Puro Podcast
Official podcast with Ricky Novella and Gilbert "Gill" Chris
Puro Podcast
Ep. #034 We Are Back!
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The official podcast with Ricky Novella and Gilbert "Gill" Chris.
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I sent you that clip of the guy that teaches you how to sound Vietnamese. Oh, yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_03What is that?
SPEAKER_00Oh no.
unknownOh no.
SPEAKER_02Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01The Association for Retarded Citizens.
SPEAKER_02Alright, we're gonna have to boot that.
SPEAKER_01Are we live?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit.
SPEAKER_02Uh there's uh there's sound there's sound boards. There's sounds on the board. Yeah, watch press them. There we go. I didn't know we were we're hot. We're on right now, dude. This is a new theme. Welcome back to another episode of Poodle Podcast. Um, it's been a long time. We have a new set. Because every fucking time we start with the new set. Instead of having a new set of pits, we have a new set, new background, new set, new background, new podcast, new co-host, new host. We have uh somebody on the ones and twos now. We got a producer now. Uh there's an applause. There's an applause uh thing on the tune. You can go find it. There we go. Hey, give it up to our producer. Are we are we saying his name? Birto. Bert O. Bert and O. Birto. What's up? Uh welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. We are back uh in in this podcast right now. Yeah. Right, Rick? Yeah. In the beautiful city of Paramount. What is uh how did we used to start the podcast? We we just well we would start with the song. Oh, what's up? We would sing a song. What's up, ladies and gentlemen? And then I don't know. I think we have to start differently now. Um, I think this is fine. Just get right into it, right? Yeah, this is fine. Let me sit up because I'm just fucking slouching and stuff, you know what I'm saying? Um, yeah, man, we're back. Um, we who knows for how long? We'll see. I got the dogs out. Yeah, Gil has got the dogs out, and that's crazy. Well, you know what?
SPEAKER_05For for for many years, people have been asking who let the dogs out?
SPEAKER_02Gil let them out.
SPEAKER_05And it's been me the whole time.
SPEAKER_02Wow. How old were you when that song came out? Uh I must have been 11. No, I don't know. What year did it come out? Pull it up. Um pull it up. I think it was 2001 because I remember it was like around uh 9-11. I think because I was like in elementary school. That was the theme song that uh one of the terrorists was listening to in the airplane.
SPEAKER_07Who left the 2006 2000?
SPEAKER_022000? Oh, one year before 9-11. Maybe that was the reason why it happened. They didn't understand who led the dog outside. Like boom, boom, boom. The way they didn't what? They didn't understand, yeah. Because like in their language, like plane and dogs, like it was similar. Yeah. So they they when they translated it, they're like, who let the airplane down? Who? Who? And then who means me. I let the airplane down. Yeah, okay. And they took it literal because they're like that. They're knuckleheads. They're silly, they're so silly. They're just silly wild guys. Silly geese. That at the end of the day they they got their prize. So I was at a picnic, it was like a a few months ago, and uh me and Amber pulled up, and there was like a f there it was like a family of um like Middle Eastern people, and like a lot of them, and they're playing cricket. You ever seen cricket? It's like baseball and golf. It's like the three sticks that are in the back, right, of the home plate. But yeah. I've seen it and they're playing it. Well, I think it well, it was like golf. They were like playing playing golf or something like that. And I was wearing my New York hat. And then my my New York Yankees hat, and then uh I was right there, and then they they hit the ball towards me, and then I fell. And they were like, get the fuck out of here! We're all about the Mets over here, and they're like, Why do they have that accent? And then my twin also fell down. Oh my lanta. Yeah. And then my sister, which was building seven, got hit. That's crazy, dude. It's like a moment of silence.
SPEAKER_05Alright, and we're back. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, we are back with Poodle Laughs comedy show uh taking place August 13th.
SPEAKER_02I've been telling people the wrong date. So date have you been dude? This happens all the time. This happened in the previous shows that we made. Why do you always hit the wrong date? I don't know. I'm horrible with dates. That's why I am not single.
SPEAKER_05But Ricky is newly what are you so what's going on with your love life right now? Because we usually talk about that on the podcast. We haven't been talking about it on the podcast. Dude, it's been like months since we've done the podcast.
