The Uncanny Valley
Regular discussion of horror media. Movies, shows, books - we'll cover it all. Pack a bag, put on some shoes you don't mind getting messy, and join us in The Uncanny Valley.
The Uncanny Valley
UV Commentary - Resident Evil (2002)
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Chris requests Charlie get drunk for his birthday and watch schlocky classic Resident Evil.
Hi, welcome to the Uncanny Valley. Today boxing. Welcome to the Uncanny Valley. Today we are talking about well, we're watching Resident Evil. We're gonna get drunk and watch Resident Evil because it is my birthday today. And I wanted to do that, and it sounded fun. So what we've decided to do is anytime someone says the word virus, we're gonna take a drink. And it might be a grave mistake. We'll find out.
SPEAKER_04It could be a grave mistake, and we could be um sober by the end. We'll see how this goes. But to at least start myself off, I do have this cool shot mojito cocktail 15%.
SPEAKER_01I got on this for at least at least four years, possibly five. Give that a sniff to it. It smells like pure ethanol. That's all that's left.
SPEAKER_02That doesn't sound good.
SPEAKER_01Oh, certainly did not taste like a meeting. Oh, but there's a little lime aftertaste actually. Hold on, I'm coming back around. Oh that's actually quite nice. Hold on. They give you a nice minty aftertaste. Oh rape those actually, hold on. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_04They're great. Initial taste is diabolical. See that, see that little lemon, little little like a little citric gum at the end. Oh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that sounded bad. That sounded bad at first.
SPEAKER_04I try to do you see how in movies where they take the little shot bottles and they put it in their mouth and they hold it up so it goes down their throat?
SPEAKER_05As a mistake. I bet. I always worry about my teeth also when I do stuff like that.
SPEAKER_04You worry about your teeth when you're drinking shots.
SPEAKER_05No, even before I broke my tooth, just having like glasses touching my teeth that are near my teeth. You know, you put the wrong pressure on it, like someone bumps into the glass that's touching your teeth, you're fucked. Yeah, but that's what you're doing.
SPEAKER_04Well, fair.
SPEAKER_05I already have my sick tooth story though, so I'm good now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I've got my sick tooth story. I've I'm pretty sure I said it in like episode one or two about me getting it knocked out. You remember Vistry were there, or is the the bong degraded your brain to a point where that's gone again?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't remember. I remember that you had it tooth story, I don't remember what it was.
SPEAKER_04Well, scaler through the LR episode, you'll find it somewhere. So, Chris, now that you have your version actually working in a uh like a whole 240p.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I'm watching a grim 500 megabyte file.
SPEAKER_04This one definitely has audio, yeah. You're not gonna fuck us before we even start.
SPEAKER_00It does, yes. I checked, I double checked. Okay, before are you mad that I double checked?
SPEAKER_04Why would I be mad that you double checked?
SPEAKER_05You seem mad that I double checked. Imagine if we started and it was the one that didn't.
SPEAKER_04Then what how did I ever imply that I was mad that you double checked? I just asked to make sure I was the one that double checked.
SPEAKER_05You're just giving me energy. You're just giving me energy, is all.
SPEAKER_04I'm not giving you nothing. The only thing that's annoying me right now is that I have a little pom pompood statue blocking the time. I'm a so is your version an award in 40 minutes. This isn't no palm. 31 seconds. Okay, well, when it says 32, so I've got I've got a little snippet of content ahead of you.
SPEAKER_00Fuck, we're gonna be so off.
SPEAKER_04Hell yeah. Okay. Are we are you on zero before I do this 3-2-1? Are you on zero, Chris?
SPEAKER_05I am on zero, and I have to establish are we going on go or on one?
SPEAKER_04Well, we can't say go on go because then you still have to work out if the goal is after the one or if the goal is the one. So there'll be no goals or not going.
SPEAKER_05It would be after the one. Why would you count three, two, go? That makes no sense. No, that's fucked up.
SPEAKER_04How is that fucked up?
SPEAKER_03That's fucked up.
SPEAKER_05I can't explain to you. It's like if you see someone drinking out of a full gallon of milk out in this in in the summer sun, you know, it's just fucked up. You can't explain why.
SPEAKER_04Why where did you get this milk thing from? Where did this come from all of a sudden?
SPEAKER_05It's just an analogy.
SPEAKER_04It's the bad with one is different ways that people actually do a thing, and then one is food poisoning.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but they're equally disturbing. And one of them is not what ways people do a thing. One of the ways one of them is ways that lunatics do a thing.
SPEAKER_04Well, say okay, it's 20 or no, you don't know Celsius.
SPEAKER_05Say it's do you Celsius is so much easier than Fahrenheit. It's just zero to a hundred.
SPEAKER_04It is, and it makes perfect sense. Okay, give me a hot temperature.
SPEAKER_05Um I I don't know like for what is hot relatively when I'm in a room, what like 50 to 45 degrees, 50 degrees?
SPEAKER_04Are you talking Fahrenheit or Celsius?
SPEAKER_05Celsius. Uh Fahrenheit hot to me is 78. Once you're getting there, I'm dying.
SPEAKER_04Okay, if you want a slight breakdown, see where already it's moving started. If you want a slight breakdown, if you get 0 to 10, you're pretty cold. If you get 10 to 20, very mid. 20 to like 29 is you go from it's a little warm to it's pretty warm. 30 to 40 is it's fucking hot, and then 40 upwards is like you'll probably die if you stay out for too long. Yeah, but you need water and shade.
SPEAKER_00So I was right, is what you're saying.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but okay, hypothetically, right, someone's out is like 40 degrees outside, it's scorching, and then they have a nice cold milk in the fridge. Are you gonna put down that man for cooling himself with that cold beverage?
SPEAKER_05He goes back outside with the cold milk, he's throwing up, he's drinking that gallon of milk outside.
SPEAKER_04He's wanting a tan. What if he's lying out there tanning?
SPEAKER_05He's like, hey, how he can do it, he's just crazy for doing it. That's all.
SPEAKER_04How is it what for it's a nutritious beverage? It's healthy.
SPEAKER_05It's like if you see someone and they're you know driving their car and they got their feet up on the dashboard with no shoes on.
SPEAKER_04Okay, that's nothing same. Do you what? I've got I've got a point that will completely break down your entire argument.
SPEAKER_01Ice cream. You have that in the sun, it's a dairy product.
SPEAKER_05Okay, so what you're saying is you wouldn't bat an eye if there was someone drinking a pint of heavy cream in the hot sun.
SPEAKER_04I think if someone drinking heavy cream, regardless of the temperature, that's the issue there. Again, one is just wanting your cold drinking. It's dairy. People have ice cream in the summer.
SPEAKER_01Chris, are you on zero? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Okay, we'll go on the go, but it's after one. There's a one, the go is the zero, okay?
SPEAKER_05It's always after one. There's no three-two go. It doesn't exist.
SPEAKER_04There's definitely people that say three-two go, Chris. I'm not gonna say three, two, one, go.
SPEAKER_01You put the go after one? Chris, I could strangle you. You're so lucky you live far away.
SPEAKER_04The drinking game could be fun, but that like my Jin behind me is whispering to me like the Green Goblin Mask. If I got bought. Do you know what's funny about this movie? A lot of people, when it came out, weren't a big fan of this, okay? They were like, this is garbage. And then as they came out, they got progressively worse, and then there's been a revisionist history of it. Hey, the first couple are actually kind of good and are kind of similar to the games. These are not in any way similar in the slightest. It's his own franchise.
SPEAKER_05None of the movies have been similar to the games. Welcome to Raccoon City is more referential. Oh, viral? That doesn't count, right?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_04No, it would have to be virus, I'm sure. Unless you want to go.
SPEAKER_05No, no, let's not trick trick ourselves.
SPEAKER_04I will say the the music for this one does rap. I think was it Marlon Manson that composed the soundtrack?
SPEAKER_05Oh, interesting. Yeah, this is cool. I know that Russell McKay McKay, something like that. He did Highlander, he directed the third one, which is one of the better resident musicals.
SPEAKER_04That's the one that is good until the end and then it becomes nonsense, isn't it?
SPEAKER_05Or like in the Yeah, and it makes sense because the very ending is more probably what was like in the I don't want to say franchise. I don't know if it was treated like that at the time, but the continuity.
SPEAKER_04See right now you can see that Wes's uh Mr. Mr. and this is Paul Anderson, and I keep wanting to Wes Anderson. Big Anderson here.
SPEAKER_05I'm sure he loves that people make that mistake.
SPEAKER_04He could direct if he wants to, because this opening scene is directed really, really, really well. It's just he seems to not care like almost immediately after this one shot.
SPEAKER_05His shit gets torn apart in editing, which is crazy.
SPEAKER_01Of a movie that he made that's not been taken over by a studio. Uh well, I don't know.
SPEAKER_05I it just the way that his movies are cut, I mean, overwhelms any directing most of the time.
SPEAKER_04I find it very funny, but in Universe and this, they keep their giant um world-ending viruses in a little jar that looks like a DNA helix.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, that is that is kind of funny on their part.
SPEAKER_04And it's like you'd find sort of like virus.
SPEAKER_05It would be a what? A brain?
SPEAKER_04It'd be a brain. Did you think it'd be a funny nod to the zombies, but also that affects their brain? It doesn't rewrite for DNA.
SPEAKER_00That would be horrible. Then they're too aware of what they're developing.
SPEAKER_04I suppose it does rewrite their DNA, because then you get the mutant G virus people.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's a lot of different types of zombies.
SPEAKER_04I love the like the immediate start of by the way, the dogs will be in this. It's a thing everyone knows from Resident Evil 1.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you got dogs.
SPEAKER_04They never put in the giant spiders. Which I see is a bit of a letdown.
SPEAKER_05That would have been cool, but it would have looked terrible. They wouldn't have done it well.
SPEAKER_04No, you've never seen it.
SPEAKER_05Because I think the dogs they did in this movie by just hanging meat off the dogs.
