The Corduroy Boys Podcast
A cozy comedy podcast. Heavily filtered and non-chaotic. Just good vibes and fun riffs.
The Corduroy Boys Podcast
Keep, Change, Delete - FREE BONUS
We play a new game! We each say something we'd like to KEEP in this world, something that we'd like to CHANGE, and something we want to DELETE. It's fun! Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus content other than premium episodes.
Can we talk about our new uh our new segment?
SPEAKER_02:Our new game?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, our new game. I would love to. Let's play a game. Welcome to our new game. It is called. Sorry, Jack, go ahead. Our newest game is called Keep, Change, and Delete. Keep change delete. One thing that you would keep in this world, one thing you would change in this world, and one thing you would delete from this world. Just get rid of it. Just get rid of it. I'm gonna start it off. Okay. If that's okay with you two.
SPEAKER_02:I'll go second. I'll go last.
SPEAKER_03:So one thing I keep is deli coffee. Deli slash diner coffee. Okay. Alright, I'm listening.
SPEAKER_02:Please don't interrupt, Andrew. Sorry. Sorry.
SPEAKER_03:Because it's not it's not good, but it's right.
SPEAKER_00:Does that make sense? It does make sense.
SPEAKER_03:It's not good, but it's right. It tastes like an old rag was in there most of the time.
SPEAKER_04:Do you feel like it's the setting of especially a diner when it comes out and you got the I mean, it just feels right. It would feel a little off if it was the perfect coffee, right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, no, you don't get rid of your pour over, get rid of your whatever. You need a dripper that just boils the coffee for a long time. No, give me Maxwell House, Folgers. I don't care. Doesn't matter. It's about the person who's gonna be a big thing. Columbia coffee. It's about being surrounded by people who aren't in construction.
SPEAKER_02:The bun machine. The bun machine? The bun machine. Oh yeah, the bun machine.
SPEAKER_03:The bun machine.
SPEAKER_02:The bun machine. B-U-N-N.
SPEAKER_03:It's the the coffee where it's like it's got either the orange or the black. Of course, yeah. Like uh on the outside. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But you can't really trust it. You think it's both. That's right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's like whatever. Yeah. It's just that like there's so many people who are so intense about coffee, and like even I get wrapped up in it. You know, I got it.
SPEAKER_04:I'm looking at a lot of different uh fresh gadgets and gizmos.
SPEAKER_03:Um and there's something really great about like a perfect black cup of coffee, but there's also just something to just someone who had just smoked a cigarette pouring you a cup of something they don't care about.
SPEAKER_04:I love it.
SPEAKER_03:And you're surrounded by people who it's like coffee they want like 40 ounces of coffee. Right. They just want so much coffee, they don't care. And you realize in that moment that it's not about the sp like the specialty stuff, it's just about getting it down your gully.
SPEAKER_04:The idea of coffee in a diner is just to stay awake to hear the other person that you're with ramble on about something, and for you to continue to stay interested. That's what the beautiful diner coffee is. A deli coffee is to keep you awake enough to do your low-end, awful job, and you'll stay excited to do it. Yeah, and 7-Eleven Coffee is a good one. It is a drug, it's just a drug. That's all it is.
SPEAKER_03:It's purely, it's just off-brand Tylenol.
SPEAKER_04:You know what? Sometimes the art isn't needed.
SPEAKER_03:It's true. Sometimes the art is the slop.
SPEAKER_04:There you go. What a beautiful way to start this, by the way. I love that. I love that. I love that.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you.
SPEAKER_04:Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02:We'll do right straight through.
SPEAKER_04:No, yeah, all right. So everybody's gonna go straight through.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:What I would change is that I feel like you shouldn't have to get people cards anymore. I think that you should just be able to take some nice stationery that you have and write them a card. Are we talking bit uh business cards? Sorry. Like uh like it was like greeting cards. Yeah, like a greeting card, like it's a birthday or it's a wedding or whatever. Oh yes. I think you should just be able to write on a piece of paper something nice because it's like who needs to like does it's like you get the card and it's like life's rough, but you're tough, and it's like a little dog.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's exactly a bass hit hound with a sad face, which kind of looks like me.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly, yeah, it looks exactly like you. Um and then like on the other page, you write the whole thing, and like the uh random words just kind of stick there. It's like everyone knows it's a game.
