Misses Peabody | Dead Pets

TK tells us about a very special cat named Misses Peabody. 

Dead Pets is a podcast about pet grief that celebrates the lives of the creatures that have changed ours.

For more information www.deadpetspodcast.com.

Do you have a dead pet you'd like to share? Email deadpetsofficial@gmail.com. 

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pet grief, pet stories, pet loss 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Welcome to Dead Pets, the podcast about pet grief that celebrates the lives of the creatures who have changed ours. To everyone who has been listening and sharing Dead Pets with your friends, thank you so so much. We are growing, and it's really exciting for me to see this project that is so so special to me is resonating with other people in the way that I hoped it would. We have a brand new website up at www.deadpetspodcast.com. It's looking really good, and there you can find our episode archives, more information about the podcast, and you can sign up for the upcoming Dead Pets newsletter, which is a place where I will be sharing thoughts and reflections and revelations from all the conversations I get to have with people about their beloved pets, about their lives, and about their deaths. I will also be sharing my own grief journey mourning the loss of my 19-year-old cat Dodge, who died a month ago. If you sign up for the Dead Pets newsletter, you'll get access to all of this. You will also get 30% off at Dead Pets merch, which will be coming later this year. If you haven't already, don't forget to follow Dead Pets on TikTok. There you can find videos of some of the pets that we have featured and working on other content like ways that you can memorialize your pet, information on the stages of grief, and reviews on books about pet grief. On today's episode, TK tells us about a very, very special girl named Mrs. Peabody.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Excuse me, feisty Mrs. Peabody, a three-named cat for a very regal lady. We were together for 12 years. She had already had a family before, about maybe four or five years. We were together that extra long part of life where you're getting really into adulthood. I don't know what kind of cat she was. She just came to me from like a the cat distribution center. Um and um and then we we found each other and we stayed together for a while. I put on Facebook that I was looking for a cat because New York City, rodent, that's just life. That's just life, you know? Someone said, you know what? I might have a cat for you. You no pressure. I was like, how are you gonna tell me you got a cat for me? Also, no pressure. Also, that you're leaving town. She was leaving town in like 24 hours. So in my mind, I was like, How is this no pressure? But it's okay. I did put a caveat up there because I I wasn't looking for like a fluffy cat because I just didn't know how I would deal with hair and stuff. So I said, if it's fluffy, I'm gonna just be like, say no right up front. But she was a medium-haired cat. My friend Sarah White brought her to my house and she jumped out of the box and then she ran into the house, and we didn't know where she was. So I was just like, we have a cat now. I like literally saw a blur of her just run, and I was just like, I think she's alright. I mean, you you showed me pictures, she looks good. Like, is she what okay? Tell me about her. And then and then we had a cat. So at the time I was working as a pediatric nurse, so I had overnight shifts. My creative partner, we used to live together, came home first, and I left a note for him that said, There's a cat in the house. See you in at 7 a.m. Cause that's when my shift ended. So he got to experience her first, and he said she was in the closet, and then he just stayed on the floor, and she came over and was like, Oh, okay, what you doing? And then they hung out on the floor, like up the open floor together. He didn't, he was like, I'm not gonna move, I'm just gonna be around. So then I came in the morning and they were kind of bonding still. I would sleep in the daytime. When I tell you, me and this cat and this whole family that we've created, we glowed up together, right? Like we had a mattress on the floor, you know, like that level of living hard and you young and shit like that. So I think the mattress being on the floor was helpful because she came over and she would be like, Okay, if you're not moving, then I'm hanging out with you. So this little creature just came by my feet, sniffed around. I just like was very still. Okay, she's here, and I just thought that was so funny. And that was just how we like got to know each other very slowly. So it wasn't like a oh love at first sight, or I saw her fur, I got to stroke her fur. No, it was very much I'm looking at you and you looking at me, and what the hell is about to happen next. I don't know, but we seem to be in it now. So it was a house that a family member of mine had a had a like their business in. Then they stopped running their business, and then I moved into the space of the business, but it was still shaped like a house. It was a house, a business shaped like a house. So we were like bringing it back to what a home should be. So there was a like a just like a lot of mess, a lot of like, you know, and it felt very um for lack of a better word, and not to throw my family member under the bus, but yes, to throw them under the bus a little bit, um, very a little bit slummy, you know. The things that you wouldn't do to a stranger, you you they did to me, family, because you know, who's gonna say what, right? So she's coming into my life in this tumultuous time, and we're trying to build something and we're trying to, you know, bring the