Growing up, we didn't fear Halloween. Our fright night was served up with collard greens, baked mac and cheese, a turkey deep fried, a glazed honey ham, and sweet potato pie.

Around the table we'd sit, twitching in place as Big Mama prayed her unending grace. Uncle Lee smelled of reefer, Grandpa of cigars. Aunt Ree brought theeee most shiftless boyfriend so far. Mama would remind her sons to stay in kids' places, while older cousin Jimmy challenged them to foot races. 

Divorces, politics or an overcooked bird were our holiday horrors. Now ain't that a word? What was supposed to be a day of deep gratitude was a kickoff for everyone's bad attitude. Scorned spaghetti, deflated pies, and a chitlin' feud would leave all the grown folks in a dangerous mood. 

So we take you now to a home, no, make that a table. To share the first of our family fables.

Myth Lab Entertainment presents Home for the Holidays, a new horror comedy anthology. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.