The Corduroy Boys Podcast
A cozy comedy podcast. Heavily filtered and non-chaotic. Just good vibes and fun riffs.
The Corduroy Boys Podcast
Sliding Into Celebrity DMs
Bush's Baked Beans, Natasha Bedingfield, Ralph Macchio, Minoxidil stories, and more!
Throw on that corduroy and get cozy with us!
THE EPISODE
This week Jack breaks down the brutal comedy show where he tried crowd work about meeting Coretta Scott King (it went exactly how you think). Brendan reveals his doctor put him on minoxidil…and that his beard may come back before his manhood does. Andrew talks camping and scamming REI and Lululemon.
Then, we each take a turn sliding into celebrities' DMs, hoping for a response.
THE PODCAST
The Corduroy Boys Podcast is a cozy comedy podcast, hosted by stand-up comedians Jack Adam, Andrew Bergen, and Brendan Ryan. Just good vibes, games, stories, and fun riffs. New episodes every Tuesday!
SUBMIT
Send in for Poopy Head of the Week/Dope or Nope: corduroyboyspod@gmail.com
FOLLOW
The Show: @corduroyboyspod
Jack: @jackadamcomedy
Andrew: @andrewbergen
Brendan: @brendanryanisfun
PATREON
patreon.com/corduroyboys
CHAPTERS
0:00 Who’s The Instigator, Really
2:10 Bombing At The Brewery Show
6:40 Crowd Work Bits That Went Nowhere
12:20 Parents In The Crowd And Stage Nerves
15:40 Beard Regrowth, Minoxidil, And Side Effects
22:00 Libido, Propecia, And Modern Masculinity
28:20 Camping, Fire, And Finding Comfort
35:20 Gear Regrets, Returns, And Warranty Ethics
42:30 Beans, Branding, And Shower Routines
49:20 The Celebrity DM Challenge
56:00 Ralph Macchio vs Natasha Bedingfield
1:07:20 Wrap Up And Sign Off
The loudest I'm gonna probably speak is this. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah, but you guys get me going. That's on you, guys. But we don't it we you're the instigator in every situation. I'm not the instigator. You guys get me going, and that gets me louder.
SPEAKER_03:You're a little bit of an instigator.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. You like I see you get yourself into the situations where like you you like to get yourself worked up through us. You think that's the case. I know that that's the case. You think that this is all an act.
SPEAKER_00:You think it makes good radio. This is old school radio. Yeah, I I I I I disagree. I just feel like you guys are putting me in a place where I have to act up.
SPEAKER_04:You've been you've you've been constructing this narrative that we're like out to get you. Okay, can I ask a question? Or that we're setting you up, or that it's us against you. Ask me a question.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna ask both of you a question, not just you.
SPEAKER_03:I'll accept a question.
SPEAKER_00:Jack reached out on the group text. Are we still good for Monday? I wasn't aware we were even planning to do Monday. Which makes me feel that you guys got together and decided we're gonna record Monday, and then oh my god, we forgot to ask Brendan.
SPEAKER_03:We only had like 20 minutes of secret time this week.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but if that maybe I don't even know if we did.
SPEAKER_03:Did we? We uh you came by to pick up your stuff.
SPEAKER_04:What is that? Oh, that's right. No, that's it. Yeah, that was before last episode. What stuff? We didn't even see each other. He left everything. I left my my little state park field notes pocket notebook, almost done for the month of October, by the way. Very good.
SPEAKER_03:Um He's writing big though. I'm writing big.
SPEAKER_04:He's writing big 1.0 type. 1.0 type. What does that mean? It means it's a thick boy.
SPEAKER_00:His pen is thick. Oh, the pen. Let me see. Brendan is not involved in this podcast. Oh, that's the wrong page, sorry. See what I'm saying? He wrote it very thick for me to see.
SPEAKER_03:Um Brendan is my worst friend.
SPEAKER_00:We had a couple. I I I was with Jack twice this week. Nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, what did we do? I don't even remember.
SPEAKER_00:We went to that show in a brewery, which was, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, right. That was that one first. And then you I bombed, I bombed so bad. Oh, yeah. It was really bad.
SPEAKER_00:There was no it you you can't say you bombed, it was just you happened to be up at a nightmare show.
SPEAKER_03:Why they didn't they didn't like humorless humor?
SPEAKER_04:They weren't there for comedy. No, there was six sixty people there probably. Yeah. That were just all there drinking, having a good time, and then Steve was like, Alright, folks, we're gonna get a show going here. No, it's bad.
SPEAKER_00:How would you feel if that was like if this it was a Friday night, this is your night out. We're going to the brewery, we got a babysitter, we don't have to deal with kids tonight. There was even a couple kids in the audience. And and then Steve gets up in his coat and his hat and and the and and he's like, You're gonna listen to me and my friends.
SPEAKER_04:His pirate coat and hat for those who don't know. Yeah, he's dressed. He's not like Fred Astaire.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you're right. Yeah, he's he's like Johnny Depp. Yeah. Um yeah, I I just I hate when there's music at a restaurant.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I mean, imagine music where it's where everyone's mean. Yeah, and it's ba it's just us. Oh god, it's brutal. I I know you don't make music at all. No, there's no music coming out of my uh No, it's like grunts.
SPEAKER_03:It's like like it's just oh, I had trouble going to the bathroom recently.
SPEAKER_00:I never say that. I don't do potty talk. We know that. Sorry. Um But yeah, it was it was just brutal. And I went up. I for the first time I ever I was I was supposed to go up first, and I I complained to not go up first. I was like, I don't want to go up first. Couldn't take the bullet.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, have some doofus go up first.
SPEAKER_04:In that situation, though, it's nice to go up first because people are so relieved the first guy's off the stage. That's true. Yeah, they were very happy you were gone. They were.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you went first. Yeah, I was hosting. Oh man. Talk about uh getting the crowd going.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, my family was there too.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god. Hey, just bombing in front of your family is like it's like the opposite of getting a degree. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:They um they were they did come up to me and it was like they like fully got it. Like they understood. It was my like my aunt and uncle.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think anybody that knows any sort of comedy could look around the room and be like, all right, this is clearly I I talked to one table for the whole time because I had tattoos. I was like, I'm gonna focus on them. They're the only one that seems semi-interested in this.
SPEAKER_03:And uh, and Jack's family is there, and like he's like, Jack, talk about your car.
SPEAKER_04:Brutal. I did try a crowd work bit that I don't really do crowd work, but I had to pull it out. What was it? I don't remember. It was uh it was something that I thought was very funny, which is that I would go um I would go uh I met something interesting about me is I I met uh Coretta Scott King when I was young. It's pretty interesting, right? You guys haven't met Credo Scott King, right? Right? You haven't. I do remember this.
SPEAKER_03:I'm I'm I'm imagining that I'm a bar right now and this is not at all.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:What's he talking about? Yeah, corona Corona, Corona Corona special.
SPEAKER_04:So I was like, yeah, I met Coretta Scott. I don't know why I chose her, but I was like, yeah, Credit Scott King. And then uh and then I just went down like the line. I was like, have I mean like people think uh I people usually think it's interesting. You guys don't think like have you met Credit Scott King? And I asked every person in like the front row. It is funny, but it's like you know, like that. It's just contextually hard. Yeah, contextually, yeah, I know, I know it is. And then uh and then I kept going down the line, and then I did this thing where like my fear is that I stole a Will Papura bit, but I don't I feel like he does something similar. Will Papura would be like you could have this bit. Yeah, yeah, probably you can have the correct Scott King bit. But I'm just going down the line to people, I think. But that's you know, whatever. But I asked everybody, and then it was getting to the point where like people were getting tired of you know, by the time I hit asked three people, people were tired of it. But like I really tired them out, and then I was like I was like, I'm asking everybody. Did you no, you didn't see just and I was like, just okay, everybody just raise your hand if if I didn't call on you yet. Okay, did you have you know? Fairly funny bit. Right. Fairly funny. It went really well one time, and then uh Oh, you've done this before. Not with Coretta Scott King is something I did it have you seen me before. I've done that before. Oh yeah. And then uh and then I think more relatable. And then I get to like half the room and I'm like, oh wait, no, it wasn't Coretta Scott King, it was uh Dick Cheney. I met Dick Cheney. I was like a weird guy, interesting guy, weird guy. I was like, yeah, I my dad dressed up in a su my dad dressed me up in a suit. I don't know why it was orange.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god. So again, put yourself in the minds of this poor audience. I know.
