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Dissonance - Book Report
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Today’s book report covers Dissonance book 1 in the Falling Star Trilogy by Adeline Humphries. This is a rockstar second chance dark romance.
Trigger Warnings - Drug Use & Murder
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Welcome, Smutlings, to another book report on Smut Syndicate, where your hosts, Charlie and Did Yell. Today we are going dark. Pitch black with dissonance by Adeline Humphreys. I'm so excited. Oh, it's so good. This is a rock star second chance romance with lots of drug use and killing throughout. So please make sure you check your trigger warnings when you read this book. And I will also add trigger warnings to the show notes about what we discuss today. Yes. Dissonance is book one in the Fallen Star trilogy, which we will be covering all three books in the next three episodes. In these three episodes. However, that works. It follows whatever that works. However that works. One, two, three. You get it. Yeah. It follows the story of rock star musician Jude Graves and the childhood love he left behind Emma Easton. Oh my god. Yes. This series is absolutely gut-wrenching. I have not felt this way about a book since reading Edge of Darkness the first time by Lynn Gray.
SPEAKER_01I actually agree with you 100% on that. Like the same feelings that I had reading the words and Edge of Darkness.
SPEAKER_00But together in that was the other one that I was thinking. Yes, the word Edge of Darkness. Not neat, one little stab your heart multiple times package. Yeah. So if you want pain, buckle up because this is the one. So spoilers, ahead. We meet Jude. He is currently on tour with his band Sin. Love that name. With bandmates Micah, his bestie, and two others, Kai and Finnick. Jude mid-performance overdoses and collapses in front of thousands of people. His manager, Nolan, has decided that what Jude and Micah, who is also using, need is some time away to relax and get their shit together. The boys get sent back to Jude's childhood town of Seaside. And how crazy is it that we've actually been there?
SPEAKER_01All I could think about, and I think that I say this every time we talk about it, but Oregon is probably my favorite place on the planet.
SPEAKER_00I yes.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what it is. It just makes me feel a certain way. So the fact that like this whole book is pretty much in places that like we've been, and I'm like, Yeah. Yeah, I think that it made it even worse. Like it hurt my feelings even more. Because I was like, no. I was with him the whole time.
SPEAKER_00No, it felt so good. And it was just honestly, it was so cool because like we've been to seaside, not once, but twice. And like actually quite recently. Yeah. And honestly, it just felt so good. Like I loved it because I could just kind of like picture and it was like, oh, they're driving up to Portland. And I was like, I know how long it takes to get there.
SPEAKER_01Because we're Canadian and we don't measure anything in actual distance, just time travel.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's just time travel. Yes, 100%. But no, I I feel the exact same way. Like it was just, oh, I was like, I love this. It makes me so happy. Okay, so the worst part is that they are sending Jude and Micah to seaside to get better, but it's because they are the ones that are ruining their lives. They are the ones giving them the drugs. And specifically, Nolan's assistant Adriana, who is a she-devil that I refuse to feel sorry for, um, has been keeping him addicted for years and acts like they're in some kind of weird relationship. She might be my new number one top-hated arch nemesis of any book ever. She is the Chris of this book.
SPEAKER_01I fucking hated her. Oh my god. I just wanted to reach up there and make her publish. Just rip her head off.
SPEAKER_00And there is like definitely times in the books where like she is talking about how she is also trapped in this and she doesn't like her life. And you know, Jude's the only one that makes her feel free. Girl, I hate you. I don't care about your problems. Okay. This is not your book. You're not gonna get the sympathy from me. Exactly. Um because she uses the drugs to make him do things that he would not do sober. So fuck her. Fuck her, fuck her. Nolan has determined that a rock star, not determined, he has figured out that a rock star can do his dirty work very easily because he can get it to places that others can't. Because also nothing is like super unexpected because he's just some like drug addict rocker. Yeah, Nolan, right? Nolan has been using Jude to off people. Like, what I was not expecting that, honestly.
SPEAKER_01I was not expecting that either, but also like, where are people getting this training? I want to know, like, where the specialized you have like a seemingly normal outside life. Okay, yeah, you're like crazy addict on some very hard substances that albeit are not being injected into you by yourself, like people are drinking to you. But like, at what point did they just like carve out a couple weeks, months? How long does it take to become a trained killer?
