Ask Allison

Ep. 2 - From Galas To Good: Rethinking Nonprofit Events

• Allison McElroy • Episode 2

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The room goes quiet, the story lands, tears well up—and then the program shifts and the moment to give disappears. If you’ve ever watched donations evaporate in a 30-second transition, this conversation will feel like a masterclass in what to fix and how to do it fast.

I sit down with 3W Magazine founder Kasie Yokley to unpack the playbook that helped Northwest Arkansas stop stepping on its own toes. Years ago, galas stacked up on the same night, sponsors were stretched thin, and donors had to choose. Kasie's answer was deceptively simple: build a charitable events registry that lets nonprofits see each other, coordinate dates, and plan with confidence. That single system turned competition into collaboration and raised the bar for fundraising across Benton and Washington counties.

We get into the details that leaders rarely say out loud. Why “black tie optional” wrecks your photos and brand. Why bloated auctions should shrink to two or three experiences. Why smaller, intimate events with higher tickets and strong themes win hearts and wallets. And most importantly, how to design the moment of impact: tell the mission story, then ask clearly, with pledge cards and QR codes ready—plus a monthly giving option that compounds support without burdening donors.

You’ll hear practical tactics for better ROI—counting staff time, investing in AV so your message carries, choosing flexible venues that allow donated F&B, and sending concise, bullet-point follow ups that show results fast. We also make a case for balance: one signature event to build awareness, and a second, low-lift touchpoint where donors see programs up close, offer input, and feel like true partners.

If you plan events, sit on a board, or just want your giving to matter more, this is your permission slip to simplify, clarify, and be brave. Subscribe, share with your team, and leave a review with your best event idea or biggest pet peeve—we’ll feature our favorites in a future episode.

Meet Casey Yokley And 3W

SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to the episode two of the Ask Allison podcast. I'm Allison McElroy, a certified fundraising executive located in Northwest Arkansas, who loves helping people reach big goals. I mix heart, humor, and my experience to lift others up. And thank you so much for listening today.

SPEAKER_01

I am so glad you're here. And today's guest makes me even more excited. It's the one and only amazing Casey Yokley. Casey is the founder of 3W Magazine.

SPEAKER_00

And Casey, before we talk about 3W magazine, we're going to go back to the vault. We're going to go way back and tell us, tell us your transition from youth to adulthood. Like at that moment in time, you know, when we were all growing up, what did you envision for your future?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you want to know what my dream job is? Yeah. My dream job has always been to be a Charlie's angel. Nothing. Yes. I just pose. The poses. I've always done the pose. Any badass chick running in heels and like awesome leather pants and kicking the bad guy's butt, I was all into. Um, I was always Brie. Um do which do you know which one you like? Because my kids all had blonde hair, so they were like uh Chris and you know, Vera Fawcett. Well, yeah, but those are the OG angels. Oh, you're in the different, oh my goodness, you're in a different but I love those angels, but I was just on the cusp because aren't they 70s angels? Yes. Okay, it was I'll be the 70s angel. Okay. I was Brie. I am the 2000s angel, like the Drew Berry more Lucy Lou, Cameron Diaz. Yes. I don't think I could pick one, so I just kind of make them all into one. Okay, but I did dig Cameron Diaz's like outfits. Yeah. So I guess I'd gravitate towards her, but I'm obviously not blonde. Basically, children, we figured out that Allison is in the 70s decade of the of the angels, and Casey's in another decade of the angels. But we're not often age. We're not often age. No, we're just representing all the angels. So there you have that. Yes, yes. So was that really like you really thought I'm gonna someday push crime and just no, I just it's just my dream job, you know? And you're like, what do I wanna? What? What's my dream job that's not real? Yeah, no, I probably always wanted to uh design clothes. Okay, fashion, yeah. We and you're so good at it. I am so amazing, not at all. You always I got a minor in it, uh-huh, but I was like, I don't want to sew, and it was a little more challenging than I wanted it to be. So I was like, I'm done. So I just got a minor in it, and my parents were like, You're not gonna get a sewing degree, you're gonna get a business degree. So I got a business degree, and I got the most creative business degree I could, which was marketing. I love it because I look back and you know, I went, you have a journalism. I went to be, you know, radio television, which right now, boys and girls, I'm getting to do a podcast. Yes, we are like on brand. Setting me on fire and you know, using my abilities as my journalism background or radio television. But um, but I took one thought of okay, I'm newly married in a new town. I know no one.

SPEAKER_00

Am I really gonna go and try to get a job at you know, overnight photographer for$5 an hour or whatever? I don't think that's gonna work for our family.

SPEAKER_01

We're just we're just starting. And so I ended up in fundraising. It's an obvious segue. Yes, which is still, which is still, you know, using the marketing and the media, all the things. Yes, it was still there. Yes. And I got to be a cheerleader for all these great nonprofits. That's the best. I call myself a cheap hugger. Yes. Yeah, yes, yes. So um now I want to hear about 3W magazine. And for those of you who are listening and you've not heard about 3W magazine, I want Casey to tell us all about it.

SPEAKER_00

We take it for I take it for granted. I know I do. So that's okay.

SPEAKER_01

I do too.

From Dream Jobs To Real Careers

SPEAKER_00

I want you to tell us. Tell us about 3W.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so 3W started with Leslie Zanoff and I almost 18 years ago, because I'm getting ready to put out the 18th issue. I I think it's 18. I kind of lose track. I know I don't like numbers. Um, I lived in Tulsa, and we, the magazine that I worked for, subscribed to San Diego magazine, and they put out what was called a charitable events registry in their January issue, which was a list of all the nonprofit events in San Diego. So we would get this annually. So Tulsa took that concept and they did it. So then when I moved over here, that was the social life were events. And I know we get to that later on, like page four, she has a really long script, y'all. I'm not gonna lie. I'm like a bullet girl. Allison's got a full-on script that she's making. But I did that because Casey and I have trouble staying on topic sometimes, which we're gonna find around on spaghetti roads. Yeah, we're gonna go on spaghetti roads. So um, Leslie and I or I'm sorry, let me backtrack. We were working at Cityscapes together, which is another great monthly publication. We have multiple monthly amazing publications in the area. Yes, we do. And we have always said if you want to start a magazine, move to Northwest Arkansas. Yes, they have a lot, but they all have a lane. Yes, and and we love, I love to say, you know, you want your event to get in the glossies. Yes. I love to say the glossies, I'm totally stealing. Uh-huh. Because we have really good glossies. We do, we do for two counties and less than a million people. I think I don't think we've hit a million yet, but um, we have a lot of great glossies. You're totally right. Yes. So, anyways, we she had a San Diego magazine on her desk, and I was like, Oh, I know that magazine. And we used to do this at Tulsa, and then I started, I had no friends. So I would go to events with her when she covered them, and then we started meeting people, and then we were like, Well, I mean, all these events are planning on top of each other. Somebody needs to do a CER, a charitable events registry. So we went back to Tulsa, met with my old publisher. He's like, Oh, I don't know. Show me what you're thinking for a standalone, right? Right. Like normally these were just an insert, but we wanted to make it a standalone. So we just put the pen to the paper and worked on costs and we never raised our rates in 18 years. So really proud of that. Thank you very much. You're so welcome. And out came 3W, which stands for the who, what, where, and we're just rocking and rolling now. You know, I love the who, what, where. Every once in a while I'll think three W, or someone will say to me, Why is it called 3W? And it it takes me a minute. I think, why is it called 3W? Who, what, where? But everyone always thought it was three women, which is fine too, because there were three women that worked there. So but it's been a rotating door in a good way, but it's just plain and simple who, what, where.