SPEAKER_04Basically. So you're saying you couldn't buy like a little tarantula and put some like mints on them and then just film them really, really, really close.
SPEAKER_05You wanna do you wanna do for scale? That's very funny. Yeah. That could be good.
SPEAKER_04Well, I highly doubt this movie has the CGI budget for Big Spider.
SPEAKER_05No, not at all. I think Paul W.S. Anderson would have been a pretty fantastic TV director.
SPEAKER_01I could see that.
SPEAKER_05His aesthetic really fits a lot of television shows. Like, he's not pushing it too far, but he also is like this is a cool tone of blue he's using here.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the famous resident evil blue tone that everyone knows of.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_04So that guy looks like you. There was a guy in that shot outside the lift, and that was you. It was you with a little shaggy.
SPEAKER_01That was me. Oh fuck. This is how I die.
SPEAKER_04As a kid, I kind of found this horrifying. Anytime as a child, I would see um elevator lifts. I would always think of this movie.
SPEAKER_00This movie?
SPEAKER_05I was thinking of is it final destination three? That they have the hook hand. Yeah, there's a lift. Someone gets caught on the inside and then they get split in half.
SPEAKER_04As it goes up, are you not thinking of the escalator from Final Destination 4?
SPEAKER_05No, there's 1000% a Final Destination elevator death, because there's a weird guy with a bunch of hook hands in a this is gonna sound like I'm lying to you, but there's a guy there's a creepy guy who's a red herring and he has a bunch of hook hands in a basket, and you think that he's gonna do something sus. And then I think the lady slips and her hair gets stuck on one of the hook hands, and then the elevator starts going up.
SPEAKER_04What final destination things are you watching?
SPEAKER_05I don't know, but they they're acting like he's the creepy guy, and the hook hands play into it, but it's he's not creepy for having a bin of hook hand. I swear to god, this is a real thing.
SPEAKER_04I think you're making us up, man. I am not some strange dream you've seen after you've met someone with a hook hand.
SPEAKER_05Look, whether or not this is some sort of feverish imaginary memory that I'm having, I can't say, but I'm not lying to you. I know that much. But see Am I lying to myself?
SPEAKER_04Maybe it sounds there, you were back again. Okay, but Chris. See, in this when did you watch this? Were you young when you first saw this movie?
SPEAKER_05Um 16. Yeah, it must have been in high school. Not too young.
SPEAKER_04You know, I'm looking at the dead before this.
SPEAKER_05Sean of the Dead was my first zombie movie.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I watched Sean of the Dead as a child. My zombie movies were like the first three of this. Shawn of the Dead and I'm Dead. Uh fuck. What's that one called? Uh Zombieland.
SPEAKER_00Oh, Zombieland I liked. Yeah, I saw that in theaters. That's 2011, I think.
SPEAKER_01Is it 2011? Was it that late? This came out.
SPEAKER_002007.
SPEAKER_04So I was not that early. Yeah, this is an old ass movie.
SPEAKER_05Oh, this, yeah, yeah, yeah. Zombie Land came out 2009. Okay, in between.
SPEAKER_04See if I think elevators and horror movies, I think this scene, because I'd it must have just had an effect on me as a child that this like burned so badly into my brain. Listen, as a child, I never watched um is it lift or elevator or devil? It was one of those. I never watched Devil until I was older, but I always remembered seeing the DVD of it in a shop of just being a red. What do you call them lifts or elevators? I assume lifts a British elevator.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, elevator.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I get that it elevates you, but it also lifts you.
SPEAKER_00That's true. Yeah, it does both. Yeah, that's a good that's a good opening.
SPEAKER_04But the thing is, just fucked up, so if you think about it, escalator does not escalate you. You kind of slow down on a lot of them.
SPEAKER_05That's true. And you're still the same person you were when you got on it.
SPEAKER_04Whether you think you're gonna have a physical transformation.
SPEAKER_00This is excessive.
SPEAKER_04It's so strange that I guess. What did she do?
SPEAKER_05She passed out in the shower? She could have died, she could have cracked her skull open on the marble there.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's a very, very, very do you know what's a fucked up thing? Look at that. Okay, it's uh marble. It looks like it should be a wet room, but it's not a wet room, it's just a weird shelf she's in. But there's no grip map. Like, even if there wasn't she's definitely dying at some point. I still I forget what the mystery of this movie is, like, entirely. Every time I watch it, I have no idea what is going on.
SPEAKER_05Um her the guy that she doesn't remember James Pierrefoy, I think, is her husband, but he's also not. She doesn't remember that they're married, but he's a secret agent, so it doesn't also matter that they're married because he was lying to her.
SPEAKER_04Something is this supposed to be the Spencer Mansion, but not I think so.
SPEAKER_05I think it's just like a very brief homage. That's what I mean. That the closest you get to adaptations in the movies is just references. And Welcome to Raccoon City has a lot of references, but it's still not a good Resident Evil movie at all. I'm hoping the Zack Krager one just makes you feel like it's just a kid, basically, as the main character. So I'm hoping you just feel really tense the whole time watching it. Instead of it being an action movie, like a lot of these are.
SPEAKER_04I'm assuming once these soldiers come in, there's gonna be a lot of exposition.
SPEAKER_05We we briefly slipped past they don't know, uh they don't know what happened yet, do they? They just know that something went wrong. So we might not even be getting virus until halfway through this movie.
SPEAKER_04Oh good god. I might just start drinking.
SPEAKER_00Maybe we need to run into apocalypse also.
SPEAKER_04I've never heard anyone more accurate like accurately replicate Mike Judge's butthead laugh.
SPEAKER_00Uh I don't know.
SPEAKER_05I I couldn't do it on command if you asked me to.
SPEAKER_04She's like, it is really reference city when you look at it, because she's wearing Ada Wong's dress. That's clearly the Spencer Mansion. That statue is from RE2, and now we're about to get the dog jump scale. If we did Resident Evil references, we'd be four drinks in right now. Is that is that is it is it getting changed? I can add three shots. Hold on, Jura. How much is in this? There's three shots left in this gym.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's a scary amount. That's like 40%.
SPEAKER_00Oh shit. Alright, yeah, we're gonna pour out a couple.
SPEAKER_04That pop is such a good noise. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Let's add references into mentions of virus.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, this is gonna go badly. Okay, uh there's so much gin in this pot, I cannot add more cola. Let's give us a little taste test. Again, this has been open for about five years.
SPEAKER_05I just poured shots for this, so I can retain my coke to shot ratio in the oven.
SPEAKER_04Wow. Oh I don't give a lord. There's many alcohols that a man can drink, but I've never seen a man be able to drink pink gin straight, but women can do it.
SPEAKER_01No problem. Women are tough. Yeah, but women wouldn't ever drink like vodka straight, but a man would do that if it was his only option.
SPEAKER_04I don't even think it's like a sexist pink thing. I don't know if it's something to do with the taste in it. We can just handle we can drink a pink gin like juice, and I don't get it.
SPEAKER_01Do we consider this a a a hunk, a hunk, uh uh that guy reference?
SPEAKER_00No, none of this so far is References.
SPEAKER_01Yo, crash.
SPEAKER_05Am I also hoping they don't make a reference?
SPEAKER_03Yes. He's got the guns from Resident Evil. He's got a shit fan.
SPEAKER_05Fuck, dude. No, don't kill us. We have to be discerning about this. Imagine you lady, there's a lady in Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_04Look, well, he must know who Alice is. If he's like, you he's trying to get her to do a job or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he knows she he knows she's fucked.
SPEAKER_04He's like, yeah, you still you still have a side effects. I feel like if we have anything.
SPEAKER_00I think she and James Pierfoy were already in the mansion.
SPEAKER_05I'm trying to remember. It's yeah, like it's all on purpose. Like this team of people doesn't know what's happening, but the whole they are being led in here by Umbrella in the first place, you know?
SPEAKER_04Oh, because it's a second woman. Second woman, just like just like Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_05God damn it. Uh I think this team going down there is what releases the virus. I think they have to break the safety protocols.
SPEAKER_04Oh, you're so right, because of quarantine.
SPEAKER_01Or you're gonna see you know you know what's going on.
SPEAKER_05I guess it makes action horror before I yeah, it's some like really low lo-fi action movie. It just happens to be horror this time.
SPEAKER_04I love that we go from like the big gothic manor to just someone's warehouse with some boxes wrapped in tinfoil and a CGI train.
SPEAKER_05Gotta love a big train though.
SPEAKER_04That's that's it. No, that's digitally ordered in some way. Did you see how smooth it looked? That's a fucking mid-garde train from Final Fantasy VII.
SPEAKER_05To be fair, I'm watching this in in you know 2D.
SPEAKER_04Look at that, Chris. That's like smooth on the outside. There's something there's something fishy.
SPEAKER_00I'll look at it next time.
SPEAKER_04Our boy's about to take us into the Sector VII slumps. You can tell that Final Fantasy VI's really struck a chord with me recently, so I'll fucking talk about.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, I didn't get the reference. I'm I'm happy.
SPEAKER_04I feel like you should at least no references to FF7. It's like the most famous game ever made, it's not GTA.
SPEAKER_05I know Cloudstrife, Sephiroth. Is Tifa Lockhart a Final Fantasy VII character?
SPEAKER_04She is. She's she's the one that everyone goes big boobs, even though she's got like even at the most egregious average size boobs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know Erith. That's I know the Buster Sword.
SPEAKER_04Buster more like more like more like busting busting your mother. I feel like if I've seen you in a your mom joke with your mother, it makes it infinitely worse.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it makes it sound like creepier somehow.
SPEAKER_00Your mother.
SPEAKER_04Look at that train, Chris. Why is it so smooth?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it looks a little funky. It does.
SPEAKER_04This looks identical to the FF7 trains in the cutscene.
SPEAKER_05Do you love a vehicle in a movie? But like an on-rails vehicle, not a car, but like a train that people that is a setting of its own, like this. This is one of my favorite.