SPEAKER_04:Everyone knows, but it's also you need a device to send it other than like a text message.
SPEAKER_03:No, I think that the handwriting is what's important.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. I get I get I will say I get blank cards.
SPEAKER_03:I like a blank card, I think that's good, and like that's pretty cheap, but like you ever see that Brian Regan bit? Blank inside cards? Who are these people? You never saw that?
SPEAKER_02:No, I never seen that.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, it's very funny. I bet it's good. Um But I guess yeah, like my my change would just be like I want to just be able to take a piece of paper and write what I think on it, fold it up, and then give it to someone.
SPEAKER_04:It's almost like you want to treat the world as if you're in class and the teacher is droning on and you want to just send your pal a note right next to you. Yeah. But instead of in class, you want to send him a note across town.
SPEAKER_02:I'm picturing I'm picturing from the desk of Andrew Bergen. Yeah. And then, you know, happy birthday. Belated birthday. Belated birthday.
SPEAKER_04:But graduate. It's gonna have your stationary on it. Letterhead.
SPEAKER_03:I think this is what I'm doing from now on. I'm getting stationary with my name on it, I'm folding it up, I'm putting it in an envelope.
SPEAKER_04:I think we all should do this. Yes.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm not right, I'm not doing cards anymore. I'm just doing stationary straight from the desk of Andrew Bergen.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I am doing this. That's great. We should all do it. We should all do this. Okay, we're by the way, we should do this. Send each other letters. Next week. All right. And I'm gonna go so far. If you call in, if you write in, I'm gonna send you a letter too. I'm gonna do it. Come on, guys.
SPEAKER_02:We're let I think next week we come in, we and we read a letter to we come in with letters. I think we gotta send it. Little note.
SPEAKER_04:I think we have to send it through the mail.
SPEAKER_03:Next week I need I need us all to write a letter that is to a company that we can send the letter to fixing something. Handwritten letter. Whoa.
SPEAKER_02:I sent a camera for repair to Los Angeles. They told me it would be$471 to repair. I emailed them back, nope, send it back. They have not replied. I sent another email, please send it back. They didn't reply. I sent a separate email, different chain. I will be contacting the police if you don't email me back. Wow. They have not emailed. So you're already ahead of this.
SPEAKER_03:He's getting law enforcement involved.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna have to I am going to have to send a physical letter to them because they have not responded to emails.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Alright. Well, that's first of all, that's a whole nother bowl of wax that we need to get into maybe next week. Yeah. Because I want to hear more about that. You heard the whole thing. That's it. All right. Well, dude, that's keep me posted on that. Make some more shit up about it.
SPEAKER_02:It's the camera that uh you left out in the rain when we were recording.
SPEAKER_04:You got you gotta you gotta say that?
SPEAKER_02:You didn't leave. I left it out in the rain.
SPEAKER_04:I got his back here, right? And he I left it out in the rain. I'm always leaving.
SPEAKER_02:He didn't. No, he didn't. I never leave it. But it was raining and it was for his podcast that he wanted to make.
SPEAKER_03:So poor guy. Um my delete. Yeah. Can I do my delete or you guys? Please do your delete. Is the dryers in the bathroom that blow air out.
SPEAKER_04:Dude, you're speaking my language.
SPEAKER_03:Can we get out can we get them the heck out of Dude?
SPEAKER_04:It is it's shooting out grime.
SPEAKER_03:There is a new one. There's a new one. And what it does is on the so it's it's three sections. The first section on the left, you put your hand underneath it, and it dispenses the soap. The middle one is the faucet. The one on the right is the hair is the air dryer.
SPEAKER_02:This is not a good one.
SPEAKER_03:No, and so what happens is it's all in the sink. So you do the air dryer and it shoots all the water onto you. It's ridiculous. It's a terrible design. It's like theoretically like a good design, but it's like humans have to touch. Do you know how many relationships die with no touch? Many. Many.
SPEAKER_02:Many.
SPEAKER_03:So it's like, I don't think that the way to do it. It's because they treat us all like babies. They're like, you don't deserve to press down for your soap and just get it. Yeah. You don't deserve and turn a faucet because someone will leave the faucet on.