community in. So I'm in this weird house, mattress on the floor, right? But then also opening the doors to community and friends to come do radio with us. So it's this weird, like I don't even know what to call it, but but it was just an odd space and not realizing it was just we were just trying to make the best out of a not great situation. When you move into a neighborhood and the neighborhood is full of artists, right? You know, it's a it's a dilapidated neighborhood. It was like that version, but in just one house. We were the artists, we were the creatives. We were like, okay, well, you know what, that wall is ugly, put a painting over it, right? And that thing is, you know, a house is not a home till you have a party in it. Like, like, let's throw a party. So we were literally like literally just trying to make a life out of, you know, like a rose out of concrete, as Tupac said. Um, and we brought this cat into it to help us make that home part happen. It was just like a lot of up and down at that time, you know, pretty tumultuous. And it ended up being nice to, you know, after we got over the part where we're just trying to fix things, it ended up being really a beautiful experience. I just wish it didn't have to happen that way. We were um almost almost always on because it wasn't just me and my creative partner had a morning show, right? So it's live streaming radio three times a week, me and him. That's just me and him. But we're also, we had a third founder, he had a show twice a week in the nighttime. Um, and then from our respective place places, um, because he could log in over there in the Bronx, and we were in Brooklyn. So he I'd we'd log in. So the people closest to us would come to my house, and the people closest to him would go to his apartment at any given time during its existence. About seven to ten shows a week of different programming. So you could turn us on and hear something. It was crazy. We didn't even, but we just didn't realize it. Our example is from radio because you know, we are people of a certain age. Um, and that so that was the closest influence. Podcasting was popping, it had not popped yet, so we didn't even have that example. We just knew that the technology was moving fast, and if technology is moving fast, we if we learn from radio, which is to be always on, no dead air, and then to meet this technology that, like, okay, so I have an Ethernet cable, and you mean to tell me if I plug it in, we could just beam our voices, like we could just be all the time, just on. So, like, that's how we took it, and then we just made sure to hit the record button. So we were we were just effectively live radio hitting the record button on every show, saving it, and then posting our respective shows as podcasts, and then evolving from there. But that was the beginning, that was the first iteration. Our earliest little like embarrassments, right? Like, because you don't know how to deal with it. We don't, we don't know. We don't. I'm like, fuck, and like I don't know also other people's perceptions. Are they pet people? Do they care? Or are they just gonna keep it rolling? Or they're just gonna have a fake smile and be like, God, that was so weird. I don't know, because they never told me, but I I do know that anyone from the past that I'm still friends with, no one's ever mentioned it. So I think we're good. But we got her like right before we started the radio station. So that space, we didn't know what it was gonna be. So the litter box was there. We're like, put it, yeah, put it down there, put it down there, and we could see it from the top of the stairs, and sure, no problem. And then we started making the radio station. We, you know, put it on peeling stick tiles and the computers in this corner, and here's a chair, and so it was a whole setup. It was like kind of it was kind of cool. Like, and then this litter box, and I'm like, well, we have to do something about it. But I didn't know the that the process, like once a cat gets to know their space, that that's their space. I didn't know that. So we moved it abruptly, and then we're like inviting people, and I'm like, what is what the what is why does it smell like so weird? And I'm realizing she peed, and it's five minutes before, and also we don't know how to neutralize. We we're so new to this, so we just pour ammonia on it, which makes it worse because it's ammonia on top of ammonia, right? And I'm like, ha, it's just like, and then now it just became a practice of like at first, until we figured out how to deal with it. Open the door, welcome the people, hey, as we're as we're walking them through the process, don't worry. Um, it's live, but everybody's nice, don't worry, just sit down, put your headphones on, talk to us. We have a cat. Um, just sliding that in. We have a cat, and not even gonna live to you, fam. She just peed. And you might experience that. And I apologize. We apologize in advance because there was no room for is that okay? Because you're already here. So I just yeah, you're just here, so my bad. And they're just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everybody seemed to have a good time. And it was just like, you just would have to acknowledge it in the breaks, like, yeah, sorry about that. Okay, anyway, we're gonna come back and from a song, and you ready? Okay, the show must go on. After we got her, the logistics changed. Having to be home more, having to be home at a specific time, getting to know like another energy in the space, something always being underfoot, and also for a very long time. She didn't talk to us, she didn't meow. She, I mean, I think maybe she was getting used to us. She's just like, maybe like, oh, these people left me with these new