A Time of Wintering with Guest Janet Rossbach, Founder of Affinity Blueprint

Janet B. Rossbach, founder of Affinity Blueprint, is a changemaker, nonprofit consultant, and career coach with nearly three decades of experience in higher education and nonprofit leadership. Throughout her career, she has built vibrant alumni and affinity networks at institutions including the School of Visual Arts, The Cooper Union, Columbia Business School, Baruch College, Camp Rising Sun, and SUNY New Paltz.

While she loved the work of building meaningful relationships and communities, Janet eventually realized that the realities of organizational life were no longer aligned with the way she wanted to contribute. She made the courageous decision to step away from her full-time role, launch her consulting practice, and later take a sabbatical to “rest, reflect, recover, and reboot.”

Janet describes this time as a period of cocooning, a chance to release expectations, past models, and assumptions about success that no longer served her. It became an opportunity to listen inward and redefine what success truly meant on her own terms.

As someone who studies leadership and organizational culture, I’m often struck by how much we glorify endurance. But what Janet models here is discernment, the wisdom to recognize when alignment has shifted and the courage to trust what’s emerging next.

This episode is an invitation to create space for yourself. Even if a full sabbatical isn’t possible, consider taking a day. A half day. Even an hour.

To pause.
To listen.
To reconnect with what ignites you.

About Janet Rossbach

Janet B. Rossbach is the founder of Affinity Blueprint, a nonprofit consulting practice focused on helping mission-driven organizations strengthen relationships with their communities and constituencies. A seasoned higher education and nonprofit leader with nearly 30 years of experience, Janet has built and led alumni engagement initiatives at institutions. Janet is also a NACE-certified career coach and nonprofit advisor who has consulted with organizations on volunteer engagement, membership strategy, and organizational change. Through her work and coaching, she helps professionals and institutions reimagine what meaningful connection and success can look like.

Contact Janet Rossbach:

Website:         https://www.affinityblueprint.com/

LinkedIn:          https://www.linkedin.com/in/janetrossbach/

Email:              Janet@AffinityBlueprint.com

Where you can find Dr. Kenya Nyota Lee, host of Creative and Resilient Voices:

Substack:         https://creativeandresilient.substack.com

LinkedIn:          https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenyanyotalee/

Instagram:      https://www.instagram.com/kenya_the_pathfinder/#

Email:              Kenya@Kenyanyotalee.com

Resources Mentioned:

Tiny Experiments by Anne-Laure Le Cunff

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Wintering by Katherine May

About Dr. Kenya Nyota Lee
Dr. Kenya Nyota Lee is a storyteller, leader, and strategist whose work explores creativity, resilience, leadership, and the deeply human process of becoming. Through essays, conversations, and community gatherings, she creates spaces where women can reflect on their journeys, recognize themselves in one another’s stories, and step forward with greater clarity and courage.

Read and subscribe: creativeandresilient.substack.com

Connect on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kenyanyotalee

or send an email to kenya@kenyanyotalee.com

or visit www.kenyanyotalee.com

Subscribe to Creative & Resilient Voices on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, or wherever you listen.

Your story matters. Your creativity in all its forms is sacred. Your resilience is your superpower.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to Creative Commons Later where so full storytelling. It's bold strategy. I'm your host, Dr. Kenya Theoda. In each episode, we explore what it means to live, lead, and create with intention. To product conversation, reflection, and stories of coming. Because our lives are static. We're always unfolding. Is that unfolding? We discover just how creative we truly are. So welcome to another episode of Creative and Resilient Voices. I am Dr. Kenya Nioda Lee, and today's guest is Janet Rossback. Janet describes herself as an entrepreneur, which I'll ask her to talk a little bit more about that phrase in a minute. She describes herself as an entrepreneur within the higher education and nonprofit sectors for nearly 30 years as an alumni relations professional. She's also a seasoned nonprofit consultant and has advised numerous nonprofit organizations on volunteer engagement, membership programs, human resources, organizational change tactics, and strategies. And she's also a certified career coach and a mentor. So welcome, Janet. I really appreciate you coming here today.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Delighted to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I should note that so Janet is amidst a very exciting transition. She has recently become founder and chief engagement officer of Affinity Blueprint, which helps organizations and leaders nurture thriving communities and relationships to increase participation, membership, volunteerism, philanthropy, and belonging. So Janet, I guess two things, and then we'll you know jump into talking a bit more about the transition that you're in. Can you um talk a little bit more about this phrase intrapreneur?

