29: So You Don't Know What to Write About

In this solo episode of For Women Who Write Podcast, Mikaela tackles one of the biggest struggles aspiring authors face: figuring out what to write about.

If you’ve ever thought, “I want to write a book, but I don’t know what my book should be about,” or “I have too many ideas and no clarity,” this episode will help you move past the mental block and finally gain direction.

Drawing from both coaching and parenting, Mikaela shares how asking the right questions can move you out of overwhelm, overthinking, and “freeze mode” and into clarity and action.

Inside this episode, you’ll learn:

•  The 7 powerful questions to ask before writing your book 
•  How to uncover the deeper reason you want to write 
•  Why anger and frustration can point you toward your strongest message 
•  How to identify the problem your book is meant to solve 
•  The difference between a legacy book and a marketplace book 
•  How to narrow your topic so your message actually stands out 
•  Why specificity matters if you want readers to find and trust you 
•  How to know if your book idea has real transformation potential 

Whether you’re overflowing with ideas or completely stuck, this episode will help you gain clarity, confidence, and momentum toward your book.

Sometimes the breakthrough comes from asking better questions and giving yourself permission to explore the answers honestly.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to For Women Who Write Podcast. I'm Mikayla, a certified writing coach, editor, and self-publishing expert with over a decade of experience helping women turn their ideas into powerful, best-summoned books. If you felt the call to write, share your story, share your experiences, how you can help other people, then you are in the right place. Here we talk about the real competence of writing and publishing. From finding your voice to structuring a book, from overcoming resistance and imposter syndrome to launching it into the world with confidence. My mission is to show you that becoming a published and best-selling author isn't as possible. It's absolutely within reach. Your story matters, and chances are you're closer to holding your finished book in your hands than you think. Welcome to another episode of For Women Who Write. You guys, you guys, you guys. This episode today is going to be really fun. When do I say that an episode is not fun? I just really love being here with you guys and chatting and hopefully helping you find your next best step because that's what this podcast is all about, is helping you figure out your next best step and how we can help you come alive to your creativity, come alive to maybe a suppressed part of you or maybe a part of you that's just always wanted to write a book and you're not sure what to do and what your next steps are, that's what we're going to do today is to get a ton more clarity for you on your book and maybe this really big dream that you've had for a really, really long time. So if you have ever said, I really want to write a book, but I don't know on what, or I really want to write a book, but I have way too many ideas. If you've ever said either of those two statements, this episode is exactly for you. I have so many women's faces in my mind right now as I'm recording this episode because I've had so many of these conversations where there's just this big mental block. Like you have this desire, but there's this huge block in the way, and you can't get over it. And you just need a ton more clarity. And that's what we're going to get today. And we're going to do that by taking a little trick out of my parenting toolbox. And we're going to do that by taking a little tool out of my parenting toolbox. I have a five-year-old who's almost six. Oh my goodness, almost six, and a three and a half-year-old little boys. So I am very much still in the early journey of parenting. So this tool is something I have gotten from much wiser people than me and tons more clinical research than I have done. But like most moms, I have done an insane amount of research on parenting, probably too much and probably likely out of anxiety, but that's just where we are. And try to find, you know, the best ways to really help navigate my kids, especially through these younger years. We are navigating, of course, big emotions and uh tantrums and having something that they can't have. And this is the first time their little brains have ever interacted with this, and their brains are literally not fully formed yet. And so there's parts of their brains that cannot cognitively understand or process certain situations. And my job, my privilege as their mom is to help them navigate all of those experiences with grace, with wisdom, and with truth. One of those ways that we have learned how to do that is through the art of asking questions. So there's a book called Love and Logic, and this is not an like endorsement of that book. There's parts of it I love, parts of it we don't necessarily do. I'm not necessarily endorsing that book. But what was really helpful for us in the book was asking questions. So one of the ideas is that when your child is having a meltdown or a tantrum or being super disobedient, you can instead engage them with a question. Now, of course, this does not always work. And again, this is not a parenting podcast, but in asking the child a question, it can force them to start using their logical side of their brain. When they're in a tantrum, when they're stuck on something, their brain can go into a form of fight, flight, or freeze. And they can't make any forward action. They've got this big mental block that's in the way. But a question forces them to get out of that fight, flight, or freeze and instead use their critical thinking so that then they can make forward action. So something