SPEAKER_04:It's the robots taking over. It really is. And I know you're a robot pro-robot.
SPEAKER_03:I'm anti-robot.
SPEAKER_04:Eh. I think you're a little bit pro-robot. You work for the robot company.
SPEAKER_03:I'm a little bit pro-robot, but I'm becoming more and more disgusted.
SPEAKER_04:But it's like we're able to do I can I can pump my own. Granted, I've walked in on a few bathrooms where here's the other problem that I run into. That's now people are used to the the faucet in a bathroom and a restaurant going on and shutting off that they leave it on.
SPEAKER_03:Well that's why in the first place that they did this.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, because it's a whole system.
SPEAKER_03:Because when you like for the for the like the reason that you have uh automatic this and that is under the guise of like we want it to be more sanitary, but really it's because people leave the thing on.
SPEAKER_04:Because it's it's so ridiculous how dumb people are that they forget they turn on a sink when they're at a place. If they're at a bar or restaurant and they turn on a sink and they're like they're washing their hands and they're which is good for them, they're washing their hands, but then the fact that they forget that they think it's just gonna automatically shut off is wild. And I you see it all the time.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's the reason that we have all these bad things is because of the people who don't turn off the faucets, the people who don't return their shopping carts.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. But the the the the the hand blower is such a dirt, it it's making you more dirty.
SPEAKER_03:And just let me touch a towel.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I love it. I love a good paper towel.
SPEAKER_04:Give me a paper towel to throw it away. I'm sorry, maybe it's bad for the environment, but like I mean, we're not washing our hands if we're using those things. Even I'm sorry, I'm a fan of the Dyson, but that stick your hand in it. You don't like that? It's the same thing, if not more gross, because it it takes all this the uh the germs and you're in it. That it's it's in it now.
SPEAKER_02:I think it's the best one. I think it dries fastest. No, I I think that it's it dries, but you're getting you're getting and it doesn't move your skin around like those.
SPEAKER_03:If you're gonna make the best shit sandwich, that's the best shit sandwich.
SPEAKER_04:That's not the point, though. You're yeah, you're getting dry. It I won't argue that those things don't work. They they they work great and they dry you dry you off great. All right, but you are getting feces on your hands. You're washing your hands, sticking it in a Dyson feces machine. And then go back to dinner.
SPEAKER_03:And then you go back to dinner. And you just eat. It's cut up with a T-bone steak. And then who's the real poopy head of the week?
SPEAKER_02:There you go. Sure. Alright, I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna I'm gonna do mine fast here. This is kind of I'm gonna do it like rapid fire. I might even go straight to camera. Phone to camera. See what that means? Phone to camera.
SPEAKER_04:Andrew, what he's saying is you were a little bit more. It took too long.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:No, I want to. I'm so sorry. I think I think um I think Brendan just interrupted you a little bit too much, and I think you were actually fine. Okay, thank you.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I'll say this because don't act like I can't hear what you guys are saying when you have your little meetings. It's private. This was private. It's not private when you're speaking into a microphone. Um this was I didn't know my hand. Andrew brought up some great points that that uh that you just bring up conversation.
SPEAKER_02:Had to take over.
SPEAKER_04:They bring up conversation.
SPEAKER_02:Go on. Keep. I'm keeping every Robert De Niro movie he's made since Little Fokkers. Um people think Since Little Fox. Since Little Fockers. Okay. People think that these movies are awful. And you know what? They're a hundred percent right. But people we need to like, we need a section, we need like a criterion collection for these movies to so we can teach old actors to hang up the hat. We need to chill out? Just to be like, hey, there's a limit. Like, yeah, okay, Killers of the Flower Moon, loved it. Anything, I don't has he made any other good movies? No. But uh God forbid Tom Hanks pulls a fucking Robert De Niro and starts making these shitty movies. I like I think I would rather Tom Hanks kill himself. So you're saying that we need Robert De Niro to make we need these shitty movies. People are like, oh, we the intern, the dirty grandpa, get rid of it. No, keep it, teach it to film students just so it can be like, hey, you we're gonna save you twenty years of straight embarrassment.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, just retire or work at like a Starbucks.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly.
SPEAKER_04:You can't come up with rapid fire stuff when you have gold like this, Jack. There's so much to talk about with this.
