019: Starting Over Strong | Rebuilding Wealth & Redefining Your Safety Net with Yolie Kernes

What happens when your “safety net” disappears?

Mandi chats with financial advisor Yolie Kernes to unpack the life-altering moments that forced her to start over—from leaving a 32-year marriage to unexpectedly losing her job—and how those “kick in the gut” moments became the catalyst for purpose, faith, and a completely new path.

Yolie shares how she rebuilt her life and career from the ground up, stepping into financial advising and ultimately helping other women navigate major life transitions with confidence and clarity.

Together, they dive into:

•  How to rebuild after unexpected life changes 
•  The mindset shift from scarcity to abundance 
•  Why your “safety net” might be misplaced—and what to trust instead 
•  The power of asking for help (and why receiving is just as important as giving) 
•  Practical financial guidance for women starting over 
•  Creating accountability and taking ownership of your future 
•  Aligning your daily decisions with your long-term goals 

This episode is both deeply personal and incredibly practical—filled with wisdom for any woman navigating change, redefining success, or ready to take control of her financial future.

Connect with Yolie

Website: https://www.distinctwealthmgmt.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yolie-kernes/

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Transcript

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You are listening to The Mind Her podcast where mindset, leadership and personal growth come together to help you create a life and business you truly love. Jolie, thank you so much for being here today. I'm just so excited for my guests to hear from you and your wisdom. Would you start, for those people that don't know you, by introducing yourself and telling us a little bit about how you got to where you are. So interestingly, I moved to Edmond about 15 years ago thinking this was gonna be a temporary stop. my, at the time, husband and I were supposed to be here for four years. for part of his career training. And you know what? You never know what God has in mind'cause where what I thought was gonna be a pit stop for me ended up being home for me. And I love being here. And then as far as career wise, I think a lot of times new careers and new beginnings start from what I'm gonna describe as a kick in the gut. I went to a there's probably a better word for this at this point, but like a career fair kind of thing. Okay. And there was a gal that I really clicked with that was a, like a divisional manager for a local bank. And so she and I clicked and so I thought, why not? I'll try it. Let's see how this kind of goes. And so I started working for them and within a year I was there. Top person for the position that I had. I was banker in their wealth, services area. And I learned so much and I made some great relationships. And what happened was that four years into it, it was when I finally had the courage to leave an unhealthy 32 year marriage. And part of what gave me the courage to, to file for divorce honestly, was thinking that I had a bit of a safety net and that in that job I, for four years in a row, I was there. Top person. And so with that, the title got a little fancier and my paycheck grew. And so I thought that was a little bit of my safety net. And so that's where I thought I was. And then I got fired. I got let go. Ugh. I've been there. Shocking. And that's why I premised it with Kick In the Gut.'cause that's literally what it felt like. It felt like a kick in the gut. And I literally. It felt like a twilight zone moment.'cause I'm thinking, I've been your top producer for four years in a row. Like, why, how has this happened? Yeah. Yeah. And at the time I couldn't even think, when you're as, as you, for any of your listeners, when you go through a divorce, it's a traumatic event. It is some way more traumatic than others. But the bottom line is you're grieving, there's all the changes emotions. You almost can't think straight. And then, and then to lose my, what I thought was my safety net caused it, caused change. Yeah. And I never would've I wasn't looking to go from that. When you work at a bank, you get a steady paycheck. yeah, there's a whole nother story about mentoring of how I ended up taking the leap. But anyway, it moved me into this new career the career of financial advising and investments and planning and, that's what moved me. There was literally the kick of a change I wasn't planning for because of the other changes that were happening in my life in the moment. Yeah, I think a lot of people listening can probably relate to that because at some point something has come along and rocked our world, whether that was a relationship ending or a career change or, maybe it's having kids when it was unexpected, something rocks us. And so I think we can all resonate with that kind of kick in the gut feeling that you're referencing, would you say that on the other side of all of that change, are you glad you made the leap? I remember thinking at the time. I consider myself a person of faith. I have always been an optimistic grateful person. And when this