For Women who Write
A podcast for women who write or want to write.
For Women who Write
27: The Exact Questions I Use as a Book Coach to Help Writers Find Their Book Idea
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In this live coaching session, Mikaela sits down with nervous system coach and mom of two, Shena Black, to help her narrow down her book idea.
This episode gives you a behind-the-scenes look at the book-writing process as Mikaela coaches Shena through clarifying her book idea, identifying her message, narrowing her audience, and building a transformational framework designed to help overwhelmed moms experience more peace, presence, and confidence in motherhood.
Welcome to For Women Who Write Podcast. I'm Mikayla, a certified writing coach, editor, and self-publishing expert with over a decade of experience, helping women turn their ideas into powerful, best-selling books. If you felt the call to write, share your story, share your experiences, how you can help other people, then you are in the right place. Here we talk about the real process of writing and publishing. From finding your voice to structuring a book, from overcoming resistance and imposter syndrome to launching it into the world with confidence. My mission is to show you that become a published and best-selling author if it is possible. Absolutely engaged. Your story matters, and chances are you're closer to holding your finished book in your hands.
SPEAKER_01Well, Shenna, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I cannot wait to chat with you today. We're doing something a little bit different, and we are actually going to be doing some coaching on the podcast. And so I cannot wait to hear more about your book ideas and hopefully get you a ton of clarity on where to go from here. So before we dive into all of this though, tell us more about yourself, what you do, and then we'll start talking about your book.
SPEAKER_03Awesome. So I am for starters, I'm a military spouse, which is not something that I talk a ton about, but it is everything to do with our lifestyle and our home life. And I'm also a mom of two toddlers, almost out of that, as our three-year-old were almost, she's turning four and our son will turn two. So we'll just have one toddler. I mean, I'm also a nervous system coach. I have just getting started in business for myself. And even this last year, just you know, ever since I officially opened my LLC, I have refined a lot and evolved a lot with what type of coaching I really want to be doing and who I really want to be serving. Um, I know that I, you know, I'm serving women in motherhood specifically, but I also have a heart to serve women preparing for motherhood too. Yeah. Um, the reason I say that is because the work that I want to help other women with is something that I have I mastered before becoming a mother. Yeah. Okay. And I think to myself every single day, like I cannot imagine what my motherhood journey would look like if I would have never done this work. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I see so many moms, you know, the moms at school, the moms at church, you know, just friends. And they, so many of them, they feel like they're, you know, just merely surviving, like they're drowning in motherhood. And I'm like, I just, I don't know what that feels like because I've done this work. Yeah. And it's not to say that I haven't had some, you know, really hard days or really hard weeks or really hard months, but even amidst of all the yuck, like we were just talking about the last two weeks for us, have been wild. Yeah, I don't feel like I'm drowning. Like I don't feel like I'm surviving. I feel I feel the hard and like it is what it is. And so if I can help other women learn these skills, learn how to update and expand their internal capacity, the way that they experience their life and motherhood could be just drastically better.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01So I already see like three books in what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, yeah. There's there's so much.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay. So you are are coaching moms. Yes. Tell me, talk to me more about your book. I know you and I, so I just for everyone else's so they know what happened. So I sent out an email to my list and was like, hey, I'm offering some free coaching on my podcast. Uh, if you are trying to decide, you know, what you want to write and that sort of a thing. And so you and I went back and forth a little bit. And one of the things you told me was that you felt like you needed to be a little bit further along before writing a book, but now you're not so sure. So we can definitely talk about that. And then the second thing was that you had kind of two potential directions to go with your book. So those are kind of the some of the things that I want to talk about with you today. So, first of all, let's talk about you felt like you needed to be further along, but now you're not so sure. So, tell me a little bit more about that process and you know, kind of your thinking behind all that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So I think when a lot of people think about like someone wrote a book that they're like already an established author. Yeah. Yeah. Or they already have like this career, this successful career. I mean, I even know talking with some family members. Um, I'm very close with my parents and my brothers, and you know, talking with them about like this is something I want to do. And this is something I've been wanting to do. I I mentioned it to my parents and my husband and my cousin, who's basically a sister of mine. I think it was four or five years ago. Like, I'm gonna write a book. And I had like four other things like that were big, yeah, that I was like, I'm gonna do this. They're like, a book, like can you can you do that though? And I'm like, well, why not? Yeah, you know what I mean? Yes. And so, like, I think just those limiting beliefs, though, of like they kind of go along with the societal beliefs of like, who are you to write a book?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that's where I felt like I feel like I need to be more established, like my business, my business, I would say right now isn't even officially off the ground due to some home life things, um, and being able to put the time in. And so I felt like, oh, well, I can't write a book because I don't have like a big name yet.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or anything. And so that's where some of that hesitancy has come in. And then as I mentioned in the second part of your question of like the two different routes that I feel very passionate about. I mean, well, I gave you two. So the the first one was like I would love to title it, make it very identity-based. Yeah. And I would like to title it something along the lines of like becoming her, and the acronym the her would be an acronym for healed, embodied, and rise. And what that would really look like is like the ongoing process of becoming the woman that you were created to be. Right. And not by not by doing more, but by by becoming more rooted, more regulated, and more aligned from the inside out. So like becoming her would be about expanding your internal capacity so that you can experience your life in motherhood with more confidence, more peace, and more energy, even in the midst of the chaos that motherhood can bring. You know, it's it's choosing to heal old patterns and embody new beliefs and rise into the version of you who leads her life with intention instead of survival. You know, and it's not about perfection, but about who you are identifying as. Yeah. And letting that identity lead to the life and the the motherhood experience that you really desire to have. So that's kind of my first idea that I feel very, very, very passionate about. And then the second idea was kind of making it more, I don't know the correct term, but more action-based. Okay. Even though the identity piece would be, I would incorporate that for sure. Um, but action-based surrounding like how to how to you, I would probably like I would like to title it like prioritize you first, the how and why behind filling your cup first as a mom, for like the importance of you know, that's kind of where I'm going with that. Cause I hear from so many moms, and I don't know, Michaela, if you've ever felt this way as a mom yourself, like that, well, you're the mom. So you have to put yourself on the back burner. Yeah. You're not a member of the family across the board, your sleep, yep, your nutrition, like literally everything. Cause you just have to serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, and give, give, give, give, give. And it's not that, well, yes, as a mother, like we are responsible for you know, tiny humans. Like, and even as they get older, like we are responsible for them across the board. But my question is, is how in the world can you pour from an empty cup? And I literally, I love that analogy of filling your cup and pouring from an empty cup. Like, if I had, I should have prepared a little bit better and had a glass of water here or something. But like you pour out that cup, and before you know it, you literally have nothing left to give. And you can sit there and you can try to like, you know, get the rest of it out. But listen, like, you're gonna be giving your kids scraps and your husband or your significant other scraps.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I just don't believe that motherhood has to be lived that way. And, you know, I can help moms learn how to fill their cup first so that they can give in the way that they really, really want to to their kids and to their spouse and to their friends, right? So there's two very different directions, but honestly, they can be very intertwined.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because I mean, so yeah, okay I could I could talk for days.