simple as like having a meltdown about wearing a jacket outside when it's cold. You can ask, hey, do you want to wear this red jacket or this orange jacket? And the question, in theory, again, in theory, should help to activate the child's thinking to where they get to choose one or the other. It allows them to have freedom, but more importantly and more relevantly to what we're talking about right now is that it helps them to think more clearly. And that's exactly what we want when you have this mental block of wanting to write a book but not really sure how to move forward, how to progress. You've got this stuck part of you that doesn't know how to move forward. And if it's a big desire for you, if it's something you really, really are passionate about, and I'm guessing you are, I don't think you would be listening to this podcast episode if you weren't, then you may be stuck in freeze with the fight or flight. You probably aren't fighting, you're not running from it, but you're stuck, you're frozen, and you don't know how to move forward. One of the best ways to move out of that freeze part of your brain is to start asking yourself questions and to start answering those questions, to force your brain into a logical form of reasoning, to use your neocortex instead of your amygdala. And your amygdala is often where thoughts get stuck. So if you can force those thoughts into your neocortex by answering questions, you can get a ton more clarity. And this is why I am like a huge believer in coaching with good questions. Like good coaching with good questions can move you forward in ways you've never even imagined because it forces you to start putting language on things. It forces your brain to literally move thoughts around in different ways so that then you can start taking some action. So today I'm going to ask you a series of good questions, questions that have helped me move forward personally and have helped so many of my clients move forward to their own goals, their own best-selling goals as well. These questions are going to help you know an answer or at least get closer to an answer of what do you want to write about and will your book work in the marketplace? How do you narrow down your ideas and for them to be successful the way that you want them to be successful? So we're going to walk through all of those questions and hopefully by the end of this episode, you have a little bit more clarity on what you would want to write about. What may be helpful for you too, if you're listening to this while washing dishes or like running errands, is to either write down these questions or come back at another point when you've got a journal in front of you and start writing out the answers to these questions. If you're a crazy person like me, you could also like pause this episode. And if you're in the car by yourself, talk out the answers to yourself in the car. Truly like processing externally in the car with no one else in there has helped me make so many breakthroughs. And so I give you permission to do that if you need to do that too. Just hit pause after each one of these questions and talk this out loud. Of course, of course. We'll talk about this more at the end. But these workshops that I have been hosting monthly, these clarity session workshops, are fantastic to talk out some of these things as well. Sometimes, even if you talk them out loud, you can still get stuck in a little bit of a cycle and never actually make progress. So if you start answering some of these questions and it actually brings up more questions, then a workshop may be really good for you. It's a safe space, small group, and we will walk through some of these questions or whatever questions are relevant for you that you're getting stuck on and help you get some clarity, help you start to put some containers in place so that then you can move forward with a ton of confidence and excitement because this should be fun. Writing a book should be fun. It's a really big deal. And we never want to put so much pressure on ourselves that it's not fun anymore. We want to enjoy the process and enjoy what it can do for you, both internally and of course externally as well. So let's dive into all of these questions that are really going to bring you a ton of clarity. Okay, the very first question that I want for you to ask yourself is why do you want to write a book? Why do you want to write a book? The question of why can really help you get deeper into your motives and help you start to explore what's going on behind the scenes. What is it about a book that entices you so much? Because the reality is if you have a message that's really important to you, a book is not the only way to get it out. You could do speeches, you could start a business, you could create a course, you could go have conversations with your local policymakers. There's so many different ways that you could get a message out. Why is it that you want to write a book specifically? A book is a lot of work and it can be very vulnerable work as well. So, what is it specifically about a book? About the glue between the pages, about being able to see your work in print that is so important and so special to you. An exercise that's really helpful for me, that I've done in the past, is to go seven layers deep on this why question. Because sometimes it takes a really long time to really get to the core of why you want to do something. And so if you say, if like if you have an answer to this question of why you want to write a book, is like, well, because I've just always loved books. Okay, that's good, but that's just not getting us anywhere. So ask another level deep. Why have you always loved books? Well, as a kid, they were really helpful for me because, you know, I was able to learn from people that I never was able to meet before. Okay, great. Why