Case #002

Episode 2. Confidence. Where it all starts. 

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Follow Rachael @Xquisitemedspa

Follow Amy @AnafternoonwithAmy

Heidi Klum latex dress:

 https://www.marca.com/en/lifestyle/celebrities/2026/02/02/6981259022601d70298b4598.html

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

It's it's important to Yeah, that's the one thing I was thinking. Makeup application is only half the battle. Like if you don't like look at me today. I have I feel like my makeup is impeccably applied. Oh it's absolutely the wrong colors.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

It's just not it's not cool. It's too warm. It's not giving me that I look tired.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

I look Oh hey guys, welcome back to the Beauty Files. So um we were discussing uh well obviously you heard, but we were talking about how makeup it it it's only it's half the battle of applying it well. You have to also have colors that go with your uh skin tone and they need to be complementary. Absolutely. In fact, I'd even touch on this in the last episode, but um color analysis has kind of like taken the world by storm as of late. And um it was popular, really popular, what, in the late 80s, early 90s? Like we were small children. Yeah, so it was not quite relevant to us, but now it is, um, at least to some of us. And uh that is something that I do over at an afternoon with Amy, so follow me on Instagram. Um, but the Beauty Files, we are at the Beauty Files Pod on Instagram, and then Rachel, what is your handle? Uh Exquisite Men Spa. And that is exquisite with no E in the beginning. So it's X Q U I S I T. Very modern. Yeah, really like that. Um, and then your personal one you're working on renaming, so it's just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

It's just not quite there yet, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

So these things take time, you know? You have to it has to be up like appealing to the eye. It can't be too long, it can't be it's annoying. It is it's like phone numbers. Like we don't have to memorize anything anymore.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

And speaking of phone numbers, my daughter, that's you know, the one thing that she really wants to do is she wants to memorize my phone number.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Do you know how my daughter memorized my phone number?

SPEAKER_02 2:26

How?

SPEAKER_01 2:26

How many times we went through the Panera Bread drive-thru and they asked for my rewards card? Like, not even it's a true story. Um, she would even say it in the the cadence that I would say it.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

And that's hysterical. So mine wants it because she wants to have a play date and she needs to know what it is so that she can write it down for all of her kindergarten.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

I'm really sorry because that that does happen. I have so many little strips of paper of it's it's really kind of creepy because it's little strips of paper with little girls' names on it and then numbers. Sometimes it'll say that person's mom, other times it does not, and then I have them. She puts them like in my in my car in like the cup holder, and I'll look in and there's all these little anyway. Anyone else? Can anyone else relate to that? Um anyway, hi everyone. We are back. This is episode two. Um gosh. This is very exciting. Again, we're here. We got the headphones on, we got our microphones. We're just this we look legit.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Do you feel legit?

SPEAKER_01 3:35

I mean, no, but I look it. What do they say? Fake it till you make it. Absolutely. Look the part until you become the part, the player. Right? Yeah. We are talking into microphones and we will be uploading this.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Right. So I mean it's not faking it until you make it. We are making it.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Happening, yes. Whether so I guess this would be like a imposter syndrome. Yes. And I'm facing that like, well, obviously, yes, right now, but even in the at an afternoon with Amy, because things are starting to, you know, I just did an event at your med spa. Yes. And I'm starting to get um some events planning, and it's it's scary. But it's it's still it's still scary. And again, like we said, you have to do what makes you uncomfortable, do what scares you. Because um, just because you have anxiety about it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Right. It's like it's like trying on, I don't know, uh, wearing a dress to an event you wouldn't normally wear a dress to, and you're all you're thinking about is, oh my gosh, I'm the only one wearing a dress. Oh my gosh, I feel so uncomfortable. But then you get your first compliment and you're like, oh, that's why I wore this, because I do feel good in it. Even if you didn't believe it, maybe like when you were walking out the door because you thought, I'm gonna be the only one dressed up. Well, good. Because it's better to be overdressed than underdressed. Absolutely. I know this from experience day to day, but that's kind of what we want to talk about today. Um that big C word confidence. Is that what you thought I was gonna say? It better be. I'm pointing at you out there. Yes, confidence. Um what the heck is it? How do we get it? How do we keep it? And can you keep it? And how do you give it?

SPEAKER_02 5:43

These are all super important questions that um I don't know that we'll ever have the right or appropriate answer for. It's um well, it's ebb and flow.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

It is ebb and flow. It is we were talking about this off air. Even the most competent person can wake up and be like, oh my god, not today.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, and you can have somebody who has zero confidence and they wake up and they're like, dude, today is my day, I'm gonna conquer the world.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

And, you know, where that comes from, how you get it, um, I think that's a very individualized um thing.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