SPEAKER_04:But that was that was like probably ten minutes into my set. Maybe eight minutes where I was like, I know nothing's gonna work, so I might as well have fun.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think that sometimes that's what you do. There was a point in in in there's always a point in my head where I'm like, I'm not getting laughs and I'm giving up on whatever this set is. I'm throwing it in the trash, and I'm just gonna be like, so what's new with you? And see where it goes. And hopefully they take control. Hopefully they say not control, but they say something stupid enough that people will laugh.
SPEAKER_04:It's also funny how you will like before every show, be or after every show, like, yeah, I just I don't want to do the the crowd work thing anymore. I know. And then every time.
SPEAKER_00:Not every time. I didn't do it on Saturday. I don't tell. It's because your parents were there. That's true. I did kind of do crowd work because I said my parents are here.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you didn't really that's not really working the crowd.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_03:You're all riled up.
SPEAKER_04:They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, you're no. It's about as equivalent as going, like, oh, you guys are drinking, huh?
SPEAKER_00:No, I said more. I said more. Because I I left off my dad. Yeah. Maybe you didn't see my sick.
SPEAKER_04:Let me guess. Let me guess. This is how this is what happens when my parents or any of my family's in the crowd. You don't make eye contact at all. Oh, 100%. It's so funny to be talking about your parents and your upbringing, and like you're just like, I'm not looking at that side of the room.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you just block out that. You there's like, alright, the right, they were on the left side, the right side is who I'm talking to. So I'm like that. But then one at one point I just looked over and I did say something about I was like, my mom is here, and my mom was sitting with my dad, and I totally just didn't say anything about my dad. And and like two minutes later, I was like, Oh, my dad's here too. I don't know why I left him off.
SPEAKER_03:Your whole family both of your families were at the show? My whole You should have got together and had like dinner or something.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Oh, they had dinner. I will say, when I walked in, I saw I clocked Brendan right away. He was with his parents, but I was like, he's eating with his parents. I don't want to. I wasn't eating with my parents. It looked like you were eating with your parents. But I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna interrupt. But it took me about three minutes to actually decide if it was Brendan or not. I clocked, I was like, oh, there he is, and then I did a double take and I was like, that might not be him. No hat. I was about to say, was he not wearing a hat? No hat, and the beard came in a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I well I shaved it today. You did. It looks it looks neater for right now. Thank you, because it was becoming a little straggly. Um scra scraggly. Sure. But I you couldn't come up to me and my parents and be like, like, look me, make me look good. Like, hey, look, I know the cameraman of this show. Yeah, I was just taking pictures. Um by the way, speaking of the beard, I told Jack I didn't tell you this. Breaking news in my life. I uh I went to the doctor last week. I had a I had a perfect doctor's appointment where everything, like all my everything was good. Uh my kidney doctor, which, you know, not just a checkup. So like all my numbers were like like better than they've ever been.
SPEAKER_03:Don't you think you should go to an adult knee doctor by now? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I was still I was thinking about five different ways to say those. Um I shouldn't stupid.
SPEAKER_00:So it's good your knees are good. So my knees are good. Um, kidney is working. So I I was feeling good, and I've been wanting to ask for a while, uh because of course I had this beard. I think I maybe I talked about it on this podcast, but I had a beard that I lost and eyebrows and all that stuff. And I just it's been over a year since and it hasn't grown back. I was on this medication, it and I lost it all, blah, blah, blah. And I don't take the medication anymore, and the beard has not grown back to my satisfaction or to anybody's satisfaction, right? I think you look handsome. Thank you. I always say that.
SPEAKER_03:I think you have low testosterone. Low T? I think it was just a coincidence. It could be, by the way.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so I was feeling good with the with the doctor's appointment, and I said, Ah, I always I always have this feeling at the end of a doctor's appointment when things are going good, where I'm relieved, and now I want to I become chatty Kathy with him. Yeah. So I'm like, I want to ask you a question. It's silly, it means nothing. Meanwhile, it means everything to me. And I said, you know, this beard, and I tell him the whole story, he knows it. I'm like, I heard my that minoxidil could work for beards, and the guy is like, Yeah, I'm on I have plenty of patients on minoxidil. I write you a prescription right now. I'm like, I'm glad I asked. So there he goes. He writes me a prescription from minoxidil, 2.5 mgs, that's milligrams for the folks at home. Yeah. And I've been taking it uh over a week now. This is this is last Monday. And um it takes two months to see any results, uh, unfortunately. But I was so excited, and by the holiday season, guys, I might be too good looking for this podcast. Santa's back. Santa is back, baby. He is. So uh big news in my life. That's exciting. Yeah, I'm very excited. But what?
SPEAKER_03:Uh-oh. But uh, this is coming from a problem.
SPEAKER_04:Another uh there's just a minute. Let's just let's just say Santa won't be coming down any chimney anytime soon.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. I don't know if you it looked like you weren't gonna bring it up, but I'm glad you brought that up.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Because there has been a side effect.
SPEAKER_04:The uh Santa's bag's a little empty.
SPEAKER_01:Uh-oh.
SPEAKER_00:My candy cane ain't so straight anymore.
SPEAKER_01:Uh-oh. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Peronis the pepperonis disease.
SPEAKER_03:He's got pepperoni's disease.
SPEAKER_00:I haven't gotten an erection since.
SPEAKER_03:But you know what? That's kind of good for you. Less distractions.
SPEAKER_04:Look, uh no, I'll say this. I'll say this. Okay. I by the way. Look, I'm on I'm I'm on the pill too. I'm on the pill. We lost our audience. Oh boy. Um I look, I'm on the pill too. Yeah. He's juicing. I uh I went off it for about two months. Yeah. And I've decided to Wait a second.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Can I interrupt? I just did. Yeah. You're not on the pill, you're on the juice. You're on the phone.
SPEAKER_04:But I'm on propecia. Oh, so and the serum. So it's different. So I'm taking two things. Oh, I didn't know you were taking two things. Yeah. So I'm taking the finestrate and the monoxidone for my hair, right? And uh the doc you know, when I first like was prescribed this, the doctor said, you know, it can make your, you know, you can give me give me the same problem, but he said, you know, instead of you know being able to do it three times a day, you might only be able to do it once.
SPEAKER_05:Get it up, right?
SPEAKER_04:Get it up three times a day? Yeah. Why would you need that? Well, exactly. I went off it for two months. I if I'm ever if I ever go complete completely bald, I think I'm gonna stay on it. Because I went crazy for about two months. Like rock hard? What do you mean you went crazy? Like my sex drive was through the roof. I hated it. When you went off it? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you go back to what it was.
SPEAKER_00:I went back to what it was. I went back to like, you know. That's what it is. Also, you're you're uh younger and more vile.
SPEAKER_03:Viral?
SPEAKER_00:Viral. Viral. And vile. Yeah. I was gonna say viral, but I know that's more viral.
SPEAKER_04:Fertile too. No, it was just like a course inced through my veins. It was rough. But I'm back on the pill now.
SPEAKER_02:And uh my wife's never been more relieved. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But it's like a diet lobotomy. It's nice. It calms me down. It shows me out.