was it important for you to learn from other people? And it just keeps digging deeper and deeper and deeper into your core reason why. You may need to go seven, uh, nine layers deep. You may only need to go three or four layers deep. It doesn't really matter the layer of depth. It just matters that you go really deep, that you aren't afraid with digging down, understanding your past, understanding who you are, what your goals are in life, the values you have, all of these things. Getting down really deep there can help quite a bit. For me, when I've done this exercise, I have lots of different reasons why I want to write books and why I want to help other people write books. But one of those layers for me is that books are a connection point to other people. I loved reading books as a kid because I was able to connect with people that I might not otherwise get to connect with, like in fiction stories. And when I got a little bit older, I loved books because I was able to connect with mentors and really smart people in ways that I could have never connected with them before. They became mentors to me. Just like that parenting book that I was talking about before, I don't really have access to those people who wrote those books. I can't get into their counseling sessions, but a book allows me to connect to them, to learn from them, to glean their wisdom in ways that I would never be able to before. It's all about connection for me and finding that unique relationship with other people that I could never have without a book about connecting with people. And so that's really important for me and connection and that relationship with other people drives me in so many ways. And it's why I love books because it is a way to connect with other people in ways that I absolutely couldn't before. So for me, that's one of my motivating factors. For you, it could be completely different. Maybe this is a bit more monetarily for you. You really want to write a book because you know that it can impact and grow your brand in different ways. And that is just as great of a reason. Whatever it is, dig deep and find out why you want to write a book. When you do that work, it may start to just like explode to you what exactly it is that you want to write about because maybe your topic hasn't been talked about in a book form, or maybe because there was a book that recently came out that was the exact opposite of what you believe, and you have to speak out and you have to speak it out in a book form because that's the only way it makes sense. Whatever your reason is, you may start to see what your book idea is all about, what it is that you really want to write about as you keep digging deeper and deeper into your why. Or digging into, you know, you have lots of different ideas, but this one idea keeps coming up as you dig into your why. So maybe you have a little bit of clarity after that. If you don't, it's okay. Obviously, we've got tons more questions for you. But that's a really great place for you to start to figure it out. It's also a really great place for you to go back when you're struggling, when you are working on your book and you're in the thick of it or you're about to market it, or whatever it is, whatever obstacle comes your way in the process, going back to review your why can really keep you going. It can keep you grounded and connected and not distracted from the difficult and see that the difficult and the hard is totally worth it for this why that really grounds you. So, whatever you write, keep that close to you for some of the harder days. Okay, the second question that you can ask yourself is what makes you angry? What makes you really fired up? Things that are just not okay with you. These could be things that you've experienced personally, that you've seen in the world, maybe that some of your loved ones have experienced, whatever it is, what makes you really fired up? I want you to make a list of those things. Now, some of the things on that list you may not necessarily write a book about per se. I know that there are things that I get very fired up about, but I'm not going to write a book. A book is not the avenue, at least for now, to express that. There's other ways that I can, in a healthy and respectful way, express that anger. But a book is not one of them. And that may be the same case for you too. Maybe it's a topic that really gets you angry, but you're gonna find a different outlet for that. But look through your list. What is it that you get really amped up about and you think that you could write a whole book all about that? And the reason why I use anger instead of, you know, joy or sadness is because anger is actually an emotion that is encouraging us to move forward. It's an emotion of motion, of encouraging you to speak up. And when you repress it, it can go in some really unhealthy, bad ways. But if you channel anger in the correct way, you can move it to speak up, move it towards people. You can move it in a very healthy way. Sadness, even joy, all of these kind of other emotions aren't necessarily emotions that move you forward. Anger is designed in a healthy way to move you forward. And that's what we want, right? We want forward action for you in your book. And so that's why I say anger. Now, obviously, don't stay in your anger. If you need to go for a run afterwards or whatever, that's totally great. But if you have such a strong response to one of those things on your list that you do need to go and take a run, maybe, maybe that is what you need to write about. So make a list of everything that makes you really angry and then pinpoint one or two on there that you think you could actually write a book on. Could you talk for two and a half hours? Could you have a healthy, respectful debate on this topic for the next several hours with