goal, in anything they're doing. Don't be so hold on so tight. Relax. But have a plan, but relax with it.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

What they have to say, like sometimes I think I post something about that. I have like a vision or a North Star, but I don't have like a really detailed plan. Like all these people that say like nine to ten, ten to eleven, and I'm an engineer, nuclear engineer, and I don't do this. Because it's like I I work better with a deadline. It's like, okay, for example, in two weeks I'm gonna deliver that. But then, of course, maybe you try to do this nine, well, not nine to ten, but maybe on Monday I'll do these three paragraphs, on Thursday I research. But then maybe your energy is elsewhere that day. And uh you recharge with your family, your friend, you go to the gym, whatever, and the next day you you work much faster, much more efficient, and you do two things in instead of one that you thought. So sometimes managing energy is better than time, sometimes. I don't know how to explain that.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Perfect. I I get it. I hope everybody else gets it. Yeah, manage your energy, not just your time. Yeah, I think that's a great thing.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

But energy is, I think, more important. Yeah, and I think because sometimes if you feel low, even though you do the plan 9 to 10, you're not efficient. Yeah, I So in a in a wise mindset, I would say like many engineers, uh, sorry to say that, they don't understand the managing energy. And oh, you get burnt out, you get tired, you get exhausted, but at the same time, if you lean into this other flow, okay, maybe today it's okay, self-compassion. It's okay, I'm a bit less productive today, as my plan, but maybe I need to recharge. Let's see how I feel. I need to recharge in other areas, maybe family-wise, maybe creative in my way in my sense, uh, in my life or fitness, whatever it works for you. And then the next day, you are hyper-productive, suddenly, out of the blue. So it's like you need to trust as well, that sense.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

That's a really good, I think that's a really good thing. So have a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

It's like have a plan, but don't just get defined by the plan, I would say. So I it's how I work.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

And because you're in flow state talking now, aren't you? Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

I'm a bit scared, but I just go. I'm a bit discussed. I just go, but I'm a bit discussed. But you you get my message.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

It was perfect. It was perfect. So it's how I work. And do you think I was thinking as you were talking, um it it's a little bit your culture, because Italian culture, Spanish culture are quite similar. And they don't stress.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Yeah, I just feel like it'd be okay.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

We'll do it today, we'll do it tomorrow, it'll be alright. Good thing.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Good things and bad things. Yes, I came to the UK as well. Probably another variable to my awakening at that point. I see everyone like so driven goals in the master, like everyone applies to it.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

The weather's rubbish, we can't chill out.

SPEAKER_00 32:12

And I was I I was even in the second month of the master. It was maybe October, November, and people from different countries in that master in Manchester, University of Manchester, by the way, very international. So people from everywhere, all very driven, like in a way, like too much. I think they led to burnout for some of them. It's like, I need to apply for jobs now, now, tomorrow, uh, in a month, before the year ends. And I was like, we're just in the second. So this Spanish culture at the same time gets you more in the present. But sometimes it gets you too much in the present.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

So it's like balance again.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Again, the cultural side gives me the balance as well. And that's another point. I'm trying to put in the messages I go in social media because you can see the relaxed, uh, young spirit, whatever monster, like playful, uh living in the present, but at the same time, I'm driven.

SPEAKER_02 32:57

Yeah, and you're getting your job done doing it.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

So it's like I'm not just chilling here in the UK.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

To learn to learn to learn a different. I mean, I'm I'm half Italian and I can get by in Italy. I can't fluently speak. I couldn't do this podcast. No, I couldn't do this podcast in Italian. I'd get stuck all the time. Oh wow. I can enough to get most of a conversation, but if it gets too deep, I'm stuck. But what I'm saying is, so knowing that, how hard it is to learn a different language, especially if you're not speaking it every day. Obviously, you're speaking every day, but it's so hard. So I'm thinking, God, it made us thinking, to study nuclear, what is it?

SPEAKER_00 33:31

The master was in mechanical engineering design, but I ended up in nuclear.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Yeah, so to just to study nuclear engineering in Italy, I've got no chance. So fair play has just one achievement, you know, it's just that one.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

That young girl, young girl, yeah, driven like achievement.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

Yeah, that is massive, I think. That's a massive achievement. And what is nuclear engineering? I thought that sounds so thick, but I'm just thinking, what is it? It's simply to a five-year-old if you can't.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Oh my god, I cannot uh that's it's like the engineering is kind of solving engineering is solving problems.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

In nuclear problems.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Yeah, in a nuclear engine.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Or like the storage of the nuclear or something. Could be anyway.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Like I work in different um companies, well, these last two years, these last two, three years for the same one, but I work before in another one. Could be like in managing waste, could be like in efficiency, could be like in environment, could be in new designs, because in the UK we are having like new power stations being built. So could be in anywhere, like even in in around the world, there is like an objective to get to net zero in a way. So nuclear energy is helping the solar panels, all of this.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

What do you think to net zero randomly?

SPEAKER_00 34:37

What?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

What do you think to net zero randomly?

SPEAKER_00 34:41

What do you mean? What do I think?

SPEAKER_02 34:42

So, for example, I think the uh pressure put on England or the UK to do that when China is pumping out more a day than we are in a year, it's just madness to put all these restrictions on the internet.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

UK is very competitive. UK as a country is very competitive in this sense. Like in a respect.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

People are suffering, I mean. The people suffer because they're trying to force it too much, I think, with costs and high costs and these sort of things, but well, I I wouldn't know how to respond to this. Is that a job thing? Maybe. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:15

Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

Um going back to the spiritual side. Um so like with there was Carl Jung for the phil philosoph philosophical side um and the the mind analytical side of was there s a similar person on the spiritual side of things that you've looked at or or looked into?

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Well, I I like many, many, many.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

I'll give you an example. Mine was Wayne Dyer. I think Wayne Dyer.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

Oh, Wayne Dyer is good. Even in the mind, in the brain.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Everything.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

For intrusive for like ideas of narratives and spirituality was as well. And Alan Watts as well.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

Yeah, Alan Watts.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

For energy, like uh that's why I lent.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

So did you study these people as well?

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Kind of, and then I lean into Alan Watts, got got like influences from Tao philosophy like Tao philosophy then Jinan Jian, all of these things. So but mostly like also reading about kind of consciousness in a sense, like not energy work in depth, like I didn't go to Kundalini or all these uh chakras that much in depth, because still I'm a engineering in my mind. But I do believe in many of these things. I do believe, and I will I I I understood my I understand that a person like me will try the things when it's fully safe and confident about trying them. So right like for example, I I can trust that the chakras is a thing and all of these energies, but it's like maybe I'm not fully there, and I accept that.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Have you tried these things?

SPEAKER_00 36:43

No, but I study the things I actually can I feel like I read energy quite well. I mean, not going to woo-woo in this sense. Why?