people, and I don't know them. She didn't talk to us with her voice for a couple years, but she definitely warmed up to us, she became warm, but it just in the last part of her life, she became very communicative. So, like, we're talking when I say years, I didn't know how this cat sounded. She didn't maybe we did such a good job, like she didn't need to tell us. And then maybe the last years were full of, you know, her illness and her pain that we didn't at first we didn't understand. And then as we could recognize the signs in her eyes and her bathroom habits, then we realized like these meows, there's just no comfort in them. So I like to think at first she was getting to know us, then she just got comfortable and we didn't have to say anything. Um, and then we moved, and she was around a different cat, and she learned, I think, not I think, I know, because she was very um smart. She learned from that cat that oh, you're meowing, you're gonna you wanna get something. She learned how to get stuff. Um, she learned how to do the door and tap on the door. She didn't learn how to do that till I moved because the door was always open. But when I moved and I became a roommate, you know, you keep your door closed. Well, I don't know these people. But so she learned how to hit the door with her paw and talk to me so that I could open the door. She just was like, I'm gonna use my voice for necessity. That's it. I had started therapy in that time period when she came to me. So it was nice to have this being that I didn't have to verbally talk to, you know, someone to be like, How was therapy? No, you know how that shit was. I'm crying, I'm upset. Therapy sucked, but no, me and the cat, the cat be like looking at me, you good? And I'd be like, No, but let's watch Netflix, you know, like, and that was that was like really precious because it was like the beginning of also that process for me. The no strings of it all, like, oof, oof, that that that I think maybe affected me the most. I think more than anything, her presence was very abstract in like how I like received her. I watched her, she taught me things, and the abstract of all that is the no strings attached, right? What is unconditional love? She didn't really want nothing from me, right? Even at my worst, I was doing my best at the time. She just was like, open the door, I just want to hug you. Open the door, I want to watch TV with you, open the door, are you okay? Like, these are the things that you realize in human relationships that we have all these conditions. And of course, you should, yes, have boundaries. You should want people to treat you a certain way or whatever, but we have to realize like a lot of our human-to-human relationships are transactional, they are conditional. If you don't do this, then I will not come back, right? A pet ain't leaving, it ain't leaving, you know, and and I also want to be conscious of this, right? Because now my brain is going to this other space where you know we are keeping them. And I want to recognize that and I want to say the quiet part out loud, right? If I open the door, would she run away and come back? Like, I don't, I don't know, I don't know. But I like to think that for the most part, pet owners are doing their best in the situations that they're in to find love and comfort and energy from another being. And I hate that we have to keep them. It's kind of just how the hierarchy shook out, you know. She was very chill. I tell this story a lot. She popped me in the eye once. I did not know that was gonna happen, but again, early days. Early days. So I'm not gonna hold it against her, but I never forgot it. I used to have longer nails and I used to like paint them bright colors, and I also didn't realize that cats like tracking stuff, so my hand was under the blanket, and I'm on the floor, so I'm also at her level. So we on the mattress together, but I'm under the blanket, and my hand starts to move from like low to high, and it comes out up at the top at where my face is. And she tracked the movement of my hand, and when my hand finally came out the from under the blanket, it was up here by my face, and she went pop, and she like her paw, and like she punched me, low-key. I'm not gonna lie. I yelled and I said, see, that's my creative partner. I said, Come get this bitch. Yup, because I was because it hurt, it hurt, and it was a tiny little black spot for like two, two or three weeks. She really got me, and I was just like, Wow, never again. Wow. Okay, so like never underestimate the the power of a small creature, like, and it it just reminds me of those stories, and this is just like a cat version. You know, those people that were keeping monkeys, which don't keep a monkey, but then like they would like have dinner with it and drink with it, and then like it would rip off your face. That's that's where my mind went very fast. I was like, come get her, please. So we had to take a week off. I was very scared. I was like, I can't, we need some space, and that was like early days. Um, and then just um her learning the like how to open the door, and she just knew how to find a plastic bag, too. She learned that that plastic bag is like kryptonite from me. I think she learned that would get us up. Oh my gosh, she was so smart, like she's so beautiful. She had such stage presence. I just started taking so many pictures of her, and I probably did too much, but it's okay. Like now she's internet famous, or like in my community, you know, people remember her still, right? Like they're like, oh, Mrs. Peabody, you know, like, or people came to visit New York and be like, oh, I I want to come hang with you, but also can I come see Mrs. Peabody? And I'd be like, You you are so funny, this funny