Today I’m talking with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, holistic psychologist, and personal development expert. She’s a best-selling author and award-winning speaker, appearing on Fox, CBS, and TedEx, and is dedicated to helping people heal from past betrayals.
Learning the Effects of Betrayal
Dr. Silber has been in the business for 30 years, starting with a focus on health and personal development. After a series of betrayals, she decided to return to school for her Ph.D., knowing that something had to change. Her degree was in Transpersonal Psychology, in which she did a study on betrayal and what it does physically and emotionally.
Dr. Silber has made and confirmed three discoveries: betrayal feels different than other traumas, such as disease and death; a collection of common symptoms make up what is now post-betrayal syndrome; and, by healing the betrayal entirely, you can come out the other side an entirely changed person.
The Stages of Betrayal
In the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, Dr. Silber and her certified coaches help clients identify and move through the stages of betrayal. Most people get stuck in Stage 3, where survival instincts take over after the build-up and the trauma itself. Small self benefits of having sympathy or someone to blame are often what keep people in this stage.
Stage 4 involves willingly moving on and finding a new normal. This, Dr. Silber explains, already begins to turn down the stress response and mitigate the damage done by Stage 3. Then, in Stage 5, the transformative rebirth happens as you’re finally able to see more clearly and feel grounded.
The Transformation of Overcoming Betrayal
Dr. Silber wants listeners to know that betrayal trauma can be overcome. “Just because this has been your experience,” she says, “doesn’t mean it has to be your sentence.” Betrayal is just one chapter in someone’s entire life story.
Dr. Silber describes how a completely new person emerges from Stage 5, after fully healing and embracing their new narrative. She’s seen new levels of health and relationships in the people who have passed through her institute. The beauty of betrayal, she believes, is in that transformation.
Listen in to learn more about the effects of betrayal, the different healing processes after betrayal, and how to know if you have post-betrayal syndrome.
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