somebody? That could potentially be what you could write your book about. That could be your book idea. And it also doesn't have to necessarily be something that's like make the headlines or something that's like really big. It could be something still that really like frustrates you. For me, it really frustrates me that so many authors want to write books and then they get scammed or they're not cared for. They're just like part of a system. Like that really annoys me. I am not okay with that. It's not necessarily going to make headlines, but it's a problem. And I have a solution for them. And that is what motivates me in my own writing and in my own business because I don't want that to happen to other people. Women are stepping out, living out their creativity in a very vulnerable way. They need a protector and not just a protector, but they need somebody to come alongside of them. They need somebody who's going to walk with them and care for them throughout this whole process. And that really fires me up. So, whatever it is for you, it may not necessarily be some big major hot button political issue. It doesn't have to be. It could also just be something that really gets under your skin. Which leads us to the very next question, this third question, which is what is a problem that you have seen or experienced and you have a solution for it? Because chances are you are probably angry about something because you're like, hello, no, no, don't go that way, wrong way, turn around, it's this way. I have a solution for you over here. And that's likely why you're getting really amped up about it, is because you see a better way and it drives you crazy that they're not going that way. It's like when you see somebody going up a mountain like the wrong way. Like they're not even taking the trail or the path. They're like just trying to like beat their way up the mountain. You're like, there's literally a trail right here. I can show you a better way. And you get really amped about that because you want to show them the better way. You want to make things better for them. It's out of love for other people that that anger is coming up. And so, what is it that you have a problem that you know you have a really good solution for? Now, this problem solution does not have to be clean and neat and tidy in a three-part framework. We all love three-part frameworks because that just makes our lives easier. But sometimes there are things that are so complicated, so complex that we don't have three-part framework answers to. Some of the best books I have ever read are books that say, hey, the solution is actually to just lay it down and trust or to set it aside or, you know, pray. These kinds of things that aren't fit nice and neatly into some kind of a framework. That could be your solution, and that's okay. That's a great solution. But what's the problem and what is the solution? You may pull from your anger list, you may pull from your why list of some of these problems and solutions, but think through what are some problems that you have experienced in your own life and what were the solutions that you came up with? And of course, these can be big, weighty emotional things. They could also be really practical things too. Like for me, the problem is how do you self-publish a book? That's the problem that I have been answering for a lot of people. How do you write a really great book that you feel confident in and that could sell well? That is a problem. It's a very practical problem, but I am helping people with that solution. And so it can be a very practical problem, it can be a little bit more of a weighty problem, or of course it can be a little bit of both because that's just life. So, what is a problem and a solution that you can give to people? And the reason why this is so important to answer is because you are giving a transformation for people. A good book is a book that transforms people. A good book is a book that solves problems. So whenever you have a problem and can give a solution on that, that's when you know you've got the beginnings of a really excellent book. I want you to think of your favorite nonfiction book, a book that has really propelled you in life. I can almost guarantee you that the book started with a problem that you had and then gave you a ton of solutions to that problem. That's exactly what you want to do for nonfiction. I think you can make an argument about that for fiction, but again, outside the scope of our podcast, for nonfiction, you really definitely want to have a problem and solution. So start making a list of that and see what comes up for you there. And if you start generating some really great book ideas or even potentially start narrowing them down. Okay, so our three questions. Number one, ask why. And number two, what are you angry for? And number three, what is the problem and solution? Once you've made those three lists, you likely have quite a few things that you can pull from. So what we're going to do now is actually start narrowing down that list a little bit and start testing some of these ideas. If you have one that you're like, yep, this is it, this is the idea, then let's go ahead and start testing it with some of these questions. If you're like, I've got three to five to twenty ideas still. Floating around that I really like, we're gonna start narrowing them down by starting testing them with some of these other questions. So the very first question is to ask yourself for this book in particular, do I want for it to be in the marketplace? Now, what do I mean by marketplace? Do you want to sell your book and this book be a part of a revenue generating part of your business or your brand? A lot of people want to write a book just for their legacy. I've talked about this in a previous episode, the three L's, but essentially legacy is