SPEAKER_03:You just you're kind of like, like, I'm just gonna focus on writing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, I wouldn't say I was super uh like beforehand, but also I'm older than you, so maybe I've mellowed out a little bit. But I just noticed I'll be honest, like this is a clean, but like I even tried to like jostle it. And it just was what was that?
SPEAKER_04:Is that how you tell guys to go fuck off?
SPEAKER_01:Like, ugh fuck off fuck off.
SPEAKER_00:It maybe wasn't the right well, you know what I'm saying. So Patreon. Yeah so it's been a it's been a harrowing week. Mm-hmm. If I if that's the right word. That's rough.
SPEAKER_03:Um you've been harrowed by it.
SPEAKER_00:Harrowed by it. Well but like so excited of what the future holds. But so I worry, there is a worry that like once I because I feel like the with me without the beard has really uh gotten rid of any chance of me being with a woman. Um because I it just the way my the way I look. Don't say that.
SPEAKER_03:And uh Yeah, there are a lot of older women.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well I I I'm starting to realize that that's where I have to go. But um but yeah, the the I have this, but then like if it grows back and and this doesn't go up anymore, then it's like, alright, for what? Just to look good in pictures?
SPEAKER_04:But is it like is it like you really want to and you can't?
SPEAKER_03:Or is it like you could get in there all mashed potato style?
SPEAKER_00:I've I've done that, but it's it it's just embarrassing. I've you know, I I've I've what do you mean embarrassing?
SPEAKER_04:How was that embarrassing Were you just like by yourself and be like, I swear this never happens to yourself?
SPEAKER_00:No, no, I'm saying it wasn't it's not embarrassing to myself, it's more frustrating for myself.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, frustrating, I get frustrated.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but it's gonna fold in the dough to get to build more gluten.
SPEAKER_00:If I am in a situation which I'm not, I'm not in a situation right now where But it's coming up in two months. But in two months, but but by the holidays, I have a feeling You'll be back.
SPEAKER_04:I'm back. Yeah, you'll be yeah. I will I will say when I started there was a little bit of a slowdown, you know, but it it corrected itself. You told me now Yeah. You told me it corrected itself. Yeah. We're like still not like where like I guess I am baseline, but I don't want that. Yeah, he wants to be baseline. Jack wants to be 50. I want to be 50 years old. I want to take my propecia and go bowling every Sunday night with the guys. Alright. And uh just you know, just to not want it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, we I use it more of a uh a sleeping agent at this point. I need like I that's part yeah, yeah. If I can't sleep, uh What do you do now?
SPEAKER_03:You just get home and you're like honey, I'm cooking dinner.
SPEAKER_04:I don't live with her.
SPEAKER_03:That's true.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So what do you do at night?
SPEAKER_04:No, I still do it. It's just not as much.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I still need And this is why I'm looking for a cat. Yeah. Because I need another hobby.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, now the cat's not in danger as it would be before. Oh, come on.
SPEAKER_00:If the adoption agency hears this, I'm out, bud.
SPEAKER_03:I know. We won't show the adoption. We'll wait until you get the cat to post this app on Patreon. Oh, believe me.
SPEAKER_04:No, but you just have to confirm that you're on the pill and they'll give it to you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm like, don't worry.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, no. Nothing bad can happen. Yeah, you should tell them that the first thing. Just be like First off, I'm on the pill. Yeah, I'm on the pill. I can't even get it up. Now, let me confusion.
SPEAKER_00:Let me ask you about a Russian blue cat. The confusion at the animal chapter. When I lead with I I don't get erect anymore. Yeah. I'm looking for a Russian blue cat.
SPEAKER_04:Excuse me, I don't get erect anymore.
SPEAKER_00:I want a cat.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, they're like, they're like, oh, thank God, because we're running out of dogs.
SPEAKER_00:Oh God. So embarrassing. But yeah, that was my week.
SPEAKER_03:I went camping. How was that? Camping was so much fun.
SPEAKER_04:I've never been camping.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, Jack, we're gonna go camping.
SPEAKER_00:We're gonna do camping for one night. Yeah. That's all I could handle. We're gonna do a one night camp.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So this is the thing about camping. It's the same as golfing, where it has nothing to do with camping. That is not the fun part at all. Sure, yeah. The fun part is drinking and uh making a fire.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I love making a fire. I'm staring into it. So yeah, like we had Moses.
SPEAKER_03:And like the thing is, you don't have to make a fi I thought you had to make a fire with like a flint.
SPEAKER_04:You could just get a log.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, my buddy just like was like, here you go, and he just gave me a flamethrower.
SPEAKER_00:What do you mean a flamethrower?
SPEAKER_03:It was a torch, but like it went out like uh like a foot. So you just like a long match? It it was a like a butane torch. Oh, cool. So you click on it and it just frickin'.
SPEAKER_04:You ever see somebody make creme boulet? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Was it like that? It was exactly like that. Wow. That's a noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I did it better. You you did you did it much better. Um but you just put a bunch of logs there, you get the fire going, and you feel kindling? Yeah, there's like I mean, like, I just kind of did an impromptu. Newspaper? No newspaper. Like you you can just light that log on fire. Oh wow, really? No. Well, we had some dry, some wet. Um the wet doesn't work as well.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's that's well known.
SPEAKER_03:But I did not prepare for how cold it was gonna be. I was freezing at night. And my wife was in a tent or yeah, I was in a tent. My wife was in her little sleeping bag, all cozy, and I was sitting next to her just shivering for and until the sun came in in the mor. Like when you're camping, it's just the most basic things that make you happy. Yeah. Again. We're back to uh caveman days, as you say. Yeah, the sun is out, and you're just like, oh my god, it's so warm, the sun, and there's so much like so much you gotta think about the proximity to the fire so much. It's like you want to be just a little bit away so it's not too hot, but if you get too close, you get burnt and you die. Uh like you we we cooked sweet potatoes in the fire. Oh, what a move.
SPEAKER_04:That sounds really good.
SPEAKER_03:It was a great move. Um our uh we we we uh we camped with a 21-year-old, uh, my friend's cousin. Yeah, and he uh told us stories about Roblox.
SPEAKER_00:See, that's something I don't know about.
SPEAKER_03:He literally was telling us stories about Roblox. He was telling us how his when he was a little bit younger, like I think maybe who knows, it could have been a year ago, yeah. Uh that he would pretend to be a girl on Roblox and they would buy him Roblox Robux. Oh my god. And he was like, I would make 40,000, 50,000 Robux, and we were like, wow, what does that relate to in dollars? It's like we were like, wow, that sounds like amazing. And it was like five dollars. Like it's like yen. Yeah, not even. And it's like and it's just it's so crazy the Roblox world. I don't know Roblox. I don't know it either, to be honest. It's kind of like Minecraft, but it's like I don't know, Minecraft. It's kind of like uh it's kind of like blocks.
SPEAKER_00:Like it's like digital Lincoln logs. I know blocks.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, digital Lincoln logs.
SPEAKER_00:I know Lincoln logs.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so it's basically like that. Except I guess guys wanna meet you on there. Is that true? I mean, d I got uh men want to meet you everywhere.
SPEAKER_00:Why are men so uh and we're one of them.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's why we gotta put them on monotony.
SPEAKER_04:I need to keep reminding myself that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That I'm a man. That's what we should do.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I I I've been doing that a lot. I'm like, don't forget.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, there was a lady in your parking lot here I stared at for about five seconds. We stared at each other for about five seconds and I didn't say anything. And I think she was a little creeped out. But it was just kind of like a thing of like, oh, we're both in the parking lot now. And in my mind, I was like, ooh, awkward situation. But in her mind I literally heard her go to her daughter in the back, she'd like get out of the car, get out of car now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And you're like, barely. Yeah, bare yeah. Well that's why I always try to be extra nice to people. Because I feel like I feel like I look so uh like ruggedy like a man, and I want them to know that I'm safe. Yeah. You know?
SPEAKER_03:You've uh I uh from my wedding, you've gotten a compliment that you make women feel safe.