SPEAKER_01Good, good. Then that right there is such a sign that you are ready to write a book and that you don't have to be further along in your career or reach some kind of benchmark to where then now you have to write a book. Because a book can be something that helps you build to a career that you want, because a book is authority building, it opens up doors, it shows your expertise to people before they even start to work with you. And so, exactly what you're right here. Like, I'm I'm I feel very confident that you could spend the next two and a half hours talking to me about all of this. And that is like perfect for a book. And so I don't know if you're still believing that you have to be further along. It sounds like you're not, but you definitely don't have to be further along. No, I don't.
SPEAKER_03It's just, but you know, it's kind of like the devil on your shoulder. Like it's just, I feel like it's just kind of always gonna be there.
SPEAKER_01And I just keep having to like I know, swat it, get out of there. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Literally, it's always and even for my people who have done this for years or seven-figure business owners and all the things, there's just always that voice in their in the back of their mind telling them that they don't know enough, they're not good enough, they need to be further along, all of that. It's always there. So it's just a matter of knowing how to deal with it, and probably in a similar way that you have to deal with some of your nervous system, you know, when you're a mom, you know, like it's probably there's probably some similar overlap there. So, okay, let's talk about there's a couple of questions I like to tell people ask people before they really start getting into it and kind of help clarify some things. So, first of all, is a very simple question of why do you want to write a book? You could do a course, you could do a podcast, all things I would highly recommend. But what is it about a book in particular that really draws you?
SPEAKER_03Michaela, I had a feeling you were gonna ask this. Because it's a good thing. Because I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking about it. And you know what I can't do is give you one answer. You know, one just like this is why. But what I can do is say that when I first started my journey towards personal growth, it started with a book. It started, it was a slide edge. And um, I've now read, I mean, that book like three or four times throughout the last 10 years. And I just I believe in the power of books. Yeah. And I and and I am someone who like I love courses, I love programs, I love learning, you know, via YouTube and all of that stuff. But I think there's something so powerful about having a message in one place. Like I'm a hard copy person, I will probably never listen to an audiobook, to be completely honest. Sure. I see something so powerful in having the physical copy, being able to highlight and reread and just have it all right here and and and and reading the words. I just feel like you digest it in a whole different way. Yeah, and I just think that books are just such a gift. Yeah, they're timeless. Yeah, they're timeless. Um, and I mean that's probably the best way I could answer it right now.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I love that. So then why this message? Why is the message itself so very important to you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, between both of them, because again, they can be very intertwined. I mean, without going into too much detail, for time's sake, my history, I would say I'm almost like a hundred and eighty like degree difference than who I used to be. Um, because of the work that I'm aspiring to do here. And I was for over a decade of time, I was in a deep, deep, deep state of suffering at a very young age. Um, suffering that I I would oh my gosh, I wouldn't wish upon any, any human, no matter who you are. And so like I just I know what it's like to feel like I'm drowning in my day-to-day. I know what it's like to literally be living in survival mode from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed at night. And I also know what it's like to not feel that way at all in circumstances that were are way worse than what they were at that time in my life. Um, and so if I can help other women, whether you're you know, someone, a woman who doesn't have children yet or you are in the thick of motherhood, if I can help you make the same, if not a very similar, transformation that I made and being able to truly love your life even amidst some of the worst circumstances, what a dream. Like I feel like with the book, with starting my business, I never have been able to explain it up until the past like year or so. But I I feel like it's been like just God working through me, to be completely honest. Like I've never had a desire to start my own business. Sure. Like honestly, no desire. Yeah. But I feel like God's like you with your season of life, with your lifestyle being a military spouse, I feel like you need to be living life on your own terms. You need the flexibility, and you need to serve women in this way. And I think this is how you can do that. And the same thing with the book, I think there's just unlimited access to people. Yeah. Like the message has to get out there. Not that I'm the only person who has ever talked about these things, right? But there's something to be said about hearing different experiences from different people and learning, you know, again, just from different people.
SPEAKER_01100%. And we, I mean, it takes people at least seven times of hearing a message before it really resonates. And so for just because somebody else has written on the topic does not mean you shouldn't, and you your experiences, the way that you explain things, the frameworks, the practical exercises that you pick take people through are going to be very different than other people. And you know, everyone resonates differently with other people. And your experience as a military spouse too could be a really unique angle that you take for some of this too.