cat. She just had such presence, but also without being overbearing. Like, I'm here, I look good, pet me. She was definitely very open to receiving, and that's also another lesson, right? To be open to receiving, to receive that love. You don't know where it's gonna come from, right? Could be my my people or it could be my people's people, and maybe also maybe she trusted those people because we trusted those people on those days that those people would visit. We didn't lock her up, we didn't put her in the bathroom and close the door or in the bedroom and close the door. And maybe she picked up on that. Like, yo, this is a special person because they're at the house and people don't just get to come to the house. I like to guard my space too, like a cat. Like we moved several apartments. We moved to that roommate situation, we moved back in with my parents, we left my parents, we, you know, went to a small apartment, we went to a bigger apartment. This final apartment that me and her were in together was the best one, you know, so far, right? So it felt like we grew. And as because as I would get a better situation, you know, whenever you have to move back home, that's a hard, right? You're grown up, you you're moving back home, that's tough. So there was a lot of depression and stuff happening at that time and feeling like, you know, for for lack of a better word, it's like I don't want to say I felt like a failure, but I yeah, yeah, yeah. That was that was there. That was there. Family brings up a lot of stuff. You know, I love I love my parents for providing, but living with them as an adult brings up a lot of stuff. So then we left, you know, there was time, found a small space in back in Brooklyn, came home, home, home in Brooklyn to me, and I was just so happy. I'm like, you know, so like I'm nesting and and it's like my little place. And as I'm nesting, I think the energy, you know, the universe provides, you know, and I got a better job. The job enabled me to get this apartment, enabled me to do some nice things for myself and Mrs. Peabody. And that's when I got her the $200 litter box. And I was like, I have an aesthetic, but I also need my cat and her things to meet this aesthetic. So I was like, this is for you, girl. COVID came, which was a lot. People were making the pods. So me and my creative partner, we didn't live together anymore for a while, but he came back and we became a pod with Mrs. Peabody. And so now you have two people and a cat in this small, small, small, small apartment and living through COVID, living through like people are dying. People are marching. People, it was Black Lives Matter. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like people, we were scared. People wanted to hang out. People didn't want to hang out. There was a lot of tension there. So it was nice to like, okay, well, if we're gonna pod, let's pod together, like the three amigos, the original three, at least we know it's safe inside here. After you take off your hazmat suit when you go to the supermarket and you come back, you peel that thing off. Well, we're back. The spacemen are back, and and we came to see our cat. Like that's how it felt. Like we were going to space. So, like all these things were happening, and we also started to broadcast from inside the apartment, and she was there for all of that, you know. So, like trying to be part of that cause where people were were doing stuff on Zoom, or so we tried to provide things for people to do and be of service in the community. So she like witnessed all that. Then we moved to this bigger apartment, and I think she was just happy with the space, and she got to be here maybe three years before she passed. And then that's this is where you know you really realize, you know, I'm like something is up. We had to start using the wee wee pads, you know. It's she's not even getting into the box anymore at this point. You know, we just trying to figure it out, change the food, change the this, uh maybe we, you know, dry, wet, wet, dry, like just doing a million different things to to figure out what's happening. But at least here in this space, I did a lot of work from home so I could be here and kind of see what was happening in real time. And she just had more room to roam, to find places to hide, to be cozy. So I'm thankful for that, you know, in these different like life milestones. So when your your pet stops doing something that they've been doing for 12 years, or they do something new, you're like, huh, what's that? And they're in tune with us, right? When we come in and we're sick, and then they lay on the body part that's affected. I don't I don't know what they're thinking, but I don't think that they second guess that. When they say that the dogs could smell certain diseases on you, they don't second guess that. It's just what it is. I think as humans, we have to remember that and take that lesson of following our intuition. And the noticing when it's your pet, it's just like so hard because you you do know that it's eventually what's gonna happen, right? Like this is the beginning of something. She just started looking real rugged, real tough. Like the coat wasn't the same, you know, just real rough, like over time, like a gradual, you know. But we like, you know what? We love you, girl, no matter how you look, and and we do know that you're getting old, so we just no judgment here, like no judgment here. Then it was little things like the different types of food. We thought it was a flavor thing, and maybe it was also. Maybe she became fickle in her old age. But we were going to this store, that store, another store, just trying to find something she would like because she wasn't eating as much. And then, of course, less