Episode 24 - The All-You-Can-Eat Geriatric Buffet

As Karan navigates his post-vacation return to normal life, he and Matt hash out some important topics and share some hilarious stories in this lively episode. Come on in and listen!

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:18

Somebody slipped in and slipped in some steroids to that intro song again, because I had him under control the last time, but he just he just came bucking out of the gates this time.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Huh? I can't hear. I'm deaf. You speak, you said something, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 0:37

That was loud as hell. That was as louder than hell. I am legally deaf now. But you know, maybe that's part of the uh the charm is just the surprise. We never know what's coming. That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

You know how loud it'll be. One way to keep your listeners entertained is just deafen them from the start. Keeps your audience on its toes.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Keeps them paying attention. You got 10 new listeners, but five new lawsuits, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Damn, that's like uh 50% lawsuit rate. Uh how's your week been, you old rooster?

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Uh the first week back at work after vacation always is like, why am I doing this? Seriously. What is my life?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

What is my life?

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Why am I here? Who am I? What is this?

SPEAKER_03 1:29

Yeah, it's it's not just work, it's like everything, right? I mean when you go on vacation, you uh, you know, that's the best part about going on vacation, is everything is kind of done for you. People, you know, you're you're eating at restaurants, you know, room service is cleaning up after you, so it's like feels great, and then you come home and you're like back to peasant mode where I have to do everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

I know it is it is really tough in all seriousness. I have that same, I have that same issue. I mean, we joke about it, but it's actually it's so uprooting, and that transition is tough. I actually have, I think I have a really tough time with transitioning uh or change, uh, like gear shifting. And when you're when you're on vacation or or even the weekend, like when it's the weekend and you get to relax, I know, you get into that mode and that mode of being uh where you feel safe and you don't have to worry about responsibility. Not just it's not just worrying about responsibilities, it's it's the stress of you know what it is, it's like as you for me, it's like as I go through my week and I do all the little things that I think I have to do and that I'm supposed to do, um my brain gets onto a track of accepting that I'm doing those things. And when I go to the weekend, my brain sort of happily shifts onto a new track of not thinking about those things. And so when I shift back onto that other track to go back into the week, my brain forgets how to accept that that was my life during the week and that that's who I am and what I'm doing and what I've chosen to spend my time doing. Right. It's like during the week, after Monday and Tuesday have gone by, like by middle of the week, I'm totally buying into it again. I'm like, yeah, this is me, this is who I am. Yeah, it's like an identity crisis almost.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Yeah, you're absolutely right. And I'm sure I'm sure like this is probably something that most people have in common. Yeah, like most people have the weekend blues. Like, I think Sunday night is the reflection point where people are like, What do I how can I how can I break free? Or you know, why am I doing what I'm doing? Because like, yeah, the Monday is looming over you with like a you know, with a club ready to just smack you back into work mode.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Well, it's like every choice you every track you're on in life, because you can't do a million different things every other day and expect to get anywhere or make any traction with any one of them. So it's like there's commitment involved in decisions you make, which I think is why a lot of people really struggle with decisions, because let's face it, uh those type of decisions, what path do I want to be on, at least for the foreseeable future? It's kind of a it's kind of a tough one because any path you choose, you will have to forego other paths, at least for the time being. I'm find myself constantly returning to the same sort of head noise questions of who am I and what am I doing and why am I doing what I'm doing? And I, you know, I think things like meditation help to sort of calm that. And I mean, like, let's face it, at the end of the day, it I don't think it's super helpful to spend a lot of mental time and mental energy and time and emotional energy, you know, wrapping your head around those same questions over and over because they sort of distract you from just being present and being able to make actual progress with whatever the fuck you're doing at the time. Right. So it's like, how much is does that mental noise help me? I don't know, like not really. I mean, maybe a little bit, because you do, again, you do have to make intentional choices. You do have to make decisions about just at least vaguely where you think you want to be headed with what you're doing or your life or what you're trying to get good at or whatever it is. So you you do have to have a general sense of direction, but yeah, the head noise gets a little too dense sometimes, and and the questions my head wants to ask itself get too get repetitive to a point where it doesn't feel productive.