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Absolutely. So I have led a very institutional professional career. I have worked for, except for one startup experience, uh, I've worked for established organizations and institutions, uh, often with uh multiple departments and um hierarchies and so forth. I have been fortunate that within the space of alumni relations, engaging the graduates of each of the colleges, business schools, universities that I've worked for, there hasn't been a lot of precedence. Um there have been some reunions, there have been a few programs, but I've been given tremendous liberty to be innovative, to come up with new programs, uh new partnerships, both within the organization, across departments, as well as uh externally. And so uh the phrase was uh created intrapreneur to represent being uh a change maker, a uh innovator, um and uh someone who really is trying to bring new ideas, new protocols, new processes within a larger institution.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Okay. So you've worked large, as you say, as you know, largely within other institutions, but now you're amidst this pivot where you started your own organization that will help other institutions. So you've gone from intrapreneur to entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 4:05

So can you talk a little bit about um what brought you to that point? You know, you've walked this journey, you've done this work for over 30 years, and now you've gotten to this point where you said, I want to start my own thing, I want to become a consultant. How did you get to that point? Like what was the moment where you said, Okay, something has to change, I need to do things a little differently.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

So uh at my last institutional job, um, I was brought on to be a change maker and then uh and embraced and welcomed to be a change maker. And then uh it became apparent that the organization didn't want to change. And uh I decided that it was best for me to uh say thank you very much, not the right fit, than to sit on my hands for a few years to uh to wait out the organization and the leadership uh to get to a place where new ideas would be welcome. That entrepreneurship spirit was uh less uh uh encouraged in reality than in their uh public presentation. So I decided to leave and I was exhausted. I was exhausted of uh living in a big uh on a big ship uh that uh took so long to move. I was um tired of the politics of institutions. Um amusingly, then I went uh directly into actual politics, but that's another story. Um but I just wanted to have some freedom and to be able to bring my expertise, bring the knowledge that I've accumulated, bring my creativity uh and uh and and suggestions for how to engage people and how to build networks and so forth to a broader uh to a broader world. And I know there are a lot of fundraising consultants out there, uh, and I find that they may not spend as much time on the friendraising part of community engagement uh and more focus on how to prepare people to make the ask. And there's a need for that in the fundraising world, absolutely. And so what I'm hoping to do is fill that niche where how do you build authentic relationships with your constituencies so that uh you uh are ready, they are ready when you want to make a fundraising ask or within an employment uh corporate environment, uh employees, 70% of employees they these days say they're not happy at work. How do you can how do you create authentic, uh happy places to work? How do you take care of your people? Uh so this is the the area that I'm excited to bring my expertise. And uh, you know, part of entrepreneurship is that you are the chief bottle washer as well as the chef, you know, your sales and marketing as well as program and finance. And uh we'll see uh as things go uh if I need to outsource uh things. I know folks who have gotten virtual assistants to help with um administrative tasks and and so forth. So we'll see how it goes.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Okay. So you said a lot, so I want to unpack a few things. Sure. Um so I want to back up a bit and ask you to talk more about the role of being a change maker. You said you were in an organization, it said they want to change, but not really. Um, so what does it mean for you to be a change maker? And how do you, I guess, bring yourself, your values into that role?

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Part of what I bring to the work that I've done is that I listen. And I listen to the constituents. And in many cases, in uh when dealing with institutional brand and reputation, folks think about the institution's primary interests and priorities as opposed to the interests of their constituents. And so in what I found was being a change maker was shifting the conversation from being about how the brand made other people's lives better to saying, let's hear about how the lives have gotten better and hear their stories and then make it referential to the institution. Does that make sense? It does. It does. So uh so in these instances, it was really about oh, are there a group of people who want to mentor students? That would be great for both the students and the alumni. Let's set up a mentoring program. Or oh, is there a group of alumni who uh work in the arts? Let's creep create a network that uh lets them uh communicate and connect and learn from each other and affiliate it with the institution. So it's going from the many to the institution as opposed to the institution to the many.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

Okay. So it's more people focused as opposed to institutional. It's starting at center and then working your way out from there.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Within the the healthy uh relationship with the institution, right? You need to respect the institution's brand. Uh, but uh what I had found um previously was that I had given been given a lot of more freedom to initiate new programs and activities and change the conversation from uh uh what has the institution done for you to what have you done and how did the institution influence it? It's subtle, but it's different.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

Okay. So you you talked about that this transition, this pivot to becoming an entrepreneur. Yeah. Um you noted that this change is driven by exhaustion.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Um as you've made this transition, you're starting your own organization aligned with your own value, your vision of what it really means to be a change maker for you. Um how are you doing things differently to I guess have that freedom that you didn't have before?