SPEAKER_00I think this is a trial and error thing. I think it's a lot easier to do. I think you're telling me. Fake it till you make it. Yeah, I think this is a fake it till you make it kind of situation. And because, you know, like if you kind of have people to clean up the mess behind you, or people like, I don't see nothing, you know, you've got money. Money fixes a lot of problems, number one. But also the people that he are, you know, that he's taking out, it's not like they're other, you know, spies or like, you know, the elite. It's probably other drug addicts. It's other dirtbags, you know, it's just dirtbags. It's other dirtbags, yeah, right. Like, so yeah, he's just out dirtbagging them, which good on you. Um, and it's like he's so messed out of his mind, there's basically nothing that Jude can do to stop this. Otherwise, the drugs that they have got them hooked on will stop. And Nolan has told him that he will give all this evidence that he has on him over to the police and that he'll go to jail basically forever. So, and like he makes this threat all the time, as well as when they step out of line or they, you know, try and fight back or say, like, hey, I don't want to do this, he'll punish Jude and Micah by forcing unhealthy withdrawals on them, by just locking them into rooms and being like, There you go. Okay, check it out, man. Happy to be.
SPEAKER_01My biggest pet peeve of all time with these types of books is you have this like trained killer with like nothing to lose. Why don't you ever kill the guy that's the problem? Oh, hey, I didn't even think about that. Put a knife in Nolan and be like, all right.
SPEAKER_00And then I guess like but also I've never been addicted to intravenous drugs. So maybe your mind is not a hundred percent there. Maybe you're not planning and scheming as well as we are. Did you ever think about that?
SPEAKER_01No, you're right. I didn't because I'm selfish and I already think about what I would do. You're right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Also, Jude is a perfect angel, so he will take no criticism from you. No criticism. All right. I know that I say this all the time. Yeah. And I'm gonna say it, and this time I'm gonna mean it. Yes. I think that he might be my favorite. Yeah, you have a problem. Uh I have too many boyfriends. Yes. I just there's too many of them. There's too many. Anyways, okay, you're throwing me off track. We then meet Emma. She is like a trauma therapist. I don't know exactly what her job title is.
SPEAKER_01She's an artiste.
SPEAKER_00She's an artiste who also heals. She's a healing artiste. Yes, there we go. She uses painting as a way to help her clients say what their mouths can't and start their healing process.
SPEAKER_01Which I love for them. However, if I was ever in a situation where they're like, you're gonna paint this fucking picture and get your feelings out, I would be fucking full of rage.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_01Nothing. Trash the whole studio and you'd be like, those were my feelings. I would be eating paint by the spoonful. Oh, you want to see me, you want to see me show my feelings?
SPEAKER_00What do you think of my art? Yeah, it would not go well. Art attack, literal. Literal, literal. So Emma and Bestie, Heather, they go out one night to Portland and she sees Jude and Micah. Could you Oh my God, oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Okay, this is a very what would you do in this situation question I have for you. The love of your life who leaves you at your doorstep with like literally no explanation. What, like eight years earlier? And then you see that they're like rise to fame, plus they almost like die on stage, and they're like obviously not doing well, but you never got over them, and you see them in the back alley of this bar. What do you do?
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, I do not have the balls that she has. There is no way that I would go up and talk to her. Yeah, but she's healed away.
SPEAKER_01She has healed through.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, I have not healed. I'm eating paint. Like, I have not healed. There's no way. And honestly, I was thinking that too. Like, because I absolutely want that for the characters when I'm reading books. I want them to be stronger and braver than I am, but absolutely I pretend that I wouldn't like that I didn't see them and turn and go the other way.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. What would you do? I feel like it would be like a little bit of both. Like I would probably I think that you would bring rage. I yeah. I don't think it would be like the one that got away. I'd be like, oh, the one that got away.
SPEAKER_01And I would go straight for a dick kick. Like a running drop kick straight to the groin.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01So sorry I missed you.