one of the reasons why people want to write a book. They just have a story they want to share. It's really important and powerful to them. And they just feel like God is calling them to write this book. And so they're gonna write it. It's for their friends and family. Maybe they put it on Amazon and if a couple people buy it, great. But that's just really not the motivation behind the book. It's just to get the book out for the sake of legacy. If that's the case, then do not worry about the marketplace. Your book is ready to go. Just write it. It is just like go for it. You don't need to keep asking if it's a good enough idea. You just need to take it and run with it. If you've got like 10 legacy books ideas, just start, just knock off each one and just start on your list and go for it. You don't need to test out your idea. When people are asking whether or not an idea is good, what they're really saying is, will this be successful in the marketplace? Will people actually purchase this book? Will people like it? Usually that's what people mean by that. And so if you're not really concerned about the marketplace because this is a legacy book, then keep going. Write it, write whatever God's put on your heart. Get help if you want it to be done really well, of course, but don't be too concerned about that. If, however, you do want your book to be out in the marketplace, you do want to sell it, you want it to be a part of your overall brand. If you are building a writing career, if you are wanting it to be a part of like growing your business as like a lead magnet, then we definitely need to start testing out the message a little bit more in the marketplace. If you want it to be successful in the marketplace, we've got to test it in the marketplace and not just in our brains or in general closed door conversations. You need to start exposing this idea a little bit more to see if it can work. Now, a lot of people are writing based off of their experiences. So they're like, oh, I know it works because I've experienced this for myself, and that is perfect. But the way that you communicate the message to the marketplace, even if the message is good, how you communicate it, how you angle it is going to be incredibly important. And here's what I mean, and we'll talk about this more in just a little bit. But if you are writing a book on anxiety, which we all need more books on anxiety because wow, it is a huge issue for so many of us right now. But if you write a book generalized on just anxiety, then you're not going to likely be as successful because it's going to get lost in all of the other conversations that are happening on books online. You need to be have more of a specificity on how you present anxiety. One of those ways is to make it more specific for a certain type of people. So anxieties for postpartum mom, anxiety for empty nesters, anxiety for dads. You know, find like a subsection of people so that you angle this idea differently in the marketplace. So your message is really important, but how you communicate your message is going to be incredibly important. And that's why it's really good to start getting some exposure in the marketplace. So, first of all, figure out whether or not you want it out in the marketplace, do you want to sell it? And the second question is very closely linked to that. But what is your goal with your book? If you know you want it out and you want to sell it to other people, do you want it to build your brand? Do you want it to link up to other offers? And so it's kind of like a leverage book in which you're using it as leverage to have more coaching calls, consulting, to have more speaking engagements, things like that. Or is this a standalone book? It's just a book that you really want to be a part of your brand, but it isn't necessarily going to like lead into other offers. There's so many different goals that you may have with your book. A lot of clients I've been working with recently are like, hey, I don't want it to be like a leverage book to where it like leads into other offers, but I want it to be like a pillar of who I am and people know my beliefs, my principles, my values. And if they want to work with me, great. But I really just want to really impart this idea to them because I think it's just so important. And that is a fantastic, beautiful, beautiful goal. But getting really clear on what your goal is will help you determine what idea you should actually pick. Because if your goal for your book is to act as leverage, then maybe you don't write a book necessarily on something that's the exact opposite of what your brand is about, or like is in a completely different category. If you're really wanting something that will impact your brand, then you should write specifically on your brand. So sometimes when we get so excited by so many different ideas, we are actually going two opposite directions without realizing it. So what is your goal? And does that start to eliminate some ideas or start refining some of those ideas on your list? So number one, marketplace. Number two, what's your goal? Number three, how can we narrow it down? I already talked about that just a little bit more about how you can narrow it down. But knowing who you're speaking to is going to be critical. A lot of times people come up with book ideas based off of their own experiences, but they forget their reader. They forget that the reader is the one going to be impacted. And so you may have a story that's about you, but it should be for them. It should be tailored for them because readers always, always, always are asking the question, what's in it for me? And not in a selfish way, but everyone is always asking, what is in it for me? Maybe selfish, but they want to know how I can get something out of this? Is this worth my time? Should I keep going? And