Relation-Smith Podcast
Relation-Smith is a podcast where a husband and wife share their relationship through conversation — sometimes naming what’s happening between them, and sometimes simply letting it be experienced.
Hosted by Jamie and Stacey Smith, the show centers emotionally safe dialogue across a wide range of topics, from moments of tension and difference to lighter, everyday conversations. Rather than teaching or advising, Relation-Smith demonstrates what it can look like to stay curious, present, and connected over time.
Relation-Smith Podcast
Money Isn't The Problem. Your Money Story Is.
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We get honest about why money can feel harder to talk about than almost anything else, and how our fights eased once we admitted the fear underneath our habits. We share how our upbringing shaped a lack mentality, overspending, and the need to provide, then walk through the language that helps us stay connected while we figure it out together.
• money as one of the most common sources of relationship conflict
• money insecurity as fear of not having enough
• how saving, hoarding, and spending can come from the same fear
• how our childhood money stories show up in marriage finances
• our approach with separate accounts and clearer boundaries
• using curiosity to break the defensiveness cycle
• “not right now” as a kinder, more useful limit
• why silent money stress becomes a bigger burden
if there is something from the con this conversation that resonates with you give us a follow or a like on Instagram Spotify or Apple Podcast and drop us a comment we're looking for some really cool questions or maybe even some really hard questions to talk about.
Welcome Back And Wedding Recap
SPEAKER_00Welcome back to another episode of RelationsMith. I'm Jamie Smith here with my lovely wife, Stacey.
SPEAKER_02Hi everyone. This podcast is a space where we share our relationship and the conversations we're having, sometimes about hard things, sometimes about lighter ones, always with the goal of staying connected.
SPEAKER_00Staying connected is right. We took a week off. We actually had to go to a wedding in North Carolina.
SPEAKER_02I don't like had to. We we got to.
SPEAKER_00We got to. It was um it was awesome. I loved it. It was so cool. Very sweet. Yeah, it was so sweet. Friend of ours. Man, he just deserves love in his life, and he's waited a long time, and apparently his bride has been waiting a long time, and they found each other.
SPEAKER_02Finally found their person.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they found their person. He it was so neat. They just did some really cool things that I've never seen at a wedding. He walked down to Darth Vader's theme song, which I thought was so funny.
SPEAKER_02It's so so up brand for him.
Why Money Feels So Hard
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and yeah, absolutely. And all his groomsmen were characters, even the the groom's boys, they were characters as well. Just funny, all had great personalities, and and then the bride, her girls that she surprised them with when they walked down. She didn't there was no music, it was her saying how what she appreciated about each one of them. Yep. And thank them for being part of it. It's so cool. Yeah, it was really cool. Yeah, it was all misty-eyed with that. I loved it. And then we danced the night away and had a lot of fun. We do and got to meet some really cool people. And yeah, so we're back. And so we're gonna talk about some of the most glorifying things in the world. Some things that are just so easy that everybody wants to talk about. That is sarcasm 101. If you guys didn't catch that, we are gonna talk about money. Ugh. Money.
SPEAKER_02Well, so I have a friend who works with uh with financial advising. Uh her husband's an event financial advisor and and she helps him in his business. And she made the comment to me that people will rather talk to you about their sex life than about their money. Yeah. About their finances.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's kind of crazy. Yeah. And, you know, and I don't know the exact stats, meant to look those up earlier, but uh the stats are a lot of problems in marriages. Oh, yeah. The the biggest root of the problem is money, finances.
SPEAKER_02Not the root.
SPEAKER_00Well, but no, it's not the root, but it is one of the causes of a lot of troubles, even divorce in marriages.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. One of the most common things, the hardest thing for couples to navigate is the finances, for sure.
SPEAKER_00And it's tough because a lot of people have so I mean, it is a wide span of insecurities when it comes to money. Some people are great with it, some people are bad with it. Some people are in between, and some people hoard them, and some people are loosey-goosey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I wouldn't say just because you're quote unquote good with money doesn't mean you have money insecurities.
SPEAKER_00Usually the people that are have money insecurities are the ones that are really loosey, or I mean the ones that are really good with money. Yeah.