SPEAKER_04I think the vehicle itself needs to have something to it. It can't just be your standard public transport.
SPEAKER_05No, because have you seen Ghosts of Mars? They have the standard public transport train in that, and I love it.
SPEAKER_04What but is it in a situation where it's out of its element?
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, there's zombie ghosts on Mars chasing a train. So I would say out of its element, whatever.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but to me, take something like train to Busan. It's the zombies are cool and it's a good claustrophobic environment, but being on a train doesn't really affect it for me because it's just a standard train going a standard route whereas there happens to be people on it.
SPEAKER_01What that's I like that though.
SPEAKER_04I like that it's I get that's the point I'm not saying like I'm saying like a vehicle like that doesn't stand out to me. It doesn't excite me despite being a titular like the title's location.
SPEAKER_00I think that's a shortcoming of your own.
SPEAKER_05And I think you should investigate that on your own time. I just like going on a little adventure in a movie. That's all. I like getting on a little thing and feeling like I'm on a roller coaster of some sort.
SPEAKER_04Completely ignored, completely ignored what I just said. Okay. Because it's possible we may have said virus and I've not been paying attention.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_04It's very strange if things you choose to reference in this movie. Like we don't reference um like green herbs or shit, to my knowledge. You think being like 2002, one of them would be like, uh, it wouldn't hurt that bad, just let me smoke a wee bit of my mystery.
SPEAKER_05That'd be cool. Did I miss a reference by the way when my audio cut out?
SPEAKER_04I don't think so. Did your audio cut out?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, just for a second there. I didn't hear whatever the last thing you said was.
SPEAKER_04I was just talking about the green hairdress. And I made a your mom joke, but I don't think I don't think it came across.
SPEAKER_05It was the your mom. It was the your mom joke, I missed.
SPEAKER_04I hope it got picked up by Craig, because I quite I quite enjoyed that one. Definitely did. Hey. My boy Craig, he was laughing. He was laughing.
SPEAKER_00Craig's always here for it.
SPEAKER_04We fucked up if one day they implement like AI voices to it and he responds.
SPEAKER_05Fuck, I hate that. They won't tell us either. He'll just respond two hours into a podcast. Well, we're tired and oh god. I don't need that.
SPEAKER_04Well, so much of this set, Chris, but is actually just a random warehouse with the umbrella stick on the room.
SPEAKER_05And I love that James Pierre Foy and this other guy are just in the most random clothes as well. They're not even in like reference clothes or anything. He's in civilian clothes and the other guy's in office clothes.
SPEAKER_04We consider them talking here about the umbrella corporation, a reference, or is that that's just part of the plot?
SPEAKER_05That's just the story, yeah.
SPEAKER_04That's just the story, okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_05That's why we added the references in, though, because we're not getting a lot of virus yet. I'm sure we'll get a bunch of both leading in soon.
SPEAKER_04I want to call out the scope and sweat.
SPEAKER_05I want to call out my boy, Colin Salmon. This guy, the leader of the squad here. He's also an alien versus predator. I like him. I think he's in is he in Hannah with Eric Bana? He might not be.
SPEAKER_01That might be a VP as well, wasn't it?
SPEAKER_05One more time. Oh, yeah, he did. WS Anderson did.
SPEAKER_04It must just be his mate. But that also makes you good though.
SPEAKER_05I like him. He's also Colin Salmon, I would say, is on that level of like great for a television actor. You know? I don't mean that in an insulting way. It's also a different type of actor. But he strikes me more as a television guy. If you can't put on a movie poster, Colin's they don't call enough attention to this fucking thermite drill thing they use to cut this door open. I've never noticed that before. That's cool as hell.
SPEAKER_04I like that okay. Right now we're showing that the nerve gas released in the shower, okay? So that would imply that they have chosen where it is. So that would imply that these people watched her in the shower and then went, do you know where's the best place to put her unconscious? On this solid marble slab.
SPEAKER_01Crazy.
SPEAKER_00Because she should have died.
SPEAKER_01She should have hit her head on something.
SPEAKER_04So is it not weird for Anderson to be like, oh, I got your starring role in my movie, but for your very first scene, I need your boobs out, and then it will never happen again in all seven of these other films.
SPEAKER_05Uh I don't know if it's maybe it's weird, but it's not surprising, I guess. Oh, I guess she's a model.
SPEAKER_04I'm sure she's done noon model, but I don't think I've seen a lot of I've seen a lot of Mile Jokovic's movies. I don't think she's ever got a boobzoot in anything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the fifth element.
SPEAKER_04She has a bib zoot in the fifth element?
SPEAKER_00She yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_04Definitely.
SPEAKER_05Definitely. Listen to me, man. Definitely, definitely. Definitely.
SPEAKER_04Got a thing to do.
SPEAKER_05I am so excited. This is the best scene in this movie.
SPEAKER_00Oh. No, wait. They're getting to it though, right?
SPEAKER_04Is the scene that you're referencing, Chris? A little corridor? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I thought that's what they just broke open. They have to see the elevators everyone died in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it's also really good in Is Apocalypse the third one? The corridors in Apocalypse? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's I'm gonna spawn because no one will give a shit. Remember the villain of Apocalypse? He's turning into the professor from Resident Evil 2. And then he's like immortal, and they have to kill him in a lab.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I didn't remember that. I remember they come back to this facility in the final chapter, which is fun.
SPEAKER_04Let me guess, the little girl there is like, you destroyed the protocols 20 years ago.
SPEAKER_05Something like that, yeah. Have you seen all of these movies?
SPEAKER_04I see the thing is I know I've seen one, two, three, four, and five. But it's it's up to seven, isn't it? Five, six, and seven. I've maybe seen I can I genuinely might only be six, I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_05I don't think these movies are good. I don't know if I'd recommend them to anyone. I kinda love these movies, they're very easy for me to watch.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but I feel like this is definitely a stoner movie because the plots don't matter.
SPEAKER_05Oh, yeah. Because it's just like people dying and spoilers for the final chapter. Uh, do you mind spoilers for it? I assume not.
SPEAKER_04No, not at all.
SPEAKER_05Ruby Rose gets like sucked into a giant fan and turned into meat chunks.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you put it on spider.
SPEAKER_00It took me a second. It took me a second.
SPEAKER_04I think Millie Yokovic in this movie looks so much different than she doesn't any other movie. I don't know what is. I think it's just a blonde hair and a red dress. It looks spectacular.
SPEAKER_05She does look spectacular. I mean, she looks spectacular in the future. I think her hair she shows her forehead more recently.
SPEAKER_01Her hair is more forehead.
SPEAKER_05No, not at all. Just she doesn't have the the bangs as much anymore. She has her hair very pulled back.
SPEAKER_04It's kind of funny, but in the later one she has uh more I don't know if that's bangs or a fringe or what, but just the hair. No, that's the fringe. Bangs, bangs is when it's like the little line of hair.
SPEAKER_05The one yeah, that's what I thought. Okay. That's Zoe De Chanel hair.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's bangs.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05She she's doing more ponytail stuff later rather than having the fringe Bob.
SPEAKER_04Is she? I thought she had like the stereotypical like lesbian sideswap hair.
SPEAKER_05Maybe. I don't remember. I just mean that it's like shorter on the sides.
SPEAKER_04It's very possible that in my brain I am conflating Ruby Rose and Milo Yokovic's character into the same person.
SPEAKER_05Maybe, maybe. It's funny seeing Ruby Rose in future Resident Evil. Because that last movie is set like after the whole world goes apocalypse. So Ruby Rose in that setting makes no sense, and that's funny.
SPEAKER_04No, do you know what's funny? The third movie, the world ended, and then they somehow still made like four.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's what's so dumb is the world ended, and then they went back to like it's still ending, and then in the final chapter, it's like President Wesker. There are demon bats everywhere in the world. The last vestige of humanity is in the White House with all these turrets.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I took them all at the same time.
SPEAKER_04Oh, ain't you lucky? I'm trying to sit this down so I don't think this was four shots. I think I might be on like a six or a seven here.
SPEAKER_05Oh shit. No, I put them in a separate glass because I didn't want to drink too much soda to start with. And because I'm also drinking uh a mix of a cold brew from earlier, a latte from earlier, and a cold brew from just now.
SPEAKER_04My man, you're gonna be shitting. You're gonna be shitting so bad.
SPEAKER_05Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'll have a good birthday.
SPEAKER_04I get it, I like how this is yet another set where we're like, okay, now it's a corridor, but we've got a smoke machine.
SPEAKER_05I do like all the wires and tubes in this corridor.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but typically if you see big wires and tubes, you go, this is gonna be some sick body horror. But we don't really get that in this.
SPEAKER_05This guy has been in something else. The the other the other other other white guy in the office outfit.
SPEAKER_04The one in the suit, like the short?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. The thing is, I I've been looking up IMDb pages of things I've been watching. I've been watching some garbage lately, and he popped up in some pressure always watching some garbage, man.
SPEAKER_04You're never watching. You always come to me and you're like, ah, I've been struggling to watch movies recently, and then when you do it's like three and all one and a half, and I found this on Amazon.
SPEAKER_05One AI Anaconda reboot that's genuinely so bad that I didn't actually watch the whole thing. That's maybe the only movie I vlogged on Letterboxd that I haven't finished.
SPEAKER_01What is that? Is that like a liquor?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's the liquor.
SPEAKER_01Do we count the liquor in this? Fuck. Uh do we know it's a liquor yet?
SPEAKER_04I mean, I think there's liquors in this movie, aren't there?
SPEAKER_05There are, so I guess we have to count it, but then we don't take a shot later when it actually shows up as a liquor.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I'm just gonna Joe, this is healthy.
SPEAKER_05Also It's a great double on Tandra, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Liquor?
SPEAKER_01So we kinda have to liquor and more like like your mom.
SPEAKER_04That is not one shot, oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, poured a little more too.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna be fucking cried. I'm gonna have a good sleep boss.