And I also I do think like I don't want to say hormones take up have a position in this, but they kind of do. Because if you're like feeling emotional and like my daughter calls them the weebies, she's like, I have the weebies today. And I and you just know, like, yep, today's the day you just want to put put like sweatpants on and just call it a day. But we have to like be out in the world, we have to still function. Um, so like today, okay. I woke up today, I looked in the mirror, I had a zit on the tip of my nose. Oh, my worst. What? Excuse me. Like I first of all, I haven't had that kind of zit placement in in a long time. Okay, so that's number one. Um number two, then a day gets worse. Okay, this is just like waking up. I get blueberries out of the refrigerator, and I guess I'm gonna blame myself, even though I know I'm not to blame. Someone will call it me. It's it wasn't, I want to be real clear, did not put the lid on the whole way. Oh so I pull it out, and then what do you think happens? The whole stupid thing. Anyway, blueberries everywhere. I'm cleaning up these stupid blueberries. Like, whatever. It's fine. It's fine. They're just blueberries. I think I got them all, doing my thing, and then I step on one. It's like and it had socks on. It's just, you know, it's just not a good day. Okay. Then I'm not, I can't make this up. As I'm getting a paper towel to like clean that off my sock, I hear the lovely sound of a cat like vomiting. It's like, okay. So does that take into play of my confidence? No. Like, not literally, but it does set the tone for the day. It sets a mood. It sets a mood which can influence 100%. Your now the zit did that was a full-on, full-on thing. Um that was a low blow. And the first blow. Anyway, so that was my morning. That is that is a real true story. Um, it's fine. The now, okay, you're not gonna agree with this, but I'm gonna tell everyone my little zit hack, okay? Oh god, okay. It's bad, it's really bad, and it works, but it works for me. I can say that, right? It works for me for me. Absolutely. Okay, so I have this this bottle, and it's got like a little, what do you call it, little roller applicator at the top? It's tea tree oil, and it's cut, it is cut with olive oil. So there is an oil with it, but I just put that right on top of the set.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

So tea tree oil can help.

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Oh, I know it can.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

But olive oil does not. Olive oil is okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

It's more like it's bet well, yeah, that can clog. But it's clogged. It's better than putting straight up tea tree oil.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

So you could do tea tree oil and grapeseed oil. Grapeseed oil is not going to clog. What's that comedy oil?

SPEAKER_01 9:43

It's also sealing comic comogenic. What's that word? Comeogetic. What's that word? Come not comedic. I always want to say that. What's the word? They always say it on other stupid communogenic. Oh, come on.

unknown 10:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Everyone listening knew what I was talking about, and they also didn't know the word. I'm sorry, say that one more time. Say that nice and slow. Communogenic. All right, comedics. Okay, great. Got it. So what she said, Rachel knows what's up. So that's why she's our our doctor and prince.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

We're not gonna do coconut oil, we're not gonna do olive oil, we're gonna do grapeseed oil because it's a non-communogenic. Oh god. Okay. It's anti-inflammatory. Oh, okay. What are your thoughts on coconut oil? Coconut oil is there is a place for it. Um it is not meant for all skin types. Um, it can be used as a healing agent. It is very similar to a grapeseed oil as far as uh anti-inflammatory.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Um it's I have like a certain feeling when I put coconut oil on my face. Like I actually feel inflamed when it's it's very thick.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Okay. So again, they're not meant to, you know, you're looking for a a non-communogenic. So something that's not going to completely be occlusive. Okay. So it you can compare it to a um uh petroleum. Oh, okay. So you're thinking about something that's gonna be very clogging. Like aquaphore. Yes, and the aquaphore. So again, petroleum delay, aquapore, something something along those lines. Now, if you are super, super dehydrated, if you are struggling with keeping a moisture in and you have a great moisturizer, um, something that's uh gonna help, and then you put it and you overlap it. Oh well that makes sense because it traps it in. It traps it in and it kind of helps. So if you think about people that um so paraffin. Yes. Okay, so compare it to like a paraffin where you want to lock in that moisture. So you're putting on those oils, those moistures, whatever you want, and then you're dipping it into that paraffin, and then you're covering the paraffin with a mitt and you're leaving it on for however long. Um didn't didn't this is my my brain.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Didn't you compare? Was it Heidi Clum? We were talking about this off-air like a couple weeks ago. Was it Heidi Clum in her dress? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

So it was, you know, you looked at Heidi Klume and it looks like somebody just dipped her in paraffin oil or dipped her in like um plastic solution. That has not lost me.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Was that uh oh, GMA's or GitHub the Grammys or the Golden Gloves? I need to look it up. It may hope maybe you will make a flag of of me putting that in the show notes. But you as soon as you said that, my image went right to her in that direct.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

So if you're somebody, you know, again, like you suffer from specific areas.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Yes, bring it, bring it back. Go ahead. Yes, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Super irritated or you're trying to heal from something, um having a thicker um barrier over top of something that is great for your skin and is going to heal um and just kind of lock that in is is a great thing to do. On a regular basis, not so much.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

Right, because eventually that will cause a freakout. Correct.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

For many, it will. For many.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Well, today we went with the tea tree mixed tea tree mixed with the the olive oil. It has gone away. It has gone away.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

So a better option would be icing. A lot of people don't know this. And when you say icing, you mean literal ice. I mean literal ice.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

We don't mean icing like um.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Like on your cheek. Yeah, no, we're not gonna do that. Really ice? So icing for five minutes two to three times a day, especially if um it's really bad, will actually help with inflammation.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Oh, okay. You're going from that route.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

And then if you're putting on um more of like a mandelic kind of um solution um over top of it, that's definitely gonna help. Some of the, you know, some people swear by the pimple patches if that's really what you want to do, but that's not to be worn during the day, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Yeah, that's that's just nighttime, right? That's a is that salicylic acid, or what's every like all of them have a little bit different formulations.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