SPEAKER_00:Oh that's see, that's a I feel like that's a very good compliment. Yeah, it's a good compliment if you can't get it up. Yeah, yeah. I'm even more safe now. You smell the limp dick. Oh, old spaghetti.
SPEAKER_03:They should be smelling hot dogs.
SPEAKER_00:Well, camping is such a beautiful way to disconnect.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And and the fire is a place I I was telling you earlier, I mean, I must have spent hours just staring into a burning fire. And it in and I never get bored. It's like the greatest television show that you've ever watched. You can look at a fire and with your friends around and just start talking and just stare into that fire for hours, deep into the night. Okay, it's like the newest iPhone version that just popped up right in front of you. That's how the that's how interesting the fire is. And you could cook on it, you could you could warmth yourself. I'm all out of stuff, but you know what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03:Well, the nice thing is that you can just sit there in silence with a fire.
SPEAKER_00:You can. And the crackle of it keeps the conversation going by itself.
SPEAKER_03:It's true.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. It's like the fire's talking to us. It is. It's like it's I've had some of my best conversations in front of a burning log. Maybe that means I don't have great conversations with people.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. And at a campsite?
SPEAKER_00:No, in general, I'm saying like in life, I feel like some of my best heart to heart with friends has been late at night in a fire.
SPEAKER_04:100%.
SPEAKER_00:Alright, you guys are you No, I I I'm with it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I'm with it. Yeah, I can think of like the the cabin, you know, my grandparents' cabin upstate. Like every time I go up there is like we're at the fire and then something we talk about something deep. Like really, it makes you talk about it. You get there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You do it gets you there. Because there's no distractions. I have to do that. No, it's true. We had a we had a few deep conversations.
SPEAKER_00:It's like uh there's like a hypnosis going with the flame. The flame is dancing, and you just you just wanna I don't know, you just wanna keep going.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and there's something about it, it's live, it pops, it like does things. You have to be present there. Smoke in your eyes, you gotta change seats. Yeah, exactly. You gotta move around the fire in different ways. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:All right, we're all gonna the the smoke is this way, everybody shift over one. Also, the smell of a fire to me is so I won't wash my sweatshirt. Delicious! Bottle it up, bottle it up. I love the smell of it.
SPEAKER_03:These are the candles that men want. We want burning ember. Yeah, burnt rubble. Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_04:I have white sage incense that I put in a little log cabin. Oh, you have a log cabin. I have a log cabin incense. It's beautiful. It smells like a log cabin. It lasts a week in my room. It smells like white sage. I don't know. It smells delicious. What is white sage? I have a friend named Sage. He's white. And he's white, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um that's uncommon. That's what they get that from. Because uh, if you're if you're a white sage, they bottled them up. Yeah, you gotta you gotta smell good.
SPEAKER_00:I like the idea of that little burning uh that that thing that you have. Yeah the uh the what is it called? The little lock cabin. Yeah, the little lock cabin.
SPEAKER_04:There's something comforting about that. It's very comforting. There's something comforting about sorry Andrew. It's like exactly what you're saying with the fire, but it just personal in your room.
SPEAKER_00:But it's personal smoke. Yeah, all right. Maybe I'll invest in that. Because I do, I just I don't know. Um especially this time of year, I love comfort. We all know this.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I invest in comfort.
SPEAKER_03:I think we gotta have a corduroy boys camping trip.
SPEAKER_00:I agree, but uh maybe we wait till it's not freezing. Can I ask you another question? Can we circle back on something? Sure. You said your wife was in a sleeping bag. Were you not you didn't have you don't own a sleeping bag?
SPEAKER_03:So I went to REI uh and I bought a sleeping I I bought a uh a blanket that you can button up into a sleeping bag. No! No, you're right. Wrong! Very wrong.
SPEAKER_04:It's gotta be a full like pocket. Is that what is that?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you gotta their flow. You have to be inside of the bag. I would just wake up at night shivering like a Siberian child.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, this is ridiculous. This is un you are unprepared. I I go so far as I bought a sleeping bag after I stopped camping to to uh just uh zip myself up on cold winter nights and watch television.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but you don't have to do that anymore now that you have the monoxidil because you can just be free. Not yet. You're not gonna you're not gonna act up. Not yet.
SPEAKER_00:Oh yeah, well, maybe. Um, but yeah, I zip myself up in this thing, man. There's something comforting to me about being in a sleeping bag. It's being hugged. You're being hugged. You be you're stuck in there. I love it. My favorite part of the camping trip is the sleeping bag.
SPEAKER_03:Hmm.
SPEAKER_00:I I'm shocked you didn't invest in sleeping bag.
SPEAKER_03:Cause I was gonna use the REI public library where I go and I get something at REI and then I return it, because that's what I did for this one. I should have.
SPEAKER_04:Andrew, this has twigs in it.
SPEAKER_03:She was like, Did you use it? And I was like, Well, I laid on it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you can't do that.
SPEAKER_03:But they let you return stuff there.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's weird.
SPEAKER_03:What's really bad is that like the best businesses, like like for consumers, get so abused. Yeah. Like that. Because of the return policy. Now rather lifetime. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:One to go lifetime the one is crazy.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Uh it worked when it was like you have to like mail in a letter for it to be like, hey, my pants are messed up. And they're like, okay, send in your pants. And then you mail in your pants. Now you just go into the store and you're like, I want a new one.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. See, I'm I don't ever take advantage of that though. I feel like there's so many things that I've bought where I'm like, I should return this, but I'll just I just won't wear it outside of my apartment now.
SPEAKER_03:Well, my shopping philosophy is everything has to have a warranty if it's over fifty dollars.
SPEAKER_00:I I mean I I just don't have that type of time in my life.
SPEAKER_03:You do though. Because it's like you instead of getting ten shitty pants like you have, uh you get three pairs of great pants.
SPEAKER_04:You think these are shitty pants? Brendan buys quality.
SPEAKER_03:These are Brendan does buy quality.
SPEAKER_00:These are brand new pants.
SPEAKER_04:I like those a lot, actually.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they are nice. What are they? I'm not gonna say there's no warranty, and he'll probably shit on it.
SPEAKER_03:But you get things with warranties, and then you go in and then you're just like, oh, like I love these pants so much. Yeah. I so I get Lululemon. Lululemon exclusive. Yeah. They're about$120. But every year I go in with all of them and I go, this one's messed up this way, this one's messed up this way, and the warranty when you get the new ones happens again.
SPEAKER_00:So you just buy pants to return in a year?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That you destroy yourself.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And then you get new ones and you start the process over with.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That's psychotic, but very smart. Yeah. You know that's insane. Um No, it's smart, but that's insane. That's an insane way to live. I think for a way to live.
SPEAKER_03:I wish I had that. I don't Well, you would go to shop for pants again.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, but here's the thing. When I buy new pants, what what happens? Here's here's what happens. I I bring the pants home, and the tags I I rip them off. I they they they fly out of my of the of the jean or wherever they they they fly out. I try them on, I'm like good enough, and that's it. And then I I shove them in the corner of my bedroom, and I I'm I the receipt is gone.
SPEAKER_03:You don't need at real stores, they like keep documentation of the receipt. I don't like how do I at Roy Rogers or Arthur Treacher's or wherever you buy pants, like they're not they're not keeping these receipts.
SPEAKER_00:Arthur Treacher's Long John Silver pants. Yeah, you think they probably sell corduroy though, you know? It's true. Um, so how do you let them know that I bought this? Because I have a car heart jacket, a raincoat I bought for when I went to Ireland, and the inside is shedding. It's shedding like a dog.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Then you just go back to that store, they'll have it on file. And and say what? Say I'd like to use my uh 27th Amendment right to bring in this and get it fixed but via warranty.
SPEAKER_00:We are so different because like I don't have like I I'm shame, I'm I'm ashamed to like to be like to look for that.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know. I I find it to be rewarding. You're right.
