The Illusion of Being Stuck: What’s Really Happening in Your Growth

Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything right… showing up, doing the work, trying to grow… and yet nothing seems to be changing? In this episode, I unpack what I call the illusion of being stuck and invite you to look a little deeper at what may actually be happening beneath the surface. Because the truth is, not all movement is visible, and some of the most important shifts in your life are happening internally before they ever show up externally. 

Through a personal story and a powerful moment of reflection, I share what it looks like to trust the process when it doesn’t feel like progress. We explore the tension between where you are and where you think you should be, the emotional ups and downs of healing, and the quiet, unseen work that takes place in recovery. This episode is about learning to realign and readjust, to come back to what grounds you, and to stop measuring your growth only by outcomes and timelines.

If you’ve been feeling discouraged, disconnected, or like you’re falling behind, this is your reminder that you’re not stuck. You’re in process. And sometimes the most important thing you can do is stop focusing so far ahead and start paying attention to your next step. Because that’s where the real transformation is happening, and that’s where your freedom is being built.

═════════════════════════════════════════════════════

🌎 The Risky Path Website

📖 Share Your Story with Us

❓Got a Question? Ask Heather!

🎙️ Be Our Guest

📋 What's Blocking Your Freedom? Take the Quiz!

Transcript

New Season And Big Theme

Heather 0:02

Hello friends and welcome back to The Free Advantage. I'm your host, Heather Davis, and I want to invite you into a new season of Real Stories, Real Recovery, and Real Freedom. This show has always been about self-discovery, authenticity, and recovering a life of freedom. And this year, we are taking that journey together in a deeper way. You're gonna hear raw, honest conversations with people walking this path in real time. Stories of growth, healing, purpose, and becoming whole. You'll also hear from me as I reflect on these themes that rise from the stories, answer your questions, and offer small, meaningful takeaways that you can carry back into your week. This is not just a podcast you listen to, it's a place you belong where you are part of the conversation. Welcome back, friends.

When Effort Still Feels Stuck

Heather 0:57

Have I got a question for you? Have you ever felt like you're doing all the work, you're putting in the time, you're making all this effort, and you're just not where you think you should be by now? Or maybe you think nothing's changing. Or maybe you just still feel kind of stuck. A few weeks ago when I was having my conversation with Lily, I saw something in her that happens to all of us, right? If you haven't heard Lily's story, please, I encourage you to go back. It's episode 73. Um, we've been doing a deep dive into a lot of the themes and topics that have come up from that conversation. And this is one

Invisible Progress And Inner Healing

Heather 1:40

of them, right? It's that what I call the illusion of being stuck, right? Because the truth is, is that feeling stuck sometimes is often our perception and not actual our actual reality, right? So if you maybe you feel stuck, maybe you feel like nothing is changing. But I want to I I want you to think about this, okay? Not all change, not all movement is something that you're doing, right? Like we feel like to see change or to see movement, we have to be doing something, achieving something. But I want you to think about it. When you get hurt, like what if you cut yourself, right? And you you put medicine on it, you put a band-aid on it, and then we leave it there to heal, right? But not all of the healing that's taking place is something that we can visibly see. Right? Sometimes we we change the band-aid, we're change the dressing, and you see, oh, it's getting better, but we're not seeing all the little intrical pieces on the inside that is actually taking place. And this is the same with our growth and our recovery and our healing in other aspects, in other facets, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. You know? So think about it, like you're still thinking about stuff, you're still processing things, you're internally rearranging and you're realigning to the truth of who you are, right? Stuck doesn't mean that something isn't happening or that nothing is happening, it usually means things are happening internally that you can't see yet. And sometimes we perceive this as being stuck. Um, you know, I I want us to also remember that recovery is a journey, right? Like Lily talked about how she struggled because she wanted things to move faster. She kept looking at the end goal and forgetting about the process, right? And recovery and healing and and and growth, it's not a one and done thing, it's not a one-stop shop, like it's not at all. It is, you know, it is something that we have to constantly be moving in, and whether that is externally or whether that is eternally, internally. And, you know, last week I I had this this whole thing happen to me when I'd loved, I'm gonna share it.

