Moving After Divorce: Finding Home, Community, and a More Sustainable Life

What happens when you make a big move after divorce, hoping for a fresh start, only to realize the new place does not feel like home?

In this episode of Real Estate Connections, Mary Foerster talks with Amy Bolduc, host of the Grounded in Maine podcast, about sustainability, relocation, starting over, and the courage it takes to keep searching for a place that truly fits.

Amy shares how her journey from Maine to southern Virginia, and eventually back to New England, was shaped by divorce, affordability, remote work restrictions, her desire for more land, and her dream of building a life closer to gardening, food preservation, and community.

She also talks about why “proof of concept” is helpful when considering a move, but not always realistic for people with limited resources, pets, family responsibilities, or an urgent life transition.

This is a conversation about much more than real estate.

It is about how we decide when to take a leap, how we respond when a move does not go as planned, and why telling people what you are looking for can open unexpected doors.

Amy also shares her personal approach to sustainability: you do not have to be perfect. You simply have to care for the piece of the world you occupy and do the best you can with the resources you have. 

What You Will Hear

•  What sustainability means to Amy 
•  Why sustainability does not require perfection 
•  How Amy started gardening, making jam, and preserving food 
•  The story behind Grounded in Maine 
•  Moving after divorce and needing a fresh start 
•  Why Amy moved from Maine to Virginia 
•  What she wishes she could have done before the move 
•  The value of a “proof of concept” move 
•  Why affordability can make trial moves impossible 
•  Buying a home after only a short visit 
•  Why the right property can matter as much as the right house 
•  The dream of farming, land, tiny homes, and intentional community 
•  Solar panels, composting, community solar, and practical sustainability 
•  Why sharing what you need can lead to unexpected opportunities 
•  How relationships can open doors during a move 

GUEST BIO

Amy Bolduc is the host of Grounded in Maine, a podcast featuring open conversations about sustainability, food, gardening, community, homesteading, practical climate action, and how people show up for the world.

A self-described wannabe farm girl, Amy currently lives in Maine with her dog and two cats. She loves cooking, baking, gardening, preserving food, birdwatching, and learning from people with different experiences and perspectives.

Amy’s sustainability journey grew from gardening, food preservation, volunteering at an organic farm, and launching a jam business in 2020. She started Grounded in Maine in 2022 as a place for honest conversations about creating a better future through everyday choices. 

In this episode, Amy shares her own relocation story, including moving after divorce, purchasing a home in Virginia, realizing the area was not the right fit, and returning to New England while continuing to search for a more sustainable, community-centered way of living. 

GUEST LINKS

Grounded in Maine Podcast and Website
 https://www.groundedinmaine.com/1952444

Instagram
 https://www.instagram.com/groundedinmainepodcast_?igsh=cjMyYzhqem9ucmxi&utm_source=qr

This episode is intended for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial or investment advice.