SPEAKER_02It's been like a year almost, I think. The last podcast was with uh when we're talking about the Somalian pirates. I think that was the last one. That was the that that ended the podcast. That ended the podcast. That ended it. Yeah. I was tired of hearing about the the stupid pirates. Yeah, dude. And then that was it. We stopped. Yeah. Well, you got a lot of stuff going on. I had a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, we did have a lot. Uh but my love life is um What's going on with that? It's you know, it's it's I'm not taken, I'm not single, I'm what is I'm uh What the he what does that mean? I'm f I'm f uh gender fluid, you know? I'm fluid. My love life is just fluid right now. Yeah? Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I'm proud of you. Thank you. Fluid. Just whatever you do, wash your hands. I do. That's good. Sometimes I don't because I like the smell. Don't you ever just like not wash yourself because you're like, oh, I can still smell her. Or him in your case. Yeah, I do. I'm just like, ooh, baby, I love the way you move. Like the way you move. Um what does your what does your shirt have on it? Are those the two women? Oh damn it. I have it. I wanted to uh put the nick from the song by um no, it's a brand. No, the but the thing right there. Yeah, it's it's a this is a brand. But what what is it? It's Kappa, it's a soccer jersey. Oh. So there's a brand, I think it's Italian. It's called Kappa, and I don't know why they have two girls in it, but it's pretty cool. This is uh one of my teams that I like from uh Manchester. But it has it looks like the like two women on there. Is two women or what is that? Well, we can't assume their gender, first of all, but it looks like two females. Uh Ricky got it because it looks like the it looks like you're fine. Find it, you find it. No, I I know where it is, but it looks like an um upside-down McDonald's symbol. He found it. He found he found it. The shirt was on the floor and he was like, ooh, McDonald's! McDonald's motherfucker. Dude, I haven't had McDonald's in a while. Let's go get some after the podcast. Let's go. Bird, are you down for McDonald's after?
SPEAKER_06I'm down for food. I'm hungry.
SPEAKER_02Is it in the is it in the budget? Dude, McDonald's always in the budget. McDonald's. We have a budget specifically for McDonald's. McDonald's money, motherfucker. Yeah, McDonald's money. You gotta have McDonald's money, dude. For some reason, every single time we do a podcast, we bring McDonald's in the fucking McDonald's hits. Dude, do you remember we had a whole ass conversation in the middle of the street? Hey, and I'm gonna start talking about McDonald's till the day I die. From McDonald's, probably. Like two years later. Two years from now. In two years? In two years. Um I was telling Amber, I was like, you know, Amber, when when because my birthday's this month, or it's next month. Next month, go. Well August 27th. We're we're already in August, basically, because two days left of July. So I was I told her, I was like, you know what? When I die, uh people are gonna. I told her, I was like, Amber, you know, when I die, uh people are gonna get really they're they're gonna be really sad because they're gonna be like pobrecito, we never went to go visit him. And then she was like, she was like, no, because you don't like people, and if they try to go visit you, you don't want them around. Yeah. So but I was like, no, that's wrong. You're wrong, Amber, but she's you're wrong, but she's right though. You're wrong. You are wrong.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna get beat.
SPEAKER_03Whoa! No. No, we don't talk about that.
SPEAKER_02Uh all right. Um, it took me a second because I was like, wait, what are we? Oh, oh, all right. We're gonna you know, we don't we don't condone. We gotta mute his mic. Mute his mic. Mute the mic. It was a good one. It was a good one though. I'll give it to you. You're on there, you're you're you're on the right wrong track, but you're headed in the right direction. Does that make sense? You found it. You're you found it. You're on the right track, but you're in the wrong direction. That makes sense. One direction. It's like you're you're on you're you're you're going there, but you're in the wrong country. It's like you're trying to put it in the puss, but you put it in the butt an accident. No. Yeah.
SPEAKER_08Stuff feels good.
SPEAKER_02Jesus Christ. How old is Berto? How old are you again? 21. Oh shit. I remember when I was fucking 21, dude. Yeah. Hard dick all the time and everything. What the heck? It's not hard now? No, dude. Show me your tits and we'll find out. No. Yeah. How how old are you? I'm 31, dude. No, dude, that's you gotta go check that out. No, it still works, baby. What the heck? You gotta go check that out. What the heck? Sometimes I I'll be fucking, dude. I'll be fucking. Sometimes I'm just like. Is it I don't know. Like I don't even I'm I'm speechless right now, Rick. Find out. You wanna find out? No. Find out on the Patreon. We're gonna have a Patreon now. Oh! And uh you'll see we should. You know why we should? Because literally there's two women on the on our Instagram at Poodle Laughs Comedy. Oh, by the way, Ricky made the profile pick, ladies and gentlemen. Uh Ricky make uh put the applause. Hit the applause right there. Oh shit. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Ricky made alright Alright, calm down, guys. Ricky made the profile pick, ladies and gentlemen. It was it was just you, Han from the Delic fucking uh fire. A it was me as Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction. We've we've had that, you've had that since we started Poodle Last, and I'm barely on it. I wasn't even in the fucking first promo for the fucking open mic. That's true. Tox was like, when are you gonna put the original people up foo? What is he talking about? He was just tired of seeing just you. I don't know how he saw it, but he was tired of just seeing you. I swear there's somebody that's like describing everything to him. I think so. He has a handler. You know they have those things on movies where they describe every scene in the picture, like verbally. Yeah. They're gonna make one for him. For real life. I was gonna say something fucked up, but say it. No, because Gil gets mad when I go off the rail sometimes. About talks? No, just like in general, like people talking during movies and stuff, you know.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_02Like you're saying, if someone can't see, so they have someone next to them describing the movie. Okay. So well, not somebody. I mean like if you're watching the movie, if you're watching the movie, there's an audio track that is describing what's happening in the scene. Oh, so it's not like loud. Like it's not like you can hear it. They have like a headset. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Never mind. I know where you're going with this. I know where you're going with that. There's just some people that like to talk during the movie. Hey!