But the girls are wearing them during the day. And I and for all the little teeny poppers out there, we love you, but please listen. They're not meant to be seen in the light of day. That's a shame. Sleep on them.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Because they're so cute, and and I I guess they were designed to so you don't see the pimple while you're at school. Oh, you still see it. It's just like it's just an enormous Yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

And then when they put I've seen them, I've seen people put makeup over top of them, and I'm like, Oh.

unknown 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Oh, no, I don't like that. You know, I've seen all kinds of things. But to each their own.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

And um and women we gotta bring this back now. Okay, so confidence. That's for like the poor little stickers were made to feel more confident during a breakout. And look at that, like they made them try to like market that, and here, it's making it.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Never on any of those, never on any of those that I have ever read says that you need to wear it during the day to go out in public. That's sad.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

You know, well, I mean you're not gonna get through adolescence without some embarrassment. It's it character builds, it is important. Let your kid walk out with a zit on their face. I'm sorry. It needs to happen, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:53

It it does. I absolutely understand, and I think like I am somebody who deals with low self-esteem, low confidence. Um, and that has a lot to do again. We talked previously in our introduction, you know, about our childhood. And I had mentioned how, you know, I had bad skin. So there's definitely um I get it. I get I remember faking, you know, being sick, so because I couldn't get my makeup on, I couldn't cover it up, my skin was so bad. Um, so that I didn't have to go to school because it was so embarrassing. Um, and it's such a big part of our confidence, um, you know, our appearance. Um and I used to go through all the makeup brands and really got into it deep diving. Um, you know, makeup was a huge part. I would never leave my house without makeup.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Never. Um it would be I mean, you would have to literally probably like drug me in order for me to leave my house without makeup. Like I wish that that was um a a non-truth, but uh it's very much a true statement that I just wouldn't go anywhere without it because I felt so insecure about my appearance and the way that I looked. Um, I always dreamt of that day that I could walk out of my house and not have makeup on and feel good about it.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

And that didn't happen until my 30s. And it was, you know, finally getting taking proper care of my skin and actually healing my skin so that I didn't need to put those layers of makeup on.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

So you just walked me into my question, and that was knowing what you know now. Yes. Always, because hindsight. What is actually the route to that problem? So, like immediately you would you would think it's the band-aid approach, right? Like the makeup. Right. Can't leave the house without makeup. Now, knowing what you know, what would you do differently and sooner to help get you?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

So we, you know, again, I have, you know, teenagers that come in to the office to see us, um, even adult women, um, you know, with hormonal acne, things that they've never dealt with as a child. Um, and the biggest thing is, first of all, proper skincare products, using what's going to help heal your skin, um, and then also your gut health. And so many people do not realize like the majority of our skin conditions, skin concerns, and things that come out are related to what we are putting in our body, especially what we eat on a regular basis. If I could go back, you know, and know what I know now as a teenager, um, there are so many things that I would have changed. Um, and I would have put and encouraged my mom to put more money into my actual skincare products, not the makeup that I needed to cover it up. And so, again, like you want to heal the skin, and you know, when your skin looks better, your confidence levels will grow.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

And it is tough when we live in an instant gratification world, right? Absolutely. We love a quick thing, right? Nobody wants to hear it's diet and exercise or it's doing the hard work, really. Right. I mean, I'm one of the people who now in my when I turned 30, all of a sudden I developed um dermatitis on my face. I'm the opposite of you. Growing up, I think I got one pimple at a time. Always one, and it was always right here, right, right below my lower lip. Um that's it. Now, my issues were they were always weight related. So I would look in the mirror and just dream of the day that I was thin. Like, so we all have that thing, whatever it is. Um, so that that propelled me to get into fitness, which is why wellness and and fitness are a part of this podcast, because it's it's all real life-lived experiences that have propelled us to kind of become experts in the field because of our trials and tribulations, whatever they are. Yeah. So yeah, I mean taking on confidence episode two is is a big bite. I understand that. But it's it's not, I guess the point that we're we're both trying to address is it's not a it's not a quick fix. No, absolutely. And it's not usually one for everyone.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

So that's the other thing. People always be like, oh, well, this person's doing this. So I'm gonna do that, it's gonna work for me. And how annoying is that to hear as a as a professional. Right. It's like, okay, for instance, no offense to anybody that still currently uses this, but proactive. Okay. Um it's it's not a one size fits all. I did that, y'all, when I was a teenager. I tried that, it did nothing for me. If anything, it made it worse. Um because it was too irritating, too stripping, too drying, not enough moisture put back into my skin. While benzyl peroxide is an important ingredient and very beneficial to many people when it comes to acne, it is not the end-all be-all. And um it there is a place for it. Um, there is a person for it. It is not for all people in all places.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

I always thought it was strange. I obviously I I saw the commercials and all that. And you would think that would be a red flag, right? It's an infomercial. But I remember like being, we'll say Walmart for lack of the store. But I remember seeing like a vending machine with it in there. And I thought, what? How could that be? And That's where you need to like have some discernment.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

