Loud Laughter

Mormon M.A.S.H.

• Sophia & Stella

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 | In today’s episode, Sophia & Stella play a round of the nostalgic game, M.A.S.H. But this time, there’s a twist: it’s Mormon edition.

If you’re unfamiliar with M.A.S.H. (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House), it is a predictive story-telling game using patterns of elimination to create an image of your future. Will you live forever in a mansion, apartment, shack, house? Will Provo, Utah be your hometown, or is the Spirit of M.A.S.H calling you to paths that you do not know? 

Is Stella destined for a fruitful future as the Relief Society General President? Can Sophia avoid her fate as a polygamous wife? 

Find out in today’s episode!

Predict your own future using our Mormon M.A.S.H. Template:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VgMCcuYufE9UFQEs7TnjXwkSBeNaIIrjvl9PRKRxPJM/edit?usp=sharing

We want to hear from you! Send us your Molly Mormon moments or other church-related funnies using the “Send us a text” link above, or through our Google Form.

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SPEAKER_01

Hi everyone and welcome back to the Loud Laughter Podcast. Today we're back for our second ever video episode. We're so excited to have you. Yes, thank you so much for joining. And if you haven't seen our first video episode yet, you should totally check that out. It's on our YouTube and it is featuring Nemo the Mormon. Yes, so if you haven't been with us before or you need a refresher, my name is Stella and I'm here with my sister Sophia. And Loud Laughter is a safe space that we've created to talk about some of the funny things that arise within the culture of Mormonism and have a space to have some laughs. So if you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, if you have distanced yourself from the church, you're not sure where you stand, you've left the church, or you've never heard of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka the Mormon Church, before, this is a spot for you. Yes, we are so happy to have you here. And one of the things we like to touch on a lot in the podcast is nostalgia. Um, I feel like there's uh a lot of nostalgic things about growing up Mormon for some reason. Um, so today we're kind of gonna lean into that and we're gonna play a little game that you guys might have played before as kids. I know that I did, and it is called MASH. Stelle, do you want to talk about MASH a little bit? Just what it is if anyone remembers. I think it's bad with game rules, and I forget this like this is literally the easiest game ever, but I kind of feel like when you're at a party and someone's trying to explain the board game rules to you. Yeah. So I can explain the rules. Okay, no, no, no, I can do this, I can do this. So MASH basically stands for mansion, apartment, shack, or house. So basically, it's like a game to predict your future. So you create a list within those categories and whatever other categories you want that's like your future. This is bad. This is bad. This is your future, it's your future, and you put um, so you put like different options for the house, which is where MASH comes from. And then there's like, are you married, single, how many kids do you have, those kinds of things. Then this is where it gets tricky, this is really tricky. You draw like a swirl on a paper, and then the person whose future you're predicting tells you when to stop, and then you count the rings on the spiral, and that is how many you cross off from each list. Is that right? Or no, no, no, not from each list, then you'd have nothing left. You go like every wait, can you we'll do it, we'll show you. It's fine. We'll show you guys. Yeah, me creating a whole podcast of just someone trying to explain the board game rules to you. Oh my gosh, can you imagine? It's like a nightmare. Yeah. So anyway, we're gonna play that game. Yes. So we have created a Google Doc with um the MASH uh what do you call them? Categories that we're going to be drawing from. And um, well, I have been creating this, it's not quite done though, so we might have to add a few more. We're gonna brainstorm through it. Yeah, we're gonna brainstorm, make sure. Yeah. Okay, so good creative energy wherever you're watching or listening to this, listening to this from. Mm-hmm. Okay. So here we are on the MASH document. Here's what I have so far. We have MASH at the top. Like we said, it stands for mansion, apartment, shack house. Where you live. So this is Mormon MASH, okay? So we're just including the most Mormon answers. So the options for where you live are Salt Lake City, Utah, Provo, Utah, Rexburg, Idaho, Southern California, Gilbert, Arizona, or somewhere else. Anywhere else. We should throw on New York City on there just for kicks. Okay, sure. Okay, adding New York City for fun. Okay, then we have your calling. And these are female callings because that's how it is in the church. So there's a long list, but I had to include them all because there's all types of relief society. Yes. Also, the reason that we're doing it just female is because we're doing it for one another. So yeah, these are like our cultures you can get in the church. It's just if you're a woman, these are the ones that you can have. So these are some of them. There's a lot, but oh, I thought you said you put all of them. No, sorry, I didn't put all of them, but I put a lot of them. I was like, dang, okay, okay. No, okay, that would be a ton. But I had to do like there's relief society president, but you can be the ward relief society president, the stake relief society president, or the general relief society president of like the whole church. And that does matter. I thought my whole life I was going to be the general society president. Really? Wow. I was so scared of it. Wow, that's so interesting. Well, we'll see. Maybe you'll get it on your match, and then it's like undeniable at that point. Maybe it's just a lot of responsibility. I know, it really does. Um, okay, so yeah, there's that. There's also young women presidents, ward stake general, primary presidents, ward stake general. Then we have Sunday school teacher, ward choir director, ward organist, or nursery leader. So those are our calling options. And then I also included a job. Okay, these are the Mormon jobs that you can have. You can be a stay-at-home mom, you can be a content creator, you can work for an MLM, or you can do solar sales. Ooh, we're getting progressive. That's the most progressive.

SPEAKER_03

That's the most progressive thing on earth.