SPEAKER_01Oh, hell no! Don't go in that door, motherfucker. He gonna kill you. Die, bitch, die. Say what again, motherfucker. I dare you, double dare you. What is it a country I've ever heard of? It's all jokes, people.
SPEAKER_02Say what again. Say it with your motherfucking chest. Which one is that from? I was just doing pulp fiction. I was doing all of them. Uh, I'm into polp fiction. You guys into pulp fiction?
SPEAKER_05Love that band. And you can hear it soon, August 13th, Thursday, here at the Mexican Monk.
SPEAKER_02Ladies and gentlemen. What is it here, Mexican monk? What are you hearing? What are you hearing? I'm gonna bring uh translator to talk about like just oh, you know what I I thought of doing is bringing uh you know those people that do sign for for deaf people? Just bringing one in. And doing sign as the the comedians are doing their jokes, doing their set. That'd be cool. That would be awesome, actually. Um we just need some deaf people.
SPEAKER_05We don't have to. I think it'd just be cool. I'm just trying to do it for my community here.
SPEAKER_02That's what I think about your community. Paramount. So what's what's what's in the agenda for Poodle Laughs now that we're we just start we just had our open mic uh a few weeks ago. It was a pretty good turnout. And we want to thank everybody that came out. We had a crowd, we were killing it. Uh sold out. Tickets were selling really fast.
SPEAKER_06They sold out pretty fast.
SPEAKER_02They sold out pretty fast. Um it was a good time. It was it was a really good time for our first time back. We were pretty nervous. I wasn't nervous. You were definitely nervous because you're like nervous. Where's everybody at? I wasn't nervous, and I'm like, I think they made a wrong turn on Alber Albuquerque. I wasn't I wasn't nervous, and then we went up on stage and we fucking did our thing, dude. New jokes fucking killed. They did new new fucking jokes worked all the time, dude. Yeah, we're like we're actors, we're fucking comedians, we're producers, we're writers. Um I just want to be cool and have a mic. That's all. We're Jack of all trades, dude. That's it. Jackasses of all trades. You know what I'm saying? You're a rapper. I'm a rapper. You wanna hear one of my new songs? No, let's not do that to the to the people. Come on. Let's not do that.
unknownHold on.
SPEAKER_02I I I'm pretty uh I I don't know whether to put this out or not. Don't someone's gonna take it.
unknownI know.
SPEAKER_02Honestly, you know, I'm thinking about that. That because I I produced the beats, I did everything, and I I'm just scared that somebody might just take my lyrics and and do like a re thing on that. Like what do what is that in in hip hop when people take your like sample? I don't want them to sample my shit. I wouldn't want to sample your shit either, dude. That'd be fucking disgusting. But they taste like McDonald's. Oh shit. That's not it. We're back to the love couch actually. This was one of our first uh couches that we did a podcast on. That's that's how we that was good, dude. Um uh no, me and me and Bruno, we gotta keep the rest of it. Actually, it's this is a music video here.
SPEAKER_05Just ignore the thing in my underpants.
SPEAKER_02Uh, I got a lot of free time on my hands, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Uh you know what? So uh that's why I was like, you know what? We need to start doing the some comedy. Yeah. So that's what happens. This is what happens to to artists when they don't have anything to do, they just start rapping. Dude, when we make it, right? When we start making money, we're working comics, we're fucking making uh indie movies and stuff, right? And we have a fucking fan amount of money in our bank account. Uh huh. What the fuck do you think we're gonna be doing? Like when we're gonna be doing dumb shit like that. I'm gonna be making music videos. You're gonna you're gonna fucking make a music video, overdose on McDonald's, and then fucking you're gonna have a a life revelation. Is that even the right word that I'm trying to say? Did you say overdose on McDonald's? My fucking doom McDonald's. Man from Paramount overdoses on the McDonald's. I am Gil right here with the man, the myth, and the legend.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you, Gilbert Claris. Uh, it's unclear in how many Big Macs he ate, but it looked like it was a lot of them by the rappers on the floor.
SPEAKER_04I had a lot of them!
SPEAKER_02Um clearly, uh, he has no sense of control when it comes to food.
SPEAKER_03I can't stop eating!
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we can tell.
SPEAKER_01Um, but uh Gilbert, the craziest thing is that he didn't eat the chicken nuggets, he shoved them up his ass. With barbecue sauce.
