Lord of Bones - Book Report

Welcome Smut Squad, we have talked about this day, we have dreamed about it  and we are finally covering book 1 in the Death Bound series, Lord of Bones by Aiden Pierce and RK Pierce. 

This is a dark paranormal romance, labyrinth retelling with elements of Beauty & The Beast, Sleepy Hollow and a few other little treats. This book is for the bad gurrrl with the whimsical child inside. 

Spoilers ahead 

Live, Laugh, Mortal Trash

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:07

Welcome, Smut Squad, to another deep dive on Smut Syndicate.

SPEAKER_00 0:11

I am Charlie. And I'm Danielle. Today we are covering a book that is near and dear to our hearts. We are talking about a dark paranormal romance with grave robbers, bone daddies, labyrinth vibes, and the literal king of the underworld.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

Yes! That is right. We are talking about Lord of Bones. This is the first book in the Deathbound duet by Aidan Pierce and R.K. Pierce. This book feeds my soulless body. Like the first time that I read it, it felt like a familiar book that I had read a million times before, even though I had never encountered anything like it. If you were a dreamer child or a dreamer adult, this book is for you. There are elements that remind me of Beauty of the Beast. There is elements of the Headless Horseman. There is the Labyrinth, there's the Dark Crystal, all of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Yeah, this book is everything that was sexually awakened in me when David Bowie's bulge was in my face against my will in the labyrinth. And I am here for it. Yeah. I also absolutely love the dedication. Is a David Bowie quote in the author playlist is Bowie Songs.

SPEAKER_04 1:22

Oh, they just they killed it. Okay, so before we get into the book, I want to throw in a quick bit about the authors themselves. Number one, they are both the sweetest baby angels. Yes. They are really good to their fans, they're really great at engaging. And they were really the first ones that I saw spreading a lot of awareness about the issues of using AI to create content. Now, as someone who doesn't do this for a living, and we just started out, I was like, ooh, something that can make it for me, and it's all easy and it's all whatever. But after doing some research and chatting with Aiden, I realized the harm that this is causing the planet and also the stupidity of letting AI create art. We literally created AI so that it could do the heavy lifting and we could do the art. Um, but if you're using AI to create art, uh, don't be fooled. Even posting content on social platforms is art. You know, take that extra time to do this thing for yourself and don't lose the plot of what you're doing with posting on social media or creating a podcast or whatever. It's art. This is supposed to be the stuff that fuels your body. Don't give that stuff to, you know, computers. So thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Thank you for having me. Yeah, no problem. Um, okay, spoilers ahead, on to the Lord of Bones. We first start off, we are gonna meet our alt goth girl, grave robbing, badass FMC. And now I gotta say, I always envision myself as the FMC, but dare I say, Danielle, you are Raven. Like who, me? Yes, you. Be human garbage? Yes. I get to be one? Human garbage, you are Raven. Like she likes creepy crawly, she loves bones, like girl, come on.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

And daddies.

SPEAKER_04 3:19

Yeah, it's um like this is the first time where I was reading a book where I was not the FMC. Like right away from chapter one, I was like, oh shit, I didn't know someone wrote a book about Danielle.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

And this is so sorry you had to read about my sexual endeavors so in depth like that. I didn't know you didn't look through the same.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

Oh, I we talked about it a lot in therapy. Like, thanks for kind of wrecking that for me, but whatever. So they are at the scene of a job. It's the Pethrick family tomb. Yes, first chapter. I know my English is great. Um, basically, she researches tombs, grave plots, and they break into the cemetery after hours to rob graves. This tomb that they are hitting tonight, it's so old, it's at the center of the cemetery. You can't really tell who's buried there, and even the internet searches have returned nothing. And she is on the scene with bad dick Mark. This is her partner in crime, slash uh also partner in the sheets, and she doesn't really like him, but it seems like they've been friends for a while, and also like she needs the extra muscle for these kind of jobs, so she's like, Ugh, I guess I'll deal with it.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Yeah, that's that seems fair. You don't have to like them if you're using them for manual labor, right? But I also do love that this is their livelihood and this is how they're both like making their money to live.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

Um, but they're also getting the creeps at this point. They know something isn't right with this one, the air is getting really cold. And as they're reading the names along the tombs, as they go into this what is it called? A crypt? Crypt? We're gonna crypt. Yeah, I think so. They get to the last name, Catherine, and there's like a giant knock. Run, bitch, run! I would literally shit my pants. I feel like I would just be frozen in fear.

SPEAKER_04 5:14

Oh, I would shit my pants being in one of these with nothing bad happening, but like uh boom, boom, like you know, this is like ghost of Christmas past shit, man. I'm fucking out. Like, you know, Marley and Marley, I don't need any fucking life advice. Fuck this. I'm out. No, I'm tapping Mark's knees. He's the bait and I'm running. I don't have to outrun the bad guy, I just have to outrun you. Like, bye. Then we meet the most badass MMC ever. Love my life. I say this every time. I know I say this every time. You do. This time I really mean it. Belial? Beliol. Beliol? Belial. Belial. I said Beliol. Beliol. He is my favorite. He is the man of many names. He is the master of death. He's the king of limbo. Death incarnate, the keeper of graves, death himself, lord of bones, bone daddy. Okay, death incarnate?

SPEAKER_00 6:17

It's like really hot in here or something today. Yeah. B Lil is my top three book MMCs of all time. Like you all thought I was fucking feral for Tobias Mitchell. Well, let me tell you, I would let this guy pin me over and load me like a shotgun. I cannot.

SPEAKER_04 6:41

And again, this all adds to my therapy. This all adds to my therapy. You're gonna hear all about it. Yeah, we're gonna hear all about your sexual escapades with death incarnate. You know? Real excited. So we find out who Catherine, the name on the tomb, was to him. And she was a pet that was meant to bring life back into his home, but instead it drove her to madness. Ovi, you live in hell. Um, and basically spent every day taking her own life only to awaken the next day unscathed. And eventually, Bilial say it again for me. Belial. Belial. Woo! Okay, how many times? Everybody who is at home right now started every time I mispronounce this name. And I'm sorry if you end up in the hospital. Um, eventually, Belial, yeah, Belial tires of reviving her, and he just brought her back to the world, Earth, and put her to rest in her family tomb. Yeah, girl, you don't appreciate me. I'll go to the next one who does. Um, he's sitting in his throne room and he has been alerted that someone is in Catherine's tomb. So he's just gonna pop in real quick, check it out. He sees Raven and Bad Dick Mark. They're rooting around in Catherine's tomb, and he's like, uh, but also he's like, Raven, Danielle. Oh my god. Whoa, which is Doc Martin. And he's like watching her rooting around in this coffin, and she like pulls this necklace that apparently cannot be unclassed by anyone except for him. Means that she breaks Catherine's neck to get like necklace, snaps her head clean off.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Could you imagine being so insensitive? You're just snapping skulls right off of bodies in tombs to steal trinkets.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