and less water, the intake, but really it was the litter habits, the bathroom habits became erratic. And just having to make so many different adaptive tools for her. Like I made a little staircase for her. I just trying all kinds of ways to make her comfortable. A couple days before, she she tried to jump on something. She tried to jump on the couch and she didn't gauge it. And you know, cats are good at that. That's that was the when I said, oh fuck, bro. I was like, bro, we're fucked. Yo, like it's happening. It's happening. So when I saw that, I was extra on my like my antennas went up at the end. She went in her litter box and she just sat there and she nestled. First, I was like, oh girl, get out of that. Like, like, let me and let me help you. Let me and then I realized what she was doing. I was like, fuck. But I didn't want to. I realized, but I didn't want to. So I said, let's see what tomorrow. Because she would have these bounce backs. So I'm like, tomorrow, let's see. Went to sleep, woke up. I looked at her. She was near the box or back in the box or something. It was in that area. And I just knew I called C, I called my creative partner, and I said, Something's happening. I think you should come. I think today we might have to make a decision. So he came. And I while he was on his way, I'm looking at stuff online, and I'm like, hmm. All the words on the screen are pointing to what I know. This might be our our last day together. And I also knew that I didn't want to cause her any more pain because she was also very um nervous. Um, she was always a nervous cat to go outside. Like, so she didn't, she was an indoor cat through and through. So going in the car, going on, you know, like taking her out would be probably like the most. I don't want to put her through that. Not today. So I was like Googling pet at home last day. I don't know. Well, just putting words into the Google. And I came upon this lady, I call her Miss Wendy, I don't remember her last name. I would call her a pet doula. And she was servicing my neighborhood. It was crazy. Like all of the, you know, things that I needed, she was servicing my area. Like she's like, I am in this, this, this. And I was one of them. And I sent a message and I left my number, and she sent me an email back and said, I'm gonna text you. And she said, I'm actually not too far. I have an current appointment in the morning. If you would like me to come, and no pressure, there's no decision made until you make it. Here's some literature. She sent me all these links. Like there's a chart, I forgot the name of the chart, but there's a chart, like how to know, um, diff different phases. I read the chart and I was just like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then I said, also, you know, you'll just tell us, right? Like you'll like make sure, you'll know, and you'll tell us if there's any way, if there's any way that she said, Of course, I'll tell you. She came here. My brother he was here, um, my baby brother. We just all knew, and like it's like everyone, we all got into like some sort of action. We put her on the sofa, we got her in a in a nice little blanket. We played some music, some nice jazz music was playing. We took some pictures. My brother came up, he facilitated photos. Like, you know how sometimes people don't know what to do, so they make themselves useful. I felt like that was, and I've I very much appreciated that. We called some people. She was famous. We had to let the friends know. And we had some friends that are similar with their own animals, so we like, I think you care, you'd care to know. Miss Wendy finally was able to get here at like 2:30 in the afternoon. She talked to us uh and talked to Miss Peabody so lovely, like so beautiful. Like just like, hey, hey, Miss Peabody, you know, I see you look a little thirsty. What's going on here? And she just gave her a thorough look and she's talking to her like, not like nothing's wrong, but like she just respected that this was a being, and she talked to us too. Like, hey, you know, cat parent. You know, she just talked to us normal and but also gently. And I was just like, I appreciate this. Like, I don't feel patronized, you know, like I don't feel like you're patronizing us. And then she was just like, you know, I'm looking at her, and I really I don't think there's a way forward. She had already given me the options on paper, and I I read them, but then she reiterated them, and I said, Okay. And then what does that mean? She's like, I'm just gonna give her some medicine. And when she goes to sleep and she doesn't wake up again, that's what happened. She looked at us, she gave her the medicine, Miss Peabody looked at us or looked towards us. I I don't even know if she could see us at that time. I had her wrapped up in a piece of my grandma's moo moo. Then it happened, and she gave her the medicine, and Miss Peabody just kind of like, you know, all right, guys, I'm gonna take a little rest. And she took her rest. And Miss Wendy took her body all wrapped up in my grandma's moo moo, and she took her with her. She messaged me and let me know like what happens next. You know, I'm gonna take her to the pet crematorium, I will give you updates, and then they will mail all the remains back to you. Do you want the portrait? Do you want what do you want? So we got we got all that. Yeah, it was just like what a it was such a surreal time, you know, also in the house because I just didn't want her to be subject to anxiety on that last day. Of us would take her to a vet to this sterile place. I think that was the last thing that we could do for her was make her comfortable and not make her go through that.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