SPEAKER_01 11:57

So uh I was reading The New Yorker, I guess it's what what uh the January 19th issue of The New Yorker, and um there was a book review that it's called It's Not You, It's Me. And two authors uh have written books about the concept of fawning. So in the broader scope of traumatic response of fight, uh flight or freeze, they are suggesting there's this fourth option where you sort of befriend the external enemy, if you will, um uh in which the victim seeks safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others. And this is something that spoke tremendously to me, uh, and I've been reflecting on recently, because there have been many instances from my childhood, from time in college, uh, from to time uh during my professional career where I've felt compelled to befriend uh individuals who um intimidated me and uh who I uh felt a difficult relationship with and tried to use my intuition to anticipate their needs in order to uh be a good girl. There's a whole concept of the good girl, right? Uh but part of the side effects of doing this is I could tell you uh if we went into a gift store, I could tell you what gift would be great for Kenya, or what gift would be great for my mother, or what gift would be great for some other person, because I feel like I've internalized their interests and needs. Not saying, Kenya, that you are uh I have a traumatic relationship with you. That is not the case whatsoever. Uh, but the sense of self, the sense of identity, the sense of what I want, um I very often put uh to the bottom of the list. And I was very much focused on the greater good, what was the right thing to do? Uh I grew up uh not with the expectation to be perfect, but with the expectation to be right, and who defines what right is? Yes, it was often my mother. Um, but then it could be a teacher, then it could be a boss, then it could be, and so I feel at a relatively mature age, I am having this conversation with myself about what's right for Janet and what do I actually want from my life? I've had a very good life, I've been very fortunate. Um, I uh I have tremendous gratitude for uh for the support and uh and life that I've had. But success, what does success mean? What does ambition mean has changed. I remember, and this was absolutely influenced by working in business schools and colleges that were dedicated to helping young people become a success. And in many cases, that definition was corner office, big job, big title, uh, big paycheck. And it was very much one quadrant of life that was defined as success. And um and over the last decade, I've had a lot of conversations about what does success mean. Uh and uh I'm now able to have the time as I'm I'm taking a bit of a sabbatical, yes, I'm launching this uh this uh new consultancy, uh, but my priority is to actually sit and reflect during this time of wintering um and start listening internally to oh what matters most to me? And how does health fit into that uh picture? And how does friendship fit into that picture? And how does service and volunteerism fit into that picture perhaps less than before? Um we shall see. This is the conversation I'm I'm having with with myself and and uh and with other people too.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Um what you you said is has been is is immensely powerful um in talking about how the definition of success has changed. Um I think I I started this this podcast because for me also the definition of success started to change. Um I mean you noted so much about almost living to the expectations of others, and part of this pivot has been really to listen to what you need, what you want, what you desire. Um so I know you're still in this transition, you're still trying to figure out I guess what success looks like for you. Um so I guess up until this point, what has this journey felt like?