SPEAKER_00I didn't know how to I don't know how to project my feelings. You get a punch in the head. Like, yeah, I that's 100% that I think would happen. So, like you had said before, they broke up seven years ago. They were teenage sweethearts, and Jude basically left Emma after his first meeting with manager Nolan, which that would be such a hard breakup because I would assume that he chose fame over me. That he was like, Oh, cool. Now I could get the good wife. Like, oh yeah, it it would not be great. And this was a relationship that neither of them got over. Emma notices right away that like Jude looks like absolute shit. He's strung out, he's rough. She approaches him and asks if he needs help, and he turns and walks away. Yeah. I would go home and cry. I would do so I would go to McDonald's, I would get ice cream, I would get sour candies. Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_01I would be chasing him.
SPEAKER_00You would chase him.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'd be fist fighting him. There's, I don't know. You're right. My my feelings project in a lot more violent manner than yours do. Absolutely. But it would be like one of those, like, God is testing me, and I have not studied situations, and just the worst possible case scenario would happen for everybody to go.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I would for sure go home and cry, and this would control my life for the next like four months. Like, oh, that would a shun. He just shun, no words.
SPEAKER_01A shun shun. But also, he has blocked your number for the last seven years. You can't even like text him and be like, you punk ass bitch. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00No, you just have to like sit and stew on it. Yeah. Oh, and you know you're stewing on it. You know, like at tomorrow at work, you're feeling like shit. You weren't sleeping. Like, that's why I'm like, Emma, you the queen, girl. You the queen.
SPEAKER_01We need art. That's what we need.
SPEAKER_00Yes, we need art. If I could paint better, I could I could heal a lot better. So much better for us. Yes. So this makes like this little interaction he leaves, whatever. Emma realizes Jude's in the area. Like he here in Portland. And because the girl has not taken enough of a beating, she goes to see his parents, who still live in Seaside, who she still has like contact with, even though they have not seen their son in years.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because they're like bros with her parents.
SPEAKER_00It's my worst nightmare.
SPEAKER_01That's my worst fucking nightmare.
SPEAKER_00Right? You can't just cut. No clean break. No. No clean break. Oh, I know. I'm a like you're dead to me kind of person. This one, you're involved forever. And like they know, they've been following his career, they've seen his like very public overdoses. They know he's in trouble, but he ain't calling them. He's got that block too. And they're basically like, yeah, like he's got a place here. She shows up at his front door. That's fucking crazy. Girl, no, in this economy, never. Never. Oh my god. And even like I felt nervous reading this part of the book because I do not have those guts. Like, I was like, oh my God. Is he gonna slam the door in her face? Like, what's gonna happen? It actually turns out good for her. They have, you know, the like, oh, you're my ex, what up? And she invites Jude and Micah to her studio the following day to paint. And this opens up the door for them to start repairing.
SPEAKER_01I don't think that that would ever be something that I would even consider. Ever.
unknownNo, no.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely not. Because, yeah, but you're good at painting. So why would you because I wouldn't, because I'm really bad at painting.
SPEAKER_01But like also sh apparently she is also, which like good for you, girl. Get it. But I have like a weird thing with like dealing with secondhand embarrassment for other people. So if somebody around me is like, if I'm embarrassed for you, I feel that on like a visceral level. You come to my art studio and you paint like shit, now I'm gonna be feeling like shit. Don't do that. Don't come to my art studio and be a bad artist.
SPEAKER_00That is not what this art studio is about. But okay. But also, yeah, girl, yeah. When embarrassing shit happens to people, man, I just I'm like, I gotta take a knee. Which is crazy.
SPEAKER_01Because like, have you met us?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. I don't care if embarrassing shit happens to me. I feel bad for other people. With me, it's expected. But if it's like someone else, you know, if I see someone waving and they're not waving at the person wasn't waving at them, and you can see the like, ugh, I'm like, we gotta go somewhere, man. Like, let's let's move to another country. This is horrible. That's what I feel too. But if I do it, I'm like, idiot. Like, of course it would happen to me.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I don't feel embarrassment for myself, just other people. I get it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Um, so there are a few flashbacks throughout this book, and in one of them we learn what actually happened to Jude when he first met Nolan. Which is he was taken to some oh, it's so sad. Which is this is why the fucking dual POV. Love it. He was taken to some flashy Hollywood party, given hard drugs for the first time. And when he came to, he realized that he was in the middle of a crime scene. Nolan basically told him, uh, yeah, you might have sliced and dice someone. I will cover for you. You gotta sign with my label and pretty much like built it all from there. You know, started with that first one and just had him in. He went home that day and broke it off with Emma, fearing what it would do to her if she ever found out, but also feeling like he was now not good enough for her.