Well, I also like I just don't like touching bones, so I can't imagine any of this happening. But could I imagine you just like ripping someone's neck apart? Probably. Like, I know it's nice, but like subtle. Um, and they can feel like it ain't right. Let's just get whatever the fuck you have and let's get the dick out of here. And bad dick Mark takes off because he sucks and basically leaves Raven in the dust. He's like, bye, thanks, see you, bitch. Like over like scary movie. Bye, Sydney. Like just leaves her behind. And Belial Belial, oh my god, Belial appears in front of him.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

The fact that he can just like materialize there, I just I love it so much. So he does that, but he's still invisible. So Raven and Mark don't actually see him. He's just like Darth Vader choking Marvin and then grabs Mark's hair and snaps his head clean off.

SPEAKER_04 9:33

Boom! An eye for an eye, baby. An eye for an eye. A neck for a neck. And yeah, he grabs, he then grabs his spine and rips that out of his body and like walks over to Raven, makes himself visible. And you have to remember that he is described as seven feet tall. Yeah. Which, man, when I see someone who's six four, I follow them around a grocery store all day. And I'm like, so how tall are you? Can you touch the ceiling? Like seven feet? Are we joking? Oh, but that's not even the best part. He is a skull with great horns coming out of it, a pale, almost bluish skin, wearing fancy clothing, but it's been like moth-eaten, tattered, terrifying, and hot as fuck. Yeah, I fear this is my exact type. If you don't look like this, you are a raven. You are raven. Also, we meet in a cemetery.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Say less.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Like, this is your meat cute. This is how'd you guys meet? Well, I ripped his ex-girlfriend's head off, so he ripped my ex-boyfriend's head off, and it was just love at first sight.

unknown 10:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

That's how it has to go.

SPEAKER_04 10:48

Yeah. And like, obviously, she's sorry, but it's a little bit too late for that, honey. He has not decided what he wants to do with her exactly, but he knows that he's gonna punish her, obviously. You're Raven, okay? And she's coming with him. He grabs her by her ankle, starts to drag her through the graveyard back towards the like family tomb that she came out of. He creates a tear in the world big enough for them both to fit through and drags her through behind him.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Honestly, like men just are not creating tears in the world anymore.

SPEAKER_04 11:24

Yeah, they really aren't. You know, like we've seen it in guild, we've seen it in a few others. Like, if he wanted to, he would, but the rest of the men, they really don't give a shit. You know what? We're not seeing it here. We're not seeing it in reality, and I'm upset by this. You know what? Let's go hang out in the graveyard. Let's go fucking grave rob and we'll see if we can find your hand. Let's do it. Um, so they go into this new world, and it sounds like they enter enter like a mansion. It's got like black walls, black floors, very gothic tall ceilings, stone pillars, chandeliers, even though they're made out of bones. He drags her all the way to a bedroom just to make sure that she feels very welcome. He places a metal collar around her throat, chains her to a bed, and locks the room.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

I see no problems here. Yeah. If you're seeing problems here, maybe don't continue because it's not gonna get better.

SPEAKER_04 12:19

It's gonna get much better.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

I know that I speak on behalf of all the goth, like all the alted goth girlies when I say this. But the mansion, the room, the vibes, the being collared and chained to a bed, this is all we're asking for. Yeah. A chandelier of bones over a black-walled blood-red linen bed.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

It's not hard. It's not hard. You know, just listen to what she's asking for and go to bed, bath, and beyond and get her a bone chandelier. You know? It's a great conversation piece. Jesus. Um, now that she's alone in the room, she needs to get the fuck out of Dodge. She, with some maneuvering, is able to get her hands on a letter opener, bust out of her collar, because remember, she's got the skills that pay the bills. Um, and she's like, peace.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Honestly, they're like picking a lock behind your head with a letter opener, so badass. I would like accidentally stab it through your neck and kill myself.

SPEAKER_04 13:18

She'd be like, now I'm Catherine. Yeah. Oops. Right? And at first she's all like cocky, like, aha, you thought you could keep me. But she soon realizes as she's like running through the halls of this mansion that the walls shift and that she's running up and down hallways, taking stairs, she's going up different levels, and she's constantly returning to the same spot. Love it. Sounds like a little movie that I might have watched in the 80s. Like, yeah. And Belial, Belial, fuck, this is a hard one for me. I think it's a good one. It's good. It's good. We did it. He is in the library with his soul keeper, who is described as a tall, thin man. He's also in these like fancy ass, like moth-eaten clothing. Okay. He has eyeless sockets that contain rows of teeth. That's his eyes. Why? Okay, to the artists out here in the world, because it is not me. Okay. Why is there not more fan art for this book?

SPEAKER_00 14:21

I was actually looking for fan art today. I found one photo of the Lord of Bones. Yes. That's it. You're telling me that this is like the most descriptive story I have ever read. Every single character is explained in explicit detail. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:38

And they are incredible. Draw it for me. Yes, please draw it for us. If you have done this, or man, even I'll take a stick drawing of this stuff. Send it to us at smut syndicate at gmail.com. Like, I need this fan art. If you find it, because we can't find it, please send it to us. Hit us up on Instagram. Like tag us in it. Like, I am desperate for it. There is nothing and there should be so much. Like, I really I want to see people cosplaying us this stuff. Like, I want to see someone cosplaying as Cecil with the frickin rows of teeth for eyes.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

The teeth for eyes.

SPEAKER_04 15:17

Like, oh my God, every character in this is incredible. Okay, so Bliol, he is looking for a witch named, I know it's horrible. I'm just gonna call him B. I'm calling him B from now on, okay? Or yeah. He is looking for a witch named Holga. He wants her help to keep Raven alive. He charged her with keeping Catherine alive when she was living in the mansion. Obviously, she sucked at that. Yeah. And she kind of also like turned Catherine against him, but he's like, Yeah, that's what I'm going for. Like, I'm here to punish my little human. So let's get that bitch in here. As soon as the Lord of Bones, whatever, has control over Limbo. Like, or sorry, as the Lord of Bones, he has control over Limbo. He's the one who passes judgment over souls. He sends them down the river to the lower levels of hell. The levels are run by his brothers. And it sounds like this may be a job that he's been avoiding for a while. Just a little while. Right. That's the vibe that you're getting. Like a few centuries. Yeah, it's fine. He gets busy. Man, they've got like lots of good shows coming out. Like he just he got shit to do. He contacts his brother, the Lord of Lechery, as Modius. And apparently he is the one who he gave Holga's soul to. These names are hard for me, man. I'm just saying. But also But you're doing such a great job. Thank you so much. This is why I need the fan art. I want someone to show me these different characters. Like all of the brothers, they are so badass. Some of them have like multiple heads. Some of them are described as having like serpent skin. Some of like, man, they they're all incredible. So Asmodius agrees, he's like, I will give the soul back in exchange for you're gonna throw a masquerade party for all hell to you. And all the demon lords are gonna attend.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Best time ever. You're telling me I gotta go to a masquerade ball in hell. Hell yeah. In a nice white ball gown with big sleeves. You're telling me that David Bowie's gonna be playing on the speakers? Bone chandeliers? Right? Sign me up.