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Oh, it's very challenging. Um I on the Myers Briggs, I am uh ENFJ and my extroverted self uh has provided momentum for me. And I would rather go out for a cup of coffee with a friend and chat than actually stay home and read a book or reflect um or go to the gym. Uh so I feel like I'm nurturing an introverted side of me and I'm loving it, I'm loving it. Um, but uh I do have this desire to make dates, to see friends. I'm a social person, and I'm not not doing it, I'm just doing it less. Uh so that's one challenge. Also, in the Myers-Briggs model of the J versus the P, uh, I like things to be done. I like to check mark things rather than be in a state of process. Um, my husband talks about uh being comfortable with being uncomfortable. I am not good at it. Uh and I want resolution, I want harmony, I want things to be decided. And so I may wake up one morning and say, Oh, maybe what I'll do is I'll I'll start an artsy clothing shop for women, and I have a whole plan and it's like ready to go. But actually, I need to reflect on it and say, actually, I don't think that's the business I want to go into. Um, and then I have another idea, and I want it, I want to have my fount of uh ideas, I want to move forward with them. And so this process of actually saying, okay, write it down, think about it, reflect on it, uh, and taking that pause to not jump. Uh, I'm very good at jumping at things. Um, and and being like, oh, you want to do this? Okay, let's put on a show. Let's, let's, let's do it, let's go. And that's part of my strengths. I I recognize that. Uh, but I want to do it thoughtfully, intentionally. Um many years ago, like a decade ago, I would uh go to these wellness centers for a week's program. And one of these places was called Kropalu. Uh, and you're familiar with it. And I would come back and I would say, oh, this was so magnificent. I had healthy food, I got to do yoga, I got to do tai chi, I was able to uh meet all these fascinating people, um, and I felt so well and I went to sleep every night. And why can't I live a Krapallu lifestyle? And the reality is, is I could um in sort of a retired life uh that I could make and and sort. Of during the sabbatical, I'm trying to have that Kripallu life in which I try to be physical every day and try to be thoughtful every day. But I also know that part of this transition, I also want to be paid for what I'm worth. And that's uh something that when the time comes, for the majority of my career, I've felt like I've been underpaid and I've had to overgive. And it was because, oh, that's just the way it is in the nonprofit sector. That's just the way it is in higher education. You do it because you love it. And uh I would love to be paid for what I'm worth and not be apologetic about it. We'll see again, we'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Um hold on to that. Hold on to that. Uh I'm gonna challenge you. Don't don't say let's hold on to that. Um, hold it up, hold it up. Yeah, yeah. Um so that's for you this chapter really is about, you know, you said defining success in your own terms.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Um, it's about having, you know, it's just freedom. I think knowing your worth. Knowing your worth is about, you know. So don't don't even say, you know, we'll see what happens. This is this is I know my worth, this is what I'm asking for. That's right. And so there are organizations that will be able to meet you there. And maybe not in the ways you would ideally expect, but it might be in other ways. So I think that's where you need to be open. It might be dollar amount per se, but dollar amount is very good. It might be in resources, it might be in network, it might be an opportunity. Um, but yes, step into it, say, I know my worth, this is what my worth is. You know, um, we're gonna leave that question mark out of it. Um thank you, Dr.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

Lee.

unknown 24:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Um so there was something else you you noted because I'm I too am guilty of this. Um, you go off to a conference, um, Omega Institute is my place.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Yes, sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

And oh, you come back and you have all these grand ideas about how you're gonna change your life, and then by day three, you know, it feels so unrealistic.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

So uh there are two books that I am reading. I tend to read like two or three books at the same time. Um tiny experiments and atomic habits. And forgive me because I do not remember the names of the authors, but I will put it in the show notes. Um, so tiny experiment experiments. Um the writer talks about literally approaching change or or the things that you want to pursue literally as tiny experiments. You start off small. Let's see how this works. And then I might need to pivot and change it up a little bit. So, you know, in the science world, you keep, you know, you have various different permutations of an experiment until you figure out what works. So you but you start off small, you know. Um, I think you know, I'm guilty of the go big or go home, and then we just end up going home.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Uh, yeah, totally, totally.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

So you just do things incrementally. And I think atomic habits is along that same um that same mindset, whereas um you say you want to, you um, you want to run a marathon, you know, you're not gonna start running 20 miles a day off the bat. You start off, but maybe you're gonna walk a mile a day. Right. Then you're walking three miles a day, then maybe you start working your way up to jogging. But it's about giving ourselves grace. I think that is the word. That is the word we can do. 100% giving ourselves grace um in pursuing our dreams and pursuing the things that align with our values, where we are now, wherever this, you know, next chapter takes us, but allowing ourselves grace knowing that things are not going to be perfect.

unknown 26:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Um, there may be some failures along the way, things will not be done exactly right, but we learn from those mistakes and then we pivot again. Um, so I think you're you're off to you know, a very good start on, you know, one having this time for reflection, even though you might be forcing yourself to do it.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