SPEAKER_05Down the hatch.
SPEAKER_04It's just a shame that the entire movie seems to have like a portwood episode budget. Everything's just a corruption.
SPEAKER_00It does have a torchwood feeling.
SPEAKER_04I hope at one point we like circle back to this like super 2000s edge where everything's just like sleek and leather and shiny. What like super high contrast, super blue and white, bright, like internet vibes.
SPEAKER_05Dude, I'm getting further away from understanding what you're talking about, the more words you say.
SPEAKER_04But see, that's the thing. Whenever we have a conversation, I pr like I live on the internet, but whenever I talk about internet things to you, you're you're gone.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, I'm too much of a recluse. Yeah, but you're like when were you born? You were born late 90s?
SPEAKER_04That's probably 1996. Yeah, it's just perfect internet, like era society.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I did a lot of internet socializing. I played a lot of World of Warcraft when I was in middle school. I guess just not not memes, not that culture as much. I haven't been on social media much.
SPEAKER_01So but how did you not get like sucked in? Built different.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. I don't think I could go without Reddit. Like any other social media, I can go without.
SPEAKER_05Oh, Reddit's the one that caught me. Reddit's the one that caught me, I'd say. I like that you can just look at people talking about stuff. It's just like a forum. I was on a when I was like 13, I was on a forum for actually I was 12, it was legally supposed to be 13, so I told them I was. I was on a forum for modifying Nerf guns, and people would take apart nerf guns and remove the air restrictors so they would shoot harder and hurt and leave welts, and I would go to nerf meetups to do nerf wars, is what they called them. Like paintball, but with nerf guns. But I was like 12 years old, and these people were like 16 to 20.
SPEAKER_04You realize what you could do is you just buy an airsoft rifle or a really strong BB gun.
SPEAKER_05Well, now I want to play yeah, airsoft or paintball, but at the time I had a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_00Alright. I gotta stop here because this scene is so good.
SPEAKER_04It's the scene, it's the good scene, and but the gore is CGI, and that's fucking terrible looking.
SPEAKER_05It does suck. Yeah. I'm glad I'm watching this in low quality. I feel like 1080p. That's cool, but it looks so bad. The acting in this, especially if her head, if she doesn't blink, if she's not moving, why not make a prosthetic for that shot, you know? Oh, I love that I love that he jumps and it goes up with him. It's so cruel. What a great choice to do that.
SPEAKER_04It's like the entire movie is not fuck Chris. Isn't a Resident Evil reference? This isn't Resident Evil 4.
SPEAKER_00What is it?
SPEAKER_04When like towards the end, um Leon has to dodge a laser beam hallway as a quick thing.
SPEAKER_05Fucking hell. Okay. I know there's an Ava One Ada One DLC that references this movie. Ava One. His eyeball melting? Pretty cool in the CGI, I have to admit.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I'm adding slightly less on a shot this time to try and make up for my maybe like four extra shots.
SPEAKER_00I'm just sipping my mixed drink. I'm not going for a full shot.
SPEAKER_04It'll even out because I poured two last night.
SPEAKER_00So we've got this whole bottle of whiskey.
SPEAKER_01I'm warm as fuck.
SPEAKER_00Have you ever played Fistful of Frags?
SPEAKER_04I think we're supposed to be talking about this movie. Nothing, nothing has been about this movie in the Sleep.
SPEAKER_05Have you though? The longer you don't answer, the longer we're gonna be talking about not this movie.
SPEAKER_04I'll leave it up to a mystery for you.
SPEAKER_05Fucking hell, it's good.
SPEAKER_04Not even I know you like Resident Evil 2. But what ones have you played?
SPEAKER_05Uh I played a decent amount. Not I would say like four hours of the first one, but then my PC broke, and I have to fix it on the Steam Deck because the uh cutscenes don't play properly. I really like the first one. I've finished the second one only one playthrough. I've only played the sec like half of the second playthrough. I played a lot of the third one until I got progress gated on a nemesis boss fight because I did not have enough ammo to beat him. I played this is the best one. I played a lot of Resident Evil 4, but I played it on the Wii, and I played it with a uh housing that I put my controller and nunchuck in that was shaped like a shotgun. That I got with my Cabela's big game hunting game. So I played Resident Evil 4 with like a shotgun looking control. No. No.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_05I finished five with a friend.
SPEAKER_04Five is cool too.
SPEAKER_05Five is really fun. I played Chris, obviously. Six, I have not played, but I it seems fun.
SPEAKER_04I just don't see any reason. Sex isn't even fun. Sex is just bad.
SPEAKER_05No, Charlie. Who are you talking to? You know, it's it seems like schlocky action. But I don't see any reason to play it before I played literally every other Resident Evil game. So I haven't played seven, I haven't played Village. I would play one, three, four, seven, and village before I played. Oh, I finished nine also uh before I played six, but I do want to play six.
SPEAKER_04And I said, Oh, I'll pay for the podcasting this week.
SPEAKER_01You put the money that you're gonna give me into playing was other Resident Evil. Did that happen? That did happen. Fucking hell.
SPEAKER_04Alright, well I first agreed to pay for one month, and then I've ended up the benefactor on the sponsorship.
SPEAKER_05I guess I have work to do on that. We're gonna check. We're gonna do how about this, Charlie? We're gonna do a podcast episode on the Resident Evil franchise after I played all of the Resident Evil games, which I now owe you. Which I'm gonna include revelations in because I want to play those.
SPEAKER_04I don't think five was out yet.
SPEAKER_05Oh, interesting. Yeah, fuck. I mean, this doesn't reference anything. I don't think Zach Gregor's movie is gonna reference much. I feel like the guy will mostly he'll stumble into a re uh an umbrella facility. Right? That's gotta happen in the movie, but besides that, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04I don't even think we come across like an umbrella scientist's like house or something.
SPEAKER_00Interesting. I think the third actor's gonna be in a facility.
SPEAKER_04Imagine it ends with like he thinks he's escaped, and then fucking a tyrant or nemesis stops out and just have I would love that so much.
SPEAKER_05That's what that's the thing, is I kinda hope he dies because that would establish the threat of the Resident Evil universe, which is you basically have to be superhuman to survive. Like the only people that live are Greek gods or superheroes.
SPEAKER_04I don't know, Rebecca's kind of normal. Um Ethan Winter was normal until he became a mushroom man.
SPEAKER_02Fair.
SPEAKER_04Don't worry about it, you'll figure you'll you'll learn about that.
SPEAKER_05Rebecca Chambers is her name, right? I don't remember who that is, but I remember that. Okay, fair. I've done a good job avoiding too much story information. Not that it matters the most. Oh see, the other thing I was suggesting was how many times, you know, drink every time Michelle Rodriguez gets bit. Because she gets bit so many times in this movie. So many other people die or turn into zombies, and she just keeps getting bit.
SPEAKER_04I'm so I'm so I'm still trying to get for the scope. It keeps filling up every time I put it in. Also, I assume later on they probably established that Michelle Rodriguez is immune to the it seems like the T virus.
SPEAKER_01I don't know that they ever established that.
SPEAKER_05That's crazy that this guy lives. I forgot that this guy made it through the hallway.
SPEAKER_04Wait, Chris, did you see that? See that shot of him shooting that zombie in the head?
SPEAKER_05No, what happened? It just didn't die.
SPEAKER_04It was three shots, but it was the same shot, just looked three times.
SPEAKER_00Like it's that's funny as hell.
SPEAKER_04It's like it was Anderson like in the editing with like we have money for one gunshot.
SPEAKER_05That's what I mean. I feel like his the uh somehow the editing of his movies really takes them down. Whereas if he could maybe he when he's directing, he relies on thinking, oh, in editing we could do this and that too much. Because someone like John Carpenter works with so many limitations and makes stuff that you could make an argument that it's technically bad, and I I would listen to you, but it's still some of the most notable horror output, you know, in cinema, basically, because of the creativity and the constraints that he had.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but the thing is, people could argue John Carpenter is technically bad, which I would mostly agree on.
SPEAKER_05That's what I'm saying. I would listen to that. You're not technically wrong, but he also I would push back and say that he still achieved a lot, even if it's technically bad.
SPEAKER_04You can't but like there must be elements of his technically bad that are intentional for him to have come out and went, oh by the way, I made the thing, everyone. Come look at the thing.
SPEAKER_05The thing, I part of it, I've watched a lot of behind the scenes stuff. There's like two feature-length documentaries on the 4K. Uh, this looks so bad, the CGI zombie makeup.
SPEAKER_04Compare that to pause for a sec.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. What time code are you at?
SPEAKER_044153.
SPEAKER_00I'm at 56, 57, 58.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah, no, no, we're kind of we're on par now. The pods helped. Okay, say say your piece.
SPEAKER_05Uh compare this to like The Walking Dead sucks as a show, but though we've talked about this before on the pod. Uh the work Regna Kataro does is god tier on those zombies. Compare this makeup to that, and it's just humiliating, frankly.
SPEAKER_04You know what? I'm watching this and I feel like there's some shots where they're definitely using a machine gun. But I feel like most of these guns are supposed to be a single round gun. Like a a single fire setting. And then we go back to the triple shot earlier, and I'm like, was he only supposed to shoot him once? Were these people supposed to be conserving ammo in the film and then they've edited it into an action movie?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's a great point.
SPEAKER_05He doesn't this is maybe the worst part of this movie, is that it feels the need to go into the early 2000s like doom metal sequence.
SPEAKER_04But I'd put that on Marlon Manson making the soundtrack.
SPEAKER_01I wouldn't put that on anyone else.
SPEAKER_04Like he makes a soundtrack, okay, and then the editors have this the music and then they have this movie, and then we have them make something of it.
SPEAKER_05But he's deciding to make these people shoot and fall back like they're doing military tactics. You know, they're not they're not picking up things around them to bar zombies. Michelle Rodriguez just hopped up on a thing and did like a sexy leg t leg lift before shooting zombies.