SPEAKER_02Now I don't know if that's a sticky situation or not, but makes me want to throw up. Back to you, Gil. Talk about uh BB Q situation. Thank you. Alright. Alright, guys. It's music. This is what happens when we don't do a podcast for fucking. Hey, we're just chilling. Um's episode was good. I think it was a good one you had me on as a guest, you know? Yeah. Um they're they're getting there. They're getting there. I feel like I had like a a good peak like right before summer, and then it just like dipped. I have I have had like a dip. Like on views, or just like on views, yeah. I don't know what it was. It's like that, you know. Um it's kind of hard not to look at the views, even though you're not supposed to, but you wanted to. You can't look at the comments. You can't look at the comments. I like looking at the comments more than like looking at the views. I like I like when people kind of talk shit because I'll just like reply back. Oh they say nice things and stuff, right? But um, it's tough. Sometimes when I push it, I'm like looking at the fucking views, and I'm like, please go hard, please go hard, please go hard. And there's like some that like, alright, I'm gonna post this out of a whim, and it fucking does great. And then the one actually do like, alright, I put some time and thought into it, and it fucking doesn't do that good. Well, that's the real reason why I brought the podcast back, is because dude, we were like doing so good on TikTok, and that's why I do the podcast. I do the podcast for views, I do the podcast for uh for comments, and that's it, nothing else. Yeah, we we just and it's fun. We're having a lot of fun when we're doing it. I think we just kidding. I I I have a lot of fun doing it. I think we did have a lot of fun. I think it was just uh it was a lot after a while because we had a lot of things going on. Uh we're gonna have a lot of things going on. Yes, it it that's what it seems like, but I feel like uh we actually know that we have to pace ourselves this time, you know? I feel like before we were trying to like do so much, and now I think we have the I don't know what the word I want to think, wanna say, but like we have to pace ourselves, and I think we know that now. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_05I know what you're saying.
SPEAKER_02So you know what I'm saying? Cause we're we're we're too much, we're seeing each other too much. Cause you got peptobismo, you know what I'm saying? Peptobismo and fucking types. That's a new fucking peptide, baby.
SPEAKER_03You know what peptides are, bro?
SPEAKER_01What are they? I didn't know either. I thought peptide was a new typod challenge, baby. I thought we were eating typod, then taking peptobism.
SPEAKER_03Are we on peptide thing here? No, it's me.
SPEAKER_02I remember my sister would have her 40 and then get her shot with insulin right now. It was a good joke, dude. It just needs some work. No, you gotta just keep keep working it, keep going. Uh you're funny, you're you're a good guy. Um I'm just high, dude.
SPEAKER_03I'm just high. A little bit.
SPEAKER_02What other sounds do we have on the board there? The good old record scratch. There we go. Yeah. There we go. Bird, are you are you like really like committed to being our producer now? He hesitated a little bit.
unknownI'm sorry.
SPEAKER_02He's trying to figure out what a producer is. Uh is like produce.
SPEAKER_06Uh okay, so there's a button on the left on the bottom that like it switches, so there'll be a new set of sounds. Did you find it?
SPEAKER_01The one on the left, come on!
SPEAKER_02Oh, there we go.
SPEAKER_01The one on the left, come on!
SPEAKER_02What is that? Hello? Yeah, I think it changed my voice. It did? Yeah. Press it again? Do it again? No. Yes. No. Hello?
SPEAKER_00Hello?
SPEAKER_02No. Do it again. Press No, you have to hold it. Motherfucker? No.
SPEAKER_01What the fuck is happening here?
SPEAKER_02Oh, there we go.
SPEAKER_01It's a fucking chicken.
SPEAKER_02I think it's his mic. Oh, it is? Hold it and you're not holding the other mic. Is that one? Yeah. Hello? Hello? Huh. Whose mic is it then? Maybe there's demons in this fucking room, dude. I don't know, but do you hear that? Yes.
SPEAKER_06What the hell happened, man? What the hell happened, man? I must have been the medicine.
SPEAKER_02Oh, dude. That was a good scene, dude. Dude, so I was uh I was I woke up because I took a nap and then I came down to the studio. Yeah. And I was I was just saying that like over and over, even to Berto. And I was laying down and I was like, what the hap?
SPEAKER_06I was like, what the hell happened, man? Must have been the medicine. What the hell happened, man? Must have been the medicine.
SPEAKER_05Who ain't my sandwich, man?
SPEAKER_02Dude, that was good, dude. That was good. Oh, I should record that.
SPEAKER_03What happened to my sandwich, man?
SPEAKER_02Fucking Cheach Marine sounding ass fool, huh? He does, dude. Everybody just Mexican.
SPEAKER_03What the cow happened, man?
SPEAKER_02What's happening? Dude, I I like. Okay, so when we we put. So we mic'd him up. Yeah. The mic was like fucking. We like taped it on his chest. So I don't know if you if you put the volume at a good level and when he's waking up, you can heal you can hear gurgling.
SPEAKER_05Really? You can hear him gurgling when he's getting up. So it was like this. What the hell popping, man?
SPEAKER_02Must have been the medicine. He's just making dad noises. He makes a lot of dad noises. My dad makes a lot of dad noises. Did you see that clip that I sent you of your uh so it it's somebody uh somebody's like you're playing video games and up until 4 a.m. and then you hear your dad get up for work, and then it's just like it's just like a whole bunch of dad noises. I listened to that must have been like like a million times. Like you're like, I miss my dad.