SPEAKER_03It is. And I've had like working with Ashley Brock, like she's she's brought that up before too. Of and that's a that's a big right being a military spouse is is a circumstances. Yeah, I mean, and a lot of spouses, I've heard, you know, they live victim to that. You know, and so that could be a really cool angle. And I could even have a chapter about that or a whole separate book about it to be completely.
SPEAKER_01Provided that, you know, your spouse is okay with it and it and you know, all the things, but that it very, very much could be a whole book. It could be a whole coaching business, honestly, because you could speak to the military life in a way that not other people can. And I mean, you know, I have family who was in the military and I know the nervous system, you know, issues with having to move and deployment and all of those different things, and to be able to speak to those directly is super fascinating. Does that interest you at all to like have to be that niche?
SPEAKER_03Yes and no. Yeah. I think about this a lot. I'm very conflicted about it. And I'm more on the no than the yes side of things. I think eventually I would like to speak to it more. Um, and the reason I would say no right now is because I feel like I'm I'm so in the thick of it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Of being a military spouse that I would really like to, if I were to have a book specifically for the military spouse who is struggling with this, this, and this, I would really like to be able to write from like a 30,000-foot view, not from a like, hey, I'm literally right here in it with you. Sure. Yep. Um, you know, we've got we've got like 10 more years. Okay. Nine, nine-ish more years. And so I would definitely like to give it more time before going that route.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. I think there's two different ways to, or there's multiple different ways of writing a book, but kind of the perspective that you take. And one perspective is I've lived it, let me tell you my experiences. Another is, hey, I'm in it with you. Let me encourage you because I'm in the trenches, you know, with you. Another way is like, I'm a journalist and I'm just researching, you know, people who've had this experience and I'm gonna compile it all together. And so kind of like the tone that you take in your book is gonna be different depending on, you know, how you wanna guide people. Do you want to tell them by this is my past experience or this is what I'm in it right now and this is what I'm learning, and I'm like reporting live from the front lines, you know, kind of thing. And it sounds like you want to be a bit more of a guide in your book than anything else, where like I've lived it, I've experienced it, and let me tell you what I've learned.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I do because I feel like that really speaks more to the credibility piece. And while I am, I do have young children and I am in the thick of motherhood, I I feel more confident about speaking to women in motherhood than I do to military spouses because I just have a different level of I don't want to say maybe confidence. There's still so much that I am navigating through that I have so much uncertainty and lack of clarity regarding being a military spouse that I I don't think while principles and a lot of my coaching is principle based, not just, you know, it's not rooted in theory. Yeah. Like I mean, it is principal, a lot of it is principle based and it which means you can apply it to anything. I just I feel a lot more confident talking to moms specifically. And so if some of them are military spouses, then fantastic. Right, right. But down the road, I mean, I I do think that I would like to speak to spouses, you know, younger spouses. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Once I'm a little bit more sure of a mature military spouse. Sure, sure. Yeah, that totally makes sense. Which that's one of my next questions is like, who is who are you talking to? Who is your reader? And what do you know about her? Is it you 10 years ago? Is it, you know, uh, who do you really want to be speaking to? Because you've got your moms of littles, you also have your moms of older kids, and they also have their own nervous system regulation that they can do too. But do you want to speak to a certain type of mom in a certain season of life? What are your kind of thoughts on that?
SPEAKER_03That's a really great question. And that's something that over the last year I have been really navigating through because I feel like you can attest to this to some degree. Like, I want to help them all. Yeah, 100%. But if you try to help everybody, you'll help no one. You know this. And so where I feel very passionate is about helping those moms in the same season of life that I'm in. So right now, that's like that's toddlerhood. That's the earlier stages of motherhood. And also the women who are whether it, I mean, maybe they're pregnant now and they're getting ready to start, you know, they're in the process of starting a family. That's where I feel very, very passionate. Yeah. And I think that's part of the reason is because again, that I'm in it right now. But I'm not gonna lie, like there's there's a huge part of me that wants to speak to that early, early 20s for reference. I'm 30. Um, and when I was in the thick of my personal suffering, I was in my late teens, early 20s.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03So there is a part of me that would love to eventually speak to her also. Remind me of the last part of your question.
SPEAKER_01It was really just Was it you like 10 years ago? Or, you know, do you want to speak to moms who are in the earlier stages, later stages? I'm curious though, what is it about motherhood? Because you're you're kind of, you know, you've got this dream of potentially speaking to the woman in her late or early 20s, who I'm guessing maybe doesn't have kids, but is going through a lot versus motherhood. What is it about motherhood that's really drawing you?
SPEAKER_03I think it just comes back to what I something that I mentioned earlier about like I can't imagine what my motherhood experience would be like if I would have never done this work. Yeah. I I I mean, I I can probably tell you. I mean, before kids, before doing this work, I was not okay. Yeah. Like the smallest things like my grandfather telling me he couldn't come over for family dinner would make me feel. Like my nervous system would have a response as if the world is ending. Not even kidding. Like I, anxiety attacks were a part of my everyday, just to name one thing. Um, and so now I can handle a tantrum and my mom's like, how are you so calmly?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03When we're FaceTiming. And I'm like, I just, you know, I just am. Like I, and so I mean, if I can help other moms experience motherhood the way that I've been able to, I mean, I think it could be really game-changing. Yeah. Life-changing for so many moms and so many women.
SPEAKER_01And their kids. I mean, it's a general thing. And their kids.
