When the Pattern Ends: Signs, Surrender, and What Comes Next

When the Pattern Ends: Signs, Surrender, and What Comes Next 

How do you know when a pattern in your life is truly over—and what are you supposed to do next?

In this deeply reflective episode of Star Women Rising, Melinda explores the subtle (and sometimes surprising) ways patterns come to completion in our lives. From emotional releases that seem to come out of nowhere, to physical markers and intuitive nudges, she shares how endings don’t always look the way we expect—but they always invite transformation. 

Melinda opens up about her own recent experiences of closing out long-standing cycles, including the strange, symbolic moments that marked those endings, and the powerful stillness that followed. She breaks down what patterns really are—loops of behavior, thought, or emotion—and why they repeat until they’re fully integrated. 

You’ll learn how to recognize when a pattern is dissolving, why your body may feel it before your mind understands it, and how to resist the urge to immediately fill the space with something new. Because in the pause—that quiet, often uncomfortable space—is where clarity, healing, and true transformation begin.

This episode is a reminder that not every ending is a loss. Some are liberations. Some are the breath you’ve been waiting to take.

✨ In this episode, we explore:

•  What patterns really are and why they repeat 
•  Signs a pattern is ending (emotional, physical, and intuitive) 
•  The importance of stillness and not rushing into the next thing 
•  How your body processes and integrates deep change 
•  Why clarity and lighter relationships follow true release 
•  Simple breath and awareness practices to support the transition 