happened I literally remember feeling convicted to address the question, almost like I heard you either trust me or you don't. Yeah, and the leap became, it was almost like I was convicted that I really had misplaced trust. Yeah. I had misplaced trust that. That my husband would, be there with me forever. I had misplaced trust in thinking I was my own safety net. Yeah. By having the job. And so I, I really, it was a conviction for me. I really felt like it was a either you trust me or you don't. And I literally remember taking a deep breath and okay. This is when faith meets purpose. Yeah. And so I, I said to myself, okay, I'm gonna be okay. I'm not gonna starve. Like even if I try this and, I'm not great at it. Yeah. Then I'll know in a reasonable amount of time. Yeah. And I know I'm gonna be okay. Your budget changes, everything changes, and so taking the steps that I knew I, I had to make, to take control of the things that I could. Yeah. And then recognizing, do I, what do I need help with? And then being okay with either reaching out or accepting help. And I'll give you an example of that because Yeah, that'd be helpful for a lot of us. I think a lot of us don't have trouble with giving or being supportive of our friends. It's a lot harder to accept or ask and yes, although I knew I wasn't gonna, I wasn't gonna starve, I. I definitely was in a position starting over where you, like one example is even paying for an attorney when you're going through Yeah. A divorce and when you don't have a lot of assets. Saved up. And that was humbling for me because literally I'm like what am I gonna do? Yeah. And so to take inventory of my life and my good friends and for me, what worked is being able to go to. My, my best friend of 30 years and my sisters and say, I don't have the funds to pay an attorney. Yeah. Can I borrow some money? It's the only time I've ever borrowed money. Yeah. And them saying, how much do you need? I think that's so important is that. A lot of people listening can probably resonate with your, what you're saying is it is easy to be a great friend and we are the first to raise our hand and say, I'll help you. Yeah. But we have this mindset that people wouldn't reciprocate the favor to us or they would judge us if we have to ask or we make it mean something about us if we have to ask for that help. And so I just wanna commend you because I think there's a lot of people listening that might not have the courage. And I hope that your story inspires them to do that. And you work with a lot of, oh yeah. Go. I was gonna say, can you, if I can share a lesson that please do. Had so many great mentors in my life. one, spiritual lesson that I learned from a good friend,, was I think she had offered to do something for me, and I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm good. I've got this. No, I'm good. And she said, can I ask you something? And I said, sure. And she said, remember how you, and she named like three things that she knew because she was a good friend. So she was in my life. I'm trying to think of what even was. It was like, remember when you took over a meal to so and so whose child is in the ICU and you brought over a meal for her other kids and the husband. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, do you remember when you, it doesn't matter what the circumstances were, she named like three things that I had done recently. Okay. And I said, yeah. And she said, why did you do that? And I was like. Huh. I'm like, why was she getting with this? She was like yeah. Why? Why did you do that? And I go there was a need I there. I could fill it And I wanted to be helpful. And she was like, okay. And do you think they were blessed or do you think you were blessed? And I was like. I felt like I was more blessed by the circumstances that she meant. And I say that because anytime you bless somebody, I dunno why I'm getting a little bit emotional about it. I think it's because it was such a big life lesson for me. Yeah. I remember saying to her, because when you see somebody in a position of need and you're able to help with it. It gives you purpose. Yes. Yeah. And it's like your cup is filled. And so the blessing is in the fact that God gave me the capacity to fill this need. So why wouldn't I, that's me be being a good steward of what I have to give. And and I got a little She could tell I felt strongly about it. Okay. And then she paused for a moment and she said, then why would you deprive somebody of the blessing of doing the same for you? Oh. Oh, I got chills as you said that. And that's good. Yeah. And that for forever has sat with me because I thought. How dare I deprive somebody, it was a completely different perspective. Yeah. And for me, that was a spiritual lesson. And so that's what I would encourage. Your listeners and anybody, and I've repeated that to good friends of mine who when I've offered to do something and they don't wanna accept it I have said that to them, or I'll ask them, you're trying to deprive me of what I feel like is a blessing for me. So you wanna take that from me? And when you put it like that, literally Oh yeah no. I'm not trying to do, I'm not trying to do that. Yeah. Yeah. And you actually do a lot of