SPEAKER_03Oh gosh, just the impact on your own kids. I mean, because I grew up, I mean, my parents are absolutely incredible, but they started out life completely backwards regarding marriage and kids and careers and all the things. And so when I was in my early, early youth, I lived in a very dysregulated home. I mean, they didn't know how they were going to pay their bills, yeah, you know, all the things. And so I grew up that way. Like lots of yelling, you know. And like I just, and my mom tells me today, because I mean, they are now living a completely different life than you know, their early 20s. And my mom always tells me, like, you're just so much of a better mom than I ever like could have was to you. And I'm like, that makes me sad. And also thank you as it's a compliment. And like, can I I want to help other women be able to experience this too?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Sounds like motherhood, then sticking to the motherhood, maybe with a dream of someday also kind of talking to women in their teens, early 20s. And, you know, starting off like niching down is always helpful. And then you can always like, you know, expand from there. Yeah. And motherhood is a great place to start because everyone's nervous system just goes haywire. You know, wait, you start, it's like a whole new world. And and there you just need a lot of help in that season of motherhood. And you get really desperate very quickly.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I cling to all the tools, all the knowledge, everything that I've learned. Yeah. I apply it every single day, all day.
SPEAKER_01So good. So then what is this transformation that you would want to see happen for your reader? She's starting off very dysregulated. She is yelling more than she wants to. She's exhausted. Like, walk me through, let's start first, walk me through the problems that she's experiencing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, she probably, she probably wakes up dreading every single day, like doesn't want to get out of bed because she knows the moment her kids are up, she's, you know, got a mom. You know, she's got lots of crying, lots of whining, lots of neediness. You know, she probably well, she may not know it, but she probably has a like a heavy chest, like feels like she can't even be present, yeah, playing on the ground with her kids. She probably feels like just her whole life is chaotic. And so she has to be chaotic. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, she she probably feels panicked all the time. She probably feels like her life just is the way that it is.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And there's nothing that she can do about it. She probably thinks that her motherhood experience is the result of her children's behavior when that's absolutely not true.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03The way you experience your life is a direct reflection of your internal environment. Your external environment, it's just a contributing factor.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And some of them may be very heavy contributing factors, but it's all about your internal environment. Yeah. That is the baseline. That is the foundation. I mean, I could, I could go on, but name a few things.
SPEAKER_01So then what is the desired result? Like, who would you want them to be by the end of the book?
SPEAKER_03I would want them to, I would want these women and these moms to or aspiring moms to feel more empowered to not just to live their life in the way that they really, really want to, but to create, to, to be able to create a life that they really, really want. For me, part of my story is that, you know, again, I suffered for a long time. And for a long time, I believed that I had to because I was told by my doctor that I was just wired a certain way. Wow. So I believed that. I believed that identity. I believed that way of thinking for a very long time. Until one day I was like, I'm done with this. I made a decision and I decided, you know, I was inspired by people I was seeing online, books I was reading. Like, if they're living this way or they experienced this and now they're not anymore, that means I can too. Yeah. And so I just set out on a journey to create a life that I wanted to be living. Yeah. Again, not based off of like, I want to live in Florida in a beach house. I, you know, not the materialistic things, but truly the way I feel every single day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And yeah, if I can, if I can help those moms feel empowered to do the very same thing, to become someone who enjoys their life. Again, even in the midst of utter chaos. I mean, it's God's work.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. This is discipleship, honestly. Okay. So then let's talk about how we get her there. Because I think this is where we can start getting some clarity on your book direction. Because the key to a good nonfiction book that sells, that transforms, impacts people's lives is you are taking them through a transformation process. They are somebody different by the end of the book because you're changing the way that they think and the way, therefore, that they act. And so how that journey is, it's kind of it's called in fiction a hero's journey. And we want to take the reader through heroes' journey. So, how do we take them through that journey? And so we can look at your two book ideas. We've got the Healed Embodied Rise framework. And then we also have something that's a little more action-based that you were talking about as well. So as you're talking, I'm like, I can kind of see a little bit of both.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, it doesn't I would honestly, if I went the becoming her route for the title, I would incorporate the filling your cup first. Because for me, filling your cup just for context, it's prioritizing yourself as a whole person. That which means your physical health, your mental health, your emotional health, and your spiritual health. Yeah. All of those things. And not that there's going to be a perfect balance every, you know, all day, every day. But that's what that really means to fill your cup. And that would be incorporated into the becoming her. But then if I just, but then if I went the, you know, prioritize you first, the how and the why piece, the beginning of the book would be, I would start talking about the becoming her because you're familiar with the be do have principle. Yeah. Right? Yep. Well, then you know that it's not about doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing. Because your actions are a result of the way that you identify, which really means the way that you think. But really what comes before that are your beliefs.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03And so you know with if for transformation, again, it's not just about action. It's about what are you thinking and what do you believe? Because why am I just now starting this book journey? Because I finally believe that it's possible for me, that I'm fully capable, that I can do it with the right support. And the reason I haven't the last five or so years is because the thoughts I was thinking, the beliefs that I had were that I had to be further along.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_03And so then the actions that came from that was nothing.
SPEAKER_02Yep, exactly.
SPEAKER_03Just for example. And so honestly, I could go, I could go both ways. I would incorporate both into each book somehow, some way.
SPEAKER_01I kind of see, I feel like what you could do potentially is the opening, like first half of the book is really talking about beliefs and changing your mindset because that's half the battle, especially in motherhood. Because we're served so many different beliefs and ideas and lies that have to be rewired. So you could write a whole book just on that, easily for sure. Oh yeah. But I often feel like some people though want actionable next steps and they feel a little like, okay, but now what do I do? And so giving them so like the first half of the book is where you're really talking about beliefs. The second half is where you start talking more practically for them and not giving it all away, but right giving them some quick wins that get them excited to then keep like coaching with you. And one of those things.
