Puro Podcast
Official podcast with Ricky Novella and Gilbert "Gill" Chris
Puro Podcast
Ep. #035 Puro Sublime!
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The official podcast with Ricky Novella and Gilbert "Gill" Chris.
Don't forget to follow us on Instagram @purolaffscomedy / Puro Laffs to keep up with our hosts, guests, and upcoming events!
The official podcast with Ricky Novella and Gilbert "Gill" Chris.
Don't forget to follow us on Instagram @purolaffscomedy / Puro Laffs to keep up with our hosts, guests, and upcoming events!
You got a Hulk?
SPEAKER_15Are you gonna see all the junk on the table?
unknownHuh?
SPEAKER_15You wanna see all the junk on the table?
SPEAKER_11Oh Kaka, bro, caca.
SPEAKER_10What's caca?
SPEAKER_11Kaka, bro.
SPEAKER_15Her comedy is caca, bro, caca. Let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_24Kacka, bro.
SPEAKER_15Kacka.
SPEAKER_10Well, your camera's right there, so try to like go back a little bit.
SPEAKER_15Right here? If I can say like this whole time, that'd be cool, because I can see I can see both of you guys. Alright. I can see little Bert. Oh little Bert.
SPEAKER_10Alright, Bruno, it's the same concept. The comedy podcast.
SPEAKER_15Make sure you break up we bring up again. Dude, I think he posted one of that girl's um like Did you see who she was? I I think so, because he put her on her story. Like of her doing comedy.
SPEAKER_10Oh shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_15No. I don't understand what's wrong with a word, but we're live, so.
SPEAKER_10We've been live.
SPEAKER_25Have we? Yeah.
SPEAKER_10We're live on YouTube. Are we? Yeah. What's up guys? How many people do we have on right now?
SPEAKER_15We're already we're already uh we're already fucking um then um what's up? He just fucking hit the record button.
SPEAKER_10No, he didn't, it's on. We've been on, right?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, it's been on. See? Why would you record? Why would you start recording, Gil? Usually countdown, usually This is the Poodle podcast where anything can happen.
SPEAKER_10I guess so. Um Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Poodle Podcast. I'm your host, Gil. And right next to me is Riganovea.
SPEAKER_15Yes, it's me, Ricanovea.
SPEAKER_10What's up? Dude, just uh uh so just have it be here. Should we um You're not gonna introduce Birto?
SPEAKER_15You always forget to introduce Birto.
SPEAKER_10Hold on, wait. Do we do we do an intro? I it's been a long time since we haven't done the podcast, so it's been a month. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_15Well, I think we don't have to. People already know who we are. People want to know who Birto is. That's Birto Flicks.
SPEAKER_10Actually, they don't because uh I heard down in down the the Turnpike. The Turnpike okay. I don't know. Um down the street. Birto has his first hater uh from the podcast, uh from a longtime listener of uh the Poodle podcast. Uh we were chatting it up and they asked, uh, who's uh who's your new producer? And I told them, I was like, that's that's Big Birto. And they're like, yeah, I don't like him.
SPEAKER_15He only had like a few words throughout the podcast.
SPEAKER_10I know. What would he say that would make somebody not like him?
SPEAKER_15Do you have a uh rebuttal, Birto?
SPEAKER_25I don't know.
SPEAKER_10Have you ever had a hater before? Yeah, yeah, like how many?
SPEAKER_15I run my mouth. Oh! Oh run my mouth, run me my mouth. Run it, run it, run it. Run, run, run, run it. I I think uh we've all had our little haters, even when we little haters on our TikTok. Remember our fucking TikTok? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta bring that back. That algorithm was fucking crazy. That like we would get a lot of shit talked. And I like engaging in like I don't talk shit, I just like kill him with kindness, you know. I can't I couldn't do it, dude.
SPEAKER_10I was stuck like for 48 hours.
SPEAKER_15Oh yeah, like went on. You were going this was going back and forth for 48 hours.
SPEAKER_10I was telling this guy, I was like, you know what? You're a fucking idiot.
SPEAKER_15You don't know anything, alright?
SPEAKER_10Hey. That's how you do it. Yeah. That's how you do it at my side of town. Let's bring back when people used to talk shit to each other on the internet. Are they still doing that?
SPEAKER_15Gil wants to bring back Asian hate. That's what he's saying. No, I don't. Asian hate. No. All the hate. Negative. Positive. It's positivity, because if you're not bringing all the hate, then you know what?
SPEAKER_10I'm gonna go get my hat. I look like human Chucky.
SPEAKER_15Chucky! With his hair, dude. I don't know what I'm doing. You're going through that phase where like everybody wants to grow their hair out like like long, long. Very long. You're trying to do like like Bradley Cooper, long hair, don't care.
unknownBradley Cooper.
SPEAKER_15Now you look like a lesbian from a softball team, first of all. Back coming up to hit. We have our first lesbian pro baseball player. Stats up. Uh she's pretty bad, actually. She has a lot of strikes.
SPEAKER_10She's pretty bad, bad, bad.
SPEAKER_15Actually, actually, actually. She has a lot, a lot, a lot of strikes and outs. Hasn't had a ball once. Once, once. Giving up for Gilberta. Christina. Christina, Christina, Christina, Christina. And then like your walk-up song is dun.
SPEAKER_10Just every lesbian playlist? No, it would be it would be like pink. I'd come out to pink. Uh uh what's that one? I don't know. Pink. You know what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_15Okay, what would what would be like lesbian theme songs?
SPEAKER_10Like, what's like what is their like their the their go-to? Let me uh let me think. Uh what did I listen to in the early 2000s?
SPEAKER_15Lincoln Park now, because they have a uh female lead singer. Do they really? Yeah, they do.
SPEAKER_10No way. People really hate on her.
SPEAKER_15People really hate on her. I don't think she's that bad, but like pull it out. Who else is gonna hit those uh notes? Uh Lincoln Park. New Lincoln Park new version.
SPEAKER_10New version. Look up the video. Oh, that's what that noise is.
SPEAKER_15Emily Armstrong, there you go. Is that is that who she is? Yeah. Um I don't know where they got her from, right? But I don't I don't know. Owen?
SPEAKER_10I said don't forget about camera three.
SPEAKER_15Gil is already scolding our producers. He's not feeling he's not gonna feed him his McDonald's after the fucking. Fuck. Hey, you said we were You said we weren't gonna bring out McDonald's. That's true. I'm sorry. I just well that's what he always wants to eat too, dude.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_15Hey, how was those hot dogs you're waiting for?
SPEAKER_13Wait, hold on, wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_10I didn't even see hold on, wait. Everybody's going every off the walls. I didn't see the the Yeah, you got it, you got it?
SPEAKER_15Alright, cool. I I like that joke. I'm gonna put a fucking little check mark for me.
SPEAKER_10What I said off the walls? Oh, that turkey? Yeah. How does she sound though?
SPEAKER_15Uh she sounds I think she sounds good. People don't really like her.
SPEAKER_10So is she playing Emily Armstrong?
SPEAKER_21It's each of you.
SPEAKER_10I dig that.
SPEAKER_15She's not bad, just people don't like her. No, I like it.
SPEAKER_10First of all, people don't like her, and I think like people are mad at the fact that like Yeah, they don't like her because they're replacing somebody that's yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_15Like they're even saying like they should have had a different name, you know. But I don't know. I'd like why not just keep it Lincoln Park? Like, why go through all the trouble, you know?
SPEAKER_10Well, the same thing happened with um with uh uh uh uh Sublime. Sublime with Rome. That's not Sublime That's 311. Idiot. Fucking dude. Dummy, dude. Come on, man.
SPEAKER_15I fucking know music, dude. I fucking know music. Name me a song for fucking sublime right now, and I'll sing it, dude.
SPEAKER_10Chunty music, probably.
SPEAKER_15Yes, but fucking name a three.
SPEAKER_10I don't know. Wait, Sublime with Rome? Hold on, let me finish my thought. People got that way with Sublime with Rome. Rome Ramirez. You know what I'm saying? It's like pull up uh Sublime with Rome.
SPEAKER_15How does he look? Then now that they got his actual son, right, to play?
SPEAKER_10Now they did. Yeah. Now they do. But before Rome was playing with them for a while.
SPEAKER_15So were they just like dressed up in gladiator suits and all that?
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Yes, they were, Ricky. Yes, they were. They were being the shit out of Jesus.
SPEAKER_11I got jumping. And then I beat up Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_10They're like two strokes in the morning.