Recovery Is Process Not Finish Line

Heather 4:03

And I was sitting outside doing yoga. It's something I've been not just yoga, but there's things that I've been working on all through March, and that was coming back to like my daily rhythms, just realigning and readjusting. You know, I had prayed and asked God to give me some words to really focus on. And that's what He gave me realign and readjust. And when I was focused on that at the beginning, I was like, well, what does that really mean? What does those words mean to me? And realignment, I knew immediately. I knew that I needed to realign back to the things that I've kind of gotten away from. This past year, it's been crazy busy here in our household. You know, I've been here with other people going through their own recovery journeys. And it's so it's pulled me in a lot of different directions, being there for other people, but then being there for Shauna, being there for myself, growing and doing the things that I'm I'm doing now, even in my business. So I sometimes the things that ground

Realign And Readjust Daily Rhythms

Heather 4:58

me, that center me, that keep me connected to my spirituality, I kind of got away from or I kind of get away from. And so I was like, okay, realigning back to that. So making sure I get up and I'm doing my morning pages, make sure that I'm writing. Um, I talked last week about how writing, or not last week, but a couple episodes back, how writing is so important. So we're not carrying things every day with ourselves. And that's what I do in the morning. And then getting back to moving my body, and whether that's working out, whether that's walking, whether that's yoga, I don't really know a lot about yoga, but I do this little yoga routine I found on YouTube, and I've been doing it forever. And I like it because it it grounds me a lot and it gets me still enough in my mind and kind of prepares me for my day. And I started doing that, and I had been doing it for several days. And this particular morning, I was out there, and after I had just finished, I was like, you know, I'm gonna put my feet in the grass, you know, put your feet in the grass, ground yourself, you know, recharge your body. I was like, I'm gonna do it for just a few minutes before I go inside. And as I was sitting there, I really felt like, wow, you need to, you need to be doing this for like 10 more minutes. I kind of felt like 10 more minutes I need to be there, right? And I really felt like God was kind of nudging me. It's like, okay, you need to be sitting here for like 10 more minutes. And so I was like, okay, so I was hanging out, and then time's quick and by and I'm just sitting there, right? And so I prayed. And when I was done, I was looking over at the clock and thought, wow, 10 minutes still hasn't gone by. And then I I actually prayed a little bit more about some other things that had been on my heart. And when I was done, I kind of looked at the clock and I'm like, wow, this is like the longest 10 minutes ever. And so I was sitting there and I was looking around at the beautiful landscape that I am so blessed to be able to partake in here.