SPEAKER_03Yes, that way they can implement immediately and feel really good about that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and starting getting some like momentum and progress. And then you have a chapter in there like on the power of accountability and how we don't get anything done well alone, though you need a team if you want to do something incredible. And that's where it kind of leads into like your coaching. And so if you used this book as like lead generation, so you wanted to like get clients through it, yes, then then it would kind of lead them to like, hey, I have group coaching, I have one-on-one coaching, I have a course, you know, all of these things that you could kind of like lead them into. So I kind of see I see this like really as one book, honestly. And I don't know if it's necessarily two. I think I see it as one.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, I really do too. And it's kind of the framework I have for my current masterclass. Yes. Quite honestly, the first third of my masterclass is all essentially about becoming her.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's all about the, you know, I talk about B do have. The second third of my masterclass is literally all about. Well, I don't really say filling your cup as much. I don't use that that phrase, but I talk about prioritizing yourself as a whole person, which leads to that's one of the ways to lead to a regulated nervous system. So I taught that's tied into that. Yeah. Um, and then that the the third or the the the third third of my master class is then about the coaching aspect, because you can listen to all the podcasts, you can read all the books, you can watch all the documentaries and all, you know, and all the things. But if you don't, if your beliefs are not right and you and and just to backtrack, sometimes you don't know that you even have limiting beliefs, and that's where the coach comes in. Yes, aka hey, hello, you're a book coach. Like, yes, I've got all I know a ton of the content I want inside the book, but I need someone from an outside perspective to help guide me.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_03Someone where, you know, who is like unbiased or a little less emotion. And that's again, that's where the coach comes in. And so honestly, I've thought about that a lot of like, honestly, my masterclass right now is almost like a perfect outline for a book. I would just obviously it's like a 60-ish minute masterclass. So then I would just expand on everything inside of it.
SPEAKER_01I wish that there was a video recording of me. What I'm doing right now is like, yes, like 1000%. Your masterclass can be essentially a very, very thin outline. Like obviously, we would need to expand on it, but if you're talking about something for 60 minutes, that's like half of a book almost right there. And then we would just expand on it with stories. You can bring in some studies, we can go deeper into some ideas that you just can't, you know, on a masterclass. We could go so much deeper into all of that. And especially if you already have like three kind of I, you know, sections already, then that's three sections of your book. And I think this is something I wish entrepreneurs knew more of is like you are doing the work of writing a book right now. It's just not all consolidated in a book. And that's where coaching comes in is to help you consolidate it all into a book format and translate it from, you know, a masterclass, a podcast, whatever, and then go from there. So yeah, I mean, you kind of how many times have you done your masterclass?
SPEAKER_03Honestly, I've probably only because I I first started doing it, I would say last September, October.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03And so I did it, I think I've done it six or seven times.
SPEAKER_01Awesome-ish. Okay. Okay. So I love that because you've gotten feedback on it. You know what works.
SPEAKER_03I've gotten a lot of feedback, and I've also every single time I host like hosted it again, I refined so much. Like refine, refine, refine. Like, what are they saying? And I'm using then plugging and playing. Yep. And oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Okay. So you've got something like pretty solid here then already that you can like explain.
SPEAKER_03I feel pretty confident about it, honestly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, good, as you should. Because you've got, I mean, that's the structure and that's the basis because you're you're getting them through a transformation and you're empathizing with them with how they believe something, and then you're trying, you know, like get guiding them into this like final result. And then, of course, you want them to keep the momentum going and they want to go deeper with you. And that's where like the coaching comes in and your paid offer after that. This is so exciting. Do you feel like those two book ideas? Do you feel do you see them like coming together now?
SPEAKER_03It's funny you say the word see because I can actually visualize the book.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03Like I kind of like I have put myself into the future of maybe not necessarily like the cover of the book, like what it's going to look like. Yeah. But I can just, I can see it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I can see it like laid out and organized. Like I've known I'm going to start the book. Well, after confirming it with a book code, but in my head, I'm like, I know I'm going to start off with beliefs because it doesn't matter what I say if they don't have their beliefs in the right hundred percent place. So I'd start with beliefs and then more action-based and then how that like how. Okay. So now what? You know this information. So hey, coaching, right?
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Yes, yes. And each chapter, you know, we would have to figure out like kind of we'd look at your like whole masterclass and see like what how would you divide it up? Because you want to make sure your chapters are like bite-sized, you know, that people could like and you have one takeaway for each chapter. I think a lot of people get so excited, they're like, we gotta do all these things. But like one thing, one main idea for each chapter, and then you know, progress people through the whole transformation. And so, like, what's the most basic thing that they need to know or believe? And then we build on top of that, and top of that, and top of that, so that ultimately then they have the whole idea. So it's kind of like um, my son is learning to read this year, and so we taught him first like what the letters look like and then what the letters sound like. And then now when you put two letters together, what does that sound? And like we're just building on these principles so that he can read. It's the same thing that you want to do with your book too, is like, what's the most basic thing that they need to know or believe? So then you can build on top of that so that then they get this result that they really, really want. And that's what gets people feeling like it's possible for them. Like, oh, I can do this. Oh, and then I can do this and this. And this is so real for me. And it like builds that belief for them that it's possible, which then gets you more clients because they want to keep going with you and it impacts their lives, it changes their lives because they can actually get this accomplished.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Yay, okay, I love that. One of the last questions I ask people to is um when you are writing on a topic, especially a topic that other people have already written on, which is pretty much every topic, how do you add a different flavor to the conversation? So if you imagine your book was uh walking into a coffee shop with a bunch of other books on this topic and you were contributing to the conversation, how would you contribute to it? Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_03Can you ask it in a different way?
SPEAKER_01There are lots of different ways to cook chicken, right? You can grill it, you can boil it, you can fry it. There's lots of different ways, but at the basis of it, it's just chicken. And so your topic is nervous system regulation. That is a topic that other people have talked about. How are you going to grill it, fry it, boil it a little bit differently than other people so that it stands out differently in the marketplace than a somebody else's book?