SPEAKER_00

And my next question leads right into what we were talking about, because Northwest Arkansas, since that 18 years ago, plus or minus, um, has changed a lot. And uh when uh you guys started this, you're right. We didn't have the amenities we have now.

The Origin Of 3W Magazine

SPEAKER_01

And the the uh special events for all of our nonprofits were the thing that people did. That was the culture. That was where what where you went to be seen. You didn't walk a square, you didn't ride a bike. I remember when I was moving here and I came kicking and screaming, I will admit it, because I thought my little bubble in Tulsa was New York City. I don't, I just, I just did. I understand. So I came here and my husband had worked on Harbor High School, and then he was working on the promenade, and he told me all the stores that were coming, and I was like, this is this is okay. Stop driving me past cows to look for houses, but it's fine. And I wouldn't trade any of it anymore. But I remember talking to Kim at Cityscapes, and she was like, These are the events we have tickets to. What do you want to go to? And I'm like, I don't know what anything is. Tell me, tell me what it is. And everything was gala. Yes, and I thought gala meant gone with the wind hoop skirts, right? It didn't. Um, so that was interesting. So I think Kisapig Gala back in the dark ages, like I moved here in 06. So it was probably 07 when I went to a Gala and the Kisopig Gala, and I was like, Well, this is uh this is something. This yeah, wow, and y'all are doing this like three nights a week. This is insane. And Tulsa, I guess I thought it was philanthropic. I don't even know if I knew the word philanthropic when I lived in Tulsa. It wasn't in my orbit, I don't think. And so I was mesmerized by these events and the amount of money they're raising and the sponsors, and it's it's something, it's a gold bubble. It really is.

SPEAKER_00

And and it and we'll get into how it's changed now, but you're right. It was uh something every night of every weekend.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, you had to have a little um a club card that said you could sign, you've signed a book. I don't even know what that meant, but um to drink a a glass of wine in Benton County back then. Yeah, I forgot. Yeah, so now you got just wine flowing at the John Q now Rogers Convention Center. But I'm like, what is this wonky world you have moved me to? Oh my goodness. It's funny. Well, um, did you get off on your screen? I did, I did, but I was honestly just thinking about how it's changed, and there could be so many things that 3W covers and goes to and does. How have y'all stayed focused on just the nonprofits? Because now we got all this other stuff going on. We have a lot going on, but we really have to be 501c3 for the most part to be a for y'all to focus on it. Yes. Yes, to put it the event in the magazine. You have to be nonprofit-based. Now, if I'm lying, that's pretty normal. So if this somebody's got an event in there that I just have right. Okay, let me use uh premier dermatology for example. Okay. So they're an advertiser, right? Um, their events, their open houses per se are not in print in the magazine, but we will put those on our email blast. Right. So there's kind of a fine line between the email blast and the magazine, but you also know how many nonprofits they support. Yes. So yes, it's it's a connection. Yes, they they have partnered with you as a sponsor or advertised. Missy is on the board of, I could be lying again, but I know she's been on the board at Cancer Challenge before. Yeah, and so great nonprofit. And and she donates to everything. She doesn't say no for auctions. Right, right. And so, but what's made 3W stay in that lane when you could say, you know what? Now we're gonna cover, you know, we've done that. We did that. I don't know. I should have um looked that up on my research, but I could date myself. So back in the day, I I don't know how long it's been. I uh it's 10 plus years, I would say. We launched a digital magazine that was lifestyle content driven. I think we were just ahead of the times on that. Who wants to read a magazine online? It just wasn't the thing you did 10 plus years ago. It was called Trace Lifestyle. We were trying to play off the three thing, and we would release it quarterly. I do remember it was fun, it took a lot of time and we enjoyed it, but we were like, this isn't a revenue generator for us. It didn't hit at the it's the timing.

SPEAKER_00

It didn't hit right at the right time, and then it ended up taking away from the hard work you already do.

SPEAKER_01

We did rebrand it, it was Trace Lifestyle when it launched, and then we rebranded it, I don't know, a year or two into it to 3W lifestyle, because I think there was a miss. And then we were just like, we're done.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So it just got to be too much. And then we felt 3W was suffering, like the print, and the print is that's that's the baby. And it was the resource we needed. Yes. Like I remember when you you first the club and we didn't know each other personally. No, but I kept thinking, oh great, finally someone is gonna help get us all organized because we're all thinking that we've picked the best night and the best thing. You know where it came from. And then all of a sudden there's five other events that night, and some of them are the exact same event because no one was talking to each other. Yes, it was probably so we launched in July of 08. So it was probably February of 08. Okay. Kiss a pig, ACO's ball at the mall, which ACO is now arts one. Um, the ball at the like ball-themed event at the Northwest Arkansas Mall. Okay. And Walnut Farm's Montessori event. Walnut farm Montessori. I'm probably portraying that. Um, had an event at the the giant eight, eight story, eight, eight-story building across from the home office, Benville Plaza building, right? Yeah, yeah. Uh now called Bloom. But um, those three events were on the same night and nobody could go up against Kitsipig back then. No, right? They're grossing a million dollars every year, which was huge close to 20 years ago. Nobody grossed a million dollars the Friday night before, the Thursday night before, and the weekend before it were completely empty. So you had ACO who made like nothing for their operating budget the following year.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Because everyone was invested in the big shiny one that was already there in a stack.

SPEAKER_01

Because nobody knew. And so is that when y'all it was literally that weekend. That's what we need to do.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. We need to help these nonprofits so they all can look at because because I think at that time we were as a not person that was at a nonprofit, we would look at the chamber calendar. Right. We would look at the school calendar, we'd look at the razorback calendar.

Building A Charitable Events Registry

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And then we'd think, oh, here's a day, but it wasn't inclusive of everybody. Right. You you tended to step on someone's toes or have your toes. So now it's like a it's a collaboration, and I think I we have bulldozed the community into coming to us with their event dates and seeing where we can move. I mean, I will be totally honest. I'm like, are you sure you want to go with that date in April? You're up against four other events. I mean, we'll just be honest with them. And if they say yes, then they do. Yes, and we've laughed about that before in Northwest Arkansas. April is like the holidays because there is there are so many events. I think there you only have like two available weekends because of Easter, all the Easter stuff. Yeah. And then same with May. Yeah. April and May. Be ready. Yes. Everybody get your frozen meals for the microwave. Um, so your commitment to Northwest Architizon nonprofits started with that.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm gonna transition now into what I could not wait to talk to you about as well.

SPEAKER_01

This one could get me in trouble. And that's okay. We're this is a safe space. Real, real.

SPEAKER_00

Real, real, real talk. If you could banish anything at a charitable event from ever happening again, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01

And I mean, get real with me, because I know you've been a guest at most of the events that happen in this area.

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes you're there for 3W, but sometimes you're there because you're literally a guest or you're on the committee or you're on the butt, I know you've sat somewhere and thought, oh, for Pete's sake, we cannot do this again.