SPEAKER_02 36:52

Go to woo-woo.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

That's what we're here for. I'm a bit engineer in this sense. No, but what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

No, go a little bit woo-woo. What do you mean, energy? Go on.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

What I mean read energy, I mean like when I'm with a person, like the aura thing. I mean I don't see it, but I really discern very well if the person is giving me what kind of vibes. And I grew into it massively these last two, three years. I can't.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

That's why my But you built that intuition up more.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

Yes, loads.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Am I alright?

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Yeah, good chance.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

You've seen alright since the first call.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

So that's why I lean into it. But actually, it allowed me too much. It allowed me so much to trust my inner knowing in a sense like cutting people off or maybe putting boundaries. That before was like a lot of okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Have you got friends off or colleagues, or what do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Friends, uh, yeah, colleagues or random people.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

What does that look like cutting people off? Just slowly ignoring.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

No, no, no, no. I'm very like, I'm I'm very respectful in this sense. Like, I will yes, tell them. I'm an adult each other.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

I need to say that I was gonna guess. I didn't want to guess.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

I mean, not in not in a hard way, but just telling like I don't think honest in a probably polite way, but with boundaries. I would just say, like, I think I'm we are not in the right place, or I think uh We're not vibing. You are asking me to meet up for a coffee after, I don't know, after um this happened or whatever, but I don't think I'm in the right place. Maybe maybe sometime in the future, maybe not. It's what I can offer right now. So I'm actually leaning into that helped me grow much more in a okay, trusting myself. That's why I started social media.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

When you first did that, did you get it? Yeah, definitely. And now you say it.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

Definitely, because when you are too much at the beginning of my awakening, more in the conscious mind, you feel these vibes or energy on people, but it's like you start overthinking them. And you start it's like, is it me? Is it them? And then you're asking yourself questions, and then you try engineering-wise, like, what is the what did they say this? Did they behave like this? What does it mean? Like a bit more like dialogue.

SPEAKER_02 38:50

But you because you don't have a clue what you haven't got a clue what their upbringing is.

SPEAKER_00 38:52

I don't need to know. Yeah, that's what you need to analyze.

SPEAKER_02 38:55

But you can't because you don't know what their upbringing is, what their thoughts are, what their vibe is, what happened to them that morning. You can't worry about their opinions.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

I think one of the key things, it again, I'm coming back to mindfulness, is if you are really, really present and you see the emotions or the vibe coming up in your body, trust them. But if you're not present, then you don't have this signal very strong. So then you still think. So in the interview with you, of course I wanted to come across as okay, I know what I'm doing, whatever. But I didn't try to impress, I also was evaluating at the same time. It's what I try to, I mean, not right now. I mean, well, maybe you will flush right now, it's different now, yeah. No, but what I mean is like when I talk to a person when I was younger, or before 23 or before 25, even, because the first two years wasn't that much on energy. But I would try to come across as ah, do they like me? And now it's like, do I like them as well? Very, very strong.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

That's good.

SPEAKER_00 39:48

And that is a good balance because do they like me? Yes, but do I like them?

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Yeah, and accepting both.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Yeah, yeah, both.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Yes, it's accepting both.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

And it's like, okay, that's the truth of life. It's what I call like the truth of life. It's like truth of life. It's like, okay, doesn't fit? Truth of life. Like, kind of, move on. It's not for you. Kind of I accept that much easier now. Um, before it was like, do they like me? And now it's like, no, no, I'm gonna be grounded and also observe. Not in an analyst psychological, no, no, just observe what it comes from me.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

I was when I because I contacted you, um, that you just made me think.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

I didn't even like go, oh, oh, how you didn't even have second thoughts, you just contacted me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

Yeah, I was like, oh, I don't know how.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

You trusted it.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

Yeah, I didn't go, hmm, is she an expert in this? What I want to speak to about is she this, issue that. Exactly, we talked about that. Oh, I like what she's talking about, and da da da. I didn't look even look how many followers you had, or I just went. Thank you. I just went you know, I just I just want to speak to her. Because I'm I'm hoping that the the the guest that I do speak to, other people want to hear and speak to as well. See what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 40:55

That's that's no, no, that's I really I'm really thankful for that because I was thinking, wow, he probably he you in the first call that we had, you actually tell me there's like so many people in social media, they can read and they can go through it, but sometimes it's just a feeling.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

It's yeah, it's just frequency, it's vi.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

So if you trust that feeling, you are far away. Far far far far.

SPEAKER_02 41:15

Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

You're ahead of many people because if you are in your mind, or even in the autopilot, even before my 23-year-old self, like very lost. Um you cannot trust it. You don't trust yourself. But then if you are grounded, trust yourself, you can really discern a lot more. And even though people don't believe in this, you can really feel after an interaction if the people really drain you. It's what I told you. Like, I'm telling uh my objectives or my dreams to people. Well, now I know how I feel if I tell certain people. Some people are cut off my life, but some people are still there, but with boundaries. So I won't tell them the full story. Maybe I tell what I want them to know. Yeah, work with goals.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Yeah, work with good, no problem. Thank you. Yeah, you just keep it simple.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

You just put the boundaries to protect your energy in a way. Protect that you don't get drained in your goals, to protect that when you have a low moment, you don't overthink for this person. Oh, your dreams are too big. And that low moment that you have, maybe personal reasons or you are ill that day, whatever, because physical health affects mental health as well. So that day maybe you're a little bit low and you remember that comment from that person that you then know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

And you've let it in.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Yeah, in that day you are more fragile. Yeah. So what I do with this discernment is really like, okay, can I trust this person? And then I go layers and layers and layers until one person really knows me. But it's quite, yeah, I can share a lot on social media, but you don't necessarily know me.

SPEAKER_02 42:49

And you're doing what and what you are sharing, which is I've really enjoyed every post that you do, and that we're gonna have a look at it. Um you be tagged in everything anyway. Um, and is so why are you doing it? Are you doing it to help people? Just because you like to, like you say, find people that are the similar vibe.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

Why what's your I think I've reflecting on this before starting because I knew people were gonna ask me this.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

I work or anyway.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

No, it's just anyone. I'm I would say I must.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

Because you must work with lots of non-spiritual people.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Yeah, but I would say that but you'll be surprised because many people have faith, and that's very related. Like you're religion, faith. Yeah, or any other kind of faith in life through struggles, or many people like came from other countries. I work in the international company. So you'll be surprised. I mean, I thought they would be very analytical. They are they all are, eh? Like I am a bit. But you'll be surprised how many people are reaching out to me that they know my social media now and saying, Oh, it's really great what you are doing. And I was thinking, I didn't think you would understand. Like this is my own judgment. Because when I started, I thought they were all very no, but they uh yeah, you know, people went through struggles. People maybe changed countries. Maybe breakups, maybe grief. And you'll see people resonate, even if it's a bit. So you'll be surprised how much own judgment.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Yeah, I think if you create like what we're trying to do is what I'm trying to do is create self-awareness in the listener through the guests. And like you were saying, like what you and you went really into it after your tough time, if people just start asking that we, if we and what we do, just get them to start creating questions in their head, and then that leads to one thing and another thing and another thing.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

Because there's so many paths to self-awareness.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

And if you're a curious person, it endless.