SPEAKER_03I miss him. I miss my daddy, my puppy, my daddy, I miss you, man. I miss you, puppy. Hey, who took my dad, man? My dad liked those poppies, man. I miss you! Where are you bad?
SPEAKER_02He turns to my face and just like, alright. There you go. Um That's a good one. Hey, when are you gonna put some of those clips up on Instagram? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hold on. What do you we have a lot to do? Clips for what? For missmen, bro. You gotta put the clip hey, you have hands, you have toes, you have a computer, you can clip stuff too. Okay, it's because you're you look, you my I I'm still trying still from the time that I known you, I'm still trying to understand the fucking eye of like what you have because when I do shoot.
SPEAKER_03Because it's the eye of the tag.
SPEAKER_02No, it's the fucking autism that you have.
SPEAKER_01It's the autism that you have because you like it to look a certain way.
SPEAKER_02Look, first of all first of all, first of all, this is how the podcast is gonna end again. We're fighting all over again. Bring me my bucket of fried chicken. I'm gonna eat that right here in the front of the pot. No, so dude, look, this is this is what I've I've decided. If we're gonna have all this projects going on, I'm gonna try my hardest to make it how I want it, but if it's not exactly if it doesn't exactly come out that way, I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm not gonna kill Thank you. Oh my god. I'm so glad you finally said that. If things aren't pleated a certain way, then they're not pleated a certain way. If the lighting is not exactly how I want it, but it's close, then fine. Like, like today, I would be like I'm I'm just at a certain point. I was just like, okay, at a certain point, you just have to press record and just do it. You know what? Okay, and I think I think that's where we balance out each other because I'm like, dude, let's just fucking do it. Who cares, you know? Yeah, but hold on, and then but also too, it's like, okay, it looks okay. Like to me, this this looks okay. Yeah, but my okay is like somebody's like, oh my god, this is this is my okay, or my what I think is good is not not so good sometimes, you know what I'm saying? No, but that's the thing, it's like people are putting out stuff that can are are okay, and like nobody cares. Like nobody cares. Well, I I heard that like as long as the audio is better and the like the video is okay, like it's gonna do well. But I think I think what here, I'm not trying to take credit or anything, but I am trying to take some credit. I think what helped was that video that I sent you about that one director that was like, dude, you just gotta put things out there because sometimes you're you're thinking things that is garbage, you know. I know which one. The one that I liked and didn't watch. No, you did because you told me you were like, you know what, Rick? I'm glad you sent me that because now I'm not gonna be too hard on myself.
SPEAKER_05I was drunk when I said probably.
SPEAKER_02You probably just woke up from a nap after a fucking McDonald's food coma. I was like, man.
SPEAKER_03Amber, why you eat my fucking sandwich, man? Why you ain't my Big Mac man?
SPEAKER_02Shout out your dad. We should bring him on the podcast. Yeah. Ricardo, what was it like shooting this scene that went absolutely viral on the internet?
SPEAKER_01Well, let me tell you. What's the internet? Let me tell you, um, I was just happy to be there. Uh what's the internet, man? My friend, my son, and his fat friend asked me to be in his movie. And I said, Ah, chinga ching, I never been in a movie before. Now I'm gonna be in the movie.
SPEAKER_02And I just had fun, man. I just had fun with it, and uh, yeah, his friend. His friend, uh the Filipino, El Chino. The uh the the Cambodian girl. He's funny. Yeah, man, he's funny. He he knows how to direct real good, you know what I'm saying? He sounds like that too. No, he speaks better English than that. Fuck, that's what we're making fun of him.
SPEAKER_03BDO! Get him on video.
SPEAKER_02Fucking Rafa, dude.
SPEAKER_03Dude, we gotta have Rafa on the podcast.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Make sure you're gonna do that. You know what, dude? We gotta do more guests. Let's do that.
SPEAKER_05Let's have more guests on the podcast, put the three of us, and we could put him right there, get another camera. It'll be a part of it.
SPEAKER_02Look, if you if you if you really fuck with us and you guys watch and you guys like our podcast, leave some suggestions because I think that's what we need. The suggestion from the audience. Because I like when we had like different guests on when like you were gone and then we would have somebody and then I was gone, and then you would have somebody. Because I think that's cool. Because I just think that like gives it a different uh it was cool, but I also wanna have like like us too. You know what I mean? Yeah, like me and you and and somebody. It's me and you now think. I was gonna get something to drink too, but we didn't get anything anything to drink down here. Damn. Birto didn't even get anything to drink, dude. Birto's hungry, bro. That's messed up. Birto is hungry. If you want to feed Birto, please send in money. Cause this guy is a 21-year-old with a big appetite. Let me holler chill, let me holler chill, me, how childlum, hollow hold. Let me holla, let me holla, let me holla. Holly, holla, holla, holla.
SPEAKER_06I got a dollar.