Transcript

0:00

And welcome back to Real Estate Connections podcast. And I usually do my intro after I visit with my guest, but I'm going to do the intro right now because she doesn't know this. So today we're visiting with Amy Bolduc from Grounded in Maine podcast and a million other things. And the reason we got to Amy this Independence Day is because my contractor said to me, "Who is the person you would like to talk to most? Who would be the funnest person to talk to?" And I said, "Amy Bolduc." And she said, "Oh, of course", of course it's Amy Bolduc. Welcome to Real Estate Connections podcast where relationships open doors. I'm Mary Forrester and housing is a universal need. We are often thinking about our existing housing, our future housing, that possibly of family members. This is where you're going to hear the issues and the people who are working the issues every day. Please hit subscribe and like if you find this podcast helpful to you. Thank you. We are going to talk today with Amy Bolduc about sustainability. But first she's going to tell us all about sustainability. Amy, welcome to Real Estate Connections podcast today. Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to be here, Mary. I'm such a fan. I've loved your podcast from day one. And I'm just, you know, I'm like, I'm in moving mode in the last couple of years. So your content is very, very interesting to me and helpful. So I'm glad to be here. Great. So Amy, I know everybody says, don't say how did you get started, et cetera, et cetera. But what is sustainability? What grounded in Maine is about sustainability, I believe. If it isn't, correct me. And what is sustainability? And what is the most important aspect to you? Well, sustainability is a huge word. And I ask every guest that I have, what it means to them, because it means something different to everyone. For me, I mean, I think technically the word is like, continuing. And a lot of people have said, being able to continue. And so the state of the world right now, a lot of people have said, I don't want that. Like that's not good enough. We need to do better. And that's why we do this podcast. But for me, a lot of it is like, it depends on the day sometimes, but often it's like, leave the world better than you found it. Like, do the spot that you are taking up, like make that better. And for me, I love food and I love working in the ground. So like, being able to have that space to beautify and nurture is really important for me. And so being able to grow food, to know that I'm eating the healthiest food that I'm able to, and knowing that I have a part in that, and that responsibility is really important to me. So it- I mean, very simply. That is simply. And as I listened to your early podcast, you talked about, you started making jam. I did. Is that when you started to kind of get the interest in talking with other people about sustainability or Maine specifically? Well, I mean, I've been making jam for years. Excuse me, I have a hair. But I've been making jam for years. When I first got, when I first moved in with my, now it's husband, he made fine money. He was self-employed and I worked for companies and I made not a lot of money. So I was like, you know, if I grow the food, it's almost like saving money, right? Like because I don't have to buy that food. And then if I learned to preserve it, that's even better. And then I just, yeah. I mean, I started making jams just because, you know, it was easy because I was afraid and I'm still afraid of a pressure cooker. Oh, I am too. But so a water bath canner, I can do no problem. So jams are easy to do in a water bath canner. And so I did a lot of jams and I made jams for my sister's wedding in 2014 and like for all of their guests. As a favor? As a favor, yeah. So everyone got to take a jar of jam home and the feedback was incredible. But I was like, no, no, I don't, I should not be in business. I'm not a business person. And then 2019, 2020. I mean, early 2020 before COVID started, I was in a car accident in 2019 and was laid out for four months. And so while I was laid up, people were like, you're gonna catch up on Netflix and watch lots of TV shows and stuff. And I was like, no. So I was doing workshops and webinars and stuff like that and just like learning stuff. Somebody said in one of the workshops, like a lot of the things I was doing were like self-help type of thing. And somebody had said a couple of things. So one said, just like life is short. If you're meant to do something, just do it. And then also said, you don't need to know everything before you start. And so I was like, I'm not a business person, but it's kind of nagging at me to do this jam thing. And so I started a jam business and it was the best time to do it because I wasn't going anywhere. I could sit on the phone and wait on hold for an hour and a half for someone to help me with the licensing and stuff for the jam business. And so I launched my jam business in, I started making jam in May of 2020 during COVID. But I was talking to a friend of mine years ago. We were volunteer gardeners at a local farm that grew grows, they're still in operation organic produce just to donate it to food banks. And so we were sitting around and we were working and on the, we were sitting on the ground and weeding and talking about how cool it would be because we were both interested in homesteading, how cool it would be to start a YouTube channel. Like the two of us would have a homesteader come on and talk to us about different skills. And then we would bring it home and try it out and then report back. And that