Maybe You're Not “Not Ready;" You’re Avoiding Being Seen

Season 2, Episode 11

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m not ready” when it comes to pursuing something creative, this episode is for you.

In this third installment of the constraint series, I'm unpacking one of the most convincing and socially acceptable reasons we delay our creative work: readiness. It sounds responsible, but often, it’s something else entirely.

Listen in to hear about the different ways “I’m not ready” shows up, from perfectionism to lack of clarity to over-planning, and how these patterns can quietly keep you stuck.

If you’ve been waiting for the “right time,” more clarity, or more confidence, this episode will challenge that thinking and help you move forward anyway.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Hey there, and welcome back to your next chapter, the podcast for women who read, write, and live creatively. I'm your host, Rebecca Hasselak. Today we're continuing with our constraint series, The Biggest Blockers to Creative Expression. And the first week we tackled time, then we tackled money. Today we're tackling something that's a little more internal, and that is readiness. So let's dig in. If you have always wanted to do something in the creative fields, but you keep putting it off, there is a good chance that you're telling yourself, I'm just not ready. And that can sound incredibly convincing because it sounds responsible. It might come off as thoughtful, strategic, or even wise, but most of the time it's not just about actual readiness. It's about fear, perfectionism, or waiting for clarity that only comes through action. So let's get honest and let's talk about why we use readiness as a reason to delay fulfilling our creative dreams. There are different versions of I'm not ready, so let's talk about them. It might sound like I need more time, I need more clarity, I need to improve first, I need to learn more, I need the right idea. And while all of these can be valid, and yes, they can be responsible and they can be strategic or wise, they can also be very effective ways to delay. If you think about it, a lot of the time when we succumb to inordinate amounts of planning, we are actually avoiding. Planning is good. I like to plan, planning can be helpful. Planning feels productive, research feels productive, learning feels productive, and those are all important things in their own ways. But sometimes planning becomes a substitute for doing. Let me hit you with that truth bomb again. Unpopular opinion: sometimes planning becomes a substitute for doing. So ask yourself: am I actually preparing or am I avoiding being seen? A lot of the time we're avoiding being seen because we fear rejection. And that makes so much sense. I mean, it's the age-old thing of if you don't put yourself out there, well, you're never gonna have to fail in front of people. You know, I've I've encountered this in my own life. There's a whole issue of I've told so many people now that I'm writing novels, and a lot of people will check in with me and they'll be like, hey, so how's that going? Can I get your book yet? Is your book published? Do you have an agent? And I have to sit there and I have to have a smile on my face. I mean, I don't have to have a smile, but I do, and I'm just like, you know what? No, it's taken longer than I planned. It's quite the journey. It's a rocky road, you know. I'm honest, but does it feel good necessarily to have people know that this is what I'm trying, this is what I'm going for, and be very honest and open about it, and then also have to admit that yeah, I'm not just instantly being snapped up by an agent. I'm not instantly being published. No, it can be kind of a bitter pill to swallow, but I'm still glad that I'm putting myself out there and that I'm going for it. Because if I had spent all this time just preparing, I wouldn't have written. You know, you have to do the thing in order to get better at the thing. So I know that's a very eloquent quote. You can feel free to quote me on that. So let's talk about perfectionism, because this is a big reason that people say they're not ready. If you want something to be good, you should want something to be good. I'm not calling you out for wanting to have a quality product. Everybody should. Absolutely. That's not the problem. The problem is wanting it to be perfect before it exists. Basically, perfectionism says, don't try it, don't share it yet, don't risk it yet. But you can't improve something that doesn't exist. You'll hear authors talking about just getting the draft done. It can be ugly, it can be horrific, but they just need to get the draft done. And it's true, you can't just sit there and toil away before you're even producing because then you're never going to improve and grow. There's another issue other than perfectionism, which is a lack of clarity. Sometimes people say they're not ready because they don't know what way they want to go. They want to sculpt, but they don't know what they want to sculpt. They want to create films, but they're not really sure what type of film. They want to act, but they don't know are they a serious actor, are they a comedic actor? Where are they gonna fit best? They're just not clear. They might know the general direction or the big picture goal, but they don't know how to pursue it, what their particular avenue will be. So they might think, when I'm clear, I'll start. Once I know my specific lane, I can start. But the truth is that clarity comes from movement. You don't think your way into clarity. You can just kind of act your way into it. And this is not saying you don't research. I've had entire episodes about market research, understanding where you fit in the market. You still need all that. You absolutely do. But I'm talking about using a lack of clarity as a delay tactic because that's ultimately what this is. When you say I'm not ready because I'm not clear, you're delaying. You just need to try. And so much of this is wrapped up in fear. And the fear of being seen is a big part of that. Like what I was saying, like, yeah, is it vulnerable for me to sit there and say, I thought I'd be published by now, and I'm not. It is vulnerable. It doesn't necessarily feel that good. I've written four books, almost five, and I'm still working on it. And it's just a tough industry. And I don't believe it has anything to do with the quality of my work. I believe it's timing, persistence. I believe I will get there. But that doesn't mean that it feels comfortable to have to share that with people. And this holds a lot of people back. The fear of being seen, the fear of judgment, the fear of rejection, the fear of being misunderstood, the fear of not being good enough. So a lot of times people kind of stay in the safe zone of preparation. When I tell people that I have