The Insecurity Under The Numbers
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I think, well, this is hopefully not going to come as a surprise to anyone who's been listening to us. We do believe that the reason why money is such an issue in relationships is gonna boil down to that root insecurity.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That that fear. That fear of lack, you know, fear of want. There is underlying fear somewhere along the line, whether it whether it's that person that gets money and spends it as soon as it gets there, that that fear, that that lack mentality of of getting to needing to have this or not having it before and needing it now or wanting it. And then the other side of it is the you know, the fear of lack when it comes to saving and hoarding, in in essence, you know, and hoarding's kind of a bad word, you know, extreme word for but it's saving or putting aside just in case of an emergency, which is is smart, you know. Right. But but there is it if it is what you do in lieu of using it for what it's intended for, which is to kind of just support your life, you know, and your lifestyle.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Well You're the finance girl.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to talk too much about it because I am not financially sound in mind uh when it comes to Well, we have we've learned that we have different kinds of insecurities when it comes to money.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02And for me and and I think the thing that the why it's such a big rub is because we, you know, it's just like anything else. You grew up and you had certain things that you grew up with the ways that your parents were, ways that your parents were about money.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And they pass it on to you. And or you're how you are about money and you know, as a reaction to your parents.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And and so everybody has a different experience with that, and then you bring it two into one household and and you have to figure out how to blend them. So that's obviously I think a setup for you know the issues. But it makes sense to feel like money equals security because we if something b if you have money, something breaks, you just get a new one.
SPEAKER_03Right.
Healing A Lack Mentality
SPEAKER_02Or, you know, if you get hurt, you can just, you know, you don't have to worry about how you're gonna pay that medical bill or or whatever, right? So but I know for me, I can say that I definitely came from a lack mentality. And what that means, I think what what I think that means is you're afraid that there's not gonna be enough. And so it so you talked about people hoarding or or whatnot, saving up tons and tons of money, and that can definitely look be an a behavior that is because they feel like and I know I can relate to this, you never feel like you have enough. So that's something that I've had to realize about myself and work on is you if you have a la lack mentality, you are never gonna feel like you have enough, right? No matter how much you have. You could have tens of thousands of dollars in the bank and still feel like it's not enough.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And so I personally have worked on that a lot over the last few years. Just well, you talk last episode, I think it was you talked a little bit about your faith. And for me, this is where I can say my faith has definitely been a part of that journey in re reminding myself that my security is in in my in my faith and in in God and not in money. And but also just changing my belief system to b that there's it's not a zero-sum game. There's there's enough money for everybody. And and I've been practicing, you you're familiar, I mean, there's and I use that saying a lot. There's enough parking for everyone. There's enough there are enough tables at the restaurant for everyone. There is enough there's enough for everyone. And as I practiced that, it started to heal my lack mentality and my insecurity around money. And it's not, it's better, it's not all the way gone.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02But definitely just speaking about money in regard in relation to in relationships, we've had hard conversations about money. We've we've had fights about money.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I don't think we've had one in a while, right? But early on, because of the insecurities. And I think it honestly was not until we were together, which hasn't been that terribly long at this point. You know, we've been together five years, but where I realized that the reason why I was getting mad about the money situation was because of my insecurity about it.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And just like everything else we've talked about, it took me, you know, the fight happened. I don't even remember at this point what it was about.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And at afterwards, and I don't think that there was even a resolution at that point, I did I did the thing that I've been talking about on all the episodes of took a step back and got curious of about that. Why, why did that upset me so much?
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And then began to come to that realization of I'm afraid. Yeah. I'm afraid that there won't be enough, that I won't have what I need. And now I say I get to say, I've been around long enough, I can look back across my life and see that that I always have had what I needed.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_02You know?
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. I'm still here and and even things you want.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, doing well. And so that's helped me to start to heal that insecurity. And then for you, you know, you have a different insecurity.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I know, and maybe you don't you know, do you want to talk share about that?