So one of the main ingredients, and I say benzyl peroxide, it's not the only ingredient, and this is one of their main ingredients, and I haven't looked at it in years, but I know that when um I was a teenager, like that was the biggest thing. Um so again, when I say these kinds of things, um uh I think the other thing that's a little irritating to me is um TikTok. So don't get me wrong, I get it. Like there are very there are so many people that get their news and their beauty and their everything, their whatever food, whatever it may be from TikTok. While TikTok is a great resource, that is what it is. It's a resource, so it's going to give you different options um on different products that do work. Just because it works for, you know, 10 people doesn't mean that it's gonna work for you. And sometimes it is trial and error to find the proper products um that are going to get you to your goal. And again, acne dealing with that, it is not curable, it is treatable. And that's the one thing I want to remind everybody out there is if you are somebody who deals with acne, um there are many things that we can do to treat it and help get it under control. Um, but unfortunately, if you are somebody who that is part of your DNA, you will always go through time periods where it might seem a little more aggravated than others. Um, but again, finding the right skincare products to treat it and treatments in office is going to help you in the long haul. And, you know, makeup is just an added beauty tip at that point. Okay. So you want to look at makeup as it's going to enhance what you already naturally have. You're not trying to make it be you. It cannot hide.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

It's it's not gonna hide what's there. Yeah, it cannot hide texture for a second. It can't. No, there is no makeup in the world that can hide texture. So I don't I don't care what TikTok shop shows you, it does not. No. Um, so I would say, and and this is a terrible pun, and I'm sorry, but it does depend on it's your foundation. And what I mean by that is not makeup. I mean like your skin is your foundation, and then you're building from there. So we talked acne, okay. Now our there are, I mean, look at me with dermatitis, the whole thing, but there's the other section, and that would be like pores, wrinkles, crepiness. Um, these are all issues for a huge like lot of ages, obviously. Like you're some people are noticing wrinkles in their 20s. Some are. Um some people who we don't like are super blessed and look great at age 50. They don't have anything.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

They do exist. They do. Um, maybe not around here, but they do exist. Um, so you know, this is where you have that um, I don't want to say it's it's not uh what's the word I'm looking for? It's not polarizing. Are treatments like a neurotoxin, like Botox and Dysport. You have people who are gonna die on that hill of I'm never putting that in my body. I'm gonna age naturally, gracefully. Um okay. All right, you know what I could I could put a period at the end of that sentence and say, okay, um, I will also share. Uh you still can do that and use a little bit of a neurotoxin or filler. Um they they can they can coexist, they can be together. They can and um it it should.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

I mean we don't need to be dogmatic about things that are so personal. Right. Um, whether I choose to do it and Nancy across the street doesn't, that's okay. That's perfectly fine. But Nancy can't be coming at me like, I don't know why she does that. She look she looks great.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

You know, she looks great.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Um, so you know, and that's the other bit of confidence, okay? And maybe that's where we really need to start, is confidence starts within.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

And I don't mean feeling good about yourself, that will come. I mean you need to be a decent person in this society. Just because Nancy, let's say Nancy looks great. Let's say Nancy is is just killing it. She is she's doing her thing, she looks amazing. And I am so jealous and so envious, and I just can't stand her. And then all of a sudden, look how ugly I am. Yeah. If I go, wow, Nancy really looks great. Gosh, I wonder what she's doing. I wonder if I could do that. That's very different. It is. And that is a different signal to your own body. Um, I know there's like a study about plants. If you talk nice to them and like pet them, they like release um, I don't think it's serotonin. They release they release something, like an actual like endorphin of some sort. Oh. Uh, and the plant does better. And then if you like yell at it and like slap it and tell it negative things, it will I'm dead. Um this is a real thing. They also did it with um water crystals, like ice. Yeah. Um, they took water and talked really like mean to it and nasty, and when it froze, the fractals it made were like looked like something out of a horror movie. And then the people that talked really nice to the water and like said it nice things, played it nice music, made like these beautiful like snowflake crystals within it. I should cite that. I've heard it now on because I'm a podcast junkie. I've heard that particular study now on like four different podcasts. So I know I know what I'm talking about. I heard it online. Um, so obviously your thoughts, you become your thoughts. You do. So that the power of the mind is is evident. Um, so it starts there. Now, it's funny what we said in the beginning, you know, fake it till you make it. Of like, it might feel uncomfortable. If you look in the mirror and really don't like what you see, I get that. But maybe let's not look at the whole picture. Let's think about things you really like about yourself. It doesn't have to be anything physical, but it can just be, you know, I really like that people tell me that I put them in a good mood. Or some people say, hey, you're really easy to talk to. Or it just starts small. Even like you like your lower lip when you say the word purple. Like just find something and let that grow from there. And you will find eventually you will like the big picture.