you need to know how to answer that question. When you narrow it down, you can often help people find the answers that they need. So again, if you have something on anxiety, you can narrow it down. So here's actually a really great example. We are launching a book next week. I'm so excited about it, with a client who is writing a leadership book. But the book is very much tailored to nonprofit leaders. Now, the book itself is fantastic, and a lot of the principles she talks about could technically apply to just general leadership, but she's smart and she chose to narrow it down. And she's narrowing it down to people in nonprofit organizations. She has a ton of experience in nonprofit organizations. She has a business that coaches nonprofit leaders, and she wants to use this book to help those nonprofit leaders. That is going to give her a much more specific and focused voice in the marketplace because nonprofit leaders are going to trust her more. She's had that experience. She's speaking directly to them. And so they're going to trust her and follow her much more than necessarily a large general leadership principle book. Obviously, there are places for those, but most of the time, and especially in the current market, you want something way more specific. So narrow it down. It doesn't necessarily have to be to a specific type of person. It could be a specific type of leadership or specific type of anxiety, or, you know, there's different ways that you could narrow it down, but you need to be specific and you need to know who you are writing to. The last question that you can ask yourself is can I summarize the transformation of this book in one sentence? This is really hard for a lot of people, and it's okay if you aren't there yet. In fact, you probably shouldn't be there at this point in the journey. You're still brainstorming. But as you continue to look through your list, ask yourself, okay, I really like this idea, but can I summarize a transformation for somebody? Will somebody go from feeling exhausted to feeling energized by the end of this book? Can I tell them the three steps to getting there? Or can I tell them the general philosophy of getting there? This is, again, really difficult for a lot of people. It can be more difficult to find as well if you haven't really been working on this message publicly. If you haven't been writing publicly about it, if you haven't been in coaching calls, client calls if you're a therapist, if you, you know, haven't been giving speeches on it, it can be more difficult to summarize that. And so if you're looking at this list and you're like, I there are a lot of things on here I am very intrigued to potentially write about, then I would recommend you start writing or talking about them in a little bit more public spaces. Start a Substack. If you already have a podcast, do like a series on this topic and just see what comes out, see what the response is, see how you can start creating some frameworks. It's really, really cool when I have clients who come to me and are like, whoa, I got so much clarity writing this book. So you do not need to have a ton of clarity. Lots of writers find heaps and heaps of clarity while they write the book. But that does not mean you go into it blind. That doesn't mean you go into it not having any experience. I personally have made this mistake multiple times where I have started writing a book thinking that passion and like excitement and healthy anger would carry me through, and it doesn't because I needed more time writing about it, talking about it, having experience in the topic before I can move forward with actually writing it. So I would recommend that you start writing a little bit more publicly about it, writing or talking, giving speeches, talking to friends, getting on coaching calls specifically on this topic to see what comes out and see if you have what you would need to write a book. Can you cleanly and simply say what the transformation would be for somebody who reads your book? Because again, that is the foundation of an excellent book. And that's where we want to start on a healthy foundation. So if you have a strong summary of how you can get people from point A to point B, then I think you have a really solid book to get started on. If you're like maybe I think I do, I'm not sure, then go and start testing it. Go write about it and and or just do like an Instagram series for like 60 days on the topic and see what comes up. I think it will bring you a ton of clarity. So those are the what six, seven questions to ask yourself in order to start getting a whole lot more clarity. I hope this is really helpful for you. Questions do force your brain into a new space that give you heaps and heaps more clarity. Now, for some of you, you're like, cool, Michaela, I'm actually way more confused than I was when I started. That's okay. Sometimes this process is like pulling out a ton of things in your closet and you look around and it's actually more messy in your room than it was when you started. That's okay. That's creativity. If you're in that place where it's like, it feels more messy than it did before, or I still have some questions and not the clarity I want just yet, then one of the monthly clarity workshop sessions that I do is absolutely for you. This is a small group live coaching session. We just have three people max in these calls so that I really get to know you, understand your goals and your values, your voice, and then help you find a next best step when it comes to your book idea. So if you want more information on those workshops, you can click the link in the description, or you can go to www.mikayla Matthews with one t dot com backslash workshop. Hope this is really helpful for you guys. Hope you got a ton more clarity, and I can't wait to see you guys on a workshop.