The Tree Walk And Trust

Heather 6:55

And I looked up and there's a tree, and it was at like the way the yard is, there's like a little driveway to the side, and it's kind of far because we live on a lot of land, and at the end of the driveway is a tree, and I was looking at it, and I really felt like God was like, hey, should walk over to that tree. Go to the tree. And I was kind of like, mmm, go to the tree. Now in Texas, it is sticker season, and if nobody knows what that is, the grass is just full of these little bitty stickers, these little grass patches. They're like these little weed-looking patches, and they're stickers, and when you step on them, they come off and they're tiny, but they hurt like hell. And I'm sitting there and I don't have my shoes on, and I'd already felt like, hey, you told me to kind of hang out here for 10 minutes with my feet in the yard, and then you want me to go walk to the tree. And I'm thinking, oh well, that's far. And there were a lot of stickers, and I kind of like look back at my shoes and was like, ooh. And I just kind of heard, and like in, you know, it's kind of like a knowing, you know. I had a friend of mine who was just talking to me today about, you know, when you say you hear from God, like, what does that mean? Like, how does that happen? And for me, it's kind of like a knowing, an instinctual thing. Um, I can kind of like just feel movement in my body and my spirit to do something. And so I really felt like he was like, go to that tree. And then I was like, oh my goodness. And it was kind of like, do you trust me? And I was like, hmm, what do you mean, do I trust you? And I kind of, if you know the Bible and you know the story about like Peter getting out of the boat and walking on the water, and like, you know, the minute he got out on the water and he started getting scared, he started to sink. And and Jesus was like, hey, look at me. You know, don't look at the storm. And so when he said, Do you trust me? It's kind of I kind of had a moment where I flash back to that story in the Bible and I was like, uh, yeah, I I do, I do trust you. Sorry, my nose is itching. Yeah, I do trust you. So um I'm like, all right, so I get up. Now, mind you, I am taking extremely intentional steps walking through here because I am trying to avoid stickers. And so I'm watching my feet and I'm looking where I'm going and I'm stepping intentionally, methodically. And I remember I kept looking up at the tree. I'm just like, okay, how far am I? You know, I'm almost to the tree. I'm almost to the tree. And um, I really felt like God was saying, stop looking at the tree. Watch your feet. Watch your feet. And so I'm like, okay, watch your feet. And then I, you know, before you know it, I've made it to the tree, um, sticker free. And when I get there, I'm like, oh, wow, I did it. You know, I got to the tree and no stickers had. And I turn around and I look back and I think, wow, that was far. I come a far away. I didn't realize I had moved that quickly, that far away. And so I turn around, I'm like, okay, well, now I need to go back. And, you know, I started moving back very quickly because when I looked, I'm like, oh, I didn't really see that many stickers. Maybe, you know, there wasn't that many. And I started kind of putting myself in that position where, like, oh, I did it, right? Not that, oh, maybe God was leading me in my steps, but like, oh, hey, I did it. And it was kind of like a check. Like I had a check in my mind and a check in my spirit and was like, hey, slow down, watch where you're going, watch your feet. And I was like, oh, okay, watch your feet, watch your feet. And it really felt like, you know, where I felt led to step, that's where I would step. And I remember I was almost back. I had like just a couple of more steps. And I remember looking down, and I went to go step to the right, and there was like a patch of stickers there. And I was like, hmm. And I looked over to my left and it was no patch of stickers there. So I was like, oh, and I remember going to step and I was like, ugh, and I something in my brain was like, hey, don't second guess yourself. And I was like, okay. So I pulled my foot back and I just stepped and I'm like, oh my gosh. But this over here, there's stickers, I can see them. I don't want to step in there. I don't want to get hurt. And it was just like, and I remembered, I remember what I said, what he said to me before I started this thing. He's like, hey, do you trust me? So I stepped and I got back to the thing and I'm sitting down. I sit down, I look over to the clock. It still hasn't been 10 minutes yet. I'm almost there. Got like a couple more minutes left. I remember when I sat down and my brain was just looking around and I heard God say, like, hey, what did you learn?

Watch Your Feet Not The Goal

Heather 11:12

And this conversation that I had with Lily and that I'm having here with you today reminded me of that moment. And what did I learn? I learned that one, when you step out and things look risky, you have to have faith, right? I don't know what lies ahead of me. I know that there are obstacles, I know that there's stickers out there, I know that there could be potential pain and hurt, but I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen. And but I had to be willing to step out. I had to be willing to have the faith to do it, right? But then God was telling me, like, watch your feet, watch your steps. And in doing that, I was listening to him. I was listening for him to guide my step, listening for that intuition, listening to my discernment that this is the right intentional step to take, versus if I had just kept my eyes focused on the tree, I'm focused on the end goal. And had I constantly looked at the tree, I wouldn't have been looking at where I was going. I wouldn't have been paying attention. I wouldn't have been listening to the guidance on where to go next. Right? And this is exactly what Lily was talking about. She goes, I get upset because I'm looking at the end. She goes, but I still have an entire life before I get there. Right. And just like I had the entire trip from my yoga mat to the tree, if I'm so focused on the end, then I miss all of the in between. It is the process. It is what matters. You know, and I another thing I learned from that was that I look at the tree like an achievement, like it's something we do, something we get, something, you know, tangible almost, right? And that's in the with the movement that I'm talking about, or the change or the things that we're looking to see. It's something tangible we can hang on to. But the truth is, is what I learned is that the tree isn't an achievement. It's the goal isn't an achievement, it's a destination. It's a location. We are trying to get from here to there. And we are constantly measuring ourselves against outcomes, timelines, and we rush, we don't pay attention, we're not quiet, we're not listening, we're not listening for guidance, we're not listening to ourselves, we're not listening to our higher power. And we skip the process. We're trying to skip the process. And in so doing, we can often feel like nothing is happening, right? Like nothing is changing with us. And it's just not true. You know, um, you know, Lily said that in her and during her process, right, that she would have these times when you're in when she's in peace, and that she would have times when you're in chaos looking for