If something in your life feels like it’s shifting, ending, or falling away—this episode will help you trust it.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do… is let it complete.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Star Women Rising, where cosmic roots meet earthly power. I'm Melinda and together we'll awaken the fire within and above, exploring intuition, bold wisdom, and the ancient truths written in the stars. This isn't about escaping the world. It's about remembering who you are and rising stronger in it. Star Women Rising is part of the Chicology Podcast Collective. Real women, real stories, rising together. Let's jump right in. So uh I've talked about patterns before, so I kind of want to touch back on this idea of patterns, not necessarily an idea. We've all experienced them. So how to know when a pattern is over and what to do next is what I'd like to cover. Uh you know, recently I've experienced patterns ending. I've discussed that. Not there's been many, but there's some that seemed a little more significant than others. And, you know, the moment that I felt like the end of something. In fact, I just had that experience today. I was driving into town and I hit a squirrel. Hate hitting animals. I hate, you know, it's like the worst thing. And then I think, man, I wish we'd go back to horse and buggies because I hate when when I hit animals. And it's been a minute. So I hit a squirrel, killed it dead, but in that moment, I also felt like something's ending. Like I there were some thoughts going through my mind at the time that this happened. So it really, it just took me right to this pattern is ending. This is marking the death of this pattern that that I've been experiencing. So how do we know when a pattern is over? Because obviously not everybody is gonna be driving down the road road and hit a squirrel or or you know, things like that. My mind goes there, but not everybody thinks that way. So how do we know? And I'd like to invite you to reflect on your own lives here as we as we go through this, and maybe hopefully this will offer some clarity. Like I said, not and I don't even know that the squirrel marked anything other than I unfortunately ran over a squirrel. It was just this gut feeling that, you know, because of my line, my train of thought at the time, and the sort of this question and this this what was coming up in my mind, it it just seemed like it fit. So I pay attention to that. So what what is a pattern? Define a pattern. I think a pattern is simply a a loop of behavior or emotion or thought. You may find yourself in the same relationship with a different face over and over and over again. Uh emotions, sometimes, you know, we may have some trauma patterns that involve emotions or or thoughts. Trying to think of a thought pattern. You know, some people have thought patterns around money or around success or, you know, even even other things. You know, why why do I bother if it always happens this way? If you always expect a certain outcome, it's a thought pattern. And they're like, they're like breath. They repeat until they complete. So not you know, and not all patterns are meant to continue in regard to relationships. You may be in a relationship that is a, you know, you have a pattern with this relationship, but it's but maybe you know, you know that it's not healthy or it's not going anywhere, and that it probably shouldn't continue, and it's probably not meant to continue, but you hold on to it, it's a pattern. And I have had my share of these patterns on so many levels. I mentioned, you know, several weeks ago, I kind of had this experience where some things came to the surface. And from that point on, literally over the past month and some change, I've been really working to identify some of these patterns that I've had in my life, and I am trying to consciously release them. So, how do you know that a pattern is ending? You can have emotional release without stories. Sometimes you may just have an outburst, you know, you just nothing behind it. It just comes, you know, you find yourself sobbing for no reason, or or you go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, and then you you start to feel some relief. I've had I've had some of those where I've just had to cry it out and you don't even know why. Or you get this anger and you just want to lash out. And some people actually lash out. I try not to do that. I try not to hurt anybody in my processing, even though sometimes I want to, but there's really you don't really feel like there's anything behind it. These could be patterns that you're not aware of that are completing because I don't feel like all of them are necessarily on the conscious level. Sometimes I think patterns will complete without your mind having any input on it. That that's been my experience lately. I think dreams have sometimes helped me complete some patterns. I've had circumstances in my dreams that I felt like, okay, this is this is showing me this is the end of something. There can be physical markers like objects falling or unexpected events, like a squirrel running out in front of your car, and literally there was nothing I can do but hit the squirrel. And then I felt like it was an ending. So paying attention to different physical markers in your world, and not everybody does that. I've been for a lot of years, I've been paying attention to how the the field, the world outside of me kind of responds to what I have going on in my inner world or my thought processes. So things that you normally may not pay attention to could be showing you that you're ending a pattern. I hit the squirrel, I went into town, ran my errands, came back, and as I was cruising around my house, a picture fell. Like these these are this is really my life. And I'm sure there's other people that have these experiences, and probably a lot of people have them, but don't necessarily pay attention to them or equate them to what is transpiring in their in their uh beings at that moment. Sometimes a pattern ends with a feeling of stillness or emptiness. I've absolutely had this when I stepped away from a very big, very big pattern in my life. There was an absolute feeling of stillness and emptiness. Things that I used to be entertained by went away. Things that I used to like to do, I stopped doing. They just didn't carry anything for me. There was nothing. I I it was very strange. And then the stillness, I had nothing going on. I literally sat on a couch in the same spot for, I'm not even kidding, probably about six months. And I that's not to say that my whole life was get up, sit on the couch, and not move. I, you know, I did my little chores to keep things running, but I had completely lost interest in everything. And I just, I just wanted to be quiet. I just wanted to be still. And I felt very empty. Now, sometimes, you know, they'll they'll