was like, it was really exciting. And then she kind of fell off and I was like, I am not talking on YouTube all by myself. Thank you very much. No. So it was, then I talked. I talked about starting a podcast for a couple of years. And then a friend made an offer that I couldn't refuse. And then Grounded in Maine started in June of 2022. Wow. So four years. Four years. Four years. And consistently, even with a move, even with a move out of state, I was so amazed that you kept Grounded in Maine going. Cause you knew you would head back into at least the New England area at that point, right? When I first moved, I didn't know that, but it was pretty clear soon after. So I got to meet Amy at New England Podcasters and it's a group that's been around for two years now, started by this unbelievable Andy Lyons. And it brings together podcasters who are geographically located in New England. And Amy was here, was still living in Maine at the time and we would convene in Massachusetts. And I got to know Amy. And then she did this unbelievable thing that moved to Virginia. And we want to talk about the move because that's what we, I've been focusing a number of episodes on what are the decisions around moving? What kind of work would be good to do before you do that? And how do you assess whether the move was right for you or not? And if it's not right, what kind of corrective or alternative steps can you, will you take? And Amy, I love the message, life is short. I really love the message. And my audience tends to be midlife, later in life, not always, but the tends to be. And so we are hearing that more and more. We're believing it more and more. That's really it. We just were believing it more and more. The other thing that I really was fascinated is I'm not a business woman. I think every entrepreneur is a business person. I really, really do. And whether or not we like it, and when I became a realtor, I didn't know I had to start a business. I thought it just landed. But there are many wonderful growth opportunities, as we say, in that world. So Amy, will you share with us about your decision to leave the state of Maine? And what went into it, and what you would advise listeners about what you learned? Sure. Well, I mean, I don't know that I learned anything that I wouldn't do again. Just because I'm stubborn. But so, I mean, I ended up getting divorced in 2024. And one of your past guests, Maryette Fry, I had been talking to, so I knew that I was going to have to move after the divorce probably out of state because Maine is very expensive now. And I happened upon Maryette's podcast, and I was following her on Instagram, and she had posted something, and I commented on that. And I don't remember what the post was about or what the comment was about, but she reached out to me. She's like, "Do you wanna hop on a call?" And I was like,"Yeah, okay." And so we were fast friends at that point. And so she talked me through a lot of stuff. And there are a lot of things that, I believe the things that she says, and I think that they're really, really important. She talks a lot about proof of concept, which she did on your podcast. However, as a newly divorced person, not making a lot of money. I can't afford to live somewhere for a month. I also have pets. I have a dog and two cats. And at that time, I had chickens too. So it was not realistic for me to do that. I moved to Virginia because, one, it was far from my life, and I needed some space, but also because I work remotely, but the employer has, it's like a tax presence or something. There's a tax presence in Virginia that there isn't in the Carolinas and even like Southern New York. And I don't understand why all of that, but Virginia was one of those states. And so I moved to Virginia thinking, if I'm gonna be far from everyone, at least I can really focus on gardening and I can grow a food forest and I'll have a longer growing season. So that's great. It just didn't work out that way. So I agree with you. I understand the emotion that sometimes propels us. And Mariette Frye, F-R-E-Y is how she spells her name. We'll put her name in the notes too. Mariette moved 20 times in 24 years. Some of which it sounded like might've been fairly reactive moves, like you're describing in divorce. I too, I did very similar things. So proof of concept, what she says is to, wouldn't you describe what it is? I mean, my understanding is to rent a long-term, get a long-term rental for a month and just test it out. See if you would fit in and make friends and have places where you would be able to go. And just stuff like that. Would you fit into the area? And I should have done that. If I could afford it, I should have done that. And I would recommend it to anyone who could. And same thing happened to me. We were thinking our daughter was, moved to Boston to school. Mom, I'm staying in Boston. And we were thinking North Carolina is where we were headed for our retirement. Mom, if you go to North Carolina, I'm not gonna see you very much. So my Massachusetts roots prevailed. And a dear friend said, go spend a month or two. Well, I was an intense realtor. There was no way I was going anywhere and spending. So the practicality, we even bought our house site on scene, Amy. So I get it. I really, and we sold that house, by the way, within 11 months. So I get it. I get that you get propelled. And it is always easy. I think what Mariette was thinking, okay, I'm living in New York City and I really want to live in the desert. And that's quite a contrast, right? Very much. Yeah. So Maine and Southern Virginia, there's not so much a contrast in