39. If I die tonight

Coroners record 5 ways of dying. They are natural, accidental, suicide, homicide and undetermined. People think about death as a good death ( peaceful and expected) versus a bad death ( violent, lonely and  painful), then fate versus free will and meaningful versus meaningless.184,000 people die every day somewhere in the world or 67m per year.

Long term death is months to years away ( e.g. incurable cancers), medium term deaths are weeks to month away ( e.g. frailty in old age ) and short-term death is minutes to days away ( e.g. cardiac arrest). Heart disease and strokes are the top two killers.  Across all of the world's religions it's calculated that 70% of people supposedly go to heaven and 30% go to hell. If you knew you were going to die tonight, what would you want to say and do ? Some would address practical concerns ( where the will is etc. ) and seek permission to die ( don’t worry It’s going to be OK. Others might call for their loved ones to visit . Most see the need for resolution , to say sorry, or thank or forgive. When its times to go it's often a time of confusion and breathing heavily. Communication usually stops and it’s more about body language and facial expression. Sometimes there is a final surge when someone sits up and speaks clearly. There have been some wonderful last-minute words spoken. Grouch Marx said  ‘this is no way to live’ whereas Edison said ‘It’s very beautiful over there’. Most people say ‘ I love you’. Steve Jobs said, ‘Oh wow, Oh wow, Oh wow !’ Some people want to go out with a bang Ballard’s father arranged to crash a high-speed car into a wall in front of his friends, knowing he was dying. King Frederick of Sweden eat himself to death, arranging a feast. This is about asserting control, staying true to character, defiance and humor. They are usually an affirmation of a bizarre life. I wanna go out very quietly or with a big band –not in between

This is my song ‘If I die tonight’ It’s a crazy song with a weird elderly chap doing a funky chicken type dance on the video. He has a beard, dark glasses, white shorts and an open top Hawaiian type shirt, brilliant ! He doesn’t take himself to seriously, which I like.

The chorus throughout ( supported by a harmonica which I really like ) is ‘If I die, tonight in a, mystical light. Like flying a balloon, at night. Seeing my life, in crazy rhymes, thats right'. I wish I has used the line ‘like a rising ballon’ but there you go it will bug me for a long time. What do you want to be remembered for e.g. crazy rhymes ? . My lifetime in business has been totally forgotten -at least by me ! The second verse of my song sings, ‘If I die, tonight. Let’s hope. My fate. Is not, an inferno. I go to bed, at eight’ So the man wants to be in the 70 % that avoids hell ( me too !), but also injects some last-minute humour by saying he goes to bed at eight ! I'm writing this at 6 am in the morning , having gone to bed early, which drives my partner nuts ! Our character also wanted to arrive in heaven clean so, ‘I had a shower .Before I set off'. He seems philosophical about his fate, ‘Not as bad as it seems. Might bring me, some peace. Got, a front row seat. With guys who, never danced’ Her seems as fun guy, meeting some who are not. He's not materialistic, loving his kids singing, ‘Never stopped loving my kids. Never stopped loving theirs. Forget money and the medals. It's like, moving chairs’ He then passes on some life lessons, ‘Following power, is insane. Fog always clears. Try to avoid pain’. Finally, there is sad moment I ( i.e. he's getting old) when he says, ‘Must have been blue. To write my songs. To learn the noble art’. The latter relates to boxing  which I'm learning as we speak- going out with a bang – literally !. This song is very popular and its about dying ! Tik Tok folks listen it in their thousands !