SPEAKER_03 6:02

You you're right. Like there's only so much you can kind of delve into those questions because you you do you don't want to like you know put all your mental uh you know stamina into that to thinking about that because you gotta you gotta you gotta actually work and kind of like you know focus on on that for you know for the week. So yeah, it's it can be yeah, it's a tough, it's a tough balance. And you know, I I I mean I like I said, I think a lot of people go through it because you know it's something that you see almost everyone struggle with because um there's a very few people who get to do what they love doing full time for work, you know, and you know, and power to those people. Some of them are born into it, some of them make it happen, but whatever, however they made it happen, however they have it, it's really great for them. But it's something that almost everybody um is struggling with right now, especially with the way things are, like you know, because it's like a lot of the things that people love doing, they they can't financially support themselves doing it.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

So yeah, it's been a weird transitional time for the world where the last ten years it's like there've been whole industries that just have changed or disappeared or aren't even really viable anymore. I mean, you know, it's like just one little example. It's like there was a time when in the arts or in film and music, every project was so compartmentalized into all its different parts, and um, there would be a a specialist for each part, and he made a at bare minimum a living wage from his specialty. You know, like there would be a sound engineer, and it's like, oh, what do we need? Well, we need a sound engineer. All right, let's call up the best sound engineer we know, you know, and labels would work with studios, and then those studios had hired sound engineers. Um, so yeah, it's it's weird because now everybody does everything. So, like you we were just talking about with your brother Krishna. Um, it's like you kind of have to wear a lot of different hats today. You have to be a marketer, you have to be a sound engineer, a uh you have to buy the equipment, you have to um learn to use it. You have to become an expert at like five different things basically in order to really make it in in the arts. Um and and honestly, the only other way would be if you have a lot of money. And that's either gonna yeah, and that's either gonna come from your parents, because it's or or or you're gonna yeah, you're gonna be 40 when you finally get to put your stuff out. Or I don't know, not yeah, just named a random age. It could be younger or older. Um, but you know, I mean, that's kind of been my experience has just been, you know, I didn't um I mean my God, it's cost tens of thousands of dollars to like make my record. And um, and this is not a lamenting, self-pitying uh rant. It's at least it's not supposed to be. It's more so supposed to be a reflection on the times that we are in. I mean, I talked to I recently met someone who works for a record company or a uh well, a publishing, a music publishing. They work for like Warner. Warner. Okay, interesting.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Yeah, Warner Music. That's a pretty big company.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Yeah, huge. And they work for them, but it was interesting picking her brain. I hate that expression, picking her brain. Sounds like I'm Hannibal Lecter with a or something. Um uh but that that got dark. But yeah, like I was asking her questions and she she literally said uh record labels don't send AR people out anymore to to to s to to check out or to examine or new talent. Um they they simply look at the charts. This is literally what she said. I'm not like making this up. They record labels today, they look at the charts, the music charts, they see who is charting, and they try to sign some of them. Um in other words, you're not gonna even have a shot at getting a record deal today unless you're already probably like in the charts. Right? Which means, and and so then the next question is well, how do you get in the charts? Well, you have to release a professional radio sounding, radio ready, professionally produced, mixed, and mastered album. Oh, well, what does that cost? You know, fifty thousand dollars, maybe a hundred thousand, maybe thirty if you're lucky, maybe thirty thirty grand if you're like really conservative. And it's like that's a lot of money, like for most people. Um, and the and you know, it's like uh so you know, Rick Biotto actually recently did a whole video about this.

SPEAKER_03 10:56

I was just gonna say, like, when you see that when you were talking telling me about all this, I was just gonna say I saw a Rick Beato video where he says, uh, you know, something like I think the topic was are only rich people becoming musicians these days? Like, because that was I think I think something like that. That was the uh name of the video. And in it, he was basically saying the same thing that you said, which is that to become a musician these days, you know, you need all this stuff, you know, and you need to like, you know, basically have the money to either pay for it or you have to do it all yourself. Um, because yeah, record companies are no longer in you know, just finding like people who they believe in and saying, here's a whole bunch of money, go out and do what you do. No, because back back in the day they would do that, they would maybe pick like 10 potential people who had, you know, they saw had potential, they would fund them, and even if two or three of them hit made it somewhat big, they would make their money back. Um, you know, that's that's how that's how they would do it. That's how that's how movies work too. That's how movies used to work. They used to they used to have a slate and they would say, like, we're gonna fund these ten movies, even if one or two of them get big, we'll still make our up our losses for the other eight and then more, and then some more.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