work with women who are, find themselves starting over much like you did. Yes. What would you say to that woman who is in a new space and is coming, saying, I don't even know where to start. Am I on track? What do I do with my money? What would you say to that person? Okay, so a couple different things, right? Not knowing who's listening, right? Yeah. Yeah. The first thing that I would say that I think applies to everybody is to do a quick inventory of your resources. And what I mean by that is nobody's alone, you're either going to hopefully have, biological family, family that you've created in your community. Yeah. Friends from your gym, coworkers, people from your church. I mean, I hope you're not so isolated that you do have. Some resources in your life, people that, that can be your, your teachers, your mentors, your, your support system in a time when you need it. And so I think take inventory would be the first thing I would say as far as. To start somewhere. That's a good place to start because sometimes when you can't think clearly someone else can. Yeah. And and then also be careful who you choose. Choose wisely. And the reason I say that is because I think it is really important to consider capacity. And what I mean by that is. Hopefully you know your friends', strengths. Think in terms of go to the people who already live out where you wanna see yourself in that area. Yeah. Not all of your friends are fantastic at everything. So, if you're looking for input on. Money, for example. Yeah. Don't go to the person who, lives paycheck to paycheck. I'm not,, dismissing the value of. Where anybody is at. But what I'm saying is if somebody's living paycheck to paycheck or they're highly in debt, or they're bankrupt, that's not who you go to. Yeah. For money advice. So think in terms of who has capacity in the area, who's living out to the strength that you want in that area, and that's who your mentor should be. I love that, and I think that is really important of there's power in proximity, so who you surround yourself with matters. Yeah. And especially when you're in a season of vulnerability like that. Yeah. When you surround yourself with people who keep you in that same circumstance, or you go to the people who have. Been through that circumstance and come out the other side, they're more likely to give you advice on, for your example, money, like how to invest and where to start it and where to build up those assets again. And you're right, if they're in your same circumstance, they can't help you get out of it'cause they themselves are trying to get through it. Yeah. Okay. I would love to know, because of everything you've been through and the people that you help, what leadership lessons have you really learned through taking women through really big financial decisions and those transitions that they're facing in their life? Yeah. To piggyback on what we were just talking about is that who are the leaders in what it is you wanna get better at? So definitely keep that in mind. And so I'll give you an example of that for me. Okay. When I got let go from the, yeah. The institution that I was working for. I had made some really some of my friendships had come from, clients that I had built relationships with there. And one of them was a gentleman who was an entrepreneur himself and, owned several businesses and. I still remember this quote to this day that at some point I don't know how many times we've met at that point, maybe a year in, maybe two years in I don't know. But at some point he said,'cause sometimes people have to wait for you in the lobby, right? When Yeah. When they're waiting to see you. And he said to me, I'm gonna tell you something. If you're gonna work this hard, you really need to be working for yourself. And I remember I looked at him and I said, so you're obviously a small business owner, so you're talking about my own business. And he said, yeah, and I'm sure I asked him a few questions. I'm sure the first one was like, but how do you do that? How do you give a paycheck? How do you give up a even, how do you give up a paycheck and know that, you may or may not have one for. I don't know how long. Yeah. And and he was kind enough to, give me his input and that, the ethos of it was that, he was saying that when you're doing something someone's gonna pay you for it. Yes, he might as well. If you're willing to put this kind of energy into it, then you might as well be doing that for yourself. So that then you can do it exactly how you want to. And he was right, because for me, when I not, I didn't take the leap on purpose. So I will say that it wasn't like I decided, oh, he's absolutely right and I'm gonna go do this tomorrow. I didn't, but it stuck with me. And so then when, you know when I was kicked into the situation of what do I do next? Then I remembered that, and then this opportunity presented itself and I just thought, okay, here I go starting over anyway let's give this a shot. What do you do to the woman who comes to you and says. What do I do next? Favorite? Maybe she's coming to you. They're my favorite. They're my favorite. Okay. So tell me They're my favorite. So what I do with that is I meet them where they're at. And what I