From Chaos to Coherence: How Gardening Taught Me Slow Living, Self-Sufficiency & Inner Growth

From Chaos to Coherence: How Gardening Taught Me Slow Living, Self-Sufficiency & Inner Growth 

What if the lessons you’ve been searching for… were waiting in the soil all along? 

In this reflective and unexpectedly powerful episode of Star Women Rising, Melinda shares how a 15-year journey with gardening—filled with frustration, failure, and persistence—turned into a profound awakening about life, control, and personal growth. 

What started as a desire for self-sufficiency and connection to the land evolved into something much deeper: a mirror for how we live, grow, and often overcomplicate everything. 

If you’ve ever felt: 

•  Overwhelmed trying to “do it all right” 
•  Stuck in rigid systems that aren’t working 
•  Disconnected from nature, yourself, or a simpler way of living 
•  Burned out from overthinking and over-managing your life 

…this episode will hit home.
 
Melinda explores:
 

•  Why traditional approaches (in gardening and life) don’t always work 
•  How letting go of control can actually create better results 
•  The surprising power of slow living and simplicity
•  What gardening teaches us about patience, trust, and growth 
•  How to reconnect with the earth—and yourself—in a meaningful way 
•  Why not everything is “magic”… but instead a natural system we can learn to work with 

Through stories of failed gardens, unexpected success, and one unforgettable radish harvest, this episode becomes a grounded reminder that growth doesn’t happen all at once—it happens when you plant, tend, trust, and allow.
 
