Let's Chat: Real Questions, Honest Answers | Grief, Responsibility, & Healing

Let’s talk about the messy middle of change. The part where you know what to do but still can’t make yourself do it. We open a new season with a candid Q&A on why “feeling stuck” doesn’t mean you’re broken, how to stop giving your power to other people, and what it really takes to set boundaries that last. From late-night spirals to skipped workouts, we pull resistance out into the light and turn discomfort into data you can use.

We get honest about the belief that loved ones keep us trapped and replace it with radical ownership, plus a safety check when choice isn’t available. You’ll learn why people-pleasing drains self-worth, how self-boundaries rebuild trust with yourself, and why guilt shows up when you start saying no. 

We also normalize something few admit: it’s common to miss people who hurt you. Grief is part of healing, not a sign you made the wrong call. We offer language, mindset shifts, and small practices to hold that paradox without backsliding into chaos. The conversation closes with a surprising turn; what to do when life improves and you barely recognize the person in the mirror. Imposter feelings don’t mean you’re faking it; they tell you your identity is catching up to your choices. 

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SEE SHOW NOTES HERE!

We’re also launching monthly Q&As, inviting your toughest life questions, and unveiling a new resource hub with the “What’s Blocking Your Freedom” Quiz to help you find and clear the blocks to growth.

LINKS BELOW! 👇🏼

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🌎 The Risky Path Website

📖 Share Your Story with Us

❓Got a Question? Ask Heather!

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📋 What's Blocking Your Freedom? Take the Quiz!

Transcript

Hello friends, and welcome back to The Free Advantage. I'm your host, Heather Davis, and I want to invite you into a new season of Real Stories, Real Recovery, and Real Freedom.

This show has always been about self-discovery, authenticity, and recovering a life of freedom. And this year, we are taking that journey together in a deeper way.

You're gonna hear raw, honest conversations with people walking this path in real time. Stories of growth, healing, purpose, and becoming whole.

You'll also hear from me as I reflect on these themes that rise from the stories, answer your questions, and offer small, meaningful takeaways that you can carry back into your week.

This is not just a podcast you listen to. It's a place you belong, where you are part of the conversation.

I hope you guys are all doing well out there and that those of you who are expecting this huge winter storm are well prepared and are staying warm.

I know here we have been bundling up, preparing the house, and I have been preparing this episode to get it recorded so I don't lose power, internet, and won't be able to get it out.

So I hope you guys are ready. I am excited for this week's show.

We are doing our QA, and I'm going to be answering all of the questions that you have had about this past month's themes and topics.

We have been going over Anna's story and exploring all the stuff that has come up from that.

We've talked about relapse.
 We have talked about why we go back to toxic environments and situations.
 Um, we've discussed self-worth and our willingness.

So this week, I am ready to jump into all of your questions.

So I had quite a few questions that kept coming up, and they were a lot of them kind of revolved around the same kinds of things.

QUESTION 1

Is there something wrong with me if I know what I should do, but I still can't do it?

Is there something wrong with me?

I think that we all suffer from those thoughts that there's something wrong with us.

The truth is, no, there's nothing wrong with you.

We all get ourselves into a place where we want to be doing things and things that we know we should be doing, that even things that we want to be doing, and we just still don't do them.

I know that I want to work out and go to the gym, and I really want to do this. I know I feel better when I do it. I know that I sleep better, I eat better, and that it's healthier for me, but I don't do it.

It's very difficult for me to get up and go to the gym or to get up, move my body, and work out.

Um, the same as my sleep. I stay up; I'm a night owl. Four o'clock rolls around every morning, and I'm like, here I am, here I am again. And I get super irritated with myself.

So it's not just normal things. We do it with our self-growth, we do it with our environments, and we do it with setting boundaries.

It's a very normal thing. We're human. We don't like the discomfort of change and the discomfort of having to do things out of the norm for ourselves.

So yeah, yeah, there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of us.

I think it's...we feel that way. It can definitely make you feel that way, and we can kind of feel like, uh, why? Why can't I?

But you're not alone. You're not alone.

I am still find myself feeling that same way about a lot of things in my own life.

So no.

QUESTION 2

What if the people I love are the same ones keeping me stuck?

Hmm. That's a big one. That's a big one.

I have lived a lot of life with that same exact thing.

I don't even know the right word for it, but I have, I have lived a lot of life with this exact idea in my head that I feel stuck by the people around me.

And obviously, a lot of the people who are around me are my loved ones. They are the people in my life.

And as I have grown and moved through a lot of the things in my past and in my own walk, my own traumas, what I've really come to learn is that no one can keep you stuck. No one.

We are never in a place. We are never in a place where we do not have the right to make the decisions for ourselves.

And if you are in some kind of place, that means that you are probably not in a safe situation.

Because we have the ability to make all of the decisions for ourselves.

And when we start going, oh, my loved ones are keeping me stuck, or I'm I can't do this because of them, this turns into what I call a blaming situation, where we start blaming the outside forces for the stuff that's going on inside of us.

The thing is, we need to look, we need to start looking inward instead of outward for why we are in the situation we're in.

You know, I was talking with my husband before the show, and I was actually discussing this question, and I was very feeling very passionate about it.

And there's so many things that we have to get to a place to understanding is like we always have this, it's always this different kind of conversation.

So you have the conversation of like me and them.

When I coach a lot of people when they come to me, there the conversation is always there's always a lot of people in the room with us.

It's me, them, and everybody else in their life.

And the truth is, when you're sitting in a room with me, and we're having those conversations, there are three people.

There's me, you, and you.

It's the you you are having this conversation with and the you that you're constantly fighting, and the you you're ignoring.

And we really need to start having a conversation with ourselves.

QUESTION 3

How do you set boundaries without feeling selfish or guilty?

You don't.

The truth is you don't.

When we start setting boundaries in our life, they're one, they're not always easy for us to do. Mostly, it's why we suffer from boundary issues.

Um, so there is a sense of selfishness and a sense of guilt that falls on us when we do that because we feel like most of us who are not setting boundaries are people pleasers.

We're out there trying to do everything for everybody.

And I've learned that the reasons why we do that are because, well, we have low self-worth.

QUESTION 4

Is it normal to miss people who hurt you, even when you know you're better off without them?

It's very normal. It's very normal.

U,m coming from my past, I have had a lot of people that have entered and exited, and a lot of people that I loved and I had to walk away from.

And that didn't mean that I don't miss them.

Doesn't mean that I don't miss things about them or the things that we used to do together.

It's hard.

QUESTION 5

What if I don't recognize myself when things finally start to get better?

That's an interesting question.

Um, you know, I talked about in Anna's story how when things started to get better for her, her life was doing really well.

And that was the point in which she went back.

If you don't recognize yourself, that's okay.

Go to the mirror, take a look, and introduce yourself to you.

Welcome to the party. 

Welcome to this new life because things are gonna be better from here.

We're gonna be doing a Q&A every month.

The last episode of the month will always be a QA after our conversations and our reflections.

If you want to send in a question, it doesn't even have to be related to anything that we've talked about in the last episodes.

You can go to my website, theriskypath.com, and submit your question.

My new website is up.

I have a new quiz out called What's Blocking Your Freedom Quiz?

Next month, I will be sharing my own story with you for my birthday month.

Please be safe if you are in the path of the winter storm.

And remember, freedom is the advantage you already own.

Until next time.