SPEAKER_02 44:32

It's endless.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

It's a passion, it's a passion for life. I'm so grateful to have it.

SPEAKER_02 44:36

Do you know the one thing I've like, yeah, yeah, I exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Because you're never gonna get rid of it in a way like it's yeah, it's never ending, and it keeps you alive. Happiness for all life.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Yeah, I know. I was I was thinking, I think I did a post about it that I in a way I've I've been envious of people that can just go do, do do, do do, do do, retire, die. And I'm just like, it's just not in me. It makes my stomach go funny. Maybe but everyone's different, that's okay. But I'm maybe but I was gonna uh go to a different uh section a second. Because you said about you never done the drug side of it, didn't you?

SPEAKER_00 45:06

Never.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

Yeah, I haven't.

SPEAKER_00 45:08

I even can't like it. It's very no for me.

SPEAKER_02 45:11

But I've had a couple of guests that have spoken about mushrooms, natural, yeah, and uh DMT. Do you know anything about any of those two things?

SPEAKER_00 45:18

DMT, no idea even what it means. But mushroom. What I am good at is what I told you before.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

Like I'm gonna bring her next week because she's done a full analysis. She's she's looked into it all.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

But this is exactly what they do. I do look into it. Yeah, no, you are. That's why it's like the chakras thing I said before. I do look into it, but it's like I check with me. I'm ready, grounded.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

Do I want for ayahuasca and them things, and I don't think it's that aligned with me.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

For example, it's like becoming a monk, this kind of thing. I really want to live more like a daily, normal life. Enjoy the experience of being on earth. Yeah, being a human around humans, like what you're doing. You're curious about human stories. I like more this, so that's why I started social media in a way, I think your question before, in a way more of a soul purpose, because I like to express myself in an artistic way. Obviously helping me people, but my main aim probably is more into the artistic rather than the psychological, maybe coaching. Maybe at some point I coach or mentor somehow, but it's more about me expressing and people resonating. More about this, more about documenting your own self-awareness journey almost. Or create. I love creating just for the sake of creating. I just love going to coffee shops, spend an hour and a half with a nice coffee, nice view, and just writing stuff.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

Yeah, that's good. So you write.

SPEAKER_00 46:35

Whatever that we go by.

SPEAKER_02 46:37

Or even I love those.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

So that's why.

SPEAKER_02 46:40

So that's what they come from. They come from not to post. You don't write them to post. No, it's not fun-driven. You're literally just going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 46:47

That's why I know it's gonna be a passion for life because I I I like the craft. And then it will give I know that if a person is passionate about the process, it will give you byproducts.

SPEAKER_02 46:59

That's that universe.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

But I'm not attaching to those because I already like the craft, you know? I already like the coffee should be. Isn't that a mind thing?

SPEAKER_02 47:08

Because you think I know if I like go and do this in a line, the things will happen. It's but if I if I think they're gonna happen, they won't happen.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

So that's why people are very strategic, but I know the strategy behind it, but I'm grateful that I like the process. When I like the process, I'm very detached because I'm like talking to you anyway.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

Yeah. So it's great, isn't it? That's what flow stuff.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

Maybe it'll give me more followers. Maybe, but if not, I like the experience today anyway.

SPEAKER_02 47:38

Yeah, because it's creative, it's something that we like we like to do. I like being in flow.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

When you are in flow, you are in presence. And when you're in presence, you're happy. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 47:45

Yeah for me.

SPEAKER_00 47:46

So the more time I'm in flow, the better.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

That's a that's another great message.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

So if I go to a coffee shop, I am one hour and a half writing, spreading my thoughts, maybe thinking, okay, what is this question moving from with a coffee which gives me a little bit of energy? I'm just vibing. And when I'm vibing, I'm happy anyway. And that, paradoxically, gil will give you more people or more uh opportunities to attract the vibe. Because if you just do the post to get a certain outcome, then the post is a bit more performative, robotic, whatever, and then you resonate less. It's like singers. I actually resonate to singers, like you people go to the X Factor and all these places, and it's like, oh, it resonated or it projected with energy. How these judges just these things? It's like when the person is really in flow and they feel it, you project that.

SPEAKER_02 48:36

Honestly, right? I I've learned something from every guest, and today what you've taught me, what I've learning from you, is with in terms of my own expression, creativity, um, and post, because I've been guilty of that sometimes, trying to feel that what they might like or they might want to do, and not within the. It's like both, it's both.

SPEAKER_00 48:58

It's a little bit of both, it's like the yin and yin I said because it's like you do the plan, but also at the same time, okay, relax in the plan.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

Yeah, because hold it lightly. I was told before I started all this by a guy that he's like my guru, Simon, Simon Bailey. I don't know if he watches these or not, but I had one-to-ones with him. And uh and he said, just one bit of advice, Alex, hold it all lightly. And every now and then he comes back into my head, hold it lightly.

SPEAKER_00 49:21

It's like give a have a North Star of a plan. I kind of say like a flexible plan. So I have like chunks or ideas when I'm gonna do 30 things, but I don't do this nine to ten because it's like it's too too rigid that then you don't do the flow that you know and I was meant to hear that today. You'll actually achieve stuff doing this okay, I post today. But then is it aligned to what you wanna do? Is it gonna give you burnout? Because sometimes another thing I wanted to touch on, it's like you work too much. Maybe you someone works too much every day. Do they actually sit with themselves and ask why I'm doing this? Because sometimes you can work loads, but then it leads to burnout. But if the work is truly aligned with your purpose, or for example, for me, going to coffee shops, it may feel like oh, people say like, okay, you do this every day, but it's actually that aligned with my flow that it doesn't feel like super hard hard work. And when it feels like more smart work, is this smart hard work, you do it because it's who you are, is how it's I don't know, it just becomes a part of you that you don't need to even put discipline on it in a way because you enjoy it. It's like a person who likes playing football as a kid.

SPEAKER_02 50:36

Yeah, or swimming, anything, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:37

Anything that, oh, I'm in flow, well, kicking the ball, whatever. It's like you really need to push yourself to do it three days. I mean, of course, maybe at the beginning you're not used to doing this writing in the coffee shows, but then at some point it becomes like a habit. It becomes who you are, you are in flow, and then it's like, okay, maybe not every day. One day I'm really tired, or one day I really want to catch up with a friend, but it's really who you are, so you really come back to it anyway.

SPEAKER_02 51:02

It's great advice. You know? Yeah, it's really good. So your hardware is so neat as well.

SPEAKER_00 51:07

Oh, thank you. Well, so it's like if you really align, that's why you really need to work hard, but the hard work needs to be aligned.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

And how do people do it?