SPEAKER_01

You can only do solar sales. No other kinds of sales. No corporate jobs. This is an MLM. This is an MLM. MLM. Um okay, cool. And uh kind of a caveat here. Sometimes like Mormon culture in Utah, Mormon culture becomes synonymous. This is one of those cases where I feel like we're more playing into that. Um we've both lived mostly outside of Utah, but both in and outside of Utah. So they kind of become conflated, but we are aware that this is not necessarily the culture of the church everywhere, um, especially like not internationally. Yeah. But um it is really, really fascinating. So it ends up getting talked about a lot in the media, and we are no exception. So here we are. Yeah, this is more of like a stereotype, archetype, whatever you want to call it, version of Mormonism because it's MASH and so it's silly, and it's not really reality, but it's a fun game. Are you sure this isn't real? Um, I don't know. We'll see if it all comes true. I used to also be like so scared that I would be at BYU like two years into my undergrad with like three kids somehow. Oh, and I was like convinced that that no, like I because that that's not even possible like on the timeline, but I just had this fear of like in six months this will be me. And I was dating someone at the time, and they were like, you know, you can just like not do that, right? And I was like, No, you don't understand, like this is like destined to be. And he was like, This is you can literally just decide if you want to do that or not. And I am not a mother of three kids, and I graduated without getting married or having kids. Yeah, so I need this mash to fill in the blanks for me. What what blanks? Like, I well, I need my whole fate because my whole fate was supposed to be BYU mom. Oh, and now it's not your fate isn't it? And so I need to know my fate. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Okay. Makes sense. Well, we will tell you your fate. So the next category we have is what your husband's calling will be. And I included this because as a Mormon married woman, this actually I feel like affects your life a whole lot. Yeah, it definitely does. More than you might think. Um, because like if your husband is the bishop and you have like five kids, then you're gonna be taking care of those kids by yourself. Good luck seeing him. Yeah. If your husband's like the prophet, you're gonna be traveling around the world with him. You're gonna be speaking at events. So yeah, so the options for your husband's calling. True. Some of them come with like a like a wife's calling. A wife calling? Yeah. Like an unofficial. Um, yeah, so these are the options are prophet, apostle, general authority. Um those are like the biggest church worldwide callings. Um, bishop, elders quorum president, which is like the person who's over all of the um adult men in the ward, the young men's president, a mission president, which would also entail you living somewhere else. Uh and usually being a health coordinator these days. Yeah, and doing a bunch of other things. It's like an unofficial calling that way. Yeah. So if you get that one. Good luck. You got 20 years to become a nurse practitioner. Yeah, basically. Or just get really good at gaslighting people and telling them to take ibuprofen priority. Last two options for husband's calling are primary chorister and Sunday school teacher, which would both be very chill, I feel like. That would be chill. Primary chorister be so. Mostly women do that, but the men who do that, I feel like they always have fun with it. I don't know. Yeah. From what I've seen. Yeah, the um Primar Organization is the children's organization, the church. And so there's a calling where you're the chorister for the kids, basically. And yeah, so anyway, that's what that is. There's this guy in my ward here. He is pretty timid, and he's like a scientist. One day he had to sub uh as the primary chorister, and he like blossomed. Like it was crazy. It was like he turned into like wait, that's cute entertainer. It was so cute. He didn't know. No, it's yeah, the kids loved it so much, and I was like, whoa, I've never seen this side of him. Like, I did not expect it at all. It was so cool. That's really cute. It was cute. Like be a teacher or something. That went so well. That's interesting. Also, for those who are not on video, because we will have this audio available, we're gonna do our best to like explain the options and things. Um yeah. So I'm gonna be able to. We'll explain it when we do it. Um, okay, so then the next category is number of kids. The options I have on here are zero, one to three, four to six, or seven to ten. I feel like those are all sort of different kinds of families, obviously. But so those are all the categories I have right now. But I have some other ideas. Nice. Okay, so I think the next one that we should put in, and I'm gonna be typing this in right now. So if you hear some clicking noises and typing noises, sorry about that. We're doing a two-in-one deal today. It's a BOGO. Um buy one podcast episode, get one ASMR keyboard clicking. I do have a really clicky keyboard, so you'll hear that. Um, okay, let's see. I'm gonna write Mormon genre. So, like what genre of Mormon are you? Um I'm just like subcultures. Yeah, yes, that's in the US. It's like a it's like a Mormon subculture, and we'll be speaking to the US since that's where we're from, but I'm sure that other genres exist that we're not familiar with. Because Mormonism is very expansive. Yes. So the first one we're gonna put oops is Jack Mormon, I think. Yes. Is that one word or two words? I want to say it's hyphenated, but I'm also a real word. Such a fan of hyphenating things. It is a compound adjective, so I think it's hyphenated. Or that actually, Jack Mormon is a compound adjective. It's totally made up word. Okay, so um do you want to explain what a Jack Mormon is, though? Yes. So a Jack Mormon is someone who like doesn't take the rules of Mormonism seriously, but still believes in Mormonism, if I'm correct. So this would be a person who like drinks coffee and also goes to church on Sunday and like is very like culturally in it and also believes it, but just rejects some of the rules. I would that's my yeah, I would say that idea of a Jack Mormon. Then we have yeah, go ahead. Oh, I was just gonna say, I think also sometimes Jack Mormons like aren't even exactly active in the church, like they don't even have to go to church, but like maybe their family's all in it, like maybe they show up every once in a while, but like they basically just do whatever they want, but like their beliefs are Mormon and like their culture mormify like very much with the church. Yeah, and I think that belief is an important distinction because that would differentiate like Jack Mormon from an ex-Mormon that participates in like that also drinks coffee or something, you know. Yeah, yeah, true. So then we have the prepper Mormon. This one really just speaks for itself. Yeah, doomsday preppers, yeah. That's all right. Like we talked about last time. Um, the people that really lean in hard to that, and that's like a subculture of just like Americans, I would say, like conservative Americans. So there's Mormons who really lean into that subculture, I think.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01

And trad wife Mormon. Uh yeah, so I mean, why am I mansplaining what a trad wife is? I think we all know. But um, some famous examples of Mormon trad wives are like Nara Smith, Ballerina Farm. Yeah, very important one. Those are the two like most notable in the media that come to mind, but yeah, I think so. There are a plethora. There is a plethora. Yeah. I think what to me what differentiates like a trad wife from a regular stay-at-home mom is like maybe the cottage core nature, really being into like making homemade food a lot, like the natural kind of farm life stuff. I don't know. And like these days, I think it's also encompassed like women that are more active on social media. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like there's not like a trad wife without Instagram, which like I'm positive is not true, and it's also kind of like a borrowing of anyway, it's like it's really interesting. It's but yeah, it's also an aesthetic. It's a curated aesthetic. So, like, why would I mean maybe some people curate an aesthetic just for themselves, obviously, like home decor or whatever. But like if your whole life is like a curated aesthetic, you're probably doing it for social media. Yeah. So that makes sense. Yeah, and then also trad with along with that, it's like there's this. I'm just going off on a rabbit hole about trad wives. I'm gonna move on in two seconds to help trad wives. Okay. Um, but there's this like hypocrisy with it because they preach like, okay, staying at home, like only your husband works and provides, and you like very much stay at home. But then they also make a lot of money on like ad revenue, and that aesthetic becomes a full-time job, like overtime, way over time. So you're like raising the family and also having this crazy job, but just because but it's all centered at home, and so it like somehow counts as not working. Yeah. Anyway, it's so very interesting. I love like Narismas content, is interesting because you can tell that at least for me, I think like a lot of it is just satirical. Um, and so like because she wears these like very extravagant outfits while she makes like homemade food. And like sometimes if like when she like blows up in the media for you know whatever, like being a stay-at-home mom, then she'll put on like an even more extravagant outfit. I feel like I've noticed. And so I think it's like I think she's doing a bit, but it's really interesting. She's a smart lady if it is a bit. Yeah. Okay, so the next one, next Mormon genre we have on this list is progressive Mormon. So that kind of speaks for itself. Maybe more um progressive, liberal political views, values. Um, I don't know, maybe like if you're like a progressive Mormon woman, maybe sometimes you wear pants to church, which is such a big deal. Um, so yeah, that's a another Mormon genre. Um, can you think of any other Mormon genres I should add to the list, all? I mean, there's always a good old-fashioned Lake Powell Mormon. Well, okay, that kind of also goes into the family vacation category. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we move on to that one? I'm trying to think if there are any more to cover here. Do you think there are? Um, you could do like performing arts Mormon. Oh, that's a good idea. Because there are so many Mormons on like uh just that are like really into the arts or like are very like uh I don't know, good musicians. And there are tons of Mormons on a lot of like reality TV shows like that, like competitive music or dance reality TV shows, dancing with the stars. Like I think majority of their cast is Mormon and from Utah. So yeah, ballroom dance is huge. Like I I would kind of put ourselves in that category, so if you like with our family, because we all like were playing instruments or singing and like performing for people all the time. So anyway, that's another I feel there's a lot of um family music like Mormon family musicians as well, like where like the whole family performs together. Yes, yes we never quite made it to that level because we would argue too much whenever we would try to rehearse. We would argue a lot and then someone someone would usually rage quit at some point. So we never rage quit. It was usually the Osmond's level. It wasn't usually me, but I usually cried. I'm not a quitter, but I'm a crier. Oh, that's like sweet. Cause like you're still in it, but you're just like crying through it. So sad. No, it's okay. It was it was fun. We just like we're all artists, right? Yeah, we all have to be opinionated. Yeah. We are ext- I mean, yeah, we're all very opinionated. I mean, we're on a podcast. Um, so I think that speaks for itself, but our other siblings and parents are no exception. And I wouldn't have it any other way because it makes my life very rich. But it also meant that we didn't make it as a family band. So Yeah, we did not make it. You can find one video of ours on YouTube. I dare you find it. If you go digging. Yeah. Okay, so performing arts Mormon, that is very important. Um trying to think if there's any other ones. Um I don't know. Should we just put like Molly Mormon on there? Yeah. Or is that like I feel like that's pretty telling. Like Molly's Mormon. Does like all the traditional things, like very traditional Mormon, but like nothing like nothing crazy just by the rule, by the book. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good one.

