001: How to Overcome Procrastination and Perfectionism with Courage

In this premiere episode of The MindHER Podcast, Mandi Casey gets real about procrastination, Why do we delay, overprepare, and hesitate and how does it keep us from transformation?

Using the butterfly as a metaphor, she shares her personal journey of letting go of fear, self-doubt, and old patterns to step into leadership and the life she truly wanted.

If you’re ready to stop overthinking, take bold steps, and lead yourself well, this episode is for you.

Reflection Questions

• Where might “preparation” be your procrastination in disguise?
• What familiar pattern feels safe but no longer true for who you’re becoming?
• What is one turtle step you can take today toward the thing you keep delaying?
• Who is in your village while you’re in your “chrysalis” season?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You're listening to the Mind Her Podcast, where mindset, leadership, and personal growth come together to help you create a life and business you truly love. I'm your host, Mandy Casey, and today we're going to talk about my old friend procrastination. I swear to you that procrastination for me is like that old sweater from college I just can't seem to let go of. You know, the one that has like holes in it and isn't even warm anymore, but you just can't seem to let it go. That feels like the perfect topic for our first episode of the Mind Her Podcast because, well, this whole idea started almost two years ago. Then it resurfaced about a year ago. And then I actually sat down to record my first episode in March of 2025. And then I recorded it again and again, and then I rewrote it like four different times. When finally last week I woke up and was like, Mandy, this is getting a little bit ridiculous. Done is better than perfect. So that's the attitude I'm adopting. But you know what actually happened? I rewrote it and re-recorded it and then re-recorded it and re-recorded it one more time. And finally it's the end of October and I'm doing the dang thing. I swear to you, the hesitation was for a good reason, right? It always is. But lean in close because this message is for you. I recently heard Jenna Kutcher of the Gold Digger Podcast say something that I can't unhear. Has that ever happened to you? Like somebody says a quote or a fact or a phrase that just sticks with you until you do something about it. Jenna said, preparation is procrastination, disguised as productivity. And let me tell you, that stung. So here we are. Because when I really sat down and got honest with myself about why this podcast hadn't come to fruition yet, none of my excuses carried any weight. I realized I was simply procrastinating, and maybe you do that too. Tell me if this sounds familiar. You get this idea, like a stirring on your heart, and you think, this is it, I'm actually gonna do it this time. Maybe you take a few steps forward, but the doubt starts to creep in. You question, hesitate, maybe you even double back like I did with this podcast episode. Maybe you've announced something big like I'm leaving my job or starting a business or planning a trip or even getting married, and then you second guess yourself the moment you make the announcement. This might be why. Did you know that the average person has around 40 to 60,000 thoughts per day? And of those thoughts, approximately 80% of them are negative, and of the negative thoughts, 95% of them play on repeat. That is so wild to me. We prepare and over-prepare and prepare again, thinking that we're being productive, when in reality, we're simply letting our negative thoughts drive the bus. Those fears, those doubts, all the what-ifs, it's no wonder that we sabotage our growth and happiness. We are inundated with negative thoughts. And let me tell you, when you look for negative, you're gonna find more negative. I like to say to my clients that procrastination keeps you in the land of familiar. It's where you know what you're getting even when you don't love it. You see, our brains are wired to keep us safe. Sure, at one time that function was helpful when we were being chased by saber-toothed tigers, but I don't know about you. I haven't seen any saber-toothed tigers lately. But now our brains can't quite differentiate between the tiger and perceived threats like loneliness or financial ruin or job loss. Those negative stories are knowingly and unknowingly playing on repeat in our heads, and we delay our dreams through procrastination by preparing for all the what-ifs instead of facing that unknown future. That's truly why I believe leadership starts from within with your thoughts, which have a direct correlation on your feelings, actions, and results. And when you can lead yourself well, when you get out of your own way, you begin to set the tone for your life and an example for everyone else around you. Listen, it doesn't matter if you're leading your kids, the PTO, a volunteer activity, or even a Fortune 500 company, people are looking to you to take the first step. They need you to make the first move. When you actually get out of your own way, you give permission to everyone else around you to do the same. So then what happens on the other side of that procrastination? It's the very thing that we're all avoiding, which is transformation. And it's truly the premise of this entire podcast. In coaching, we often use the butterfly as a symbol for transformation. So I want to take you back to elementary school for a moment, if you'll stay with me. And let's talk about how a butterfly takes flight. Before it does, it's a caterpillar, right? And that caterpillar will eat and eat and eat and grow and grow and grow until it is fat and happy. Then something starts to shift on the inside, a stirring on its heart to do more, be more, to fly. It's like the caterpillar realizes that its way of living no longer works for the dreams that were planted on its heart. In coaching, we call this square one. It's when the life you've been living no longer feels in alignment with the future you actually want for yourself. Nothing feels true for you anymore. For me, that moment came in my first marriage. I stayed quiet about what was going on because I thought if I said things out loud, suddenly they'd be real. Let me tell you, silence doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't make it any less true. So I procrastinated on going to therapy and getting help, talking to doctors, sharing with my family. Instead, I chose to read and numb out because books delayed the transformation. In fact, the year that I finally got divorced, I'd set a goal to read a hundred books over the course of 12 months. That sounds productive, right? Yeah, that's exactly what I needed to be doing. By July, I'd hit number 85, and I wasn't any more happy than when I set the goal in January, because books were only delaying the transformation that had