SPEAKER_00 51:17

And then if it's aligned, it's a smart work. Because it feels lighter.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

Yeah, I completely agree.

SPEAKER_00 51:22

It feels lighter for me. So for me, this feels lighter.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

I'm obviously really enjoying myself. What a great thing to do. I'm aligned doing this. But I had to work very hard in the 3D world, if you like. Yeah. Or did I? I don't know. But I my mind couldn't. I took a year off work. I'm having a year off work. And then I went, so not who am I as such, but like, what do I like? I've never had the opportunity, because my life's been 100 miles per hour, to stop and go, what do I like? What is it? So and then this has come about and and and I love it, which is great. But what but not anybody, not everybody was in my situation where I was able to have enough funds to fund me for a year or whatever. But so what advice would you give to people who are let's say they so the missus got misses, kids both work in business, surviving surviving, survival, and they're and they're look listening, watching it's alright for them too, isn't it? She's doing it, she's got no kids and da da da da and he's got da da da da. Yeah, they don't have to kill the kids. So, how how would they how would you say to these people, because they're looking at us two thinking, it's alright for you, for me, and alright for her. Um they don't know who we are and what our past and what we've done to get to where we are. But anyway, but what what advice would you give to people that are in that stressful state? How would they start that uh self-awareness to find out what they align with? How would they know what to align with?

SPEAKER_00 52:38

I would refer to my own 23-year-old self, even though I had no kids at the time, I was really on my own, really, really struggling, no much time to think of this flow. I don't even relate it to that or anything. Oh, yeah. Just thinking, what is that? The masters was paid by my parents, so at the same time, I didn't want to disappoint, like now failing everything, going to another country, fees, pressure everywhere, and then at the same time feeling all these shit thoughts, and it's like I need to move, move. That's why I became obsessed at the beginning, which was healthy, but only for a short time. Then later it wasn't sustainable. But um, I would say right now I'm in a privileged position because honestly, I'm gonna tell you something as well in this sense. I'm gonna have it out of tangent, but uh my engineering uh work, obviously salary, but also stability, gives me so much peace to them meditate or philosophize or you know, feel to philosophy in my mind because I'm I know I'm stable. But so many people who go into creative world, uh like imagine if I just quit my job and do okay, I'm gonna do entrepreneurship. They are still in the surviving, and okay, they create because they have to, but I create from a non-attachment way.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

It's not linked to earnings, your rent, your bills.

SPEAKER_00 53:54

Yep, so it's like advantage and disadvantage. I have less time, but the time I have is very flowy, is very real, authentic, as you saw my post. It's not like trying to impress. So then it connects. So it's kind of advantage and disadvantage. Some people they have all the time in the world, but they they are more surviving because they need the rent, the money for the rent. So I'm gonna, you know, I like sticking in my both worlds. I like this balance that it gives me. When I'm in one, okay, I I love the stability it gives me to do the other one. So it's I I love that. And for people who don't have this and are in a position like very struggling with different priorities in life, I would say just take five or ten minutes, five or ten minutes of meditation. Because at that point, if you start only five, you can start with even three, but I would say five. Five to ten. If you start doing that consistently as you brush your teeth, like habit, firstly, it's gonna be force. You need to do this force by force, discipline, like 3D. You cannot like just start. Okay, some people can, but I would start by force, I'm gonna be honest. And then after certain two, three weeks, whatever it becomes easier, you keep going. Even though you don't think it's gonna give you results. The point is gonna be like you start feeling much more in control of your anchor self, you observe your thoughts like TV channels, as we say, in our clouds, then you can make more informed decisions, even though life seems like a struggle.

SPEAKER_02 55:19

Fast.

SPEAKER_00 55:20

You feel much more grounded, you make better decisions, and also meditation at some point it becomes a bit spiritual. And I have I'm gonna link this too because meditation after I won't say after a month, but after several months I meditated, you start to get intuitive insights and you don't know where they're coming from. That's why when I was like 25, I couldn't resonate with many people because it's like I'm meditating and suddenly I see my thoughts here, but then something comes, but it's not a thought. An idea or but or I realized it wasn't a thought. It's more like a knowing.

SPEAKER_02 55:52

A knowing, yeah. A very from source, don't they?

SPEAKER_00 55:56

From source, yes. But is you realize thoughts are these channels these channels, these clouds, you get used to seeing them. Okay, you get used to meditation, whatever, whatever. Maybe after four months you start seeing another entity, not a thought. And then it's like, what is that? And then it grounds you, but it's not like a crazy thing. Normally, intuition, it's more like that decision is right, or something like that. It's very calm and it's like it starts guiding you. So it's like I would say mindfulness and meditation was like my portal to all of this because it gets you grounded, you observe your thoughts, it's just five, ten minutes a day, but it's not gonna give you quick results in a week. It's not a pill or what it's like. You keep practicing, it's like going to the gym. Marcel grows, but then at some point you'll realize, oh my goodness, I have so much strength. Or oh my goodness, I have so much mental strength. That's the meditation bit. And then at some point you make better decisions, and then at some point you have even better intuitive, like, I think it's gonna be this way. So I would just five, ten minutes.

SPEAKER_02 56:59

It's the same advice I would give. It's exactly the same advice I would give.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

Not much, but just focus on that.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

I know it's hard to put that trust into it. Sometimes not even months, sometimes quicker, but the observing thoughts definitely could be. And everyone's different. Like they if when people start to look into these things, I I think mine was I went to uh have a my mum said, go and have a Reiki session. And I went to have Reiki.

SPEAKER_00 57:23

Yeah, I could do that right now. I've never done it, but I think I'm we're ready.

SPEAKER_02 57:26

Like, have you have you had Reiki?

SPEAKER_00 57:28

I've never, I've never, but I think for that. I can give Reiki now.

SPEAKER_02 57:30

I've done the attunie thing.

SPEAKER_00 57:31

How did you find it?

SPEAKER_02 57:32

I love Reiki. I give it to myself.

SPEAKER_00 57:34

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

So if you're just sitting there, just you can just give it to yourself, it's just it's the energy that's already there, and it's just channeling that energy is the thing behind it. Nice. But Reiki is also mindfulness because it's yeah, just for today. The start of the Reiki mantra is just for today, like just be.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

So exactly. We use different paths, but maybe the same thing. And that's what I was getting at.

SPEAKER_02 57:51

It's it's different paths because like you said about the 3D world, it was I was hammering 3D entrepreneurial books and business and da-da-da. And then slowly it sort of just go into the the spiritual side and so the I suppose the message to the people is just start.

SPEAKER_00 58:06

Start with small bits because at the beginning I didn't trust any of this. And of course I wasn't a mum or anything, but I had so many pressures at 23 in a way like probably my self-esteem.

SPEAKER_02 58:15

Yeah, I'm asking you to justify it. I'm just I'm just trying to imagine it from their perspective.