Peace Chaos And The Waiting Season

Heather 14:06

peace. And I thought this was interesting because this is very much the way that a healing and recovery journey works, right? There are times where you're you're feeling at peace, you're feeling like, yes, I'm in the right space, yes, I'm doing the right things for myself, and I'm feeling good. And then there's other times where you feel completely in utter chaos. Everything feels overwhelming. How did you get here? Why am I here? Nothing's changing, or you feel like I flipped my whole life upside down. And that's how it works, right? You're our our bodies, our brains, our spirits, everything is is realigning when we're healing, right? So we have the emotional up and downs. We can feel confused sometimes, we can feel extra sensitive and vulnerable. And it's hard sometimes because sometimes the seasons we're in, we feel like we're just constantly waiting. Waiting, you know. And this is the part where most people quit because it doesn't feel like progress. It but this is literally the actually where all of these things are getting worked out in us. It's it's where the struggles, it's where our old patterns, it's where our old behaviors, it's where our old mindset, it's the emotions that we attach, it's the traumas. This is the time that the process of it all is the time where all of these things are being worked out in us. This is where God really starts to shine in our lives because He is made perfect in our weakness. It is in those times where we feel that weakness, we feel where things aren't changing, that God can really show up. He can really show up in

Disillusionment And Identity Shifts

Heather 15:44

our lives. You know, Lily talked about how when she's going through these times that she can feel disillusioned. Right? And and I had asked her, I said, you know, disillusioned, what is that what does that mean to you when you say that? How does when you feel disillusioned, what does that look like? And she goes, it just like I don't know what's real anymore. You know? She doesn't know who she's looking at in the mirror. And the reason why is because she's so different from what she's always known. You know, this is us really working through our identity in real healing time. I remember when I started changing from really that older version of myself into what I was, you know, becoming, which was acquainted with my true self. I wasn't becoming somebody different. I was start starting to finally walk in who I truly was, my real identity. And I remember I would go and I would be getting dressed or doing my hair or my makeup and getting out of the shower and looking at myself in the mirror and going, Who are you? Like I had, I also had those moments. And these are things that we can experience because why? Because we are still connected to our past, but we don't identify with who we were anymore. And we're trying to connect now with our present, but we're still not identifying with who we are now, right? And that can leave us feeling very overwhelmed. It can leave us feeling confused about things, it can leave us feeling confused about ourselves. But that confusion isn't, it's not failure, it's not because something is wrong. It's not because something is wrong. Sometimes it's evidence that things are actually changing. Right? Even if we don't recognize it, even if we don't realize it. Because our growth is not linear. I've said it before and I will say it again. You know, when you feel unsure, when things are uncertain, you know, it that's part of the journey. It's part of the journey. Lily said that addiction stops everything. It stops growth. And if I stop growing, I've stopped living. And you don't need the whole path, you just need the next step. You just need the next step.

The Next Step And Closing

Heather 18:18

And I encourage you all to start getting into a space where you can get quiet enough with yourself. You know, if you are a believer and you have that part of you that is seeking out, you're seeking for something, you're searching for something, to call on God, listen for his guidance, connect with your own intuition, connect with your own discernment, and know that when you're walking, to pay attention to your steps, to be intentional, to listen for that guidance, and to not lose focus of where you're headed, but knowing that in the time that you're at, in the process that you're walking, that's the only way to get from here to there. I want to thank you guys so much for joining me today. If you've been feeling stuck, if you've been questioning where you are, if you've been wondering why it's not happening faster, just keep moving. Keep your eyes and your focus on the next step, and just know that no matter where you've been, no matter where you're headed, that freedom is the advantage you already own. This is the whole purpose. It's the whole purpose of stepping out, it's the whole purpose of recovery, it's the whole purpose of healing. Is freedom. I'll see you guys next week. Until next time.