unknown

Cool.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. And then I think it's good. Okay, so next we will do where do you spend your family vacation every year? Um year and I also sort of feel like having a yearly family vacation spot in itself is maybe a Mormon thing, but I don't know. It might be. If you're not Mormon, let us know. If you are a Mormon, let us know. I'm most of the people I know are Mormon. So I'm like, sometimes I'm like, is this a Mormon thing, or is it like, I don't know, because like everyone I know is Mormon. Yeah. So true. Not everyone, but yeah. Okay, so popular Mormon vacation spots. I would say Disneyland. Not enough Mormons going to Disney World. I gotta say, Mormons are sleeping on Disney World. Get on it. Get on it. It's so much better. Guys, guys, picture this, picture this. You go to the Orlando Temple. No, picture this when you you have kids or you picture yourself as a kid. Okay, you go to the Orlando Temple, you do baptisms for the dead. So when you get out of the water, you're cold, but it's like kind of cozy a little bit. And then you're really, really tired. So you go home and you take a nap, and then you go to Disney World for two days. Temple one day, Disney World two days. It's a whole weekend celebration. Yeah. Personal things there. Don't go to Disney World. What? I don't go to Disney World. Do you go to Disney World like now? I went in January. Oh my gosh. But not like people go to Disney World. I was on like a family vacation. I haven't really been to Disney World like by myself. Well, you acted like you're going every other weekend because I said I don't go, and you were like, Well, I meant like it sounded like you were like as a principal. Like no, no, no, no, no, no. I refuse to go as well. I will not be there. No. It was fun. I had fun. It was so fun. That's what I'm saying. But I don't want to be like, oh, everyone has to go to Disney World to have fun. Obviously not. Obviously not. But it is really, really fun. It is fun. Okay, so we got Disneyland. That's the more Mormon. It is closer to Utah, so whatever. Yeah. Um, Disneyland, Lake Powell, as was previously mentioned. Oh, true. Now, this is a lake that's in Utah. It's very beautiful. A lot of people go there to like camp and boat mostly. Um yeah. Yeah. Um, next on the list, the Hilcomora pageant. Oh, lovely. They discontinued this a couple of years ago, but imagine that it's still there right now. Now, the Hilcomora pageant, can you describe it? So Okay, so I've never actually been to the Hilcomora pageant, but I have been to Hilcomora. And the Hilcomora is where Joseph Smith found the plates that were used to translate the Book of Mormon. So basically at that hill, um the church would have a pageant every year. I think it depicts is it depicting the restoration of the church, I think, or is it depicting the Book of Mormon? I I want to say that the Hill Comor is the Book of Mormon one. Okay. Yeah, so it's like stories from the Book of Mormon. Yeah. Um, and like people come and like I think you you like put blankets out on the lawn and like watch it and stuff like that. It seemed really nice. I know. It's kind of like Christmas for the performing arts Mormons, probably. Oh yeah, because couldn't you like get called on like a temporary performing mission to like be in the Hilcomora pageant? Yeah. Yeah. So like I'm not sure. They had some kind of like audition or sign-up process that preceded that. Um I think you had to submit like a video or something. Um I think I looked into it actually before I served a mission, yeah. Um, but they didn't need pianists. They needed like singers and like violinists, you know. More portable instruments and more like kind of like Americana type vibes. That's a good point. Yeah. That's so interesting. Yeah, I never went, I never really aspired to it either, but there was someone that's not you aspired to the Hilcomora pattern. All that glory and fame. I know hard to turn down. But there was a girl that I know, and like she hadn't posted in a while, and then she popped up on Instagram, and it was like it was like full-time missionary, like Hilcomore, and I was like, what? Like just like I saw her like serving there, and I was like, that's not cool. So as a musician, because they also have the position. Oh, okay. Yeah, super interesting. Anyway, so that's the Hilcomore pageant. Um could be a potential vacation spot or a more missionary. Or also just like uh church history tour kind of deal. Sometimes people go on a whole tour of all the church history sites in the area. Us. We did do that. Maybe a little bit. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I um I actually live pretty close to the Joseph Smith birthplace site, which now I think it just has like a monument and a visitor center, but it's in like the middle of nowhere Vermont. So if I'm ever driving to Vermont, there's just like a sign on the freeway that's like Joseph Smith birthplace this way, because there's like nothing else in the area. Sharon, Vermont. Yes, exactly. And we're always like, should we stop? And we're like, nah. We're usually like going somewhere else, but like we pass it. Quick stop, guys. Five minutes. Five minutes, I swear. I know, but yeah, there's like Please let me go with it.

unknown

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's enough to do a whole trip of a road trip of yeah, church history. Yep. So, okay, oh yeah, another uh potential family vacation spot for Mormons would be, I would say, a cabin in the middle of nowhere, Utah or Idaho. Yes, so true. Especially, wait, we need to add another category to our Mormon types of Mormons, and that's the hunting Mormon. Oh, you're so right. Hunting Mormon. Because that like cabin in the woods vibe, that's very hunting Mormon, I feel. Okay, this is funny. I had um in first grade, I had a boyfriend, a quote unquote boyfriend, and he was a hunting Mormon, and I was like morally opposed. I was like, how can he hunt? He's so nice. These are these are big girl um conflicts you're having in kindergarten. No, for real. I had that one with a boyfriend as an adult. Oh, really? That's so interesting. I mean, yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, it's a little more serious, maybe as an adult than as a first grader, because I never really think it's so funny. Because why were you thinking about it? But I was too because um we lived in North Ogden like when we were pretty young. And so in elementary school, like that was like a big part of what we saw. But again, like we had just moved from somewhere else too. And so that I remember that being kind of a culture shock to me, like when I was teeny teeny tiny. True. And then like getting older, and like, yeah, it was like kind of a betrayal to get a crush on someone who you found out was like a hunting family, yeah. Or like there was a girl that I thought was so cool, and she was like, Oh, I just had an awesome weekend. Like, look at this thing that I killed, and it's like her with a deer, and she's like a girl, and I was like, What? Yeah, it's like always them with like their dads holding the deer answer. And then I had a friend whose house I was allergic to. Okay, this is for all the hunting Mormons out there. Not everyone is immune to your deer heads, so I couldn't hang out in some of my friends' houses because of the ads. Isn't that kind of gross? Sorry, anyway. Well, you guys can see why I had a conflict about this in I slapped my knee again. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. But no, on the real, like he like ate everything that he hunted. If we actually were like following sustainable practices, we would all be hunters. True. Again, like we mentioned in the last episode, the way that the Native Americans had the world set up where the food just like passes through and you don't really have to go and seek it out and like hunt the way we think of. Yeah. I'm a broken record. But I just want to say that because everything is nuanced. Welcome to loud laughter. Yeah, it is. Um, I also added Bear Lake too underneath Lake Powell as a vacation spot. And how would you personally differentiate Lake Powell and Bear Lake? Um, as as lakes or like the people who go there? I don't think you can like personally differentiate between them. I think I'm stereotyping.