SPEAKER_00 58:18

No, but honestly, um at that point my life was my day was full of negative thoughts, like dark thoughts in a way, like yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:25

Yeah, I'm away from my country, I'm doing the hardest thing I could study.

SPEAKER_00 58:28

Um loads, no, but loads like intrusive thoughts. People can resonate with that, like high anxiety. So I had high anxiety, like honestly, it was a dark moment in my life. So that's why during that day, I was like holding on that five, ten minutes with a trust that I don't know where I took this trust. I just rely on that counselor, it's like too much. And I'm happy I did that for my open-mindedness, like, help me, just trying to do it.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

The right person at the right time.

SPEAKER_00 58:56

Yes, and having the open-mindedness and humility to say, like, yeah, I don't know how to do this. I've never done this, I don't trust anyone, I'll trust you. And put the hand like this because some people would go, like, uh, he's Did your parents and family knew you were going you were it was this bad or but they couldn't understand, of course.

SPEAKER_02 59:11

You did they know? Did you try?

SPEAKER_00 59:12

They no, they they knew I was going through a bad time, but definitely they couldn't relate. They cannot even relate now. I mean, a little bit better because now I'm obviously a different person, so it influenced the family as well.

SPEAKER_01 59:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:24

But at that time they couldn't relate. They've been living a different life.

SPEAKER_02 59:29

Are they um Catholic?

SPEAKER_00 59:30

Uh yeah, but not very like.

SPEAKER_02 59:32

Yeah, but you know, like Italy. It's it's based around Catholicism.

SPEAKER_00 59:36

I didn't rely in faith. I was more like the engineering scientist, whatever. Yeah, no, no, not for you.

SPEAKER_02 59:40

I mean that, but this is.

SPEAKER_00 59:40

But now I trust, of course. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 59:42

And did what what's your view on religion?

SPEAKER_00 59:44

I would say it's a spiritual path to reach to certain things, but I would say it's a very organized spiritual path. So I I'm not consider myself very religious. I consider myself more like consciousness spiritual. So I would respect all religions. Like my bringing up, bringing up, bringing up yeah, my childhood was influenced by all the Catholicism, but I don't, you know, I don't judge of their religions. It's like kind of I think they are all the same in different ways because they are too far apart, different cultures, different mom um, you know, geographical areas. So it's kind of coming to the same truth from different lens, but they are all similar in a way. But I would trust more going inside the inner world, because it gives you the spiritual path more than the outside religion. Even though I like some of the rituals and some of the things are great, like for example, I don't know, the prayer is is is universally. It's like a meditation. But for me, at that point, I didn't trust my thoughts or anyone, and I was more a bit like agnostic in a way, like a scientist. I was like, okay, I'll trust maybe my meditation from myself more than what this Bible study or this other book is telling me. Now, what I do is what you probably appreciate by this talk. I will read anything, I will explore, and then I realize now all are similar. So I could read a bit of the Bible, a little bit of the Quran, a little bit of the Torah, and they are saying similar things.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

A lot of meditation, manifestation, uh in different ways. Yeah, different ways, like you know, we what's the yeah, we repeat the words until it happens, and they're all quite similar.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:24

The Alan Watts uh uh influence is like about Western uh Western, Eastern philosophy is like it's all the same in a way. Some people call it manifestation, even scientists call it now like quantum beeps and quantum. So it's just it's all this thing. I mean So I have a quantum as well, eh? Do you? A quantum like a book about Einstein. So it's like I am very How do you explain this one then?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

Because I've never actually spoke to someone about this properly. You know that when you observe, is it the atoms? When you observe them, they act differently to when you don't observe them.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:56

So it's like attention. It's like what they said about.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

You can explain that one though, properly, because I know what I mean, but just you know you'll know more what I mean. It's like what was that experiment, the famous experiment?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:05

Well, I don't exactly know the famous experiment, but I can the concept, the concept is like you, as the observer, can like kind of change or manip well not change, but yeah, manipulate reality in a way. Obviously, there are objects here, it's a microphone, but if you go in depth, in depth, in death, in death, atoms, and then you know that it's like they can behave in different ways. And sometimes when you observe, they are moving, like it's a wave, sometimes it's a particle. So it's like the observe has an effect. It's like what I said about the thoughts and observer effect. So it's like really linked to the attention because you go now after like in a more high level, not this experiment. You go through life and you uh train your attention to do certain things, you see different things. Even like a really analogy, like very 3D practical for people. I work in an internship in a bank, and I was an engineer, but I work in a bank, I was very lost during this 23, 24. Didn't know what I was doing, I do in meditation, but I need to work somewhere. I stopped studying, I need to earn money, do something. I've never worked in a bank, I've never um I've never, you know, focused on banks in the street in my city. Suddenly, I started working in a bank the first week. I saw all banks. And that is a big thing. And when I was experimenting with my mind, it's like, why now I'm seeing all the bank ATMs, all the bank offices before all my 23 years living in the same city in Oviedo in in Spain, it's called Oviedo. Uh I've never seen any because you are not focusing on that. So the same attention train is like the observer effect to when you see the atom, you know, the particle or the wave. So it's like you are influencing what you are seeing.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:52

It's amazing, huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:53

It's amazing, and the science is proving that through quantum.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:55

Yeah, this one that I saw.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:56

Mechanics, and then I am proving that just in experience. You you start doing you know, for don't think of a pink elephant and you start thinking about it, yeah. Or for example, your um daughter or someone close to you has uh an illness or a situation different to everyone else, you start seeing this sound in many areas because your subconscious is now prime with that. And so to um your reality is confirmation bias.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:22

That's it. I remember you said it in the city.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:24

And now it's psychology, so that's that's how I see myself. I mix different things.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:28

So you when you're challenging yourself and you because in your mind, you're you're proving to yourself your confirmation bias. Is that part of your self-challenge? Yeah, definitely. Right, both, post, post, post, post, post.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:38

So it's like uh, for example, if uh if I say this morning, uh oh, uh I was a bit nervous, to be honest. But if I keep saying I'm nervous and nervous, I'm gonna be nervous. But then obviously, I was a bit nervous and no nowhere near perfect, but uh obviously as anyone, but this nervousness, you can start reframing it and saying to yourself, now my analytical narratives comes into play. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:03

Like I was gonna say that, yeah, excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:05

And then you start seeing how excited and grateful you are in a podcast today, the first podcast ever.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:10

So she was tired as well, she didn't get much sleep.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:12

Yeah, less than five hours.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:14

Yeah, you straighten the flow. You're good.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:16

So uh actually, you as an observer, as we were saying in the quantum mechanics, also in the confirmation bias, also in the reality that you know, bank and banks everywhere, you actually change what you're seeing.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:28