SPEAKER_02 29:05

Yeah. I think we uh we also, before we got on air, kind of talked about this. Um, you know, the whole complimenting um and being able to compliment somebody. Um I feel as though when I was younger, that wasn't something that was a huge part of my life or something that I saw around me on a regular basis, where people walking up to and just randomly complimenting anybody. That's true. Ever. Um, and I don't know if that was more generational. Um women just aren't good at being confident in themselves, so it's hard to then project to that to somebody else or give them um Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

I can think of lots of people, even just in this this age, yeah, who will question your authority of this in the space just because they don't like how you look. Right. Um that happened to me. Um so uh where did you get certified? Everyone hear that tone? There's a tone, okay? And we all see it, and you just smile and you just you have to kill them with kindness. That's what my mother always told me.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

Kill them with kindness. And that can be really hard sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Super hard.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

Especially if you wake up and you're you have bad you're in a bad mood, or you know, that tone was set for the day, and you're like stepping on blueberries and cleaning cat through up.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

Yes. On a day like that, and someone says something that really just strikes a nerve, yes, you have to just put your customer service face on and say, I'm so happy that you're here.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Yes. Or oh my goodness. I just absolutely, you know, love your top or your pants. And there are many a times where I do try really hard. Um, I know that I could do better at it. I think again, it's I didn't grow up hearing it. So trying to train yourself to see it modeled is is is I agree. You know, um trying to encourage um that's the other thing I try to do is encourage, especially my daughter, um, you know, and my son, just letting them know, oh, you know, you look really nice today. Your hair looks cute. She has glasses now. Um, so she doesn't always like her glasses. And so, you know, just letting her know that it's okay that you have glasses and you are still pretty with with or without them, um, and just trying to get that mindset.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

I love that because this is you're talking to a person who had glasses not quite at your daughter's age, but pretty close. I think it was in second grade, and I would break them on purpose so that I would get a pair that I liked. Now, we should maybe be a parenting podcast too, because my my mom did the right thing. She bought the same pair again. So no, we're not playing games for two reasons. One, because that's all she could afford, which I totally get now. It's so funny. But two, it sent me the message of oh, that didn't work. So I'm stuck with these glasses. Yeah, yeah, it does. And it's okay, mom, if you're listening. It I I it's okay. I got contact lenses and I feel much better about myself. But it's it it it was what it was. I had glasses and that was it. Now they have glasses that have adorable sparkles on them and glitter, and you know, but hearing from you to say, Hey, I really you look really nice today and I really like those.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Or not, you know, you it's I I also took her, you know, and let her pick out the ones that made her feel special. Um, that she really liked to encourage her to wear them because that was the other thing. Well, that's true. If it's their decision that we'll wear them. Yeah, yeah, that's she, you know, I felt like if she gets to pick out what she wants and she's happy about that, and nobody else made that choice for her, let me tell you. This girl tried on like almost 30, I think, different types of glasses for kids. Um, we were there for a while. Um, but she always came back to the same pair. So I knew, and I also still there are times where she's like, I have a bow in, and it just doesn't match. And I want to wear this bow and my hair, and I just don't want my glasses today. So then, you know, I go, All right, well, then this is where it turns into the mom cast here. You know, I have to tell her, Well, you know, if you don't wear your glasses all the time, you're gonna go cross-eyed, and that's really hard to fix.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Okay, not what I thought you were gonna say. That's where I would say, Well, then you're not seeing today.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

And no, because she can still see without them. So I had to make it I had to make what I said intentional. Oh, that's it. And make sure that she understood.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

I know. But we're all messing our children up in one way or another. So it's fine. No person, as so long as you have any not even parent, but just authority figure, right? You're not coming out unscathed. Like you you are messed up. I'm sorry. That's why we have a hundred thousand different therapy apps now, and it's all the rage.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Yes. Well, also that um that comment that I made kind of backfired on me the other day.

unknown 34:41

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

Because she knows that I need glasses for reading, and she goes, Mommy, you know you're gonna go cross-eyed one day.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Okay, that's amazing. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

Yeah. That's I mean so she took it literal, but that's okay because she keeps those glasses on.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Well, she doesn't want to go cross-eyed. So And if you are cross-eyed, I'm we don't that's not this is for entertainment purposes only. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:09

I'm just gonna But again, so making sure my daughter is feeling good in her glasses is my my main goal. That's a really good goal as a parent.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

And I before we move on, I will say this. Um, we are not the podcaster, we're gonna apologize for everything we say. You, as the listener, you have choices. You can either continue listening or not and understand that there are things such as humor, sarcasm. Um, we're not ever saying anything to be hurtful. Uh, you need to read between the lines, you need to like have some uh common sense. All right. That's the only really the only time I'm gonna say it. Uh the other disclaimer I will have is that we are not actually doctors, we're not giving any medical advice, and if you're taking medical advice from us, then you're welcome. But also, please don't. Okay, okay. Just a little bit of housekeeping there in the middle of the show. Maybe I'll move it till the end or the beginning. Um, okay, so back to confidence. We are starting from within. Don't be a piece of crap human. You need to compliment others, kind of just put it out there. Good vibes. Good vibes.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Good vibes as best as you can. Even if you're even if you're having a bad day, maybe giving somebody else a compliment will help improve your day. You just don't know. So try.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

We've all seen her. We've seen the girl who is gorgeous. I mean, everything's put together. You already don't like her because she just looks so put together. But the moment she opens her mouth and she's not a nice person, that's all you see.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

It is. It's very, very true. And again, you might think just by looking at her like you don't like her because she's so beautiful. And then she might open her mouth and be the nicest person on the face of the planet. And then you feel eat your words. Exactly. And you're like, oh, I totally misjudged her. Yes. And I think everybody has done that at some point in time in their life. Absolutely. Because we're human. Exactly. And we are also made to be jealous, I feel like. We are, it's kind of been ingrained in us. Especially women. Especially women. Pretty, you know, jealous of each other and threatened by each other. And um, you know, learning to grow out of that and not be that that type of person can be very hard when it's ingrained in you. It is possible though. It is very possible. And um, you know, learning to just not not be jealous, but be proud of them, and then have that be an inspiration to you.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