SPEAKER_01

Rubber chicken. Chicken. Rubber chicken. You're sick of the rubber chicken. And I understand. Like I know I'm slamming the rubber chicken. It isn't an intentional slam because I know that is cost effective, but it's the rubber chicken with the mystery sauce, a side of starch, mist, you know, veggies, salad, alternating dressings, ranch, vinaigrette, then a chopper cake and a cheesecake alternating seeds as well. I remember one year at mine we had air, what's the one? Airline chicken. Airline chicken. That's the bougie rubber chicken. I I'm putting my own chicken wing up. Uh-huh. Because I thought, ooh, it's fancy. Yeah, it's air, airline chicken. Because it's got one leg, one leg up or something. And I thought fancy. But then 15 other people did airline chicken that year. Yes. Or they'll do the mashed sweet potato instead of the regular potato with some really good sauce. And we try and we try and we try. Now I remember one time at the LUA, they did a hicama like salsa, and it was completely different. Absolutely. I thought, I don't even know what this is. I probably pronounced it wrong. Chickama?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And thought, I don't even know what they're talking about. But that night it was perfection.

SPEAKER_01

Because it was in a little different. They did the martini glasses that it was just like a cold salad before, and it wasn't a salad on the plate with the two choices of dressing and nonprofits have to reinvent the wheel every time they have an event. Yeah. When it comes to food. I'm surprised it was the rubber chicken. I thought you were gonna, I don't know what I thought you were gonna. Probably have many things because I'm I don't like a giant live auction. I like a two or three max live auction, just like experience driven. I don't think anyone around here needs any more stuff. Um, I love a black tie only event. I don't like the word optional. I'd loat the word optional because then you've got plaid suits and some with a sport coat. And I'm like, no, keep your event clean. Choose a dress code and go with it. Do not roll optional in. Yeah, nothing against the casual night or the sport coat. I love a casual night too. Don't say optional because don't say optional. Yes. Yeah. If you want to be black tied, just be black tie. Just be black tied. Your pictures are gonna be fantastic. If you want to be cocktail, be cocktail. Yes. But I will say that, and I I was in a meeting yesterday where she brought this up. Nonprofits, because photos help generate money for them, right? That helps get people amped up about it. They need to send inspo boards, I think, to their people of like, are you going to the podcast scala this weekend? Here's what we're seeing. You know, just help people get dressed. They need help. We all need help. Yes, because people do stress about that. And some of them stress to the point that they just don't go.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. If they think that it's something that they're not qualified to dress for, they take it off their list.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And a lot of people around here love the casual event because they don't have to worry about it. That's true. You know, Leslie and I used to joke, that's one of the first things that guys would ask. Can I wear jeans?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Which is so great too for the right event. You can absolutely wear jeans. I'm over silent auctions, but I understand. I know. I could do, you know, maybe you might not have heard my speech.

SPEAKER_00

Um, so many people have about the silent auction. I am so over it because I don't think this will come up later. I don't think people realize how much work.

Northwest Arkansas Then And Now

SPEAKER_01

It's so much work. And now, even more, I would assume, inputting it into the system, because we don't do paper anymore. It it helped this the having a system and they're all like digitally, all that is helpful. But the part that's and and uh you get your money because it's digital. Yes. But used to with the paper, those people had left at eight o'clock. Yeah. So then you're checking cutting them down weeks later. Or months later. Months later. Months. And it was so frustrating. I bet you're telling them you got this bag of curling irons and shampoo, and I know you're really worrying about it. You know, and it's$25. And like, but the nonprofit literally needed that transaction to get complete auditors for the donation, all the things.

SPEAKER_00

And yet, you know, if your event was in May, you might wrap up all of that in September or October.

SPEAKER_01

Like I know I literally had something in my car in October one year, and I was like, I've got your curling irons and your shampoo, your hair product basket. I bought an art basket one year and I never picked it up. I paid them. Yeah. They sent me something and I paid them, but I never back then they didn't pay. But with the digital came the that transaction that nice. So sometimes if they never got their auction on, you could at least save it for the next year or give it as a door prize or repurpose it in the nonprofit round. Absolutely made sense. Yes. Because you still got the donation. Let me ask you a question. Okay. What's the one thing you could do without? Oh, goodness gracious sakes. Because I have lots of things that I love, uh-huh. Like on your next question. But like what drives me nuts, it's probably just a rubber chicken. What's your number one? I think, as, and this is my fundraiser brain. Okay. Coming in. I literally almost burst into tears when we have the moment, and you know the moment, where we have told that because of you and your support, we have fed this hungry child. And if you just give da-da, anyway, we've said the things, we've had the video. We don't do the ask. Everybody's heart is like bleeding and broken. Tears. Tears equal money. Tissues, we're trying. And then we move right on to the next thing. No, we never say, fill out your card. Give us some money. And the QR code. Hold your cards in the air. It happens more than it doesn't. Are you serious? I maybe because I'm accustomed to I know how this goes, that I just get my card out and I'm already ready. So I don't even wait for the listen. I was at one a couple of weeks ago that uh I did invite you to. Oh. Um I said I mentioned that later, the power of no. He said the power of no, which I need to learn. But he went, I was there and the moment could not have been more perfect. It was knowing what I said no to, which I only said no because it was a six-hour round trip. Let's be real. But Claire on that. That's a heart string one. Like I how can you not? And and here's the thing if we had, if they had segued right into it in the moment, they it would have been perfect. Yes. But I am telling you, everyone that's listening, if you get in the moment, you've got to have whoever is doing the talking say the words. We need your support tonight. Yes. If you will give, the card is on the table. And if you will give right now, you are going to change lives. But do it in the moment. And I will say this was a 30-second transition. It wasn't even like they waited five minutes and it was literally a 30-second. And before that 30 seconds was over, the crowd had moved no, no, on to the next thing and in a new mindset. And it was a split second. Like, and that I think that's what kills me the most is when you tell them the story and you have them, or maybe you don't mention the story.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sitting there thinking, when are we going to hear? What helps? How can we?

Staying Focused On Nonprofits

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I I always need them, I call them mission moments. I think I got that from Mercy. I always need a mission moment. They don't get to the moment. Yes. That's one good thing. But if they're in the moment and then they forget to say the words, please give, donate. That's we need your help. That's why we're here. That's my biggest one. Okay. And it it just it's a gut. That's a lot bigger than rubber chicken. Yeah. Give you that. And it's just because that's my whole background. Yes. Is people will give to people. And a lot of times you've invited people that love you to be at your table. They're going to give. And they're going to give because they just heard that they're good. They came because they love you. Yes. But they're going to understand why you love the mission so much in that moment. And they're going to say, oh, I have got to Alice and Casey because they invited me. And I had no, I they've been talking about this for months, but I haven't listened to a word they've said. Yes. And now I know the story. I have got to give right. Yes. Like that's it. But let me like add on top of that real quick. Okay. You know what I have started doing in my giving? I used to just give like a flat donation, and now I do a very small monthly donation because that one actually adds up and it's not money I'm missing, if that makes sense. Right. And I love money. And but we are giving that opportunity those nights when the ones that go ahead and say please give. Like I do it with your one of your organizations. And I'm like, instead of like this this one fee, standard fee that I give to the events that I attend, I've started with that really small monthly one. Cause I'm like, well, that adds up a lot faster. And I end up giving more, but I don't even realize it. Uh-uh. You don't. So it's just a couple trips through a coffee shop. Right. It's so much easier to do monthly. And so now I am instructing people, be sure and have that option because somebody would rather have um, you know, someone would rather have the chance to give a little bit a month for their, you know, instead of their coffee, then um they then they might not have$250 that night. And it just you've got to give everyone all the options. All the options. Yeah, not a million. Yes, but a handful. Yeah. Okay. What is it that you love? You've been to all of them, you've seen probably every kind of event. What are some things that stood out to you that organizations should still keep doing? Okay, so first and foremost, I love the nonprofit events because they all have a mission and they all believe in their cause. Like, even if I don't want to go just because I'm peopled out, this is their thing and this is what they believe in. So I love that for them. But on a superficial level, I love a theme. Like um charity ball one year, Mercy's O Night Divine Charity Ball, they did it in the round one year. The Northwest Arkansas Food Bank just had an event in October, I believe. And they set it up like a grocery store.