SPEAKER_03Okay, yes. So honestly, it's just by sharing my perspective.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. My perspective. And I mean, my perspective is one that, again, it's not rooted in theory, but it's rooted in lived experience with a very optimistic and realistic mindset. Yeah. And I think that both of those things go a really long way. That that that lived experience mixed with the positivity because it lets people know, well, you know, she didn't one just make this stuff up. Yeah. Two, she's been there, done that. So there's like that credibility piece. Like, I didn't just, huh, nervous system, fascinating. I'm gonna teach people how to you know, yeah. No, like I have gone through this transformation myself.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And if I can, and if I did, that means you can too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01So yes, does that answer your yes? Yes, it does. Do you want to also touch on faith? Are is this for women who are Christians? Are where do you want to land on talking about your faith as part of it?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I love that you're asking this question. It will absolutely be incorporated and it'll be in that, right? So we are made of mind, body, and soul. There's no, there's no question about that, right? And so those three things break down into again, your physical wellness, your mental wellness, your emotional wellness, and your spiritual wellness.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And while spiritual isn't, it's not only, you know, your faith and like religion and things, it's also like what's good for your spirit, like having fun and and things like that. But that that piece is very significant and it's also a very significant part of my story, too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, it will absolutely be incorporated. And so, but to answer your question, you say, you know, you said, would it be for a woman who like is Christian, who isn't? I both.
SPEAKER_01Sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because there's so many people who, you know, they say they're Christian, but they don't, they don't practice their faith.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So it doesn't, so for both, um, or for you know, people who just aren't really sure about any of it, just talking about like again, you are made of my body and soul. And if you do not, if you do not fuel your body, not just with food, yeah, but with the right inputs regarding what you're listening to, what you're seeing from a faith perspective or not, it's like not taking care of a flower in the way that you need to.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like, I mean, you putting it in the right soil, the right sunlight, how much water does it need? Um, in my masterclass, I talk about a I use a car as an example. Yeah. And different, four different like main areas of a car. Like if you do not stay on top of your tire, you know, your tire rotations and putting the right gas in your car and making sure your navigation, which really is like that kind of like that spiritual, that compass and that navigation, that's the spiritual side, then you're not gonna have a well-performing car. And so if you don't do the same thing for yourself as a as a human being, you can't expect to operate and to therefore experience your life in the way that you really want to.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. So, one of the reasons why I asked is because that can be another way to kind of narrow your focus a little bit and like have that unique angle is hey, I am, yes, I'm talking about nervous system regulation, but I'm talking about it from a Christian perspective for moms of young toddlers and having that kind of you know, unique angle that you're taking on this topic because there are other nervous system regulation books, and they all take it from slightly separate angles, you know, of like talking about it as an entrepreneur or talking about it as a, you know, whatever your role is. And so that's another way you can kind of narrow it down a little bit and just have a different flavor to the quote unquote chicken that you are offering to people, is that it's from a Christian perspective and it's for moms of young toddlers.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm definitely not, I'm not opposed. I don't, as of right now in this moment, I don't want to make it a main focus. Okay, like saying for Christian moms, yeah, necessarily, because if I can help, and again, I know you can't try to help everyone, reach no one, but if I can bring in women who are maybe, maybe they are Christian and just not practicing, but help them see the power and the importance of making that a priority in their life. Yeah, I mean, I really love to reach those people too. So I mean, I don't know, maybe that's something that we can continue talking about.
SPEAKER_01It's helpful to know if you're speaking directly to Christians or not Christians because it will change your language. Because if you're talking to somebody who's been in the church for their whole life, then you can kind of throw around some scripture and biblical stories and they automatically get it. And you don't have to build that kind of trust with them in that way. If you're talking to somebody who is not a believer, who's been hurt by the church, you know, you're gonna take a very different perspective with them because you need to be careful with how you approach them. Certain topics. So it can be really helpful. And I have found that it it makes your writing a lot better when you're super clear on who it exactly is that you are talking to. If you want to talk to the mom who, you know, is kind of skeptical about faith and not so sure about it, but she just really needs help and she's really drawn to you because she loves the peace that you have, then you would just have a slightly different angle that you would approach God, Bible, church, you know, and all of that with her versus someone who's already bought in and committed to it.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I yeah, then you make a really good point.
SPEAKER_01I get that though that struggle where you're like, but everybody needs it. And I want everybody to get this. And it's so important. And and you know, like as we know we're both Christians and we both are want everyone to hear and know the love of Jesus. It's really important to us. But the way that we talk to people about it is going to be very different, you know, depending on who they are and where they're coming from. And you can inadvertently, you know, have people pull away from it because you didn't approach it the way that would be helpful for them. And so just knowing where they are and where they're coming from can be very helpful for you.
SPEAKER_03I mean, then I'd probably, I'd probably speak to a woman who is Christian, who is an established Christian for sure. Yeah, because even even when when I break down the be to have principle, I literally use I pull it from the book of Genesis because it's one of the very first things that God says to man is to write, be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth, and subdue it. Have Domanian. That's be do have right there. And so I do kind of break that down. I mean, I don't spend a ton of time on it, but I break that down and I pull it from scripture.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah. Well, and so what's interesting is J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter for like nine-year-old boys, right? Like that was her target market. And now it has become this huge phenomenon. Like it is expanded. I love Harry Potter. I'm not a nine-year-old boy. I love Harry Potter because she wrote so well to that audience that it has just grown and the impact just has like reverberated. Same with like um Sally Lloyd Jones, who wrote the story uh Jesus Storybook Bible. If you've heard of the Jesus Storybook Bible, it's a very simplified retelling of scripture and it's designed specifically for kids. But there are uh businessmen in China, there have been prostitutes in other countries who love that book because it breaks down kind of complicated ideas, abstract ideas from the Bible. It breaks it down in such a simple way that it is resonated with so many more people outside of her like kind of target market. And so for you, like you are focusing on, you know, Christian moms, but it's not exclusive. It's not like, you know, you have to be a Christian to read it. It's like, but I'm speaking to these people. If you want to come and be a part of these people, you are absolutely welcome. Like we would love to have you here. But this is who we are, and this is what we are about. And if you want to be about this too, join us. But you are kind of when you really focus in on your target market, you end up actually kind of bringing in other people who are attracted to the values and principles that you're speaking on, and because you have such clarity on who you are and what you're talking about. And when it's split, it can uh it feels a little more divided and people aren't as excited to join it.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, that makes perfect sense. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay. So feeling a little bit better about Christian moms of early toddler, like early motherhood, or do you feel good about narrowing it to early?