SPEAKER_04 17:30

This has like a good fucking time. Yeah, it does. Um, so while he's like making his little deal with his brother, Raven is still trying to find a way out. She gives up, she takes a little breaky across from his painting, and she's like, Who is that? She recognizes the necklace and she's like, that's the bitch whose neck I broke. That's cat. I snapped your head clean off, bitch. And she's like muttering something to herself, like, man, and then all of a sudden, a frog-shaped teapot starts talking to her. It turns out that the souls that are awaiting judgment, they've been hiding in items around the mansion. And they like warn her, like, yo, the Lord of Bones is on his way. Like, you gotta go. So the letter opener that she used to get the collar off, she still has it with her, smart, except not smart, because it starts giving her directions of where to go, but it's a little bit shifty. And it leads her to this hole, tells her to jump, she falls in, and it's filled with fucking hands that are stuck to the wall. They start grabbing at her, they're groping at her, and the letter opener is like, yo, that's the only way to like escape him. Like, hopefully he'll be dead. Death is the only way to escape Catherine, you bitch, and shit is getting real. B shows up and he saves her. Woo! Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

This part of the book, it made me so happy because it's it's literally labyrinth. It's the helping hands, yes. And if you've ever watched that, it is probably the creepiest part of that whole movie.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Well, and especially the way that they did it, like the way that they describe it, because the helping hands, when they're like talking and kind of like giving directions, it's already like it's a vibe, you know, and it's kind of like creepy, but the way that it's described, these are like rotting hands. These are they're also like kind of molesting. Yeah, they steal her shoes. They like, oh, yeah, it's not a good time. No, it is not a good time, like and but also like, girl, you're in hell. I don't know what you thought was gonna be happening here. Yeah, welcome to hell. Kind of we've kind of been warning people about it. Welcome to hell. We're not fun all the time. Sometimes, but not all the time. But not all the time. So B saves her, he puts her in another room to keep her safe. He goes off to meet Holga the witch, who's been returned from Asmodeus. And again, fan art. She has had every inch of skin stripped from her body. She is just bones. She's just bones wearing this like a skeleton, yes. A skeleton wearing a fancy, you know what? Shut your mouth. But also, why is there a cosplay as this? There are people that are so talented, and I just I want to be a part of them doing this. Um and basically he tells whole guys, like, I want you to help me, and if you do, I'll release your soul, and then you can find eternal peace. That's okay. And she's like, Well, fuck. Like, it's been a pretty shitty hundreds of years, so okay, deal. Um, and he gives her some fruit. He would like her to provide this fruit to Raven for her to eat. And again, another little tip of the hat to the labyrinth. I just fucking love this book. Oh, it just I love it so much. It makes me so happy. Like, if you ever read this book, stop listening to us. Go read this book. If you haven't watched The Labyrinth, what the hell have you been doing? Yeah, it's 2026.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

You've had more than enough time to get this shit together.

SPEAKER_04 21:04

Yeah. You've had they they lend it out at the library for no monies. For no monies, you know, like you've had time. You've had time. Like, okay, anyways, so she meets Holga. She's like, hey, uh, the Lord of Bones, like, he wants you to have a bath because, like, girl, he gonna bang you. Like, just so you know, there's a little plum that he wants you to have and you should eat it. And she eats it and she falls into a deep sleep.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

Yes, we have.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

That sounds like such a nice time. I want a skeleton to bathe me and then feed me poison fruit so I can go to sleep.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

Wow. Um, again, I I know that they named her Raven, but they just didn't want it to be Danielle because it's just not as aesthetic. I get it. Yeah, that's all that it was, but like literally whatever, like wherever your like dream journal is. Of like bucket list, my dreams got. Yeah. They they took it and they wrote a book from this because, like I said, it freaked me out. Not only does your description sound like her, which is already insane, the vibes, but also the way that this girl lives. Like, if I didn't know you and I read a character like Raven, I'd be like, no girl likes like this kind of stuff because I don't like this kind of stuff. But after we had to go bone hunting together, now I know that there are people like this. They're just not me. They're just not me. They're out there hunting bones. Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. So she has a naughty nightmare. Naughty, naughty. Naughty. And the Lord of Bones is there. He's sitting on a throne made of bones, obviously. So he's like the ultimate badass, Matt. Yeah. Um, she's like sitting in his lap. There's this huge queue of souls waiting for their judgment. The River Sticks is flowing through the throne room, and she tells Dream Bone Daddy that she's really into him and that he is her monster girl's wet dream.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Which is also like, I love it.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

It's spicy, but also I'm like, oh, someone could love you, bones and all. Like it also is like very healing.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

And like you know what?

SPEAKER_04 23:18

Yeah. It is for the contemporary romance gal in me. I'm like, oh, that's so nice.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Everybody has perfect bluish scarred skin in his horns. It just does it.

unknown 23:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

Right? Thank you. And he had passed, like, he had cast a spell on the plum, and so obviously he was able to enter her dream. Shh, and then he realizes he's like, oh my god, Cyntabone Daddy. And so he's already like starting to rethink his like plan a little bit of like, you know, torture forever. He's like, I don't know, maybe there's another option. And he shows up in the room, he appears to her in his human form. And although he has antlers, they're adorned with jewels instead of like horns, which a good one. Which is just cool.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

He's got cool a human face, is a little shorter in this form. Yeah. He wears like a different outfit, and he's got like antlers with like chains and charms hanging from it.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

It's so fucking badass. And okay, so we're gonna tell you this, but Raven doesn't know this. They're the same person. Okay. Mori Bones and Belial are the same person. They're the same person. They have two forms. Okay. He has two forms understand this. And she does not, and we're gonna discuss this at the end, but I don't think that throughout this whole entire book that she realizes that he's not the same person. Okay, whoo! Because I was like, uh, I was like, is she the dumbass or am I the dumbass? No, she's the dumbass. Somebody here is the dumbass.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

We get dual POV. Yes. And we get, yeah, yeah. She's a dumbass.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

Woo! We're straight. Okay. So however we call him, it's there's one guy. Okay. Um, so she wakes up and she sees him sitting in the room. He introduces himself and she doesn't realize that it's him, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, Oh, this is my room. Don't worry. Like the Lord of Bones, you don't have to worry about it. I'm gonna be in this room. And she's like, Oh my god, okay. So you're like the ferryman that ferries souls to the other levels of hell. Again, the stuff, the lore that is in this book, it just It's everything. How is this not the biggest book in the world? That's what I want to understand.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Is how I have not kidnapped and forced people to read it enough.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

I'm gonna have to start.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

I'm gonna have to start on that.

