Trevor Medema on Leadership, ADHD & Working Beside His Mom

What happens when your business partner is also your son — and your best friend? In this deeply personal episode of Opening Doors, Annette Compo sits down with Trevor Medema, her son, fellow REALTOR®, and co-founder of the Compo & Medema Real Estate Group, for a conversation she admits brought her to tears.

Trevor opens up about what it's really like working alongside the woman who raised him, the moment he had to pull her out of a Con Ed class to coach him through a tough loss, and the mindset shift that's defined his growth as a leader: radical personal responsibility. He shares how working with his coach, Tyler Ahlstrom, helped him hack his ADHD with a simple "parking lot" of sticky notes — a system that's transformed his follow-through and productivity.

🔗 CONNECT WITH TREVOR MEDEMA
🌐 Website: https://trevormedema.kw.com/
📞 Mobile: 248-808-8738
📧 Email: trevormedema@kw.com
💼 LinkedIn:   / trevor-medema-b6a7a6221 
📍 Office: 30500 Northwestern Hwy, Suite 300, Farmington Hills, MI 48334

🎙️ TREVOR ALSO CO-HOSTS THE LOCAL LOOP
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4PGbcZD...
📸 Instagram:   / thelocalloopfh 
🎵 TikTok:   / the.local.loopfh 

🏢 COMPO & MEDEMA REAL ESTATE GROUP
🌐 Website: https://compomedemagroup.kw.com/
🌐 Team Site: https://www.comporealty.com/
👍 Facebook:

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Welcome to the next episode of Opening Doors with the Nets. Today it's a special guest. I don't even know how I'm even gonna say how special, because I always say I'm excited, and I am excited for this guest. Um, however, very close to me. Actually, my son Trevor Matima. Welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:25

So, Trevor, obviously, we're you're my son, I'm your mom, but at the end of the day, we're also business partners.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

We are.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

So, what are we in business as?

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Real estate.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

So commercial and residential real estate.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

In uh the name of the company Compo Metama Real Estate Group. So Compo Metama Real Estate Group. So welcome to the podcast, Trevor. And I know it's kind of fun because you just said you do a podcast here in the same studio. I know you wouldn't even know it. It looks completely different.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Yeah, they do a great job.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Yeah, they do do a great job here, no question. So we're very fortunate. So being a mom and son um business partners, there's a lot of great conversations and a lot of great topics.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Is that what we call them?

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Yeah, and so people don't even know that we have not um practiced for this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

So no, I just showed up like three minutes ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

So it's gonna be amazing these questions I ask you. So the first one, obviously, people always want to know behind the scenes. So, what's one thing that you can tell my listeners? And I'm extremely nervous about asking this. What's one thing you can tell my listeners that they would not know about me?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Um did you tell them you went to Haiti? Yes. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

I know that was a pretty good podcast as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

So um, do they know you have two ex-husbands?

SPEAKER_02 1:42

Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

No, you I don't, I mean, I was pretty promising that that was gonna be one that no one would know about me.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

But what are you two great kids?

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Yeah, two great kids. Two ex-husbands, but two great kids. I love you, and it's true because at the end of the day, you have an incredible sister who's 14 years old, and it's and you are a mentor to her. And so thank you for that. Not only are you a leader in our community, my business partner, now a husband to a lovely, lovely woman who is our office manager. Um, so our our company is a family-driven company. Um, and it was funny, I was just talking to Jules the other day, and she said, Well, what is it like this family business? Like, how do I get into it more than what I am already? And I said, Well, you know, you're probably gonna want to sit down with your brother and figure out what that, you know, five.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

She said that.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Yeah, isn't that cool? Five to ten years. And I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Gotta fix the set. Keep going. We're good.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

I don't know if that five to ten year conversation is funny, nervous.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Oh, nervous.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Oh, you're nervous. What's the emotion around it?

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I can't handle that accountability that's coming my way.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Because you know your sister, right? Yeah. She's a driver.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

And I know her mom.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Yeah, well, she's a driver, so it'll it'll be good for you. So, what do I do at work that makes you crazy?

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Um, I would say it's the same thing that makes you great. And it's that uh you're incapable of not being a coach. And so you're always there um to say the right things, but maybe not when I want to hear them. Um, and so that's like the best worst thing about working with you is this because I also, you know what, I'm actually gonna take that back, and I realize how crucial it is to me because actually something I just went through, which was we a deal we didn't get, and mom wasn't there because she was actually teaching a con ed class. Um that was a crazy day, but I realized how much that you manage my emotions, right? And you are that that coach, that person where it's like Trevor, you know, um, it wasn't our business to have, and not having that was uh hard. And I realized how much of a crutch that was for me in situations. So what I do, I came and pulled you out of your conhead class.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

So how is that even possible?