SPEAKER_01I have a theory.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, tell me.
SPEAKER_01I don't think he killed anybody that night. I think they fucking got him scared. Girl, that's my theory too. Staged this crime scene, like, you did this, and then they blackmailed him, and I think that that's my theory.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well, we're gonna find out because we're continuing with the books, so stay tuned with us to see if we're right. Um yeah, because I also think that because that's just how these cocksuckers are. They'll they'll stage anything to ruin your life. I hate Nolan and I hate Adriana. Same, same. Um, Micah and Emma's bestie Heather, they're immediately taken with each other and they are the perfect match. And I pray that they get their own book. Oh, they better. I don't know what that book would be, but I would eat it up. Me too. Emma wants to, she decides right away, like, okay, so they pretty much right away, they're like, okay, you know, they were obviously meant to be together, they're right back in their feelings, things are going real good. Emma wants to help Jude and Micah get away from Nolan, Adriana, the whole scene, the whole horrible thing. They mentioned this guy, Rook, a computer whiz that might be able to get the evidence Nolan is holding against Jude. Big problem. Rook hates Jude's guts because he may have murdered his brother. Oops. Not may, because he did murder his brother. You know how that happened. Uh, mistakes happen, man. I didn't know. I didn't know I need your help. Yeah. It's okay. If I would have known that I would have needed your help, I wouldn't have done it. Okay. Yeah, right. Okay. They start like over the next few weeks. We get obviously he's going to give her the onions. Yep. And it is very spicy. Love it. Yes. Adeline writes a fabulous spice scene. The couple grow closer. Jude and Emma end up admitting their feelings for each other and they start planning a future, marriage, house, babies, the whole works. Oh my god, I hope that there's a pregnancy trope that happens.
SPEAKER_01The whole time, I know he's still shooting up, and he still is having Adriana force himself, force herself out of it. Force herself. It is yeah. It is dating. But also, like, dude, you fuck ass. What the hell are you doing? Dragging this fucking angel of a woman into this situation, being like, I love you. We're dudes together. And he's like, I'm still gonna be super addicted to drugs and murdering people. And like you now know about it, so you're also a complice to all of them. But I love you, and we're gonna have a family together.
SPEAKER_00Okay. It sounds like you're shit talking my man, and I don't understand why you're doing that. Look. Because he can do no wrong. He's a victim in this. Okay, tell me, tell me.
SPEAKER_01This guy actually pissed me off so much. Oh so much. No. Yeah. You're bad. You're a bad person. No. I'm not a bad person. Juke Grave's a bad person.
SPEAKER_00Life was thrust upon him. He didn't have a choice, okay? Emma is full bush at the art studio, just keeling and dealing. Full bush at the art studio, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And my man, cannot bring it together.
SPEAKER_00Agree to disagree. But also, that does um kind of what you said brings a point into my mind. Wow, Adeline did some fucking work. When she is describing these like injection scenes, whoa, it it cuts. It is like you very real. Yeah. Wow, it is very real. Yeah. And they are done so well. Like, even just like a huge, you know, since we're on the train of thought, a huge shout out to her writing style. She is a phenomenal writer. Like phenomenal. Honestly, there are huge things. We we are calling it now. This book is gonna be massive. So if you don't want to have some big FOMO in a year from now, read this book and you become the addict now before everybody else knows about it. It's incredible. Okay. Okay. While Judas repairing his life and planning his future, repairing well, he's planning a future. We'll say that. Yeah, well, he's planning a future. He's painting, he's whining and dining, my girl. You know, Nolan has other plans for him. Nolan has gotten into business with some very, very bad men. Specifically Alexi, this Russian king ping, kingpin drug dealer. And now Nolan and the Russian both want Jude to do their nasty biddings. Which, okay, so like Alexi is like a super bad guy, but also really freaking cool because he starts sending Jude out to like take care of people who owe him money, rival drug dealers, shady underworld types, but he gets him to wear this horrific, creepy, slender man-ish white mask with slitted eye holes. Yes. And it totally made me think of salad.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, I'm so glad you said that because literally at one point, the like the scene in the warehouse, I all I could hear in my head while I was reading it was the like, I like the feeling of rusty spoons on my salad fingers.