mean by that is, okay, what are, I let her tell me. A lot of times when people are in that situation it's almost like cathartic when they need to let it all out of what's happening in their lives. And so we, I let them talk about that first. And then it sounds simple, but I feel like the most empathetic thing I can do is say. What do you think is, what are out of all of that? Out of all of that? And there's lots of things, and we're gonna get to it. They need to hear somebody confidently say, you're gonna be okay, and we're gonna get to it all. But what do we need to start with? What are the top, let's say top three things that feel the most eminent to you? So that we can start with that so that we have a starting point. Because for many things that for many people, those things can look very differently depending on someone's, circumstances, those top three could be very different, yeah. And so we start with that and then whatever that 1, 2, 3 is, we get started same day, start on those things. And sometimes those three, three things in in, bring up the need to involve other experts, other people. But it's taking the reins for a little while to say, okay, we need to get some legal input here. And, or we also need to get the advice of a CPA in here, that sort of thing. So that so that we have all of the expert advice needed to address those, those top three items. I think that's important for anyone listening because not only in a financial situation, you're talking about bringing the right experts into the room and the right team. Yeah. But giving ourselves permission, whether it is financial or it is spiritual, or it is emotional to make sure that you have a team around you. We need it. It takes a village. Yes, it does take a village. They can move you forward. Okay. So I would love to know from you, you go through those first three things and then what's the next step? So we always, anytime we walk away from me from a meeting we, I generally have okay, here's your homework so we're clear Yeah. On what they need to do. And then I say, and here's my homework, and I will get back to you with the things that I'm working on by, and then I give a realistic expectation. So if there's something that. If the things that I'm working on are things that are gonna take me three days, or they're gonna, it's gonna take me a week because maybe it's something that I need to reach out to somebody else whatever the circumstances are, then I give a realistic expectation of my timeline. So that they know, and then I will generally give them a deadline for theirs as well. And that's just to help keep things moving. Because I know,'cause I've been there and sometimes when you're in the middle of that many changes at the same time, it, it's more likely than not that you sometimes get overwhelmed. And we all know that when we're overwhelmed, we tend to. Freeze. Yeah. Yeah. And so that might look like, if I give a deadline of, next Friday and it's Friday and I haven't heard from them, then I'll reach out and I'll say, Hey, just checking in. We talked about, me having X, Y, Z to you. Please see that attached. How's. The item you said you'd have done by, Friday was X, y, Z. Where are we at with that? Yeah, so there's accountability. So that accountability matters, right? It's essential. The reality is that to reach any goal no, no one can do it for you. Yes, no one can do it for you, or it'd be their goal. And I don't think it's harsh to say that, we have to be our own, for us to reach our own potential we are responsible for it. And so that means, it doesn't mean that friends can't help you along the way'cause we all need that, but but truly the, the life is ours. Yes. And so we. We are living out what we say we want. So that means we have to do our part. And so a good, accountability partner or a good expert, like for me with our team and what we do for people is that I can't do it for you I can't be working harder at your financial life than you are. Yes, I'm gonna help you, but if you don't do your part, then there is nothing I can do to get you where you need to be. If you're not doing your part, what would you say their part is? Like for somebody who's trying to reach a certain financial goal, Uhhuh and a certain type of maybe lifestyle or security that they're looking for what would you say the part that they play is? Okay, so let me give you, I'll give you two examples. So let's say one is someone who is still in debt, okay? Okay. So if. For those of, maybe for those of your listeners, if if this is, you think in the terms of maybe something like you feel like you're still living paycheck to paycheck, you wanna save, you know it's the right thing to do but everyone you listen to. Has you feeling okay, so then do I contribute to my 401k first or do I try to put a little bit in savings first or do I replace my tires that need fixing? Okay. Yeah. That's one scenario. That's one example. Yeah, that's one person. If you're asking me for solutions to that, then I might look at that and go, really out of the three things I just mentioned. What I probably go towards is does your employer match your 401k? And if the answer is yeah, they match 3%, then I'm gonna have a little bit of a bias of let's