SPEAKER_15Date rip two strokes before two strokes. Then I stroke them two more. How would date rip go? I met this girl, she was pregnant, and no one knew what happened. It was a miracle, and pregnant with Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_11She lied, that little slut!
SPEAKER_10And he gave him 25 years, and then he put him on the cross.
SPEAKER_15We're gonna go to hell. What's going on, everybody?
SPEAKER_10And then three days later, he he has arisen. He woke up from the stone.
SPEAKER_15He made water into wine. Now she's out of the fine. I don't know. Alright, whatever. Oh, good. Alright. All right. Uh, there he is, dude. Rome. Can you can you click on the one where he has the tie-dye in the middle?
SPEAKER_10Bro. Hey.
SPEAKER_15Gil, that would look like you if you fucking were a little bit taller. And that is me, bro. Check it out. Anyone have glasses? No.
SPEAKER_10Some glasses.
SPEAKER_15You guys have the same mustache. Yeah. You guys have the same. We look we both look like we're transitioning.
SPEAKER_10Yeah? And then he gave him 25 years. Okay, uh one late. It was look up Sublime with Rome music. I won't I want you to listen to this.
SPEAKER_15There's one song that he did with the um Dirty Heads that I like. Dirty Heads is another like reggae rock. He he didn't sound bad either.
SPEAKER_10Light on. Uh nah, not that one. Not that one. Um uh uh uh uh uh uh just go to YouTube. Um it's uh Bertle's first time working a computer, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_15He just knows how to flick, that's it, dude. Oh ask him how to flick and he'll do it quick.
SPEAKER_10Oh, by the way, uh this is our new Boodle Laughs Boodle Laughs podcast producer, uh Bertle, ladies and gentlemen, on the ones and twos, ladies and gentlemen. We already got his first hater. Oh, yeah, okay, okay, all right. Um I'm I want to listen to like an uh an older song. He looks how I dress. Yeah. Flannel, hat, shorts.
SPEAKER_15A lot of layers to hide the fat. That's what the is that what it is? I think so.
SPEAKER_10Um yeah, there we go. Sublime with Rome ult. Uh see, look at he knows what's up. No, but that's sublime. You gotta put sublime with Rome. Uh oh, right there. Okay, right. Take take it or leave it right there. There we go. Okay.
SPEAKER_15We're gonna get uh flagged. Or if we're flagged already. Yeah, we're already flagged. The first two minutes I probably said something that I wasn't supposed to say, but it's like I'm not gonna cut that out.
SPEAKER_10Poodle Podcast is gonna be a podcast where I don't cut stuff out anymore.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, it's easier easier for you. It's okay. That's cool. It's all good.
SPEAKER_10So what do you think?
SPEAKER_15It is what it is. I like I like room. I just really wish they made a song about what we're just talking about right now. That was good. Maybe we can make our own.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_15Maybe we can make our own. Um what were we talking about after that? Before Jesus? After Jesus.
SPEAKER_10That was good. Um you're good.
SPEAKER_15You're good, Rick. Turtle's first hater, dude. His first hair? Hater.
SPEAKER_10Oh.
SPEAKER_15Hater.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. It's okay. That's gonna happen when you're on when you're on the internet.
SPEAKER_25At least I don't know who it is.
SPEAKER_10No, you're gonna know after this podcast. Uh, it's fine. You're cool. You're cool, he's cool. It's okay to not look. It's okay not to like somebody. That's it. Yeah, I guess. It's okay and you don't have to like everybody. I think in in what we're doing, you don't have to like everybody. Right? Yeah. That's it. I don't have to like Ricky. I don't have to like I have to like Birto, because he's kinda like family. But I don't have to like Ricky.
SPEAKER_15You don't have to like family sometimes. You don't have to necessarily like them, but you tolerate them.
SPEAKER_10Really?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10You think so?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I guess you're true. Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_15I guess you're true. I guess you're true.
SPEAKER_10Hey, dude, I'm still in sublime with Rome right now, because I can I guess you're true.
SPEAKER_00Take it or leave it. Take it or leave it.
SPEAKER_10That's a dope song. What'd you think?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, it was good.
SPEAKER_10What'd you think, Breto?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Is that right?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10See, now I get why people don't like your main. It was missing an accordion, four.
SPEAKER_11I need a I need a bass. Where's the bass at?
SPEAKER_10Because the the singer wasn't holding up a gold gun. And the drummer didn't have an AK 47 on his side.
SPEAKER_15Yeah. And the fucking bassist wasn't doing a line of coke. I'm fucking.
SPEAKER_10It's because they're wearing in a desert. They need to be in a desert. They need to look like they're being in in. I don't know.
SPEAKER_15Let's talk about our the recap of the first uh Boodle Last again, dude. Oh pam, pam, pam, pam. How do you think it went? It was fun. It was really I had fun. That was it? That's all you're gonna say? Fucking give give the audience more, dude. Huh? That's fun, dude. It was it was a good time. I had a good time.
SPEAKER_10Uh we had a good lineup. Uh the energy was was amazing. And then we had really good, really good energy. All the comics had fun. Except for there was a little uh technical difficulties. I was talking to David after excuse me, after the show, and um he was like, Yeah, everything was cool, but at the beginning there was like a little technical difficulties where your video didn't play, and that was it, but it's oh yeah.
SPEAKER_15I mean that's you're able to hear it, I guess, you know.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, uh I just I wish it would have worked a little bit better, but whatever, you know.
SPEAKER_15I think I think overall it was a really good show. It was a really good way to come back from producing our first show again. Eric Comrick did great uh great feedback after the show. Uh people people that talked to me, they said they liked the way we started off the show. It was different from the usual that we do. Oh yeah? Yeah. So what do you mean? Like us riffing us both going stage. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Pretty good feedback on that. Well, uh we won't be doing that. We won't do that. We're not doing that anymore. Well, we're well for September we're not doing that.
SPEAKER_15Yeah. I think that's fine, dude. It's it's it's it's okay. I think if uh we decide to just have one of us host and the other person does like time or whatever, like it's okay, you know?
SPEAKER_10Uh no, the the energy was awesome. Packed house, packed it out. So many people. I didn't know where people were gonna sit.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, I was kind of like that. I think that's the only thing that that was more like nerve-wracking for me is like, dude, how the fuck are we gonna get all these people in here? Were they gonna sit? Are they gonna have a good view?
SPEAKER_10Birdo couldn't sit. He had to stand the whole time. Were you sitting or standing? Both. He was doing both. What do you think?
SPEAKER_15What did you think as a as an outside perspective? You were not you're not a comic. Honest opinion. Honest opinion. What did you think? I liked it. The man liked it.
SPEAKER_10The man liked it. The man liked it.
SPEAKER_25I don't like that much things.
SPEAKER_10Oh shit.
SPEAKER_15I got what do you like?
SPEAKER_10Top top three things that you like. Bitches. What the hell? Hey, dude, that should be on everybody's list. Hey, all right. Top five at least.
SPEAKER_15Alright, top five, that's one.
SPEAKER_10Well, I said top three, but money? Okay, I like that.
SPEAKER_15Cameras. Okay.
SPEAKER_10Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_15All right. You just have sex with cameras or what? Food. Not recorded. Oh! Sell that on the Patreon. Sell that on the Patreon. We have one more. Come on. You said top five, so Coke. What?
SPEAKER_10Coke.
SPEAKER_15Oh shit.
SPEAKER_10Dang.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, he's he's living the fucking gorilla life, dude.
SPEAKER_10That's it.
SPEAKER_15Yeah. Yeah, man.
SPEAKER_10If that was an a if that was an a uh the and stepping in the mind of a corrido.
SPEAKER_15That he's basically it. That's basically the top five things that they like. Right? Cameras will, I don't know.
SPEAKER_10You probably get used to job for the well they they have really good production. Right, first of all.
SPEAKER_15Some of them.
SPEAKER_10You ever see like a cool corrido video?
SPEAKER_15They're mainly all of them are pretty cool.
SPEAKER_10Pull it up. Let's see. What are you listening to these days? Let's see. Does that say fentanyl? What is that? What did that say?
SPEAKER_25It's not a corrido, but what is it?
SPEAKER_10His videos are cool. Oh Ninety one. Well, this is basically psychability.
SPEAKER_17Right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_10It's ba it's basically psychability. Look, make his voice a little bit raspier, throw some reverb on it, and if he was in like some misfits makeup.