the sense of kind of what the economies are and things like that. There's the agrarian world very much down there as well. And so you did it. I did it. Yes. Where I moved to though was very, it was not like Maine, unfortunately. It was very, it was a very, but I spent a couple days there when I went to look at houses and there was one house that I absolutely loved. And I can't remember if I told you this story. Mm-hmm, I haven't heard it. When I came down, I came on a Friday and I left on a Monday. And there was one house that I was looking at. It was on Egg Farm Road. I had chickens, Egg Farm Road's perfect. And if I had gotten that house, I probably would have stayed. But I looked at it, I loved it. My realtor said, it's an old house, Amy. Like, it's probably got problems that are not reported. And so he said, I've got some great houses to show you. So he showed me some other houses. So that was on Friday. That was the day that I got there. And then Saturday afternoon, I was like, I've looked at all these houses, I'm not feeling anything. Like, I can't stop thinking about this house. Can we just put an offer in? And he called and it was already under contract. So, and it was only on the market, maybe two days. And that house actually came back up available July. So it was a year later. I was like, yeah. It was a year later, I want to say, because I was, no, it was a month later. It was a month later. It fell out. It fell out because there were, I guess there were cracks in the foundation. Yes. And so it was not going to go the same type of loan. And so I was, he called me and he told me that. And I was like, put an offer in right now, do it right now. And the people that were under contract found another loan type to do. So they were able to do it. So you didn't get that, the dream house that you want. Yes. And those, exactly. And my sense is you, and as I've talked to you subsequently through the year, the kind of home you're attracted to can be what we call an antique home. But we called it that in Northern Virginia and it was a restaurant in Northern Virginia. Anything, everything was built after 1970 in that area, it seemed. And so everything else was antique. No, there was a definition for antique. And so what comes with it is the risk of all kinds of things, new septic system,$50,000 a new septic system. So when you're on a very limited kind of income and you were just coming out of a marriage, that's very typical. So is it your sense that people who would like to live off the land gravitate toward these old firm houses or these old properties? I feel like maybe, but I think also the older properties come with land. Like as I'm looking at real estate, so many are on just like a few thousand square feet of lot. And there's not a lot you can do with that. And so I feel like, you know, it's not an ideal home, but the property was beautiful. Terrific. It was beautiful and it was such a sweet home. And, but you know, so then I, the house that I ended up buying, I looked at my last day there and it had just gone on the market and it was like 15,000 over what I was approved for. And so, and there was like, there were no like outbuildings at all. It was just a small house on an acre of land. But there was no place for my chickens. And so I, you know, I went a little bit under my approval amount. And, but I also, as soon as I walked in, I said, no, no, I feel nothing for this house. But then a couple of weeks later, no one else had looked at it. And they said that they were probably asking too much. And so they went down and, and then it happened. The best decisions are hindsight, aren't they? In some cases, in some cases. Do you have a house to sell still? I do have a house to sell still. We have got a great listing in Southern Virginia in a beautiful little town and it has new solar panels on the roof and- The electric bill is not even$10 a month, all year round. And they were loved, it was loved. And so Amy's contact information is going to be here on this show notes and feel free to reach out to her, her agent, that would be really, really good. Yes, please. Yeah, so you made a decision that life was short, Amy. I did, I did. I've done it a couple of times. You did it. I did it, yeah. I'm just, you know, doing things the most careful way has not really worked out well for me. And not to say that I'm flying by the seat of my pants, although sometimes I probably am. But I'm also just like, I'm not waiting for things to happen anymore. Yeah, good, really good. I feel the same way. I am practical, considered. And then at the same time, I'm just sure. Just like I was sure I wanted to talk to you, you know, in terms of what our respective podcasts are. Right, I think that, you know, there are a lot of areas where we coincide. Mm-hmm. It really are. And what are you looking for now? What would be your dream right now, Amy? Oh, gosh. You're back in Maine. You're back in Maine. You're renting. Yes, somebody had put an offer on my house back in the beginning of April. It was a 30-day cash offer and it was a reasonable offer. It was a lot under what I was asking, but it was reasonable. So I accepted and then I, you know, I rented a U-Haul, I rented the storage space. Everything was in order. I had 30 days to get out, so I was packing and getting rid of things, and then they backed out. So I, you know, and it was April and in Southern Virginia, it was already, and I mean, this week that we're, this day that we're recording, it's in the hundreds in Southern Virginia. And I don't know how I would handle it. Yeah, it's a hot summer. Some people are okay with that. I