SPEAKER_04But don't die when you shoot them.
SPEAKER_05I wasn't even gonna really harp on this until you said conserve ammo, because they are just wasting all of their ammunition, which is the main part. So I don't know what it would be, but whatever it is, it would involve something in their environment so that they're not relying just on the finite amount of ammunition and resources that they brought with them.
SPEAKER_04Also, these guys are like special ops, they should have immaculate aim. Edge shirt should not be an issue for all these people in this close arrangement.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. That's something I hate in a lot of zombie things, is that people just keep shooting at the chest. Like that's a funny they played a zombie growling noise while Mila Jovovich was grabbing main guy.
SPEAKER_04Little side tangent, but the Oklahoma city bomber, he didn't even get into special action. What the fuck? An insane shot in the military. He was crazy.
SPEAKER_01He blew up a tank in a moving vehicle with a sniper.
SPEAKER_00You should watch Jack Reacher.
SPEAKER_04So hard that the guy blew up and killed the guy next to him.
SPEAKER_05That's nuts. Oh, here he goes. Here's the guy I knew would die really soon.
SPEAKER_04Is the where is the shot originally from? Because this like scene is referencing so many things of the guy like drowning in the zombies.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I think it's just honestly.
SPEAKER_05I think it's just one of those things that's just sort of cultural osmosis. Like, this is what it looks like for someone to get not only drowned by zombies, but let's say like a nobleman being surrounded by peasants and ter torn apart.
SPEAKER_04This looks so that liquor does not look good.
SPEAKER_05No, I remembered it looking better than that.
SPEAKER_04I remember the liquor in the second movie looking half decent, but that again I was a child.
SPEAKER_05I didn't remember that there's one in the second movie. Nemesis looks good in that movie because it's practical.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Fucking hell, yeah. I love Nemesis in that movie. Which is why I would still be down to watch it if you're willing to after this. But this is longer than we talked about.
SPEAKER_01My gent is done and my rum is getting there. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_04We'll see how it goes. But do you not remember the second one? Um Jill Valentine. That I also remember looking like just normal. That is not a good, that is clearly like a bad cosplay. That woman in the chunks.
SPEAKER_05She the cosplay, yeah. The the costume is bad, but Sienna Gillary looks incredible in that movie.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but you can put a hot person in bad clothes and he can look hot, but they're still wearing bad clothes.
SPEAKER_00I agree on both counts.
SPEAKER_05I'm not gonna disagree with anything here. She's a hot person in bad clothes, but the clothes are also like a low percentage of fabric.
SPEAKER_04So shorts, but the red doesn't match the dress and an oversized leather jacket, that's not a good fit. But Mila Jokovic is a good-looking woman, so it works for her.
SPEAKER_01I wouldn't say it's a good fit still. No, yeah, I agree. Do we consider it?
SPEAKER_00I feel like the shorts are just because the the dress is too high-cut.
SPEAKER_04Oh, but so Anderson will show his wife's chibs, but won't show her underwear.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I don't know what you want me to say to that, to be honest.
SPEAKER_04Maybe we should we should reach out. Ask him a question.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, let's let's put him on the on the stand about it.
SPEAKER_04Do you consider this a reference to Resident Evil 2's uh parking lot scene?
SPEAKER_05Yes. Honestly, because dogs. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04No, but I mean specifically like where the Dobermans were, and then you come back and then they've just been ripped open.
SPEAKER_00Fuuu! You're so right. Yeah, it is. Alright, I'm drinking. I'm drinking the rest of it.
SPEAKER_04I know my shit. I know my shit I'm gonna be so drunk by the end of this movie. It's it's all going in the same drink. The drink's not finishing, drink keeps going.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you're you're doing the drink of Theseus.
SPEAKER_04I wonder how much rum not rum grandfather's drink is left in this. See, I argue this is the best scene in the movie because it's really bad. But also Miliokovic lie kicking a zombie Doberman in the jaw is metal as fuck.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, rules.
SPEAKER_04And she does it again in the third one with like two of them.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I forgot that. It's just all edited so bad, and that's that's my problem with Event Horizon 2. I cannot wait for us to do an Event Horizon episode because that's that's a movie that should be on my top ten, but I have problems with, but it's still I think a very unique and notable movie. I almost picked Event Horizon for this commentary, but Resident Evil felt like a better fun watch and also more relevant because we have the new movie coming out.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but the issue with Event Horizon is you're talking about half of a movie essentially when you're watching it. Which makes it difficult to talk about because you can't critique it or give it buffs because you're like, well, I don't know what the fuck a movie is supposed to be anyway.
SPEAKER_05It's not half a movie. The only lost footage is the hell scene.
SPEAKER_04All the horror stuff.
SPEAKER_05Sure, but it's it's gotta be like three to five minutes of really creepy stuff.
SPEAKER_04And even then, maybe it's what is there not like a whole section of the movie where Sam Neil's supposed to be in like hell?
SPEAKER_05Maybe I'm unaware of what the lost footage contains.
SPEAKER_04As far as I was aware of a significant chunk of that movie that's lost the time.
SPEAKER_05Interesting. Okay. Because I know I have the um I have the poster from Scream Factory. I was following when Scream Factory put out their release. They really put the work in. They delayed the release so that they could do research on where to find that extra footage. It is gone for all intents and purposes.
SPEAKER_04It won't be gone, it will be in some Russian guy's basement, and it will show you.
SPEAKER_05That's what fucking sucks. Yeah, like they aren't able to find it. I know it exists somewhere, but no one's ever gonna be able to see it, and that's very frustrating.
SPEAKER_04You're a white guy, I assume you watch like lost media videos of like people trying to hunt down random like kids shows and that we know from our youth, and like investigating that shit.
SPEAKER_05I do not, but I find that very interesting. I love Candle Cove, the season of Channel Zero, about that.
SPEAKER_04There was a fuck, I forget what it was called. There's a YouTuber that does videos on it, and he made like a whole hour and a half video talking about people hunting down a TV show from our youth and see the work that people put into this by like messaging people. And if there was like a it was a there was a creepypasta video where we're like, oh, there's a bug in old PCs but it won't delete videos properly, so we need to go about and find people that had PCs from that era that might have seen it, so we can try and reverse engineer the bug so we can try and find this creepypasta video, and I'm pretty sure it worked at one point.
SPEAKER_00That's cool.
SPEAKER_04So we've definitely said virus at some point and we've just we've missed it.
SPEAKER_00Alright, I'll take a drink.
SPEAKER_04No, crap no what's it like a third of the full bottle of rum and a third of a full bottle of jam fuck.
SPEAKER_05Nah. I don't I don't know that we're evened out because I'm at about half a bottle of whiskey.
SPEAKER_01Uh 50%. I think I'm a better pasture because I've got more alcohol venue, but it's both at like 40.
SPEAKER_05Ah, okay, fair. Speaking of, I'm gonna be right back. I'm gonna use the restaurant. I can still hear you. I have wireless headphones, I can still hear you.
SPEAKER_03The movie, the movie, timer.
SPEAKER_00I can still hear the movie.
SPEAKER_01See if I hear you taking a fucking shit during this runtime. Chris, you're always supposed to upload this to the internet at some point, and you're you're dropping a load. You know what?
SPEAKER_04I'm pausing the movie and we're gonna cut the remind me again why this guy's supposed to be nemesis at some point.
SPEAKER_05I forgot! I forgot he turns into nemesis.
SPEAKER_04Like like we we try and hearken back to him by going, remember in this movie? He has a wiggly arm.
SPEAKER_05So not notable. I forgot so much about him that I forgot I was looking up to see if I had seen him before in anything.
SPEAKER_01Do you know what his name is? No.
SPEAKER_04Remember in like the second one where Nemesis gets beard and then there's like a kind of horny moment between Mila and Nemesis? She's like, oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_05That's kind of why she kills him, is because he lets his guard down a little bit, right?
SPEAKER_04Also Nemesis getting killed by like a pole through the chest in this next movie. That's not a nemesis. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_05Very dumb. Eric Mabius.
SPEAKER_01Fucking hell. I was talking some nonsense. There was a virus, it came out. How am I gonna pull this? Hold on. I probably don't sound good over the mic. I'm at the point where shots are a splash. It's a splash of rum. A splash of rum. I don't have a shot glass, I can't measure shit. We've already been through you motherfuckers have like six different versions of a shot. Well my shot glass broke if it's any cancellation. Do you not but see if you buy a shot glass, do you not get like four in a pack?
SPEAKER_04Well if you bought a shot glass and it was just for one air.
SPEAKER_05I was dying over here. I had my mic muted, but I was coughing and sneezing. Whoa. Uh the shot glass I had was from uh Sour La Tav, so it was it had measurements up the side. You could use it for baking also.
SPEAKER_04Who responsibly drinks in the house? You don't need that unless you're in a pub.
SPEAKER_01That's just because legality. Well fair.
SPEAKER_00But you can use it for baking also.
SPEAKER_04Ooh! I almost spelt like so much drink over my steam deck, that would have been a bad No!
SPEAKER_05Oh the Steam Deck. At least it's alcohol and it'll hopefully evaporate quickly.
SPEAKER_01I feel like if you put alcohol inside electronics, it doesn't, it's not good for it. If you turn it off very quickly, maybe it would be good for it, like beneficial.
SPEAKER_04And then throw it in like one of those large packs of rice you get at supermarkets.
SPEAKER_01Maybe. They're going back to the Yeah, going back to the little girl. It's like, I am an AI.
SPEAKER_05That's what sucks. Is at its core, it's kind of interesting that Umbrella hired this mercenary team to unleash this virus. But in effect, this movie is a group of people going from one place to a second place to a third place and then back to a second place through the same sets. And that's it.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but would you call Anderson a prophetic visionary for making a bad AI? Oh shit. Is like British people?
SPEAKER_05No, because the AI is good in this movie, right? The AI is the good guy.