written novels and I am currently writing a novel and I will write more novels, a lot of people will say, that's awesome. I want to write a book too. I'm planning to write a book too. That's the one I hear a lot. I'm planning to write a book too. And you might hear that in your creative pursuit. Someone might be like, I'm also planning to become an amazing baker. I'm planning to become this or that or the other. But so much of the time, those plans never come to fruition because people are too scared to try. They're too scared to fail. They're too scared to tell someone their dreams and have someone laugh at them. I mean, I was even kind of unsure about telling people about my podcast to begin with because I thought people might be like, You have a podcast? Like, I don't know, you just you don't know. But the thing is, it doesn't matter. Ultimately, you have to get over the fear of being seen if you're going to produce anything meaningful. And there are hidden costs of waiting. That's the big problem. If delaying didn't cost you anything, you could delay all you want. That could be your thing. But delaying costs you. You don't just delay the outcome, you also delay growth, feedback, momentum, you delay your confidence. Waiting keeps everything theoretical and prevents you from actually making it happen. If I had waited all this time before putting pen to paper, before committing to my journey, I would not have five, almost five, books under my belt. I would not have had the tremendous growth that I've had. And I would be that much further away from realizing my dreams. I'm that much closer now. And you can be too. So I want you to try to reframe the idea of readiness. You don't become ready and then act. You act. And then that over time creates readiness. It's not a prerequisite, it's the result. So here are some actionable shifts that you can take today. And like I said, I want this constraint series to be very actionable. I hope these tips are very helpful to you. Number one, start before you feel ready. Expect discomfort. That's a part of it. Not a sign to stop. Whatever the thing is that you want to do, start. Just start. Take one step. Make it smaller. Instead of launching something big, like saying, I'm gonna start a business, try writing a business plan. Actually get that part done, and then you can continue to move forward. You can try one post, one page, one class, one attempt. Just lower the stakes and literally set your bar at starting. The next tip you might not like very much, especially if you're stuck in planning purgatory. Set a limit on planning. Give yourself a boundary. You have one week to get your research done. And I don't mean obviously if you need to do a lot of research for a project, like do the research, I'm not saying to skip it. But don't use it as a delay tactic. Give yourself a week or a set number of hours to do the planning part of what you're doing and then move into action and hold yourself accountable to that. The next tip is define good enough. Decide in advance what done looks like. Is it just a first draft that's kind of a mess, but you have the word count? To me, yeah, that would be good. And then I can edit. And as I grow over time and as I do this more, the first draft becomes less of a disaster because I'm growing in my skills. And you can too in your given pursuit. So you have to know when you can consider something done, or else you are going to continue moving the goalpost. That's what perfectionism does. The next thing I would advise you to do is create a bias toward action. When in doubt, do something small instead of thinking more. Sometimes we just get so caught up in our heads, and I do the same thing. And a lot of times we just need to get out of our heads and into our bodies. So whatever your creative outlet is, I invite I advise you and encourage you just to do it. Use your hands, use your body, take a step, act rather than thinking. The next thing is to expect rejection and normalize it. Rejection is not a sign that you weren't ready. Now, I will say yes, if you just kind of throw together a manuscript and it's not quality and you start querying, yeah, you're gonna get rejected, it's not ready. But I'm not talking about being ready to like query agents or pitch musical agents or talent agents or whatever. I'm not saying to just throw caution to the wind and be like, I did it, here it is, world, and then expect great results. What I'm saying is you need to not use readiness as an excuse to once you create, once you have that part done, or at least the first iteration done, then you improve upon it, you prepare it to put it out into the world. And that's that's a different stage that takes a lot of time. And you do need to make sure it's very quality so that you have the best chance of success. But early, you need to just do it and know that rejection will happen. And whether that's rejection in the form of a beta reader saying they don't like your book or they don't like your character, or a sentence you wrote is clunky, or someone saying that your art is kind of cute, or you know, there's just a million ways that people might reject what you're doing and just expect it. And know that that doesn't mean you aren't ready to start, it's just a sign that you're participating. Every single person who has ever created anything in the world of meaning, of value, has been rejected. Probably a lot. So just know that. There's that whole quote about people who aren't in the arena. I don't know. I'm I hate when I think of great quotes and then I can't remember them. You can't criticize those in the arena if you're only watching from the cheap seats or something like that. I want to say it's Brene Brown. Anyway, great quote. You're not going to get critiqued and rejected unless you're actually down in the arena doing the thing. So get down there and know that the rejection is gonna come. And that's okay. You will become more resilient over time. Just because someone has an opinion doesn't make it true, remember that. Use feedback as data, not identity. So separate what you made from who you are. Someone might not like your art, that doesn't mean they don't like you. And even if they don't like you, that's on them. That's their business. So, in closing, I just want to remind you, most people don't fail because they weren't ready. They fail because they never started. The question isn't, am I ready? The question is, am I willing to begin anyway? So I'll leave you with a quick quote from Ann Tyler, which says, If I waited until I felt like writing, I would never write at all. And that's just a great thing to remember. Don't wait till you feel like it. Don't wait till you think it's perfect, don't wait till you think you have all the clarity in the world that you need. Just start. Until next time, I hope you'll keep creating and keep turning the page.