100%. On a positive note about this topic, because it can be depressing for creatives and artists who who want to try to make it, because I don't I'm definitely not wanting, I'm definitely not wanting to send a message of of doom and gloom. I don't I don't believe that it has to be doom and gloom. I will say Rick Biotto's video about it, yeah, it was a little doom and gloom. Like it was a little depressing, but it was also just him being as honest as he was able to be. But but I what I will point out though, just to lean towards the positive side that I do see um a couple things about it. One, Rick Biotto in that video about how only rich kids can make it today, he also did say that the problem with a lot of these young, rich kids, because everybody wants to get famous when you're super young, like James Dean. That's what we all want. We don't want to wait. We don't want to wait for anything. We want to now. Right. So these young kids who are have rich, rich, not just rich parents, but rich and supportive of their art parents. Yeah. You can have rich parents, they might just not care about you or what you're doing. Yeah, that's a possibility. My dad's a doctor. I've said it before on this show. I didn't get it any support from him to speak of for my like artistic journey. So it's possible to have well-off parents who don't want to help you. Um, so specifically kids who have and I'm not saying my dad didn't help me in life or didn't help me pay for college, which he uh he did, uh, or other things. But specific to the but specifically this career choice of mine to go into the arts, yeah, my parents not super supportive, especially my dad. Yeah. So, but there are kids, and I've met a couple of them who have these rich parents, actually richer than mine, to be honest, who just give them whatever they need. I know.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

They're really invested in like Yeah, you need 20 grand?

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Oh, oh, the the sound engineer at the studio you want to hire wants 20 grand? Okay, how do I wire it to him? It's like that. Um, I mean, that's not most people's story though, and that's kind of the point of Rick Beatto's video is not everybody has that situation to fall on uh back on, uh or to launch them when they're so but the on uh again to lean on a positive note, Rick Beatto in his video, he did say that what he's noticed is that a lot of these young, rich kids, and by the way, not I'm not saying all artists who make it today are young, rich kids. That that's not the case. But I think a lot of them are, at least according to Rick Beatto, and economically it does make sense that they would be. Yeah, because it's damn expensive to do this stuff. But what he did say is that a lot of them don't have a voice. Like a lot of them don't have anything worth singing about because they haven't really gone through life yet, because one, they're really young, but on top of being really young, they've had a pretty sheltered, cushy, wealthy life. Yeah, and they don't really have much interesting to say, and they haven't fully formed as a human being yet. So, you know, it's if you don't really have any conflicts or things working against you in life, it's kind of tough to write songs.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Yeah, it goes back to the source of the art kind of thing. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

Yeah. I mean, like what are you gonna say? I mean, I guess I mean I guess if it's rap music, uh most of all what all they do is brag about things. So I guess if you're at least in a lot of rap, so if you if you have a lot of money, I guess just brag about it.

SPEAKER_03 15:50

But yeah, I guess certain certain genres benefit. But yeah, I mean, I guess if you because I mean, but you know, it's it's also like you might if you have a good producer, you know, you might have like a catchy beat, then you might go somewhere, but you know, you may not have staying power.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Uh you probably won't have staying power, but but the so that was a positive note because that gives hope to the people who are in the toil and the and the and have the trial of uh trying to scrape together the money or save the money or spend the years honing their craft and don't I mean look, let's face it, it can be it can backfire if you have someone handing you money. I mean, to be honest with you, uh when I was really young and sort of just starting out, if someone had just handed me a bunch of money, I don't think it would have gone to like really great use. I don't think I would have known exactly how to allocate those funds or where to spend it. Uh so you know, there you gain not only a voice as an artist and a songwriter as you age, but you also and you gain stories and life experience and perspective. Um, I mean, when you're like a really young artist, you almost have to kind of fake some of those things because you almost don't you kind of don't really have them yet. Um, and I I feel like a a lot of times artists who get really big from songs they write when they're really young, they're almost kind of in a character. Like they're almost they they have to almost kind of build a character for themselves because it doesn't exist yet.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Because they haven't lived enough life yet. So being older, you have that advantage of experience and stories and wisdom and and stuff, but you also have um you've learned a lot more about your craft, you know how to allocate those funds. If you know, when you do get money to do what you need to do, you'll you'll know what to do with it and and you'll be making those calls more intelligently than probably you would have at 20 years old. Yeah. I mean, so what I would say to young artists is just, you know, if you're 20 years old and you're like, I want to be, I wanna make it, you know, um, there's no reason for you to lose hope or to give up on it or anything. More so, just be aware that you will have to come up with that money somehow at some point to record your stuff. So you're either gonna have to try to figure out a way to record stuff in a really cheap way, or if that's not gonna do it for you, then you'll have to come up with the money. And um, there's ways to do that. You could take out a credit card. I mean, a lot of people would discourage that, but hey, if it's your only option, I mean, that's essentially what record labels were doing. They were giving people a l a line of credit. I mean, they weren't just handing them free money, they would give them a large advance to make their record, but that band would still have to pay back that money over time from their earn their future earnings. Um, not to mention the label would own the songs usually the recordings usually. So the band couldn't even hold on to those. So uh you're gonna avoid all those legal battles, you're gonna own your stuff, you're gonna self-finance it. So, yeah, taking out a credit card, you know, for 10 or 20 grand to record your EP, guess what? That's not that different than what a record label would be doing for you, except that you're beholden to the credit card company, not to a label. But uh anyway, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