So challenge yourself. That's a good message to everybody. Again, another message. Challenge yourself, think of something and see how many you see. It's playing, yeah. I like that. The same theme running through this this chat is that, isn't it? Hold it lightly. It's like a scientist. Yeah, and having that hold it lightly. Just so this that can be a challenge if I was watching this. Think of something and see how many you see that week. And just the week after, do something that's actually gonna change your life. Exactly. And then push it.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:54

I was like thinking, okay, the uh now this week I'm gonna focus on actually it said these things as that's why I say. Scientist mindset, you just proof the hypothesis. And then it starts working, and it's like, okay. And then it's like, okay, I'm a great um public speaker. And then suddenly, oh, TEDx is big. And it's like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:11

Well, you even probably spoke about the TEDx, because that's a massive achievement.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:14

So it's like, I actually told myself I am good at speaking.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:17

What I want to ask you about the TEDx. Let's go back to the TEDx. Um I was going to say something just before that then. Oh, I forgot now. Anyway, yeah, the TEDx thing. Yeah, really spoke about that. It was amazing. Yeah. Obviously, I watched it, it was really good. Oh, thank you. Um, and so how did you how did that happen? How did the TEDx talk happen?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:37

I'm gonna say a little bit manifesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:39

Oh, that's what I was gonna say, wait there. Sorry to interrupt you. I've remembered quite a bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:42

But everything is manifesting, really.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

She she said, I didn't know this, she manifested, she manifested, she wrote down, I want to appear on a podcast, didn't you?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:52

And then I contacted her.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:53

Like three days after.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

What is the in fact it's obvious? If you're in this world, it's it's pretty obvious, but like I said, it's still you still have a childlike wonder and think, isn't that amazing though, don't you? Yeah, definitely. You never go get over.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:04

No, you don't take things for granted.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:06

Yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:07

Because at the moment I was writing, I'm gonna, you need to have these two energies. So I'm gonna apply to podcasts, and I was already doing the work to apply to thinking, okay, what I can pitch the podcast, like, okay, the who I am, like you know all this hard energy, and I'm just and I'm just gonna like you. No, but that's how it works. But you need to put a little bit of well, a little bit or a lot of work, you need to be proactive through life, and then life responds to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:32

It matches that's how I feel.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:34

So in manifesting uh the TEDx. Yeah, go back to TEDx now. Sorry, yeah. I would say like I started two, three years ago posting on social media. Then I started posting more seriously, then I started going through events like in my city in Bristol. I live in Bristol. What events like events about content creation, but just proactively, you know, pushing life. Like it's what everyone is.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:58

So you got experts telling you how to do it and things or what do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:01

Not that much, like just connecting with other people, like a networking event. Getting in this work, we gotta get it in this world because the engineering world vibe. Yeah, I knew a lot of engineering networking, I work in an engineering company, but the other thing is like I'm doing this alone, like who are people like creative people in my community? So by doing that, you are pushing life towards that direction. And then at some point I grew like I researched the TEDx application process, whatever. I was researching TEDx a lot. And then in 2022, 2023, and then suddenly in 2024, a year after, in the coffee shop, I was going every day suddenly a leaflet of TEDx speakers this Saturday. No, not wanted. It was it was a long process. It was like a manifestation, it's not always very fast. It's like you need to trust timings. So it's like when you're ready to hold it, to be honest. So then I received the leaflet and it's like, oh, a TEDx uh TEDx uh event. I will go because I love TEDx speaker, just seeing them, you know. But then I got so proactive, even asking them about after their talks. It wasn't my TEDx, it was other people TEDx. But then after the talks, we're like, oh, so you're interested in I said, Yes, I create social media like very like childlike. Oh, I'm saying not with no strategy or anything, and then suddenly these people redirected me to other platforms with other people for the next TEDx. And then I started applying. They knew me from these people, and it's like rolling moment. And then obviously I passed interviews and everything, but it was all very connected.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:34

That I don't know, I just started When you wanted to do that, did you know what you wanted to speak about? No.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:40

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:41

That's brilliant. Did you just know you wanted to do it?

SPEAKER_00 1:09:43

No, you just go genuine to people. I was in a TEDx talk and TEDx event, listening to other speakers, and I was admiring them. So I was genuinely after their talks, congratulating them, asking them things and stuff, and saying to them, Oh, I wish I would do that in the future. Next year I did that. So I wish I was like, oh, I wish I admire you so much, whatever. And they told me you can do that. They saw my social media and it's like, you can grow this, and they gave me boost. And after that, TEDx talk, I was like much more confident. So it's like all of these.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:16

When you were in the interview processor, did they ask you what you were going to do? What subject is that?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:20

Yeah, once then after that event that people boost my energy, the speakers, because they saw my content and they thought, like, yeah, definitely you can apply for it if you so then after maybe four, six months after that event, I applied. And then you need to give a strong idea, three, four sentences or two, three, four sentences, like with a good like hook. And then after that, they call you or not, and then you have several phases. You have a phase of a five-minute speech, then you have to give them a workflow of a structure, not very structured, like engineer-wise, but like kind of an idea. Okay, I'm gonna start with this, I'm gonna talk about in that moment, is like algorithms, a bit of science, then I'm gonna be more about shadow work, Carl Jun, and then at the end, some conclusion empowering people. And they like it, and they move me through the fourth stage, which is like 10-15 minutes talking about it and people judging me, asking me questions. And then I went through the last stage, which is like, okay, we're gonna talk here for an hour and uh challenging you with questions like there was a jury. So then I pass all of that and then I started with a speaker assistant and doing all the draft and that's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:24

Because they need to, because they've got such a strong reputation.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:26

Yeah, that's why they've got to make sure. My ego like it as well. Yeah, exactly. My ego in a sense, like no, no, in a good sense. It's like it's aligned with my sole purpose, but the ego is helping me. It's like, okay, this is very reputational-wise. I'm an engineer, starting this creative spiritual that maybe no one trusts. Okay, TEDx. Let's go for it. Why not?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:47

Brilliant. So and you have to learn that you because um I couldn't say I couldn't tell watching it. Were you reading it anyway? No, no, no. You memorized that.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:55

You actually, that's one of the hardest things. I was about to say that. Because now I'm in flow and I can say that. I'm definitely in flow. Enjoying it so much. Um, I don't know if it's visible, but definitely I am. But the TEDx is a very uh I didn't know that before.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:10

Because hard would you repeating it every day, every day, every day.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:13

Yeah, because in my reels or anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:15

Did you write it all?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:16

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

You had help writing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:17

No, no, no. I wrote it all. They have like an editor to help you because it's a platform that is not your own Instagram. So you cannot say certain things because it's owned by them. So there's someone, imagine if you say something very, very controversial or whatever, political or whatever. Maybe they cut it. I mean they didn't cut anything to me, but they gave me some okay, maybe this paragraph may be at the beginning, but they didn't change what I was writing. But they do have editors and assistants for the speakers to help them because it's branded. So that company is, you know, you need to be aligned. It's not like me posting on my social media whatever I want.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:57

