When the Person Who Protects You Needs Saving

As a little girl, Dalea Nodal looked up to her father—a respected physician whose life slowly unraveled under the grip of addiction. As his dependence on prescription pain medication spiraled into heroin, Dalea watched the foundation of her family crumble, leaving her mother to hold everything together through unimaginable hardship.

In this deeply personal conversation, Dalea shares what it was like to grow up surrounded by trauma, how those experiences shaped her, and why she refused to let her past define her future.

Today, Dalea is raising four children, homeschooling her family, teaching women to protect themselves through Smart Girl Self-Defense, and helping others build confidence as a firearms instructor and fitness coach.

This episode is about breaking cycles, finding strength in the midst of chaos, and discovering that even the hardest beginnings don’t have to determine where your story ends.

If you or someone you love is struggling with substance use, help is available from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline (link).

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Hosted by Heather Winkeljohn, She Fights shines a light on women who have faced life’s toughest battles and emerged stronger. Through compassionate conversations that inspire hope and resilience, Heather reminds us that while every woman fights a different battle, none of us has to fight alone. 

Jackson Wink Gym (website)

If you're interested in learning self-defense:

Smart Girl Self Defense (website)

Disclaimer:
This episode is shared for educational and storytelling purposes only and is not intended to replace professional therapy, counseling, or medical care. Heather Winkeljohn is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. The views and experiences shared by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Heather Winkeljohn or She Fights or UnstoppableVoicesMedia.com. If you are struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a qualified professional.

If you are in crisis or thinking about self-harm, contact your local emergency services or, in the U.S., call/text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — available 24/7, free and confidential.

New Life Ministries (website), a Christian counseling and support ministry providing faith-based care and resources to those in need.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

There's a lot of women out there with stories of strength and resilience that go untold. Not anymore. Join me now for Cheap Fights.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

No Chief Fights.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Welcome to Chief Fights with Heaven Windows Johnson, brought to you by Smart Girl Self-Defense. The podcast where we bring you raw, powerful, and inspiring stories of women who have faced the unimaginable and survive. Some conversations explore heavy emotional life experiences. Please take care and listen when it feels right for you. From battles with illness to abuse and injustice to triumphs of resilience, courage, and hope. These are the voices that refuse to be silenced. Real women, real stories, unbreakable spirit. This is She Fights.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Joining me today is Gastelia Nodal, and she was born and raised here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She graduated from UNM with a BA in English and a BS in biology. She worked in a genetics lab at UNM where she studied genes involved in cardiac development. And she published a paper on that subject as well. She then went on to work at Sandia National Laboratories. And once she started having kids, she stepped away from her career to raise her children. She's a mom to four children and she homeschools them. Delia is also working part-time here at Smart Girl Self-Defense. She's a great patient assistant coach, and she helps women here learn self-defense, but she also teaches our fitness classes. She is, in addition to this, a part-time firearms instructor at Calibers. And she's also the instructor and chapter leader for the Armed Women of America Albuquerque chapter. So thanks for joining me today, Delia. Thank you. So one interesting thing that I had learned about Delia while she was here with us training, and I had no idea. She had lived through a personal deep trauma, and that was with your father's drug addiction and loss. Can you touch on that for a moment and tell us what happened there, what that was about?