SPEAKER_15He had a fucking hey, okay, alright. Yes, I think you're right, because that that that uh the big bass, the slap bass, a lot of them use the f uh that bass like that. Um but what makes it different is that that 12 string guitar. So why is that food why is that food like transitioning and shit like he has a whole different style now. He looks like Michael Jackson. Have you seen like his pictures? Yeah, like what I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_10Well, Michael Jackson's hot right now.
SPEAKER_15It's just different. He used to he had a different look. It's like a way different look. Like, I don't know. He is he is kind of falling in that footstep though.
SPEAKER_10Of Michael Jackson? Yeah. Little Michael?
SPEAKER_25In one of his concerts, he came out like with MJ.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, with the with the Did he really? Yeah, yeah. With the white suit?
SPEAKER_10With the glove?
SPEAKER_15Oh yeah, I saw the glove. No glove, no love, you know?
SPEAKER_10Yeah, have you seen uh let me see? Let me pull him up. I posted this full um Alfonso Jones? Watch. Look him up. Alfonso Jones. You're gonna It's gonna get wild up in here right now. Alfonso Jones. Look at that fucking. What the fuck is that? That's crazy, huh?
SPEAKER_02Is that a Huh?
SPEAKER_10You want me to play it? Yeah, play it. Sounds exactly like Michael Jackson, dude.
unknownWoo!
SPEAKER_02Woo! Woo! Take it out, man. I don't I don't know what's happening.
SPEAKER_10Crazy, huh?
unknownI don't know.
SPEAKER_15Is this AI?
SPEAKER_10No. So the song, this song's called Booty Makes Me Moody.
SPEAKER_15Your booty makes me moody.
SPEAKER_10No, it's it's called Booty Makes Me Moody.
SPEAKER_15Okay, well tell me about him because this fool looks like Michael Jackson with fucking Rick James hair.
SPEAKER_10Dude, so that's how I look. Uh that's what I want my hair to be. I want to look like that. Oh I'm gonna take as much peptides as I can to be that skinny by at least October.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, you're not black. You're not gonna have that kind of hair. Do you want? I got it. You need to be black.
SPEAKER_10I could get a perm.
SPEAKER_15It's like pinky from fucking Friday. But who is this guy?
SPEAKER_10Alfonso Jones, so he was coming up around the same time Michael Jackson was. So this album came out two months before Thriller did. Thriller. Thriller.
SPEAKER_15I don't know, man. That's kind of crazy. Mama could go see Michael Jackson. Did you hear me? Boy, we got Michael Jackson at home.
SPEAKER_10What did the comments say?
SPEAKER_15Let me read it again. Mama, could we go see Michael Jackson? Boy, we got Michael Jackson at home, motherfucker. What did it say? Somebody on Facebook said he sounds like Tommy Davis and on the Living Color doing his Michael Jackson impression. Now I cannot hear it. Okay, that was stupid. Um Michael Jackson said, Alright, this brother stole my swag. So I'm gonna steal his album cover from the pose.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say. So uh go to Wikipedia and look up Alfonso Jones, Michael Jackson. Because the I'm telling you, the album came out two months before it's reloaded. Are you looking at up too? Looking it up Alfonso Jones What does it say? What's his last name?
SPEAKER_25Is this the Mexican for this name?
SPEAKER_10Is this the right one? Pretty sure. You're too Mexican to work a computer?
SPEAKER_25No, to read black last names.
SPEAKER_15What do you say? Sorry, I was trying to forward some things. Whoa! That's crazy, dude. No wonder nobody nobody likes us for now that wasn't that bad. We said worse. We said way worse. Way worse are things. Uh that is crazy though. It's like the gener the fucking generic version of fucking Michael Jackson.
SPEAKER_10What are you doing? What is this? Why are you shopping for Ed Hardy shirts on the Birdle be shopping?
SPEAKER_11Motherfucking gets his clothes on TikTok.
SPEAKER_15Are you reading any of this, Gil?
SPEAKER_13I can't see.
SPEAKER_15Alright, let's grab it. Let's grab it. Yeah, it's fine.
SPEAKER_10Just look up Alfonso Jones. That's it. I'm talking to the audience, not you. Okay, okay. Um that's Alfonso Jones, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_15Uh imagine he had like a song, like instead of thriller, it's like um Okay, one more song, one more song.
SPEAKER_10Suspense. One more song.
SPEAKER_15Instead of beat, it's like what would it be? Beat Eat It. No, that's already Will uh Al Will Smith. Weird Al Yakovich, whatever the hell's his name is.
SPEAKER_10Yankovich.
SPEAKER_15Yankovich. Yankovitch. Look Yankovitch, motherfucker.
SPEAKER_10Uh look up. Um got time for that.
SPEAKER_15Dude, we should just do fucking TikToks right here. Like those, like those shorts and react. React, bitch.
SPEAKER_24Science, bitch. Yeah, Mr. White.
SPEAKER_10One resident describes her horrifying experience when she first realized that complex was gonna be a good thing. Dude, this is how I got ready for the comedy show.
SPEAKER_04Ain't nobody got time for it. Ain't nobody got tapped it. Ain't nobody got tap in it. Ain't nobody got tap and nobody got tap. Ain't nobody got tap for it. What the fuck?
SPEAKER_10This is your deal. What were you saying?
SPEAKER_14What the fuck? Where do they get me at, dude? Uh who recorded me dancing?
SPEAKER_10Rick. Doesn't that look like your deal, Rigo?
SPEAKER_05Well, a little bit.
SPEAKER_24Sean Pottery. Nobody got time for that.
SPEAKER_15Sometimes you don't have time for that, but sometimes you must slap a woman. Sean Cottery. That's crazy. Uh what what year did that fucking um was that there's that still Vine at the time? Or when 14 years ago.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, this was YouTube still.
SPEAKER_15Oh shit, dude. That was like that was like one of the beginning of all like that was in high school, I think, right? Yeah. Yeah, high school.
SPEAKER_10This was around the time when like uh ridiculousness was being Tosh. Tosh Tosh Toshi.
SPEAKER_15Toshi. Yeah, that I dude. That one was funny. The one uh How'd your kids had your cause of raping everybody out here?
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_15That one was good.
SPEAKER_10The uh the turtles kid.
SPEAKER_15Oh, I like turtles. I like Toedos.
SPEAKER_09Oh. Chocolate rain. Chocolate rain. Some say dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain.
SPEAKER_13And then what what does the fox say? Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.
SPEAKER_09Chocolate rain. Some say dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain.
SPEAKER_15Do you miss that kind of um Hell yeah, I do. Like compared to now.
SPEAKER_10It's all now it's all trying to people trying to sell you stuff, follow me. Like back then, dude, nobody gave a shit if they got likes or they got follows. They just did it for the love of the game. You know what I'm saying? They just did it because they just liked making dumb videos.
SPEAKER_15Yeah. Yeah. I mean, still I mean.
SPEAKER_10I felt so like around this time I was trying to figure out what I wanted to put on the internet. Yeah. And uh all this like all the videos that I used to watch were like all these dumb ones, dude. So especially Tosh, dude, Tosh point oh Tosh. I was like, dude, I wanna I wanna make like what kind of videos should I do? What kind of videos should I do?
SPEAKER_15I I did the only like stuff I put on the internet at that time was fucking shuffling videos, and that was it. I didn't really have a concept of putting videos up like that. Uh I wish I did. Because it would have been easier than now. You know? Yeah. I was late to the game, baby. I was late to the game.
SPEAKER_10Well, I always dude, I always say that too. It's like, man, I wish I would have found my thing like 15 years ago. Yeah. Right? Like I I wish I would have found it, but I mean everything happens for a reason.
SPEAKER_15I feel the same way. I wish I would have uh not wasted uh my years trying to go to college and shit, you know what I'm saying? What are you counting over there? You were still probably like elementary, I think. Oh maybe you're I thought you were still a sperm, you know, at that time.
SPEAKER_25I should have bought a house. I spent my time goofing off. How old were you? Like 10, 8. Imagine this one buying a house at 10. Yes, I would like to purchase this land.
SPEAKER_11This land this land.
SPEAKER_10This land is your land. This land is my land. Brito seems like he would just look the same, but without a beard.
SPEAKER_15He's just like in a grown-ass man at like an age of 10.
SPEAKER_10With the headphones on and everything.
SPEAKER_15Still. That's crazy, dude.
SPEAKER_10That's nuts.
SPEAKER_15What else was like uh I forgot what was my favorite like vine at the time. Yeah, I don't remember.
SPEAKER_10Look up uh do uh like oh yeah, vines. Do like I remember me and my cousins, we used to just pull up on on uh pull up on bitches or what? Pull up on on bitches. Pull up to the brewery. And we used to do like best vines. Yeah, do uh best all-time vines or something.