SPEAKER_00That is okay. I'm so happy that we got the Exact same thing. Because that was what the mask was to me. That was solitary. That is where that is where my mind would go if this guy came up behind me. Oh my god. Like a hundred percent. Oh my god. Oh my god. No, I would be very unhappy. Um, okay, so Jude, he's starting to lose his humanity. He obviously doesn't want to be out here slicing and dicing. This is not this is not the life that he wanted, and he doesn't know how much longer he can hold on. Alexi, being the fucking lingerer that he is, just pops by Jude's house and Emma's the one who opens the door. Uh brother. Not good. Hamburger helped me. Because oh, hamburger help me. Because now he's like, who's this pretty young thing? He knows that Jude has someone that matters to him. He's like, oh, evidence, drugs. Man, let's add something else to the list that we can hold over you. And Jude realizes, like, oh my God, I was wrong. Okay, he has inner reflection, Danielle. Okay. He realizes that it was wrong of him. So what does he do? So what does he do about that inner reflection? You know, tell me a little bit about that, maybe, princess? He uh he breaks it off with her and just is like, we're done. He dumps her again. Yeah, no. Well What does he do after he breaks it off with her? Then he sacrifices himself so that everybody else can go on and be happy. There also might be some like real heavy drugs and an overdose in there, but that's that's besides the point. He sacrifices himself because also like it it man.
SPEAKER_01This book, if you have ever loved someone who is an addict, it will rip your heart out of your dick. Oh yeah, oh yeah, stomp on it, put it in the blender, and make you drink it.
SPEAKER_00Yes, that's what this thing does to you, it just eviscerates your feelings. No, one million bajillion percent. Yeah, that is exactly what happens. Um, and we totally understand because so there's also because we have like the dual POVs, we get Emma's side of it when she thinks that he's dying. Yeah, and we can also hear Micah, the best friend, who all also addict, thinks that his best friend is dying. So who would fucking know better than him? And he's seen him doing this, and it's like them issuing Narcan and like getting him to breathe again. It just, ooh, yeah. The last like 20% of this book was just a really enjoyable, fun time. Yeah, like I had a bad time.
SPEAKER_01I didn't cry at all.
SPEAKER_00At all. Yeah, no, no, I didn't cry at all. My stomach didn't hurt, it was totally fine. I was just laughing and ha ha ha. And then he gets to go to Russia because of course that's what's gonna happen with him. Oh god. Uh and then of course it just ends right there. Thank God I read this book when book two was already. Could you imagine? Could you imagine? No, no, I would be sending some mean letters in the mail. I yeah. Like, ooh, it was, yeah. But honestly, okay, overall thoughts.
SPEAKER_01Incredible.
SPEAKER_00Where does this where does this rank on your rock star romance list?
SPEAKER_01Top five for sure. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Um, top three, I would even say. Yeah, I would say top three. Maybe depending on how the rest of the series goes and how much more she wants to hurt my feelings. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um I think the more she hurts my feelings, the higher it might go. Yes, exactly. I haven't been to an art studio, so I have a lot of unhealed trauma. So I could help you with that. Yeah. Oh, we can't perfect.
SPEAKER_01You've opened me paint. I'm gonna open a studio just for you. Oh, and I'm gonna invite you to come over and paint, but you also have to talk about your feelings because that's part of the deal. You can't just paint, you have to talk about feelings. Oh.
SPEAKER_00Um You're probably gonna close down day one. I am really bad at painting. Actually, just art in general is not my strongest. It's uh it's something. It's art. Makes me feel things. Yeah, it's art.
SPEAKER_01It's like five-second crafts.
SPEAKER_00Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. If anyone could leave us a review or a rating, we would be eternally grateful. We have lots of stuff going on with this book and this entire series on all of our socials. So hit us up. We're on Instagram the most often, but we're everywhere else. Smut Syndicate. Thanks again.
SPEAKER_01Live, laugh, mortal trash.