SPEAKER_04:In that situation in that situation, though, if it's like actually falling apart, it's shedding. Yeah, if it's shedding, I would like to I would actually bring it back. I'm more likely to do what you're doing. I don't think I could do what Andrew's doing. I don't think I can do it.
SPEAKER_03:I think you need stronger will and you can save some money.
SPEAKER_00:I need stronger will in a lot of things in my life.
SPEAKER_03:I do too. But this is just one of those things.
SPEAKER_00:But that's that's what you one of your strong points.
SPEAKER_03:At Apple, I deal so much with warranties, and I see how like seriously they take it that I'm like, oh, then every other place has warranties. But like you do it and they just they don't care at the start. I understand. They're like they roll their eyes and they're like, whatever, like, sure. Like, here, have new pants.
SPEAKER_00:But this is probably thr uh like five years old at this point.
SPEAKER_03:What it oh the the car heart, yeah. I mean, you're you might be screwed. Maybe just get a new one and then like uh sign up for a membership at Carhartt or whatever the heck they show them I look at shed. I don't know what their warranty policy is like. They seem like they'd have a good warranty policy. I feel like they would.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like they would. But it's something that bothers me because I love the coat, I really love it, but anytime I take it off, parts of the inside are on my arm. Yeah. It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_04:You ever have ever have a down jacket and then the feathers just Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And you're like, you think this thing's gonna be like thin, but it just doesn't, you know, it stays puffy.
SPEAKER_00:It's amazing. It's like how many chickens were murdered for me to s because I I mean I'm losing feathers every day. I had a Ralph uh Lauren beautiful puffy coat. I'm telling you, throughout the years, I must I must have lost like 20, 20 feathers a day. I'd walk into a room and you'd like I I'd I'd take the coat off, be sitting for a while, and I'd see a feather just floating. I'm like, oh, that's mine. Look like you know, that scene in Forest Gump with a feathers.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's like a discount version of entering with doves. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Just those little feathers. But yeah, they pile those feathers in there, man. They pile them in there.
SPEAKER_04:And they're very warm, very warm, Jack.
SPEAKER_00:They are, they are. But like I'm at the point when I was younger, I loved one of those down coats, but now I'm puffy enough as it is, and like the amount of times people would call me the stay puffed marshmallow man has like I'm done. Like I can't, I I'm I can't wait. I can't I have to try to be less puffy in life, that I can't add more puff to the how uh puffy I am.
SPEAKER_03:Being called the stayed puffed marshmallow man is like exclusively in comic circles at this point. Is it? I would say so. I feel like most people aren't going like aren't referencing Ghostbusters. You should be around me. That's true. Your friends are probably referencing Ghostbusters.
SPEAKER_00:They're saying it all the time. They're like, you know what I'm taking. You know what I really want right now? Some ectoplasm. Do you guys remember maybe this is before your time or after your time? The uh remember the juice boxes, the ecto coolers?
SPEAKER_03:I was they were they by was it made by uh Sunny Delight?
SPEAKER_00:No. I want to say high C. It was it was like the you remember like the cardboard juice boxes or or was that done by the time you I was a pouch man.
SPEAKER_04:He's a poucher.
SPEAKER_00:I grew up in an era where that we didn't have pouches. Yeah, I was exclusively pouch. No, we didn't have pouches. We had we had the cardboard juice boxes, uh, Lipton sips. Do you guys remember Lipton? Sips. Oh, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Two S's, sips. Yeah. One of my all-time favorites. Very good. And and but the Ecto Cooler, man, that was good. That was a good juice box. Uh Pacific Cooler. Pacific Cooler. Is that uh Capri Sun. Capri Sun. Oh, see, I I had Capri Suns. You're right. That's that was good too. Yeah. Yeah, except when you stab it all the way through.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. My dad did that recently. Recently? Come on, dude. Uh dude, one of the- Wait, hold on. He he visits my aunt. I have to go pick him up because he dropped off her car, whatever. He comes out of her house with a juice pouch that she has for when her grandkids come over. And he goes, I love these things. They are and just right through the back.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god. You have to more you have to have more control.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, seven-year-olds figure that out.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, but those they are dangerous though.
SPEAKER_00:They are. They are. But that's what makes them fun. And there's only like a chance for puncturing. Three ounces of juice in there. I know. But you know what? I when I was young, I heard a rumor that if you if you drink it all, and then you blow into the thing and it you know how you blow into the straw and the thing pops open like a you know like a full colostomy bag, um, then more liquid shows up at the bottom. Which isn't it can't be true, but I found it to be true when I was young.
SPEAKER_04:Thoughts?
SPEAKER_00:That's pretty exciting.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I think if you suck it flat, the juice does get stuck in those in the crevices of the stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so that's so I th I guess that's what the what the science behind it is. Also, have you seen when people like cut into them and it looks like there's like it doesn't look good in there? It don't look right. No, like there's like I don't know if it's like uh there's a material in it and it looks like a worm has almost formed at the bottom of your Pacific Kool-Aid. I don't want to see it. No, we don't want to see it. I don't want to see it.
SPEAKER_04:Alright, should we get onto our celebrity DMs here? Yeah. Sure. Since Brendan already sent, did you send yours? No.
SPEAKER_00:Well right, so let me just explain. Well, you explain Let's explain the premise of this.
SPEAKER_04:The the premise is that we want to send celebrities DMs to see if we can just get a response, but hopefully maybe it'll lead to getting them on the on the podcast. Right. You know? So We're little guys right now. We're little guys, we need some help, and we w, you know, just wanna we just want some some uh appreciation, some uh acknowledgement from the the A listers or B listers or C listers.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, any lister.
SPEAKER_04:Any lister, we're not we're on no lists. I mean, Brendan might be on one particular list.
SPEAKER_00:Here's here's the the the fault with that though. What? Because I was going back and I have DM'd you have a history hundreds. But mostly athletes. Anytime one of my favorite sports athlete gets uh well anybody anybody that gets drafted to the Jets, I send that player a DM. Welcome to the team, bud. The city's gonna love you. It's a pretty standard message. Um I've sent I've sent it to some celebrities here or there, but what my thing is they're not writing back. So like I sent uh my DM today, like I can go over some of my old ones, um, but the one I sent today, I would I sent it earlier in hopes that maybe this guy sees it and and responds. There's no way they're gonna see it right away. Like when you send a celebrity a DM, chances are hours after you send it, they'll get back to you. Of course.
SPEAKER_04:That's expected.
SPEAKER_03:That's why you gotta have uh the header line be really good. I didn't think about this that hard when I was writing mine, but if you say something like attention, make a wish. Or help. Yeah, or help, uh No, I feel like Help, my girlfriend's beating me, help. Yeah. Yeah. And then you explain that it's at FIFA.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:The amount of the amount of people I've DM'd that now I haven't had a few people that gotten back to me as well, but they're minor celebrities. But like the amount I was watching kids. Um there's a there's an ex-Jets quarterback, Sam Darnold, that I messaged throughout his career. Number uh 14. Yeah. Did he ever get back to you? Not once. And I've sent like seven DMs. I I sent him like, hey Sam, looking forward to watching you tear it up this season, hoping my Jets get a shot at you next year. Good luck. That was when he was in college. Then when he got drafted, I said, Welcome to the Jets, Sam. Couldn't beat happy to have your quarterback. I I at one point I wish him happy Memorial Day, you big stud. And then it and then there's photos I sent to him. Eventually I'm just like, you're you're you're gonna be great with the Panthers because he left. There was a whole there was a there was a three-month period where I started asking MLB players about their mitts. Where I asked, I What link do you got? I I said uh I sent one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I sent seven baseball players basically the same question. I said, Do you use the same mitt during the whole season or do you switch it up? I sent that to Derek Jeter, to to Chad Wallach. Big one to start with. Yeah, I started with Jeter.