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Oh, I know how it's possible. I went and said, Hey mom, come out here.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Well, thank goodness you don't travel with me on my speaking engagements. True. You'd be pulling me off a stage and be like, hey, I got this emotion. Well, and I think that's really important to you as you as a leader, right? When you have a higher level conversation, you rise to that conversation. So understanding that, you know, and recognizing what was going on at that time, how you handled it, which obviously wasn't your best work, right? But then you as a leader decided, you know what, that isn't my best work, and these are the things I'm gonna put in place, so that's never repeated again.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Yeah, and I think um ultimately the things like that, and it's this is definitely cross-industry, is you have to take situations where um it feels really bad. Um, and if you have the opportunity to learn from it, so hopefully it doesn't happen again. And you know, luckily my personality makes me incapable of whatever emotions I'm feeling that was frustration in the back end or before or initial thoughts when I see that person, because I ultimately had to go over there um to give them back some documents. Um, I was incapable of being frustrated. Like I can't be mad at this, like you know, we're just gonna leave that there because it's gonna keep doing it. I'm incapable of being mad at this 80-year-old couple. Um, and I got the opportunity to be calm and it was genuine emotions, and I asked them why, and they told me, and it was like actually a gift, which is crazy to even say no.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Yeah, and I think too, it's it's really, really interesting how and you look at it now looking back on it, leads me into the next question, which is obviously somebody who's looking to hire us. I mean, they're gonna watch the podcast. Yeah, what is our competitive advantage?

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Um, besides being extremely involved in the community and sometimes incapable of saying no to things that support our community, um, which I ultimately do think is a blessing and a gift to us as well as our community. Um, you know, we uh do a couple of things really well, and it's communicate between each other. Um, yes, you benefit from having two agents for the price of one, um, but what comes with that is this awesome communication. So we always communicate in the morning, in the middle of the day, and at night, and that's irregardless to if we've seen each other all day or if we didn't see each other once. On top of that, um, we have the experience of someone that's been doing this for uh you know 30 some odd years, um, which is something that you know people just don't get. And so that's experience um in different markets, one being the recession where you didn't go get another job, you figured it out, and what did you do? You end up doing how many short sales and you know from 2008 to 2012. Um, so you're getting all that experience, and we're cool people, so you're just lucky that you get to have us as realtors.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Well, and I think it's fun that when you say yes, we're cool people, but that coolness is the caring, right? So when you say cool, it actually migrates over to the second word, which is caring, and that's why we have our systems in place when you mentioned the morning in the night calls. Um, yes, we work together, but we don't work with each other every single minute. And so if a client calls me and and I am not available for whatever reason, let's say meeting with somebody else, it's very easy for me to forward that voicemail or forward that text or just give you a quick text saying, Hey, um, Joe Smith just called me. Can you reach out to them? And you literally are jumping in on the last time that we've had a conversation and you know where that client is at and what their needs are. Um, and it moves the ball. Um, and of course, I use that as an analogy because we're going to get into the next thing that I believe it really um your experience in football, right? So it's like moving the ball down the field every time we have our client. How do we move the next play down that meets the goals of what they're trying to accomplish?

SPEAKER_01 8:03

And ultimately, I think too, one more thing that I wanted to jump in before we move on to the next question is is that the way we run our business is the way we treat our clients. So the way we run our business is a yes being involved with the community, but it's giving it's coming from contribution and giving back, constantly thinking about our legacy and how we help the people around us. And in turn, people just naturally want to help you. It's the giver's gain theory. So that's how we treat our clients. And an example that comes to mind, which is very recent, is we had a client that um the tub sink in the basement broke. Um, we didn't know until final walkthrough. Um, and the and the seller wasn't necessarily going to replace it and make it whole. So, what did we do? We looked at the situation, we said, you know what, let's just fix the sink so that this first-time home buyer is coming into their house and that they're gonna have the greatest experience and in turn hopefully refer us business. Now, it yes, it did cost us $250, but what we got was an extremely happy buyer and an extremely happy seller, which is our main goal.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

It's our main goal, making sure our clients feel that that their priorities, their goals, their largest investment is protected by two people that care enough to take the time to do that. Yeah, and I think um, where do you feel like? Of course, I I see you and how you've grown, right? Because I get to go all the way back to the day I brought you home from the hospital from the hospital. And so, how do you feel um you're growing as a leader and what do you attribute that leadership growth to?