SPEAKER_02:Listen, but I won't.
SPEAKER_04:But I won't.
SPEAKER_02:I think I think I said what I said, and I think that that's uh that's enough. I stand where I stand. Um change. I would want to change when Harry Met Sally. I'm changing that movie. Why? It takes place in New York City, not one black person in the movie. Well, doesn't it start in Seattle? Not it starts in, I believe, Chicago. That's sleepless in Seattle. And that's sleepless in Seattle, a good other different Meg Ryan movie. Um, not one black person in the not even in the background.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And they shoot outside in New York City, they had to clear the minorities off the street. You Rob McRae. Exactly. It was yeah, yeah, 1988, right at the same time, I think. Like maybe that's interesting. You know?
SPEAKER_04:Um Yeah, well, I you know what I ha it's been a while since I watched that movie, but I'll have to check it out.
SPEAKER_02:So I think to change it, I think you gotta CGI some black people, at least in the background.
SPEAKER_04:I think that's more racist.
SPEAKER_02:No, okay, well, okay. Now I don't know if this would be easier or harder, but there are white maybe just color up the whites a bit. Just we could need to they need to be in there somewhere. That's all.
SPEAKER_04:You're telling me we're gonna CGI blackface? No, I'm I think this is a good change.
SPEAKER_02:If that's the route Hollywood takes. Look, I'm not but it would have to be it would be not a decision maker. It's not it's not, you know, blackface on white people if like let's say it's just really good CGI. Okay, you know, this is modern-day blackface, though.
SPEAKER_04:What you're saying is the modern day blackface. Yeah, it's DGI modern-day blackface.
SPEAKER_02:Listen, I just figured which is a whole nother trigger change. I'm saying for the for the the younger generation, the younger generation to see black people in this movie, any minority in this movie, you know, Asian up a few white folks if they if you want, you know, Indian up a few white folks if you want.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:In the bat so they're in the movie. I think that matters more than the way it's done.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, alright. Can we throw some white people in shaft?
SPEAKER_02:I never I've never seen that.
SPEAKER_04:Uh I guess you just only watch white movies. All right. You know, you only watch white people movies.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yes. That's white people.
SPEAKER_02:Alright. My delete dumb British people. Oh, get rid of them. Just get rid of this is good. Listen, um, us Americans. Us Americans are the stupid ones, uh, not you. Okay. Um, stop trying to take our culture. There's been a, I think, a huge wave of like, oh, we're dumb, you know, we can be like everyone else. Listen to our shows from our dumb broads from Essex, you know, it's gonna be good in the States, in it, you know, that kind of stuff. No, I'm not gonna shut up about this, I think, until, you know, until Love Island is only an American show. Um I don't like there's like a there's a classist elitism that Britain has held for centuries. That's who they are. They're not Americans. Yeah, no, they're not. Dumb British people. Like I would I would almost like reinvest. I'm so pro-socializing education in America, I'd like to do it in Britain first to get take care of that problem.
SPEAKER_03:The first step is shutting down Tesco's. That's the 7-Eleven of Britain. Yeah, I think that's a good thing. Is there 7-Eleven as nice is nice though? They have these little sandwiches that are in triangles rather than halves that they put in like these triangular packages. I think that that's good, and then everything else is bad.
SPEAKER_04:You ever see the you ever see those YouTube videos where they they have British children try American foods and their minds are blown? Makes me think that their food over there is very bland. I would I would think so, yeah. They all white. Like they try most. These people have one bite of Popeyes, and literally, I mean Oh, the amount of shit that that must make the they must go right through them. Oh, it's got I mean, they probably don't make it through the shoot.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, they're going above the water the whole time.
SPEAKER_03:People talk about how the beans are like, oh, like how are they having beans on toast? Whatever. But like we eat them for dinner, whatever. Yeah. What they do sometimes, that when I was there, I saw this multiple times, is baked a baked egg. So they crack an egg on a pan, like a bunch of eggs on a pan, and then they just bake it straight up. Until it's fully cooked. And then they eat it like that.
SPEAKER_04:Is it good? No, it's a baked egg. I know, but you know, like a baked cookie is fantastic, so I don't know. It's like uh take everything.
SPEAKER_02:I like baked goods like dry baked egg. Oh, yeah, I guess it's dry because microwave doesn't you have a microwave an egg?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you gotta try Andrew's five-minute egg.