What was it like to live without her at first? It sucked.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

It was two things though, I'm not gonna lie. Because I think also when people have, you know, sick pets, sick people in their home, you know, there's this caregiving that happened. And I had a life before that as a caregiver, and I had stopped living that life. I moved on and I'm doing audio now, and I found my way in it. So I had removed myself from that part, that human part, but I replaced it with this pet part. And there was guilt that we didn't do enough for a long time. There's also a part of maybe we didn't do enough, right? Like pet ownership is expensive. There were not measures that we were willing to take because we didn't have money for ourselves. So we had to play this game over the years of how much, what do we do? What can we do? What do we do? Thinking about all that, fuck, bro. Like, you know, like, but I'm also like, man, we were we was hungry at times. Like, I'm like, you know, like we just did what we could, but there that guilt played, and then the immediate after effects of the energy of the being not being there. So you come in, you open the door, and you your eye goes to the place where they would always be. It wasn't there all the time. So that was a whole like just energetic thing to get over or not even get over, just to work through and then the guilt seeing like people with their pets on TV. Because on TV or or like it's the imagined life, right? When you see people in their like fake families, you're like, wow, I wish we were like that. I wish we could have had this thing where you know, and I wish like vets didn't cost a thousand dollars. Like, I I can't change none of that shit. But like my brain was like, you didn't do enough. You you should have been like those people. You should have, did you do a go fund me? Like, and I'm like, man, I'm I would I'm I'm not doing a go fund me for myself, fam, let alone, you know, like, or else we'd just be always be asking, asking, you know, like it was those kind of things to work through, like a lot of mental just gymnastics, but then the caregiving of it all, I'm not gonna lie, like there was a little relief there. She wasn't sick anymore, she wasn't in pain anymore. We didn't have to figure it out because the universe just figured it out. You do get a piece of your life back, not gonna lie, you know what I'm saying? Like, that shit was a big responsibility. There was relief in that sense. People always ask, are you gonna get another cat? Not right now. Because I know my life with it, I'm learning my life without her or any other pet. And I think right now my life, it's refocusing on myself, right? To give myself all the things I couldn't give Mrs. Peabody, which are a lot of things. I am, I'm, I'm going to the doctor. I'm drinking more water, I'm whatever. You know what I'm saying? I'm popping people in the face. No, I'm not popping people in the face. But the lesson is there.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