SPEAKER_15So it was vines and then they started doing vlogs. Because remember, I remember like David Dobrik and all that shit was like doing all the fucking uh the vlogs at the time.
SPEAKER_10Remember that that that one I did I did a few vines because I used to l I used to live with uh I used to have two roommates that were worked together.
SPEAKER_24What if my nose was while I'm Squidward?
SPEAKER_01Hi, I'm Renata Bliss, and I'm your freestyle dance teacher.
SPEAKER_16Road work ahead. I sure hope it does. Yeah, I sure hope it does. Hey bro, can I get a sip of that water? It's not water. Vodka, I like your style. It's vinegar. What? It's vinegar. Puzzle.
SPEAKER_01John, I want a divorce.
SPEAKER_12Divorce.
SPEAKER_01It's not funny, John, and you know it's been coming for a long time. Why do you always do that when I'm upset? I'm absolutely serious.
SPEAKER_18Oh my god! I still haven't found my berries. What? I found these.
SPEAKER_14Let's face it, we're stranded. Look! Blueberries! Oh my god!
SPEAKER_10Alright, I didn't like that one. Oh, I like this one. I like this one because they still use the audio.
unknownGoodbye.
SPEAKER_05Oh wow.
SPEAKER_15Oh, it says why is it? Oh wow. That fool was big.
SPEAKER_10Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_15See how racism was bad? Oh that's it was funny.
SPEAKER_00That's why you choose cheap bitch. At least my dad didn't walk out on me.
SPEAKER_11Cause I got a ball dead. Smash.
SPEAKER_12Uh she has a boyfriend. She'll wake up in a bit.
SPEAKER_00It's your turn to do the dishes. What do you think you're talking to? Oh. Have a good day at work, babe. Yo, she wants your number.
SPEAKER_15I forgot who else was like a vineyard fucking. I don't remember. I wish I would remember more. Like.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, I don't I don't remember any of these. Oh, I like that one. That one was cool, the one with Shaq. I think it was just Shaq being weird. Or somebody like AI'd his. Damn, dude.
SPEAKER_22I don't even know which way the quiz noses.
SPEAKER_06Moving on. Hey, what y'all get for number 12? I got 18. I got 9.5. I got Abraham Lincoln. For some reason. I don't know.
SPEAKER_13Go ahead and introduce yourself.
SPEAKER_09My name is Michael with a B, and I've been afraid of insects mindset. Top, top, top. Where? Where's the B?
SPEAKER_20Where's the B?
SPEAKER_10I like I remember that.
SPEAKER_20Is it real?
SPEAKER_02It's it's cleaner! Alright, now we're just now we're just looking at stuff.
SPEAKER_10Now we're just looking at stuff. That was uh Um There's a poodle podcast, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_15Um We didn't even give reactions to some of them. We're not even like we're just laughing, dude. What the fuck, Gil? Say something.
SPEAKER_10I'm watching Breaking Bad again.
SPEAKER_15I like more of like the like the darts of humor ones.
SPEAKER_10Bring it back, dude. We should bring it back. Let's bring back that kind of stuff for the poodle last year. Oh my god, dude.
SPEAKER_02What are you doing?
SPEAKER_04I didn't know you were allowed to keep monkeys at home. I think that's a man. Oh, sorry, mister.
SPEAKER_14That's crazy.
SPEAKER_15Is that a real commercial?
SPEAKER_09I hope not.
SPEAKER_13Oh shit! No way! No way, dude. Wait, what more?
SPEAKER_15How like okay, pause it? And then like just go randomly, like don't like like fast forward it randomly to a random win.
SPEAKER_10How's he gonna do that?
SPEAKER_15There you go. Right there, right there. Stop! Alright, right there. Right there, right there, right there, right there.
SPEAKER_20Ready to go.
SPEAKER_15Hey, yo.
SPEAKER_20This is my dog Gus. I recently trained him how to bite balls. So don't fuck with me. He's very good with intruders. He he rips their nuts at clean up. What are you looking at? No. Don't you do it.
SPEAKER_06I be on some money shit. I go get that ball.
SPEAKER_14What's a little train? Oh, dude.
SPEAKER_18Speaking of the city.
SPEAKER_10I feel like I feel like comedy like this is trying to come back.
SPEAKER_15Well, um, Looney Teams is coming back with another movie. It's uh Acne versus um Acne or Acme. Acme? Acme?
SPEAKER_10You said you said Acne.
SPEAKER_15Whatever how you ever say it, but it's uh what's that? The Roadrunner? No, not the other what's the other one? I'm gonna go watch it on Let me see. They're coming out with the monster. Coyote uh versus uh Acne. Acne.
SPEAKER_10Acme?
SPEAKER_15Acme. Yeah, and I heard that it's supposed to be like really good. They got like 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Really? Yeah. But those like the that kind of cartoon and stuff like that was like funny, like back then. And obviously it has like a lot of racist shit, but don't you remember watching that shit when you were a kid? And you just laughed because it was like Looney Coon Lunicoon.
SPEAKER_13Keep it, keep it, keep it in there.
SPEAKER_15All right. So how about that uh fucking uh the recall on me, eh? Everybody's buying everybody by fucking Argentina's beef. Oh, fuck, dude, that was great.
SPEAKER_10Recall on beef?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10What you mean?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, I mean, I I don't know what if somebody was I don't know who buys beef. Somebody was telling me that like I guess Trump like cut off the people that like overlook our food and shit. So that's why there's a lot of recall on a lot of uh food.
SPEAKER_10I love listening listening to you explain.
SPEAKER_15Like, I'm smart. I can do it. And this will since we're like world events. We're like really low on beef that he's gonna buy beef from Argentina, and everybody's like, Don't buy the beef from Argentina, because I guess they have like some fucking chemical that makes us all he's crazy, dude.
SPEAKER_10He's probably watching old Carl's Jr. commercials and them asking, Where's the beef?
SPEAKER_15First of all, fuck those old fucking Carl Jr. uh commercials. Every single time they made those commercials, they look so good, but when you get their burger there, like it's fucking trash, in my opinion. Hated it. They made it look so good. Look at look, Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton was trying to give that burger a blowdrop.
SPEAKER_00Look at that.
SPEAKER_15It's just like Paris Hilton's about to take a fiber bird like giving the blow dump to her fucking sex tape, dude. Oh man.
SPEAKER_10Paris Hilton's?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10She had one too?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, she's the one that started it all, I think.
SPEAKER_10No.
SPEAKER_15Well, Tommy Lee Jones and P Pamela Anderson is different, right?
SPEAKER_10Kim Kardashian had one too.
SPEAKER_15No, but Kim Kardashian was after Paris Hilton.
SPEAKER_10Was it?
SPEAKER_15Look it up.
SPEAKER_10Bruno, top five sex tapes.
SPEAKER_11He's a mine, mine, mine, mine, and mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
SPEAKER_10Mine.
SPEAKER_15Okay.
SPEAKER_10Tommy had a don't play it. Tommy!
SPEAKER_25I don't think there's videos.
SPEAKER_10Porn Dude?
SPEAKER_15That's a cool website. That's a cool name.
SPEAKER_10I'm actually uh subscribed to Mr. Skin. Yeah, right there. Click on that one. 11 celebrity.
SPEAKER_15Celebrity sex tapes! Sex tapes! This is from 2017, so they're probably missing a few.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, but what other has there been any sex tapes coming out before? Like after Newman? Yes, dude. 2017? Yes. Did you say Randy Newman? No.
SPEAKER_15Jaden Newman. That's uh yeah. They're all like uh YouTubers and fucking Randy Newman's uh sex.
SPEAKER_10Roblo?
SPEAKER_15You love that.
SPEAKER_10That'd be crazy. 1998. How old was Roblo in 1998?
SPEAKER_15I don't know, but Dustin Diamond?
SPEAKER_10Dustin Diamond, you know who Dustin Diamond is, right?
SPEAKER_15Screech.
SPEAKER_10That's crazy.
SPEAKER_15Fred Durst. Paris Hilton's number eight?
SPEAKER_10Wait, Fred Durst, wait, Fred Durst? Go back to Fred Durst. She's all taking her panties down. He's like, keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. Uh, Fred Durst.
SPEAKER_15That was good.
SPEAKER_10Paris Hilton.
SPEAKER_15Oh! Ferris Abraham! Oh, dude, yeah, that was pretty nice, too.
SPEAKER_10You don't even know where she's. Gene Simmons, dude. Dang.