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Yeah, so like you already mentioned, I grew up here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I was blessed with a good family. You know, my parents loved us, everything like that. Uh, and my dad was a doctor, and my mom was a stay-at-home mom in the beginning. And then, you know, my dad had actually done some drugs in high school, and then after, I mean, he had pretty much started to struggle with those, I think, since then. He was actually almost kicked out of medical school because of it. When he seemed to pull it together, he was clean for many years. You know, he had a son with another woman, and then he met my mom and had like, you know, seven years clean when they met, and then things seemed like they were good. And then it wasn't until I was in middle school that my dad relapsed. And, you know, he had a neck injury and he had to have surgery for that. And of course, for something like that, they're gonna put you on pain medication. And then after that, things just kind of started to spiral out of control. So the ironic thing was that he's actually was a doctor that worked at a treatment center and he helped people who were struggling with addiction. Oh wow. Um, so yeah, it was kind of ironic. He ended up leaving there because it he kind of already started to have some troubles. Um, and he opened up his own private practice. My mom had opened up a flower shop here in town, and you know, they kind of juggled that for a while. But then at one point he started failing a routine drug test because he had that history, he was always required to go submit drug tests randomly, and he failed one. And you know, after that, he left right before my birthday and went to rehab for three months and he didn't stay clean very long. Within a few months, he popped up dirty again. And at that point, my mom was like, All right, we're done. And so, you know, she worked on getting that divorce, but he pretty much spiraled out of control pretty quick. From that, he lost his license to practice medicine, obviously. And then before the divorce was really finalized, you know, he started going through everything he could really, and he spent all of so I have you know three other brothers, and he went through the college funds for myself and my two other younger brothers, kind of everything that he could get his hands on. You know, at one point, basically, he was arrested for trafficking heroin outside of our home, and it was all over the local news station. Um, yeah, and so he fell really hard basically. You know, after that he ended up on the streets and you know would ask us for help. And obviously, you know, none of us felt safe. So we didn't really help him, but he had a friend that helped him. And from all of this, he ended up filing for bankruptcy. My mom's flower shop got sucked into it. They had to close that. We lost the car we had, you know, nobody would touch us, so uh for like loans and things, it was really hard. And my grandmother ended up helping us get you know on our feet and things like that. I guess it you know, it was really hard kind of seeing somebody who was so brilliant and so loving and then fall so hard, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Yeah, to be a doctor, an MD, and and he must have been incredibly intelligent and brilliant and just goes to show that addiction hits all all walks of life. So this started in middle school. Well, at least that's when you seem to notice it. And then it this stretched out into adulthood. You're you were were you married at this time when some of this was still happening?

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Yeah, totally. So he'd come in and out of our life, and he at one point kind of got on his feet, his friend and helped him get a job part-time, and you know, he kept trying to make amends, I would say. And it took me several years to get to a point where I felt comfortable having him in my life in a limited way, especially because I started having children, and you know, we would meet in public places where we all felt kind of safe because you weren't really sure if he was using or not, things like that. And then at one point he had, you know, gotten another accident, I think because he had been using, he like dozed off. It was just himself, but the car rolled, and then he had to have back surgery and you know, things like that. So you just weren't really sure if he was clean or not. He ended up dying from an overdose, like I don't know, I want to say about like five years ago. So you know, I think he kind of, you know, he obviously struggled with it all the way until the end.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Yeah, yeah. So you, I mean, you could have gone down a completely different path than where you are today, honestly, with dealing with a parent and addiction, and that could have really, you know, caused you to spiral into a whole different lifestyle. And thankfully it didn't, because you're very strong and confident. And I'm just curious, how did that experience and how did that childhood trauma shape your personal safety and your resilience and taking control of your own life?

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Yeah, good question. I think for me, the major thing was after seeing how drugs really just devastated my family, and like obviously I could see how it destroyed my father because he really just became a shell of like who he once was. So I think seeing that had already made me realize like there's no way I want to touch that stuff. Um, especially because I have a family history of lots of people in my family struggled with alcoholism and we've had several suicides and you know, just things like that. So I already kind of knew that I was already at high risk for that. So just kind of seeing that, you know, made me really just want to make sure I didn't want to let anything like that happen. A lot of people, you know, are in a similar situation to me just because, like you had mentioned earlier, it's this isn't that special. I think a lot of people really do struggle with this within their family, and I don't necessarily think people talk about it that much, but I do think that it's there. I think a lot of people within the country and within the state of New Mexico, I think really do have a hard time with that. And so I don't know. For me, I just saw that and I wanted to make sure it didn't happen to me. I guess.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

Yeah. Do you credit your mom as well with it? It sounds like she was fairly the stable parent. Yeah. So you credit her with some of that.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah, I was grateful, definitely. I definitely think, you know, we I've had lots of like good friends, family, angels all around. My mom, my grandmother were really examples of resilient women. And you know, especially my mom, I can't imagine going through something like that. But and I was glad that she didn't put up with it and that she was willing to get a divorce as soon as she saw that it was going to continue, I guess, being a problem.

SPEAKER_03 8:33

Yeah. So you have a background in biology, and you're also a firearms instructor, which these are kind of two worlds that people don't always connect together. How has your science background influenced the way you teach self-defense and firearms training?