SPEAKER_01The Red Queen?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, she's trying to keep the virus from getting out, and these people make it get out, right? They undo the safety quarantine protocols because they want to leave. The Red Queen is trying to stop this from getting out.
SPEAKER_04You think like the super powerful little British girl with AI? I think we reveal in like the second one is like Burkin's daughter consciousness. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05It's Jerry Harris's daughter, right?
SPEAKER_04Again, like she's dying, and like the T virus is a cure for like her cancer or something. Is she not like super evil in the next few movies?
SPEAKER_01The the actual girl is not, but no, but the red eye I don't entirely remember, I guess.
SPEAKER_05I feel like she comes back in like the last one and she's like Well, yeah, I mean in the last last one, I'm pretty sure she comes back when they revisit and she is she does do what you joked about where she's like, it's been 20 years, you did all of this. I don't know. I don't remember that much. Because these movies the The thing that's fucked is I have a bad memory, and the movies I really like watching are not memorable. So they just fall out of my movie, or fall out of my movie, fall out of my head like sand through fingers.
SPEAKER_03I think that may just be an age thing. Because I feel like my my memory's getting worse.
SPEAKER_04Because I saw like a post earlier today was talking about how all the Wild Robot 2 is being confirmed, and I was like, what the fuck happened in the Wild Robot and out and it was two years ago?
SPEAKER_05Oh god. It's age combined with the amount of drugs we both do. I think this would be happening at like 50 for both of us if it weren't for the if it weren't for the drugs.
SPEAKER_03But that's why I love letterboxed, because so you can look back and go, oh yeah, I like that thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. It's really fucked up when you say it like that, but yeah. Well, that's the thing. That's what I haven't talked about on this podcast before. But what I use Letterboxd for is like a diary. So the a movie. If I have the time for it, every movie will have its own rating relative to my diary rating. I don't I'm not gonna stress about that because I already don't use it enough. But my diary rating is more about what I wanted in that moment. So if it's really fucking dumb and I'm really drunk, or I'm let's say a totally random example, watching Godzilla King of the Monsters on Acid, and I have a fantastic time because of that.
SPEAKER_00Maybe that'll be a five-star movie.
SPEAKER_04Because I find it harder to focus on them.
SPEAKER_05Oh, me too. That's the problem, is that's why the shitty movies are all I can focus on because I I'm okay losing attention for a bit. Or doing something else in the meantime.
SPEAKER_04Like, if I have two cocktails before the cinema, that movie is gonna feel three times at length, and I will not care by the end of it.
SPEAKER_05Interesting. I gotta smoke before I watch a movie in the theaters.
SPEAKER_04No. And it'll be so much more engaging. Oh my god, it feels like the runtime is like five hours long.
SPEAKER_05No, I love that. I want it to be the movie theater is like church. I want it to be an escape.
SPEAKER_00This, by the way, is the worst action scene in the movie, I think.
SPEAKER_01No, I'm kind of fucking with it. I like it. I like the kind of gringy vibe it's got gonna go. Okay, that's when it's getting munched.
SPEAKER_00When I say that, I don't mean it's just like awful, but I don't get a lot of um This is good. This is a good moment. She doesn't want to shoot her squad mate.
SPEAKER_03Uh butt in the fucking neck.
SPEAKER_05Yes. You look at recent movies like John Wick, there's a lot of environmental uh just like spatial awareness, I guess. And I remember that action scene specifically as just sort of happening. That's the problem with Paul W. S. Anderson movies, is they don't they are just presenting uh a tale to you. They don't make a lot of effort to exist in the world. He doesn't do that effort that what's funny is I feel like even John Carpenter doesn't buy into his worlds in that way, but he puts the effort into making it feel lived in and real in a small way, more so than Paul W. S. Anderson does, who why I think he would be a great TV director is because he adapts a concept great and he puts this kind of con the the this notion of energy and perspective into it, but there's no core at all a lot of the time. And Event Horizon, as far as I'm aware, was written by someone else. I think that was uh a blacklist script.
SPEAKER_04See, I think you're overthinking it. I think what Anderson does is he gets an okay budget to have good scenes, and he focuses on making scenes memorable, but he doesn't put too much effort into the lighting or the framing of his movies, so it gives him a cheap feel. So your brain goes, Oh, this feels like a TV movie, in which a TV movie is someone with a super small budget trying really hard, and this is someone with a very big budget just kind of doing uh whatever he feels like to make his wife caught.
SPEAKER_00Uh I guess so.
SPEAKER_04So end up with a similar level of quality, but but the thing is, at the end of the day, Anderson is he still with Mila because he's been doing a good job for each year.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's true. That's true. Should we drink because this guy died? Because no one's saying virus in this movie at all.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna drink more than I've been waiting.
SPEAKER_04See, this is your problem with shots, you should have just done like I did and keep adding to it.
SPEAKER_01It's a really, really, really large trick.
SPEAKER_04This is the second time we've had the man drowning in random zombies in the show of Vegas that doesn't want to shoot him scene.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it just doesn't resound at all.
SPEAKER_00I don't know, it's a good question.
SPEAKER_04Uh you know what uh I've I've exposed where I work before, I'm gonna say see in the back of my works walls on night shift. I was taking the walls off like these bright white clean panels, and inside I found an old building with like windows inside, and I was like, what the fuck is this? And like, yeah, it's just always like what do you mean? Like, why is there like a small house inside of walls? So that's terrifying.
SPEAKER_00That's horrible. I don't like that.
SPEAKER_04There's also just random doors in like our basement that leads to just like a corridor of brick with nothing else in it. There's a inner delivery room. If you go into there's a wooden door, if you open the wooden door, there is a shower room, like a like a imagine American like high school gym, like a wall of showers, there's no roof to it, it just leads up. And it's just like it looks like the fucking saw bathroom. With a single Americans know what Mr. Tumble is.
SPEAKER_05No. I want to continue with this Mr. Tumble conversation, but I do want to point out that that shot of this guy, it sounds like he shoots himself and then Mia Jovovich reacts to it, but the camera zooms in. The editing edits to a shot where the camera is way closer to her eyes. It's just so much less effective than let's say a shot where it holds on her face and slowly zooms in. Which he has done in this movie. It's just Paul WS Anderson is very fascinating to me, and I'm excited to talk about his movies more.
SPEAKER_04But Ellie, were you not criticizing the super high speed maximalism editing style?
SPEAKER_05I'm still criticizing that. I I think he could have done with less of it. But you were talking about Mr. Tumble.
SPEAKER_04Okay, Mr. Tumble, there's a man called Justin Fletcher, and he's famous in British um children's entertainment for being the character Mr. Tumble, whose entire like gimmick as his shows, he'll meet up with disabled children and he'll like uh take about for a day and they'll video some things and like he'll he knows uh BSL, yeah, British Sign Language, yeah, BSL, and like he teaches people BSL to help with disabled children, but just an old rotten Mr. Tumble teddy bear sat in this little shower room, the old rotten old rotten shower room, and it's just so scary because there's no lights in the room, so you use your flashlight fucking call looking at you.
SPEAKER_05Ew. The room I used to have my music class in in middle school had so I guess all of the schools I've gone to have been like townhouses modified. The the the music room in my middle school was This is so weird, by the way, her watching these ghosts walk by. Uh let's say there was the the area where my teacher would stand or where the piano would be, etc., which would take up like half the room. And then there would be like a side of the room that would be taken up that we wouldn't use, that we'd watch movies in or whatever, there was a TV there. And then there was something like stadium seating on the the other half of the used room.
SPEAKER_00And then maybe twelve feet.
SPEAKER_05No, I was a kid, so I was tiny. Eight feet to ten feet above the unused space was a doorway that you couldn't reach, that you couldn't use, that went nowhere.
SPEAKER_00There was just a door. And it creeped me out some I don't know, nobody could touch it. It was so high up.
SPEAKER_04And it didn't try and sneak in to get to it?
SPEAKER_05Not that I knew of. I wish look, if I went to eighth grade in that school, I probably would have. That's when I started getting crazy, but no, I don't know. And it didn't, as far as I know, it didn't go anywhere in the school, which is weird.
SPEAKER_00So it was always it was something that made me think about ghosts, I guess.
SPEAKER_04I that's the thing, is past like not anyone in your class.
SPEAKER_05I wouldn't know. I would I'm sure somebody did. Past like 16 or 17, not even past 15, I would have had to check it out. But before that, I was on so many different medications and shit. I was just uh tumbling through life. So don't even worry about it.
SPEAKER_04Uh Ruins, I'm gonna go on a little side tangent here, but there was a kid in my class who was see we get the kids that aren't like we're not you couldn't tell we have issues from just talking to them, but they have severe issues. There was a kid like that in my high school class, yeah. But for some reason, the teachers let him have the keys to the school because apparently if he ran out of the class, it would go to the school, yeah. But he had like a set of keys, it would go into every room. So if he could go because they said it was to help calm him down if he went to another room. But what would happen is he would coerce me to come with him and sneak out of the classes and go into the the like the locked library and shit. And oh, I feel like see, that motherfucker would have had us in there, that would have been his like smoke spot or some shit. Because it wasn't even like he had issues, he was just a fucking asshole with a pants.
SPEAKER_05That's so grim.
SPEAKER_04The kid was like he he ended up getting expelled because he set the library on fire, which he tried to get me to do with him at one point, and that didn't happen. And then he also set the library on fire. Yeah, he set some of the books on fire, and then he stabbed a pupil with a pencil, so he ended up getting kicked out. Wow, always convinced me to sneak out and go, like, by the way, I have keys to all these little rooms over the building.
SPEAKER_05There was uh a kid in my Jesus Christ, dude. There was a kid in my high school who um held up a class with a pair of scissors because he couldn't find his phone and it was in his bag, I believe. But that person they the year before wrote in my yearbook, have fun, don't die.
SPEAKER_04With a pair of scissors, did someone not just clock them in the fucking face?