SPEAKER_00

I saw the photos of that.

SPEAKER_01

So it was super interactive. You weren't sitting at a table board, you were interacting and purchasing things. Um, your event, well, your Rogers Museum event, you have tastings. Yes. Like you've done whiskey and tequila and sake. This year it was sake. Yes. Uh so I'm like unique. Yeah. Brain B. I'm sorry, appetite. Yeah. Um, like super unique. Um I'm sorry, I'm saying a lot, even though I wrote it down. I like small, intimate events. I mean too. I like small intimate events. I bring the ticket price up, bring the attendance down, and just make it more intimate. One of my favorite events on the planet is the the art of circle of life, oh, art of hospice event. And that was a big deal when they took that. They took it. It used to be called Voyage years ago. They were trying to do the gala just like we all do the gala. And they said, you know what? We're gonna rewind and we're gonna cut this down and change it. And it's been a huge great event. You're not there for a hundred hours, you don't have rubber chicken, you're in a beautiful setting. The entertainment, the last year I went, so they took a year off, so they're going every other year on art of hospice. So the last year, to my knowledge, that I went was when they brought in a gentleman from Hamilton and it was amazing. So I yeah, like very small because his wife spoke at the luncheon. Because yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because they have yeah, and I think I have that in here about you sometimes you need to switch things up. Yes, but I love hearing that because I think the Historical Museum Foundation's the the Rogers Historical Museum Foundation's tasting event. I think that's why I think it's so clever. It is clever. They're grassroots, they're just getting started. Yes. Janae Huffman Gilreef. Yes, she and Gail and some of those board members came up with that term. Oh, I did not realize that. I think it's gonna, it's gonna continue to be the greatest thing for them. It's the most adorable event. Yes, I've only been once in the three years, so I apologize because you had it on 9-11 this year, ironically. Everybody planned on top of you at the last within the last couple of months before 9-11. Yes, and we were worried that night.

SPEAKER_00

We were worried that no one will want to do anything on 9-11.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_00

There were four events that night. Yes, it was insane. Yeah, and it was this year. We're we're fine, we found our, you know, they were finding their their group and the two speakers were so good together.

SPEAKER_01

And just the pairings that they did, like one was sweet, one was anyway, it it was pretty exciting.

SPEAKER_00

But I love it.

SPEAKER_01

But it's unique and different. We don't normally go to sake tastings or apple brandy tastings. No, that I didn't even know I liked it. Okay, see, it's something this is completely different from sake that I anyway, origami sake. If you'd like to be a sponsor of the podcast, call me. Yes, anyway, they it was one. But I love a theme, or like um uh children's family and advocacy center, they have a country, a barn dance. Uh I'm butchering. I know in it to end it. Yeah, yes. Like because I always want to call it in it to win it. Yeah, but it's it's in it to end it. In it to end it. Uh-huh. And it's a barn at the springs, and it's so fun and chill. Yes. I love, but I love a good black tie event too. Well, and but that's the theme. Yeah, and then my you know, R Ip. It's it's it's gone to rest now. But but nobody has stolen that idea. Uh huh. And and at at the Time we had several lu outs beach theme, yes, boys and girls club, but they're open to my knowledge. Right now, there's no one doing that theme, right? Or children's shelter, they have the derby, they have a derby event, but it was a fun theme. Yes, you could just go to Cole's and buy your Hawaiian shirt and and the lays we gave you, and they came in the door. So yes, fun, fun. So a good theme. Okay, y'all taking notes. Remember, Casey likes a good theme, so be creative. I love themes, have fun with it. Yes. So uh I'm I'm gonna talk just a little bit about she's lying when she says a little bit. I'm just gonna say events drive me bananas. Understandable. They really do. Yeah. Because I don't think the community or the uh board members until they've been on the board for a while.

SPEAKER_00

Uh just the regular people, I don't think they understand how much it takes out of a nonprofit to put on an event.

Calendar Clashes And Community Fixes

SPEAKER_01

Um it it's it's not just it's the hours, it's it's mind flowing. It's the money. Yes like that convention center costs it's so much fortune, it's so much the chicken dinner with a lot of rules. Yes, rules and regulations and the chicken dinner. If you can get it donated, it's almost harder to talk them in the line. You bring it in. Bring it in. You know, yeah. So that's so event venues, don't charge your nonprofit, don't charge anyone to bring stuff in. Yeah, because if they can get it donated, it helps so much.

SPEAKER_00

So the all of these beautiful venues around the area, which if we have time, maybe we can talk about some of those. But I think people are going to those more because they can get their stuff donated and bring it in.