unknown

Yeah, that's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_01

Meaning like everything has nuances. So just like get to the stereotype faster, please. Oh, okay. So as lakes, Lake Powell is like in the desert. Um, I actually have never been to Lake Powell. I never have. Have you? I have, yeah. Okay, so you know better, but it's like in the desert. There's not as much of like a beach, is there? Like doesn't kind of just like drop down in the water. It's good for like boating. Yeah, it's just like good luck. Yeah. You know what? I've never been to Bear Lake either. I am oh a fake. We're fake Mormons. Fake Utah Mormons. Fake Utah Mormons, anyway. Um but I know they have really good raspberry shakes at Bear Lake. That's what I appreciate. Yeah. Oh, okay, wait. Um, this, like the I want to mention the Lake Powell Mormons again because they are also the Mormons that are prone to doing the tricks that you see, like Benson Boone. Oh yeah. Like this is a really, really important part of the Mormon backflip Mormons. Should I put those on here? Please put the backflip Mormons. Benson Boone, shout out to you. He really put us on the map. Like, people know that Mormons can do tricks now because of Benson Boone. Thank you, Benson Boone. Yeah, so this is kind of funny. When I first met my husband, he showed me so many videos of himself doing backflips. And the funny thing is, like, I just found out very recently that he had only learned how to do a backflip like that week, like the week he met me. So it was like a cool thing for him. He's like, hey, look at this. Like, I just learned how to do a backflip. But at the time, I was like, oh my gosh, like, I get uh, you can do backflips. Like, can we like move on? That is like that is being in Utah. That's like a canon experience. It's like you're on a date with the guy and he shows you videos of backflips, like, you're not the only one. And I'm I want to say, at least it was recent. True. At least it was recent. You can be held captive. No, no, you can be held captive, and I know this because I was once held captive by years of backflip footage. Oh, oh, so yeah, so I'm so lucky. Count your lucky stars. There were only a few videos because he could have been just that excited five years later and put you through far more. Oh my gosh. But that's really cute. And if I could do a backflip, I mean I can do other tricks, and I show people videos of them all the time. I'll be like, hey, look at this video of me. Your tricks are really cool. Thank you. I do circle. So are you a backflip Mormon? I don't think I'm a backflip Mormon because it's different. I still can't do a backflip, that's the only reason. Yeah. But I also don't really identify with that culture. But we'll see what MASH has in store for me because maybe it's all on the table, baby. You are a backflip. Maybe I am a backflip Mormon. My alter ego. Okay, so we got the yearly family vacations. Oh yeah, okay, so then should we put marital status or just like assume that you're married if you're Mormon? Oh, it's a tough one. I was gonna put I wish we had a live audience for this. I know, right? Um, I was gonna put like what temple you got married in. That's a good one. Okay. Um what what do I call that? Married temple? Temple temple wedding, or just like wedding location? Temple wedding location? Temple location. Wait, no, just do generic wedding locations, then we can throw in if you didn't get married in the temple or if you got married by the bishop in the church. Oh, good idea, good idea. Oh, although like wedding reception in the church is also but we're that's like a whole different topic. Okay. Yeah. Okay. There's so much here, you guys. We've tapped into a treasure trove. It's funny though, because like an hour ago, I was like, oh, I don't know if we'll have enough content for this. I know. There it's like never we've already been talking for 30 minutes about it. Yeah. We just like get on here and yeah. We do every time, like, oh, this will be a short one. Yeah. It's like two hours. Okay, so wedding location. First, we gotta have the classic Salt Lake Temple. So true. Um, you could put like what's like a honeymoon destination? Because I always thought I was like, okay, people aren't being smart about this. You get a free wedding venue, go well, oh, go for free for your the price of your tithing, but go to like have like a destination wedding, get sealed, spend the money on your plate, and then just be, you know, like eloping. Yeah, we know a couple who did that. Steal my plan, you guys. Really? Where'd they go? They went to Hawaii. Nice. Yeah. They only had like I think that they had just their family, like immediate family members at their wedding. They got married at the La IA temple, I think. And then they I don't know. So you go straight on your honeymoon. Like, wouldn't that be nice? Yeah. I think that's be done. Should I put the La Ye temple? Let's do like a temple in like Europe or something. Instead of that? Just because I feel like a San Diego temple and a La Ye temple are the same person. Okay. So I feel like Um, like the Paris Temple. Is there a Paris temple? Yeah, put the Paris Temple. That's like a touristy one. Because that one has like the Christus outside, too. Oh, cool. Okay. Um shall we just put church building? Yep. Church building. Um could just do something for everyone, like a garden wedding or something. Garden wedding. Or backyard wedding. That's the same as garden wedding. Okay. I just think the backyard needs a mention because that's also a common one for Mormons. Which I love. I think they're so pretty. Yeah. That's what we did for our reception. It's also COVID, so. Okay. So we got the wedding location. Okay. And then the next a very important part of wedding. Well. Are you a polygamous wife? Yeah, so I'm gonna put polygamy status. Polygamy status. It's like relationship status. No. I'm getting my polygamy status on Facebook.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so there's different kinds of polygamy. Yeah, this is a monster explanation. So polygamy. The pract technically it's polygyny, isn't it? I don't even know. As it was practiced in Morganism, because it's a man and then many women.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I can't. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the term we use is wrong.

SPEAKER_01

We're not delivering a research episode this week, don't we?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I didn't do research this week. I was too tired research.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, so polygamy was practiced in Mormonism, is still practiced to this day in the FLDS faith, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ, the Vladimir Saints, and within like some people call it mainstream Mormonism, but technically it's just Brighamite Mormonism. So the people that followed Brigham Young after the great schism of schism of Mormonism.

SPEAKER_03

I'm quitting. I'm quitting.

SPEAKER_01

No, but I will in the in the playback. I'll make it like the the episode cover. Oh my gosh. Zoomed into my furrowed eyebrows when you said shizz.

SPEAKER_02

She's not happy with that, you guys.

SPEAKER_01

You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of word of wisdom is the shism. That's probably why I said it.