tell you that this could be a depression or whatever. If you feel like you're depressed and you feel like you need some sort of assistance, then absolutely do that. This is just my own personal experience. I am not offering any medical advice or or anything like that. This is my own experience, but I felt very empty, very still, and absolutely disinterested in in many of the things that used to entertain me or that used to make me feel full. And there's also this aspect of patterns ending when the body knows before the mind does. My experience has been have been, I get these body cues that that let me know that's that a pattern is ending. I I will get some heat, like my body will just erupt into this extreme heat. And then I feel like my crown is opening. So but I've been, you know, for me, I've been working at this for a while or paying attention for a while. I don't even know how to describe that. But I I started noticing that my body has started to respond to some of these patterns ending, and it usually occurs after I have some sort of thought process, could be something about the past or something that's happening that I just want to be done with. My body has started to respond and release it. But so but sometimes your mind lags. The mind wants to hold on to things, the mind wants to keep the story. I think it it makes it feel safe if you hold on to the story. But I I've just and I've noticed that sometimes my mind takes a minute to catch up. Like I still want to keep, even though I feel like I've let this go, my mind keeps wanting to sort of venture back to what was transpiring. But that's becoming less and less. The mind is actually, my mind is starting to catch up to things. So I I I noticed that I've stopped replaying things over and over in my head. And these are all really good indicators that you've got a pattern ending. So, what do you do when you notice this? Breathe. One of the things I'm learning is how important it is to breathe. And you sort of hear, you know, here and there various things, you know, take a deep breath. Like before you fire off at somebody, take a deep breath, you know, process it. Just just let it settle. I introduced a little bit of breathing, I think, in the last episode I did. Do some breathing and then acknowledge the pattern is complete, it's over, it's done. Now you're like I said, your mind may try to tell you otherwise, but once you release it, it's done. Your mind will catch up. I just what I'm trying to do now is just not really take my mind too seriously. I j I just note, okay, it's it's running with this, it's trying to figure out a way to it's like the death throws, right? The mind is going, no. And I just I watch my mind try to hang on to it. And then after a little bit of time, it stops coming up. A simple ritual you can use. You could place your hand on your heart and say the breath is free. You know, this kind of seal it, just it's gone. Let it be free, and that will help it settle in. And then don't rush to replace the pattern. You know, let let the field stabilize for you. I think often, you know, I keep going back to relationships because I feel like it's the obvious one. And I'm actually having such a very strange physical response right now as I'm speaking. Very strange. But do not rush to replace the pattern. Let let the field stabilize. I look in particular at relationships. We will sometimes get out of a relationship that was a really difficult or that was ending, could have even been a good relationship. And then we immediately want to jump right back into something else. And what I have found, not that I have a whole lot, uh a whole lot of experience with relationships where you talk about intimate relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, those types of things, but even with friendships, we don't sometimes don't let let things settle. We just want to jump right in and fill that void. And we end up not really completing the pattern. We end up back in the same position. We're back in the same boat with a different face. And it can be with any pattern. You want to say you you quit you quit drinking, and you so you replace it with smoking, and then smoking makes you want to drink. I d I don't know, maybe that's oversimplifying it, but and I'm sure you understand everybody's probably had that experience where you just felt like you needed to get right back into it. Could be after a death, let me get right back into it. After you lose a job, let me get right back into it. We don't pause, and there's a lot to be said about the pause. A lot happens in that. And then what happens next? What happens next? When you're breathing, you form a new breath pattern. When you in your life, new new patterns will emerge. And I think, you know, there are lessons in these patterns. It could be a new lesson, it could be something else, but a new pattern emerges. You take that break, you take that pause, and you may get into another job that you find far more fulfilling. And the people there are far more pleasant to be with, and you may even find some joy in it. Whereas if you hadn't taken that break, that pause, your mind, you're still in that that mindset, you're still in that pattern of chaos. Your clarity increases. I can tell you, man, the level of clarity that I'm experiencing now is far superior to what I had before. And and on that, your relationships shift gently. So, you know, I can think of there's there's some people in my life that I've kind of watched them, and and sometimes I'm like, man, what the hell? What on earth? But with this clarity, I have a better understanding of maybe why they behave the way they do. And and look, I I'm not sitting up on my high horse. I'm just telling you my own experience because we all have our stuff. But as opposed to judging and judging harshly, I'm starting to see how maybe certain things could have caused them to be certain ways. There's a clarity to it, and it's shifted my mindset on maybe their behaviors or or whatever. It's it's gently shifted it so it no longer really drives me crazy. It it's kind of a more of a an understanding, and it's not mine. That the biggest thing I've realized, it's not my stuff, and I don't have to involve myself in it. I can witness it and I can love from afar and not allow it into my own field. And that has been tremendous. It has made me feel lighter and more aligned. My days are much nicer when I recognize that I just don't have to take on everybody else's stuff. My grandma, my grand, my my dad's mom, she was my heart. She was my world. She used to say, if we all stood around in a circle and threw our problems up in the air, you'd be fighting like hell to catch your own. And she's so, she's so right. And in that, it's like, I just deal with my own stuff. I'm just gonna deal with my own stuff. I'm not gonna take on everybody else's stuff. And and it's kind of tricky because I