What To Banish From Fundraisers

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Um, we've got some great AV people now in the back in the day. We'd be sitting there at embassy suites and the the the AV would, you know, if it wasn't on that night, no one could hear. You couldn't get everybody. Quality AV, it's expensive, but it's worth it. Very my my personal favorite is a VOD three here in town, and they're actually um national now. They travel all around the country putting on events, but I know them when they were real small, and they are you get what you pay for. I guess is probably a better way to say it because 3W is expensive too, but you get what you pay for, and you have to be able to hear when you're hearing all the clanking of glasses. And let me tell you, those servers are not quiet at all. No, so you need that quality AV. No, and AVOD 3, like they they partner with a lot of our nonprofits. Yes, and they are good. I love they are they're just they're good. They're good people straight from the top, and they're professional, and it always does sound really, really good. I've I've gotten to work with them several times, but um, it's I think one thing that I'm noticing, and we've preached, you know, don't be event heavy, don't have all these events. If you put in the hours of your staff that worked on this event, you would be upside down in your return on investment because that hourly rate, whatever you came up with, is gonna show you how many hours you spent to raise this much money. That makes sense. But it's so hard because board members see the instant dollars. Oh, absolutely. They're like, uh we gross. I'm like, but what did you net? What did you get? Everybody always reports the gross around here. Yeah. So then when you look at the net and say you pretend to put a$15 an hour salary on, you know, or or payment on your all your workers, and you add up the hours that they worked on that event, it would be more upside down than 2008's building crisis or whatever. I mean, also known as a good year to start a magazine. Yeah, exactly. Uh, we were in a capital case problem. I love that for both of us. Yes. Um, but I am hearing and and from one organization, they said it's so hard to get the one-on-one meetings anymore. I can't say them. They need to see their donors and they need to talk to them and tell them the latest thing, but to call and ask for coffee, it is a little awkward because they either the donor assumes you're about to ask them for a big thing of money or they just don't have time because they already know you're doing a great job. Yes. And they love you so much that they're gonna give no matter what. Like, why do I need to go have coffee with her? Like, why no? I think COVID took that out of us. I think so. It got it got us all accessible on screens and it took out the personal relationship. And so I think there was one organization said that we're trying to have these smaller, like informative events, which is another event for them to plan and pay for. Yes. But that brings them into the organization and they get some FaceTime with the people they need to thank, love on, you know, um, tell about the future and get their advice for what should we, you know, do you love this program? You know, we thought you would be a good fit for you. Like they can't do that if they can't get a coffee with right. So they might have other smaller events. So I've gotten back from saying quit trying to have so many events, to saying it's all about balance. That's like everything else. It's all about uh balance and uh yeah, the the the dynamic in northwest Arkansas. Um there's more competition now. I know. Is that where we are? That's where we are because that's a hundred percent true. Yeah, like used to, like you said, you came on the scene, and the big thing you did that weekend was go to the gala or the or you might be golfing in the golf business Friday or Monday, or um the beach bash for so-and-so. All that was that was your weekend before we had an amp and a crystal bridges and a Mom and Terry and a you know and the restaurants and the wine bars and the Falton Arts Center down there, but it was only certain nights. Yeah, so it, you know, it's not seven days a week. Uh-uh, right. And we juggled with the razorbacks, yes, but up here, like in this Benton County, we we didn't have that. We didn't have all the stuff. No, no, we didn't have a motorbike or an electric bike or a regular bike or nobody had bike. I mean, people had bikes. I mean, I still don't. Okay, but that's okay. The trails, the trails we have become a place where there is something to do, yes, no matter what daytime it is. Oh my god, so it's so true though. Um I finally like subscribed to that's what I was gonna say, and I've already forgotten. Yeah back earlier when I was moved here, everybody would say, Oh my gosh, well, you're moving to Northwest Arkansas. That's so pretty. And I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, I can't do anything with pretty. I can't have a drink at pretty, I can't eat at pretty, I can't shop at pretty back when I went in-person shopping. Um, I couldn't do anything with pretty. I was never the like, I'm outdoorsy in that I like to sit on a patio and have a cocktail. That was my version of being outdoors. So I couldn't do anything with pretty, but now that I've lived here, all the pretty amenities that I like to partake in have come to me. And I do enjoy being outdoors. I we still don't own bikes, but I'm sitting outside in all the stands and the bleachers with my kids. So now our things are pretty to me. We're not big bikers either, so we have that in common. I mean, I want a bike, I just haven't appreciated it. Yeah, I appreciate it and love that we're that capital of the world self-appointed mountain biking capital of the world and love that. But I'm I haven't gotten into it yet. Right. And pretty soon I worry if I'm gonna leave from Rogers Abentville, I'm gonna need a bike and an aluminum water bottle in order to get in the city gates. Yeah, whatever. It's it's going to be your right of entry. Well, as we're talking about all these things, how do you decide what thing you're going to with your calendar? And I mean, I know it's your job for I know, but you know, and you're busy too, and you're, I think you're at way more things than me. So over the, I would say over the past five years, I've pulled back dramatically. I have kids. I have an 11-year-old and a 15-year-old. And I thought kids kept you busy when they were little because they were just always crawling around. But that stage, today's stage doesn't light a candle to that one. It doesn't. Like I'm in very underpaid Uber at this point. I only have six months left, less than six months left of Ubering the older one. Um, so I and you know, because you've got one that's graduating from college this year, and another one, he's a year, he's a junior. He's a junior so that time is fleeting. And if you make me talk about how Chase is going to college in two and a half years, I will have an absolute meltdown. It's getting easier, I think, in a little bit because teenage attitudes are something to be especially I'm sure girls are too, but I only know boys. Um, that's that's special. That's you know, this morning it was my fault that his protein powder didn't mix up in his water. Yeah. Did he say bruh? Oh, I for sure got a bruh, bruh. I'm like, dude, and my comeback is dude because I'm a child of the 80s. Yeah. So I'm like, dude, I get another packet, or I'm sorry I filled up your water bottle this morning at 5 a.m. an hour before you got up, but it's fine. Yeah. My point to that is I when I leave you, I'm getting the 11-year-old and the 15-year-old is playing baseball this afternoon. That's game three of their World Series. So I'm going to do that. And I sat in the stands yesterday with my laptop. Like kids come first. Right. Their schedules come first. That's why I have Ashley. Everybody knows and loves Ashley, and she will tell them why I can't be in an event. So I pick and choose events that I go to. And it's mostly the nonprofits that um I love, they're all great. But certain ones pull on certain people's heartstrings. That's just nature. So like I, you introduced me to the museum, Rogers Museum. I didn't even know anything about it. And now I'm a monthly donor and I it's vital to the community. Like I get it. I have learned so much just the last couple of years working with them. Like my my thing used to be like kids in healthcare, and I've I've I've spread my wings a little bit more. I love that. She spread her wings. I've spread my nonprofit wings a little bit more. So I I choose, or I will choose a luncheon over an evening event. Yes. Like there's a huge um a great event Thursday night, even though I'm not sure when this one comes out, but there's a an event in a couple days that I would love to go to, but the my schedule does not allow for that. And I'm not you're just I'm just not going to compromise on that right now. That's back to that whole you've learned the word no and it's a complete ish. Ish ish. Yeah, I'm definitely an ish. I'm still I'm not really a no person. That's the thing. I've got that later, but um, I'm not a no person, but you you caught me on a six-hour round trip question. I was like, no, yeah, I'm not going to let O'Reilly. No matter if O'Brien himself is in the vehicle. No, I'm not. Um so one nonprofit uh executive that we know and love was telling me the other day that she feels like everyone, well, not everyone, but because of where we live, we've gotten into this habit of needing to do fancy like entertainment for people at our events. 100%. Like, like if a golf tournament like they're successful, but if it doesn't fit your mission or you can't quite bring the mission into it, she thinks that we all just do them because of the cash. Absolutely, you know, that's what happens. But if with the work and the stuff that we put into it, our people that work for the nonprofit can't focus on the mission. If they're playing in a golf tournament, that doesn't quite really go or a run. Yeah, like inner like she feels like we're entertaining. Oh, doing entertainment. Yes, because people give to get. They don't give to give. Uh-huh. And she's so accustomed to receiving something for our giving. Like, oh, I got to see Rascal Flats at this gala, or I got to see Martina McBride, or I got to see tennis with this pro. It is. And it's so hard to step back from that when you've got to keep up with the other nonprofits.

SPEAKER_00

Also, but she their organization has really done well at just deciding, um, you know what?

SPEAKER_01

We're not gonna get in that rat race. We're gonna just do, and I think they have a beautiful, like um informative event that's philanthropy celebration. Um, they talk about the program, the ticket. You don't buy a ticket, you invite people to come to hear the mission. And they don't really do, they don't play the game. And I find that it takes balls not to play the game. It does because so many of the nonprofits here feel like they've got to keep up in order to get in the glossies, in order to make sure that executive shows up or that supplier gets their time. Oh, yeah, it's all about who's engaged from a certain road. But I'm saying right here, ladies and gentlemen, there is one group that's figured out they don't have to play it that way, and they're raising tons of money. I love that for them. I would assume I could guess. Um, we're not gonna say, but I would assume I could guess. They're doing a great, great job with that.

The Power Of A Clear Ask

SPEAKER_00

Um, anyway, that's the whole return on investment. And then you brought it up earlier. We know our dear friends uh at Circle of Life have decided uh they're two, they have two wonderful events.

SPEAKER_01

They were doing both of those every year. They've decided to alternate those now. I love that for them. And I mean, I love that for them. I love it for yours in my calendar. 100%. Yes. You sent me an invite to this podcast, gave me three dates till the end of the year. Yes. But my calendar does not look like yours. I think you're way busier than me. I don't know. I think we're probably about the same, but like I love the idea.

SPEAKER_00

And at first I think people were like, wait, what? But they figured out that they can, if they can have the time to plan one event and do it really well. And I I was just at an entrepreneur class last week, and that was the chapter about it was about failure that they were studying and how that does build you.