Spending Habits From Childhood
SPEAKER_00A little bit, yeah. Well, I mean, I grew up in a household and uh uh where my dad, he he he made the money. My mom was home taking care of us, my sister and I. And he, you know, he has he had, I should say, that that same mentality, that lack mentality, where it was, you know, he grew up not with with with not much. And so he grew up in a system in a in a life where he needed to make sure that we always had enough to cover the the bills and food and you know, everything. And, you know, my mom, you know, she would, you know, w she depended on him. And she, you know, when when she depended on him, she wore, you know, there were things that she wanted or that she felt like she needed and and stuff. And and I remember growing up hearing a lot of conflict between them. Oh yeah. And, you know, and and and you know, not to divulge too much, but I mean there was just so much conflict, and it was just so painful to hear sometimes. And I just for me, I never really learned the concept of how to take care of money or how to save or how to I didn't learn any of that. It was whatever was available, this is it, and that's it. And so then I remember getting my first job, and it was the first time I was able to get something I wanted as a teenager, you know, versus you know, wearing pro wings versus Reeboks, you know, and you know, wearing the the the uh well we didn't have Walmart back then, so it was what was that? Uh uh Kmart, you know, Kmart jeans versus go to the mall and wear those about here it is. Ready? Here it comes. Z Calvaricie shorts. Or that must be a Florida thing. I don't know what that is. I think that's a California I think they're they were they came out of California. They were these shorts that you know you had Velcro on them. They were really uh in that time, they were really cool. But yeah, that that was the and then they had the pants that had the pleats on them with the the cuffs at the bottom where you tight rolled. Yeah, let's go, let's go.
SPEAKER_02Tight roll is coming back, I heard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Jimmy Z. You know Jimmy Z, right? That that brand? Uh-uh. Oh man, look it up. It it is some funky. Well, now it's funky. Uh actually it might be coming back in style these days. I don't know. But those were like, but I couldn't get those things, right? Uh as a high school teenager until I started making my own money. And and then classic, you know, I end up using it for mostly food and and gas and and whatnot. So so when I got money, I w I got things I wanted. And then I left my house, and then it was all about bills, it was about apartment because I was ready to get out of my home. And I, you know, had to figure out how to do that. And the girl I was dating at the time, she actually did that for me. So I just still didn't have to learn. And then when I got married at the age of 23, my wife then took care of it. So, and her and I had struggles a lot in the beginning because I still had that where making money and I want to get what I want kind of thing, and and you know, and it's not like I did without. Go ahead, you look like you were gonna say something.
SPEAKER_01You were still doing it as if you don't still do that now.
SPEAKER_00Hold on, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. Don't don't don't go too far. Anyway, so but but I she managed the money and she did a great job. I mean, we we there were moments when we were struggling, you know, financially because we had two babies, and you know, we I remember the story of of noting not having you know any money for food and going to the store in real life and and being able to scoop up at least a few dollars in change in my truck underneath the you know the seats and stuff and went and bought some bread and milk, you know, and but I remember those times and you know it was tough, but but you know, I learned a lot, and I remember getting frustrated with her. I'm like, you know, we never have enough money, and you you're always saying we don't have money, we don't have money, and how do I know? And she goes, okay, and she handed me the bill, she goes, you take care of it. Like two weeks later, I gave it back to her, and I'm like, Oh, by the way, we're in worse shape we were when you gave it to me. So it was not good. But in if looking back, I learned a lesson, but I didn't learn a good lesson because the thing is is that instead of partnering with her, I ended up just shoving it back, saying, I don't nope. And then so I put all of that pressure on her, which in turn, as we grew, as life went on, we did really well. And we got we did pretty good and just got to be able to do a lot of things that we wanted and needed. And but I wasn't I I just was here, you're only allowed to spend this much. Here, you can have this.
SPEAKER_02You mean you were given an allowance?