SPEAKER_02

I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01

We're gonna do an episode about that if you if you know what we're talking about. That's probably why I said it. Anyway, so basically, after Joseph Smith died, some people thought that his son was like the rightful successor, and some people thought Brigham Young was, and then there was a third guy, and anyway Strang? Yeah, but basically the two like largest no, that's not true, not the two largest. How large is Church of Christ? That's the modern day church of Christ. Wait, what? And they're actually super chill. Are you talking about the RLDS church? The community of Christ. Yes, thank you. They're pretty small. Okay, okay, okay. Comparatively. Compared to FLDS as well? Maybe they're equal to FLDS, but I'm just guessing. Yeah. So basically I'm gonna look it up for like surviving groups of Mormonism. And the one that we talk about is the Brigamite Mormonism. So all of that to say, polygamy is not practiced or allowed in both Brigamite Mormonism, nor is it allowed in and the community of Christ. But it is allowed in the FLDS community. So that's the Mormon sect that is like most famous for practicing Mormonism, and the sect that a lot of like documentaries recently are coming out about the polygamy in the FLDS church. But in Mormonism, despite the fact that it's not practiced still to this day, technically a man still can be sealed, aka married for all eternity, to multiple women at the same time. A woman, however, cannot be sealed to multiple men at the same time. And so for a lot of people, this raises questions about what happens in the afterlife if, like, I am sealed to one person and heaven forbid they pass away and I marry another person. What does that situation look like in heaven? Despite the fact that the modern-day LDS church, the brigamite branch, does not condone polygamy. That's why we're still putting this on here. I still think it's relevant to a Mormon psyche. Yeah. So basically, in like mainstream or brigamite Mormonism, you cannot be practicing polygamy in this life, but you can in the next life. So we're gonna put as a polygamy status, um, we're gonna say no earthly wait. Oh no, we're gonna say only afterlife. Is that a good way to say it? Polygamy only in the afterlife. So in this case, if you get this as your mash fate, you will be a polygamous wife in the afterlife, but not on earth. Okay. There's also, we could say, um earthly, no, only afterlife. Tough. Yeah. And then no polygamy, jackpot. And then only earthly polygamy. How do you get that one? Uh, if like if the person that you were polygamously sealed to does something so bad that they like can't well, I mean, if they just go to any other kingdom. Wait, that's a confusing one. Should we even include that? So, okay, so you're polygamously married to a guy on earth, and then he does something so bad, he like kills someone, and then he No, it doesn't have to be that bad. He could just like drink coffee too much or something and go to the telestial kingdom. I still wouldn't be with him. Oh, the celestial kingdom? Oh because you can see it gets a little bit complicated. So yeah, but that's that goes into our next one. So we have this next one. What a gorgeous segue. Um, the kingdom that you go to. So in the Church of Jesus Christ, the Latter-day Saints, there is a belief in kind of like a tiered afterlife. So there's the celestial kingdom, jackpot, tea, restrict kingdom. When you said jackpot, it sounded like that was one of the kingdoms. It's the celestial kingdom, the jackpot, jackpot.

SPEAKER_03

Oh hey, sign me up for the jackbox of the jackpot.

SPEAKER_01

Guys, it looks like Vegas there. Wait, Jackbox. Jack. What is it?

SPEAKER_03

Please help me.

SPEAKER_01

Wait. Jackpot. I started saying jackbox because I thought it was the fast food.

SPEAKER_03

Jack in the box. Wait, that's like let's go on. There's no such thing as a jackbox. No, I'm kidding. This is the last one.

SPEAKER_01

Something about the video feature, you guys. I'm blessed. Okay. So there's the celestial kingdom, which is jackpot. Like, okay, you made it. That's heaven. Then there's the terrestrial kingdom, which is supposed to be like Earth. It's like, depending on your outlook, you know, you do not want to go there. Then the T Lestial Kingdom, that one is a tier below. And then in all caps and bold, I'm trying to find out creepy parts. Okay, yeah, so there's outer darkness, which is wow, good job. Which is like you really did something super bad. And so that one makes it look kind of cool though, I feel like. I gotta find a creepy darkness. Yeah, it can't be aspiring to outer darkness. Outer darkness, but it has too much swag. Oh, that's just not good. I am a font fiend. I could be at this for hours, so you should stop me. I love fonts. Okay, that was kind of good enough. Yeah, that's good. Okay. It's not so interesting to where I like want to go there or anything. Yeah, it's a little creepy. Yeah. Okay. Outer darkness. Those are all the options, right? Yes. There's no secret. Technically, there's three tiers of the celestial kingdom. Three tiers of the celestial kingdom, technically, so only in the highest one could you be a polygamous wife, but I don't think we need Get it at all. Yeah, we don't need to get it at all. That's my all right. This is looking pretty good. Oh, I thought of another calling that I want to add. Um, state camp director. Oh, heaven forbid. God save me from that one. Okay, are we missing any categories?

SPEAKER_03

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, we can always add yeah. Yeah, I think we're gonna post this. Yes. Um so you guys can do it too. Okay, should we should we get on with it and see what our fate holds? Yes, okay. Right? Yeah. Okay, so it's my turn to um mash. To be I'm the mashy. The mashy. The mash. Oh my gosh. Okay. Now that we have basically our mash outlined, we now this part is complicated, okay? So I'm just kidding, it's not that complicated. But that's fine. No, no, I was just kidding. It's not complicated. So I'm going to draw a swirl, and Stella is going to close her eyes, and she's going to say stop whenever she wants me to stop drawing the swirl. Okay, I'm just gonna explain that much of it. If you're watching, it will be easier. Okay. It sounds like you're doing a magic trick. It is kind of a magic trick. You're right, actually. Okay.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Just wait for the magic. Okay, close your eyes. Okay, there's a I'm drawing the swirl. Pretend like there's some magic music. Stop. Okay. Can I open this now, or do I still? Yes. You can open. So now I count like how many rings of the swirl until you get to the middle. So, like, here's a ring. I'm drawing a dot on the swirl. Another ring. Okay, two, three. Would you say that's four? This feels like a college lecture now. Like, this is how you play match. Geometry or something. Okay. Um was that four to get to the center? Three. Do you count the swirl? Is it just three? I don't know. Let's count the center because I didn't do it. I did a very small swirl. I didn't realize. I did the swirl. Oh, but like I you stopped it and it's pretty small. Yeah, true. Okay. So four. Okay, so now we go back to the MASH document, and I'm going to cross out every fourth option. Every fourth option gets eliminated. Okay. I'll probably speed up this part in the video. I'll put it at like double speed so that you don't have to sit through all of the crossing out, but this is how you do it. Okay. So here we go. So one, two, three, four. So now I cross out. So you don't get a house. The mash, I don't know if we ever explained this. Mansion, apartment, shack, house. Okay, so house is eliminated. Oh no. You're not gonna be in a house. I'm still up for a mansion though, so.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Or an apartment. I'm not gonna get care of it yet. Yeah. One, two, three, four. You're not gonna live in Southern California. Sad. Rexbird, please. One, two, three, four. You're not gonna be a Ward Relief Society president.

SPEAKER_03

Swag.

SPEAKER_01

One, two, three, four. You're not gonna be steak young women president. One, two, three, four. Not gonna be the general primary president. One, two, three, four, not gonna be a nursery leader. No, that's the only one I want. One, two, three, four. Not gonna be an MLM. That's the only one I'm trained for. I have a marketing together. So actually, I could do all of them. That's so funny. One, two, three, four. Okay, your husband's not gonna be a general authority. Cool. One, two, three, four. He's not gonna be a mission president, so you won't have to be a doctor. Thank God. One, two, three, four. Correlation game is crazy. One, two, three, four. You won't be a prepper Mormon. One, two, three, four. You're not a backflip Mormon. No! Not a backflip Mormon. One, two, three, four. You're not gonna vacation at Lake Powell. I'm not mad about that. Actually, that's okay. One, two, three, four. Not getting married in the Solic Temple. That is a huge bummer. Aw. One, two, three, four. Also, not garden, backyard wedding. Sorry. These are all my this is everything I just did. Your dreams are getting crushed.

SPEAKER_03

This is literally the two things I have for my wedding.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Okay, you're not getting only earthly polygamy. So still go either way. All the bad options. One, two, three, four. Hey, you're not going to outer darkness. Yay! Ayo. Okay, so now we keep going. And we skip the ones that were eliminated. So one, two, three, four, not living in Salt Lake. Oh, oops.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

One, two, three, four, not living anywhere else. So you're either gonna be living in Provo, Rexburg, or Gilbert. Oh wait, or New York City. One, two, three, four, not Word, you're only president. One, two, three, four, not a study school teacher. One, two, three, four, not a stay-at-home mom. One, two, three, four, your husband will not be an apostle. One, two, three, four, not primary corser. One, two, three, four. Okay. Not having seven to ten kids, so you can either have zero kids or four to six. We'll see. What happens? One, two, three, four, you're not hunting Mormon. One, two, two, three.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, the Lord is good to me.