✨ Sometimes the biggest transformation isn’t doing more…
It’s doing less, and doing it with intention.
 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Star Women Rising, where cosmic roots meet earthly power. I'm Melinda and together we'll awaken the fire within and above, exploring intuition, soul wisdom, and the ancient truths written in the stars. This isn't about escaping the world. It's about remembering who you are and rising stronger in it. Star Women Rising is part of the Chicology Podcast Collective. Real women, real stories, rising together. Let's begin. Welcome back, welcome back. Before we get started, I'd like to just give another friendly reminder to check out more of the Chicology podcast, Amazing Women, Real Stories, Rising Stronger, and putting it out there. Just check them out. It's amazing. Today was one of those inspired days, Epiphany days, where it was like, huh, been doing some gardening, and in this journey with this gardening, I've come to some interesting conclusions, and I just kind of wanted to share. I've I feel like years ago, probably about 15 years ago, I wanted to do more connecting with the land and uh just trying out some some gardening. I just felt like I wanted I want to be able to feed myself and feed my family. It was sort of going along these lines of removing some of the gatekeepers in my world and pondering the idea of, you know, what what happens if all these conveniences aren't there anymore? And and I was honestly coming from that perspective initially. And there there was another aspect of it too. We lived in a really beautiful area, but you know, our soil wasn't all that amazing. And, you know, I I had planted vinca and things like that, and I had to water it constantly, even though it's drought resistant, you know, you go too long, it shrivels up, and then you gotta water it to try to perk it back up. And water was always an issue where we lived. And I thought, man, you know, I'm watering all this stuff, and you know, am I gonna eat it? Is it, you know, is it just kind of felt just sort of wasteful. And so I kind of got on this kick of creating like uh edible, edible landscaping. It's not like a new concept, but it just the thought process happened for me. And then I I think people were already kind of tuned into that sort of thing. But for me, I thought, man, you know, if if shit hit the fan, would we be able to survive? That was an element of it. Looking around, it's like I'd like the yard to be pretty, but I don't want to just be wasting water on just trying to make everything look good. And and in this area where I lived, they were always honest and you know, your water, you know, conserving water, which I I don't really have an issue with that. And the prices of utilizing water were going up and up, but you could go to some of these other areas where people didn't care because they could afford to run their water all the time and you know they had their grass and all that. And and that's not a judgment. That's just that's just the way it was, you know. If you can afford it and it doesn't matter to you, you know, so be it. I'm not I am not the the police of of that kind of thing. It was just at the time, it was just my my thought process. So I started doing things, like I kind of harvested some wild strawberries and planted them, and we had a couple fruit trees, but really growing things was was very difficult. And you know, I wanted chickens and my husband was looking at me like I was crazy, kind of like, where are we gonna put chickens? And I was really just feeling this wanting to connect and have things that we know where they come from and feeding ourselves, and it was really becoming a very strong push for me, but we we didn't live someplace that it was easy to do that. So I did a a couple of the things that I could. I even planted some asparagus that I I think I actually grew them from seed. I got some asparagus seeds and put them in the, you know, I sprouted them and put them in the ground. And I had, I think one thing that I was actually able to grow was loofah. And I had some loofah seeds from friend, and I actually grew some amazing loofah, and our backyard sprouted blackberries that I'm pretty sure some birds had had dropped seeds. So we had these big blackberry plants. So it wasn't intentional, but it was kind of starting to happen, and and as it was happening, um, I was feeling it more and more, but I was really limited in what I could do. And and that was that was kind of a drag. I just all I wanted to do was just grow food. And I'd never been a gardener before. I'd tried a couple times in the past to do some tomatoes, and I did have like a small barrel with some strawberries, and it was very small, and I think it was short-lived. I was just a lot of it were was epic fails. Came across this opportunity to move someplace else, and we landed in a place where where we had the space to do it. I wouldn't say the soil was any better, but just space and the ability to start trying to grow things. We we started raising some of our own animals. But the gardening thing I I wanted so desperately to do, and I it's just for me, it's been an epic, epic fail. When we first moved, I I had some little garden boxes and and I was able, you know, I did seedlings. I was just kind of on the seedling thing. Like you gotta get a head start, you gotta do your seedlings first so you can have this this, you know, increase your harvest and and your harvest time. And you know, I was I really didn't know what I was doing, but I was kind of getting information here and there and and trying to put this together. And the first first year, I actually grew probably some of the most amazing lettuce that you've ever seen and some spinach. And I was sending pictures back to my family, and and I was getting comments like, oh, that is some of the most beautiful lettuce and spinach I think I've ever seen. And that was I think and I also think I I had some incredible radishes, and we did plant some potatoes, and and those came out. That was pretty cool. And that just that sort of fueled the flame for me even more. I want and I had some specifications of gardening. I didn't, I didn't want garden boxes, I wanted my plants to be in