But no, I I've always wanted it. I've always wanted to take this sabbatical. Uh and in fact, uh after leaving my last uh employer, I jumped, I jumped immediately into becoming campaign manager for a woman running for uh my local town council. And I jumped immediately into uh doing a couple other projects because I had I had FOMO, I had LinkedIn FOMO. Like I my identity on LinkedIn was so important to me as a as a networker, as a communicator, as a as a connector, that I needed to have a professional identity that that I could hold on to. And I had a great time uh doing the campaign work and those projects. And then talking with my husband, he's like, you know, you're allowed to give yourself a break, you're allowed to take some time to uh to sort of get to baseline and base camp, even, you know, at the bottom of the mountain. And uh and there's this other book I wanted to share with you. Do you know this book, Wintering? No, it looks good. It's the concept, admittedly, is better than the book, but the basic concept, um, it's a lovely, lovely book. Uh, but basically, it's the power of rest and retreat in difficult times, is the subtitle. And uh apparently the ancients they didn't start the year until um the end of March, early April. And that this time of wintering was following uh nature, and that the bears went to sleep, the trees went to sleep. It was about um being quiet at home and rested because nature needs time to rest and recover to then spring back and bloom. And so uh I think that model that we don't have to all of a sudden join the gym on January 1 and have all these resolutions and have all this pressure on ourselves, but that we actually have the season of winter to uh place the seeds, to start the process, to uh to reflect and um reboot so that when the sun is up more significantly, you can bloom again.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

I love that. So it's safe to say that if you had to name the season that you're in, it's winter.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

100%.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Uh um who's the author of that book?

SPEAKER_01 29:44

Katherine May.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Catherine May, okay. Gonna pull that up and take a look at that. Um, this is uh a nerd alert here. Umriginally the calendar was supposed to start in March.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

There you go. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

I think it actually did start in March, and somewhere throughout history, um, forgive me, I don't know all the details. We can Google it up. Right. It shifted to January, but but March was spring, the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

And it made perfect sense for you know um the year to start as spring was beginning. Um so I don't remember the the historical impetus for why it got shifted to January. Um, but to your point, we feel when we're aligned with nature, we want a cocoon during this period.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

You know, and we're kind of forced to go out there. And you know, society tells us, you know, January 1, go out and do all those fabulous things, you know, make all those goals and do go big, and you just want to go home and get under the covers. That's right. That's right. Which might be why, you know, for a lot of people, those New Year's resolutions don't work. Maybe the timing is just off. Um, so you said something very powerful and that you just you don't have to start at January 1st. There's a briefest term, start where you are.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:00

Start where you are. Um, and then do things do things incrementally, and then I go back to that idea of of grace. Um, so when you talk about this this transition um that you're amiss, what has what was the hardest part of letting go of this old version of yourself?

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Having been brought up with the concept of having to be right makes me anxious that I might do something wrong. And so there is some fear uh that uh coming up with my own model may not uh may not be right. And and that right is external approval. And uh I admit I I still like to be told I'm I'm doing a good job and and so forth, and but uh getting better at listening to myself and knowing instinctually um in my heart, in my body, listening to my body that what I'm doing is right for me. It's um it's it's like learning a new language, right? It's uh it's not about being responsive uh and responsible. My my parents wrote uh to my high school uh college guidance counselor that Janet was 99% and one quarter and one quarter percent responsible, like pure like ivory, like ivory soap. And I've held that responsibility of being responsible all my life, and that it was my job to take care of fill-in the blank and letting go the pressure uh and the habit of saying, Oh, I'll go, I'll take care, I'll plan that event, or I'll take care of the details, or I'll volunteer to do XYZ. Uh, I'll I'll be responsible. Uh that it that's part of this process as well. And one of the things that I've uh that I've been good at uh is about it's as small as like friendly follow-up, right? You send an email to someone on a Monday and you haven't heard from them, so you send them a fraud friendly follow-up on the Thursday, blah, blah, blah. I'm trying not to send the friendly follow-up and see what happens, right? Like, does the person take responsibility for their for their follow-up? If they're not taking responsibility for their half of the relationship, of the transaction, whatever it might be, what does that mean? Like, I don't take responsibility for their responsibility. And that's not to say one shouldn't send a friendly follow-up just to make life, you know, move forward, but um it it's it's a it's a discomfort that I'm getting used to in terms of not being responsible for everything and everybody.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

It's it's a discomfort with the the silence. Yes, that's silence, because then you're sitting there. I think it's for all things, um, that when you're uncomfortable with that silence, you start making assumptions as to why that person hasn't gotten back to you. Right. Um, you start building a narrative in your head, and then it makes you even more anxious.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:24

So, you know, part of the challenge is to just be comfortable with the quiet, comfortable with the silence, not you know, to try not to weave a narrative, just move forward.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

And no, it's not about me. Yes, it's it's not about me.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Um, so what has surprised you the most um in this uh this process that you're you're now in?

