Episode 12: If You’re Feeling Emotionally Overwhelmed, Listen to This

Episode 12: If You’re Feeling Emotionally Overwhelmed, Listen to This

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Transcript

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I think usually when I'm at a very like low point of my life, as in I don't have good control of my emotions, everything's just starting to piss me off, and I start feeling resentful. I resort to anger. I don't like it. Genuinely, I don't like who I become when I get angry, when I get resentful, when and I can't regulate my emotions. I feel like I just become this really ugly version of me that no one deserves, and it's probably worse in my head than I actually am because we are our biggest critic and we uh like to maximize our flaws and uh uh the things that we are outputting negatively. Like I just feel like it's a lot bigger in our heads than we are actually putting out. Uh-huh. But uh if it's like an accumulation of those outputs of negativity, then you're doing something wrong. And I feel like that's something I caught myself doing the whole past week. I have a couple of reasons why I think it caused it. It's it was just a lot, and on top of that, I was dealing with like an ending of a talking, I don't even know what we were. Like, I ended it basically. We talked for like almost three months, and he wasn't taking it too well, and the empath in me was feeling every single bit of it. As he started expressing more and more, I started feeling more and more, so I was not good emotionally, and so I was not being the best version of myself, and I'm not saying over here that we always need to be performing at our highest selves, but I think we know when we're performing at our lowest selves, and like when we can do better, but we're just choosing not to do better. That was literally me last week, and I just couldn't find a way out of it. That usually it will like make me feel better when I move my body and I sweat it out and I'm pushing it. But even after like these workout classes, I just regulated back to my default negative self and I was not liking it, but I'm finally like getting out of it a little bit, and there are a lot of epiphanies that I did have. So, in this episode, I am going to tell you how you can regulate your emotions again and get yourself out of the negativity loop so that it doesn't affect your week, your month, your years. Because I feel like once we fall into the trap of this negativity loop, it's really hard to get out. So let's get straight into it. One is to notice what you are feeling, just sit with it and feel it. Do not suppress it. For example, I love hearing personal stories with examples. I just feel like I get to know that person better. So I'm gonna give you an example so you guys can get to know me better a little bit. So I ended my talking phase with this guy um like three weeks ago, two weeks ago, two, three weeks ago. The main reason of me ending this relationship was because he wasn't showing up for me in the way that I felt loved, and it was not clocking to him like what I was asking of him. When you're voicing these things to him, and he's not reciprocating the energy that you need, and you can't teach a man like how to show up for you if he's not willing to. Like, don't have them overstay their stay. When a woman is loved, you are glowing. Therefore, I felt like I was settling, so I left. But I say just feel it, you gotta really like feel it and see it for what it is. Like, I say feel it as in like don't ignore that negativity, right? Like, don't ignore it and be like, I'm still gonna be the best version of myself because that's like suppressing something. So feel your negative emotions, but also like want to get out of it. So for me, when I'm at a negative state, like I'm a very fiery person, and I've worked a lot to like not be such a fiery, reactive person, and that is my core when I am like negative. The core of who I am when I am negative is angry. So, what can I do with that anger? How can I not let that anger come out so much? Knowing your weak points when you are at a negative state, and knowing how to suppress those, like not suppress your negativity, but suppress how you become when you are a negative person yourself. And some people just get really sad, some people get really depressed, or some people get very angsty when they're in a negative state of mind. It's okay to have it less balanced, but it's not okay to like have that negative core emotion at its peak because that's also going to make you into someone you're not again, like little by little. It's like all the work that you've done to become the good version of yourself will start to subtract if you keep letting those parts come up come out. When you feel the need to journal, when you feel the need to let it out, when you feel the need to talk about it, I pray, I really try to pray, and I really try to give it to God. I'm not, I'm still trying to get good at this, and I'm still trying to make it a habit where I give my problems to God and I ask Him to handle it for me, to like take over my heart and have Him be the leader of my heart and my intentions and my interactions and with everything. When I start falling short, I start giving those problems to God, and I want to make that more of a habit. The main thing that's causing it is a need is not being met, right? And that's why you are being so negative. It's because either you've been abandoning yourself with something, you've been holding something for too long, or you haven't been meeting your own needs, you're feeling resentful, like there's something you're lacking, and that's why you're becoming this negative version of yourself. It's really up to you to meet that need of yourself, and you don't know what needs to be met if you're not being reflective. Everything seems so messy up in the brain, like, and until you say it out loud or you write it down or you can even type it, it won't be full formulated sentences. Like, there won't be a period at the end, it will just keep going in circles and circles and circles, and you will write paragraphs in your head that might not even make sense if you just put it on a piece of paper. I try to focus on what makes me me. It is a goal of mine to walk with God a little stronger, and it is a relationship that I am building, and little by little I am seeing that I am relying on God a lot, and He's making me into a softer person. Um, yeah, I don't know how we got this off this. We kind of got sidetracked, but yeah, I say the fourth point where we at our fourth point is to really be reflective and be in tune with what you are lacking from yourself or how you haven't been showing up, and a lot of problems can be fixed through that. And the fifth and final point of how you're not going to be in this negative loop is to find a routine, find something you can find structure in when your head is kind of spiraling, and when you feel like you aren't regulating your emotions as well as you normally are, or when you're not like in control of your emotions. I say having a routine and knowing you can control something about your day keeps you at peace a little bit more. So I always like having a planner, and I always like booking my workout classes, or even writing down, like sometimes I just write down unnecessary things just so I can check them off. And that's a part of making myself feel better too. It's just I just put out all my gym clothes and I just put out my contacts for the day. I packed my breakfast and lunch tomorrow, I filled up my water bottle, I put my um iced coffee cup right where it needs to be. Like I have my coffee pods ready, I have my milk ready, like everything is prepped, and I just need to get up, brush my teeth, and go to the gym. Like it's just so simple. I have my outfit picked for the day, I have my toiletries packed for when I shower at the gym. Like, I it's like also a part of me showing up for me. And so having that routine and having that organized and having that structured will bring you back to yourself again. Like when you are at like kind of a negative version of yourself and you remind yourself of the highest version of yourself, and like you throw in glimpses of your highest of yourself when you're na your negative version of yourself, you kind of go back to who you are like a lot faster. Is this making sense? I hope this is making sense. Like, if you are in a negative loop right now and you're kind of like, Oh my gosh, how do I get out of this? I'm so sick of this, and you are feeling disappointed in yourself or feeling like this because girl, I was. I hope this episode helped you get out of it a little bit. I am always rooting for whoever you want to become, as long as you are proud of that girl and proud of that version of yourself. As I'm getting older, so much of the complexities of a person's brain and personality and relationships and growing up, my internal dialogue. I can't imagine like what some other people are going through. I don't like I'm just saying, like, I feel for you, and we in this together, honey. I'm gonna end it here. Thank you so much for listening, and I will catch you in my next one. Okay, bye.