Yeah, TEDx has been watched a lot. I did some stats. It's been watched 22. The TEDx videos have been watched, not yours, but maybe yours one day. 22 billion times. Work 22 billion times. It's massive, TEDx times. That's why it's massive.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:09

That's why they need to put some structure there so they cannot say whatever is a company at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:14

So you repeated it every day until you got it. How long time frame did you have? What time frame did you have?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:19

Yeah, I have to tell I use a lot of like both brain strategies, neuroscience, and spiritual strategies to do the speech because it's like 18-20 minutes speech by heart, which is something that I don't practice at all in my content. I'm very spontaneous, I'm hearing flow. Or if it's writing, I just write and then I post it later. But 20 minutes without script or anything, and then I thought, I'm not gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. And then I talked to the assistant saying, I'm gonna say different things out of tangent, maybe changing words. And she told me, No, no, you cannot now say whatever things. This is a branded company. I mean, what we've written here, you need to say more like 90%, exactly. So I was a bit like coarse, in a sense, like my mind was a bit like pressure. So what I did, of course, was like learning by heart, like everyone would say, forcing a bit, but then also maybe recording myself and while doing other activities more in flow, even just going to the gym, I would listen to myself. Yeah, then also a lot of affirming is what I told you about manifesting. Affirming that's what I was looking for. Like confirmation bias, affirming myself that I am a good speaker.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:29

That's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:29

And I probably didn't believe it that much, but as I did the prep, is what I told you, you need to trust timings because maybe a year before I wasn't ready. But the that year I already prepped myself with a lot of reels, more followers. So I was thinking, okay, I'm quite good at this. Even in the engineering world, I present easily to hire people. So maybe I'm good at this. So I that trusting the timing, that was exactly my timing last year.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:56

I say I can't because we were definitely in flow state because every time I think in my head, I want to go back to that, you then say it every time.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:02

Perfectly, we are in sync.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:03

Yeah, because I was I was gonna I was gonna take you back to that, um, which was because you touched on it dead quick, and then you went over it, which was I was gonna say to people, is with this either spiritual world, learning, self-development. Sometimes I've been on a journey where you've done something, and they've gone on a retreat or something or other, and then I've just done nothing about anything. And then all of a sudden, bang, another urge comes in to do something else, or or your manifestations, you're manifest trying to manifest something in your head or what you want.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:29

But he But the timing isn't right. No, the time manifestation is a little bit trusting as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:33

Yeah, the timing is, and then when something does happen, you look back in my past, the things that have happened, I know looking back, that was the right time. And if it was when I wanted it three years earlier than that, that wouldn't have been the right time. But you don't know that until you look back.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:46

Do you? I went to this uh That was a really important point that I was gonna come back to that you just exactly so 2024, I went to the TEDx event for other speakers, and I felt obviously inspired, obviously like, oh, I want to do this one day, but I wasn't ready, probably a little bit insecure yet, probably putting the speakers a bit more in a pedestal that I should. So maybe if they gave me the the acceptance and approval to do my speech, it wouldn't have gone well.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:12

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:13

But maybe that six months after that stage and that the stage, that event, and these speakers in 2024 boosting my confidence, then me doing more and more reels, my confidence grew. These TEDx speakers were kind of let's put angels, but it's like people that appear in my life that okay, you can do this, strangers, but sometimes very good strangers appear in your life to just boost your confidence. So I thought maybe not 2024, but then in 2025 I was ready.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:41

Brilliant. It's so it's so cool. And what was gonna say to that about that? Oh, what was gonna say Oh that was it? Was it was there was it a many people, a physical because you can't really tell, is it?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:50

I mean, no, you can really I mean it wasn't the biggest um like salon, like yeah salon, but it was around 200-300 people.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:57

Yeah, it's enough. Yeah, it's enough.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:59

Yeah, but because I'm used to speaking. Ah, that's another thing I really need to practice on that. Like apparently, there is different techniques.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:07

Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Yeah, what is it?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:08

People like look at three people or up. But I kind of trusted that for me the hardest point is the beginning. Then I get into flow, and I'm I'm I'm gone and I'm good. All I need to do is learn it very, very, very well. And then I trust it that when I'm in flow, I am just gonna deliver very well. The first 30 seconds for me are key essential. So if you really know very well the 30 seconds, ground yourself, maybe breathing, like your other guest said, or in my in my in my experience meditating before. Just not seeing many people, not going with all the stress, with all the speakers, like it's it's gonna be now the event, I'm stressed. No, no, don't jump into this narrative of I'm stressed. Just go maybe for a walk, sit in a bench near uh near where you are gonna present, not go too far, but just alone, maybe just you know, trying to calm down, and also body language as well help me because when you are sitting in a calm state, your brain experience that as safe. So don't do this, don't do just okay, consciously saying, okay, I'm gonna sit this way, and then my brain is gonna relax because if I sit this way, yeah. You know, the physical is again playing with the mind. The physical way that you do things gives feedback to the brain if you are safe or not. So if you speak very like like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:32

And you stood up for it, obviously, weren't you? So you do what did you did you think what I'm gonna do with my hands and that sort of thing?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:37

No, it's expressiveness, a bit of Mediterranean, but but for example, in the TEDx, the two hours uh before the the speech, I was going like for a walk on my own, not very fast, very slow, then in my in events, like delivering that, but trying to observe my body language to say like okay, I'm calm here, trying to ground myself, and this helped me massively. When I went into the stage, the 30 seconds were crucial. If I move past that, I'm good. And I moved past that and did you present to anybody first? You know, I don't even remember my TEDx talk.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:12

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:13

That's why the flow state happened.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:14

Have you watched it?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:15

Yeah, of course I watched it, but yeah, the flow state gives you this, like sometimes you just But how come you were nervous with this then if you've done a TEDx talk? It's a different vibe. If it's the first time as well. Maybe the next uh podcast I'll be fine, but it's just the first time you do anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:29

The first one would be the best one because you're completely flow. You know what?