SPEAKER_02 8:50

Yeah, I think that's a really good question. You know, I kind of fell into the firearms training. I've always been passionate about fitness and that kind of thing. I've always wanted to get in self-defense, but as I was growing up, obviously things were chaotic, and my mom was like, we don't have the money for that. And that made sense, you know. But as soon as I got to be an adult, you know, I was able to kind of get into it. And it wasn't until we actually had friends that had a home invasion, and you know, they live in a nice neighborhood here in town. They have ADT, and the guy was on drugs and he just busted in. And they called 911 right away, but they couldn't get there until 45 minutes had gone by. Oh my gosh. And so after that, I really felt like I needed to do something in my life to take my own self-defense a little bit more personally, I guess. Yeah. Especially because, you know, I didn't grow up around firearms or anything like that. But after that, I started taking intro classes just to see if that's even something I wanted in my home, especially, you know, having children. I think it's important that you are smart about that and safe. And, you know, you have your firearms locked and locked up in things. And anyways, so I kind of got into it from that. And I took an NRA class that was called Refuse to be a Victim and just taking as many classes as I could, but it was in that class that I heard about smart girl self-defense. And then from there, I was kind of like, well, that's the next step. And I loved that it was a four-hour introductory class because I had felt a little bit intimidated, and so I just felt like that was really approachable. It was all women, it's four hours, and it was just it covered all the bases that I felt like I needed. And after taking it, I felt really empowered. I felt like my self-confidence improved. I mean, I just couldn't get enough of it after that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Now you're a main cog here, so that's good. Yeah. And I I know I have a background in my family history after my dad passed when I was young. My mom married a more of an emotionally, psychologically abusive partner. I don't know, maybe it's just something that some people who have trauma grow up with women that they they gravitate towards this stuff somewhat, maybe to make them, or at least for me, it makes me feel more in control. I agree. You know, and it's like I'm not gonna let that happen to me. I'm not, I'm gonna be in control. I don't know, it's it's empowering on a lot of different levels. So a lot of women feel intimidated by firearms or they feel like they're just not the type to learn. And what do you say to women who are curious about self-protection, but they might feel fearful or hesitant or even overwhelmed?

SPEAKER_02 11:20

Yeah, I first I would say I think that's very normal to feel that way. And I would just take baby steps and you know, see how you surprise yourself. So, like I mentioned, I think for me, I think smart girls introductory class is like a really great place to start for that. And then as far as firearms, you know, there's an intro to handguns class at calibers, there's private lessons, there's different ways, but I would say take baby steps, you know, reach out to people that you trust and give yourself a shot. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Just take that first step. Yeah, you know, wherever you live, you know, find that place that that does that kind of training and and get introduced to it. I mean, I know I've been around guns, but I was rusty. I had a new firearm, I hadn't even shot, I had it for a year. And because of you, I was able to work with you or you, you know, help me kind of overcome some of that that hesitancy and unknown. And then now I'm in the Armed Women of America chapter with you. So yeah, so it's great. It's helped me so much, and I I push it to other women as often as I can because I think every woman should have all the tools, all the tools. I mean, my home was almost invaded one night by three men, and I had a firearm, and luckily it didn't go anywhere. My husband was traveling at the time, and I knew self-defense, but all the self-defense in the world wasn't gonna help me, God forbid, if three men came into my home. It was gonna be a firearm, and so we have to think about those things too a little bit and um and use all the tools I think that are available to us. And then on the other side of that, you know, I do think sometimes women can't entirely rely on firearms, they have to understand some of the concepts of self-defense and distance and timing and movement and all those things we teach.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

I agree completely. And I think that is important, and I and I love that you know, Smart Girl also teaches you how to be a little bit more aware, proactive, things like that. Try to avoid the situation as much as possible. And the same thing, you know, works for firearms. And I think that when I first started getting into firearms, I was taking intro classes, private lessons, but then just similar to you, I bought a gun and then I left it in a safe, I didn't mess with it, and then it became scary again.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Uh, and I think that's actually really common. And that's kind of what got me involved in our women of America because it's a nonprofit that has chapters throughout the country. So even if you're not in Albuquerque, there may be a chapter close to you that you could reach out to. And it's a community of women where we meet once a month, we go over different topics, and then we're on the range and then we practice. And so by joining that, it helped me, it forced me to go once a month and get more comfortable. And then that's also why we became a firearms instructor, actually, was because the previous instructor for it was gonna step down and they were gonna shut down the chapter if we didn't find another female instructor. And so I was like, well, if nobody else is gonna step up, I would. Uh, in part because I, you know, I felt like it was really important for this community, it was important for me, and so that's why I got involved. So I'm super happy to hear that you've had that experience, and I hope that many women can and realize that there are a lot of resources out there for you to try. And I would say just try, you'll surprise yourself. And I think there's a lot of really nice women out there in the community. I think it, you know, at some points it can be kind of intimidating, but there is a lot of really good women out there that are wanting to help other women and empower you, and I think that's important.