SPEAKER_01

The Lord is good to me. The Lord is good. The Lord is good. The Lord is good to me.

SPEAKER_00

So body.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. No Paris. Guys, I'm getting a bit more. I'm getting rude over here. You're either gonna get married in the San Diego temple or a church building. If I end up at the church building, I'm going to rage.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_01

The first meme I posted on Loud Laughter account, the very first meme I made in 2026 was about church buildings. Yeah. Or 2025 just kidding. Anyway. So unfortunately, you did not score the no polygamy option. Hopefully, you'll get the only afterlife polygamy package.

SPEAKER_02

It feels like judgment day now. I know. No, mash is your judgment day. Like your God, and you like pour it up. God's like forcing matching.

SPEAKER_01

You like work your whole life to get to the celestial kingdom and you get to judgment day, and it's like God sitting there playing live mash to determine your fate. That's how it feels. Okay, one, two, three. Oh, you didn't get the mansion. You're either gonna do apartment or shower. We still have apartment, you guys. We still there's still a one, two, three. Not New York City. One, two, three, four. Not word primary present. One, two, three, four. Not say camp director. Oh, thank goodness.

SPEAKER_04

One, two, three, four. Your husband will not be bishop. One, two, two, three. That's a win. Three. Oh, you're gonna have four to six kids. Alright. I think I would take that over zero, to be honest with you. Nice.

SPEAKER_01

Alright. And now let's see. One, two, three, four. Not a Molly Warman. One, two, three, four. No cabin in the middle of nowhere. Oh no, please don't make me go to the Hill Call of Core Patch. No, no. That's every year, man. Oh, we should have changed every year for everyone. You only have to have polygamy in the afterlife. Okay. So that was the best outcome for you at this time. At this time. Since we eliminated the other options. It's the best package we can do. God would I guess my golden gates.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, you have to live in the shack. I'm slowly becoming one of God's strongest soldiers. Yeah. Especially if he puts me in Rexburg, Idaho. Oh yeah, let's see. Okay, one, two, three. We still don't know. Uh, four. You're not the Stake Relief Society president. Okay. One, two, three, four. Not the hardware. One, two, three. That would be my dream calling is ward choir director. Really? That's a good one. Wait. So much work. No, no, no, no, no. Ward chorister, my bad. Oh, you mean where you just stand up and leave person? Depends on the ward. Depends on how many people are. I would like to be that person. I love doing that because just leading the music. As long as you look graceful enough, no one really cares. So you can have it. I was about to add a caveat, except for people like you. I know. Except for people like you. But for the most part, nobody cares. Yeah. And I would get to show off my fit every Sunday. Yeah, that's true. Get to go up in front of everyone. You're very visible. You do have to be right on time though. Early. I'm looking for the calling that gets me the most famous with the least amount of effort. That's the perfect one then. Thank you. Yeah. There was this sweet lady who in our ward, um, well, sometimes we would attend a Spanish branch, and she would lead the music always in a perfect triangle, no matter what hymn it was. And I honestly, it like hypnotized me. So I never cared. Like it was just like And wasn't she doing it wrong? Yeah. No, it didn't work. That's what I'm telling you. As long as you are hypnotized. Totally out of tempo. That's what's true. If you have your hypnotized vibe. Because first of all, I was a dancer as a ballerina. That's true. That's a huge part of why I want this, is because I know that I can pull off the the wrist that the wrist movements. Yeah. And also I'm really into 70s sleeves, which is huge. Because imagine if your ward chorister was wearing like a kind of like a 70s does medieval getup. With like the long, you know, the long the long sleeve. Mm-hmm. That would be I would be more of like a more of a wizard or witch than a chorister, but I would show up for that part. Nice. Um, so unfortunately, you are going to the Hill Kamura pageant every year for your family vacation. One, two. What did I do in a past life? Okay, let's see. One, two, three, four. Not gonna be the general religious idea, present. One, two, three, four. Alright, you're doing solar sails. Congratulations. This is literally my this is my everything that's happening is my nightmare. Oh no. Everything that's happening is my nightmare. I don't know how this happened. The mash knows you. You're not a trout wife, Mormon. That's right. Your options here are pretty good. I'd be like, one, two. Yeah. Three, four. Hey, you scored the San Diego temple. Yay. You guys, we have one thing. I have one thing going for me. So take this away.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three, four.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Not living in Rexburg.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, thank you. Thank you. That was like my bottom three places to live in the entire world. This is Rexburg and killed for Air's again. Well, you're getting one of those. Provo's fine.

unknown

I can be fine.

SPEAKER_01

One, two, three. Alright, you got the performing arts Mormon. Congratulations. Okay, so I have some like karmic retribution to repeat. One, two. Three, four. Alright, you're living in Provo. Now it sounds like I'm going to jail. It sounds like I'm in the court. Alright, you're going to provide. We're sending you to probable. Send us one to Provo.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three. Three, four. Alrighty. Oh no, you saw one. Two, three.

SPEAKER_03

Wait.

unknown

Four.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, wait. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

That's okay. I don't need one. Wait, no, no, I didn't. Okay.

unknown

Hold on.

SPEAKER_04

You are the state primary present. Okay, that's not as bad as general women's present. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, let's see. One, two, three, four. Alright, you are going to the celestial kingdom. Congratulations. Oh, we need that. We need that. Um, hey now, hey now. This is what dreams are made of.

SPEAKER_03

Can you we need it with that music? I'm going to the celestial kingdom.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Have you seen those videos with that song? And it's like, I think the original one was seeing Cinderella's Castle for the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic. And when this woman like drops to her knees crying, really. Oh my gosh. Speaking of Disney World, that is one of my favorite videos of all time. That's so funny. Someone made one about the Joseph Smith Sphinx that we talked about. Oh, that's so funny. It's like a parody of that, but it's like first time seeing the Joseph Smith Sphinx since the COVID-19 pit. Oh my god. Okay. I'll remake it one of these days. I think we got everything. Your husband is going to be the elders corn president. Not bad. Okay, so let me summarize.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Here is Stella's Mormon mash fate.

SPEAKER_00

Whoops. Okay. So you will live in a shack.