But another thing though is if you if you really like an artist and you, you know, they can you connect with them, uh, don't ever fall for that thing that people are like, oh my god, yeah, he he went out to LA, he met one person, he got really famous, or like, oh yeah, they recorded one song right out of college and got really famous. Yeah, don't believe that shit. If you really like somebody, go look them up and read look them up on Wikipedia or wherever and just look at their story. Most of the time, it's a long, long process to get where they did. Yeah, like it's like they started, they failed, they they they had they had bandmates who who came and went, record labels that fell apart, like all kinds of things they they went through before they actually eventually got there. So, like, probably if you're a young artist who wants to get started, the best thing you can do is just get started. Like, don't even don't don't even think about it too much. Because yeah, there's gonna be a lot of ifs and buts and you know this and that, but you know, you can't predict everything, there's too many variables out there, especially with art, you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

And it's absolutely ridiculous to allow yourself to get discouraged by, like, for example, what one person might have said or might say. Yeah, because one, whoever is speaking in that tone is not the expert they think they are, because if they were, they wouldn't be discouraging. That's coming from their own insecurity, and if they're insecure, then they don't have all the answers either. So don't get discouraged, especially by just what one person might have said, yeah, and um just develop your own sense of taste and your own compass because I really don't personally believe you can fake it uh in terms of faking what kind of art brings you joy or what you're genuinely inspired to do. I don't think you can sort of mastermind it. I mean, to some extent, yes, but like I don't think you can be something that you are not. So, like, I mean, and people might say, well, what about the people who write those pop catchy pop songs that get huge? Yeah, because that's because they love those songs. That's because they want to do that. They like writing bubblegum pop songs. Yeah, and and that's great for them. And maybe they're good at it, you know. But if you don't like that, then don't do that. It's not gonna work for you type thing.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

No, yeah, it's it's don't it's the worst thing you can do is try to fake something. Plus, like a lot of those bubblegum pop songs usually have a lot of writers behind them.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

These days, yeah, especially these days.

SPEAKER_03 21:56

But oh my god, there'll be like 12 writers. I know. I was surprised. Like, I think um there's ridiculous. There's I'm sure you heard that Bruno Mars song Apathe, whatever, it's very famous. Um, my daughter loves it because it's it's a fun song.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Is it an old is it an old song or is it no?

SPEAKER_03 22:12

I mean, I think old by by depends who you have. Um, relatively like I think it's like maybe one year old or something, or oh maybe two years old.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

I don't know if I know it.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

It's really like uh it's really, really famous. Uh do you like it? I think the kids like it. Yeah, I I think it's okay. I mean, it's yeah, way too poppy for me. But you know, she I like that she likes it and I enjoy it because she likes it. But um Rig Biarro covered it because he was like he was like um uh listening to the songs that yeah, it was he he it was uh it was one of those videos where it was like listening to the songs that were nominated for the Grammys or something. I I like watching that stuff because I'm like you know, I'm always like, yeah, let's listen to some new music and and mo most of what Rig Biarro likes, I kind of like too. So I was like, let's see what he what he's recommending or what he's listening to or what he thinks about it. And yeah, he said like that song Apate, he's like, it has like Apate, what's it called? I just seven it's just APT. Bruno Mars featuring Rose, but it's it's pronounced Apate.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

It's like is that an acronym? No, Apito.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

I don't know. It's uh I think she's Korean or Japanese. I'm really sorry. I don't want to uh general. I think just that term is uh language. I really don't know enough about that. That's okay. If you love apate and are you and you're cringing right now, I'm really sorry. I don't know much about this. How dare he besmirch apate? Oh cancel, cancel it.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Maybe you can order it at a pho restaurant. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

Maybe it's like an apate, please.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Yeah, but wait, so you so you showed it to Zoe and she like really liked it. I didn't show it to her.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

She just she was like came home one day and at her daycare they have like dance parties. So you played over there, yeah. So it's and she really liked it. Oh god, I know they they they like they danced to like a bunch of songs, like Barbie, uh, you know, I'm a Barbie girl all over the world.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

I do like that song, by the way. Oh, yeah, I'm a Barbie girl. That's a great song. Yeah, that's a good catch, yeah. Aqua that's a good song. That's a that's a damn catchy melody.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

It's has staying power, it was big when I was like in India, it was huge in the 90s in India. It was huge.