That's where that these um gross women supporting women. Yeah, okay. Love and hate this at the same time. We were talking about this off air as well, because we were going through our notes of like, what should we talk about? What thing are we gonna say that's gonna open a can of worms? And this one was one of them, but I'm gonna keep it as contained as possible. There might be some worms that are like oozing out, but we're gonna we're gonna keep them in. I'm just gonna pick them up. It's a love hate because I feel like it looks really pretty and sounds really pretty, and it's only a select handful times that I've actually seen it played out. Um the women supporting women, it's usually just a woman that says that, but they're really only trying to figure out how to support themselves, and that's not the move. Um women supporting women. Um the last time I'll say it because I don't like that's too many times. Um it can be done, and it usually starts with confident women who know that there's room for all. Right. That's you have to remove the competition, you have to be happy and know when to clap for others and when to support others when they're down. That's what that looks like. Um just entering this space of and I'm again I'm only not quite even a year. It is astounding to me the lack of women supporting women, but they say that they do. What do we call it? Like the mean girl culture. It's the mean girl culture. Yeah, it's wild. Um, it's sad, but I know that it's it's only certain circles. Um, so don't feel don't feel like, oh, there's that that company they say they support women. Do they? No, believe it first. Let them prove you wrong, if you know, if that's the case. But um think about it outside of business. Let's just in the real everyday world. I mean, I just the older I get and the better I feel about myself, obviously, the easier it is for me to want women to feel as good as I do. That's kind of like my mission. Because I it took me a bit to get there. Yes, I'm 38 and I are almost, not quite, but and I understand that there are women who are 58 that would are like, oh, well, you feel like that because you're 38. Well, hold on, because there are 28-year-olds who still don't like themselves, and I I can help them just as much as I can help someone who's 58 or 48. It it doesn't matter what age you are when you get there, it's that you get there. Be happy for that person who got there. Yeah. Um anyway, I just want to say that it's possible. And I don't know where I'm going with that. Please feel free. It's China.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

So you know it's it's very true. I've been in this industry for a long time. Um, the mean girl mentality. Um, you know, unfortunately, I would love to say that over the years, because of um women being able to do more or have access to more things or whatever however you want to look at it, um, that that means that it has improved. Um, you know, women supporting women has improved and uh that the mean girl mentality has decreased. But unfortunately I will say that um it continues to rise. Um and uh the worst part about the mean girl mentality is the what's the word I'm looking for, um, underhanded mean girl personality or doing it with a smile on your face and pretending like that's not what you're doing. I'm stabbing you in the face and I'm smiling at you. Smiling. You know, um it is an unfortunate reality. And you have to have a really strong backbone. Yeah, which to be developed again. Get through it, or you in some situations um become a doormat to it all. Um and there is a fine line. And I am not gonna lie, I am still figuring that one out. Um I strive to do the best that I can for everybody that is around me. Um there are many a times where um I personally choose for my own mental health to stay off of social media because it is hard for me. Um, and when it comes to building that confidence and um improving oneself, sometimes I feel like it hurts me as opposed to helps me grow. So I will choose other avenues. And if anybody else out there feels like that, I would suggest that, you know, if you know there are certain things that trigger you, do your best to avoid them because it's not worth it. And that is the one thing that I have been realizing over the last two months is that you have to figure out what's worth it and what's not. And if it's not going to build you up and get you to that next level, then it's not worth your time, your space, your energy.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