SPEAKER_01

You will live in a shack in Provo. Oh that's pretty bad. Good. I'm so glad. You will be the stake primary president, and your husband will be the elders quorum president. Oh, I'm so fortunate. Steak primary president. Husband is the elders quorum president. And you will work in solar sales. Well, the field is white in Provo for solar sales. That's true. Okay, you will have four to six kids. It's a range. Yep. You might want to have four because you got a shack, so. Oh, I forgot about that part. Um, you're gonna be a performing arts Mormon, though. I'm gonna be so busy. Yeah, you really are. Between your sake, primary. And be a performing arts Mormon. Yeah, I don't know how you're gonna keep that up. Maybe you're gonna sell tons of solar because everyone's gonna recognize you because you're like a famous performing arts Mormon. You're just gonna make like a ton of money, but you're for some reason not gonna shop. And everyone takes more money. Yeah, I really wonder if if that would transfer. I don't know. Um, okay. Yeah, you're gonna be married. Didn't we say in the San Diego Temple? But your yearly vacation is to the Hil Kimura pageant. This is just so bad. I had I had one second, I had one second in a place I enjoyed, and that was San Diego. Yeah. Maybe perform in the Hil Kamura pageant because you're a performing arts, Mormon. I just don't even want to do that. I've heard it's like really hot and like you have to wear pioneer clothes. So either that or like Book of Mormon clothes. Yeah. Okay, only afterlife polygamy and celestial kingdom. Only afterlife polygamy. So this means that my husband He re You die before your husband. And then he remarries some other lady. That is do not wish that on me. Do not take that out. Take that out. I don't wish it. It's just the match decided. You made that part up. There are other ways. There are other ways. Wait, how else could you get only afterlife polygamy? Um that's the only way. No, if he is married to a woman who are you the second wife? Oh shoot. Okay, you're the second wife. You would rather that? I guess. It depends. Oh, this is getting too technical. This is this is scaring me. Good gravy. Okay. So that's your fate. So you hate my life. Basically, you're really busy with my life. That's that's right. But you're going to the celestial kingdom. So it doesn't even matter. So it doesn't even matter because if you get to go to the celestial kingdom and be a second wife, none of it matters.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my dream.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Wow, this is so interesting. So I have reset the document. So now we can see what my Mormon mash fate will be. I'm just gonna draw the swirl again, but st and Stella's gonna tell me when to stop. Usually it would be reversed, but I have the drawing powers, so true. Let's see if I can. Okay, I'm gonna do a different color for my swirl. I'll do green. Okay. Wait, I was about to close my eyes and draw the swirl. Yeah, okay. Okay, I'm gonna. So you close your eyes again and I'll draw the swirl, and then you tell me when to stop.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Oh made a lot bigger. A little messed up over there. Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Nice. It looks so much bigger, but that's only two rungs more. That's true. Okay, here we go. One, two, three, four, five, six. So I will not be living in Provo with you, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03

Right off the bat. Sad.

SPEAKER_01

I'm jealous. One, two, three, four, but I won't be living anywhere that's not on this list.

SPEAKER_04

Oh wait, did I do four? One, two, three, four. Oops, I was using four. So five, six. No NYC.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know why this is underlined, actually. One, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five, six. Not a nursery leader. One, two, three, four, five, six.

SPEAKER_04

My husband will not be a prophet, that's good. Too much work. One, two, three, four, five, six. Also nomination, that's great. I don't have to be a doctor. One, two, three, four. Oh, this is not supposed to be four. One, two, three, four, five, six.

SPEAKER_01

Sweet. Six kids are less.

SPEAKER_04

The mash, the spirit of mash has spoken. That's why you're gonna have seven to ten kids.

SPEAKER_01

One, two, three, four, five, six. Not a backflip Mormon. Man. This is the part that I'm most invested in, to be honest. Same. I feel like this is the part that like tells me the most about who you will become. Yeah. Hey, I'm not going to the Hilcomora pageant with you. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00

I'm not having a garden back here wedding.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three, four, five, six. Not going to the terrestrial kingdom. One, two, three, four, five, six. Not having a house. One, two, three, four, five, six. Not your true. One, two, three, four, five, six. Mash doesn't want me to be in the primary. One, two, three, four, five, six. Not stay home. One, two, three, four, five, six. Husband's not the bishop. One, two, three, four, five, six. Dang. There's how many kids I think I want in real life.

SPEAKER_04

Five to six. Four to six. No, one to three. It got canceled.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, same. One, two, three, four, five, six. Okay. I'm not a hunting Mormon. Yay. Yeah. No offense to hunting Mormons. I just don't want to be one. I just don't want to be one. Kind of like the same as like fishing. Like, I just personally I don't like fishing that much. I like being in nature, but I just don't like fishing or hunting. Don't have to be a huntress to like being in nature. Okay, that's good. I got rid of the worst one of polygamy. No mansion. This is rigged. Join me. This is rigged.

SPEAKER_02

The one that you made.

SPEAKER_04

I rigged it against myself. Wait, hold on. Wait, I just crossed out. Which one did I just cross out? I crossed out mansion. Okay, one, two, three, four, five, six. Oh, and I'll be in somewhere else. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six. Not primary again. One, two, three, four, five, six. No MLM. One, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five, six. Another chat wife. One, two, three, four, five, six.

SPEAKER_01

One, two, three, four, five, six. Oh man. One, two, three, four. Five, six.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, I got an apartment.

SPEAKER_01

Yay.

SPEAKER_04

One, two, three, three, four, five, six. One, two, two, three, four, five, six.

SPEAKER_00

One, two.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's one that you want clear out of your path. Yeah. So much work and stress to be. So much work. State camp director. Mm-hmm. Or like the girls' camp director. I think that would be even worse. Well, that's what I meant. Oh, okay. State camp's. I meant like state girls' camp. Yeah, sorry. I should have specified that. No, no, that's okay. Whatever. Yeah, that's a bad one. We had a multi-stake Harry Potter themed girls camp once. We did? I was after the graduated, unfortunately. Oh, you went to that's like sad that I wasn't there. I know. It was the year after our great girls' camp incident. Yeah. And I was like, I'm never going to girls' camp again. We still went. But then they were like, it's Harry Potter themed. And I was like, So you were like, yeah. All the stakes were different. Like Harry Potter. Yeah. And then we were staying like right by a lake that had these like with the blow-up toys in it. And then they were like these really cute, like colored, like Florida Keys style, like cabins that the different stakes lived in. And then if you were like if you were a YSL or YSL, what is that? Isn't that what it's called? Isn't this what it is? What is it called? What is it? You stake leader? I guess so, yeah. Yeah. If you were a YSL, then you were a prefect. Really? That's so cute. Okay, yeah. That sounds fun. I I actually do remember hearing about that and I was kind of jealous because that one sounded really fun. We'll we'll get into the great girls' camp incident on another episode. Don't worry, we're okay. Like it wasn't like no it wasn't anything serious. Except it was. It was mentally serious. But we're fine. We were unharmed. Just really stressed out. Yeah. I cannot wait to do a girls' camp episode because I swear everything we did was completely abnormal. Like yeah. Anyway. It was just different. Anyway, it's just different. Camping in Florida hits different. It's not really in not in a good way.

SPEAKER_03

It just hits. It hits you painful in the face.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So someday we'll do an episode on both Trek and Girls Camp because we did both in the great state of Florida. So okay, so I'm either going to outer darkness. I'm either going to the Celestial Kingdom or Outer Darkness. She's got the extremes. This is a toss-up of one, two, three, four, five, six. One, two, three, four, five. Six. Oh, I'm doing solar sales too. Bro. Maybe we're like coworkers, but like remote. Remote. If it was remote, then maybe I'd do solar sales. I actually I would never in real life, but like maybe I would be more accepting of that in this game if that's an option for me. If whatever I did in the past, like having no kids. Oh my gosh. Sad. Oh well.

unknown

Sad.

SPEAKER_01

Oh well. I'm just kidding. Oh, too bad. Anyway. Anyway. It's just mash, okay.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three, four, five, six.

SPEAKER_01

Disneyland. That's where you're going? Yep. Every year. It's not fair. Yeah, it is.

unknown

Man.