SPEAKER_01 24:25

Oh, yeah, it was huge here too.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

Yeah, and like look at it 30 years later, it's still relevant. Like, people are still like, you know, listening to it.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

When we lived in Koreatown together, you were snoozing your, you know, like your like mouth was hanging open. I think you were snoring. And I were Mega and I were like, hey, let's try this thing, let's do this prank on him. We put headphones on your head and we just started blasting I'm a Barbie girl by Aqua. And you slept through a good portion of it. I don't, and matter of fact, I don't think you ever woke up. I think we had to wake you up and be like I woke up, yeah. It probably worked its way into my dream. It happened. I think I remember you saying something like when you came to, you said something like, I thought it was part of a dream I was having.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

So funny.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

Oh ridiculous. So I still fall asleep sometimes to um to like music, you know, or like to uh watching a show. Uh so I think my brain is just very good at tuning it out for the most part. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

So that's really funny. I do you talk in your sleep?

SPEAKER_03 25:32

No, I know, and I know you do.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

I do.

SPEAKER_03 25:35

You're scared. That has scared the hell out of me sometimes. She will tell you that.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Because sometimes I'll like uh I'll sort of have a vague memory the next day of her being a little mad at me or or laughing or having some kind of reaction, and I don't know why she did that. And then she'll tell me, Oh, you were talking in your sleep or something. But just the other night, a couple nights ago, according to her, I uh said in the middle of the night, I prefer tropical plants over other plants. During what phases are we? Yeah, I was like, I prefer tropical plants, that's what I prefer, and I was like very specific about that. So, yes, I talk in my sleep. It's confirmed.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

It it's really so yeah. There was one time I was used we were in Korea Town where you're sleeping in you sleep in the living room, and I and I was on the way to the yeah, on the way to the bathroom. It was dark, and you I don't know, you said something like how'd you get there? And I was scared, jumped out of my skin. I jumped out of my skin. I was like, what the hell? Because it was dark and I was half asleep.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

I was like, what the hell was that? It's like I know, like sometimes it's uh borderline creepy.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Speaking, speaking about about relaxing, listening to stuff, going to sleep. I have a question for you which has bothered me. You know, Matt and me, we we we we are we have a lot of things in common in terms of what we like, what we don't like, movies, music, stuff like that. But one thing that he likes that I've never been able to get into is uh ASMR. Oh nice.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

I'm glad you brought that up because I sent you a video the other day.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

Yeah, so you saw that I a little bit, yeah. And and this is like I I can I'm gonna uh my wife also likes not likes, but she also watches some kind of ASMR. But before I get to that, I kind of want to ask you like, what is it about it that you like so much?

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Well, um, I find it really soothing and relaxing. I mean, it's like the rest of the world melts away and it's just this soothing voice. I mean, it's a sense of personal attention. I get the same feeling when I go to the hospital or the doctor. I I like going to the doctor because they sort of give you personal care and attention. And I think I'm not always great about scheduling the time, making the time in my schedule for like self-care or for sort of pampering myself. Like I just don't do that, or at least I don't plan for it. Right. And what I love about appointments, it feels like an appointment to take care of myself, where other people are like really care about me and they're being really nice to me and they're saying nice things. And so there are some ASMR videos literally call called like confidence boosting ASMR, where they'll literally give you compliments. I guess maybe some people are starved for compliments, or at least feel like they are, or just want to feel loved and reassured. Not that I'm not loved, but uh, but it's I mean, hey, the more love the better. Yeah. And you know, it's just very comforting to me. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

I I kind of know what you mean about that. It's like you it is like uh, you know, it's I feel like it's the same reason some people get massages or you know, um go to like get their hair done, uh nails done, stuff like that. It's just like for a small moment of time you're you're given a lot of attention and care. Yeah, it's it feels kind of like you know, intimate and personal, but not in like a in like a sexual way or anything. It just feels kind of like relaxing and calming.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Um there is a slight kind of cringe factor to it um where it almost makes you uncomfortable or on the verge of being uncomfortable or feeling awkward, but for me it's like it's a game of how close it gets to the edge while then pulling it back, and it like never goes over the edge of being like too uncomfortable. I think that's kind of where the tingles come from. It's like a sense of someone's talking to you in a way that maybe they're not supposed to, or that is out of the ordinary, especially that a stranger would not normally speak to you in this way, right? But that's kind of where the tingles come from for me because it's sort of a strange experience that's out of the ordinary. Um, and and I do like things that are sort of strange or out of the ordinary, especially when they're unplanned um or spontaneous, which is why I like awkward interviews. It's kind of like curb your enthusiasm the way that show has so many awkward scenarios, right? And and but it it packages it in such a way where the average person can enjoy the secondhand awkwardness and just feel relieved that they're not physically actually there. I think there's almost a little bit of that with ASMR for me that you know, this it feels like this stranger is talking to me and saying these awkward things, but I also know that they're not there. And there's that part of my brain that knows we are physically separate, uh, which keeps me safe from actually having to have the obligation of responding to the awkwardness.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

So, like for example, if I'm in, like there's nothing I hate more than awkwardness if I'm in the situation with the person, like someone like Mac, you know, like I remember one time because he was the most awkward kid you'll ever meet in your life, almost.