SPEAKER_04 25:41

Yeah, you know what? You really should. And okay, so quick little sidebar. I found this book. I was the one who read it first. I know. I got to tell you about it. Isn't that such a good feeling? Oh man, it's been like two years and nothing has knocked me down from that high. Like, nothing. That, ooh, find in a five-star read that is like a god tier book, and getting to share it with your friend and like basically standing outside their window and being like, ha ha ha.

unknown 26:11

Like, what do you think?

SPEAKER_04 26:12

And they like it.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

Like it. You think I like this book? You think I like this book? I'm sorry, my bad, my bad. Rogue word, wrong word.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

Pardon the fucking view. Oh, you found my life story, my manuscript, my biography. Yeah. It felt great. It felt good reading it from someone else's perspective. Yeah, yeah. It and honestly, I'm still writing that high. Like still. If anybody reads this book and this becomes a God tier book, please email me at smut syndicate at gmail.com and tell me how much you like this book because this will get me through the rest of my life. Like this book is that good. Yeah. And I'm so excited. Okay. Anyways, my bad. So she kind of they have like a little spicy thing. We got some wax play. We get a crawl to me. We get a wine bottle. Not where wine bottles go. And he unchains her and lets her loose. She molts. She starts to follow this path that she was taking before. She's back again in front of fucking broke back mountain Catherine. And she's like talking to the teapot and is like, hey, like, how do I get out? And he's like, oh, let me just tell you about all the problems that Catherine had. And she's like, okay. He's like, oh, but she wasn't trying to get out. She was just trying to kill herself. And she's like, okay, uh, can you give me something I can use? And he's like, oh, well, why don't you just leave your human form and hide in some object like the rest of us? And then that way you don't get corrupted and start growing teeth out of your eyes. Uh what?

SPEAKER_00 27:49

I mean, if that's really all it takes, I've done I've done less for more.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

I've done more for less. But also, if I could do like a shot by shot recreation of all like the Beauty and the Beasts, like the Disney movie, by just like line for line being the candlestick and then go be a teapot for a while. Bro, you know I would. I know you would. I know I would. That would be great. And so she realizes that she's gonna need to chance the moving walls. She barely makes it through. She ends up in a room, there's a large mirror, and she's like, sees out the window that there is a massive labyrinth. And the old Lord of Bones so happy. So catches her out, staring out the window, and he's like, Yo, I want you to be my mate. I want you to be my queen. And they come to an agreement that she can try and escape. If she gets out, she can go back home. And if she's unsuccessful, she has to stay and be his queen. And she has three days to make it through. Hell yeah. And then he presents her with a nice little arts and craft gift. He shows her a crown. It's made out of bones. It's a spinal column. It's bad dick mark spinal column.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

If someone killed my boyfriend, made me a crown of bones out of his spine.

SPEAKER_04 29:15

Would you try and get out of the labyrinth?

SPEAKER_00 29:17

I would go lay down and have a three-day nap and be like, okay, cool, wake me up in three days. Yeah. Be like, I couldn't make it out. I was unsuccessful. My bad, bro. Oops, I tried. So she wakes up outside. She has no idea how she got there. There's these like brambles and bushes leading into the labyrinth and a fountain of blood that is so fucking cool. I'm like, I'm like literally rocking back and forth with it. So like can't contain the happiness that is coming out of me. It's like a full body visceral reaction to talking about this book. And it just oh I'm so glad that we're recording in separate locations because I'd be like reaching over and just fucking punching you every five seconds. I can't contain that. And I would accept it.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

By the end, we'd just be covered in blood and we'd be like, yeah, five stars. Love that book. Like it honestly, it's like when you see like something so cute that you want to like pinch it or like shake it and you're just like vibrating with like happiness and excitement. That is how I feel about this book. And the thing that I really feel about this book is I feel like if we tell enough people that it will get the praise and like notice that it deserves, and then it is just like secretly hiding and waiting in the corner for. Yes. And do you know how great? Do you know the high that it would feel to be like, we told people to read it? Girl, you could feel like what I feel. Yes. Yeah. Put it right at my veins. I know. Okay, we're getting sidetracked. We're just gonna go. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Okay, so she knows that she's got to make it through. She's got three days, she's barefoot, she's only wearing this like super thin nightgown. Honestly, I would rather die than walk through Thorns barefoot. But to top it all off, there is a billion body parts strewn throughout the throat, like the thorns and the brambles, but they're still alive.

SPEAKER_04 31:16

Yes, and they're like moving, they're grasping, they're whispering. Matt, I'm weak. I would give up right there. I'd be like, okay, let's go back. I'm the queen. I got my own. All I can think about the whole time is like the smell.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

It's just like the smell of like decomp in various stages. But it's cool. So as this labyrinth changes, essentially it's so what happens with these brambles? There's it's kind of hard to explain it, but I can visualize it. It's like thorn bushes, there's body parts stuck into it, but someone is talking to her. Yes. And she sees that it's not a someone, but it's actually just a severed head in the bush. And this scene gives me like William Worm vibes. Oh, totally. Come in for a tea with the missus.

SPEAKER_04 32:07

But it's just like a rotting, decomposing and personal and a cute little scarf, and he's kind of a dick also. Yeah, there's that. Like he's not, he's not trying to help, and he's not being, no, I not that way. I meant that way. No, he's actually like, fuck you. Good luck. But so but this whole kind of like that's kind of the start to the labyrinth. Is it really, and again, for our labyrinth fucking girlies out there.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

If you know, you know, and if you don't know, you're dead to me.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Whoa. Aggressive, not me, I'll still be your friend. But then y'all, you know, I'm sorry. She's she lives in hell now. I don't know. Things are crazy with her.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

It's okay. I'm happy here. Um, so she finds herself sinking in quicksand, which is a real problem. But Belial comes just in time, tells her if she begs and kisses his shoe, he's gonna save her. So she obviously does that, and he lets the quicksand swallow her. That's true love.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Yeah, it is true. Downtown love. That's what that is.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

But it's okay, because Belial pulls her out, true to his word, but she is so pissed. So they make this little deal. She tells him, if you help me get out of the labyrinth, I will do whatever you want. Okay, so not a very thought-out deal.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

Oh, girl. But he's like ripped out the boyfriend's spine. Like, I know that she sees Belial and not the Lord of Bones at this time, but like, scratch, girl. Did you not watch the labyrinth? Come on.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

The nice thing though is there's magic.