SPEAKER_02Da la da la dollar bills, y'all. I got two bucks actually. Two dollar bills. Do you keep cash with you? Hardly, but I'm trying to. It looks like 20 bucks, 40 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Just cause cash, you don't really do cash anymore. It's cashless. Everything is cashless. That's part of the big plan. That's what the whole thing is about. They took the penny away, and now they're gonna try to take the nickel, and after the nickel, they're gonna take the dime, and then they're just gonna take bills after that. And then we're gonna have no money. Are they still making two dollar bills? Look it up. Two dollar bills. Are they making two dollar bills? I think Burl's looking at porn over there because it's taking quite a while. Yeah. He's looking at pet food right now. He's just like he's like, he has uh all the all the orders ready to bag. Like he has the food in the bag, he's just ready to order. He's just waiting for the credit card. They still make it? They still make the see look at they make the the $2 bill, but they got rid of the penny. You already know the reason why.
SPEAKER_06Why?
SPEAKER_02Maybe that's another reason, but because it's brown. Oh it's a different color. It's a different color from everything else. I like that take. I feel like Breto's a little bit more right, but No, I like I like I like I like your take on it. That was good. They're trying to get rid of everything that's brown. Is that is that a uh is that did you hear some hear that? No, I just thought about it. That's good. Good. That was really good. Let's use it. Let's use it on August 13th. Like we could riff off of that. Riff off.
SPEAKER_06Trying to riff off. And then we're gonna ask uh suggestions from the audience.
SPEAKER_02Suggestions from the audience. Go. And then you just hear like five women. Take your shirt off, Rick. Oh, I hope not. Take your shirt up, Rick.
unknownTake it off.
SPEAKER_02Take your shirt off. Sorry, ladies. I guess I'll take it off. And then your dad.
SPEAKER_04Take your shirt off, Allie! This is me eco! It's my eco! Yeah, that's right. I'll take my shirt off too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he probably would. The corn man?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Your dad's the cornman. I wish, dude. Ingatu. Corns are good. Whoa. Speaking of corns, I am wearing trunk clothes today, ladies and gentlemen. That's fucking nasty. Can't do that, huh? I didn't even feel anything. Yeah, because there are fucking cows in the way. All that fucking crack on your feet, dude. You have a lot of fucking fiends right now hoping you fucking get some of that crack on your feet, dude. Wanna smoke it. Uh they're peeling off my skin and they're like Come on, man.
SPEAKER_01Come on, man. Come on, Gil. Give me some of that crack on your feet, Gil. Come on, man. Just give me a flake. I suck your dick, Gil.
SPEAKER_03Give me a little flake, man.
SPEAKER_02Fuck, dude. You probably get high for days on that shit, dude. Hey, come try it. That's a whole fucking like ayahuasca fucking trip right there, dude. It's just psychedelics.
SPEAKER_01It's a psychedelic freakout.
SPEAKER_02All the machine elves, they look like me. Machine elves? Machine elves. What? That's where you when you do uh DMT, you see the machine elves and you go into the machine elf world. What the fuck? Let's do DMT. Whoa. Right here on the podcast.
SPEAKER_06Amber says that she hates that song because people used to sing it to her.
SPEAKER_05And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey.
SPEAKER_02Don't even fucking say it. Whatever, whatever happens in the past, dude, you leave it there. And she punches you in the face. I'm like, no, don't do that. Don't stab me, man.
SPEAKER_05Don't stab me, man. Who ate my sandwich, man?
SPEAKER_02Well, guys, um, this is Poodle Podcast. What time are we at, anyways?
SPEAKER_0639 minutes.
SPEAKER_02This is an awful start. Let's restart. All right. Let's restart the podcast. We're restarting. Don't press any buttons. Don't press any buttons. Alright, alright, alright. Welcome back, guys, to another episode of Poodle Podcast. We are here in the undisclosed studio in an undisclosed location here in the city of Paramount. My name is Ricky Novea, and here is my buddy, my pal, my co-host, Gil Chris. It's Gil Chris up on here.
SPEAKER_01Pontiac, Michigan, 1973.
unknownDamn.
SPEAKER_01And let me tell you something, brother. We got a new producer. And this guy, he's a young guy, man. Oh my god, brother. And his name is Bert Toe.
SPEAKER_03Speaking, dude, he was on the couch.
SPEAKER_02We're we're fixing the cameras before he got here, and he this guy he had his shirt off.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Looking at himself in the camera, it scared me. He's ready to fuck, dude. When you're 21, bro, you're ready to fucking go, bro. That's the ready to go. If you're looking at it, you know what? We're gonna get hard. Dude, that's what I'm saying. I was like, what's the one? Crack on some feet, dude. Let's get you fucking going. He called me, he was like, hey, uh, where the sandals? Where the sandals, bitch. Where are the sandals? I'm like, why you keep asking me to wear chunkers all the time, dude? Dude, 21. Hey, what were you doing at 21? Huh? I was working at the golf course still, but I was fucking, dude. I was fucking anybody at the golf course? Dude, yes. Well, not working there, but I did I did take someone to like the golf course.