SPEAKER_03 31:12

Mac? Oh, yeah, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Our code name for the friend we had. Um or the friend I had that you indulged. You know, it's like Mac would say things at parties or in front of other people that you just aren't allowed to say or aren't supposed to say that should never be said, but he would just say them as if that was totally okay. Right. And I mean, I was definitely entertained by it, but it also was super uncomfortable and awkward. I mean, there were times I would be in situations with that guy, I felt like I could cut the awkwardness in the air with a knife and it would bleed. Yeah, like that's how thick the awkwardness was with him, but he was impervious to it, he couldn't feel it. Yeah, like he didn't know it was there. He was oblivious to the fact that he had just created a toxically awkward scenario. So that was his superpower, or perhaps his super downfall. Uh maybe both. Maybe, yeah. But uh, so I think with ASMR, it's kind of nice because these strangers come on my sc come on the screen and they just they just say and do these strange things. But you don't have to feel you don't have to worry about it because it's just a recording. They're not there, they're not actually.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

They're not actually there, they're not actually in front of you. But it to be to put it into context, it's like you're listening to these guys through headphones and they're using these really specialized mics that captures the sound. Um, really water pouring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you hear it really, really clear. And by the way, it's not limited to people like you know, doing yeah, I can I can hear that by the way. It's kind of nice. Yeah, it is. Make me want to be, but it's nice. It's kidding. That's funny. Yeah, but like, you know, it's um that's one form of ASMR, but I I have seen other forms of it too. Like, I my daughter watches a form of ASMR. She watches these toy unboxing videos, you know, where like you don't see the person, you only see like their point of view. It's usually uh a woman with really long nails, and she's like unboxing like these like play-doh toys, and she's like tapping them, you know, like as she opens them, popping them. And like, you know, I'm just like and and and my daughter's watching and she likes it. She's like, this is you know, she's just she's three, she doesn't she's you know, she doesn't totally like explain why she likes it, but she just does. So funny. Yeah, I think there's something there, you know.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

Um, yeah, there definitely is. I mean, ASMR became such a huge thing, and it did. I mean, it's so it's everywhere, and in on YouTube, there's so much of it.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

By the way, ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response, which is quite a quite a word.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Um I think we all have a need for intimacy, and it's tapping into that. And I think it just becomes a question of what context people can accept intimacy in. Right. Let me ask you this have you ever been at the barber? The barber sort of leans in to snip a hair on the back of your head, and you almost can hear their breath in your ear, and you kind of they kind of have a nice soothing voice, maybe, or maybe they're just friendly, and it almost gives you like a tingly feeling of like comfort. Uh do you kind of know what I'm talking about at all?

SPEAKER_03 34:27

Yes, uh with barbers I've had out here, especially like yeah, like in college when I saw it or a dentist. Yeah, because you know, and now now here's the other one. There are, and this was something that I found I didn't know what to make of it, but there are ASMR videos of people eating that I don't like those.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

I know, like those those make me really angry and uncomfortable. I get mad.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

It's so funny that they exist and it's just a different form of it, but yeah, they call it mukbang.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Mukbang? That's what it's called. I think it's called mukbang. It's like people people film themselves with these. Like eating, like and just it's disgusting. I hate it. Yeah, I don't like that.

SPEAKER_03 35:15

I mean it's yeah, because like uh that one I don't think is as it's it's kind of got like a more niche following, but it does have a following. It does have there are a lot of people who do it, and it's usually like foods that make sounds like fried chicken or like noodles, you know, like oh yeah, yeah, which yeah, slurping a noodle.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Yeah, I I don't yeah, that stuff grosses me out. I don't like people eating. I don't I I I I I'm so glad I can't see myself when I eat. I don't like watching I don't like watching people eat. It's like watching a cow chewing and ch and just their jaw moving and their lips and it's always been kind of disgusting to me. Like even when I was a little little kid, if we had guests, if we had guests over who had like babies, because they're so messy and gross, but especially babies because they'll like spit the spinach back up out of their mouth, you know, you know, over and over, it's so I I couldn't watch it. It would turn my stomach so that I didn't want to eat and I would lose my appetite. So even as a even as a young kid of like 10 years old, or uh, I would build a fort around me of cereal boxes when I when I ate when I had to eat at the table with other kids so that I couldn't see them eating. That's so funny. Yeah, I really hated it. I also hated watching really old people eat. Like if I I mean I couldn't go into a nursing home or something, or like my grandpa really likes going to this buffet. I hated buffets. I still am a little on the edge with buffets. I don't know what to think of them, but depends on the buffet. But I my grandpa just loved this buffet called, like, you know, the Golden Corral Mount Mountain Home Buffet or something like that. And it would just draw all these geriatric oldies from all around the land, like 75 year olds and up. It was all these it looked like a nursing home in this restaurant, basically, except for like me and maybe one or two other kids. Yeah, and I would just go in there and it was just people taking their dentures out first, putting it in their napkin. You know, it was just just it was it was tough. I hated that place.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