SPEAKER_02:I gotta try it.
SPEAKER_03:What you do is you take an egg and you put it in the microwave for five minutes. Get the hell out of here. I'm deleting this. Five minutes.
SPEAKER_02:What do you thought the whole process was gonna be five minutes? I didn't think you were microwaving it for five.
SPEAKER_04:You microwave the egg for five minutes and eight nerve to like be like they bake an egg and you're microwaving an egg?
SPEAKER_03:You have to try it. It's different.
SPEAKER_02:On defrost, at least.
SPEAKER_03:It's on it's it's full volume, full power. Andrew's five-minute egg. Dude know about this.
SPEAKER_04:No way, no way. I saw you make an egg last week for your beautiful wife. You did not put it in the microwave.
SPEAKER_03:We don't own a microwave.
SPEAKER_04:Thank God.
SPEAKER_03:But we did, and we don't anymore.
SPEAKER_04:Now you're a married man, and that part of your life is done. Try it at work. Andrew's five-minute egg is done.
SPEAKER_03:You do that at work.
SPEAKER_02:You just take an egg, you put it in the egg and you stink up the joint. Dude, you're stinking up the joint.
SPEAKER_03:You just gotta really think you take an egg, you put it in there, hit five, go do whatever, come back. Egg is done. It's hot.
SPEAKER_02:Dude, that is insane being. Do you mix it up or you just crack it and go in?
SPEAKER_03:No, you put the egg in whole.
SPEAKER_02:God almighty. Does it not explode in there?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does.
SPEAKER_04:This is wild. Dude, you don't do this.
SPEAKER_03:You do it at work as a punishment.
SPEAKER_04:Alright, it's a punishment. See, I don't I don't b I believe what you're doing now is you're you're changing your opinion based on our reactions.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know. But I think that's a good thing. You thought we were gonna be like a five-minute microwave deck? What I recommend you do with extreme caution is take an egg. Take an egg and put it in your microwave for five minutes and just see what happens.
SPEAKER_02:The famous Bergen 5. Oh god, awesome. It's unbelievable. Alright, Brennan, what you got?
SPEAKER_04:Wait, did you delete something?
SPEAKER_02:I deleted dumb British people. They're gone. Poof. Poof. They're gone. All right.
SPEAKER_04:I'm gonna keep um oh no. I think I just deleted everything. No, there it is.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know anymore.
SPEAKER_04:I'm gonna keep the banners that fly off the back of airplanes. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah, those are nice. It's uh it's like it's they call it aerial uh advertisements.
SPEAKER_02:After the Little Mermaid, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So so I've never I've never uh it's it's it's you usually see them in the summertime at the beach, little prop planes they have, you know, it says Bicardi or Surfside or Siroc or something. I have never once in my life sat on a beach and it's been like, oh look, surfside, I ought to get a surfside this afternoon. But it it it's something to look at when you're at the beach. So never get rid of that advertising system where you where you attach a banner to the to the bat back end of a prop plane. It's an all-time advertisement. It's an all-time advertising.
SPEAKER_03:I think it's lovely. I think a corona advertisement in the air, it's just like even on a bad day, it's like a a nice bottle of corona and a nice bright day.
SPEAKER_04:And it reminds you we're in this because you don't see it in the winter. Yeah. It's it's the summertime.
SPEAKER_02:They should drop limes out of the plane.
SPEAKER_04:Dude, they should. They should do that.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's so smart. And they're buoyant.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Are limes buoyant? Yes.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't know this.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I think they are buoyant. I mean, but what you're gonna go into the ocean and get limes though?
SPEAKER_03:If you just like you're like, oh, this is one of like the corona limes.
SPEAKER_04:Dude, here's the thing, though. Like, people, like when it hails, people need to take cover. Like, it it's probably gonna hurt some people. Just like three. Alright, we'll do three. Um, what I'm gonna change is a real this is this is nothing new. Um we're gonna change the five-day work week.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04:All right, six, four. Four four days. I want four days. I will I will settle for three and a half days. All right? Four days can have.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, go ahead. No, go ahead.