SPEAKER_01

Um, but one of the saddest build ever, though. I know. But one of the things they said was some people fail because they think, okay, we're gonna build this shiny object here, and it's gonna be a huge hit. Everything looks really good. And before they launch it, they oh, but we could, we could also do this over here. And they they get sidetracked with this extra. But that's kind of you and I. We're idea driven for other people, which is why you are a consultant. I'm always sitting in things and I'm like, Well, you should do this, and this is what the invite should look like. And I'm like, I've just gone down a rabbit hole that doesn't even pertain to me. And and so they they end up, you know, like a offstanding squirrel. Yeah, get off because they didn't focus on the one thing. And so to me, this group, they're gonna nail it because then that beautiful event that's more of an evening dress up, they'll focus on that one year. Then the next year they'll focus on their luncheon and it'll be a beautiful absolutely. I love that luncheon. And the sponsors will sponsor both. Oh, absolutely. And anyway, yes. I find that fascinating. So if you want to know more about that, let me know. I will hook you up with that, those group, that group of people because it's a great idea. Keep your same events, but instead of both, they're gonna take turns. And it seems like maybe Washington Regional did it years ago. Um, they didn't alternate events, but they quit having that. They did. They had a garden. Oh, yes, the Eagle Awards, and then they also had a garden party. Same thing. Then they used to be in the same year, and then they spread them to every other year, and then one just kind of, or they actually they both faded away and they do like more. I feel like they do more private fundraising than event driven. But I could be yeah, lying.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, if we could find the magicness of like in my mind, the equation. This is my fundraising brain. You've got a 12-month development plan. My thought is have your one signature event.

SPEAKER_01

One, one, pull out all the stops, have the great theme. It there are so many benefits to having an event. I'm not saying don't have any events, right? Because here's what events are good at friend raising. Oh, I like DOT connecting. Yes, yes. If you can invite new people to the event to hear that beautiful moment where everybody gives their money, yes, that is the friend raising that you need. Um, new connections to corporate sponsors in the glossy magazines for awareness. Because if you're splashed all over, and even in the section of the newspaper that's a lot of the events. Like we still see Karen, you still see Karen Schautmeyer everywhere. Like, so you're still getting the awareness and getting out of just your normal day-to-day stuff.

SPEAKER_00

You gotta have them.

SPEAKER_01

But my thought is have your one big one a year, and then on the other side of the year, like six months, uh-huh, have your philanthropy event where you say, Hey, everybody stop by for a tour, uh, some punch and a cookie, and let us show you what your work has been doing. And you can help us right now because we're we're gonna ask your opinion. Should we blah la the program? And right. And then people are there as part of the family. Yes. And then they probably will make a gift.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Have a have an ask that's more informal. Don't uh don't invite them and not ask them or tell them how they can help. Oh, but make it more informal. Yeah, make them a part of the group.

Themes, Intimacy, And Fresh Formats

SPEAKER_01

Yes, these that's the two biggest events you should have. I 100% find out what's not working, find out what is you know getting messed up or the holes, you know, and fade those out. And you're right, it's brave to do that, but it it it's necessary to work. If you if you spend your time finishing one event, running around trying to give everybody their auction item, when are you planning to get to know those people that came to the not? They're just you're just checking the box on accident. I think your heart's in the right place. There's over 4,700 nonprofits. Yeah. So I mean, we don't have time for 4,700 about palpitation there. Yeah. Um, so when they evaluate their events, like is there something you would tell them, look for this, you know? Uh when when you're trying to decide what can we how can we make it better? Does this one need to sunset into the often you know, fade away? You know, another thing, um, yes, well, while you're on that, and I'm a huge interrupter, and I'm sorry. That's fine. Interrupt away. Um nonprofits set ticket prices before they know it goes into the event. I'm like, oh, we're gonna have an event, it's gonna cost$75. Well, that's not gonna cover, but you've already splashed that out there. So I'm like, I know you think you're having a small event, but let's let's do the planning. Right? I don't, I'm not sure how necessary that is. And once again, we the general population doesn't understand that that$75 literally pays for some stuff to get you to come. Yes. Like, so most of the time when you see a ticket and it's$150, you've only donated$150 as a couple. No, we're at all and we're thinking we're still on the hole. Oh my, you know, that's so expensive. But no, they're literally buying your dinner, giving you entertainment, giving you some wine. And it's not the dinner you want. Uh let's yeah, let's be real. So that that leads me to the part about like, is there something you would tell nonprofits? Like they're sitting, you're sitting at their event. Million dollar question. Yeah. I mean, you don't have to know the answer, but and maybe it goes back to what you were saying before. I mean, just look at the numbers. Look at your numbers, try not to do rubber chicken, try to be as creative on a shoestring as possible. And if it's not working, engage your people and don't forget to ask for the money. Right. And if it's not working, let it go. Let it go. Be like Elsa and let it go. Let it go. Elsa is right. Elsa is right. And um, do you have those weeks where you think I cannot go to one more thing? Do you? I mean, I for sure do. And I have one specific weekend a year where I feel that way. I do, I really do, and it's so hard. Yes. Um, right now, this is that season for me. Oh, Q4 is nuts. I I feel under my brain power and I feel like I'm making mistakes and dropping emails. Um, but there's a lot of family stuff that I love to do and look forward to at this time of year. Uh-huh. But it all happens back to back to back. And I feel like it makes me drop the ball in other places. And so uh sometimes I I'm able to say no, but it's not because I'm breaking, it's breaking my heart. And my husband would say, I've probably spent three hours trying to figure out the map of how I could make it work for me to stop by that picture. Yeah, and and literally I call it a patchant wave. Yes. He'll literally say, There is no time for you to do that. You just told me yesterday that there's no time. So why are you still thinking about it? But because I feel it's it's it's who I am on the inside. Yes, because really you're a yes person. Yes, yes. And I just want to support my people. Yes. I want to support the nonprofits, to know that I'm I'm I believe in you. You're like it killed me not to come to historical tastings, and I can't even tell you why I couldn't come, but it was all the events, and I think there was also a kid thing, and I'm like, I can't remember the reason, but I remember it being like insane that night. And I think that's just gonna have that, you know, you're every event's gonna have that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um the the one little thing, pet peeve, that I needed to say it also is that when the event's over, and this is why not having four events a year or or even three, if you have more than three events, you're not able to do this.

SPEAKER_01

But everybody leaves the event and they are feeling so good. Like we have solved it. We're we're gonna pay money and I got I got the hair basket, and I I I this was a win. I fed the children. I fed the children and I got my curly curn. I got some scholarships have been bought, you know, all the things. And then the nonprofit doesn't have time to keep them engaged because they're planning the next event. Because they're planning the next red carpet or chicken dinner. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so I always tell them you have to build in while you're running around with auction items in the back of your car, you've got to build in a way to talk to all those guests that came.