do that first and let me explain why. Okay. Because of course an emergency fund is also, impor important. But the reason I would say the 401k is because you're literally leaving free money on the table. Yeah. If your employer will match 3%, then you are throwing 3% out the window. Yeah. And so that's what I would say start with that because of that. And then, okay, let's go to another scenario. Let's say, you we're talking to somebody who is established enough to where they don't they don't live paycheck to paycheck. They have already two months worth of emergency savings and reserve. They contribute in their 401k up to the match. So say their employer match is 2% or 4%. Okay. That's what they're doing. And. Let's say they say, okay what's next step? Yeah. Tell me what you bring in a month, and tell me what your average expenses are. And then I can do one of two things. If I'm, meeting with somebody and they tell me I bring in X and they say I spend x, I'm gonna assume it's at least 20 to 25% more that they spend than what they're telling me. Why do you say that? And the reason I do that is because from experience, just in doing this now for almost 10 years. That's the reality is that when I ask people to put pen to paper and actually go find their last three months bank statements and truly see what they spent in each category that we like to see on a budget. Never have I ever had anybody underestimate what they spend. Really 0%. I'm not surprised by that. Yeah, I think we all underestimate what we spend. We do. We do. Because here's the thing, Mandy, I don't know how, what the ages of your listeners, but the reality is, a long time ago, we used to have to keep a check ledger. Yes. And if you got paid whatever you're making, if you got paid a thousand dollars,$5,000, you would add it as a plus. And then every single time you spent at the grocery store took money out of the ATM went out to lunch with your friends, whatever it was, you would have to put a little minus in that ledger and then put down how much it was. And then guess, but guess what? Any given time, you knew exactly. You know what you had. Yeah. And I know we have our bank apps on our phone, but what happens now is, we all get paid and we swipe and we don't track daily for the most part. Correct? Yes. Yeah. And so what ends up happening is you think you're spending, maybe whatever,$250 going out to eat with your friends per month, but then you. Print your last three month statement like I recommend, and you actually go through it all. And funny story, I did this with my youngest daughter, her idea. Okay. She wanted, she's mom, can you help me with my budget? I said, proud mama moment. Absolutely. I can help you with your budget. Yeah. And so at the time I was still on her checking account, and so I knew the answers right, but it was hers it I was so happy she asked me, and she's not a minor, right? So she needed to take accountability. So although I knew the answers, I, I let it play out. So what we did was. I sent her a spreadsheet and my spreadsheet has like every line item we can think of that you might spend money on. So it'll say not only, your mortgage and your car insurance and your home insurance and you know your utilities, but then there's line items for things like hair products or hair care. Yes. Entertainment, which includes, concert tickets, thunder tickets, whatever. Yep. So all the things, if you have a pet, how many of us don't spend more, think, oh gosh, we spend less than we do on our pets, right? Absolutely. And here's the thing, none of that is, none of that is negative. There's no judgment in this. It's your money. So it's literally let's have a purpose for every dollar. That's the only way to get your money to work for you. Is when you have a purpose for it all. And so in this case, she had already done her budget. She came prepared, she had her spreadsheet. She put down, what she makes, and then had it all filled out. And based on what she said, she spent on everything she should have had, I can't remember now exactly, I wanna say it was somewhere like six to$800 left over a month. Something like that. Okay. And so when we went over it and I said, okay, so where, oh, so all this money's in a savings account? You, you've been saving all this money. And she's no. And I'm like if we, if this is what you spend and this is what you make, then where's this money? Where is it? Yeah. And so then I said let's go ahead and look at your bank statements. Okay. So we printed last month's bank statements. We went through it all. How much did she spend on, going out with her friends? How much did she spend on blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're done. And she goes, mom. But that month was a little unusual because I had, two of my friends had birthdays and so we went out to celebrate. Plus I bought birthday gifts. So that was unusual. And I was like, yes, totally makes sense. So let's go back one more monk. We did the same thing. Guess what figures were the same. So then I said, also unusual. Maybe that was an anomaly too. Let's go back one more month and then you know what we'll do, because now that we've had three full months, then we can average it. Okay. Yeah. So we'll