the soil, I wanted them to be connected to the earth. And I I don't think that that was really too much to ask, but it really was a lot to ask because where we landed really doesn't have the best soil for that. So you gotta you have to do, even though we have a lot of things that grow wild, we have wild, uh wild plums and pecan trees and all kinds of things, herbs and um wildflowers, medicinal things that are abundant in the woods. But just trying to grow a vegetable garden proved to be the most difficult thing for me. And and like I said, I had some specifications that probably made it even more difficult. So that first year we had a couple things, and it was it was enough to keep me going. The lettuce was amazing. It was like, oh, I didn't even know lettuce tasted like this. Like you buy stuff in the store, and it's like our taste has been muted because it's you know mass produced and and whatever the soil has been, you know, the nutrients have been drained out of the soil. So that I that was like, man, you know, we've we've we've got to continue this. And then my husband said, well, you know, let's let's move the garden over to this area, carve out a piece of piece of land over there. So we and I I kind of wasn't really keen on the idea, but it was like, okay, it sort of it's more out of the way, good sun, you know. So I got some row coverings because the weed, I can grow weeds, I can tell you that. I I can grow weeds successfully, and I I've proven that year after year. And what I've learned is, you know, the weeds, nature prevails. So I, you know, I tried the row covers, and I think I I actually grew some really good sunflowers that year, some amazing sunflowers, and everything else was pretty much an epic fail. And so for about seven years in this spot, I kept going out. I'd get my seedlings started. My house would be full of seedlings. You know, I've got the grow lights, and I don't really have it's my house, isn't really set up to do all of that. So I had trays everywhere, and I think, you know, it was difficult because you really have to stay on top of it. You have to your seedlings sprout, your soil temperatures have to be correct, they sprout, then you have to make sure your lighting is correct so they don't get leggy. And those of you that are out there that are gardeners, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Be in because then you're just it's just like you're creating more of a mess or you're making it more difficult for your plants to survive. For seven seven years, this had been my process. And in the meantime, I was overwhelmed with, you know, I was dealing with my adrenals and my health was uh really not great, but I felt like, okay, well, if I can have a garden and a space where I can go to and tend to, then you know, at least I I can get up and get moving. And then that was not working, and it became really overwhelming, and a lot of time and energy that I really didn't have put into um a a setup, a design that was really not gonna work, and I was spinning my wheels. So this year I decided to try something different. And I I'm kind of a YouTuber, I'm not ashamed to say it. I like YouTube because I can watch what I want to watch. I don't have to go, you know, you go on the TV, you're you're at the mercy of whatever's on the TV. But on YouTube, I can peruse and and check things out. And and what I find is that all of a sudden, out of the blue, it seemingly randomly, something will pop up because they think they know me, right? But something that is completely different will pop up. And that's what happened with this particular situation. Uh YouTube gave me a video on keyhole gardens, and I thought, huh, that's interesting. You know, I'm gonna check that out. So I I click on it and I'm going, this is it. This is this is what I'm gonna do. And it's actually ancient, right? This this keyhole garden. It's it's they've been using them way back, so I kind of ponder it and I'm thinking, yeah, because my husband had already told me I'm gonna bulldoze that space. I'm tired of it, you know, he's frustrated because it's a mess. It's a mess. We even put up a greenhouse and none of it was really functional. Weeds kept popping through it. I'm I'm grow literally growing weeds in the greenhouse. And then once that happens and it's hot, I don't want to go in there because I'm it's hot. And I'm wondering, am I gonna encounter a snake or something that's living in there? Because it is it is like a haunted mansion inside this greenhouse. It looks really nice on the outside, and it's a very beautiful and sturdy setup, but it's not really functional. So he he was getting frustrated. He's like, I'm just gonna bulldoze the garden. And I was like, Yeah, please do, please eliminate that pressure for me to try to go out and manage all this because I just can't. And so this keyhole garden came up and I sat on it for a little bit. And he, you know, he's like, Okay, you know, what what are we gonna do with this space? Are you gonna try to garden? What do you want to do? He's pushing me to make a decision. Tell him, you know, I came across something really interesting. I tell him the concept. He kind of looks, he looks, he goes, I think that sounds great. He pretty much got to work on it right away, which made me a little nervous because I'm like, okay, here we go. Is this gonna be another one of those ideas that is an epic fail? And I didn't even bother doing seedlings this year because I thought I just can't. I don't know that I'm gonna have a garden because I can't deal with what I have. It's just not practical, it's not functional. You know, I've tilled in stuff, you know. I and it's what happened last year. This is what's kind of funny. Last year, my row coverings, I didn't realize I had run out and I had cleaned everything up, got out there to put my row coverings down and ran out after one row. So part of the garden was had like row covering and the rest didn't, and then the weeds just took over and became unmanageable. So it's probably a blessing. So he he got right to work. We used rocks that were here, rocks from the land that are already here. We I think the cost of building it was just the time that we put into it, the paint to line out the circle