am not okay with that. Like, I mean, I'm in Maine and it's supposed to be 90, 92 feels like temp today, and I'm like, I'm holed up in the house. I'm not leaving. And that seems to be, what I'm hearing a lot this weekend, we're in Massachusetts, same temperature, and people are staying in, you know, and not because they don't have air conditioning or they have air conditioning. It's just a different, feels different than it has been. Right, for sure. So what's ideal, Amy? What's the next want? I mean, so there are a couple of things that I'm looking at. So one, our friend, Andy Lyons, she contacted me a few weeks ago and she said, she called me on a Friday. She's like, I'm calling you because I don't want you to wait on this. Because I'm just too excited. So she has a friend who is actually her podcast guest this week, who had a friend who just bought a farm in New Hampshire, and they have a one bedroom apartment, but she did not know this, but, you know, Andy's ears perked up knowing that I'm looking for a place. And so she said, this farm doesn't happen to have an apartment on it, does it? And her friend said, it actually does. And so that would be ideal. I would love that, but I'm second in line. So something would have to fall through, but it's on a 46 acre farm. How far up in New Hampshire? It is near Manchester. Oh yes, that's perfect. Oh, yes. My goodness. Yeah, I went to see it last weekend and it was beautiful. Really nice. People are so nice. Could you farm there? Would you farm? Would you work there? Oh, awesome. Okay, so here's another pitch audience. This beautiful woman wants to farm and is looking for opportunities to farm and to help you farm. So again, reach out, information at Real Estate Connections podcast or Amy, you'll see Amy's Jam Garden. Amy's Garden Jam. Garden Jam at Gmail, right? So we'll see, that'll all be in the links. I'd like to, and I wish you the best of luck and I want you to stay in New England so badly. I really, really do because New England podcasters benefit so much from you and your commitment to our community. And it's a very diverse community and you are committed to it. And I put an episode out, I get a note right away from Amy that she listened to it. You know, and that was really awesome. Yeah. And so there's another option that I've been looking at and just, it's sort of a long shot, but it's also, it could be perfect. So in Western Mass, there is a tiny home, like tiny home, but it's on almost 28 acres of land. And so, you know, my end goal, my ideal goal is to have people around me, like build a community, compound, commune, whatever you want to call it, just people with like-minded people working together to take care of the land and to preserve food and stuff like that. So it would be a great start. It's completely affordable. So that's... You could buy it, you could buy the 20 acres. Excellent. Okay, all right. And then people can add on. Okay. And so I'm gonna be doing some subsequent episodes on tiny homes. Oh. And so we'll, and there are some wonderful people out there into the tiny home world. And there's actually a group called New England Tiny Homes. And they're, that sounds like a franchise organization where they are really expanding on the accessory dwelling unit legislation that's been passed in New Hampshire and here in Massachusetts. And I'm not sure about the rest of New England, but those. Okay, Amy, I'm gonna talk to you about sustainability. Okay. Okay, so we have solar. We have a plug-in hybrid. We've done things at that kind, we've made our decisions at that kind of level. I have a little composting bin that I'm religious in using, but we give usually the compost away to neighbors and stuff. That's boring. My episode coming out next week is on composting. Oh, good, oh, good. Oh, excellent, excellent, excellent. And I'm around a number of people here who've actually, quote, farmed their land. It's not, you know, we have two acres, but they have less than an acre, typically each of them. And they're working it, really working the land. But I have to tell you that when the US went and canceled its accord, you know, the various, you know, ecological accords with the world, I just got so despondent about it, so sense of hopeless. All that work, you know, that Al Gore did, which I thought was very much on the fringe at the time. I was in Washington, very much on the fringe. I'm glad he worked that hard and he kept with his messages, but I'm like everybody else, I don't wanna hear the messages. I don't wanna hear how bad it is, you know? And, but I have to tell you, I'm discouraged. We are replacing our plug-in hybrid with another plug-in hybrid. So we're, you know, we're committed to living as, and we thought about geothermal, where, you know, we're not gonna do it because we're older, but talk to the audience about what, do you have to be perfect at sustainable kind of ecological activities? No, no. And I mean, I know it's a bummer that things have gone backward in some ways, but at least, you know, Al Gore and other voices have been really loud about the necessity of, you know, energy independence, green, you know, all the eco-friendly stuff and green energy, clean energy, stuff like that, because it has gotten through. I mean, I've heard that clean energy has overtaken the fossil fuels in the US and in other places, you know, in spite of things that are happening. Like they can take the support away from it, but we already know, like we've seen it, we know. And so, you know, it's gonna be a lot to get, you know, some backing and a lot of support on a lot of things, but we can't go backward. And