Event Overload And Real ROI

SPEAKER_01

Send them an email and tell them the night that night we raised this much money. Um, we, you know, this is what we did with that. And that's all because of you. Yeah, you know what that's um, well, you probably know because you're deeply involved in Mercy, but the Mercy Hell Foundation calls it the seven points of touch. Yes. That's how they love on the always call it seven ways to thank a donor. Okay, yes, like that's a little bit more PC than seven points of donor. Oh my god. That's a lot of things. Clark, it is now seven ways to thank a donor. Seven ways to thank a donor, or recognize them, or reach out to them. It doesn't have to be about asking. It doesn't, it's really not. You're just hugging because they already love you. It's telling them we know there are 52 events that week and you came to ours and we appreciate it so much. But because you did, this is what we were able to do. We were able to Oh, I'd love to see. That is one probably a reason why you do it as well. We're both members of Mercy's Women with a mission because that thousand dollars is so tangible. We we vote on literally hospital equipment we're buying every year. Yes. Like we know. If I'm if I know a breast bag is going to a lady that's just found out she has breast cancer or the NICU equipment that's gonna, you know, keep that baby pumping and going so they can get out of the NICU. I feel good about it. Yeah, we bought a C-section table, and I know that's on down in our podcast. If we if we ever get rid of it, I'm like, we bought that table where we can tell her what to do the next day. Yes, yes, but all that makes such a difference, knowing and feeling like you're a part of it. Yes. Um, and and if you don't find a way to let the guests know that just love on them. And then I heard from there was one guy on a panel and he was from a supplier, and he literally said, I don't need you know a novel in an email. I won't read it. No, just thanks. Put three bullets in there, and he was talking about when you're asking for a sponsorship or you're asking what the product, but literally I'm not good at that. I'm so long-winded. No one has time to read. Right. You know who that the best bullet point email person is? It's Beth Brown. Oh, I need her in my life because I'm not good at it either. You see, well, we've got four pages of notes. Four pages, I'm not good at it. I'm like, hey, how are you? Sunshine and roses. I'm not good at it. But he said, three bullets tops. I don't have time to read your whole all the whole stuff. So just remember that. It's literally, thank you so much. We did this. End of story. That's it. I like it. X mentality. I love that. Listen up, nonprofits. Yeah, listen up. So um, oh gosh, where are we? We're so far down. We we are sort of we've kind of like woven it all together. We have though. We've done a great job. I know, I love it. Um, like so when you hear from people, you just said you love hearing from them, you love knowing. And I know I got two-winded and passionate talking about the events. But I love that. Um, but if you have events, you need to be talking to 3W to make sure you're on the calendar. The calendar is what started this whole conversation. The calendar is what started what started the whole business. They could tell we needed a dang calendar to keep all of this straight because so we wouldn't keep stepping on each other's toes. And here's the thing it's it's bent in Washington County, but for a lot of our organizations, it's bent in Washington County together. Like one event covers the whole thing. Yes. So you've got to know who's doing what. And so tell us. Like in Arkansas Children's Hospital, right? That hospital serves both counties and more. Yes, right. More and more. Mercy. Serve more. Yeah, we've got a hospital in Springdale. I say we. I always put myself as a we, wasn't that just anything? I do it too for my organizations too. But like, how can organizations partner with 3W and then um tell tell us more about 3W, but then also think of how can we help 3W? Like, we're on the nonprofit side, like you just need to respond to Ashley. That's all it is. Okay, just respond to Ashley. Like, I probably freaked out on her her a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, here's the print deadline. We have only submitted January to the designer. What we need the dates. I'm sorry, they're not sending them to me. And I'm like, send the dates. I'm gonna throw grenades in all of their offices. And I know it's hard, it's such a pain because the Razorbacks don't release the schedule in advance anymore. They were or they weren't when we started it. Then they started to release it in the fall. Now they've gone back to like December. And I'm like, I'm I blame everything in college football on the NIL. So I'm just gonna say that that's probably the NIL's fault. I don't really know. See, and I but sounds good. Razorback is huge. I hadn't even thought of that. I was yeah, you can't plan an event on a home weekend. The venues, like our venues at this point. Well, are we there? Are we gonna have it at the end of the day? Oh, well, that's huge, right? Because now there's more venues, which is so great. It used to only be the John Q slash convention center, yeah, and the convention center in Springdale and the town center in Fayetteville. And now we've got Osage House, which I feel like they're pretty much the premier venue in Benton County. Uh Fayetteville Public Library has that brand new. Oh, yes. Fayetteville Public Library where Gale of Hope is moved. Yes, so beautiful, or the AFP luncheon. Yeah, it's totally transformed. Heroncrest in Springdale is amazing. I love that. Like you need these. Um, I go to Osage House or like a Heroncrest because they're blank slates, like white walls, windows. So a nonprofit andor bride or whoever can do whatever they want with the space, they're not stuck to the orange. And bring in their donated product, and they're donated product. But the thing that I was talking about is like people need to decide on the event, lock it in, and lock it in. Yes. And I think a lot of times they think they've got plenty of time, and then all of a sudden it's time to give Ashley your day. But as a nonprofit, and you know this, don't you all have to put deposits down? Yeah. Yeah. So why are they not deciding? I understand the fall people. I it's probably a budget thing. Okay. But like I give grace to the people right now whose event is in two days. They don't have their date locked in for a year. But February, March, April, like, how have you not had to secure your venues by now? Right. Right. It is probably didn't think about the budget. Anyway, I think grace. That's the best thing we can do to help you. Dates is get those dates to actually. I try to share it every time, but I put on my calendar.

SPEAKER_00

So this is what you all should do. On August the 15th, I put get dates to 3W magazine. Yes. And it's a recurring appointment on my calendar. So sometimes it might fall on the Saturday.

SPEAKER_01

You were the first this year. Didn't I respond and tell you you were the first? Oh, I think you were. I think you're the rock star of the year. Thank you. Thank you. Um, and there's a lot of dates. Like when I'm thinking of the museum, there are they have a ton of interesting, wonderful things. And if we don't get it on there, no one's still gonna know. No one's gonna know. But put on your calendar. Well, think about it. Remember, go ahead. Yeah, no, like uh a recurring thing on your digital calendar that says get 3W the dates. Yes, and put it for like August or September. Yes. And you can get them, the ones you have, and tell them um, by November I'll have the other ones. But if your mind is working the month, yeah. We can TBD it until we go to print, but at least it's locked into a space that we can design around. Yes. And then I can tell other nonprofits not to plan on top of you because I did have. Um, a nonprofit that you and I are both tied to. Email me a couple weeks ago. They finally sent me their ad. Do you know what's happening? And I'm like, I don't. I don't. And I apologize, but I'm putting you in the bucket too, nonprofit. Everyone's dragging their feet. If you'll just set a date, I can move people around you and strongly encourage them. I feel like we are the gurus of the dates. We yeah, you are right. You are so and you got to get the dates in so that they can tell you. There's only, I don't know how many days are this month. 30. This is a 30 month, right? There's 26 plus events. Oh in November. And keep in mind, one of those weeks doesn't exist. Yeah. So that it's nuts. It's nuts, right? Because you got to contend with not this month, but like bikes blues and barbecue and razor back games and fashion week. Or I know I don't mean fashion week. I mean BFF. I mean you've got to contend or LPGA week. Like huge things that you yes, you can't go up and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. You've got to think. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Nicely. You've said it nicely. Send your send your dates. Um dates.

SPEAKER_00

So I'm I I guess we're running out of time, but I'm going to go ahead and finish because I want to know. I know you probably don't have time, but when you are in the car or where you listen to things, what are you listening to these days? Music, audiobook, podcast, because there's something you always turn to, or do you just listen to the boys talk in the car?