But even that is confident like that right there, like knowing, knowing a few things, knowing your limits, knowing what you can handle, knowing yourself. Yes. I think that's the ultimate level of confidence of knowing when to be like, I'm turning this off, and I don't really care what goes on outs when I'm not there. That's like like mic drop. Like that's that's the power of move. Thank you. I think that's incredible, actually. I'm just gonna leave that one because let's move on. Yeah. Because that was good. Um I do want to talk about and this is this is entertaining. Um you mentioned earlier about like when you had your skin issues, you wore makeup to hide, right? Yes. So I I just want to touch for just a moment on how there are other ways that people can hide without makeup. There's a couple things. There's really one big glaring one, and that would be eyelash extensions. Okay. Let's just let's just all let's just all take a moment of silence. This is a hard one for her. Lash extensions. Well, you know what, it's not hard anymore. It was. It was. It was. I um and I feel like I can speak on this because I have had the largest like full circle just moment. Um I don't even know where to begin. All right, let's start. So when I was 19, maybe 18, I discovered mascara. Now I have very dark eyelashes, and I had very luscious eyelashes when I was a child. And so I never needed mascara, never wore it, didn't understand it because I didn't wear makeup because makeup scared me. Or eyeliner, but that's a whole nother story. Um I was working at the gap. Okay, I fell into it. All right, that was their motto in whatever year that was. And there was a girl who worked there, and I just really liked her eye makeup. So what's the the wonderful thing to do? You try and mimic exactly. Compli uh what what's the um what's the saying? Blank is the ultimate compliment. Uh that's another word for mimic. Oh my goodness. I'm thinking. I'm doing my thinking dance that you guys will see someday. It doesn't matter. Okay. It'll come to me. But I decided I went to I don't even, maybe Walmart. Again, it's not sponsored by Walmart. I got um an eyeshadow. I think it was like a cream eyeshadow. It was this lilac color. It was it was a move. Um, and I bought an eyelash curler and some mascara. And I want to say I got what it was pink with the green lid. Is that like oh, that's Maybelline? Maybelline, yes. Maybe it's Maybelline. So right out the gate, I did what you're not supposed to do. I put the mascara on first and then curled it. And let me tell you, this is where it's just funny. I was embarrassed because my lashes were so long, they actually curled up and touched like my eyebrow bone. I would kill to have those lashes naturally now. But that was like how funny. I I did the thing too embarrassed, and of course, this girl immediately, she was not a very nice person, called me out in front of everybody and was like, Oh, I see your your you got some mascara now. Like it was something real, and I was like, and I ran away. Mean girl. Totally. I mean, she was not a very nice girl. Um, shout out to I don't even know her name, doesn't matter. Um, anyway, so then that like that already started off bad. But then I wanted to master it, so then it was just like more and more and more. And this is where I was not embracing my natural dark hair because I wanted to have my money worth something every time I went to the salon, so I would get something different every time. So I had warm hair, and obviously something always felt off because it didn't align with my skin tone. Um, so I would just wear more and more and more mascara to the point where I look like I had like the spiders, hairy spider legs. Yes. So then I discover uh lash extensions, which going from insane amount of mascara to then just classic, it was an adjustment, and it was very short-lived because then I discovered volume, and then I discovered someone was trying to tell me about Russian volume, and I'm just like, give it to me, give it to me. So then I went from like you only saw lashes. I mean, it was it was pretty wild. It was pretty wild, and then I was going weekly for my lash refills, which you don't need to do that, everybody, especially um just anyone, unless your hair is falling out at a very rapid rate. I mean, two weeks is even I'd say two weeks is okay. Two to four weeks is the average. Like three is like sweet spot.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

The people that I would say do it weekly, they're normally just doing like light fills, anyways. Oh no. So there are some people um that do do that, but they're very few and far between.

SPEAKER_01 49:11

We were we were full on every time. Yeah. So then I realized I'm spending a lot of money. So I thought, ugh, I shouldn't be doing this. And I don't even know what happened, but long story short, I walked into your because you were not doing my lashes at this point. This is this is a real important part of the story. I came to you for I think it was a brow touch-up. Um, I don't think it was lashes yet.

SPEAKER_02 49:38

No, no, it was hydrofacial, I think.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Oh, okay. So either way, a completely unrelated service. And this wonderful woman across from me. Ever just ever so like I it's not like she told me when it was unsolicited. I think I was talking about lashes. I think I was explaining my my lash crisis that I thought I had. And Rachel said to me, um, let's try something down, let's try toning it down. And I just want to say that is a good lash tech for someone to um help you see what you don't see. And in in truth, I really was hiding behind the lashes. I thought I was nothing without those lashes. I thought they defined me. I'm just being real. Um, there was another era in my life when I was more overweight and I wore scarves. Do you remember scarves?

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

I they were a part of me. Like I you would not see me without a scarf. And that was because I needed it. That was my crutch. I was hiding. Um, a lot of people will hide with their hair, their long hair. Um, it is liberating when you finally decide to let go of the thing. Um, but it really wasn't until I think I took my lashes off like completely to and they were also like in a state, like we needed to give them a minute.

SPEAKER_03 51:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:12

But I received so many compliments on my eye shape, my eye color. People had never seen my eyes before. I was like the snuff olophagus with the the big eyelashes.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

You did it for eyeliner and eyelash enhancement.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

That's why. Yes. Oh, and that is a great idea. You did a lift and a tint. You're absolutely right. Yes. So I did, yes, the eyeliner, um, permanent makeup, which was really great, by the way. Uh that's exactly why I took them off. And then I s my lashes starting to come in because we were only lifting and tinting, and then they became more healthy. Yeah. And now I can't even believe that I did that. Like I can't believe I look it back at photos and I'm like, oh wow. That is really something. Anyway, uh, long story short, I just want to say you might right now might be hiding probably behind your lashes. Not you, I'm looking at you, but I mean the person that's in the microphone. Because that's where you guys live, by the way. I don't know if you know that. Yeah. When I'm talking, it's I'm talking to my microphone because that's where you live. Just like I live in your headphones. Yes. Or your car speakers. Um, but I challenge you, whatever it is, even if it's like a lipstick color. Hair color.

SPEAKER_02 52:34

Hair color. Do you know what mine was? Oh, what? Bleach blonde. I thought I needed to be that Barbie doll. Like the yellowy, no. Like cool. Oh, okay. Cool. It was always cool with me. Always cool. Well, that's good. Um, but bleach blonde through and through. No, no dimension, just oh, just solid. Okay. Solid guys.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

I was gonna say, because you're still cool, but it looks in that dimension.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

No, okay, no. No, no, honey. No. I'm talking Pamela Anderson. Oh wow. Back in the day, like bleach blonde. And I thought that that was where I needed to live, and that was my thing.

unknown 53:17

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 53:17

No, I always had eyelashes, but I never did.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

No, you've never gone through. Yeah. I never was. You've been the most consistent person ever with your lashes. I have never seen you with too too much. Yeah. Which is really that is you should have a trophy.