take all three months. Okay. Yeah, mom, that's a good idea. Okay, so then we did the next month. And then we took an average and then she was able to see literally concretely that the numbers she had put on her budget sheet were she thought that they were correct. Obviously she wasn't trying to fool herself. Yeah. Thought they were correct, but they weren't correct. So she needed to look at, so with your people that are, that, that do have margin, that do have that extra like she thought she had. And that's one example.'cause it was my daughter, so it was easy to do. But the point being is that for those of us that are more established, if your dollars don't have a purpose, then it I feel like it, it's wasteful. Because they'll just end up disappearing from your, your checking account. So with those clients I like to do that similar, and then we review it together and I don't do a ton of from the scratch budgeting anymore, but for my clients who are saying, I want to. I wanna max out my 401k. I don't just wanna do the 3% that's matched or the four that percent that's matched. I wanna max it out per year because I've heard that the goal is, to be putting 15% towards your employer plans is, does that sound about right? Yeah. Yeah, it does. That's correct. Yeah. But then, how do we do that? Finding sort of free info is not that hard anymore, especially given all the, all the data that's out there. But what takes a little more work is figuring out d. Does this make sense? Is this really, yeah. Is this really correct for you and your, for your lifestyle? Because a goal for us is we wanna be sure that you're. They're your goals and we can help you move towards them. But then what are the concrete steps for you, for us to help you, get there. And so if you show me a budget and you didn't put anything for certain things that I know happen in your life,'cause you've told me, then you know, I'm gonna hold you accountable to that. And I go, Hey, but what about, I don't see a line item for X, Y, Z. You told me you guys did that just three weeks ago, so let's work it in, let's work it into your budget. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's an element of, we have to be honest with ourselves. I had someone talk to me once about the concept of living paycheck to paycheck. Yeah. I remember being in college and being in that space and. If you get so used to that, then it doesn't matter the amount of money you make, you're gonna keep repeating that cycle of, let me spend all the money, let me get rid of it all because I'm not used to feeling safe with money in my account. And so that as I've gotten older, that is a lesson that I've had to learn and I guess unlearn really of, it is okay to have a balance in my account. It is okay to see my investment accounts grow, to see my checking account grow because I think for so long I got used to that, barely getting by, and I thought that was like how it had to be. Yeah. So I think of that, of flipping the switch. Yes. From living. And I resonate with what you're saying because 1000% I personally made the switch because. Growing up, very humbly, which what that translates to is that I grew up with the scarcity mentality. Yes, absolutely. And so there was times where we didn't quite have enough. And so that, that is a way and a pattern of living that does not easily go away. So I'm speaking for myself. So what that meant in my life was that when I did have a little bit of extra, I'd spend it instead of me too saving, I would spend it because I think it, one, it felt like a reward. Yeah. And yeah. And two, I think there's a part in that pattern non-healthy, that was I better spend it now because it's not always there to spend. Exactly. Yes. And yeah, and that is, it really is a scarcity mentality and what happens when you are accountable and take control of the things that you can take ownership of than a different pattern. And what comes with that is a different confidence. That then translates into abundance. Yes. Yes. And I think the lesson here for listeners is that. Learning to let go of those old patterns when they're not serving. And you used this term earlier, like the vision for your life, right? And if that repeated pattern of staying broke or feeding into that scarcity mindset isn't resulting in the type of life you want for yourself, for your family, for your business, then we have to break that cycle and do something different. Yes. So let me give you a concrete example of what I've said to clients, and I've said to good friends, and I practice this myself, and that is, if I say I want to max out my 401k, if I say I want to take three vacations next year, if I say I want to buy a second property, whatever those goals are, then that means that on the daily, when you're about to. Make a purchase. Yep. You literally have to ask yourself, is this getting me closer to that goal or further from that goal? That's good. And if that isn't your motivator, you're not ready for abundance. Yeah, that's a good analogy. I'm gonna ask myself that question next time I'm at Target.'cause I am a sucker for going into Target and I think I'm gonna buy one thing, target a good up, and I come up at 20. Yes. I love that. Yeah. Okay, so as we wrap