SPEAKER_03I do. Um the only that where some hesitancy comes in is that right, like my kids are gonna keep getting older. Yeah. And so I, you know, because it's a book, it's a physical thing. I want it to be a little timeless.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Yep.
SPEAKER_03Too. So I mean, obviously, I know the importance of specificity.
SPEAKER_01Sure.
SPEAKER_03So, you know, just saying motherhood is kind of it's a little generalized. I think you can be that. Probably have to play around with that a little bit.
SPEAKER_01I think you can be okay with not going that specific because motherhood is still pretty specific. Christian and motherhood is still pretty specific. What you could do is add a couple of sections, maybe even at the end of some of your more practical chapters or all of your chapters, in which you have specific things for each like age group or something. Okay. And so it's like early toddlerhood, some things that are helpful because you're not sleeping through the night. Like, what are some nervous system regulation when you're not sleeping versus when they're teenagers? And you may not be able to speak to the teenage years personally, but if you have friends or mentors or people you could talk to who could help you, you know, kind of speak to that, then you could have that. And so it's the content itself is a bit more on just motherhood. And then you either have sections at the end of the chapter or like an appendix or something like that that speaks to like the specifics of when I love that you brought that, brought that, are bringing this up because I also so I have a I have a resource and it's called the postpartum reset.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And it's basically this, it was an unwritten protocol that I had for myself when I had my daughter, and then applied all the same things when I had my son. Yeah. Because due to my history, I was supposedly I was very prone to postpartum anxiety and depression. And I was like, Well, I'm gonna do everything in my power to help prevent it. And so I did, and I've done it twice. Not to say I didn't have to write like really hard or easy days, yeah, but overarching, like I did not did not go there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And so I have this resource and I want to take this resource and like make it either just a chapter at the end or like a bonus chapter. Because it's like, oh, what about the postpartum? Because like you know mom, you know, established mom versus like postpartum mom, because postpartum can last that that's last up to two years. Um, how can I still you know feel this way even though I'm postpartum? Because like my postpartum experiences were like, I feel like drastically different than a lot of moms, yeah, because of that protocol, that reset, all of this.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. That could be ooh, what could that be?
SPEAKER_03I've even thought about writing like a short or even like an ebook, just expanding that entire because it's like an 18-ish page resource right now. I, you know, and obviously there's some photos and stuff in there, but but even making that like a little bonus chapter.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. That could be an appendix in the back, but I would hate for that to get lost because appendix is like, yeah, I wouldn't like it in the appendix.
SPEAKER_03I kind of have like four different I book ideas.
SPEAKER_01Because most pardon Reese, that could be a really interesting book, too.
SPEAKER_03Um, I've had so many people who have read through it who are moms, savage moms, and then they've been like, oh my gosh, where where was this when I was a mom? Yeah, like, are you gonna turn this into a book?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I guess I can should I? I don't know. Because I would hesitate to put it in this. Well, okay, let's talk this out. Because this book is all for I would hesitate to put it in this book that we're talking about right now because it is a bit more specific. Okay. And I would hate for it to for people to be like, oh, well, I'm past uh my kids are three and five. Like, I'm not worried about postpartum. And so this book isn't for me when it is. Right.
SPEAKER_03No, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01So I almost feels like an ebook or like a freebie or something like that that you do, and then you talk about it in the book. Like you linked. Oh, that's a good idea.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, because I have it. That's right. That's why I created it was for to use as a freely magnet.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I just I haven't talked about it at all lately. Yeah. I was talking about it a lot heavily when I was in the thick of postpartum myself.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, that's why I created it.
SPEAKER_01Because one of the things with your book is that you want to try and get people into your ecosystem. When you sell a book on Amazon, you do not get access to whoever bought it's name or email. Because technically, Amazon, that's Amazon's customer. Now, there's ways around that. You could sell direct and then you, you know, get your customers' information that way. But for books that are bought on Amazon, which will likely be a majority of your books when you're first getting started, you want to get them into your ecosystem as much as you possibly can. And so having QR codes to podcast episodes or freebies will be what gets them out of your out of the book and into your ecosystem. And so if you have like a little section or something on the uh postpartum reset and then a QR code for people to go and download it, and then you get all their information. Okay. The reset could be a really, really good one that you talk about a couple of times throughout the book to perfect direct people to. Yeah, that's a really good way to get them out of your book for sure. And like into your you know overall ecosystem and your email, masterclass, all the things. Perfect. Yeah. Oh, oh my goodness, this is so good. I love this. How are you feeling?