SPEAKER_15I was made for love and you. She's number five. There's no way that shit was a whack. Hulk Hogan? Hulk Hogan's just saying the N-word every single time?
SPEAKER_10The whole time.
SPEAKER_15Is that okay? Brett Michaels?
SPEAKER_10She had two? Yeah. Shawn Michaels, Brett Michaels, Bret Hart.
SPEAKER_15Why was that number one?
SPEAKER_10Pamela Anderson, number one.
SPEAKER_15Well, because that was probably the first one, right? No, whoa, no, the first one?
SPEAKER_10Roblo was 1988. Yeah, but nobody remembers Roblo's.
SPEAKER_15My opinion, I think uh Paris Hilton is like up there. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_10Ray J's is a good pr too.
SPEAKER_15Fuck no, dude. Fucking. No? Kim Kardashian does not know how to fuck, suck, any of that.
SPEAKER_10But Ray J was as big as a bottle, dude.
SPEAKER_15That's what you were focusing on? Is Ray J's penis? Yeah, you weren't. Hell no.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, you were.
SPEAKER_15Alright.
SPEAKER_10You weren't? Mm-mm. What about Tommy Lees? You remember Tommy Lees?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, Tommy Lee because he's white. That's a whole fucking anomaly right there, dude.
SPEAKER_10Tommy Lees?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10That was crazy.
SPEAKER_15He was like honking the horn with it. Dude, you know who has I think we might have talked about this in a previous podcast. It's fucking um what's that fool's name? Ron Jeremy. What about him? Ron Jeremy was packing some fucking. Look him up. He look it up, Virto.
SPEAKER_10Ron Jeremy's?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, dude. Ron? Yeah.
SPEAKER_10You don't know who Ron Jeremy is?
SPEAKER_15No, this way it fucking passes fucking time.
SPEAKER_10We're gonna. This podcast, you're gonna start learning stuff. I can't spell. No, that's fine.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_09You don't need to spell with Ron Jeremy.
SPEAKER_10No, look up Ron Jeremy's. Or maybe you can just look up the like stat. The stat. Oh yeah, yeah. Let's ask uh chat.
SPEAKER_15Uh I don't think it'll um. I don't think it'll tell me. Dick stat. There, you just put dick stat. See what it says. Dick stat? Uh maybe go to wall?
SPEAKER_10No wall's covering it. You can you can just click on it.
SPEAKER_25Between 10 and 16 inches.
SPEAKER_10That's like a huge gap. That like five a five-inch difference is crazy.
SPEAKER_11There's no oh no dog.
SPEAKER_10You gotta remember this is a podcast. You gotta talk. Ricky. Well, that's me right there. Ricky Ricky is speechless, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_15I just said something.
SPEAKER_10You're like, hold on. I can hear you breathing over there.
SPEAKER_09Chocolate rain. Some stay dry and others fill round Jimmy's pain. Chocolate rain. Did we establish how big it was?
SPEAKER_15Uh it he said it. But there's no picture. This is fucking just pre it's not gonna come out right on the shit.
SPEAKER_10That was like back in the 70s, too.
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, but that's like flaccid. See it hard.
SPEAKER_03Look it up.
SPEAKER_15I like having Birto here, dude.
SPEAKER_14Fuck yeah, dude. It's hard.
SPEAKER_10This is crazy.
SPEAKER_15I saw this fool one time in a video. Like he like went like to some girl's pussy one time, and that shit made me laugh so hard, dude.
SPEAKER_10Last video I seen of him, he was eating cake off of a girl's ass uh while he was in the back.
SPEAKER_15These movies are so crazy, like the name of it, the title. Well, porn back then was an art. Now it's not, dude. Now it's everybody's fucking putting up videos on social media. Twitter porn.
SPEAKER_10You know what? Look, this is what I liked about porn back in the 1980s. It was, yeah, like what you said, it was an art, it was an art form. Uh people actually did like independent stuff, but they made it look. They try to make it not sexual.
SPEAKER_1512 inches? God damn.
SPEAKER_10You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_1512, dude.
SPEAKER_1012?
SPEAKER_15He just 12 inches.
SPEAKER_10Did we got a ruler around here? Like, what's 12? It's probably like the size of my forearm, probably. Yeah?
SPEAKER_15Yeah. You can take that, right?
SPEAKER_10I don't know.
SPEAKER_25It's two iPhones.
SPEAKER_15That's two iPhones. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_10What are what are you? Gen Z?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Gen Z. Yeah. See, I like it. I like how Gen Z.
SPEAKER_15Their porn star is fucking um, what's that bald was Johnny Sins. That's that's that's their shit, you know? Johnny Sims. Johnny Sins. We why is it a man? What is it a man? Why did you pull up a doo? Ron Jeremy was in the 80s. Okay. 90s, who would be in the 90s?
SPEAKER_10Um Fabio. He was in a porn star.
SPEAKER_15I'm pretty sure he had to come on in some of them. Oh no, wait, so the rest of Sloan was still in the 80s.
SPEAKER_10Look up 1990s porn stars. I don't remember anybody in the 1990s.
SPEAKER_15It had to be like more like early 2000s, right? But just do do early 2000s.
SPEAKER_10Jenna Jameson is the only one that comes to mind for the early 2000s. And that's because I guess one of the years she won.
SPEAKER_15Go to the second one. That one. There you go.
SPEAKER_10One of the years she won like best BJ.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, I don't remember any of these.
SPEAKER_10Let me see. Everybody talks about like go like this.
SPEAKER_15Alexis Texas, whatever.
SPEAKER_10Oh, there we go. To zoom it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zoom it. Go like that.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
unknownYeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, I don't know. I don't really remember any of these.
SPEAKER_10Gage, Johnson, Jenny Lee, Roxetta, Lani Barbie, Jenna Hayes, Raina Skye, Brooke Banner, Ava Blue, Shauna, Lorenzo. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Dang, look at Lily Ty. Lily Ty just like she just looks like a uh a normal person. So does who's that? Who's right next? Who's on the right of Barb? What is that? Barbamishka? Yeah. Barb Mishka. Katie Morgan. Oh, I remember the Pyro Ray.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, the Indian one, the Cherokee.
SPEAKER_10Pirate Ray. Cherokee? Cherokee.
SPEAKER_15Cherokee was a fucking Jeep or what?
SPEAKER_10Uh yeah, I don't I don't remember. Tana Myers.
SPEAKER_15Remember any of these.
SPEAKER_10The only okay, so ours would probably be uh Mia Khalifa.
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_10Mia Khalifa or uh Violet Myers.
SPEAKER_15No, Violet Myers is more that foo's time. I don't care.
SPEAKER_10She's she's across the country. And she goes through generations.
SPEAKER_15Um I don't know. Okay. Hottest of 2026. You gotta read it. I never jacked off to her. I don't even know who that is.
SPEAKER_10Emma Bug?
SPEAKER_15Autumn Falls? Autumn Falls. I don't know who that is. Yeah, I know her.
SPEAKER_10Emily Willis. Gia Darza.
SPEAKER_15Don't know who that is.
SPEAKER_10Skyla Vox.
SPEAKER_15Skylar Vox is someone I'd probably jack off to.
SPEAKER_10Skylar Vox.
SPEAKER_15Don't know who that is.
SPEAKER_10Gabby Carter. Vena Skye.
SPEAKER_15Don't know who that is.
SPEAKER_10Jaina Wilde. I think I know who that is. That looks like a trans woman.
SPEAKER_15Definitely know who that is, then.
SPEAKER_10Gina Valentina.
SPEAKER_15Uh think so.
SPEAKER_10Okay. Blake Blossom. Arietta Adams. Melody Marks.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know who that is either. Oh no, hold on, Scarlet Bloom. That's probably someone to jack off to.
SPEAKER_10Lila Silva.
SPEAKER_15I don't know who that is either.
SPEAKER_10So give me a yay or nay. Okay. Natalie Queen.
SPEAKER_15Nay.
SPEAKER_10Hannah Hayes.
SPEAKER_15Nay.
SPEAKER_10Alex Gray. The sleeve does it for me, yes. Just one sleeve, though? Yeah, it doesn't have to be. I don't know, the weird like tattoo on the shoulder.
SPEAKER_15They're too, they're they're too young, dude. I need older, do you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_10Carolina Sweets.
SPEAKER_15She's pretty sweet, yeah.
SPEAKER_10Devon Green.
SPEAKER_15There's nothing green about her.
SPEAKER_10That is the worst headshot for a porn star in my life.