SPEAKER_03:You're gonna start with like a second baseman.
SPEAKER_00:And then I did. I sent then after that, Chad Wallach, Jimmy Hergert, Ken Wadachuk, Miles Straw, who's in the World Series tonight, and Anthony Volpe, and also Mr. Met. I sent that to.
SPEAKER_03:We should try some minor leaguers.
SPEAKER_00:That's probably where to go. Because they'll be excited.
SPEAKER_03:We need to start low, build our way up.
SPEAKER_00:And then I sent I sent a message to Joseph Kwan. He is the he plays the cello in my favorite band, the Avid Brothers. And I just wrote, the bread looks he was he was baking sourdough bread. And this is a shot in the dark. I just wrote, the bread looks great, man. Is it sourdough? Nothing better than fresh homemade bread out of the oven. And to my surprise, he wrote back right away. Yes, sourdough. And I said, Cool, good luck with it. Bread baking is addicting. And then he kept going. Really? He goes, It's a bit meditative and zen, constrained by time and temp, water and grain. And then I was like, I was like, this is too much for me. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:You had to shake him off.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I was like, dude, I can't, I can't get into this anymore with you. Um Paul Versey, the comedian. I I I told him I I run a show and he and he and he wrote back, Cool man, I appreciate it. Because uh well and and yeah, it's just a lot of you just told him that what a stand-up show? Yeah, I I because I think he was coming to governors or something. Oh, I was like, next time I don't and it I don't know what I was doing there.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, I have a hand-up a stand-up show.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, no, that's cool, cool.
SPEAKER_00:I can tell you exactly I said, dude, you're hilarious. Next time you're back on Long I Long Island, I run a show ten minutes from Governors. Would love to have you come by. Um I wrote to Zach Wilson an all-time bust for the New York Jets. This is this is what I wrote to him. You're gonna be a beast. Can't wait to follow your career.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I think you I think I think you put too much pressure on him. Yeah, I probably that's why he was a bust for the Jets.
SPEAKER_00:And then the latest one I did, this is a difficult one, but just last Monday, I sent a DM to Nick Mangold, the New York Jets. No way. Swear to God, to Nick Mangold, because Nick Mangold needed a kidney. So I sent him a DM on Monday saying, you know, listen, I had two of them. Third one maybe on the way. It it was a breeze, all this stuff. I say, you know, basically send him my story. He didn't respond, and then he died two days later. So I mean, I'm involved, bro, with with DMing people. Too much pressure on this guy on these guys. So, yeah, that's my whole DM. Yeah. So so I want I I did DM somebody this afternoon, or when we decided to do this. So um, I want to hear what you guys did. I need to go last because my phone. Okay. You want me to, since I'm already talking?
SPEAKER_04:Let Andrew do his.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Alright, this was mine. Hello to the Bush's baked beans team. My name is Andrew, and I'm on a podcast.
SPEAKER_02:Are you trying to get that recipe?
SPEAKER_03:Oh boy. My name's Andrew, and I'm on the a podcast called the Corduroy Boys, and we love beans. I revere the Bush's Bean Company, and I even love that you've done chili. What pairs best with some baked beans, some say a burger, some say a hot dog, I say corduroy.
SPEAKER_02:I love this.
SPEAKER_03:My co-host Brendan can't stop talking about them and how they don't make him too gassy. How do you do that? He's typically gassy from everything. We have more questions similar to that one. If you want to send a representative or a bean-loving dog, we'd love to speak with you or a dog. Honestly, we'll take any customer service rep or even an HR person or even a janitor. Not that they're less important than dogs. I just mentioned dogs first. We'd also accept coupons for free beans as a win, and we'd eat them on the podcast, even though they say you shouldn't eat on podcasts. I think that beans are an exception. You can eat them with no teeth. That helps us all in the long run, since RFK is taking fluoride out of our water, and my wife only buys discount toothpaste. P.S. I'm really jealous that you're able to coordinate a collaboration with the cartoon dog Bluey, as he's a legend in this field. We'd appreciate if you could also put us in touch with Bluey and uh PPS, my favorite flavor is onion. Wow.
SPEAKER_00:Now that is a DM for the ages right there. That's right. They didn't get back to you because that's something they should get back. Bush's baked beans should be back to us right now.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I didn't send it yet. We're gonna send it on the show.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, alright. Oh, dude, I think we have a shot. I think we might have our first sponsor, to be honest.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like that would be really exciting.
SPEAKER_00:I think that's very smart.
SPEAKER_04:I think that, yeah. We should be asking for sponsorships aggressively on the podcast. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Because what do they have to send us? A shirt, some beans? You're right. Literally, like$25 would be nice.$25? We should start asking for$25.
SPEAKER_04:$25 for any brand. Um I'm talking uh ace bandages. I'm talking consumer household brands.$25. We'll promote you on the podcast. Duracell. Yeah. Duracell. Um uh Energy, Miracle Grow. Um Dove Dove.
SPEAKER_00:Yo. I think somebody's got a message Dove.
SPEAKER_03:We got a message Dove.
SPEAKER_00:I'm an Irish Spring guy myself, but if Dove sends me something, goodbye, Irish Spring. Hello, Dove.
SPEAKER_04:I'm an Ivory Man, but that's only because Dove. I wish I had$25 to spend on Dove.
SPEAKER_03:Did you imagine if we got$25 to spend on Dove?
SPEAKER_04:That would be That's a bar, it's like at least a bar or two for us a week. 25 bars, guys. Are you guys so? I like a bar.
SPEAKER_00:Or or you you're you uh it lathers up nicer than buying. Dude, because I'm both. I like a bar on the side, almost as an appetizer. Like a little chaser. Yeah, but I do have my I like the gel. The gel is like, all right, this is old, this is this is not uh what are you scrubbing with? You scrubbing? I don't use a loofah. Okay. I don't use a I uh I don't use a washcloth. I'm a typical white man and I use my hands. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:He gets it all in those crevices. Yeah. I use a gauchi towel, which is like a Of course you do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Do you know what it is? It's it sounds Asian and you use a lot of Asian things.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, I do use a lot of Asian things. But it's a it's it's basically like a loofah towel and it's long, so you can like you put a little bit you put a little squeeze of the uh the body wash in there, you squeeze it around, and then it gets all soapy, and then you it exfoliates and it is like a big washcloth thing. Um I do that twice a week. Rest of them I'm going all hands.
SPEAKER_00:Now wait a second, why do you only do it twice a week? Does it have to be cleaned?
SPEAKER_03:No, it's just that like I I it's you don't want to wear it out. That's my deep clean. Oh that's my exfoliating deep clean.
SPEAKER_00:A deep clean. I I yeah, I don't know. I I had loofahs, but they they they just sit there and I feel like they get wet and then they get like a I feel like they mold easily. That's what they say. That's my worry about a loofah. These hands don't mold.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's true. That's a very good point.
SPEAKER_00:But when your hands do mold, then it's time for a loofah. Then it's time for a loofah. That is the what you did is perfect. I love that. I actually love that. So can we have him just send it right now? How is this how how are we doing it? Oh, we're gonna we're gonna because now I want to create another one for for a different company. Yeah. And see what company comes through.
SPEAKER_03:We can we can we can keep doing these. I think that this is the best way to blow us up.
SPEAKER_00:Because I didn't go I didn't go for a company, I went for a man. Yeah. This guy can't do anything for us.
SPEAKER_04:That's fine. It was it was we could it was up to interpretation. Whatever our inspiration was. I had somebody that I felt very strongly that about that I wanted to reach out to. You guys were obviously thinking about beans a lot, so Andrew went for Bush's Yeah, I think. And maybe you think Bush, the man, is uh not George Bush, but like you know, the family, whoever owns like the family I'm assuming it's a family company. Yeah. It's a secret recipe. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's a secret recipe.