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Um so I feel like growing as a leader. Um we repeated one more time. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

Yeah, no, I love it. Yeah, so what I see you and how you've grown as a leader. Tell me what you feel that attribute to your growth and leadership.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

I think it's the hard times. The easy, the easy times and the wins are are easy. You won. And so you can, yes, look at how you won, but it's it's the the the points where um you either are dealing with a really crappy emotion, a really crappy circumstance, um, and and having the ability to take that, whether it's right when you your initial reaction, or maybe in a couple hours or a day later, but um saying, hey, what what could I have done differently? What what is what's something that I could do to make sure either this doesn't ever happen again, or just what's my you know, what's my self-responsibility in this? And it's crazy because when you do that, A, um, it almost like I don't want to say gives you a swagger, but it um you grow. I mean, there's no other way to describe it.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

You know, I love it that you talked about personal responsibility, right? Um, that's not the first time you've heard of that be getting into the real estate business.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

No, you are my mom.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Yeah, so when was the first time do you remember that I talked about personal responsibility?

SPEAKER_01 10:59

The day you brought me home.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

That's true. I don't know if I actually said those words. The thing I said to you when you came home.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

And I said it was middle school.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

It was the middle school?

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Yeah, when you know you found out that I was hiding like a semester long of homework underneath my bed.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

That you already did.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Right.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Right. What who does their homework, Trevor, and doesn't turn it in?

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Someone with ADHD.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Yeah. And it's interesting is to see you kind of turn that corner, right? You've never used that diagnosis as a life buoy. It's always been, you know, as how how can I use this to make myself better? How in any situation is that personal responsibility conversation um come up? And I commend you for that because having personal responsibility is probably the biggest mindset shift that's the hardest for people. And a lot of times people don't even do it. And the reason is is because it's personal accountability being held by you. And that type of growth as a leader is where the most powerful speed of growth happens. And I don't think people really realize that because we also talk about what's your heart, what's the hard in what you're doing? Yeah. Because you have two situations in life you get to pick, right? Why and the road? You have this decision or this decision. Both are hard, but which one's harder?

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Because the one that's harder will always be the hardest.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, and I think ultimately it comes down to just happiness and realizing that life's short, and that when you switch your mindset over to accepting personal responsibility, which is present in any situation, doesn't matter how unjust it seems as the other party is, there's ultimately something that you could have done differently. Um it leads to a life of happiness, like just being happier, less negative. And um, and and I sit here and listen to myself, I'm like, wow, Charlie, you could probably practice that a little more than what you preach it. Um, you know, we all really are all human. And as long as you're trying to keep that in the forefront and you're practicing every day um to be better at taking responsibility and and just like not sweating the small stuff like water off a duck's back, um, and ultimately realizing that you know life really is short. And so are you gonna ride the roller coaster of emotions or are you gonna watch it? I'd much rather watch it.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Yeah, and I think we when you talk about the reaction period, right? Yeah, it's when you're in the heat of what's going on. It's the um outcome is never in the forefront when you're having the situation of whatever's going on, the challenge. But we also have to remember is that we're defined by the by the reaction, not the outcome.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

So understanding that it's the reaction of shifting the mindset, it gives value of why it's so important that you have the tools and skills in place to be able to shift that mindset back to where it's at. Because going back to which one's harder, your brain is wired to take on the most hardest, which is usually the one that either paralyzes people where they do nothing, or they pick the wrong decision. Right. Because honestly, the easier decision is the least hard, but that's the one that people gravitate away from, which is crazy when you think about it. Because that's why it's important to know how are we wired as humans, and once you understand that, then the decision making becomes so much more critical. So, how do you control your mindset? What are some great things that you've done um that have helped you in your leadership growth?

SPEAKER_01 14:31

I would say that there's little things that a lot of it I have to give credit to my my coach, um Tyler Alstrom, um, who's been my coach for I would say about two years. Um, so I I like I just mentioned I do have ADHD. Um, so I am not neurotypical, so there are some differences, um, definitely from my very neurotypical mother, um, who who which is fantastic. Um, but you know, some things are just different, you know.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Did you just blame that on me?