and and the compost center for it. And after he built them, filled them with dirt, and then he was like, here you go, you know, do something with it. And it was absolutely new to me. So I wasn't sure how it was gonna work, and hoping that it did, because it was a lot of time, and he put up two of them, a lot of time and energy. So we uh, you know, we and I kind of couldn't help him put it together because they're stacking rocks. But I mean, when he finished, they were absolutely the most beautiful things I'd I'd seen. They are the raised beds, but they're aesthetically pleasing, they're not over-orchestrated. For me, I I really want to keep things natural looking. I'm not trying to put up a bunch of fanciness or whatever. I really like to keep the space as it is because it's beautiful. So they are absolutely gorgeous beds. So I planted some seeds, took me a minute. I kind of, you know, I have not direct sowed before. Like I said, if you're a gardener, you know, you know what I'm talking about. I just putting it right in the ground. I didn't start with seedlings. So everything about this for me was really kind of a shot in the dark. And it it was a really new concept, and I had to just really put myself out there, take a leap of faith and and do it. And in that, I realized some things about this process, wanting to connect with the land and wanting to grow food and wanting to do these things, but I was really pretty rigid in my thought processes of how that had to be done. And this new system, I've had to just kind of just do it and see how it plays out. And I, you know, like I said, I direct sowed. I didn't overplant, you know, kind of before I had this, you know, you gotta plant, you gotta have 50,000 seedlings, and then, you know, you end up with some stuff. And not like I grew a lot of stuff, but there were things that you'd end up with a million a million of them. And I I'm not really in it, I don't know how to can. That's on my list of things I want to learn to do. But you would, you know, I found that a lot of this stuff went, I won't say it went to waste. We have animals that we could feed it to, but then it was like this the whole system was jacked up. So, and I'm still in the process, but I'm sharing this, you're probably thinking, what does this have to do with, you know, this this sort of firewoman rising concept? But it it for me it has a lot to do with it. It's this connection to the earth, but also surrendering, and not even so much surrendering, but taking a leap of faith. So I I direct sowed my seeds, and I'm thinking, you know, this is this is cool. Okay, don't overplant, don't obsess over it, because the whole idea is to create a space that I can manage, something that's manageable, that's not gonna burn me out, that I can actually go out and interact with. Planted the seedlings after several days, you know, we we had some different weather. You know, I'd go out, I go check every day and water the the compost and you know, mix in the compost and started noticing some things popping up. And it was really a learning experience. What what things were I planted, what zones need, you know, more water, what zones do things seem to be really thriving? And much to my surprise, everything that I put in there started to pop up and then grow. And I'm feeling the excitement growing, but I'm still a little hesitant and I want to stagger my planting. So I give it a couple weeks and I go out and put a few more seeds in so I'm not overdoing it, but have a steady harvest. And more and more things are are popping up, and I'm really getting quite excited, but I, you know, I'm tending to it. It it's a setup where I like to go out every day. I like to look. I can pop the little weeds out because it's a smaller space. It's like a raised bed, so it's a smaller space, it's beautiful. I'm interacting with it and I'm learning from it. And what I I learned that I don't have to be so rigid with processes, right? This, this, the reason I bring this up, like I said, what does it have to do with any of that? It's the connection with the earth, the growing my own food to feed my family, but it's become a a learning experience for my life in general. Like you don't, you don't, you plant your seeds, you let it let them go, let them ride. As they sprout, you kind of tend to them, clear some weeds, tend to them, see how things are growing, see if what needs nourishing, what you can just leave alone. Don't have to overmanage it. And I actually, shortly after everything started popping, like just beautiful. I was so excited. We got this really heavy rain. I was I was spreading it a little bit, but it was also, I kind of had to say, well, you know, it is what it is. And I will go out and check. And and if it's a disaster, then I'll I'll start over. I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna keep at this and I'm I'm learning. I've given myself the space to learn this process. We had this heavy rain. I went out and the garden settled and it settled like three inches, and I looked around, and every little seedling that had come up was still intact. It was beautiful. I it was like this moment. I was so happy, so excited. And like I said, it it's been when I I look at this garden and I feel like it's reflecting how far I've come. I went from overdoing it, rigid system, gotta do it this way, wasting a lot, wasting a lot of time to slowing it down, managing as I go, dealing with whatever comes up, dealing with it and knowing that you have no control over it, but dealing with it as it comes and responding if you need to respond. And I really took note of how this process of gardening has shown me a lot about my own growth and where I'm at and also how to slow it down and to not put too much on my plate, you know, not to overthink, not to feel like I have to do everything all at once. You know, usually, you know, there was, like I said, there was probably a time where I would have gone out there and every inch of that place would have had a seed in it. I have backed off and it has been the most pleasant, enjoyable experience. Um I'm still in the process. I did harvest a radish today that my granddaughter planted because it's it's easy for the kids to be able to be involved