SPEAKER_01 35:52

I'm sleeping really well. That's great.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

That surprises you.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

Uh it surprises me because I'm not uh I'm not worrying at the same level. And so it's not that I'm worry-free, but having less to worry about um is is a blessing uh and is a great uh uh side effect, I guess. Um what surprised me? Uh I've discovered a spaciousness in my day that allows me to take time to stop and do things uh unexpectedly. For instance, I was used to having a day where I would have six to eight meetings a day and uh check on emails in between and then likely have an event in the evening. And now I may have one or one, sometimes none, um, but usually less than three Zooms or phone calls or meetings a day. And I've actually found the time to exercise. I've found the time to read the newspaper, I've found the time to read books, and it's delicious to be able to fill my time with things that uh fulfill me and are not fulfilling others' expectations. And it's been a surprise that I haven't been bored.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

Learning to just lean back and enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Yeah. I also think that uh sometimes boredom is useful because it's after boredom that ideas bounce up and creativity can uh emerge.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

So I'm gonna challenge you. Let's let's find a different word. Like let's go back to a word we used earlier. It's not boredom so much as silence. Yes, you know, a different version of silence, whereas you're not busy, you're not constantly doing um it's going back to that term, you know, looking at that phrase of the wintering. It's at that period of rest.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Where you're not constantly on all the time that things start to to kind of bubble up. I I use uh I I love to use the analogy of the the um snow globe. You know, when you shake it up, there's so many things happening and the moment you let it sit and rest, there's clarity. Because all those things have settled.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

Yes, you know, and embracing the concept of being a human being versus a human doing. That snow globe is a great, great metaphor.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

So you've talked a little bit about this, but um you know feel free to uh kind of expound on it. Um so what are the practices that are helping you to stay grounded and aligned in this time?

SPEAKER_01 39:41

I wish I could tell you I'm journaling. I'm not journaling. Although I think it may be a good practice for me to start. I find uh that my time going to the gym is or exercising at home helps me feel like I'm fulfilling that thing that I've uh never put enough time and effort into. It may only be 45 minutes, it may be an hour, maybe an hour and 15 minutes, but developing that as a practice is something that I have not been very good at uh in the past, and I feel like it is helping me stay on track because I feel so good after going to the gym or doing exercises or whatever it might be, and understanding that through a little hard work there's a positive return. So I think that that practice has been helpful. Uh I want to go spend time in nature, but it's too damn cold to do so. Uh, we got a foot and a half foot and a half of snow last week, and uh trudging around in the snow is not something that I'm excited to do, but it's something, but I want to, once it gets warmer, I want to go outside. Um the Japanese have this concept of forest bathing, and I'm super excited to do to do that. Um I'm spending time more with my pussy cats. And uh receiving love is a really amazing thing, and uh two of our our cats are very attentive and and want to uh want to snuggle and uh and that's a wonderful small little bit of time focused on my pet and making making them feel good, feeling how they feel good. I mean, it's it's these moments. It's these moments. I wish I had more to to share on this, uh to answer this question.

SPEAKER_00 42:15

No, what you said is is quite a bit actually. Um, and I'm familiar with forest uh bathing, and I think that's that's a meditative practice. Um hiking through the woods, walking through the woods. It's right, you're moving slowly. Yes, you know, you're concentrated on your breath, you are attuned to everything that's happening around you, you know, looking to the ground, you know, you might see some ants, you know, you know, smelling the air, yeah. Cedar, pine, whatever, you know. Yep. Um, when I go walking, I just I love the smell of of the earth itself. Yes. Walking through a forest is very different than oh, walking through the streets of Manhattan in so many ways. So many ways. Absolutely. And I'm familiar with that.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

And and connecting with our senses, I find that whenever I travel, my senses awaken and I see new things and I taste new things and I hear new things, and the breeze is different and the the streets are different, and uh just trying to be attentive to my humanness, if you will, of being a body, of having senses, of uh paying attention to those things. Uh again, I think as it gets warmer and spring approaches, I will be able to embrace more of those things, but it's certainly something that uh I've become increasingly attentive to.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

That's a beautiful thing. So how has creativity in that? I say I want to give that context of it can be creativity in any form. You can define what creativity means for you. But how has creativity helped you to navigate or make meaning of this season that you're in right now?