SPEAKER_04 33:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

And he gives her one of his earrings, it's like in the shape of a dagger, and it cuts like a fucking dagger, which is so cool. And he tells her, her blood on this blade will summon him. And then he just like smoke bombs out of there.

SPEAKER_04 33:48

Okay, girl, we need to get smoke bombs, and we need to start using these to dip on conversations. Like, yeah, yeah, we do. I don't know how much money this is. I don't know if you need to like practice with this or something. Well, you have to like set them on fire. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

So you gotta like set it up and like light it, and then once it starts smoking, then you have to like run.

SPEAKER_04 34:11

You can't just like throw it on the ground like they do. Well, I don't think that's real for people like us. I don't know why you're killing my hopes and dreams. Because I was literally planning on like, you know, if you go to like a house party and you're like kind of ready to leave, but they're like, no, no, stay. You're like, okay, I'll stay. And then you just like throw it on the ground. You're like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. We're gonna run some magician.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yes. Still know. Still know.

SPEAKER_04 34:33

We should hire a magician to hang out with us for the day, get a list of questions, and then find out and practice smoke bombs. I'm down. That's what we're doing. Um, so this is turning into more than a game for B. He's starting to feel things for Raven. He's pacing his study when one of his brothers interrupts him by contacting him through the mirror. It is Leviathan, the Lord of Envy.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Okay, I've been telling people for years that mirrors are portals, and the fact that it was like written in this book again is just a testament to the fact that they just stole all of every thoughts you have ever had and put it into a book.

SPEAKER_04 35:09

Pretty much, pretty much. Yeah, yeah. It uh yeah. And his brothers all know that he has something that he's hiding away. Like, obviously, he has agreed to have this party, which like nobody's seen him in hundreds of years. He's like being weird, and like they want a piece of that sweet pie too. Yeah, gross. And they're like, We'll see you in a few days at the all Hello's Eve party. Also, like TikTok, that's when the clock runs out on Raven's escape. Like the night of the All Hello's Eve, she either go and leave or she's gonna show up to the party as your queen. Um, he needs to get the mansion ready, he's gotta hide some souls that he's had laying around, and Ovi, like the other lords know that he hasn't been sending down souls. They just don't know how many are hanging around. Right. That's the big thing.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah, but first he's gotta put them to work to clean up his like crusty old mansion, and then off they go for more torture in another layer of hell. So that's nice.

SPEAKER_04 36:07

Oh yay. You know, it's like double torture cleaning, housework, and actual torture.

SPEAKER_00 36:14

And then actual torture.

SPEAKER_04 36:15

Right? So she's got two days left. It's raining, she's freezing, she has no clue where she's going. The severed heads are giving her the business. It's low-key so fucking funny. Yeah, it's um and the head tells her, like, hey, you're heading to the master's garden and it and his plum tree. But of course, two seconds later, the head doesn't remember saying anything. Like, she's like, What? What'd you say? And he's like, What? I didn't say it's shit. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. It's like, oh, okay, how about this? And she gets pissed, grabs the head, and drop kicks him into the maze again.

SPEAKER_00 36:45

I actually laugh so hard over this chapter when they're like shit talking her and she just snaps and like yanks one out of the bramble, the brambles, and like football punts it into a puddle where it essentially drowns, even though it can't die. Yeah. Go for her. She takes zero shit.

SPEAKER_04 37:04

Again, this is something that I picture you doing. Like, it I don't know. It's so funny. Um, so she finds a courtyard with the plum tree. Your girl wants another dirty dream, so she eats the plum.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

And Lord of Bones is like, uh, what's she doing? Like, okay. So he's been also carving the days into her wrist to reminder how many days it's been, which scarification, baby. All right. Again, that's very got two more to go.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

Bring them on. And he's like, You can give up now. Never. Never give up. Never saranda. And then she's just like, okay. She wakes up, there's a vine wrapped around her ankle, it's dragging her. The heads are laughing at her, like, ha ha, bitch, the blood oak got you. Like, um, hello, you're dead. Blood oak? Yeah. The blood oak. It is described like the tree out of sleepy hollow. Okay, we're talking Johnny Depp Sleepy Hollow. It's horrible. It stinks. The tree is made of flesh, it's got blood, there's body parts, and the tree knots all have teeth, and they're chewing and digesting bodies.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

If you, if you have a weird thing with teeth, this is not the book for you. I love this. Yeah. I love this so much. It is terrifying. And the whole time that she's being dragged by the vine, she's in her head, like, uh, I should have worked out. I should have done that Pilates class.

unknown 38:32

Right?

SPEAKER_04 38:33

Which is like totally what you say to yourself when you are working out. Is she like, man, you don't, you know, one day you'll regret not working out. But I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 38:43

If the only way I did those lunges, I wouldn't be getting eaten by a flesh-eating tree. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:49

I feel like we've all been there. That would not be what was going through my head. But you know what? Get it, girl. Um, and like the heads are like, girl, just die. We're trying to rotten peace. Like, rotten piece. They kill me, man. And she grabs that little dagger earring that Belliel gave her to summon him, but instead of summoning him, she used it to try and stab the tree. Love it.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

So she's like carving away at this vine that's got her, and she accidentally like cuts herself. So she does end up summoning him.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

And he's like, Girl, you could have just done this so long ago, but she's actually so stubborn that she doesn't need no man. Okay. Every scene with the heads gives me so much happiness. It's just, it's so labyrinth, I could literally die. Yes. It is oh, but it's done so well.

SPEAKER_04 39:40

Like it's done right. It's labyrinth, but it's also like not a shot for shot of the labyrinth. It's just so many perfect.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

It's exactly all it's exactly what a retelling should be. Yes. Yes. It is perfection.

SPEAKER_04 39:55

It it it honestly it is. And the nice thing is that the story of the labyrinth is so good. So that if you haven't seen this the labyrinth and you're not like a nutcase like us, you would read this and still be like, this is the best book that I've ever read. Like I watch Labyrinth once a week.