SPEAKER_03Oh, oh, I remember you were telling me.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Right where you I fucking nutted quick when I was I nutted quick. It was embarrassing. I was excited. It was hot. Her vagina was so warm, and I fucking busted real quick. Are you serious? Yes. How quick? How quick was it? I I was like, first of all, like let me let me let me just say it's happened to many guys. Some guys would be like, no, it didn't happen. But when you're like really, really want to have sex with somebody and you're so excited, and then you finally get it, and then you're like, oh, it's gonna happen. That's how it was. I had to stick my dick in there, and it was like in there, probably about like a few seconds, and then I was like, Oh fuck, her pussy feels so warm. And I was like, Oh, you said that in my head. Imagine I said it out loud, oh my god, your pussy feels so warm. It's like what she's like, huh? Huh? What you said? You can put it in now. Silly, that's my belly button. Silly, that's my role. Jelly? Yeah, but dude. Yeah, that's cool. Silly, that's my boyfriend's butt. That's crazy. Crack a lacking is crazy. Silly, that's my brother's booty. That's why you have brother on your shirt, because you like brothers. Yes, right. Where my brother's at. Solidarity. Um, alright. Okay. Uh, Rick. First of all, um, have you ever nutted anyone before, Gail? Probably not. Ricky? Nove. Have you ever pumped one and just fucking nutted real quick? Ricky? Nove. Have you ever had the where you you do even like touch it or anything? It just it just happened. Like nutted? Yeah. Like me touching myself or them? No, just like nothing. You're just like sitting in a chair, and it just I remember I had like I didn't I remember I had a wet dream one time. Oh that like I woke up exactly when I came, and it like I was in high school and I was like, what the fuck happened, dude? And I'm like, did I really know? Let me let me reenact this. You're you're like this. What the fuck happened, man?
SPEAKER_01What the fuck is this shit in my shorts, man? What the fuck?
SPEAKER_03You're like this, you're like what the fuck happened? Must have been the medicine.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit, man, that shicken, man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that had where my where my peanut butter jellies and when man. Oh shit, who made me come, man?
SPEAKER_01These are my favorite man. These are my soccer uniform. Shit, man.
SPEAKER_02This is this is why I wanted to bring back the podcast. It was crazy, man. Nocturnal emissions, huh? It was like a midday nap. It was like I had to go home from practice. It was like not even nighttime. It was like it was probably like 6 30 or like 7 right and I took a nap and I just remember like the I remember the dream exactly. And then I remember just waking up and I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, dude, my shorts are so wet.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_02You know, you have wet dreams at that time. But that was a lot of cum, dude. Wait, but you don't have them, you don't get them now? Um, I don't think so. You don't think so? I wake up hard, but I don't like wake up with like wet pants. What about wet shorts? Yeah, wet shorts, yeah. What about wet? Oh. They're good swimmers. I'm back. They're good swimmers. Telling you that right now. Okay, I'm gonna say the first one, you say the second word. Okay, ready? Those wet. They're good swimmers. Yeah. That's why that's that's why we have Burdo. That's why I like Bertle on the We're gonna cut him. No, dude, keep him on. I like him. I like him. He says things with his chest. Oh, well, because he's 21, dude. He's all chest. He's all chest. You're all breast. He's all chest and all chest and like one ankle. Yeah. He has one ankle. Right? Yeah. Yeah, he has one ankle. He's Kurt Angle. Oh. TNA. Perk angle? Dude, he was dope, dude. He was really dope. Have you ever okay? So there's this like thing that pee that people do, right? Where like they s they they say a word, so counter th like counterfive like five, four, three, two, one. We say a word because we're trying to think of the same word. And then they end up eventually saying the same word.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So right now, ready?
SPEAKER_06Oh shoot, what time does Mexican monk close today? Do you know Burdo?
SPEAKER_02Ten.
unknownTen or nine?
SPEAKER_02Ten because it's Thursday. Ready? Five, four, three, two, one. Beer. Monk. Okay, now we're getting close. One, two, three, four, five.
SPEAKER_06Podcast. Oh yeah, ten. Okay, because we gotta go to go do that shoot.
unknownI have some more video that's an eye land tomorrow.
SPEAKER_06Oh, let's bring uh Ben Duang onto the podcast. Let's do our next guest, ladies and gentlemen, is Ben Duang.
SPEAKER_05No, it's probably not. It won't be Ben. But Ben, if you're he'll be on.
SPEAKER_06Look, if Ben can can Ben Ben Ben Denny say Ben Ten If he can be with the fucking with his watch, the watch's name?
SPEAKER_02The Cyrax? No. Unforgot the cartoon. Whatever. The his fucking watch. If he can get Ben Ten's watch. If Ben can get Ben Ten's watch on the podcast, he can be a guest. Um I think it's a Cyrax or Thyrax. I don't fucking know what it is. The thyroid. That's what you have. On your neck.
SPEAKER_06Necks. It's a whole lot of neck. Yeah. It's a lot happening.
unknownThere's a lot happening down there. The neck.
SPEAKER_06A lot happening. Um I don't know.
SPEAKER_02That's all I got. That's all I got. Can we talk about some of the plans that we're having for the for the month of August? Come on, dude. We gotta put it out there. We gotta manifest it.