When you think of her now, what do you think of?

SPEAKER_00 35:56

I just think of this cutie pie. I think of being free. She was serious in her stature. Head up, surfaces, you know. I just think of her as this, like, yo, some people say, what would Jesus do? I say, what would Mrs. Peabody do? What would she allow to happen or not allow to happen? Who would she pay attention to? Who would she not pay attention to? So I think about her in these ways that like kind of would help my life. And once in a while, a cat thing will happen. Like, you know, I'll see a cat will come up to me. Like a cat came up to me on a vacation. I was on vacation the first year, and it wouldn't leave me alone for like a half hour, like just circling, circling, circling my feet. And I'm just like, okay, girl, hey. Like those little moments, that's when I think about her.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Where does she live on around you?

SPEAKER_00 36:53

That's something I'm working on. Before, yeah, we just had her her memorial stuff in the living room, and we kept the food bowl out for a long time before we started moving it. And then when it was time to let go of the $200 cabinet, um, I put it on Marketplace, Facebook Marketplace. And I just was like, I just know whoever's gonna have it, like that's my paying it forward, right? Who else is gonna buy that? Like, and and I just know that someone else and someone else's cat would appreciate it. So once I knew that I we could start letting go of her stuff, that was a way of memorializing her. And now as I'm getting more little by little, very baby steps into like embracing spirituality more. Um opening the door to honoring Mrs. Peabody in an altar form, you know. So now I have a special place for her, her little box, the brush, some catnip that she didn't finish, um, that she didn't finish rolling around in because they love that stuff. But I then started to make an altar to all of the beloved people that have passed that I know that I love, and she's on there. And we have a dog in our family, Milo is on there. We had another dog in, like, you know, my cousin's dog, my my mother's dog, Riley is on there, as well as human uncles and aunts and friends. They're all there together, and I like to think that that's what they're all doing. She also helped me to start that process in a little way, because she deserved more than to be just locked on in some drawer. And I was like, if I'm doing it for you, huh? Maybe I could do it for some other people that or other special people and pets. So now I have an altar.

SPEAKER_01 38:54

If there is an afterlife, if there is that rainbow bridge and she's waiting for you on the other side, and you get to see her again, what is the first thing that you will say to her?

SPEAKER_00 39:06

I'm gonna say, girl, were you watching all that shit from above? That wasn't it crazy that, oh girl, you left me. Like, oh, and she would probably just be like, I'm not gonna pay you no mind, but that'd be cool. I I like I loved her like cool nonchalance, but I knew she cared. So I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna be as like just emotive as fuck, yo, like, yo, man, 2026 was crazy, wasn't it? And I'll just catch her up on all the things, you know, that she missed. I sent her a lot of prayers up for other people's pets because we also in my my group of friends of a certain age, your pets start dying. So many people around me, they've lost their pets. So every time a person would lose their pet, I'd be like, okay, Miss Peabody, listen, someone's coming your way, you know. So I gave her a lot of work to do, and I'm I'm gonna apologize for that. But um, you know, and uh but I hope she was a good tour guide for them.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please like and subscribe and share with your friends. If you have a dead pet that you'd like to share, please send an email to deadpetsofficial at gmail.com. Dead Pets is a wild media industry production. It is written and hosted by me, Louise Wilde. Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. Anatole Frap.