SPEAKER_00 40:11

Oh, because it's I don't watch movies. I watch Labyrinth once a week.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

Yeah, well, your dog is named after a character from the labyrinth. So that's just it, it just it makes it it was written for me.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

The dedication should have just been like, hey, Danielle, we were in your brain for a little while. Here you go.

SPEAKER_04 40:28

That's what it should have been. Sorry about the flashbacks. Okay, bye. Like, okay, so Bellielle explains to Raven that the haunted tree and the other creatures of the maze are souls that awaited judgment too long, and they went crazy. Wild. That's why the souls in the mansion left their bodies and they jumped into items, and it's like essentially to save their minds. Love that. And she warns B like, hey, the Lord of Bones is gonna torture you for helping like me.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

And like, hey, we know something you don't know. We know something you don't know. Stupid human.

SPEAKER_04 41:04

Right? They want to make a trade bargain and she trades for her boots. They were taken from her in the pits of like a million grabby hands, and obviously your girl's going through a maze. She needs footwear. Also, they're Doc Martins. Bro, my purple Doc Martens are like, I don't even like to wear them because I love them so much. Like, yeah, I want to be buried in mine for sure. Like, uh, yeah. So we get it, girl. Um, in exchange, he wants her to worship him.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

I mean, that seems fair. That seems really fair to me. Right.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

It doesn't even seem like a trade. It just seems like you're getting lots of stuff. Neat.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

This bitch, though, he tells her he will punish her on the statue of the Lord of Bones because where they made it into the labyrinth so far into the garden area, there is a giant statue of Lord of Bones. And he's like, come on. So she tells him, Go fuck yourself. Yeah. And then she also says, then again, you probably do all the time, why else would that hand be so strong? I think that there's something about like a female character that's written to just be like a real mouthpiece that does it for me.

SPEAKER_04 42:25

Yeah. You know, because it's man, my like thing. Humor, humor's my thing. If I meet someone who's funny, that's my that's my crypton. That's your kryptonite. But a strong second to humor is wit. And having like the wits. I wish I had wit. Oh, me too. Me too. I've encountered a few people that have it, and I am just mesmerized. Like, I just, I'm like, t carry me around like in a fucking baby bjorn, and I just want to hear you like interact with people because you're so witty. You know, and I want to take nave like, oh my god, it just wit. And that's what it is. That's how these characters are written is they think the things that two hours later we'd be like, you know what? Go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

Like your shower thoughts a day later.

SPEAKER_04 43:17

Yeah. But they're doing it in real time. And that's like, love it. And so Raven gives his dick a little kiss. That's nice. They part ways, and he tells her, When you get to the river Styx, go against the current, stay away from the water, your soul won't be able to escape that one.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

Yes. Again, I love real quick. Yeah. Again, the descriptors in this book, the River Styx, is described as like a thick, bloody river with body parts and like ghoulies, and like oh kind of like the ooze from Ghostbusters. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:52

Sure. The second one though. Um B goes invisible invisible and he follows Raven through the labyrinth. He's a man obsessed. He wants her to need him, but also like she a tough bitch. She don't need no man. And so he's got this like cave full of ancient horrors. And he's like, let's make her need my help. Like he wants her to have to keep making deals with him, calling on him. Also, he wants her to fail. But like, he knows she ain't gonna fucking make it through.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

He's gonna release something worse than the blood oak into Labyrinth to force her to have to call for him. And this is so toxic, but I also kind of love it. Yes, also like I feel that.

SPEAKER_04 44:35

Like even sometimes when my hubby will be like, I could do the laundry myself, and then he like totally fucks it up. I'm like, that's right. I'm the bitch that does the laundry. Oh my god. Super toxic, but also I'm like, see how good I got those stains out? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

You couldn't do that if you tried.

SPEAKER_04 44:56

You don't know which one of the laundry soaps you mix with the borax. That's right. Only I do. But you know, like kind of like that. Um so she's making her way to an older part of the maze. Everything is more mangled, it's more twisted, and there's no more sounds. There's no more severed heads that are speaking. Their time has like, they've essentially lost their minds. Yeah, which they're headless. Um, you know, and they don't even call out, they don't even move, they don't anything.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Yeah. Raven is she down bad for Death's Ferryman. Yeah. Um, so the thing that the Lord of Bones released is a giant skeletal serpent with razor teeth, flames for eyes, and he hungry. She is running for her life and can only go one way to the river. So she decides that trying to clear the river and slam into a wall of like thorns and brambles is better than being eaten by the snake or being trapped in purgatory via the river. So she just fucking launches herself over. And the hands and body parts kind of catch her, and then she realizes they're helping her. Yes. So they're moving her along without hurting her, and when the snake goes to attack the corpses, end up holding it down in the river. Yes. So successful. And then the body parts are starting to see her as like the future queen, so that's kind of nice for her. Because again, like we're on day two, you got one more day, and this bitch is gonna rule over all y'all. So pretty nice to her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:30

Feels to have friends.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

It feels good, but it's nightfall. Lord of Bones is there, he carves that second line into her skin, gives her a little forehead kiss, and tucks her in for the night. So not that's not actually what happens. She tells him, Oh, good, the Lord of Assholes showed up. And honestly, like her being such a sarcastic bitch makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

That's so good.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Like almost dying in the first layer of hell and being a slave to literally the devil. No, no, that will not change her. I won't change for no man.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

I know who I am. I'm a strong independent woman. Independent woman.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

Yeah. He admits that he's been watching her the whole time, including when she's with Belial and she, being a self-sacrificer, says, Don't hurt him. And he's like, Oh, by the way, tomorrow's all Halloween's Eve. We must dance. There will be a party with a bunch of homies. My brothers are coming, and you will sit on my lap on my throne. Why would she even argue that? I'd be like, okay, can we just uh like what am I move along?

SPEAKER_04 47:36

Yeah, like what am I gonna wear?

SPEAKER_00 47:38

Like, do you have an outfit for me or like what? So she's got the big sad, she is running out of time, she just wants Belial there, so she summons him. And I mean, how she has not abused the summoning power is beyond.

SPEAKER_04 47:53

If you call him every four minutes where he's like, Okay, I'm taking that back.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

I'd be like, Oh, okay, my bad, my bad. Yeah. But you said I could. I'm we skip over all of the spice in this book, but I am telling you it is like 70% spice. There is a lot. It is good spice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:12

It is very good spice. We're talking piercings.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

It is good. It is good.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

So she's like completely naked except for her boots now. Belial's there, and he's like cracking the but did you die jokes on her, which is like so funny because they're literally in hell. And they make another deal. So he's gonna take her back to the castle for the night so that she can have a bath, she's gonna get some food, some clothes, and then he'll return her to this exact spot in the morning. But the price is he gets to do whatever he wants to her overnight.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:50

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Do I have to?