Separate Accounts And New Skills
SPEAKER_00I was basically given an allowance, right? So fast forward marriage ended, you know, and um I'm on my own again, like I was back when I, you know, as a teenager, and paying rent, doing all this stuff, and trying to figure that out, and and having no clue of really what to do. But I was trying, and I'm still trying. I mean, five years into our marriage, and I mean, yes, I still have this fear mentality of if I have the money and I see something I want that I've never had, and and again, now I'm racing against my age, because now I'm like, you know, 52 years old, and there are things I want, you know, and I'm like, okay, I make decent money now, and you know, I I don't have I mean I have a lot of bills now, but but that's by my own fault, right? So, but I'm learning, I've learned in the past five years a lot. One of the things we did when we got together is you looked at me and like, you take care of your own bills, yeah. And I'll take care of mine. We'll have two accounts that way, and this was part of your insecurity, yes, and then and you were like, you know, you make your bed, you lie in it, kind of deal. And I can guide you or whatever, I'll be here for you if you need me, but you know, this we could talk about it, but we're not gonna co-mingle. Yeah, no co-mingling, so which has been a big, big like I mean, still it's a lot better because so if you don't know, Stacy is very spreadsheet oriented, like she treats her finances like it if she worked it, like literally if she worked for a company managing their finances. It's I mean, she's got spreadsheet after spreadsheet, everything is laid out. I mean, to the penny. Like to the penny. It's it's pretty amazing. I pick on her a lot about it, but it is pretty amazing what she does. And so what I did is just watching her from afar, and you know, she keeps every receipt, which I haven't gotten there yet, but she keeps every receipt, docks everything, and and checks and and crosses every T and dots every I. I've started to build a spreadsheet. I've created a budget, I've started doing this, and I've laid it all out down to the dollar, if you will. Not not like her, not down to the penny, but maybe down to the dollar around about five dollars or so in and up. But I've started doing that, but I still at moments have that mentality where I'm like, if I can squeeze just this much, I can get this. You know, and and then then I'm tight and she's like, babe, how are we how how are you not able to get that? You make decent money, and I'm like, and then I break it down for her and I show her the spreadsheet. She goes, Yeah, I see it. You've overleveraged yourself. I did, I did, and then she'll look at me and she's so sweet, I love her, and I feel so guilty. She just looks at me and she's like, So you know you got that and you really couldn't afford it, right? And I'm like, Yeah, yeah. But then part of me is like, she, and then she gets on to me. She's like, you know, when you get to this point, you need to come to me and we can work this out, you know? And and I'm like, yes, and here's another part of my insecurity is I don't want to be a burden on you. I I want to be I want to be a pro a provider of the family, but I want to be a provider in in the means where I'm not I'm not weighing down on you, you know, because we're partner, we're partner providers in this household. Stacy makes the she's the breadwinner, she brings home the bacon, and and if I could, I'd quit and I'd be I'd wear my little maid outfit and I'd run around this house. See my sugar mama. No, I'm just kidding. But but really she does that, and and I make good money, but there's no like animosity either about it. You know, we bring our own strengths to the table. When we take care of our own, you know, you know, she takes care of a certain amount of the bills, I take care of a certain amount of the bills of the household, and it's it's worked out.
Talking Without The Defense Cycle
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, I would say that in the early days of our relationship. relationship, those conversations didn't go that well.
SPEAKER_00No, they didn't.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00They definitely But I think since you've and I have been working doing the self-work on these insecurities, now it's more of Yeah. I mean because our last and it wasn't even a conflict, our last conversation about some things it it that's how it went.
SPEAKER_02Yes, exactly. Well very like But it's because I was because I knew in the past I would have definitely just came at you just like why did you do this? You know but then I would have got defensive.
SPEAKER_00Yeah cycle of crazy.
SPEAKER_02Yes yes 100% but because I know that I can preface like we've talked before and and so I came to you and I said you know I said it in a way of you know this is this is touching my insecurity a little bit.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02And I just want to talk with you about it and I'm also worried that so in the past you've also not because you didn't want to be a burden so to speak you didn't talk to me about it.
SPEAKER_00I didn't talk. And then what would happen is instead of getting your advice or talking through it it just got worse. Yeah. Because I wouldn't talk about it. I would just keep piling it up.
SPEAKER_02So then I was afraid for if I come to you and say this is this is touching my insecurity that it would that you would say or you would be tempted to draw back like fine I won't tell you about it. Which so then you know but anyway started the conversation with I don't want this to make you withdraw.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02And stop talking to me about that about that that's not please don't let that you know tempt you to to withdraw. So but just we've gone through it we've done the work of recognizing it and and we have this practice now so that we can talk about it in this way. Yeah absolutely absolutely so not that we don't we do have money issues sometimes and but we know how to talk about them now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah and I think that was huge for us. And I and I if I could give any kind of advice out there is that I think regardless of how you guys are in a relationship when it comes to m money or your money insecurities, I think first of all you need to come to a place where you can talk to yourself. Find out what the root cause of that insecurity is it could be something that happened when you were a kid it could have been happened something in a previous relationship or just something where there's a again that fear mentality that lack mentality of not having enough and I would say find out what's really behind that.