SPEAKER_03:I don't tell nobody. But maybe we can get it out of them.
SPEAKER_00:If we're nice. By the way, bake uh Bush's baked beans are the only beans I'll I'll truly eat. Can I be honest? Don't be too honest. We're working on sponsorship.
SPEAKER_04:I'm a Campbell's guy.
SPEAKER_03:Campbell's baked beans?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, pork and beans.
SPEAKER_03:Get it! Get it out of here.
SPEAKER_04:No, to me that's the classic. That's the classic.
SPEAKER_03:Is pork and beans baked beans?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Are you allergic to flavor? This one I I like this, I like the type of flavor better. There's something in Bush's that it's fine, I'll do it. I'll do it. It's good. But there's a little something that's in there that Campbell's doesn't have, and I appreciate it. Yeah, it's called class.
SPEAKER_03:It's called flavor.
SPEAKER_04:You're gonna say Bush's has more class than Campbell's.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Yeah. I don't think so.
SPEAKER_04:100%. Maybe more attitude.
SPEAKER_00:Campbell's is a soup brand.
SPEAKER_03:Stick to what you know. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Stick to what you know, Campbell's. Sorry. Get away from my beans. Give me back the bushes.
SPEAKER_03:I want my beans back. I'm actually back beans back.
SPEAKER_00:I'm shocked that you just said that.
SPEAKER_04:Sorry. I hope that doesn't mess up our Bush's sponsor. Because I do like bushes. I do like Bushes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but I mean it it's coming in second for you. I've never Bush's baked beans is always uh first place for me.
SPEAKER_04:I think that you have, you know, I think that you you fall for the advertising techniques.
SPEAKER_03:I fall for the flavor. They have different flavors. Brendan falls in love with the flavor. I know this about him. He knows this. I've known Brendan for a long time, and he loves flavors.
SPEAKER_04:Brendan loves branding.
SPEAKER_00:That is true. I do love branding.
SPEAKER_03:It's also true.
SPEAKER_00:I do love branding. Alright.
SPEAKER_04:But whatever. Branding Ryan.
SPEAKER_00:Um, I I'm I'll I'll I'll read you my with the one I did send. Um, it's it's uh I sent to Ralph Macchio. Because he's a Long Island guy. I wrote, hey Ralph, fellow Long Islander here. I'm recording a podcast tonight. We're playing a game where we try to get celebrities to write back to us on Instagram. You're my guy I picked. Hopefully you see this. Big fan and let's go, Islanders, because he's an Islander fan. And then I sent a little karate emoji.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like he will write back to you because he thinks you're nine years old.
SPEAKER_00:But that's a win, right? That would be a big win.
SPEAKER_03:We could karate any age.
SPEAKER_00:Dude, if the karate kid comes back to me, I mean he's basically our first guest.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I uh I can't believe you didn't mention the tree lighting. He's gonna be doing the Huntington tree lighting. You didn't know that?
SPEAKER_03:You didn't know he's doing the Huntington Tree?
SPEAKER_04:He's inundated with DMs then.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe, but I'm saying everyone's sending us notes. I think No, I screwed up. I didn't know he was doing the tree lighting. Oh, you didn't it's it's been the talk of the town. Not the EAB. We're talking about Rockefeller Center. No, we're talking about Huntington. Oh, Huntington. Oh, yeah. Maybe I can get him in. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. No, I think I go over there with a sign or something. Everybody's hyped for it. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I didn't see that. I bet he's hyped for it, so I think that could have helped.
SPEAKER_00:Nah, he's probably too busy. Alright, well, that's that's who I wrote. But now I want to do a brand. I almost wrote to Joey Botofuco, but I figured he doesn't fit our brand. You know who Joey Botofuco is?
SPEAKER_04:Uh yeah, he murdered somebody, or his girlfriend murdered somebody.
SPEAKER_03:Uh he sounds like an Italian dish.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, he's from Mass Picago. He's a hometown hero.
SPEAKER_04:He's the one that popularized um uh what was the what was the phrase? Um forget about it? No, not forget about it. Um, he he popularized a big phrase. Uh why'd you shoot my wife? No. Um anyway. We'll insert it into the podcast. Okay. Alright.
SPEAKER_00:You tell me.
SPEAKER_04:Alright. Let me do I guess let me do mine. Hey, still recording.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, that hey, that's a plus. There's still a camera on me.
SPEAKER_04:We love that. Alright. My I thought long and hard about who I should DM. And once Brendan can't do that anymore. No, he can't do that. Um he was never able to do the long part. That's for sure. Yeah. Uh we love this, we love this. Um we love these things, we love these things. Uh Brendan, bring in the content, bring in inspiration. Um But once once I thought of who of this person, I was like, of course. Of course.
SPEAKER_00:Natasha Bettingfield. Oh, of course. Oh yeah. The rest is uh still unwritten. Unlike the message that you sent. I did finish the message.
SPEAKER_04:Um I can't wait to send this to her. I can't wait to hear it. Dear Natasha, I started it like a letter. She's gonna be our best friend. She's gonna be our best friend.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, she might be a big fan.
SPEAKER_04:Um I heard through the Grapevines, fan of the pod.
SPEAKER_03:It's possible. It's very possible.
SPEAKER_04:You never know. We don't know how long these Grapevines are. You know, she may have gotten the unlisted YouTube link I sent Andrew. We don't know. But dear Natasha.
SPEAKER_00:Let me so proud of himself.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:I love when proud of his first. I love when Jack is proud of what he wrote. I mean. I've never think about it. He has no Jack can't control himself.
SPEAKER_03:And he could be at a birthday, he could be at his own birthday party, and someone got him the best gift in the world, and everyone is singing to him and whatever, and he would be stoic. It's one quick little line.
SPEAKER_00:There's people that have known Jack for over 10 years, they're like, I don't know if he likes me. He's never smiled at me. I'm like, well, to see Jack smile, you have to watch him look at something that he did. And now we're watching it. I've been laughing about this all day.
SPEAKER_04:Dear Natasha. Dear Natasha. I don't know if I'll be able to say it. It's so stupid. You're gonna have to stupid. Okay. Let me be the first to congratulate you on all your success.
SPEAKER_02:So stupid.
SPEAKER_03:You're such an idiot. You'll like this. He's crying.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, this idiot is crying. You've never made him laugh this hard. I've never. Dude, and I never will. No, you never will. Nobody will make Jack laugh harder than Jack.
SPEAKER_04:Oh man. Alright. Stop. I get I get ugly when I cry. No, you don't. Alright. Let me be the first to congratulate you on the case.
SPEAKER_03:The tears streaming down Dak's face right now. Very misty.
SPEAKER_04:Don't ever ask me to do a prank with you. I will laugh way too hard. I crumble at pranks. Any kind of setup situation, I can't, even if it's so stupid, I can't do it. Oh man, I would never I would never be an impractical joker. I couldn't do it. Alright. Um let me be the first to congratulate you on all your success. Well deserved. Your music has left a mark on this world that even an expensive high polymer eraser couldn't remove. And that's just that's just that's just poetry.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, that's great.
SPEAKER_04:I know you must be very busy living your dream out there on this big blue ball we call Earth. But if there's ever an opportunity for you and your pocket full of sunshine to chill on the Corduroy Boys podcast with me and my two friends Andrew and Brendan, it would be an honor. We could help promote your Tour or perhaps a new album, which the whole world has been waiting on the edge of a mountain for. We just want to sit down with the amazing Natasha Bettingfield. Who knows what this could mean for all of our careers? The rest is still unwritten. Sincerely, Jack. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_03:You had to get the rest is still unwritten in there. Yeah, I did. I feel like if you don't write that in something to her, that she just totally ignores it.