Competition For Time And Attention

SPEAKER_01

Oh, well, they don't talk, they argue if they're in the car together because the front seat is I see it's a voice of contention, right? So um, no, I have a concert in my car, right? And I have the most angelic voice to me. I'm sure you did not to anyone else. And that is so great. Um, so I sing a lot in the car. That is like a decompressor for me. I don't listen to audiobooks in the car. I'd rather read a book when I'm waiting at a practice or something. I will do that. I don't even really listen to my own podcast, the 3W podcast, very rarely. I will watch it on the computer to see if I need we need to push for edits, but overall I don't, which I should because that would help my numbers. But if I do listen to a podcast, it's um call her daddy or the new heights podcast. I don't listen to anything intellectual. Okay, okay, because that's just not who I am. I'm not a self-class. No, I love it. I love it. I am a I'm just fluff. I fluff in love and dot connecting. I will say I am a self, like I am addicted to Mel Robbins podcast. Yeah, no, see, I'm not. I don't want to I'm I yeah, I want to want to be, but I'm not. The new Amy Polar podcast is hilarious. Oh, see, I want to laugh. It's a good one, yes. And you just get, well, she just makes you laugh anyway. I did, and or a crime, I'll listen to a crime thing, or um, I listened to one juicy podcast last spring. Oh, that was juicy. It was well, I know about that one. I am going to try to listen to one of those you mentioned, but I do listen to 3W podcasts. Well, thank you. That's a good one. I I should. Yeah. It's a good I'm not I might think about that. This Ask Allison podcast. Hey everybody, listen to the Ask Allison podcast also. Yeah, I'm gonna tee it up because it just dawned on me. The podcast is called Ask Allison. So um I'm gonna start say, you know, asking my guest. Um, they have a chance to ask me anything they want. And I mean anything, it doesn't have to be on topic, it can be about stain removal, whatever. Anyway, so Casey, you get to ask me a question, whatever question you want. I have two, and I have I'm not prepared. I told her, don't tell me the question. But you gave me, you gave it away. Um Allison, you have the best advice on having a C-section. Oh, yes, I do. And you even wrote that. And I was like, I'm gonna ask Allison about having a C-section, but just kidding, she already gave it to me. We talked about this on your podcast. The day before I had a baby, my first baby, you gave me the very best C-section advice. And we had just met. Just met. We had literally just met, and she's like, I'm having a C-section tomorrow. You're like, hold on, let me tell you what to do. Oh my goodness, you gotta do this. And I thought, she's going to think I need bananas. I'm happy for it. Um, I told her the advice I gave her was if you are going to have a c-section, as soon as they allow you to stand up, you know, the nurse will come in and say, Are you ready to stand up? You stand all the way up. You don't hunch over, you take a deep breath and get your favorite cuss words ready and make sure maybe you know your partner's on the side of you and you stand all the way up and stretch those muscles because if you do that then, and you you will think you're going to die in that moment. You really will. You'll think, I am going to pass out because the open. Yeah. But if you will do that, you will be showering and um changing that baby and shopping within like a day or two. You're just able to, you're able to move around better if you go ahead and stand all the way up right after they say you can stand up. It's the best advice ever. And I asked when, like, someone told me, my dear friend Shelly Ball, who's Shelly's uh software now. She told me, and I thought, what the heck is she talking about? Like, I just did not get it. I didn't even know you and I did it. But she said, Don't think about it, just do what I'm saying. Don't think like still like she was grabbing me and saying, Woman, and slap in my face. You've got to do this. So I did it. I did exactly what she said. I stood all the way up. The nurse was very proud of me and impressed. She couldn't believe I was doing it. But she, you know, and I said to her, My friend told me to stand all the way up. And she goes, It is the best. Don't baby those muscles and stretch them. Yeah. And she said, Dad, you get on one side, I'm gonna be on the other side, and you're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00

And I was thinking, What in the world? Like I could not, when I did it, it all it took my breath away. I thought I was gonna pass out, it hurt so bad. But then I was able to shower like that night.

Choosing Events And Family First

SPEAKER_01

It's so freeing. Like, and when I say shower, I mean regular, like wash your hair with your hands up, yes, and then change the baby, hold the baby, push it in a stroller. You're just able to move. So that that's that's question one, and that's the answer. Okay, and it's our it's our story that we'll always. I always go back to it. Thanks a bit. No, Shelly, and then I told Casey, and Casey now tells everybody, but I give you all the credit. Yeah, okay. So recently, and we've already talked about this. Okay, you asked me a question and I immediately said no. Kiss, right? I never say no, and you never say no, and there's a lot of power in the word no, but I pride myself on being a yes person, even though it will probably eventually kill me, and that's fine. But I don't, that's just who I am. But what is your take on the word no? I'm trying, I'm getting better at it. It's a hard word. I'm in my 50s now. You would think I would have it down because they say once you turn 50, you get better at it. And I think I know I'm better at it. Okay, but I still overthink, overcommit. And I think um I want to get better at saying no. So many of my friends talk about how freeing it is, and they don't think twice about it. But I worry think I have that. I worry about the other person, yes, and I worry about that nonprofit, or I worry about, but this would mean so much to that person. Um, but I am getting better. I'm also getting better at when I say no, I don't give the novel of the. Oh, the explanation. I see I'm working on the explanation. I am learning to say, I checked my schedule and I I can't make it work. And I'm trying not to say, I'm so sorry. Oh, and I'm used to, I would write such a long thing that they were probably just glad I wasn't coming because they didn't want to hear about it, you know. But I just say, oh man, I checked and I can't come. And and it's never, it's never me being like, I've learned to just say it. Like, no, I literally check and I literally cannot come. And then if it's something that I just really need to be home, I say, I really have to be home that night. And I'm getting, I'm getting better at it, but it's I like I told you earlier, you know, Dwayne will come by and say, you literally have there is no way you can do that. And I will finally, you know, probably too late, think there there is no way I can get by there, or there's I really am gonna have to take that off my plate. It's hard, it's hard, but we need to do better. And it sounds like you are you did to me, and I I didn't really got it. But if it had been an in-town event, I would have said yes, but because you asked me to go to Lure Op, yeah, that was it was a really quick no. I just I thought for some reason being in the truck with me and Clark. I think that would have been a lot of fun. Yes, we had a blast for sure. You did the people in Clark School and Russellville and all the towns all the way there, they were thrilled to see us. Absolutely to see us. Yes, but yes, so I'm I'll work on it more and you work on it more. We're getting better at it. Yes, you told me, and and I will, I'm sure some well, if you've invited me and I've had to say, Oh my goodness, we're leaving the next morning at like six o'clock in the morning. So I better not go to that. I'm leaving my European vacation. I can't go to the Savannah C. Oh, okay. But I was trying, you're trying. Yeah. Anyway. Oh, I love you so much. Yes, I love you too. Uh, you're a dear friend. I just appreciate how you have not like from work, that's how we met because of our jobs, me and nonprofit, you had a magazine that supports nonprofits, but we've become friends, and I look forward to seeing you at everything that we're at together and just being with you. And um if y'all don't know her, I mean you're listening to her podcast, so you must know her, but she you're just a ray of sunshine. I've always thought this. You're sunshine and roses in real life. Thank you. Thank you. Like a unicorn, but I give you a horn. Yeah. I just I just love you so much. And thank you for doing this and taking the time to chisel it in in November. Yeah. So I can literally tell you the day I met you. That's funny. It's probably April 1st, 20.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. We'll say, Casey, stand up and stretch to drop out of your stomach tomorrow. Well, uh, thanks everybody for being with us. And uh thank you. Oh, my the notes. Covered up the notes. What was I saying? More notes. Just thanks for joining me again in this journey for the Ask Allison podcast. And and uh be sure to tune in next month, you know, always on the 7th, always at 7 a.m. You all don't know this. 7 a.m. We will in January. It's a thing with seven. Yeah, seven, seven, seven. Anyway, um, and just a reminder I'm here when you need me. All you have to do is ask Allison. Oh, that's cute.