SPEAKER_02Well I think that'd be I think honestly that's just really common is just the fear that there's not going to be enough. Yeah and I think we I would love to see there just be a mass awakening of that of everybody just waking up to the realization that oh I'm afraid that there's not going to be enough for me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that's why I'm reacting this way and then you know like I said slowing down and look at the facts right the fact is for the by and large most part if not always you've had enough.
SPEAKER_00Right. Right. Yeah when you have the bus yeah yeah and I think you know you and I have talked about this before you know a lot of people when they they end up in some financial issues and struggling and things of that sort there's a lot of times they put themselves there. Oh yeah you know and I'm speaking from experience you know they put themselves there and then they're like I don't know how this happened well that's because you just keep the cycle going right there comes a time and you can't win the war all at once. It's the small battles and I think the first step is identifying what that is for you. Yeah. Is it you know her and I both have money insecurities but one of us because of not having enough and one is because I want everything you know yeah well and I've challenged you recently to just try to figure out where that's coming from what you know what makes you want this feel like you need to have this thing even when you really can't afford it.
SPEAKER_02Like why do you talk yourself into it you know right that oh yeah I think I can make this work when you probably really shouldn't and I think that's a you know people that do have a lot of debt you know why why do I I'm not saying I mean there's reasons and times where you just can't avoid it.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02But I don't know I think you could maybe spend some time thinking about why do I feel like I need this thing that I really can't afford. Do I really need it?
SPEAKER_00Yeah and I I think there's also those times when like when we go out to eat you know with family or like when we have kids over for dinner night and stuff like that there are times you know I just I want to take care of my family. Yeah you know I want to take care of things and so because of that I end maybe sometimes not and overspending or doing things I probably would not necessarily you know probably need you know at the time or look over at my wife and go hey babe can you get this? Yeah you know because I want to be the the lion yeah you know I want to be I want my kids to look up and go he's got us yeah you know and I I I feel like yeah or when we're out with your dad or you know in your family or or my family and and everyone's you know we're eating and it's like I'm gonna just pull up my card and you know and it's like I got this because I'm the protector I will take care of my family.
SPEAKER_02Yeah well and there is something sweet and and I've said it before you're very generous something I admire about you and and it and that it's okay to do that. Yeah sometimes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah yeah and I just and I think that's another part of it it's not because I want to look a certain way you know like I really want to look that way I just want my kids my family to know that if they need something I got them.
SPEAKER_02Right. You know yeah and I think and obviously they do because you're that's just the way you are but so I think it's fine to do it sometimes but also sometimes it's good to say when you can't yeah yeah I'm learning.
Pressure In A Weird Economy
SPEAKER_00Yeah it's a learning process. We both are yeah yeah so and and also and I know this episode might be a little tough right now too being that the economy is kind of crazy right now. Gas prices are ridiculous and there's just a lot of uncertainty and stuff but I I I feel like kind of to your point earlier is you know there is enough for everyone. Yeah there really is and I think if we learn how to adjust and we take a huge step back and look you know and I and I get it there there are families kind of like my dad you know out there right now and listening to us and and I know there's some breadwinners whether it be the man or the woman that are pretty much taking the the load of it and they're sitting back going you know it's stressing you know because they want their family taken care of. They want their kids in football or baseball you know travel baseball this or that they want to make sure that the kids and her their wife has enough to eat and you know or or making sure that they have all the things that not that they need but they also want as well you know and there's a lot of pressure and so then you got a lot of guys I know a friend of mine he's you know he he's a realtor and and you know it's a it's a tough world you know sometimes it's great and then sometimes it's not you know it fluctuates with the economy and you know I know he's got a lot of pressures and stresses and stuff and and making sure that they have enough every time you know so yeah I mean it could definitely feel like well it's easier said than done. You're right it is it is but I think again to what we were saying earlier it starts because it what we're talking about. We're talking about conflict because of money. Not saying that having a life and having a family and and and having a budget and money and stuff like that it it's not going to be tough. It's gonna always be stressful and tough to a point. What we're hoping that we can anybody can get out of this is how to resolve conflict because of that.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for bringing it back to that yeah because that that I am still work in progress I'm here not here to tell you that I've got it I figured it out yeah I and and she's not here telling you the same thing she she's it's a it's a daily walk you know and it's a it's a it's a constant reminding ourselves but also reminding ourselves that you're you're my you're my teammate. Yes we're on the same team we are we are teammates we are partners you're my person and we are doing life together and it's not she's against me because she doesn't like the way I do this or he's against me because he spends too much and this and that.