SPEAKER_03Good. I feel so good. I again, I've been saying that I'm gonna write a book one day for five years now, and so it it feels good to actually be doing something, some actionable steps, even though all the work that I've been doing, you know, with my master classes and um my email newsletter and all of that, like I have been writing. I've been unintentionally like writing the book.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So many entrepreneurs and people like you have been doing the work of writing a book. It's just now putting it all together. So in an organized way. Yeah, exactly. James Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits, he had been blogging for years and years and years. And the reason why he wanted to write Atomic Habits was because he wanted a comprehensive guide to everything he had been writing. So it was a nice organized way for people to understand what he was trying to say instead of cobbling together all of his blog posts. And so for you, it's like this is an organized, comprehensive way for people to start this journey and then continue it with you as a coach. So you are apt, you are totally ready to write. I mean, in terms of content, like you've got the content, you've got the experience, you've got the passion, the drive. Like you're totally ready in that regard to write the book. So I would say your next step really is to start outlining it and is to take your masterclass and start breaking it out and outlining it. And that's something that you know, you know, I can talk about later too. But like that is what I do in my outline intensives is we take what you have and break it down so that we get that transformation for people. What is it that they need to know? What are those basic principles that we can build on so that they can become the person that they want to become? And so that they ultimately become a client of yours as well, too. And so kind of the specifics is what um I do in my outline intensives, they're two days, and we just work through all of that content and like get into the meat of it so that by the end you have a full outline that's very thorough. It's an outline of the book, but it's an outline of your chapters too, of like, okay, you start your chapter with this story, and then it leads into this principle that we're gonna talk about. Then we're gonna talk more like in-depth about the principle and the idea, and then we're gonna lead them into the next chapter. And so it's kind of like a personalized, like fill-in the blank type of writing.
SPEAKER_03I love it. I love that. And that's what I've been why I'm like, when I saw your email about doing this podcast episode, I was like, I think she just wrote this for me. Because I mean, do you remember when I said we were just spotted out like my eyes got really?
SPEAKER_01I love it. Yes, yes. Well, that's the that's the hope too, is that when you have an outline, then in the cracks in the margins of your day, when your kids are sick for two weeks and you're like just kind of like, okay, here we go. I'm leaning on my nervous system regulation. I feel good, you know. But I need, I can't just sit down and like now willpower through writing a book. Like, I need something here to tell me what to write and when. So in the outline intensive, is like we do all the thinking together. And then when it's time for you to just write, then you just write. You know what story you need to write, you know how it leads into the next and all of that. So that then you can fit it into the margins of a super busy life as a military life.
SPEAKER_03I love that because that's the way I mean we are, yeah, we're in the thick of just toddlerhood and military life things right now with lots of uncertainty and things changing all the time. And so having again that outside, that that coaching, because like I have, yeah, all the content is here. But if I need someone to ask me the right questions, the right answers, the right context, the right content. But it's it's all there and it's been there. I just I need some help.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. And when it's like so close to you, too, it's hard to be like, wait, is this good? Is this right? What am I even trying to say here? Like, you just need like a sounding board of yes, let me talk this out. I mean, even brain science is sometimes we get so stuck in one side of our brain, we literally have to talk it out so that then it starts to like be clear.
SPEAKER_03That's very much so how I process.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, anything.
SPEAKER_03Like, I gotta, I gotta journaling. I need to be better. I used to journal all the time, but it's too slow for me. I'm a very like, just like talk it out. So sometimes I record vote voice memos of myself. Yes, genius. Talking stuff out, or just call my mom and say, hey, I just got talked something out real quick and then we can hang out.
SPEAKER_01I love that. And honestly, that's a way too to write your book, too, is like you are driving the kids, you just pop up in a voice note and you just but you know I need to work on chapter three, this story. And so you just talk it out, and now you've got like half of chapter while you were driving your kids around, you know, like there's it's just yes, so so many wonderful ways. Okay, I'm so excited about this. We will keep talking about this more, but I hope did this get you like a lot more clarity? Are you feeling how are you feeling about everything?
SPEAKER_03I feel so good, and I feel like more than anything, just I'm a big, I am more someone who will, for example, I will buy for the person, not as much what they offer.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Yep.
SPEAKER_03And so getting to know you a little bit more, you know, we we did meet in person last June or July and chatted a little bit. Um, but really getting to know you more and hearing, hearing you coach says a lot about you and your heart and your mission and the way that you think. And I feel like it's very much so in alignment with me and that matters so much in a partnership. Yes, yes. So, I mean, just that alone, let alone the actual book content. Yeah, I feel I feel so much more clear and also validated.
SPEAKER_01Good.
SPEAKER_03Talk to me more about that because there's a lot of outside noise. Yeah, you know, there's lots of outside noise, um, especially from people who are very close to you. And that's really hard sometimes to continue taking steps forward because I mean, most humans like we really love validation. Yeah. And we need it. But also, I mean, you need it from the right people.
SPEAKER_01Yes, absolutely. The right people.
SPEAKER_03And so just hearing from you, like, Shenna, this, you have you have a book, like yeah, it's all there. Like you just need the support and the coaching and a way of organizing it all. I mean, that I needed that for like a validation perspective.
SPEAKER_01Good. I'm so glad to hear that. And yeah, we went back and forth a couple of times in our emails too, to be like, hey, like, you know, it's not not everybody is ready to do it. And I don't mean that in a negative way. Like sometimes you just need a little bit more time to process the information or you need a bit more information or like experience in it or whatever it is. But once it's there, it's it's it's go time. And I'm totally seeing that for you. Like you've got it, you've got it all there. So yeah, I'm so glad to hear that. This was so fun. Um fun. Tell tell everybody a little bit more about where they can find you because they're listening to this and they're also moms, and they would love to feel the way that you do. So, where can everybody find you online?
SPEAKER_03Yes, right now, I would say the best place would be on Instagram. That's where I spend the most time. Awesome. Um, and my Instagram handle is the dot Shenna dot black. And Shenna is S-H-E-N-A. And if you have questions about anything, my DMs are open. I might not respond right away because hello, mom of two little. Um, but I will get back to you. And yeah, that's probably that's probably the best place.
SPEAKER_01Okay, perfect. Awesome. We'll also put that in the show notes too, so that people can find you as well. And eventually they can start following along so that they can buy your book. Yeah. That I can just totally see coming really, really soon. Amazing. So excited. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining us. This was such a fun conversation, and I'm so, so glad that you got a ton more clarity. And we'll see you on the Amazon best selling charts real soon, Sheena. Yeah!