Yeah, what is up with old people and these buffets? Like there was that was one thing that I um I noticed too when I came here, because um, yeah, we don't we don't have really like buffets. Um, I mean we do, but they're not as popular back home. So when I came here and I would go to like country, because like yeah, yeah, I would go to country kitchen buffet, and yeah, I would see a lot of old people over there.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Yeah, you know, you know what I I this is what I think it is. I think they've lost a lot of their taste at that age. I just don't think they require food to be overly flavorful. They're like, it's a bargain, you can get four plates for forty dollars, you know, and they'll just load up with all this, yeah, you know, usually relatively tasteless food, but they don't care because it's like they can barely taste it anyway. So they're like, you know. Right, yeah, makes sense actually.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

There's definitely some allure between like buffets and old people. I think there was even a South Park episode about it. Pretty indicating.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

Totally. I had an interesting experience earlier this week. A uh uh I don't really like sports or at least like organized team sports. I don't follow them, but I don't watch sports, like I don't care, and that puts me in a minority of men. Uh you know, uh it's all there's always been a barricade between me and like getting close to 92% of the male population because of my lack of interest in professional sports leagues.

SPEAKER_02 38:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Karen, do you care about like do you watch sports?

SPEAKER_03 39:00

I mean, yeah, I I used to watch, I used to play sports, I used to watch a lot of sports.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Didn't you play rugby?

SPEAKER_03 39:06

I yeah, in in college and then in school, I used to play a lot. I used to play soccer and then cricket. Um, yeah, so I I enjoyed iSports, but yeah, these um watching sports, yeah, I I'm not as into it. Um I I like it more as a social thing. Like if there are a lot of people watching, like a bunch of friends watching, I'd definitely watch it. And you know, I I like that aspect of it, the social aspect of it. But if you had to take a survey and compare, I probably don't watch as much sports as most guys do. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Yeah, I mean, there's just some people who they're on their couch watching sports every weekend and they're they can't miss this or that game. They know all the statistics and they play fantasy football. It's just to me, it's kind of lame. Um, because it's like you're not gonna make more money when that guy scores. Like you're not benefiting in any it's not gonna change your life whether that team wins or not. It's just in your mind. Yeah. And and and but they identify the worth of their entire city that they're from based on how well a team does. Yeah. And the it like the the the success of their town that they're from in their mind, like hinges on whether you know, Tom Brady makes a touchdown, whatever it is. Right. And I just don't understand that mentality. And in the past, there's been times I tried to get into it when I was in Boston where people are obsessed with their teams. Yeah. I tried to get into the Celtics. I, you know, because Mac was obsessed with the Celtics and other people I knew were too.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

We went and saw the Bruins game with Mac. I remember that. It was amazing, it was a lot of fun. Like that that's the part about sports that I like, the celebration of things. That's that I like that part of it.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

Yes, that was fun. There were people climbing up on rooftops and yelling with excitement because they they Bruins won the Stanley Cup and stuff. Yeah, that was a cool experience. I guess I don't totally get it. I'll play a sport, but I don't get being obsessed with a team. Maybe they're betting on it, so money is on it for them. I don't know. Yeah, so recently, like this past week, this girl who was from Chicago, she Chicago. Yeah, Chicago. Duh Bears. And she was, I think she was talking about the Cubs. That's a Chicago team, right? Yes, yeah. Cubs win. Oh, yeah. Was that what Harry Carey? Yes. Yeah. Cubs win.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Cubs win. Yeah. I remember going into a box of cracker jacks as a kid. Yeah, you never knew what you were gonna find in there. Harry Carey.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

Watch the Harry Carey SNL skit, you won't be disappointed. It's got Bill Farrell as Harry Carey and Jeff Goldblum as a very confused.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

My wife doesn't know where I am.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

Yeah. Yeah, like so. That's the Cubs. Okay, so she was talking about the Cubs. Okay. Cubs win. And she was talking about the Cubs, and she was like, um, uh, and she was like, Are you really into the Ravens? Because you said that because I said I'm from Baltimore. When I tell people I'm from Maryland, that's the first thing a lot of people ask is like, Oh, are you really into the Ravens? I'll be honest with you. Usually what I'll do, I'll placate them and I'll be like, Yeah, you know, it's a great team. I don't, I don't, I I haven't kept up with them lately, you know, and I don't know exactly what they're doing, and I I don't always follow football, but yeah, I mean, you know, you gotta love the Ravens.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

They're like the biggest team out in from Baltimore.