SPEAKER_03 14:42

Yeah, I and I I I've experienced that just in my time that I've spent at this shooting range here with you and some of the other women, and everybody's very supportive and they want to see you succeed. Yes, yeah. So you you grew up basically seeing both the brilliance and the fragility of a highly accomplished person like your dad. And just curious, what has that taught you about mental health or hidden struggles or even the importance of that awareness in ourselves? Because yeah, I'll and I'll reiterate that, but when I was doing my nursing school clinicals, I had to go to the psych ward for a rotation. And I remember somebody, I think it was my instructor, said, at any moment, because you know, the mentally ill, so to speak, were on one side of the counter and the nurses were on the other side. And I remember the instructor saying, at any moment, we could be that person on the other side of the counter. And I went, you know what? That is just that's so profoundly true. Yeah. So I'm just curious what your dad's experience taught you about mental health and and how to be aware of that in ourselves, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Yeah, I agree. You know, I think it is important to realize that that, you know, at first I really hated my father for the things that he did, and it took many years to kind of get over that hatred and and realize too that it just takes a moment and I could be on that side. And there's someone named Tommy Rivs who is an incredible athlete, he's an ultra-marathon runner, and he's just seems like a wonderful human being in general. And I followed him for over seven years and felt really touched by his story because he ended up having a near-death battle with a rare and aggressive form of lymphoma. And he was in a medically induced coma for months. And at one point he talks about how he woke up and he woke up addicted to drugs and how difficult that was. Yeah. Especially because he was so healthy and everything like that, right? He's worked his whole life towards that. And at that point, when I heard him talking about that, it just made me cry because I realized that even though I have tried my hardest to avoid drugs and alcohol my whole life, right? It just takes one medical episode, and there I could be completely addicted as well. And so I think it is important for us to be compassionate and loving towards other people and then also towards yourself, right? Especially because I think all of us struggle with certain mental health issues to a certain extent, at least for myself, right? It's like I've, you know, I've struggled with depression and you know, I'm also OCD. So there's different things throughout my life that I've struggled with. And so I say, you know, it's important that you find people that you trust that you can talk to and just really love yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Great advice, yeah. And just recognize that we have to be empathetic, right? We have to understand the that point of view, the other side of it only. So just to wrap up, if if you could sit down with women who feel powerless or stuck in fear, what would you want them to understand about strength and confidence and the right to protect themselves?

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Uh yeah, I would honestly just want to give them a hug and just say, like, you got this, you can do this, and that you're worth it. You're worth it, you're special, you're loved, you're worth defending. Even if you can't love yourself yet, fake it till you make it. And there are people who love you, and we need you here, and we need your strength and everything else that you're providing for this world. I think you know, women really make this world a better place in a lot of ways. And so I just say you're worth it. Try it, just give yourself that one shot and don't give up.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

Yeah, don't give up. Yeah, yeah. I love that. That's that's we say that all the time in here. Yeah, don't give up. And I think too, you know, we see it sometimes in even the self-defense classes. We will get uh a woman or a young girl, and they just kind of shrink inside themselves when we do the techniques, when one of the guys walks around and grabs them, and it scares the heck out of me because I I want them to have that fire. Sometimes they just shrink, yeah, and they shrivel, and they don't have that fire, that fighting spirit. And you want them to have that so badly. There's so many other things that they're probably dealing with that we're not even aware of. But I do wish that you know, most women, all women could know that they're worth fighting for, they're worth fighting for themselves, and just like you said, never give up 100%. So I agree. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for sharing that. And I I you've been such an asset to smart girl self-defense, and I know that you're an asset to calibers, the shooting range, and it's very inspirational that you came from such a traumatic background and you are where you are. So I commend you for that. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

So thank you. No Chief Fights.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Thank you for joining us on Chief Fights, where women's voices rise and strength takes center stage. If today's stories moved you, please share it. Someone out there may need to hear it. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and follow us on Twitter at smartgold. For more information about smartgold, visit smartgolds.com.stories. We invite you to listen to the podcast.