SPEAKER_04:No, I have a feeling that she wants she really needs that. Yeah. You know, which I I mean you did that with the uh karate emoji, you know, be like, Yeah, you have to play to their hits. You know, I really wish I could have snuck a deep cut in there, but I only looked at her Spotify top ten and that was a top two second.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I feel like if you s if you slip a dip a deep cut, a dip cut, if you if you s if you slip like a song that's a like one of her favorites, but you that's like a guarantee she's like, oh, this person gets it.
SPEAKER_04:Maybe we'll workshop the letter here. We could do that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think uh go to Natasha Bettingfield on Apple Music or Spotify and choose the seventh song down.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like I shouldn't use any of her top ten. I feel like I should go, I should go first album like eighth track.
SPEAKER_03:Alright, debut album, eighth track.
SPEAKER_00:By the way, is there a way you could play that? Because if it's a total hack song, we'll know right away, I feel, in the first 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_03:You can play it for three seconds. 2004. Up to three seconds, and it's all good.
SPEAKER_04:One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. We're all mad in our own way. Okay, so this means something. In our we're all mad in our way.
SPEAKER_00:Play it. Play play it quick for the first.
SPEAKER_03:You could you could end it by saying, if you don't come on, we're gonna be all mad in our way.
SPEAKER_04:That seems aggressive. Yeah, you're right. I don't you know, I like how you worked it in though.
SPEAKER_03:Just kinda hit the first three or first.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that's gonna be that's gonna be like the intro. I'm looking up the lyrics. But we need to I need to get the vibe.
SPEAKER_03:We need to know the vibe. We need three seconds, up to three seconds. We're allowed.
SPEAKER_00:I'll know before I even hear a word come out of her mouth. If it meant something. Hold on.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I think the lady did protest too much. That's Shakespeare. Um I believe that's Hamlet. Uh she wouldn't take the flower from my hand. She only saw the shadow of my circumstance. Perception can describe what makes a man. That might be a good idea.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like it's she's trying she's trying to give money to a homeless person.
SPEAKER_04:I don't mean to interrupt your stride. Maybe because she's too busy. We can work that in there, you know. I don't mean to interrupt your stride. Oh, that's good. On the tour. I'm assuming she's on tour. Yeah. Um, but a rose was all.
SPEAKER_00:No, I think that's too generic. I don't know if she's gonna see that. You think so?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Okay. Sometimes beauty isn't recognized when it contrasts with what you feel inside. Who's to say the darkened clouds must lead to rain? Who's to say the problems should just go away? Who's to point a finger at what's not understood? Because we're all mad in our own way. Colours fade the gray away.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe that's something I think that's probably the lyric that we would use. Colors fade the gray away.
SPEAKER_04:Fill the sky with different shades, read the story on each page.
SPEAKER_00:She's got a lot of lyrics about pages.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's focused on writing. This is from the unwritten album. Yeah. Um reveals the reading the meaning.
SPEAKER_00:Um I still don't know the vibe of the song. I'm I'm sorry, Jack. Okay, I'll play the first three seconds.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, of course, of course. You can choose any three seconds.
SPEAKER_04:Let's just do the first uh we'll do the first we'll do the intro here.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, I get it. Yeah. I think that's uh very 2000s. I don't think that's something that she plays at concerts today, but maybe it does mean something to her. Maybe that's something she wrote at a time before she was famous.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So I'm going to By the way. She she really is a she's a poet. Like it's not just words thrown together on a paper, if I could use one of her page pages. Right.
SPEAKER_03:She'll appreciate that.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. She has to finish the song quadruple chorus. The chorus four times in a row. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_00:She's really trying to get her point across, it sounds.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:She can be our best friend.
SPEAKER_00:She could be.
SPEAKER_03:She could be a friend of the pot.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna say after here, I say What do you think that you think our chances are Natasha Bettingfield or Ralph Macchio? I have the strongest chance.
SPEAKER_04:I have the strongest chance.
SPEAKER_00:See, but Ralph is from Long Island. No, to be honest. I know my I know my my my DM wasn't as lyrically pleasing, but Ralph's a knock-around guy. He's one of us. He is. He's lighting the tree down in Huntington.
SPEAKER_04:I was playing Devil's Advocate, and I just I can't come up with anything. So, but no, I agree. Ralph Macchio, local guy.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, Natasha seems like she's from California.
SPEAKER_00:Should we look that up too? I feel like she's from Tulsa. I think she's a Midwest gal.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, I'm gonna say, and I I swear I haven't looked this up. I'm going to say Des Moines.
SPEAKER_05:I swear I haven't looked this up.
SPEAKER_04:I'm gonna say uh Seattle.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. See, that's good because you're saying West, you're saying Northwest, and I'm saying Midwest.
SPEAKER_04:Natasha Bettingfield is a British.
SPEAKER_00:No. Oh, she's never getting back to us.
SPEAKER_04:Singer and songwriter.
SPEAKER_00:Damn it!
SPEAKER_03:Why'd you choose her, Jack?
SPEAKER_04:She's from Cuckfield. Alright, so I'm the field. I I have this line here. Your music has left a mark on this world that not even a high polymer eraser couldn't remove. I feel like a British lady would like that line. She would. They're very into uh uh ridiculous things. Yeah, they love stationery. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Do you think we could do a bushes baked bean uh a baked beans? Collab? Collab with a brit?
SPEAKER_04:With a brittle. Oh yeah, because I like beans and toast. Yeah, beans and toast. Cold beans out of the tin. Yeah. Um, that would be good. Um we should like should I should I put this in the message?
SPEAKER_00:I should say I I I feel like you don't want to go what if they see a message that's way too long.
SPEAKER_04:Is that intriguing bushes in England though? That's such an important thing we I don't think. That's what it is?
SPEAKER_00:Okay. No, I don't think we cross-contaminate.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think we do. Not not at first, not at first meet. We'll work them together. Not at first meet. Maybe eventually not a first bean. Eventually, maybe. If one gets back to us, be like, hey, listen, we're in this other relationship, we're trying to toss talk to Nastasha Bedingfield.
SPEAKER_03:But what if we say to Bush's that we know Natasha Bedingfield, a Brit, and to Natasha Beddingfield that we know Bush's baked beans, a bean.
SPEAKER_04:I I lost track of what you so I'm I'm working in the colors line.
SPEAKER_03:So we let Natasha Beddingfield know, like, hey, we we like have a really good relationship with Bush's baked beans. Know you love beans. And then to Bush's, we'll be like, we're really tight with Natasha Bettingfield. Yeah. She's British. She loves beans.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. Do we do that now or we work it in when they respond?
SPEAKER_00:I want you both to send those messages.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I think that that's good for now, right? That concludes this episode. Um, no uh no uh dope or or dope what did we call it? Yeah, nobody wrote into us. Yeah, nobody no, we had actually thousands to sort through and we couldn't. Yeah, we'll get back to it next week.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. They they they heard the name change and they're like, I'm done. Yeah, yeah. Some people miss poopy head of the week. Yeah, we've actually heard from a lot of people that we almost went a full episode without hearing that word.
SPEAKER_03:The good word? That would have been nice.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, but uh, you know, the the ju the the juice kind of fell off the bit when the name change came. I don't know if you picked up on that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:I just felt like when Brendan said Poopy Head of the Week, that it was like It was like Natasha Beddingfield singing on written. Oh, was that what it was like? Yeah. What do you think it's like?
SPEAKER_03:Andrea Bocelli.
SPEAKER_04:Mmm.
SPEAKER_03:Is he the blind guy?
SPEAKER_04:And Ed Sheeran together.
SPEAKER_03:And Ed Sheeran's also a blind guy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Ed Sheeran's. Those albino guys, they're they go blind like nothing.
SPEAKER_03:It's true. One look at the sun, done.
SPEAKER_04:They're like rats with those red eyes. Whatever. Um, Ed Sheeran, if you want to come on too. Maybe I'll miss it. Yeah, maybe we'll read it. Yeah, we've always been kind to him on this podcast. Um, so alright. Alright, good night. Good night, good night, guys.