SPEAKER_05We had a lot okay, so look, we had a lot of uh I don't want to say soft teachers, because I don't think it's inherently negative to not want to fight people, but we did have one teacher who was like the equivalent of a navy SEAL where he came from. So there was a kid there was a kid who basically I went to a troubled school. I went to a high school with 70 kids total in in the grade. There was a kid who threatened to throw our dean down the a flight of stairs at some point, and our dean like arm locked him on the floor within let me think about it, about four seconds. It definitely was an appropriate reaction, but it was also incredible to witness.
SPEAKER_04I grew up in a Glasgow scheme, I think all our kids just had issues. I still have a like a little dot in my left arm from where a kid stabbed me with a pencil in the middle of flash.
SPEAKER_05Jesus. No, see, I grew up I I live in New York City where people like to pretend their kids don't have issues. That's the thing, is everyone has issues.
SPEAKER_01I don't think it's people pretend their kids don't have issues. I think most people are just bad parents.
SPEAKER_00Fair, yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_04I was just seen as us being assholes to each other.
SPEAKER_05That rules. I like that.
SPEAKER_04And Joe the fucking thing.
SPEAKER_05I wish I could stab them in the eyeball and remove that from their life forever. But you know.
SPEAKER_04Stole a DS?
SPEAKER_05Stole my DS out of my backpack.
SPEAKER_04Well, you're not throwing hands.
SPEAKER_05I didn't notice until it was gone. I would have, trust me. Oh, trust me, I have some darkness in me. I would have. There's I always tell people, if I get stabbed while I'm being mugged, I know it's a bad choice, but I will take the knife out of my stomach to stab the person who is mugging me, and then bleed out and die in the street. Because I am that angry. Trust me, if I saw somebody doing that, I would especially if I was a kid and wouldn't have gone to jail. I would I would have done something. See, that's the good side about Glasgow is. Yeah, I hate that. Like it's better that I didn't do anything because I was worried about the response. That's a better game.
SPEAKER_04I think I tried to steal a couple of things and got in trouble for it. And I remember you don't remember Bacchagon back in the day.
SPEAKER_05Back a gun? No.
SPEAKER_04It was like Pokemon, but it was little balls that you would throw out onto the cards and it would pop open into little monsters. Huh. I remember some kid tried to steal one of my friends' Back again because it was like carrier packs, and he put them all in his carrier pack and tried to run away. And I remember jumping his ass in like I must have been like 10. This was like a two 10-year-olds in a fist fight. I remember getting his shit back and the teacher being like fair enough, he stole his shit and feeling so validated. But I was like, you know what? I did win that shit.
SPEAKER_05This liquor looks so bad, by the way, and that's such a dumb way for James Pierfoy's character to die.
SPEAKER_04Do you mean lucky? I'm looking at Mulajokovic being like soaked and like knee high war. What time are you at right now?
SPEAKER_05I'm uh I'm at 117.50. Uh you're crazy then. Okay, there's a liquor right now. Anyway. I did get into a fight with a kid on a school bus because he stole a business card from me. I hit him with my shoe a bunch. I remember that much.
SPEAKER_04I think I got hit with a shoe once in prime, but against primary school, so this is like between four to like 11. I got hit with a shoe once, and I remember I smacked fuck out of that kid, and then I got in a lot of trouble. I got in a lot of trouble. I had an issue with biting my own arms, and then I remember having like a hallucination that I was bleeding, and I got in a lot of trouble for freaking out in the middle of class.
SPEAKER_05A hallucination is crazy getting in trouble for that. I remember talking to Dr. Shusklevsky about the kid I beat up for taking my it was a business card for a hot air balloon company that I found in a school bus that we were riding in.
SPEAKER_01You decided that was important enough to keep?
SPEAKER_00I guess, man.
SPEAKER_05I can't justify it, I can just mention it.
SPEAKER_04Well, only big beef we had in my later primary school was people were for some reason there was like a market of people drawing things, and then people would trade for like very low value um everyone's drawings and would try and collect them. And that caused some beef between Of it's like you've got that motherfucker's drawing, I want it. You you only spent five pence for it, I have to spend fifteen pence for it. That was like the only time there was like big, big, big beef in later primary school.
SPEAKER_05Are there any references that I missed by the way in like younger school? Did you just say I'm like a boomer?
SPEAKER_04No, I said were you ever like a dealer? Because I remember in early school what I would do is before I got five pounds to be able to get food for myself for my school, but what I would do is I would buy a lot of 20 pence um jawbreakers and I would sell them all for more than what.
SPEAKER_05Oh. That's what you mean by dealer. So I'm gonna say no, never was even thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_05What you just described a whole different thing than I imagined, so I'm gonna say no.
SPEAKER_04I explained my perspective of it.
SPEAKER_05Uh what that honestly, I was considering being a weed dealer in high school, but uh high school's fair enough, but I'm talking about like I say primary school, but for you that's like oh my middle school was fucked, dude. I was taking so many different medications. This liquor looks so bad. I was taking so many different medications for I don't know, depression, anxiety, sleep.
SPEAKER_04And you're lucky you get sleep medication. We don't get shit like that in the UK.
SPEAKER_05I mean, I guess, but at the same time, I then was in a place in my middle school. What I remember the most was besides a couple of more interpersonal things, being at a point where I was deciding to Again, I wish James Cheerfoy's character got a better end than this. Uh in middle school, feeling like I had I was in a place where I had to stay up all night on Sunday and Wednesday to sleep properly the rest of the days. That's what's fucked up to me.
SPEAKER_04You wanna know my okay, high school in the UK goes from like 11 to like 16, 17. Do you wanna know my sleep schedule in high school? It was go to school for the first half of the day during lunch, go out and sleep in the tree outside of the gates, because there was a there was a hole in the gate you could sneak through, and then go home. I slept about two hours every night because I stood up playing fucking Overwatch most of the nights. Overwatch!
SPEAKER_01Overwatch! Overwatch!
SPEAKER_00What the fuck? What year were you born?
SPEAKER_05Oh, you're so right. Yeah. Overwatch came out when I was almost in college.
SPEAKER_04And then go.
SPEAKER_05It was more having like a personal moment of panic than trying to inflict anything upon you.
SPEAKER_04No, I got like therapy at the end of primary school, and I didn't get anything in high school, and then I was forced into it in adult life. Interesting.
SPEAKER_05Therapy was required of me at the school I went to. I went to a quote unquote therapeutic high school.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, continue.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say I only got that in like the last two years of elementary school, but the only time I ever got medication was in adult life when I was forced to go to therapy and I got SSRIs, and then it was like, oh my dick doesn't work when I take these, so I can't take these. It's like it just doesn't work at all. And I remember okay, I don't know how big Lewis Capaldi is outside of the UK. Do you know who Lewis Capaldi is?
SPEAKER_00No, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Very, very, very famous singer, he's from Glasgow. I remember he made a video talking about how he can't come on RS SSRIs, and I was like, Do you know what? Motherfucker's based. That's the only reason I can't take them.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you mentioning that is why I haven't really wanted to try them, I'll be honest.
SPEAKER_04It genuinely is like you won't be depressed, but you won't be happy, and then your dick doesn't work, so it's like, well, what's the point of taking these?
SPEAKER_05What's the point? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And then I got given Valium as antipsychotics, and I was like, these aren't strong enough to do anything to me. I've I've fucked myself on drugs too much before before taking these.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I was getting fucked on drugs when I was 15 years old because of my parents, so you know whatever.
SPEAKER_04Oh, dude, these liquels in this movie look so fucking bad.
SPEAKER_05They look so bad. Why couldn't you just honestly just drape some meat over something? Just buy some ground beef and put and not some steaks or something and put it over anything, like the the gozer the gozerian dogs from Ghostbusters.
SPEAKER_04It's like it's not even just the CGI's bad, it's like the perspective of their size is fucked. That's why is the pipe CGI? Why are the pipes CGI?
SPEAKER_05That's what's so annoying about Paul W S Anderson is I feel like he's close to making some really genuinely good schlock in some cases, but then he just He feels lazy, honestly. I don't wanna say it. Now I'm drunk, also, and stoned. I'm crossfaded. It's not the time for me to be criticizing people, but he's not putting enough effort into things. And he I think Paul W.S. Anderson could make some genuinely some movies that stand the test of time if you put effort into them properly. I really can't, because I can't criticize Adam Sandler either. Maybe that sounds like a stretch, but I feel like they're pretty similar in that Adam Sandler just gets money to take vacations.
SPEAKER_04And Adam Sandler, he will be in bad movies for a paycheck, but if he sees a script he actually likes him with an effort, and that's the difference.
SPEAKER_05Click is so good. Click is a genuinely good movie.
SPEAKER_04I don't like those brothers movies just because a lot of my anxiety comes from time, and a lot of our entire basis is let's try and make everything as stressful as possible with a time limit, and that just makes me not enjoy the movie.
SPEAKER_01You must not like any roguelikes then.
SPEAKER_04No, I'm I'm the roguelite. I was the roguelike guy before it was the book.
SPEAKER_05You're getting you're getting more defensive than I've ever heard you before.
SPEAKER_04Is it good times with Robert Pattinson?
SPEAKER_05Oh fuck. Wait, uh, I met someone who was an extra in good time. I worked the store, the Starbucks I'm transferring to, someone was an extra in good time.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but see that see that movie? I was like, and I watch it and I go, I can't watch us because it's it stresses me out too much. You can't put it's the same reason why I can't play Dead Rising unless it's three or four. Dead Rising limit on me.
SPEAKER_05It is stupid that they have the time limit on it. I don't like that. I also have too much. Three is pretty good. I like three. I want to play more of that on my Steam Deck.
SPEAKER_04Everyone fucking hates four, and I played four, and I was like, this is my favorite one because I don't have a time on the city.
SPEAKER_05Should I try four? You know what? Fuck it. We're in a commentary. Uh have you played Avowed? That's on sale right now. I might get that. My birthday is that's the Obsidian um like Yeah, this Obsidian Skyrim.