SPEAKER_04 48:53

Yeah, I'd make that deal.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

I'd make that deal. So they go to Belial's room and he brings her to the bathroom and he starts filling up the tub and like kneels before her to take her boots off, which like yeah. He is being so sweet and gentle with her, and then once the bath is ready, he like picks her up and literally tosses her ass in. He's still death incarnate.

SPEAKER_04 49:14

Yay, don't get it twisted.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Oh, she goes under and is like struggling. She is basically drowning, and when she surfaces, he's like, Yeah, that's the shit I like. Because he's a little freak and he enjoys watching her suffer in controlled environments.

SPEAKER_04 49:32

Girl. It just uh it's the one that you want to like post on Instagram and brag about. Like, it can't be. We've been together for three days. Like, he just shows me that he cares for me in all the ways. Like, let me stab him yesterday. I let him drown me. He choke slammed me in the bath, like, uh yeah. Such a sweet moment. My man. Oh my god, yes.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

Yes, they do have these like really aggressive pre fuck moments, yeah, but they're almost always followed by like something really sweet. So like he ends up joining her in the bath and he tells her how he was once human, maybe one of the first humans, and she wants him to take off his mask and tell her how he got his scars.

SPEAKER_04 50:33

And I need a prequel of his story. I want the human bee story so bad. Once I was like really.

SPEAKER_00 50:44

I want them to lie to me about it because if he was one of the first humans, that means he was like a Neanderthal. I don't want that. I want him to be witty.

SPEAKER_04 50:53

Yeah, yeah. We don't like just tell it to us in some kind of like Dracula-esque. The whole kind will just be like five cave drawings.

SPEAKER_03 51:03

And they were just the audiobook. Can you be Hamilton? Yes, Teddy, we need to narrate the audiobook of B.

SPEAKER_04 51:21

First human or like a freaking fish when it comes out of water and then just dies.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

Yeah. I also want it to be like the dramatized version. So there's like dinosaur sounds in the background and like stones on stones making fire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:36

And then like excited like noises about the fire being created. Yes. Okay. Well, I want both. I want my story and I want your story. I'll read both. Both will be enjoyable for some other reasons.

SPEAKER_00 51:52

Um, so they actually have like a normal-ish conversation for once until he tells her that his scars are from when he died, but like don't ask how because he doesn't remember. Which is so sad. And also, I don't know why. It just like so mysterious. You mean all of these? You got all of these when you die? Tell me about it.

SPEAKER_04 52:11

Right? He's like, I was in an underthal. It happened from a dinosaur.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Come on, it was literally just him being eaten alive by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

SPEAKER_04 52:18

Right. Well, this, okay, so when I don't know how I didn't like really pick up on it the first like five times that I read this book, but it was really the sixth time when I picked up on it.

SPEAKER_00 52:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:29

If you're thinking about it, like he got, they have a plan. They have a plan. He's got scars, he doesn't really remember. Like, there is a plan. I know they have it. I want that book. I want that prequel so bad. Yeah, consider this our official special request. Yes. Please. Yeah. For just a sweet little baby.

SPEAKER_00 52:52

Uh, speaking of sweet little babies, B puts on a dress for Raven. Holga would be bringing her food soon, and he thought about her feelings for one, which was so freaking cute. And he like pulls her on top of his lap, facing away from him, and tells her to close her eyes. And if she opens them, straight to the dungeons. Straight to the dungeons. And then he takes his mask off and kisses her.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

They're in love. They're in love.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

This is what brings them like a little feast, and he asks Cecil to be brought to the room, and Raven admits that she's a monster fucker and like reads monster romance books, which is like a funny thing for her to like transition to when she sees the guy with fucking teeth in his eye sockets. I wouldn't be thinking about sex in that moment, but like you do you girl. Like, yeah. It's just so gross. I know we've already discussed the description, but like every time he comes off the page, I'm like, oh, do you think they like clack? Do you think like when he blinks it's like like how dogs like chatter?

SPEAKER_04 53:50

Like and like can he eat in the eye mouth? Oh, you know, something's gone in that eye mouth.

SPEAKER_00 53:58

What's going in there? Something's gone in there before. What's going on? Anyways, back to the story. Yeah. So Belial is obsessed. Like, like obsessed, obsessed. Raven is his. Cecil returns with a book and it's a gift. He calls it when so when he explains to Raven what this is, he calls it the book of souls. And he has a little gift for her. So basically, the Lord of Bones keeps a library of souls that he deems worthy of saving from the lower levels of hell. Love it. Each soul has its own book and it records the most special moments from that person's life. So the moments most deeply ingrained into their hearts when they died. And it's in those special memories where they're most happy that their soul lives for the rest of time. So the library of souls is the closest thing to an eternal paradise that a mortal can get. And he asks her if she wants to see what that looks like for this particular soul that he had Cecil bring the book for. And that book is for her father. I love it so much. Daddy issues. Yeah. Um, so she's gonna do it. She agrees to see what his final resting place is like, and it drop kicks her in the fucking feelings dick. Yeah. Because she sees that all the best moments of her father's life are like him as a kid getting good grades, his first dance, his first car, meeting her mom, and then having her. And she tells him that this is the best gift she's ever been given.

SPEAKER_04 55:35

Girl, after I read this book, I just like I changed to me what my heaven and hell is going to be. It is going to be this to live in eternal paradise, and you'll be placed in a book, which is my favorite place to be, and experience my happy memories forever. Yeah. Like that's inception, a book within a book within a book, because maybe I'm already dead.

SPEAKER_00 56:09

I mean, I heard the world ended in 2016 or something.

SPEAKER_04 56:13

So maybe this is what happened because we're already dead and we're just like rereading books and we're already in our eternal parent. Like, I don't know. I loved it. I thought that it was such a great way to handle because the like when you write a book like this, because we've read a few of these, you know, the Hades books, the Hill, the this kind of situation. And it always is like very hard to write something, and it's really hard to write like what you have, what you envision, and what you you know, and and he's in Hill. Like they're obviously it's it's a really weird and interesting thing to write, but to write it this way is just oh my god, I love it so much. I haven't seen it done in any other book, I haven't seen anything that even comes close to it. No, it's just genius. It's just so imaginative. It's just so imaginative, and it just it really shows you how incredible these two are for as authors because they are chef's kiss. But also it it's just showing like that, even though he is the Lord of Bones, he is Death Incarnate, he still does have like a good soul because he's trying to give paradise to these souls. Like there was a part of To the good ones, to the good ones, right? Yeah, there was a part of him that's been like slacking on his job and he doesn't want to send people down to his brothers, but there's also I think a part of him that has not been sending souls down because he knows that his brothers torture the souls because his brothers are shit from a butt and he's actually kind of a good guy.