SPEAKER_01

Um, you know the From the Mouths of Babes video? Yeah. We'll probably watch that soon on an episode, but the one kid that they ask him where he wants to serve his mission, where he's they're like, where do you want to go on your mission? He's like, To Disneyland. I love that kid. So funny. I love those movies. That is it's a movie of just like, it's kind of like kids say the darnest things, but like Mormon. I'm going to outer darkness. No. Ooh. Suddenly my locks not looking so bad. Yeah, for real. Thou shalt not covet. No. No, I'm so sorry. That's actually that's terrible. So sorry for your loss. The loss of others, depending on the situation. So, what was I talking about? You were talking about the mouths of babes video. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's basically like just like Mormon kids like saying things, funny things like about church and stuff, like things that they maybe don't understand quite yet. So there's like, but some of them are like attempts to be like spiritual, which is why it's so funny. So one of the questions that the like cameraman asks a kid is like, um, how do you feel like about the sacrament? And he's just like, This is making me hungry. Yeah. And so true. So funny. So we'll probably be discussing that. That um short is it sh would you say it's a short film? It's not a movie. Yeah, I think so. It's a short film. It's a short film. Yeah, it's a good one. And then our primary chorister, actually, oh yeah. In North Ogden was in that film as like a kid. Wasn't she the chorus? Like the chorister in the film? Well, she was a primary kid, but she was like leading the kids. She was music into music. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Guys. Yeah, that was cool. It was foretold. One, two, three, four, five, six. This could go so many ways. I want the performing hard one. One, two, three, four, five, six. Hey, SoCal. Bruh. So far, this is looking pretty good except for the outer joint. You're you're here for um a good time, not a long time, whatever. How would you? There's gotta be a way to express. YOLO. Yeah, exactly. I guess. Eat, drink, and be merry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three, four. Five, six. This is gonna be so interesting. One, two, three, four.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, five, six. Okay. Well, that's pretty good. Wait, I skipped. Actually, never mind. One, two, three, four. Five, six. Here's how we can.

SPEAKER_00

One, two, three. Three, four, five, six. One, two, three, three, four. No.

SPEAKER_01

Only earthy. Only earthy. Ooh. Okay, wait. So what did we say that that means? You like my husband does something so bad that he goes to outer darkness. But I'm going to outer darkness too. No, no, no, no. But remember, remember. Remember. Wait, wait, wait. He he doesn't have to go to outer darkness. He just has to not go to the celestial kingdom. Oh. Because technically. Okay. I mean This sucks. Okay.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, this sucks. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

SPEAKER_02

Earthly polygamy.

SPEAKER_01

Uh man, you gotta be in an apartment with earthly polygamy. Oh gonna be living with sister wives in an apartment. No. Uh-oh. I might also be a prepper Mormon. I'm either gonna be a prepper war Mormon or a performing arts Mormon. With my sister wives. Oh no. You guys would probably be really good performers. We'll have a band. Okay, my husband is a Sunday school teacher. Nice. Let's chill. Yeah, maybe they have other wives. Maybe that's why he's a Sunday school teacher, because he can't have any higher calling. Because he's a volumist. Well, technically he'd be excommunicated, but at least you don't allegedly. At least you don't have kids with this man. Oh yeah, I have no kids. You're lucky now. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so I am a performing arts polygamist. Oh, I'm so happy for you. Wow. What a joy. Oh my gosh. Okay, now I just need to know what my calling is. One, two, three, four, five, six. I am the stake relief society president. Could be worse, could be worse. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Let's see. Here's my Mormon mash fate. Living in an apartment in SoCal with my polygamist husband.

SPEAKER_03

One plus sister wives. The fear. One plus and no kids.

SPEAKER_01

That's crazy. And then what else? I'm a stake relief society president. So our polygamy must be secret. Um it's a tough life. Yik, stake relief society president. I work in solar sales. I forgot about that part. Oh, that sucks. We have quite the double life. Yeah. I mean, maybe in like LA, it wouldn't be as crazy. Like, I'm um, I'm just polyamorous. Yeah. You can be polyamorous. You want. No, I'm saying that that's what I would tell people in LA. Yeah, to cover up for you. So they what the reality is that I'm in this against my will. Yeah. Because of a mash game in 2026. Yeah. Okay, my husband's a Sunday school teacher. I'm a performing arts Mormon. Hey, that works. I go to Disneyland every year because I already live in Southern California. So that is so boring. Oh, that's true. You're right.

SPEAKER_02

You're like one part. I'm like.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. And oh yeah. I got married in the Paris Temple, so so you've been at you've been like on a somewhere cool at least once. Yeah. Before he took another wife. Oh no. Paris Temple and Outer Darkness. Yeah. It's a tough one.

SPEAKER_00

Outer darkness.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe you go to outer darkness because you Because I did plug me? No, because you're husband. Ooh.

SPEAKER_03

Wait, why why that's a good thing? That's a terrible thing. That's terrible. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. This is warping my brain. Okay, you know what? The power of MASH.

SPEAKER_01

MASH is like really dangerous. It's like Jumanji. We like get sucked into it. Ours are so different. Okay, let me go back to yours.

SPEAKER_03

My mic actually makes sense even though it's so.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Yours sucks, but live in a shack in Provo with husband and four to six kids, steak primary president. Wait, what was mine, my calling? Was stake relief society president. Stake primary president, husband's eldercorm president, work, solar sales, performing arts. We're both performing arts Mormons who work in solar sales.

SPEAKER_03

That checks out.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe that means something.

SPEAKER_03

I think it does.

SPEAKER_01

You were married in the San Diego Temple, and I live could live in San Diego.

SPEAKER_03

True. Because we only had four options. There's a 50-50 chance. Or no.

SPEAKER_01

25% chance of something else. Celestial Kingdom only afterlife polygamy. Wow. Yeah, yours makes more sense than mine. Mine's so weird. They're not great. It's crazy. So the good news is. Neither of them are great. It's just a game despite its hypnotic powers. Yeah. Don't let it fool you. I do not feel that I've done anything in a past life or in this life to warrant such a fate. True. So I rebuke this mash.

SPEAKER_03

I rebuke this mash. I hereby rebuke the mash on my screen. The mash that I've placed upon myself. That's so funny. Get the end smash. Get the end smash.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh. Gonna bless my house later. Yeah, for real.

SPEAKER_00

Rededicate that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, rededicate my house after.

SPEAKER_03

After the match. Oh no.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want any polygamous spirits. No way. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so crazy. So anyway, we will upload this document so that you can do your own Mormon match and let us know what your fate is and if you fare better than we did. Yeah. We hope you do. Feel free to customize it too. Yeah, you can need permission. But yeah. Especially if you're like in okay, if you're in a place where like Utah Mormon Utah culture doesn't really apply, I would love to know like what you would put on there. Because I genuinely don't know like what outside of like somewhat Brazil, because I lived there in a Mormon context, in a very Mormon time in my life, I lived in Brazil. And then I've obviously lived in the United States and in Utah. So other than that though, I just don't know what region. Yeah, let us know. We talked with Nemo a little bit about some of that for like Great Britain, but I'm hoping that through this podcast too I learn a lot more about Mormonism in other parts of the world. That's part of it. Like I would love to incorporate that more. I just genuinely don't have the experience or knowledge. So please tune in whenever, like, send us a text, um, comment, all the things that you can do to interact with us. We just love to hear from you guys and thank you so much for um joining us today. And we hope you do not end up a polygamous wife, outer darkness. Your mesh, no outer darkness for you guys. You only deserve the best. The main kingdom, vacations to what was the best vacation slot we put on there? We didn't put it. We didn't have a lot of bangers, but Disneyland, Disneyland, yeah, that was the best one. Disneyland. Alright, well, we can only do so much for you. But we hope you have success on your mass journey. We do, we wish you success. If you are watching on YouTube, please subscribe below. We have zero subscribers, I think, so you could be our lucky first. Yeah, straight to the celestial kingdom. Straight to the celestial kingdom for you. Follow us on Instagram at loud laughterpod. And we will see you next time. Bye.