SPEAKER_04:I want I'm I I said it backwards. I want three. I want three days.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, gotcha, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But I'll settle for the the three and a half to four days. Okay, gotcha. I'm sorry, I said it backwards. This maybe this is why I need to I need more time off. Um life is precious, guys. We need more time to do things. Okay? Pay us better salaries, let us work more. That's what I want. Applause. Applause. Beautifully said.
SPEAKER_03:I think that you work too much.
SPEAKER_04:I do work too much, but what am I gonna do? Not work? You're gonna pay Jack for brides.
SPEAKER_02:You're gonna do this podcast and we're gonna work four hours a week. Sure. Alright. What I'm gonna delete. He has no belief. He's never heard of Tim Ferris.
SPEAKER_03:He's never heard of Tim Ferriss.
SPEAKER_04:I know of Tim Ferris. What is he, the 10-day work week or something? Four-hour work week. Yeah. Tim Ferris is full of bologna.
SPEAKER_03:He would never eat bologna. Listen, Brendan, full equipped an idiot. I work.
SPEAKER_02:Listen, I I work 24 hours a week. I'm almost there. You don't live in your own place.
SPEAKER_04:I know.
SPEAKER_03:So I need to pay for my own. Four-hour work week, live alone, live with your parents.
SPEAKER_04:By the way, I'm not a big one.
SPEAKER_02:You've never read the book. It says live at home. Is that what it says?
SPEAKER_03:Four-hour work, live at home.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. It says only eat what's in the house.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that I have a problem with. I'm big on I'm a big Uberspender. Yeah, you are. I'm a big Uberspender. Oh. Hey yo. Hey. Hey. Hey. Look who it is.
SPEAKER_03:We're mid-pod. I talked about you farting.
unknown:Farting?
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
unknown:Great. I hope it was over well.
SPEAKER_04:It did. Um, all right. The thing I'm going to delete. You ready for this? Cemeteries. Delete cemeteries. Goodbye. Okay. Alright, but there is a I'm going to say this. 50 years. Uh if you if if you died in the past 50 years, we'll keep you. Beyond 50 years? Sorry, Grandma. We're building a condo above you. We need the space. We need the space. Have you ever driven down and see those that cemetery in Queens? Yeah, it's that's a do you know how much uh real estate that is? Yeah. Guys, cemeteries are taking up a lot of space. We live on an island. I'm sorry. We have to build over the dead.
SPEAKER_03:What about cemeteries in the basement?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I don't. That's spooky. Oh, like a little uh like a little uh what's it called? Uh crypt, right? Yeah, you build over it and you make crypts. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Spooky though. I don't that I would be more You don't have to live in it. But I would be more inclined to live in a high rise that's above a cemetery. That was now I wouldn't want to. I think there should be a discount.
SPEAKER_03:That was built over a cemetery that you erased the names of everybody in. But it's over 50 years.
SPEAKER_04:So these are people that died over 50 years ago.
SPEAKER_02:So every cemetery would so the I guess you know we're not getting totally rid of cemeteries, but we're but it goes, it goes like we're done with this one. Wait 50 years, everybody's you know, been dead 50 years.
SPEAKER_04:We start with the oldest first. We can build. We start with the oldest first. Okay there's some old cemeteries. There's a cemetery right down the block from me. And the the the the tombstones are like, you know, they're not even you can't even read the names. No, everybody in there has died in the 1800s.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, at a certain point, just make a list.
SPEAKER_04:I mean Yeah, exactly. Put it in a book. No, I I mean I don't know what happens to you after you die, but like you get eaten by worms. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it it's kind of sad. But like, I don't know, man. It's just the amount of space we are we are losing space and we are working too much is is is the whole point of of my speech here. I see it. And and I understand it is a little spooky, and and there and and also it's hard to afford rent here. Let's be honest. That's why I work so much. Alright? Because it's hard to pay for things. Will I take a discount if I live above some dead people? I should. Yeah, that should be the affordable. So that's what that's what that's what I'm doing. All right. Crypt parking garage. No, I don't love the crypt. I think we just on top. I just we concrete over them. But if your grandma We forget them.
SPEAKER_02:So if just forget them entirely. But if your grandma dies when you're like 10 and now you're 60, you so you just can't go visit your grandma anymore.