SPEAKER_01 15:03

I did.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

I think so. And we're taping it. That's easy to do.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

I'm actually blaming my ADHD on you. No, I'm kidding. Not at all. Um, so um, like with some certain things with dopamine releases and having um maybe some fail-safes in place. So, like the example I I was giving about um, you know, not getting business that I I thought was mine, you know, it's like, okay, when you're faced with something really hard um where you know you can you can feel those immediate emotions coming on, like get up and take a walk. Like the power of taking a walk chemically in your brain is something that you it's hard to comprehend until you experience it. And so just little things to separate yourself from uh the reality of the situation because that's the part that you're getting stuck in, is a in that situation, just reading this email that was telling me I'm not getting this business. Like, no, you gotta separate yourself to give yourself time to think about what's happening and what reality is because it's so easy. I mean, your your perspective is your reality, and that can either help or hurt you.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

So, and you know, I think um when I talk about my limitations of working with my son, and I say my limitations because it's something I've had to overcome, which is I want to hear more about this. We we um operate differently, we do, as much as we're connected. Because like I said, the first thing I said to you when I brought you home from the hospital was it's you and I against the world, right? Because it was, it was just you and I. Um, and um, so that was the first thing I said to you. The second thing is that we became best friends as you grew up. I was still your parent, but today as an adult, um you are the best friend that I've had my entire, you know, your entire life. And um, it's very emotional for me. But I realized too is that we are wired so differently, even though we're so connected. So I think the biggest challenge I had working with you has been that, which is I'm very organized, I'm very detail driven.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

You're saying I'm not? Well I'm not, I'm not. That's okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

I'm not saying what you're not, but to give the comparison, and I was in adoration. Um, I think it was about three weeks ago, when I noticed what your coach had put you on, or maybe you guys determined it together in one of your sessions, where you call it your parking lot, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Yeah, let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Share with the listeners what your parking lot is.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

So a parking lot is um exactly what it sounds like. You so you have a stack of sticky notes, then you have your to-dos. Well, what I do is I write down each to-do on a sticky note, and I put them literally, it looks like a grid. It's like grid lots.

SPEAKER_02 17:45

It's pretty fancy.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Oh, and then like if I have a lot to do, it's like half my desk is this parking lot of sticky notes. And what it is is I complete a task and then I get the dopamine release of crumpling up the sticky note and throwing it away. I mean, that's how that's what hacking ADHD is because ultimately ADHD can be a gift as much as it can also feel like a curse sometimes. Um, you just have to have systems in place that help you uh capture the attention because that's the part where you can get diverted is your attention, right? Um it's I I it's called I wish I wish Tyler was here to say it right now, but it's like urgent um interest. There's like this category of things that you know um is going to be easy to do. Some things make things easy to do, some things make them extremely hard to do. And if it needs to be done yesterday, it's really easy to do. Um, but if you if there's a if there's an opportunity to procrastinate, then it's hard to do. Now having this parking lot, it's it's nice because I know that I'm gonna get this satisfaction from crumpling up this this sticky note and throwing it away and completing the task that you know I've done it, I think I'm on, like you said, like two months of it now.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Oh, two months.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

And I just noticed one thing I really struggled with was my follow-through with people. I was saying things that I was going to do and not doing them. And ultimately in this business, that can be a huge hurt and ultimately wasting your time giving back or being a part of the chamber because someone um is waiting for you to do something and you don't do it. I mean, they're not gonna say, Yeah, let's give this person business that doesn't follow through.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Well, and it's productivity, right? It is how productive are you with the same amount of eight hours or nine hours or ten hours that you and I work? And it was interesting for me because the the light bulb went off when I saw this, and I literally just saw it three weeks ago. And if you've been doing it for two months, it's probably why I was in adoration because you've really mastered it. It was for me, you were meeting the same results that I meet, just a different way to get there. Yeah, and it was based off of what was best for you and not what was best for me, and being the leader that I am, right? I sometimes become the student, yeah. And in that experience, I became the student because it was the first time that I was like, you know what, he's meeting the same expectation and goals that I have set out for myself, right? Because we sit down monthly, obviously yearly, um to set the goals that we have as a company. Um, but you're doing the same thing I'm doing, just a different way of doing it. Yeah. And so that adoration, it truly is what it is because I have seen you go from who you were in college to now this compelling leader within our community, not only for the schools, um, but for youth and for young business professionals, and all doing it with what some people would say might have been your kryptonite. Yeah. But it's turned out to be probably your biggest advantage of building relationships with people because when you overcome an obstacle like that, you shine like the shining star that you are.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Thanks, Bob.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

So here at the podcast, we have this tradition. We always ask the one last question before we wrap up, which is if you get to look at your younger self and tell that younger self something you would do differently, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Um, I don't know, probably just embrace yourself, be yourself. Um I feel like I try to fit in this box um of society, and it really made it a struggle. I really struggled with um, you know, finding friends, and I ultimately now find that the people I'm closest with are the people that I'm myself around.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

I love you. I'm so proud of you until the next episode. As I'm crying out of this podcast, I will see you then.