been set on my heart. Eventually one morning, I remember walking into work and I used the restroom right outside my office. And as I was washing my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't recognize the woman staring back at me. It was then that I knew I couldn't stay numb forever. So if you've ever been there where you feel like disconnected from yourself, I want you to know you're not alone. You hit that wall, and then finally something starts to shift. For me, I went to therapy. And let me tell you, it wasn't as scary of an experience as I'd made it out to be. In fact, it was actually quite the opposite. By sharing my struggles and talking about everything I'd been enduring, I felt less alone. When my therapist finally released me, I remember sitting in her office, lights down low, bookshelves lining the wall, and she looked right at me. She was like, Mandy, you are so self-aware. In fact, you know what got you here, and you know where you want to go. You just simply have to find the courage to take the first step. So that's what I did. We called this square two in coaching. I built my own chrysalis, which is a safe place to fall apart. When a caterpillar makes a chrysalis, it has no idea what awaits it on the inside. I don't think there's a guidebook for the caterpillar that says a caterpillar's guide to transformation. Here's what you can expect on the inside. No, did you know that if you were to cut open a chrysalis mid-metamorphosis, what you'd find inside is a pile of goo. The caterpillar literally dissolves. There are no recognizable parts of its former life. It's just a pile of cells already coated with instructions to become a butterfly. The old has to dissolve for the new to form. And that was true for me as well. For my transformation to occur, for me to get to the dream that had been placed on my heart that I'd been procrastinating on, I had to let go of old thought patterns, habits, beliefs, friendships, expectations, even my definition of success. I created a village to surround me and become my own chrysalis, so that as my world fell apart, I had a support system. As my old identity began to dissolve, I was no longer a wife, I was no longer a we. I had to learn how to become a me. And my trusted friends, therapists, and family were all there to support me. One layer at a time, I began to transform. And that's possible for you as well. So, like the butterfly, from the safety of my chrysalis, my new wings started to form. We call this square three in coaching, where you to dream and scheme of the new identity, the who you're becoming on the other side of transformation. I asked myself questions like, what would it feel like to fly? What if I left the job everyone said was so secure? What if I let go of that pension that I'd been promised? What if I followed the dream that felt impossible? What if I traveled the world like I had envisioned? I want to know how many of you are living your life based on other people's expectations. I know I was. For years I'd been the good girl. And let me tell you, I loved that identity until I didn't. You know what I mean? I graduated high school as valedictorian. I was an honors graduate in college. I climbed the corporate ladder and won an award for my works. I volunteered in the community and had dinner on the table each night. And yet I was also miserable. When I really thought about it, the corporate ladder that I'd been climbing, I'd followed from my parents. I saw them stay at a job where they were miserable. Okay, I don't want to say miserable. I don't want to put words in their mouth, but they were unhappy for a really long time. But they stayed because they were loyal. And that's what they'd been taught to do. And so I realized I was doing the same thing. I was following a path that had been set out before me, and I was staying, even whenever I didn't love the work that I was doing, it wasn't fulfilling anymore. And it felt like the higher I climbed, the emptier I felt. When you hit square three, you give yourself permission to dream again. And you don't have to be something for anyone else. You finally let your walls come down, and sometimes you choose you for the first time ever. I want you to ask yourself, what if? What if I lived out my wildest dreams? Who would I be then? And then give yourself permission to take that leap. My leap actually looked like me quitting my Kushi corporate job without a perfect plan. In fact, I set out to travel 12 countries in 12 months, and during my time abroad, I became a certified yoga instructor and a life coach. I taught yoga from an outdoor shallot in Bali and a rooftop in Thailand. I coached women in Australia and Austria and England. And let me tell you, it was terrifying, but also so liberating. Getting on the plane to leave the comfort of everything I'd known, my land of familiar, it was probably one of the bravest things I feel like I've done. More brave than choosing to leave my marriage because for once I wasn't just choosing me, but I was choosing a future I actually desired. People told me that following my intuition was selfish. But honestly, I believe the opposite is true. When we ignore our dreams, we can often become a bitter, resentful shell of who we once were. But when you allow yourself to follow your dreams and you listen to that intuition and you make decisions that are in alignment with the life that you want for yourself, not the life you had or even the one you're living today, everything around you starts to change. When we follow our dreams, we give everyone else around us permission to follow theirs. That's the ripple effect. That's your impact on the world. And it's also the very reason for this podcast. My hope for you is that this podcast can be a catalyst for your dreams. It can inspire you to stop procrastinating and encourage you to lead yourself well. You have a really big life ahead of you with big dreams and desires that have been uniquely placed on your heart. Don't wait. So here I am, finally pressing publish because I know that done is better than perfect. Real change doesn't happen all at once, it happens one intentional choice at a time. I like to refer to those as turtle steps. And any step toward your dream is better than no step at all. Listen, I can't wait to share all that's in store for you on this podcast. You're gonna hear stories from women who've gone through transformation of their own, both personally and professionally. You'll get practical tools, reflection questions, and mindset shifts that you get to use right away. No procrastination needed. So do me a favor, hit subscribe and tune in every Thursday. That's when the new episodes will drop. And if you know a woman who might be planning something but is really just procrastinating, send her this episode as a gentle nudge to make her move. Until next time, I'm sending you so much love and gratitude. Thank you for listening.