SPEAKER_00 1:19:32

Another feedback for uh you know, another advice for anyone who is who is watching this is like doesn't matter how much you do, the first time of something it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:41

It's gonna naturally get a start.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:43

Yeah, because maybe simpler or is gonna be post-production in towards this, the TEDx was like life, which is uh Yeah, it's different. But I don't know. I've maybe for me as well, being seen deeply by one person is as well challenging.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:58

Yeah, because obviously they have the vibes created.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:00

And then yeah, the TEDx, no one is gonna really ask you. Or no one is gonna really look. I mean, they look at your message, but then no one's gonna be like that. So it's a different challenge. So I don't like them. You know, sometimes the connection with one person and feeling singling with one person is more challenging than being in a group of ten and saying three things.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:18

So true. And obviously, as you can confirm, there's no pre-planning for this podcast. I don't write anything down. I don't know. Definitely not. And isn't it amazing how it just flows? Isn't it amazing? You've been amazing. I've gone over time again. Um but I want to before I want to this only a new thing I've started doing, just for a bit of fun. So I want to ask you, there's three things I'm gonna just before we finish, okay? Okay. Okay, one is just what's your opinion on numerology and astrology?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:45

I trust them, but I do. I'm I'm a very open-minded person. It's what I told you. I didn't go too much into it myself yet, but maybe at some point I will.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:54

Have a look.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:55

Because I truly believe astrology is nothing, even though it goes back so don't tell me stars, I'm gonna guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:59

Um it goes back so far, astrology, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:02

I mean, as an engineer in my engineer brain, I don't trust it, but my other brain is like keep open. Let's see, don't dismiss anything. That's how my brain goes.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:11

I had a guest on uh Naomi, she owns um an astrology-based rum.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:16

I could definitely look at it.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:17

Cause it rum. Um but she mentioned numerology. So from when I interviewed her, I started looking to numerology, which I've not really looked into. And the numerology side is blows your mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That Gary33 on um on Instagram, if you have a look.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:32

Really?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:32

It's some of the things that he just he just constantly keeps saying, he's a bit, he's very eager, very, you know, but he he keeps saying, when is when is when has it stopped being a coincidence when I keep giving you facts about numerology? And he keeps giving these facts and it is incredible.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:46

Um like your life path number and your bits and your barbs and no but it's not I don't believe really in coincidences.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:52

Yeah, it's just so much a pattern.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:54

It's a pattern, like it like it's like the playing with the mind. I mean, obviously, you if you don't look into things, everything is like a lack or coincidence, but there is engineer. You can engineer this lack, or you can engineer these things behind. Some people don't do it because they are an autopilot. I do it to a certain extent, but not manipulative, just you know, more like okay, I know what's what's gonna help me through this podcast, maybe this morning the nerve, so I think okay, I'm gonna turn it into excitement. Like helping, not ego-based. That's very, very important. When you try to manipulate life, ego-based, but it came it comes across, I think, energy-wise that you feel like someone is performative. We were saying before. Like I try to be led by my soul and my heart, but obviously the ego and the mind are the tool to help me get there. Like, okay, I'm gonna do the TEDx talk. So it's my ego involving perseverance, preparing the things, be better, impress the judges, whatever. But at the same time, there is a bigger purpose towards the TEDx talk. It's not just the TEDx talk, it's what is gonna be the message of the TEDx talk. So it's like the bigger picture.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:01

So sometimes, yeah, I think I don't know what I was asked about.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:05

Imagine how it's so flow, you're so flow, aren't you? But I'm gonna guess your star sign and get it wrong. You ready?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:11

Yeah, get it wrong, probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:12

Do you know what, do you know, don't tell me, do you know what your rising sign is as well? Because I mean there's two star signs, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:17

No, but I just know my earth sign right now. But I I have to say what I told you, like, I definitely look into these things.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:24

Yeah, so your rising sign. Look into you when you leave here, you've got some homework, it's numerology.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:29

And moon sign as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:30

But mainly the two. For example, I'm a Pisces.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:34

So Oh, you look like a Pisces.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:36

I look like one. So it's just quite uh deep thoughts and these sort of things. And then my other sign, my rising sign, is Aquarius, which is when I'm happy to interesting, which is why I'm happy to. I've got a quirky personality, I can speak to millions of people, I'm not bothered, and those sort of things. Um and I am a mix of both of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:52

I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:52

It doesn't make me who I am, but it's just the traits of both those signs are in me. Um as I learned, look, looked into show.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:59

Actually, I I I know little, but I'm very open to new things, so that's why I'm happy to listen to all of this. But for example, the rising sign, I know it's kind of how you appear in the world, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:10

It's something like that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I am the I'm both. You're I am.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:15

You are like you have three attempts, mate.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:19

Yeah, okay, go on then. Yeah, that's fair, isn't it? Because it's 12.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:22

For the air sign, the rising sign, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:24

I think you uh in my head, I was going with don't do a facial expression, okay?

SPEAKER_00 1:24:29

Okay. Try to do poker face, but as a Mediterranean, it's very difficult, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:33

You went to like a yeah, go on then. Um in my head, I was it's a mix between, but that's why you I think I need to know I needed you to know your rising sign. Okay, I'll listen to later. Yeah, you have to yeah, text for later. Because it in my head, I was looking at Capricorn, Pisces, Aquarius, Scorpio, and I was mixing with these four, and I didn't I didn't know where to go with them. Um but if you don't know your sign, because I I could at least get the rising sign if it wasn't your main sign. But you could even be Gemini. Um just because of the two like you got the um I'll hang my hat on Rockan. I'm gonna go Capricorn.

unknown 1:25:14

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:14

Aquarius? Was any of them right? No. Unbelievable. I bet you want your rising sign. I told you I'm very paradox. Unless your rising sign is.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:23

Maybe my sign. You have to let me know. Maybe my racing sign is. It's one of those four. Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:27

And then when this comes out, I'll let you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:29

It's Virgo.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:30

Is it Virgo?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:31

I wasn't off so off with that.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:33

Yeah, because probably it was more my it was more similar to before 23. I was more very Virgo, and now it's like, oh, a paradox. But maybe my racing sign is some of this.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:44

I need to know. I have to know. Will you text me, please?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:46

And Virgo.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:46

Yeah, you can go on to um that's the thing with with AI nowadays, it's kind of destroying things. Because you can just go into Chat GBT and just it'll just tell you everything. So you don't, you know, these astrologers and things. Yes. You've got it, you can do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:59

A good prompt and then Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:01

Um, okay, last question. Okay. It's a new one that I've been adding in as well. So the first question, which is who are you? Which you answered very well with the paradox and and and those sort. And you also answered it well with by saying Depending on who's asking. I like that, yeah. That was good.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:16

I really like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:16

Yeah, that was a good answer. So this question is I think it's kind of equally as hard as let's see. What do you want?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:28

What do I want? Like want.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:30

What do you want?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:33

I would say experience life fully.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:36

What does that look like? Okay, but what does that look like then? I'm gonna push you, I wasn't gonna let you off the hook.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:42

So people would say happiness or joy. I think fully experience life because I believe in the duality of experience. Like actually, I think if I experienced only one emotion or only happiness, I couldn't appreciate anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:59

So you really need Don't manifest that because that means it could be bad things.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:02

No, what I mean is like you really need the full spectrum of life to understand life, and I would say I want to keep being grounded and having this presence to be healthily detached to obviously big emotions or anything. But I really want to experience life in all the joys, but also feel the emotions of if it's a hard moment. I like to feel obviously not to the depths of the sadness, but uh, why would I feel very joyful if it's something very, very hard going on? Maybe feeling a bit of sad, but then you appreciate other things. So it's like having a full human experience and continue with this curiosity and presence in life, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:40

It's the biggest gift. Good answer. Thank you so much. I've run over. No, I always run over, but thank you so much. High five.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:48

High five.