that's, you know, it's super frustrating and it's, you know, it can be depressing, but we just have to do the best that we can. And, you know, and the best that we can is just doing something, you know, there are a lot of people, and the reason for the podcast is that, you know, there are some things, just adding the label sustainable adds so much cost. Like there's, you know, solar panels are not a cheap option for a lot of people, but the fact that we have like community solar and we've got solar farms that people can buy into and enjoy some of the benefits of that is, you know, just, we don't all make lots of money. We're in a capitalist system and we are not the 1%, most of us are not. And so we just need to do the best that we can. And, you know, like I said in the beginning, like taking care of my little piece of the earth where I am is doing the best that I can and sharing the message that, you know, that people have, you know, just giving that platform for other people to talk about. But I mean, so my guest on Tuesday, Alexa Pavan, her Instagram handle is gogreenwithalexa, wherever you find her. But I've been following her for at least easily two years, probably three or four on Instagram. She does a lot, a lot of reels. I mean, she, her whole, everything she does is about sustainability. So she, her parents came from Brazil to the United States and they're in South Florida and they had, they owned a snorkeling and diving business. And so she grew up in the ocean and that's, it's something that I have not really thought a lot about. Like, you know, I don't want to send things at the ocean, but just the fact that, because I can't see under the, the top of the water. The reflection, yeah. I just, I can't see what's down there. So I don't think about it. It's like out of sight, out of mind. And so she, you know, she's a diver and she sees all that stuff and she's super passionate about it. But she, you know, she's a copywriter, she's a content creator and she does diving. And she, like in her spare time, she volunteers as a composter and recycler for events, just because she just cares that much. And so, but you know, we all don't have the opportunity to do that, but she does and so she does. And she also uses a composting company, which she's talking about on the podcast. Yes, our town just offered composting services and occasionally you'll see a certain bucket outside. Yes. And then in the olden days, I don't know if you lived in such an area outside of Boston, we would have pails in the ground in some kind of a cement, buried cement holder. And my mother would send me, this is in the fifties and sixties, just outside of Boston. And she would send us out and you would take the garbage, you know, not the trash, but the garbage and you'd step on the lever, raise it up and there are maggots and all kinds of stuff and you'd throw your compost. And then- That's why you're making that face. Yeah, cause I was a kid. And then once a week, a certain truck would come by and that certain truck would collect the compost, what was there, the composting. I don't know what they did with it. It went into Charles River. I don't know, but anyway, but it was a favorite for the dogs to chase. Let me tell you, it smelled in many ways than one. But thank you. I'm gonna listen. I'm gonna listen to Alexa on the composting. Amy, I've just enjoyed learning more about you and your commitment and your passion, but also your vulnerability in terms of sharing your decision-making and how there's that crossover between what is passionate and then what is practical. And you have taken a lot of risks and I honor that. I do honor that. I'm a risk taker at the same time being practical. And so thank you so very much. And do you have any advice? Is there anything that you usually close your podcast with in terms of each responsible? I think that one of the things that, oh, I have lots of things, but I mean, because your podcast is called Real Estate Connections, my mind when I was thinking about what we would talk about was the value of connections and in being vulnerable, letting people know what you're looking for if you're looking for something because you never know. I mean, that whole thing with Andy finding the apartment in New Hampshire, that is so random that somebody said, "Oh, I'm gonna go visit my friend."She just bought a farm." Does that farm happen to have an apartment? Like who would do that? Except a friend that you know, Third level down, it wasn't the best friend. It was somebody, somebody, somebody. A friend of a friend, yeah. But, you know, so if you were looking for something, tell people. Great, and that is the connections. So Real Estate Connections podcast, the subtitle is where relationships open doors. Right, amen. So if not a farm out near Manchester, maybe a tiny home on 20 acres in Western Mass. Okay, best of luck. Amy, I know we're going to be following your journey and do tune into Grounded in Maine, an awesome podcast and fantastic people and a range of people just like the issue of sustainability is a range of issues. Amy, happy 4th of July, keep cool. And we'll see you very soon, I know. Next week. Next week. Thank you, Mary. Thank you so much for joining us today. And I hope you found this conversation useful to you and your Real Estate Bowls. You'll find the contact information for our guests and any links they recommend you have in the show notes. And should we be able to help you identify some strong Real Estate professionals in your area, drop us a note at info at realestakeconnectionspodcast.com. Thanks again and bye for now.(Upbeat Music)