SPEAKER_06Alright, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Um August 13th. We're having our first official show at the Mexican Monk in the city of Paramount. We have a really cool lineup. We have uh Jessica Alanis. We are gonna have Juan CS, we're gonna have Rafael Bebos, and also Joel Romero? No, Jorge Jorge. Sorry, I was close. And a special guest who we still don't know who it is. Hey, don't don't be worrying about the special guest, alright? And then your lovely co-host and the main host. Bertho. Who's a who's a host? Who's hosting? Who's a ho? Ho, who's a ho. I got hosts in every area code. Gilbert, when the fuck do you have holes in every fucking area code? Don't be fucking talking to bitches. Why not? Cuz Gil. That was old you, Gil.
SPEAKER_06That was a what?
SPEAKER_02Old you.
SPEAKER_06When?
SPEAKER_02When you used to fucking be a slut. Ladies and gentlemen, do you believe it or not, Gil was a slut. Um, between the ages of 18 and 30. Cause I think after earlier than that. Earlier, oh 12. From the ages of five to uh probably 30. Jesus Christ. Alright, guys. Are we c are we are we wrapping it up? I'm wrapping it right now. Alright, well, we have we have our show.
SPEAKER_05People ask, what's your inspiration?
unknownHonestly.
SPEAKER_02And um we have some more Miss Men coming out, dude. Miss Men, uh, check it out on the Mind Buzz Podcast. Uh Vault63 Productions. Vault 63 Productions. Vault 63 Productions. We're doing that. Birto, what do you got going on? What are you what are you gonna promote?
SPEAKER_06Going to Disneyland tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow.
SPEAKER_02That's like when you tell me when Disneyland, that's when Birto's going to Disneyland.
SPEAKER_00I go to Disneyland tomorrow, guys.
SPEAKER_02I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow. When the fuck do we get ice cream? Alright, guys. We're canceled. See you guys.
unknownWhat do you got going on?
SPEAKER_01I ain't got fucking shit, dude.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you got it. So what? We're going to Disneyland. I'm going to Hard Summer this weekend. If you see me with my shirt on and some nipple tassels, mind your fucking business. If you see me in a G string, have me shake some masks and throw some dollar bills at me. Dollar Dala Bill, y'all. You gotta do it, dude. You're going to hard summer? Where are they gonna have it at?
SPEAKER_03Uh the SoFi Whoa, SoFi Stadium.
SPEAKER_05Go ping, ping, pimp pin. You got that button right there.
SPEAKER_02You gotta have it unlock right now if you want to do this podcast. And if you have any suggestions, recommendations, please call 1-800 Poodle Podcast, and we'll take your recommendations and we'll put the music on. And we'll also go off for you some free tickets for where the act like. And if you see Gil at Disneyland, please don't feed him any water after a certain time because then he'll turn into a gremlin. Hey, hey, fools recognize me at Disneyland, dude. They're like, oh my god, you're such a sweet boy. You're like, that's the guy from the podcast, dude. Oh my god, it's the guy from up. It's uh the lady from Monsters Inc. That was crazy. It's um it's a man.
SPEAKER_03It's Mike Wazowski.
SPEAKER_02Alright, guys, we'll see you. Um it's Ritardo from the Ninja Turtles? The Ninja Turtles. That's the like lost lost brother. The one that they tried killing off with because Master Splinter was like, I can only name four of them. I can only I only know four names. We'll call him Ritardo. I don't have a five name. And his fucking his his his weapons are chopsticks?
SPEAKER_03And then he wakes up like this. What the fuck happening, man? Where's my medicine, man? Where the fuck are my chopsticks at, man? Who ain't my pizza man? Kawabangum, dude.
SPEAKER_02Dude, your dad is a uh a ninja turtle. Let's just let's do a video series of just like your dad just doing random shit. Like reading random lines, I think, would be good. Oh, that would be good. Oh fuck. Bleep that out. Oh bleep that out because we don't want anybody to steal our ideas. Dude, that's a really good idea. Not just it's just him right there, and we tell him, okay, can you read these lines? And they're like famous lines from like really good movies. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like, I thought people were it was Tip Pods and Pepto Bismo. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's like 40 is an insulin shot, dude. You know what I'm saying? 40 and shorty. So I I think that's a that would be a really good idea. Yeah. Alright, this let's just talk about it.
SPEAKER_06Oh, I like that one. Keep it going.
SPEAKER_02Alright. Alright, guys. That's it. We'll s we'll I don't know when the next one's out gonna be out, but you'll see us soon. And um, dude, reserve your fucking spot for fucking quick. They're going quick, they're selling out quick. Send your submissions because I'll put you in a position. Honestly, I think in the next two days we'll probably be already more than half. Two days is gonna be the day that you're never going back to you. And right now I feel so hot that I want to McDonald's now. I can't believe in anybody deals the way I do about you now. I wanna Big Mac. No, I wanna uh double cheeseburger with a Big Mac son. Make it happen. Alright, guys, see you guys on the next one.