SPEAKER_01 42:48

Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, they have the Orioles from Baltimore, yeah, right. Right, but you know, so they'll ask about those teams, and this girl was like, Oh, so you really love the are you a Ravens guy? For the first time, maybe in my whole life, I answered really honestly, because I thought to myself, what is it, illegal for me to be honest about it? Am I not allowed to say what I need to say? Yeah, so I was like, you know, to to be honest with you, I just don't really care about sports. I don't watch sports. I I never really have watched sports, I don't keep up with it. I just it's not my thing. Yeah, and I I felt kind of good about it, you know, because I was like, wow, it feels good to just kind of express yourself, you know. Be straight. Yeah, be straight. I mean, because why shouldn't I? Right? So then she follows that up with uh something along the lines of oh, really? Huh? That's that's kind of gay. She said, That's a little gay. I'm serious. She she like basically accused me of being gay because I don't watch team sports. Right. And and so that right there, I'm going back to Lying about it, first of all. But I mean, what that right there shows you is a couple things. One, people really do have this stigma that like men have to be into sports. And if you're not, there's near not completely a man. You're not fully a man.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

I I mean, you know, the I have seen like women and girls go the other way where they're like, they don't like guys who are really into sports and stuff. They find it kind of annoying. Um so I think it's like definitely.

SPEAKER_01 44:34

Well, I wanted to say to her, like, hey, do you like have you ever heard music before? Do you like music? Are there any bands or musicians that you've ever heard? And she'll be like, yeah. And then I'd be like, okay, well, so chances are they probably didn't give a fuck about sports either. Because they're musicians and they're spending their days playing guitar. I mean, yeah, there are musicians who are into sports, but it's like it's like, bitch, I don't care about sports. I don't know what to tell you. I I'm just more into other things. And I mean, when I was more to the world than more to the world than your sports teams that you follow, believe it or not.

SPEAKER_03 45:11

There's such there is this very, very strong sports culture in the United States. I mean, there are literally like there are people who who define their personality based on their sports teams, you know.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:23

It's huge, you know. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Yeah, and they'll get angry at you if you don't know about it.

SPEAKER_03 45:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I saw when I was in Boston. I was yeah, everybody was everybody, yeah. It's such a part of that city. Not to say that it's bad, it's just you know, it's just something that is um definitely very prominent in certain cities, especially.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Totally. Uh I I just want to say one more positive note, just hearkening back to what we talked about when we first started this episode about um being an artist or having dreams or things. Um uh I wanted to say uh don't ever give up on something that is meaningful to you no matter what, and know that success will come to you. It might not be when you want it, it might not be exactly like you th thought it would look. Right. Um, but it will come when it's time or when you're ready for it. And that might not be when you want to think you're ready for it, or when you want it, but it's not all on your clock. But don't don't give up on something that's meaningful to you because just having something meaningful that you do, or something you believe in, or something that you're pursuing makes your life so much richer and more meaningful, not only to you, but to anybody who knows you or is in your orbit. And so it's a hundred percent worth it, even just absent of the obsession about the results of whatever may come. So it may or may not look exactly like you planned or imagined, but the fact that you're continuing along uh adds so much meaning to your life and makes makes you an inspiring and encouraging person for others around you. Um and it's more important than the outcome. It's more important than the outcome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:09

Absolutely. That's Vel said. Yeah, it's yeah, it's there's a there's a glory to doing this. It's uh it can be a silent glory for the longest time, but you know, take comfort in knowing that you're being brave when you pursue something like this.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

Um you have the integrity, you're honoring something inside of you.

SPEAKER_03 47:32

Inside of you. And it's not always easy, it's not I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it's gonna be easy, but like at least at the end of everything, you'll know you at least gave it a shot. Yeah, and you'll know what most people can say.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Total absolutely, and you'll know that you that you lived your life in the most meaningful way that you could so that you won't have regrets.

SPEAKER_03 47:55

Yes. Yeah, anyway. Nice. That's a good note to land on. But yeah, thanks a lot for stopping by, guys. Alright, guys. Have a good week. Bye. Bye.