SPEAKER_15That looks like the girl from fucking uh Spider-Man, the fucking Toby McGuire one.
SPEAKER_10Alice Anderson? Carmen Rose. Carmen Ray. Oh, whatever. Can't see that far.
SPEAKER_15Don't know who that is.
SPEAKER_10Mackenzie Mace. I'm about to mace her.
SPEAKER_15Oh hell not.
SPEAKER_10Layla Ivy. Natalie Knight. It just looks like her Instagram picture.
SPEAKER_15Well, because that's where they put it on now. They put it on Instagram, they put it on fucking. She was born in 2001. TikTok and 2001?
SPEAKER_10Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_15I'm saying they're all young. They're all mine. Oh my God.
SPEAKER_10Are you serious? 2001?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, that's all I'm saying.
SPEAKER_10Chloe Scott.
SPEAKER_15I really don't know any of those. Like, honestly, I don't. I'm more I'm more into amateur porn and like things that kind of look more realistic. I don't like the whole acting and shit, you know? Oh, I got you.
SPEAKER_10Violet Myers.
SPEAKER_15If I can birto, dude. Virto's good, dude. Virto's good. Alright, let's cleanse this. Let's cleanse this. Let's cleanse this. Let's change topics. So we talked way too much about porn.
SPEAKER_10Now we spend 45 minutes. Well, this podcast is for the men.
SPEAKER_15Gay men, probably.
SPEAKER_10This podcast is for the men and women of the earth.
SPEAKER_15You're putting worship music on Jesus' sake.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, play it. Play it. We need it. Oh shit. It is actually fire. Dude, I love religion because look. Just lower it a little bit. Keep playing it. I'm cleaning myself. I love religion because you can just watch porn for like 45 minutes straight. And then listen to worship music and you feel a little bit better.
SPEAKER_15I'm mad. I just rather I'd rather just watch porn now for the rest of the fucking podcast. Okay, do uh this whole group is fucking each other, dog. That's the thing.
SPEAKER_10Do um do date rape, but about Jesus again.
SPEAKER_15That was good, bro.
SPEAKER_10Um I liked it. What are we on time?
SPEAKER_1559, 12. Damn. Let's do 10 more minutes. 10 more minutes, yeah.
SPEAKER_10We still have to shoot the the promo for 10 minutes, 10 minutes, dude.
SPEAKER_1510 minutes. Come on, we got we we can't end on just worship music? Worship music and the top 26. How many was it? 10? I don't know, but the porn tells you 2026.
SPEAKER_10Well we have to keep going because I'm gonna cut like the first like two minutes out anyways.
unknownKeep it in.
SPEAKER_10I'm not gonna keep it in.
unknownKeep it in.
SPEAKER_15Um what else? What else? Uh what else do we need? I had something else to tell you. I don't remember. What did I what did I text you? Let me see.
SPEAKER_10Oh, but okay, so what's going on with the meat?
SPEAKER_15Uh, can you look it up right now? Like the recall on meat?
SPEAKER_10You're like, I want to talk about that. I have no clue what's going on about the meat.
SPEAKER_15I was like, dude, we need fucking current events to talk about and the meat's cool. Listerine?
SPEAKER_10Uh, recent major meat and poultry recalls include ready to eat pastrami and corned beef from City Foods, Inc. due to potential listeria contamination and raw beef products from Corte Argentino, USA LLC imported without proper reinspection.
SPEAKER_15Do you even eat? I'm pretty sure you eat pastrami, but corned beef? I never had corned beef. You never had corned beef cash? No.
SPEAKER_10My dad used to like that. Probably would have took him at the end. I'm like, dad, don't be eating that. They're gonna recall that in 20 years. Don't eat that. Shut up, Miko, bring me a pie. Those pies are lit. Oh, I know what I want to talk about.
SPEAKER_15What was it? Was it?
SPEAKER_10Are you gonna come to my birthday party? I'll be there. Bitch.
SPEAKER_15I'll be there.
SPEAKER_10Bitch? I'll be there. Amber, we were going through the list. It's it's I'm gonna have my birthday uh at at the at the monk. And Amber was I'm making Ricky feel uncomfortable right now because I'm asking him. Um I'll be there. We're going through all the list of all the people she texted and invited. Yeah. And she was like, oh yeah, everybody said yeah, but then I I go to Ricky and and I told him about it, and he just said, Thank you.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, thank you. Thank you for the invitation. Thank you. Thank you.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_15I'll be there. I'll be there. No, I'm gonna be there. I wanted just to surprise you. I didn't want to give an answer, but uh, I'm gonna be there.
SPEAKER_10No, you don't have to. It's fine. No, it's okay. You don't have to say yes because we're on the podcast.
SPEAKER_15No, no, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.
SPEAKER_10Uh I just, you know, you never been to any my birthdays or anything, but oh there, here it is, here it is. It's out now. It's out.
SPEAKER_15I'm gonna be there.
SPEAKER_10Um it's so funny because uh Berto said he was like, I'll be there. Like he you text you texted her, I'll be there. Yeah. And when she told me that, I laughed because I don't think she got it.
SPEAKER_15It's my cousin, of course it's gonna be there. Anyways. What do you get to have, dude? Huh? What do you get to have? Can we just all beat you up like for like what is it like 40 seconds now?
SPEAKER_1040 seconds? Yeah, you're not. I'm gonna be 35.
SPEAKER_15Damn.
SPEAKER_10For 35 minutes, just beat the shit out of me.
SPEAKER_15I said seconds, but 35 minutes sounds pretty cool, actually. I'm just like you.
SPEAKER_10Um, I just wanna make it real for a couple seconds.
unknownThat's it.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, no, I'll be there. I am gonna be there. Uh I am actually I I'm only gonna be there for like a little bit because I do have a movie. I I was supposed to go at seven and I and then Amber sent me the text, and I was like, you know what, I'll just push it back to 9 45. So I'm gonna be there. I'm leaving like a nine. I gotta go see that movie.
SPEAKER_10That's crazy, dude. That's good. All right. What movie? Hold on. What movie?
SPEAKER_15Coyote versus Acne. Acne? Acne. It's just him fucking fighting zits or what?
SPEAKER_10You're crazy, dude. You're crazy. I like that. All right. I like that for you. That's okay. That's good.
SPEAKER_15I'm gonna be there though, dude. How was um, how was um your weekend?
SPEAKER_10Oh god, I love this podcast. Had a good weekend. Uh it was good. Yeah. Uh Friday, uh, what did I do Friday? Chilled. Uh, watched the original um the original uh what's that scary movie that's coming out right now? Uh uh Insidious, yeah. I watched the we watched the original Insidious on Friday night and um uh what else? Saturday. What did I do Saturday?
SPEAKER_15I don't know.
SPEAKER_10Meeting. Breakfast.
SPEAKER_15Disneyland.
SPEAKER_10Disneyland was Sunday. No, Saturday was Insidious, the new the new one.
SPEAKER_15Oh, okay, so you caught up on those. Okay, gotcha, gotcha.
SPEAKER_10It was cool.
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10It was alright. You watch it?
SPEAKER_15No.
SPEAKER_10You watch it, Bruno?
SPEAKER_25Not yet. I'm going on to the day.
SPEAKER_10Well, let me totally uh spoil it for you right here. Um, it's just everybody dies. It's the same thing, right? Like they go into the further, they come out of the further, and that's it. That's the whole movie.
SPEAKER_15That was out from the further, too, dude.
SPEAKER_10That's it. The Frank. That one hour of silence of occasionally broken up by Michael Jackson is look, I want I want somebody to make a uh like a scary movie hot dog stand, like based on Insidious, and call it the Frankenfurther. That's what I want. Let's make it the Frankenfurther.
SPEAKER_15Let's make it, dude. Let's make it.
SPEAKER_10And then it's a bacon wrapped hot dog and call it the the Elise. And then it has like two hot dogs in it. Dude, that sounds good.
SPEAKER_13I was a hot dog that your mom made your foon. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That was good.
SPEAKER_15They were good, I know. It's crazy. He could have been like, hey guys, you want to go have some hot dogs with my mom's body.
SPEAKER_10You see how excited he got when you asked him about his hot dog?
SPEAKER_13Ask me about my wiener. Ask me about my reina. How many did you eat?
SPEAKER_15I think four. See, that's what's being 21 and being able to eat that late, dude. I can't eat that late anymore. Four? Four? That's a lot. He said bacon wrapped hot dogs.
SPEAKER_10Oh my god, you made your mom make you bacon wrapped hot dogs? Ay, mijo, mi mijo.