think we're we're sort of programmed to do that, that we take on the weight of the world. We want to, we're not responsible for everybody else's stuff. So there is this lighter feeling, this lightness to existence that happens when you recognize that, that you don't have to allow it into your field. What's the what's the term I want to use where you you just let it pass, let it pass through, let it, let it walk on by, you know, just let it go. It's huge. It's huge, it's tremendous. So, with that, not every ending is a loss. Some endings are breath liberations, right? They they you get out from under the weight of something. This has been my experience in the past year and a half or so that initially I thought maybe it was a loss, but in reality, I realized that I was deeply liberated by closing out this pattern that I absolutely participated in 150%. But it freed me up to move forward in my life, to explore new things. And and I I think back, if I had just kept holding on, I would not be where I am today. And I feel really good. This is the best I've felt in years, probably since Neptune went into Pisces 14 years ago. But even beyond that, this is there's the clarity, the liberation, the ability to explore new things and to put work into myself, getting my health back on track, uh, you know, getting my mental self squared away. This has been a very tremendous experience for me. Probably would not have happened this way had I not had these experiences over the past 14 years. And also in my life, you know, there's patterns that I know have played out since childhood. This allowed me to get to this this place. I got I still got a ways to go, but this is like the the sun coming up and shining through your bedroom window in the morning after a really good night's sleep. It just feels really good. And I'd like to uh in that, I'd like to invite you to notice some of your own patterns. You know, that start small. Doesn't have to be big or start big. Do whatever you want. Maybe do some uh some journaling. I think the patterns to me, some of them are so obvious. I think they're so so hard to miss. You know, start with what you're comfortable, what you're comfortable with, and journal about it. Do some take some breaths, take some breaths with pauses. That's probably been one of the biggest things I've learned over the past several weeks is breathing again. I'm not breathing for survival, I'm breathing for expansion. I'm you know, I'm integrating the lessons. And by the way, on that integration, my body feels it physically. Over these past, well, it's probably been longer, but I've noticed over these past several weeks that when I do the deep spiral work, the deep breathing work, the deep closing out of patterns, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like shit. Excuse my French, but there is no other word that can describe how terrible I feel. My body is integrating these releases and these new opportunities in ways that I can't even describe. My joints, my legs. I feel like I've been out at the club partying all night, and I haven't done that in years, but I remember how it feels just feeling rough. I found that showers are helpful with that for me. Showers help ground me. Uh, I usually feel much better after that, and then I can I can start my day. But you you allow this to integrate. And and honestly, by the next, by the by the afternoon, usually I'm feeling pretty good. And then, of course, I do some more breathing and processing and and closing out cycles and patterns as they come up. And if if they're really big issues, that's usually when I start feeling it physically. Not everybody will have this experience. Maybe, maybe not. I'm just telling you my own that I've learned I've noticed the pattern of this deep dive I'm doing and how my body responds to it. But also, having said that, I'm healing. Like it, it, it integrates into my body, and then I feel better. I feel like there's my body is also healing along with this. It's kind of a strange experience, but I highly, highly recommend it. I do. And the grounding showers and some self-care, you know, eat eat foods that feel good to you, take baths, take showers, you know, take a walk, whatever feels good to you to help you integrate all of the the things that you're learning when you're closing out these these patterns. And sometimes, even too, the patterns aren't necessarily something that that's bad. You know, it could be a a friendship that seemed all right, you know, it didn't seem like there were any problems, but it closes out and you kind of go, you know, just sort of kind of fades away. Not necessarily a bad thing, because here's the deal. Maybe, maybe it was, you know, if you hung on to it, it was going to hold you back, or if you hung on to it, it was gonna blow up in disaster. But just I mentioned that because some of the patterns are subtle and they're they don't seem like they're issues that cause you problems. They could just be you're moving in a different direction. Not that you're moving higher or you're it's not this isn't a hierarchy, or you're you know, you're moving away because you're more advanced than they are. It's just you know, it's a divergence, and that's okay. So just to be aware that some of these some of these patterns may not necessarily be things that cause you a bunch of grief. So to be aware of that. So anyhow, if you feel something shift during this episode, take a moment to breathe and let it integrate. Maybe do some box breathing. Inhale four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Do that three times. Let let it sink in. Just just let it let it flow into you and and sink in and go wherever it needs to go. You don't have to understand it. That's a big one. You don't have to understand it. Just let it complete. And one of the things, one of my biggest issues is I I always want to understand. You know, I want I want to know the mechanations behind everything. And that's not always possible. I don't know if it's my Virgo mind. I j I just want to know. I want to know how this works. And it's that'll drive you more crazy. You don't always have to understand it. Just let it happen. Let it be, let it sink in, let it flow through you and see what what comes up. Pay attention. To what comes up. Hopefully it's not hitting a squirrel, but it could happen. And maybe it was that squirrel's time. That's the flip side of it. So having said that, thank you for joining me here on Star Women Rising. If today's conversation stirred something in you, trust it, that's your fire awakening. This podcast is part of the Chicology Collective where women everywhere are reclaiming their voice, their power, and their light. Be sure to subscribe, share this with a soul sister, and explore more shows under Chicology because we rise higher when we rise together. Until next time, keep reaching for the stars and rooting deep in your power.