SPEAKER_03:No, you have a list. Well, you can go to the visit the list.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I mean you just go to the list. I mean, I don't know. The idea I have a couple on Facebook. Can we go to the list today to visit grandma? I have grandma's on the list. I have a friend that goes to cemeteries a lot. I'm not a cemetery person. I don't know. I don't know where you guys are with that with that. Give a take. I like the old ones. I'm not oh the ones I'm trying to get rid of. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, I like the really old ones. I get I get there's a nostalgia factor to an old, but you probably want to take pictures of it like a kook.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, I do.
SPEAKER_04:Um you're not going there to reminisce about some guy from the 1800s.
SPEAKER_02:No, I I am actually. No, you're not. Yeah, no, there's this upstate. There's one from she was born in 1790 in Scotland. This is a family name. She's a family member. She uh and uh she w was a part of a family that was lighthouse keepers. What's her name? Lucy Anderson. Okay. She was a part of Lighthouse Keepers. Where was the lighthouse? Isle of May, Scotland.
SPEAKER_04:Alright, so he's not lying.
SPEAKER_02:Off the coast. And Anstruther. I went there, I visited the island. Yeah. And I saw the the room where her family died. There was a storm and the soot from the fires, real fire, you know, lighthouse. Like the they got carbon dioxide poisoning or carbon monoxide poisoning. And uh she was breastfeeding under a blanket went during the storm, so she the whole family fell asleep, you know, and died from the carbon monoxide, but she was under the blanket and a few days passed and they were like, Hey, the fire hasn't been lit. So the people from the mainland went to the fire, you know, the the lighthouse and found everybody dead except for this one baby. Now the son of the guy who ran the ship was twelve years old and ended up marrying that baby and moving to the United States uh a few, you know, years later. And uh they had a family, they were the they were uh they birthed civil war generals and in Andes, New York, there's a big uh uh cemetery for them. And uh I go and visit every every once in a while.
SPEAKER_04:I think he's changed my mind because history matters.
SPEAKER_03:And we can't put hold on.
SPEAKER_04:We can't put a condo over these people, they had a life.
SPEAKER_02:But there should be an unimportant people cemetery.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's what it is. That's what it is. If you didn't matter. Matter. And you were born in the 1800s.
SPEAKER_03:Sorry. Sorry. I was just going to say put her on a list, but a nice list. Yeah, but I mean Yeah, a bigger list.
SPEAKER_04:I'm sorry, but a list for who? A list for who?
SPEAKER_03:Everyone dead? Everybody dead?
SPEAKER_04:It's a long list. You put it out in the c in the in the condo uh building, and maybe the spirits want to visit the people don't have no pool. I'm talking about people that have been gone so long that they didn't do anything important. They don't have a history. We're describing the census.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, do you think that 50 years is the only mishap you had here?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, maybe it's just like maybe it has to go more than 50 years.
SPEAKER_03:150 years.
SPEAKER_04:I think 150 is good. 150 is good. Because we want to make sure we want to make sure that the whole family's wiped out. Or most of the family that cares. Right. But also if somebody of importance was happens to be buried in a cemetery that could has a big space. Alright, we're not gonna we're not gonna build over here. You know what else might be good for?
SPEAKER_02:If it's a cemetery full of nothings, I feel like that would drive a lot of people to do better in their life. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And if it's a thing of unimportant people, one nice thing that you could do is when you're building the building, you can do a raffle amongst the dead people to for whose name goes on the building.
SPEAKER_04:Also, I think family members, if there are family members, like listen, you get first dibs at this place. We're building a state-of-the-art condominium above your great-great-grandparents. And rest in peace. Rest in peace. And we'll never you'll never get to see them again because they're they're now they're buried under the city. We do want tennis courts. Yeah. And we're gonna name them after your you know. Yeah, and we're doing a raffle. But those people, if you have connections and you have a great-great-grandparent, and you can prove it, because I you God knows people are gonna come out the woodwork and be like, oh, my grandparent was you just can't see. It's been a while. You better have your papers with you, and you better prove that you're related to that person, all right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, we have a really big legal team.
SPEAKER_04:We have a legal team on it. So you get first dibs at the place. Alright? But I don't want to hear you complaining in a few years that you can't visit your great great great grandfather.
SPEAKER_03:So delete graveyards of people over 150 years dead.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Gone goodbye.