up our conversation, YLI, there are a few things that I want to ask you if you're up for it. Sure. Okay. I love to ask every guest, what is a piece of leadership advice that you have received that has really stuck with you. Okay, so the first, I know I already said it was just that if you're gonna work this hard work for yourself that's so good. On the, anybody on the fence of. Ownership. I am such a supporter of that. And funny story, my last birthday party I in invited a bunch of girlfriends to dinner. There was maybe 16, 18 of us there. And all of a sudden like that, a third of the part of the table. Started giggling and I was like, what? What did I miss? What did I miss? And one of the girls said, we literally just counted how many people you talked into quitting their jobs. Which is a funny thing to say, right?'cause I, obviously that was a tho all of those were private conversations with different people, with different circumstances. It's not like I tell everybody that I meet to, to, yeah. To quit their jobs. But in those particular situations, all of the girls are, and they, that's exactly what they were saying and they were so much happier in their next step for having made that, made that leap. I think that's the testament you yolie to your leadership, as we were saying earlier in this conversation of gravitate toward the people who have been where you. Are and have come out the other side. I think that's a testament to those women you surround yourself with. They look to you and your leadership because you're probably where they wanna be, and that's why your story is so inspiring. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that. I did. Okay. You said there was another piece of advice. So the other one was about the blessing that I've already mentioned that my dear friend said about don't take away somebody else's blessing when you know it ha when you need something. Yeah. And then, along with that, I don't know that anybody necessarily, it's not like a P piece that somebody said to me, but it's just that, I guess my input to, to live your life in gratitude. My pastor he and his wife, who I love and respect dearly, taught me many things. But one of the things that he taught me was to journal in gratitude. And when I started purposefully starting my day, and this has been. Probably eight years ago that I started to do this. But starting my day with things that I'm grateful for it change, it changes you as a human. It does. So that's my advice to people is to start, start your day with gratitude and, and truly. The other is to. We need to be good stewards of what we're given. And I truly mean that with sincerity of that doesn't necessarily just mean money. It includes your money. Yeah. Yeah. But it could also be, your expertise. It could be your, your experience that you've already gone through. It could be support in some kind of way. Yeah. And it, and I will also say along with that, that you need to do it in a healthy way. And I say that because for those of us who are empathetic there is, there is such a thing as too much giving. And by that when it's, when it becomes unhealthy for you,'cause you're trying to be too much for other people, then yeah, that's not healthy, that's not healthy given, but part of how I try to lead is by a good example of healthy boundaries. That's important. That's part of it. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay. The next question that I wanna ask you is. Because you are a leader and you have such an impact, not only on your team, but also the people that you work with as you help them build their wealth. When you look back at the end of your life, what impact do you hope your wisdom and your expertise and your leadership has made on those lives? I think I will have people who say, she was loving, she was generous, and I always felt like she was cheering me on. Yeah. You are a good champion of women. Thank you, as are you my friend. Thank you. Thank you. I think that's why we're friends. I think you're right. I love it. Okay, so where can our listeners who wanna know more about you, where can they find you? Where do you hang out? Sure. So my practice is called Distinct Wealth Management. Where in Edmond, Oklahoma. And my, I'm on LinkedIn as Yolie Kerns. Okay. And our website is the address is Distinct Wealth. Then MGNT. Perfect. So distinct wealth mgn t.com, and that's our website. So if you wanna get an idea of our vibe and how we do things hopefully that does a good job. And so you can always reach out. There's a contact me, our office phone number is on the website as is our email. Okay. Yeah I'm happy I will in any way I can. Awesome. I love that. I will put a link to all of the website and your LinkedIn profile in our show notes for anyone who wants to find it. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome. Great chatting with you. Same. I was gonna say same thing. I think our listeners will have gotten so much wisdom from you, and thank you for being willing to share your story and where you came from and the impact that you're making on others who are looking to grow their wealth and change their money mindset. I appreciate you for being here. Thank you. It's an honor. I appreciate it.