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Yeah, we love him. So he's like starting to admit to himself that he has completely fallen for Raven and they bang. Yeah, but she's also admitting to herself that she has fallen in love with him, and him being Belial because Lord of Bones is still a separate entity to her and he's a bad guy. Um It's we we get there in the second book a little bit more. But yeah. So she has to go back to the labyrinth. He doesn't want her to, he tells her, if she willingly gives her soul to him, then the Lord of Bones can't claim it himself. Idiot. Idiot. He's like, let me just sweeten the deal. I got you a new wardrobe for the day. And I literally wear an outfit like this all the time. It's a heart cut out of a black top, tights, docks, and a skirt. That's like my that's like my almost every other day uniform. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 58:47

You wear that outfit all the time. I know. Girl, I told you this book is you. That's why we might already be dead. We might already be dead.

SPEAKER_00 58:59

That's a really good point. Really good point.

SPEAKER_04 59:02

Like, I don't know. This book, yeah, I love it so much, but also it like gives me the heebie jeebies. Like I said, the first time I read it, I was like, this book is like a book that you've read a million times, except I know I've never read this book before. And it's like, it's like coming home. It's like a warm mug of tea. Like it's just so comforting and familiar. Except I was like, it's like deja vu.

SPEAKER_00 59:26

Is it because it's familiar because it reminds you of someone in your life?

unknown 59:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 59:32

Or is it familiar because it reminds you of another book? I think it's both of those.

SPEAKER_04 59:38

I think it's because, like we have read the dark-haired although girl with the peekaboo color, you know, like I yes, we have read these characters before in a whole bunch of books. And we have read the like going to hell and the whatever else, but they just do it in such a way in this book that it just reminds you of everything. It reminds me of this is the quintessential millennial paranormal dark romance book. If you are ages 25 to 45, you will love this book because this will remind you of so many weird little things that you've seen in your life.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:18

Like it just It's so nostalgic, yes, in weird ways. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:22

Yes, in the in the weird kind of fantasy, like the dark fantasy that used to be like a big part of the 80s and 90s. That is this book. Like they just killed it. Loved it, loved it. Okay, anyways, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

So back to it. So again, he's like got her this little outfit, and uh she's like, fuck yeah, dude. But only if you take off your mask and show me your face. Trade for trade. He's just gonna take it off, okay? Just take off the mask. Yeah. Uh, problem is last time he did that and showed Catherine, she started trying to kill herself. Um, and she told him that no one would love him because he was fuck ugly. So that's not very nice. Yeah. She said he might be like a lord of the underworld, but he still has feelings.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

No, she said, Who could ever truly love a beast? B that's the beauty of the beast shit right there.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:13

I could. So he walks her to a portal and gives her one chance, like a final out. She can return to her mortal life. Here's a portal, go back home. Bye. Or here's a sweet little outfit.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:31

And he admits that he cares for her, and that's all it takes for her to stay. She's gonna give her soul to him, but he has to take off his mask. Which is like, I feel like that's fair. You're gonna dam yourself to hell and literally hand your soul over to the ferryman of hell for a lot of people. I want to see what I want to see what your face looks like, right? Like, yeah. So it's fair. So he finally does. He has been sliced and diced, but we love scarred. So it's cool. One in particular is basically cutting his face in half, and he recalls it was from a halberd. Oh my god. Could you imagine getting halberded in the fucking face?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:11

Wait, it's a halberg.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:13

A halbird? It's a medieval weapon.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:16

It's like a giant Okay, I'm looking it up right now. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Oh, I wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:25

So it's like a spear with like an axe kind of bladed upon it. So yeah, he got one of those to the face.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:31

It looks hella pokey. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:34

She's obviously into it. Yeah, of course. He kisses her, and with that, he takes her soul. So she passes out in his arms and he carries her. At midnight that night, it's the all Hallows Eve girl. And he will reveal who he really is.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

And the story continues in book two.

unknown 1:02:58

What?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:00

How did they leave us with that? Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:02

When we first read this book, book two wasn't out.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:06

Like, do you remember? Thank God both of them are out now because when I do these rereads, I'm like, oh, right on to the next one. Yeah. No. But when they dropped that shit on us the first time. Fuck, I was mad.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:20

Like, ooh, somebody was gonna get a hurt real bad. Like, I real bad. I didn't know how to live when I just I just closed the book and I was like, okay, so like what? And I think when it first came out, I don't even think that we had a date or a title. Like, we found this book somehow, we me. It was all you. It was all me. I just found it. I was just like looking through books that were available. Like I was just using Goodreads or something where I was like, if you like this book, maybe I'll like this book. If you like this book, maybe I'll like this book. And I saw the cover and I was like, I think I'll like that book. And I started reading it. And I really, really do not like to recommend books to people until I have finished it because I have accidentally told you to read a book, and then I get like four chapters later, and I'm like, oh, this book is not so good. And then I'm like stuck with the recommendation, so we gotta write it out. This book, I think I told you like two chapters in. I was like, Cam, reading this book and like take it with a grain of salt. And it is really, really good. And I think that you might be the main female character just saying. And you read it, and our life changed from that moment. Yes, our life changed from that moment. And yeah, so if you um are reading this, or you're going to read it, or you want to read the second one, do not worry. We will be covering Queen of Carrion, that is book two. Of course we will. Like, we can't. We have been waiting and wanting to talk about this book and this series for forever. Obviously. Obviously. Like, we absolutely love it. So um, gang, thanks again for listening. And truly, truly, truly, thank you to everyone that has been leaving us reviews, yeah, ratings, those comments on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, the emails. Honestly, it makes our whole week. Like, and we read every single one. We do, and like we are so jazzed when we see those. And you know, you might think like, oh, I just like hit like a little review or like a star rating. I look at that stuff. Like anytime I see that, I'm like, ah! And that's like it gets us so jazzed. So we honestly we super appreciate it. And you know, those emails and stuff that lets us know that we're on the right path with this whole podcast thing because like we know that we're funny, but like maybe we're not actually funny. Like and You can check us out on our socials. We are everywhere at Smut Syndicate. Um, our most current reads, our book giveaways, stuff that we have upcoming, events that we're going to. We have got so many events that we are going to now. We so many the majority of that on Instagram. So that is the best place to kind of check us out. But like I said, we're we're everywhere. So whatever works for you works for us. Uh thanks again, guys. Live, laugh, laugh, moral trash.