SPEAKER_15Ay, what'd she do? Tomando what does it mean? Su amber? Su gil? Su gil. I would have fucking had uh that's a reflex if I would have ate four fucking bacon wrapped hot dogs before going to bed.
SPEAKER_10Novia, the the amber? Novia?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_13Oh, it's hombre. Oh, you pens.
SPEAKER_10Why are you hanging out with her? I I can't do Spanish.
SPEAKER_15We know. Whoa. Whoa.
SPEAKER_10SAP button on this podcast right now.
SPEAKER_15What did it say? Um dude, so my friend got married uh last week.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, how was your weekend, Ricky?
SPEAKER_15Well, my weekend was cool. Uh but I'm talking about the wedding. Oh, okay. He got married during the week? He got married on Friday. That is crazy. It was it was congratulations to the Brinkleys, but the cool thing was, right? The Brinkley's? Yeah. That's his last name? That's his last name. That's cool. Brinkleys. And um, what did he say? They're white, they're white? Yeah, they're white. Um we went to this uh bar after. Ah, dude. Here we go. It's like it's like it was called like trailer park or trailer trash. Dude, that bar was fucking cool, dude. Yeah. Yeah, it's in a basement. There's fucking little RVs in there. They give you a 40 of Bud Light in a bag, and they give you a tall can in a bag.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_15It was fucking cool. Because the first bar we went to was like a like a it was like kind of like a country bar, but they're playing like a lot of like rap and stuff. And like one room they had mechanical and uh glass lamp and pull it up. Um yeah, so the first bar was kind of like what is it called? I don't remember because I didn't really like it. They had like a mechanical bowl where they had the girls and the guys going on and shit.
SPEAKER_10But this was downtown San Diego? Yeah. Oh, okay. At the Gas Lamp District.
SPEAKER_15Um I think it was like I forgot the fucking name of it on the Red Lamp District. But the trailer park one was fucking cool. And me and uh one of my homies, we did a little bit of shroomies with microdigits. Oh, here we go. Here we go. He's just looking at bars and glass lamp.
SPEAKER_11No, but San Diego way.
SPEAKER_15Oh shit. Uh let me see. Let me see.
SPEAKER_10Alted, go down, go down, down, down fake idol, garage quarter, problano. Tipsy, no, the tipsy crow. No, that wasn't that one. Werewolf. There are some weird names for bars here. The tipsy crow. Oh, I heard of that one. Oh, I think I've been to that one actually. But uh Is the is the coyote ugly one still there? Um did you see that one?
SPEAKER_15No, I I went to that one in Nashville. That one was fucking cool.
SPEAKER_10Coyote Ugly?
SPEAKER_15Yeah.
SPEAKER_10They used to have one rich. Trailer Park after dark. That's what it's called. Yeah, that place.
SPEAKER_15This is a free plug. Trailer Park after dark was a fucking that that's my kind of place. I don't like going to clubs. I don't like going to fucking like fancy ass bars. I like going to breweries and fucking little die bars like this, dude. The music was alright, you know, but it was like shit that makes you like I didn't even notice that was fucking their uh streetcarts and those fucking chairs.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's cool.
SPEAKER_15Um the music was it was fun, dude. It was it was a really cool bar.
SPEAKER_10Wait, look at the hot dog?
SPEAKER_15Uh oh, hot dog.
SPEAKER_10Oh how many bites could you take that down, Gil? Dang.
SPEAKER_15I say four. Four you can fucking four to five.
SPEAKER_10Five at the most.
SPEAKER_15Dude, they had a picture of Michael Jackson E.T. in that room, bro.
SPEAKER_10Oh, dude, that's cool, bro.
SPEAKER_15I was trying to take a picture of it, but the glare was fucking horrible.
SPEAKER_10Are those tater tods?
SPEAKER_15Uh, I didn't have any of the food just saying I was we were fucking drinking and do they just sell like cafeteria style looking food?
SPEAKER_10I'm assuming actually it looks pretty good.
SPEAKER_15I'm assuming assuming, yeah, because it's trailer park after.
SPEAKER_10Okay, I like this plug. I like this wreck.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, so if you guys were ever in downtown San Diego, go there, take a couple microdoses of shrooms, and oh, you were shrooming back, dude. It was fucking awesome, bro. I had so much fun. I never I never thought about like micro dosing and going out like that. And literally, I kind of want to do it all the time now. Yeah, yeah. When I go out like that, dude, fuck. It was so much fun. Who's that? Oh shit! Whoa! Getting freaky. That's cool. Yeah, so that's like I think that's like the VAP area, if I'm not fucking thinking. I wish they oh, do they show the oh they don't give you they don't show you the fucking 40s in the in the bag? No, it's probably illegal as fuck.
SPEAKER_10That's why.
SPEAKER_15No, why? Why would that be illegal? I don't know. There it is, there it is, that one. Uh down. Uh one more to the right.
SPEAKER_10Oh, yeah, yeah, I see it.
SPEAKER_15See, yeah. So they give the 12 cans in the bag. That's cool. Yeah, it was fun, dude. There was a really good time. The Brinkleys had fun, all his friends that he invited had fun. It was it was so cool. The lights that they had, I was fucking like, whoa, dude, this is kind of crazy. Farting? No farting alley, dude.
SPEAKER_10Well, Gil can't go there because Gil likes to fart a lot. I like to fart, and alleys are my favorite place to fart. You are true, young man. I will not be invited. So this is trailer park after dark in the gas lamp district of San Diego.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, because the other fucking bar we went to, I I don't remember. Put uh country bar real quick, because I want to see what it was. Like country bar and glass lamp.
SPEAKER_11It's just fucking lamps.
SPEAKER_15Oh, the double deuce, the double deuce. Oh, yeah, yeah, it was not that that one was I can see it being fun if you're like 21 and like your early 20s and shit, but like I was like, dude, the music's fucking loud, the girl's fucking screaming and you can't hear shit.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SPEAKER_15The cool thing was that they were going pretty wild with the when the guys were getting on the mechanical bull, like, dude, she was fucking slapping foods, she was fucking choking them and all that.
SPEAKER_10It's the vibe, dude.
SPEAKER_15I was like, if my friends wanted me to go up there, I'm like, dude, if I go up there, I'm gonna fucking come, dude. I'm not gonna fucking or throw up, maybe shit myself, because we had a lot of Italian food. You know when you eat a lot of Italian food, like you just like one push of the button, you're gonna shit yourself.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's true. Did you get on the mechanical bull?
SPEAKER_15No, you did not just hear what I said?
SPEAKER_10What?
SPEAKER_15If it would have gone on it, I would have fucking threw up or shit myself.
SPEAKER_10Oh, because of the lady?
SPEAKER_15Yeah. You see, like, oh, that's that's a dude.
SPEAKER_10Fuck, I wish he was there. Yeah, you should have. You should have asked for a man. Excuse me, can you get a male to choke me?
SPEAKER_15I don't want a fucking woman touching me.
SPEAKER_10Whoa, Rick. Dang, dude. Oh, that looks like it hurts. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? Yeah. Rick? What about you, Birto? Yeah. You been on one?
SPEAKER_15This motherfucker's been on a real bull. What the fuck? What do you mean? So he's been on a real bull? He's in fucking fighting bulls since he was fucking 10, dude. That's true. You've been stroking him too, dude. Whoa. Jesus Christ. How is this a fucking review, dude?
SPEAKER_10Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_15That's how they were doing it. They were getting some guys with like two girls. They're like fucking stepping on their chests.
SPEAKER_10That's the night that they're gonna be like. That's the night that the bull broke. Were they doing this too?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, in the other room, but I didn't want to.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I would go there.
SPEAKER_15That's like uh ugly coyote.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I would go there. But I would go to the trailer park one.
SPEAKER_15Yeah, trailer park after dark, dude. Uh that's it. That's it. That's all the that's all the promotion I'm doing, honestly. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. I wanna promote uh Quasimoto from the Notre Dame. Why, because you look like him? Yeah. I wanna promote How does he talk? Like Berto talk. Squeak.
SPEAKER_15No, I'm I forgot. I I don't really remember seeing that fucking movie.
SPEAKER_10Look up Quasimoto. Quasi Quasimoto talks. Quasi Q U. I was waiting for him to spell it too, dude. I don't I was like, I gotta put Salie X on that. A-S-I-MOT-Moto.
SPEAKER_15That fourth one.
SPEAKER_10Ricky's Quasi Hoto.
SPEAKER_15Oh! That's a band?