SPEAKER_02 53:34

You know. Lashes is something that I do, and I do a lot of I love them, but there are definitely different styles and different things that are more appropriate for each person. And I think one of the hardest jobs to do sometimes is being honest with somebody. And not a lot of people want you to be honest with them. They would rather you, you know, just tell them it looks great and it's wonderful. Um, and sometimes it's just not. And um, my goal, and I always want to make everybody look the best that they possibly can.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

Um and oh, a great example was uh my mother-in-law. Hi, mother-in-law. Um, she had really, really thick black lashes, and I did her color analysis, and she ended up being like just like you, a soft summer. Um, and that was like the first thing that had to go, and she was open to it. And we did you did baby steps because it took a couple uh sessions, but you switched her lashes to was did it end up being a hybrid of black and brown? Yes, and then you obviously did a different um length perhaps, and a different application style because what she had was someone else's work, but um what a difference, and she still had lashes, and she still felt um feminine and they they were what they were, but you could see her eye and they were soft, and I just I think she just yeah we don't want to see lashes first, we want to see eyes. Is that is that accurate?

SPEAKER_02 55:17

That is very accurate, like again, you know, like you say with you don't want somebody's outfit walking into the room before they do.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

Um it's just like uh a red lipstick. Okay. I if you see me walk into a room with red lipstick on, first of all, you better take my temperature. Because clearly I'm very ill. Second of all, smack me silly and take me into the bathroom and get that off of me because it's just not it's that ain't it. Yes, yes. Um, to say it simply, um so again, if as the you know, the stylist, um, the artist, if we look at you and we're trying to tell you like maybe try to change it. Like let's at least try to tone it down a little bit, or maybe you do need a little bit more. Um it's not it's not because we're trying to be mean or rude or anything. We just want to see you glow. We want to see it.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

Yes. Get over the the fear of being uncomfortable. Right. Because I mean, gosh, that's I feel like this is gonna be a theme because this is like woven all throughout. Yeah, you need to do something that's uncomfortable for growth, getting rid of that bleach blonde hair. Yeah, and usually by doing something like that, it builds confidence.

unknown 56:40

I know.

SPEAKER_01 56:41

I think we just figured it out.

SPEAKER_03 56:43

We're trying. We're trying to do it.

SPEAKER_01 56:45

Obviously, easier said than done, but when you are looking at it from, you know, especially someone else's um you can look at someone else's life. It's way easier to tell them how to live their life, right? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 56:56

That's when you're in it that easier to give advice than it is to receive. Yes, totally.

SPEAKER_01 57:01

Yes, and that's why we're on the mic.

SPEAKER_02 57:03

That's why we're on the mic and you can't see us, guys.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

Not yet. Not yet. Maybe soon. Yeah, May. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 57:12

Okay. Did we say this last episode? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:14

Wow, okay.

SPEAKER_02 57:14

So we said May. I said we have to give ourselves a timeline and a deadline. No. Early May? How about mid-May? Early to mid-May.

unknown 57:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 57:27

Because here's the thing. If we don't Yeah, then we won't. We won't.

SPEAKER_01 57:31

I know.

unknown 57:31

I know.

SPEAKER_02 57:32

And it's so easy to hide behind the mic. You can't hide as much behind video. That's so true. It's so true.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

I um Yeah, we're gonna have to. Okay. Okay. Alright, alright. I'm busy. Plus mentally going through.

SPEAKER_02 57:47

We're not just voices, we're not just AI. We want you guys to know that we are real people. It's true. You know, that's that is very important to be relevant to our pictures. We do look.

SPEAKER_01 57:58

Rachel looks more like our AI um podcast cover than I do, but mine's just goals. I don't understand it. AI cannot get my my face right on every single like it's funny when you put in a picture and you're like, use this picture. Yeah, and it's like, I'm not listening to anything you just said. Here's a huge chin, boom. Okay. I'm a Disney character. My eyes are like anyway, yeah. But every time I put your photo in, it was like perfect, polished. I I don't understand. I don't know. Anyway, AI sucks, but it is what it is. We're using it to the best of our ability. We're just figuring it out.

SPEAKER_02 58:43

We're just figuring out we're gonna figure it out, and uh hopefully you guys all follow along and support us and uh interact with us and again.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

We are at the Beauty Files Pod on Instagram. Um, my personal handle is at an afternoon with Amy and Rachel, you are well at the most men's pa.

SPEAKER_02 59:04

And then like I said, we're we're working on my my personal by next episode.

SPEAKER_01 59:09

Oh, you're gonna have see, see how it feels? You're gonna have your new handle. Okay. Now, if you're a little online detective, you can probably figure out uh Rachel's handle pretty easy. And that is exquisite with no E in the beginning, just the letter X. Yeah. Um, all right, we solved everything today. Everything. This was this was this is basically what you're gonna get. We're gonna go deep, we're gonna go shallow everywhere. And shallow I mean literally in terms of not becoming us being like shallow, unless it's Heidi Klum's dress, but uh I will link that that will be in the show notes if you're curious of what that looks like. So anyway, uh thanks for hanging out, and we'll see you next week. All right, case closed.