SPEAKER_04No, the only uh um obsidian game I played is I played a little bit of grounded and I played um outer wilds until completion. Outer wilds is okay, it's fine.
SPEAKER_05I love outer wilds. Grounded worlds grounded is fun, co-op, but I cannot get into grounded solo.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's miserable solo. Also, we're at the end of this movie. This is what I mean. Why is this guy nemesis? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Wiggly worms in my arm.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_04How does that make you a fucking tyrant?
SPEAKER_01What do you mean? How are you feeling about apocalypse? I'm fucked.
SPEAKER_04I've drank a third of a full of a full bottle of rum. It's like we won him in the nemesis program. No, no, no, no. The nemesis was such a bad ending. An RE3, the Nemesis was insane. He was like destroying the city just to get to these motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_05This is such a bad ending to this movie. It's not satisfying, it's not interesting.
SPEAKER_04It's just the RE3 remake. What do you think of the Nemesis redesign with his little nose?
SPEAKER_05I don't even I don't know nothing about the nose. I like him in RE3 remake.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_04No, see the thing is I haven't played the original Resident Evil either, and that's what See, in my brain, I know it doesn't make sense, but see, playing these Final Fantasy games with the tank controls, my brain's like, okay, this is gonna prep me for playing the OG Resident Evil games.
SPEAKER_05No, I like that. That does make sense, and it's that's what's so interesting about the remix of two and three is that in the original two, um Mr. X is hunting you all the time. When no no no, he is contextual. I'm as far as I've read, he's contextual, and then in the original three, Nemesis is hunting you all the time. Whereas in the new two, Nemesis or uh Mr. X is hunting you all the time, and then the new three, Nemesis is very contextualized. So it's so interesting to me that it's kind of backwards like that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but Resident Evil 3 remake was very much them going, fuck it, we have a year, put out what you can. And it didn't come out well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I didn't remember that. Maybe the hottest video game woman ever.
SPEAKER_00RE3 Jill, you're saying? Maybe. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I don't disagree. You're 100% not in on Apocalypse?
SPEAKER_01Oh no no no no no no no no.
SPEAKER_05Okay, okay, okay. I might watch I'm gonna plug a movie I haven't even seen, the channel. I'm gonna watch the channel after this.
SPEAKER_01Well, is your movie done? What are you done? No, she's she's uh picking a lock right now.
SPEAKER_04To me, she's like wearing nothing but a towel, picking like are you at one? Oh she's picking all she's picking all you okay, you'll get your vibe. I get I know where you are.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I'll pause it for half a second. It's almost done though. It's close to you ever being.
SPEAKER_00Especially as we get into the as we get into the uh CGI movies in the 2000s, credit sequences get longer and longer.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but early 2000 CGI is pretty hard. That's that's oh my fucking god, this is the beginning of Resident Evil 3, the first movie.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_04This is room. Do you not remember where it starts with like her running through this exact hospital and she dies and they're like uh program failed and not replicated her properly?
SPEAKER_05I don't remember that. I remember in like the fifth one, she opens in a house with Odette Fair as her husband, and they have a child, and then zombies come in and attack them, and then it turns out that that home is part of like a virtual reality or sort of augmented reality version of Tokyo or Times Square or something like that.
SPEAKER_04Is that not the beginning of four vol there's like multiple Alice clones and she's fighting them on the base?
SPEAKER_05I think that is four, that's what I remember.
SPEAKER_04But three ends with her in the Mojave Desert finding like a lot of naked clones of herself, and be like, I can use these motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_05You're so right. Yeah, it does end with her refining a lot of clones of herself. And it doesn't turn out to much, all the clones die within 30 seconds of them being actually activated.
SPEAKER_04Yes, and then Westgor's here, and he's like, Oh, it's because she's the OG, by the way. It's like, who is she?
SPEAKER_03What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_05I like these movies, they're not good.
SPEAKER_04I wouldn't tell anyone they're good, but I feel like if you'd never watch and if you never see if I gave it to like an indigenous tribe that had never heard of Resident Evil before in their life, and there was no no way we'd even had like a an inkling in their subconscious of Resident Evil, you'd be like, this movie's kind of fun.
SPEAKER_01I agree. I think Paul W has Anderson Who? This is Slapnot. I didn't notice that. That's cool. What song is this? This is from volume three.
SPEAKER_04This is when Slapnot got more medallic. Hold on.
SPEAKER_05So I picked this movie because I was thinking of Event Horizon, and then I thought about it Resident Evil, and then I looked at your fucking letterbox review, and it said bad movie with Aura, and I said, Alright, that's a movie we can watch.
SPEAKER_03It's a bad movie with Aura.
SPEAKER_05I agree completely, and that's the thing. Event Horizon, I also agree, is maybe a bad movie with Aura, but I think that movie has a lot more to talk about. Whereas this was just kind of a fun watch. I feel like if we do more commentaries, we could probably do them on the other Resident Evil movies, and it wouldn't be too much of a too much of an interesting. Would we talk about them sober? I feel like all our commentaries should be drunkmentaries. I feel like in fact you should title this Drunkmentary Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_04This is gonna fuck me off, although my shazam cannot figure out what Slapknot song this is, but I guarantee it's from volume three. Hold on.
SPEAKER_00I don't know Slipknot for shit.
SPEAKER_04I know Slipknot up to point five and then past that.
SPEAKER_01It's like it all seems to fucking tame.
SPEAKER_04My plague, the new abuse remix from Slipknot from volume three. I don't know that.
SPEAKER_05Let me tell you what I know is it rhymes with Slipknot. It's Wing Stop. I'm gonna get some fucking Wingstop.
SPEAKER_04I'm gonna go to bed because it's like half two in the fucking morning.
SPEAKER_05What time is it? It's 9 36, and it's gonna be my birthday in two and a half hours. So you bet you know what? I'm gonna watch the channel with fucking Max, whatever his name is from Pacific Room. Uh Max Martini. I remember his last name because it's a drink. I remember his last name because it's a drink. He's the guy who has a dog or something, and his son is in a in a Titan with him, whatever they call the robots in Pacific Room, and Clain Crawford is in it. Do you know who Clay and Crawford is?
SPEAKER_03I don't really believe any of these fucking people that you talk about.
SPEAKER_05It's all middle-aged white men. I was defensive about it, but now that you've mentioned it, I recognize it.
SPEAKER_04I know because you said even the people that I talk to that talk to you all go, yeah, Helix's white men movies.
SPEAKER_05I usually who? Who? You'll have to text me. We don't have to say that on the recording, but I'm so curious. Uh Clay Crawford is in A Perfect Host with David Hyde Pierce, and he's also, I haven't watched it, but he's in the Lethal Weapon TV show.
SPEAKER_04You notice how everything you just listed sounded like white people stuff.
SPEAKER_05Stop that. Don't do that. I haven't even watched half of what I listed. I listed two things and I've watched one of them.
SPEAKER_04I did just go, oh, this is from that slipnut album.
SPEAKER_01Hold on, it's got nine white people in it. Exactly. Thank you. But I never sung though to be fair.
SPEAKER_05This was cool though. Uh we should do more drunkmentaries. This was fun.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it does have to be very specific because there's not many nights where I can get drunk and they just be okay the next day.
SPEAKER_05But that's very true. But I'm okay with it.
SPEAKER_04If you if you you want to circle back for more Resident Evil, because we've got like eight of these fuckers to go. Whoa.
SPEAKER_05That's what I was thinking. When the next Resident Evil comes back, if you want to do Apocalypse, I'd be down.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but you need to think there's all the live action and there's all the CGI ones, and you've not played the fucking games properly.
SPEAKER_05Well, I'll play them. I owe that to you. I'm now noticing.
SPEAKER_04Play the CGI ones, motherfucker. It's like semi-racist, like Europeans, it's kind of fun.
SPEAKER_05Wait, play the CGI ones? What do you mean?
SPEAKER_04Watch them, watch them.
SPEAKER_05I've seen every one of these movies at least twice.
SPEAKER_04Have you seen the CGI ones?
SPEAKER_05I love all of these movies. They're bad movies, but I love them, unironically. If I were on a desert island and I could have one franchise with me and the MCU was barred, it would be Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_04See the thing is, okay, the Resident Evil animated movie that's in the airport, pretty bad. Seaville's leading.
SPEAKER_05You're not talking about CGI, you're talking about literally animated. I've I need to watch more of the animated ones. Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_04Okay, there's one that's set in an airport, it's really, really, really bad. There's one it's set in like I think it's Russia or something, but I think you just make it Eastern Europe.
SPEAKER_05What about the one in Alcatraz? I've seen that one. That one's alright.
SPEAKER_04No clue. But I have to piss in a prison.
SPEAKER_00God damn it.
SPEAKER_04I've needed to pass for like an hour.
SPEAKER_05Alright, fucking fair. Go ahead. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_04I'm not gonna piss, just fucking end it and I'll go pissed.
SPEAKER_05Alright. Bye. Thank you for listening. You started this last one. What do you mean I started it? You did this last one. This last one is you. You can start it. You can stop it.
SPEAKER_04But do you no, you definitely did the intro. Don't put this on me.
SPEAKER_01You piece of shit. Just click on stoping.
SPEAKER_04I'm not gonna stop because you need to do your outro that you always do, but you have like a lot of fun doing.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's true. That's true. Alright. No, I appreciate that. I was in the wrong here. Let me start with that. I was being an asshole right here. Exactly. If you wanna follow us on Instagram, you can follow us at the Uncandy Valley Pod. If you wanna email us, you can email us at the Uncanny Valley Podcast at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_01Have a good night. Bye-bye. How do I get out of the chat?
SPEAKER_04It's gone.
SPEAKER_05My bad. Honestly, my bad for that last part there. I forgot. I needed an outro.
SPEAKER_04Okay, I've got the chat up. How do I stop Drake?
SPEAKER_05Uh just click stop recording. I was scrolling around trying to find one I could click on.