SPEAKER_10What the heck? No, dude, uh Quasi Moto Disney. Uh it's a Disney movie, Gil. Or Hunchback of Notre Dame. There we go. He sings, dude. He's a sick ass singer.
SPEAKER_12The world is cruel. The world is wicked. It's I alone whom you can trust in this world.
SPEAKER_10He talks like a regular dude, dude. What a seat though. Look at him. This is a dark movie.
SPEAKER_12I who keep you, teach you, feed you, dress you. I who look upon you.
SPEAKER_10That's Amber singing to me.
SPEAKER_12How can I protect you both unless you always stay in here? Away. Lock him up! You are deformed. I am deformed. That's fucked up!
SPEAKER_10That's fucked up, huh? Okay, this is making me sad. I had to turn it off last night, dude. We got back from Disneyland and I was like, I want to watch Hunchback of Notre Dame.
SPEAKER_15I thought it was sound like, hey you guys!
SPEAKER_10No, he's beautiful.
SPEAKER_14Why is he like that?
SPEAKER_10That's it. Deform. Look up uh Hunchback of Notre Dame. In real life. Old movie. I think there was like a uh a real person that looked like that, actually.
SPEAKER_15Google it. I think you had to Google it, Bruno.
SPEAKER_10Birdo.
SPEAKER_15Based on what disease was that?
SPEAKER_10Nothing. He was just deformed.
SPEAKER_15Wait, an old movie or something.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, just look up the the the old one. Look at him. I gotta watch that one. I'm gonna watch that one when I go home. The hunchback of no today.
SPEAKER_02Give me the flask.
SPEAKER_10Give me the flash.
SPEAKER_11Get in the flash. Get in the flash. That's uh, yeah.
SPEAKER_15Is there can you just do see like uh maybe like a backstory if that was based on a real person or something?
SPEAKER_10It's a hunchback story, if you will.
SPEAKER_15I got a hunch that this was fake.
SPEAKER_10Um Notre Dame it wasn't. Alright. I love Hunchdame.
SPEAKER_15Uh was the Hunchback in Notre Dame uh based on a real person. Oh, real? Okay, that's right.
SPEAKER_10Ever see a mask?
SPEAKER_15Yeah. No, the hunchback in Notre Dame was not real. No. I was hoping it was real, you know, and then I can actually feel bad, but now I'm just like that.
SPEAKER_10He's not real? Yeah. I'm real, I'm right here.
SPEAKER_13I need to have more of a hunch.
SPEAKER_10I got a hunch.
SPEAKER_24Oh my hunch.
SPEAKER_15Igor?
SPEAKER_24Igor.
SPEAKER_15See if they had chiropractors back then, they wouldn't have been a hunch back. You think there was yeah, they had to have chiropractor back then.
SPEAKER_10Yeah. They're called gypsies. There were gypsies in the movie. I'm telling you, this movie is so dark, it talks about like deformity, gypsies, Jewish people, discrimination, ice. It was wild. Back in 1996, this movie was wild, ladies and gentlemen. Disney Disney dude? Disney Dapney. Disney hurt. Yesterday.
SPEAKER_15Hitler. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Alright, let's get out of here. Alright, guys.
SPEAKER_10Oh wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. We gotta go. Do you have what do you have? Uh what do you have going on? You have anything? Of course you don't.
SPEAKER_15I I I was I I gotta talk to um somebody was at a book me for something and Marco Polo. Oh shit, that's right, huh? Yeah. Marco, and then I think uh September 26th. Somebody else was supposed to have me on for something. But I told him like I was down to do it like a while ago, but I don't know. Hit him up. I'll hit him up.
SPEAKER_10Be like, hey dude, you When's Marco's thing again? I forgot. The 25th. I just was texting him today. Oh, he texted.
SPEAKER_15He's a forget about me, dude. It's okay.
SPEAKER_10No, I asked him. I was like, hey, what uh uh did you hit up Ricky?
SPEAKER_04And he was like, Ooh, that me that's that guy even a comic still?
SPEAKER_15Does he even do comedy? Whatever he does is not even comic.
SPEAKER_10So big ass flash, dog. No, I asked him and he was and he was like No, because he he was looking for comics for something, and then I I DM'd him and I said, Did you ask Ricky? He said, No, he's on the show you're on. And I was like, Oh, when was that? Because did that pass? Because I yeah, I told him and No, it's September. He was like, it's September. No, he was like the 25th, and I was like, of this year? I mean I mean of this month, because that's tomorrow. And I was like, September. He's like, no, it's September. I was like, alright, cool, we're good. We're cool. I'm gonna put that in my fucking uh uh Poodle laughs back in action. 910, baby, 9-10. September 10th. Paramount, California, here at the Mexican Monk. Poodle Laughs, ladies and gentlemen. Poodle laughs is back at the Mexican Monk.
SPEAKER_15And our brand new show happening at Astronaut City. Whoa. It's gonna be a open mic podcast live from New York City. Um now from live from Poodle Live's Astronaut City. Yeah, so we're doing that again.
SPEAKER_10Um uh it's Poodle Live Open Mic Podcast. There you go.
SPEAKER_15Found a gill, found it.
SPEAKER_10Uh, recorded live at Astronaut City in the beautiful city of Arcadia.
SPEAKER_15Yeah. Can we talk about it a little? Like just described? Yeah, so yeah. So it's we've done it before. So we did Delicomic, but now it's a rebrand to Puto Live. Um, it's not the Mexican Kill Tony, no, it's not. Okay, we just want to have fun, but it's gonna be the greatest fucking show of your fucking life, guys. Are you guys ready to for your next comic? And then we pick them like this, and then Gil's gonna be brown ban, and I'm just picking the next comic Mickey Loud for Ben Dwong. And then he's gonna have three minutes of uninterrupted comedy and then two-minute interview. Three minute, two-minute whatever.
SPEAKER_10Uh yeah, we're still trying to figure that out, right? It's gonna be fun. We already got it figured out.
SPEAKER_15Redo.
SPEAKER_10Uh, tickets on sale. Tickets on sale right now. Uh go to the link in the bio and uh purchase your tickets. Ten dollar tickets, dude. If you are a comic, purchase your tickets, you get a chance for it to be on the show, you get a be at a part of the show. Yeah.
SPEAKER_15Come out, have some fun. We're we're gonna make it fun. We're not gonna make fun of people, we're not gonna roast them. Birdle might make fun of some people, but uh September 20th, ladies and gentlemen. We're gonna ask what kind of porn you like. What's your favorite porn star? Yeah, we're gonna ask this guy to pull it up. Pull it up, pull it up, pull it up. Pull it up and pull it out. Well, that's been another episode of Boodle Podcast. Uh Birto, do you want to plug in any of your dates or anybody that can find you so they can hire you?
SPEAKER_25No.
SPEAKER_15Alright. Uh I have my own shit already. Oh, he doesn't need us. That's what he's saying. What do you say? I got my own shit. You got what? I got my own shit, Coxucker. You think I need your fucking help to get my fuck no. With the what? I take pictures of bitches, and then I do high schools at time.
SPEAKER_11I do high schools occasionally, right? High school sports. But I do portraits of bitches, cameras, money, bacon ram hot dogs.
SPEAKER_10Fuck you, plug bitch. He's gonna take birthday pictures of me swaddled.
SPEAKER_15Oh my god. You should do a fucking little shoot of birthdays, like you know when they do like how every every woman does it, you know? With your cake.
SPEAKER_25Like the one I did?
SPEAKER_15Yeah, yeah. Should do it, Gil.
SPEAKER_10I'm in the same dress.
SPEAKER_15That's crazy. Your feet are all fucking black. Don't wash your feet. Hey! You don't wash your feet, you don't wash your ass. That's been poodle lives. Uh Purple lives? That's been poodle lives.
SPEAKER_10Purle lives. Uh Puto Podcast, bitch. Hey, take it away. Um ain't nobody got time for that. It's okay. Find it. Find it, find it, Brutal, find it. Find it, Brutal. Find it. Find it. And that's been another Poodle Laughs podcast.
SPEAKER_04When she first realized the complex was on fire. Well, I woke up to go give me a cold. Oh, I ain't the song, bro. And then I called somebody cooling. I said, Oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire. Then I ran out. I didn't grab no shoes or nothing, Jesus. I ran for my life. And then the smoke got bronchi. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time.
SPEAKER_24I didn't put no shoes and on Jesus. I didn't put no shoes and on Jesus.
SPEAKER_15You made your sound real, real, real fucking real AI right there, dude.
SPEAKER_19It almost feels like you listen to the stream.