SPEAKER_02It's you know I could see how that could definitely you could feel like your spouse or your partner is working against you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But it's also you have to take the you have to have those uncomfortable conversations. Yeah I still think that even in those situations if you really were able to get curious and be honest yeah you would find that there was some some un insecurity underneath that absolutely yeah definitely but I think that again we have worked really well on that I mean you mentioned earlier you faith you know and and it's and it for us both of us I think our faith has helped a lot in helping us be patient learn how to be kind and not easily angered in those situations even though it's so easy sometimes to be like oh my gosh you know but taking a beat and figuring it out and working together working together I mean that's the best is being able to figure it out together you know and yeah yeah got anything else to say on that?
SPEAKER_02The only other thing I was thinking about was when you had made the comment about you don't want to be a burden. Yeah and I feel like it bears sharing kind of my response to that which is just because you're not saying it out loud doesn't mean it's not a burden. It's just a silent secret burden and that doesn't feel better.
SPEAKER_00Right. Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah yeah because then there's something hidden yeah it's hidden there it's like a white elephant in the room it's a tension point. It's just better just get it out there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah and but with the intention of working together to Yeah to resolve it.
Not Right Now Beats No
SPEAKER_00Not to say it's your fault. Right or what is wrong with you or what are you thinking or any of that stuff. It's more of so how are we gonna move forward with this? It's already done. The decisions were made now how we what are we going to do to help each other work to a better solution next time. You know it's yeah because I think if we dwell on on the past and you should have you should have you should have and start looking towards let's try this next time you know let's you know now you've made a you've made it where I can actually come to you you know without that fear. I mean just the other day I was like hey I want this from Amazon but I can't afford it. You're like send me the list and I'll take care of it for you.
SPEAKER_02I'm like well but but then we did have to have a conversation about that of you know like I don't want to be the one that has to say no say no.
SPEAKER_00Well and but I did tell you also there's yes there's no and there's not right now I always used to say that about God answering prayers. Yes I was just thinking about that um isn't it so much better to know that it's like when I pray and God doesn't answer it he's not necessarily saying no he's saying not right now yeah it's it's yes not right now or something better. Something better I like that something better is coming absolutely yeah um so but that's what I was telling you before I think that if I know you don't want to tell me no then don't tell me no say well why do you want that? Yeah you know and what what why is it important to you and I think for me that also opens up another dialogue for myself to go wow why do I want that? What is why why is this important and then so that's that and then if I tell you and and you're like okay well not right now but maybe in a couple months or maybe a couple weeks or whatever you know by then maybe it changed or maybe it didn't and we're good or I always like to hear yes but no no is understandable but no is also tends to give off a sense of you know negativity you know no you know or if you say not right now not right now is not negative not right now is like not right now you know and also being able to generate that conversation with why is this important to you and here's the thing when you say that it might it could be easy for some to hear why is this important to you to feel like you're defending it. It's not about defense. It's a it's literally about you getting into a conversation with yourself going why is this important to me? Because I really want that Snickers in the store then I look at it but why do I really want that? Is it just because I'm craving it right now is it something that will pass is it something I can live without the Snickers being a metaphor metaphor yeah definitely a metaphor some some that candy bar you know or whatever that bubblegum or you know whatever. And I'm just using I'm yeah being metaphorically speaking but yeah I think it I think it I think it's a great way to generate conversation and thought so we can be mindful and smart about what we're doing. Yeah and you know because that was one of the things you brought to me you were like I just don't want to tell you no you know I don't want to break your heart like you're not gonna break my heart but I think if you say well but I would feel feel pressure to be the one to be carrying the weight of being responsible with the finances.
Listener Questions And Goodbye
SPEAKER_02Yeah is really what it was about. Yeah yeah don't make me be the one that has to carry the weight of being responsible to say no. Yes you you I need you to share that responsibility with me.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm which helps out a lot yeah a lot a lot well anything else all right well thank you for spending time with us again today if there is something from the con this conversation that resonates with you give us a follow or a like on Instagram Spotify or Apple Podcast and drop us a comment we're looking for some really cool questions or maybe even some really hard questions to talk about. We'll be back real soon with another conversation until then take care and thanks again for listening to Relations.
SPEAKER_01Bye everyone