as well. And I don't have to worry about them running through it and stomping out stuff like Godzilla, like, you know, in this other bed that I had. Everybody comes in, I'm like, watch your step, why, you know, it was driving me crazy. My granddaughter actually helped me plant some things, and one of the radishes she planted was ready today, and I popped it out and uh washed it and I cut it in half and shared it with my husband, and we were both amazed. It was like the most delicious radish we'd ever had in our entire lives. It was, it was because he built the structure. My granddaughter planted the seed, I tended it. We had some help from Mother Nature, and then I harvested it and we came full circle. So it absolutely was the most delicious, beautiful radish I had ever eaten, laid eyes on. I took pictures of it. It's kind of funny. I have I planted some carrots, my granddaughter helped too. And you with all the rain, it's a only one right now survived, but it's like my favorite, my favorite plant in there, this carrot. And I joke that once this carrot is ready, I think I'm gonna have a ceremony and have the family out. We're gonna do a ceremony around this carrot because it's it's my favorite. It's the survivor, it's the one that made it through all the the craziness. But really, my my thought process and why I wanted to share this is there's a lot to be said for connecting like that, for being part of this really natural process of of growing and you know, planting and growing. Growing and harvesting. It it just created this mirror of where I am in my my life, slowing it down. And it doesn't have to be a certain way. And people can give you their thoughts on it, you know, guidelines. I'm new at this. So I'm definitely looking at people who've done it before. I don't feel like I have to reinvent the wheel, but I also don't, it doesn't have to be exactly by the book. And I will be happy with every little bit of whatever I get out of there. And it's already far more successful than anything I've ever tried. It is a keeper. And what's really funny is it's also become a learning tool. So people have come, they've asked about it, they're fascinated, they're struck by the beauty. And literally, it's from the bazillion rocks that we plucked out of that garden area that were huge, that we couldn't, you know, couldn't grow anything because it was nothing but rocks. And we tilled them up and threw them aside and whatever, these rocks that are all over the place. We built it with those rocks. So I wanted to share that. It's been a beautiful process. It's taught me a lot about myself. It's taught me a lot about, you know, taking my time, not overdoing it, not creating more stress for myself, not creating chaos, planting the seeds, letting them ride. And in life, you plant your seeds, you let them ride. And you tend to them if they need tending to. You got to thin some out, you thin some out. You wait and see what comes. You know, I've I'm always trying to avert a disaster. I'm, you know, overthinking everything. And this has really brought me back down to earth. It has really grounded me. So if you're you're someone out there that's looking for a way to ground and connect and follow your your own inner guidance because that's that's what I've been doing. I go out and there are some things that I look at and I kind of go, uh, you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna do it this way. I know everybody says to do it this way, but I I'm kind of feeling I need to do this this way. And I'm gonna plant these here because I think they might be, they might thrive better in this area. And it's it's just been such a beautiful connection, a beautiful process. Like I said, it took 15 years, but it definitely has has taught me a lot about myself. And I'm reaping some really delicious rewards from it. So hey, if you're inspired to get out there and and grow a garden, look into the keyhole garden. It's you know, whatever. There's lots of different styles out there, but you know, check it out. It's ancient. I like that it was ancient. I like that connection to ancestral stuff, ancient things. I think a lot of the ancient people were dialed in, and then we sort of got away from the things that were working and made a mess. If you have a really crappy soil, I I encourage you to look into this. But you know, just something to consider. This was my journey, my thought processes. I just wanted to share it because it's absolutely been fascinating. And I also learned, too, one of the most profound things I experienced about this garden was that there is this natural process. It's not mystical, it's not magical. I think we have a tendency sometimes to really want to make everything mystical and magical. And there is a natural order, a natural way that the universe works. And you tap into it, but it's it's not it's structural, it's there. We just aren't always paying attention to it. And it was really a profound experience for me to have that realization that, oh, it not everything. In fact, probably if I if I think about it realistically, it's not it's not mystical and magical. It's there. It's there for you to tap into. It's structural, it's how it's how the system works. And if you work with it, then you're gonna reap those rewards. You're gonna see the benefits, you're gonna see the beautiful outcomes. It's not magic, it's just there. I'd like to on that note encourage, encourage you if you want, like I said, if you wanna ground yourself, you wanna create a sacred space, a place that you'll wanna visit and spend time in and maybe relax and feel some joy, however you do it, even if you get a pot, put some soil in it, plant a flower. I don't think you'll regret it. And on that note, I'd like to just say thank you for joining me here on Star Women Rising. If today's conversation stirred something in you, trust it. That's your fire awakening. This podcast is part of the Chikology Collective where women everywhere are reclaiming their voice, their power, and their light. Be sure to subscribe, share this with the Soul Sister, and explore more shows under Chicology because we rise higher when we rise together. Until next time, keep reaching for the stars and rooting deep in your power.