SPEAKER_01 44:17

So I spent a lot of time as a young person in the arts. Uh and visual, performing, singing, dancing, painting, writing. And for a long time, creativity for me meant some sort of artistic production. And when I went to work for Columbia Business School just before I turned 30, it was the first time that I actually understood that creativity existed in business and it existed in how you worked with numbers, how you solved problems, how you interacted with human beings. It was more about responding to the external world than expressing the internal world that the artists are uh known to uh express. I would say that my creativity during this time period is about redefining success. It's it remains cerebral uh at this moment. Uh it's about problem solving in different ways, uh, making decisions to say yes and no to things in different ways. I have a shelf full of drawing supplies, I have notebooks for writing. Um I uh I anticipate getting to perhaps a place where I prioritize creative expression internal, external. Um but I'm not there yet. And that's because it's the first of February and uh I am embracing this wintering concept and trying to be creative with that. Uh and and with the quiet, if you will.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

Uh I think um we can say that you're expressing your creativity and how you spend your time, right?

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Yes. I I will also say home design and home uh making my nest is also part of this process, as I'm currently in the process of merging two homes uh and I need to make space in the second home for things I want to keep from the first home. And uh shedding stuff, getting rid of uh clothes that no longer suit me. I actually hired an amazing woman to do my colors. And uh I had always thought I was a summer, but apparently I'm a bright spring. And she came to my house and we went through my closet pants, shirts, skirts, dresses, wraps, jewelry, bags, shoes, the whole shebang. And we got rid of maybe eight bags of clothes that just don't look right, aren't cut right, are the wrong color. And so I feel like that has been a creative exercise uh for me to go through. And what books do I have in my bookshelf? What am I going to read again? What is precious to me? What don't I need anymore? Uh my husband and I, we went through our kitchen and we had so many uh bowls, we didn't have space to put all the bowls. And it's like, how many bowls do you need? You need you need soup bowls, you need salad bowls, you need dessert bowls, you need mixing bowls, you need uh uh chip bowls, you need salad bowls. At some point, how many bowls do you need? Uh, and we ended up donating, I don't know, 15 boxes of things from our kitchen to Habitat for Humanity because we just didn't need all that stuff. And so I feel like we're making space also in our home. Uh over Thanksgiving, I fell down a uh rabbit hole on Facebook all about Chinese astrology and that uh 2025 through mid-February 26 is the year of the snake, and we're supposed to be shedding things, getting rid of things, getting uh letting stuff go from as simple as throwing out the pair of shoes that you will never wear again, those heels that you said, you know, one day and no, you will never wear again, to letting go expectations, letting go uh resentments, letting go past models that no longer serve you. And so then starting in mid-February with the lunar new year, we will transition into the year of the fire horse. And this is a uh ambitious, motivated, uh, manifesting um year of uh of dynamism. And so, you know, Kenya, if we have this had this conversation in April, I might be in a in a very different season and more in my fire horse space, you know, stay tuned. But for now, I'm in this shedding wintering space and um making space for what comes next.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

I love it. I love it. I uh you know, I'm a big believer in purging, you know. Um, because I think physically and energetically, you're making space for the things you really want to come in into your life. And I'll say, you know, one thing about you know, clothes, and because I've experienced this myself, um, sometimes the clothes we put on um don't reflect us. Yes, they reflect going back to what society thinks we should be wearing, or it's about armor, or it's about presenting ourselves in a certain way. Um so shedding clothes, I think also brings you a lot closer to your more authentic self, you know.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

And hiding yourself.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

So often uh I was told, you know, you just need to, you know, clothe the bod, cover yourself up, um, hide yourself, you know, make the best of what you've got and you know, hide it um as opposed to celebrate it. And so I now have a lot more springy colors, and um, and they make me happier. My skin looks better.

SPEAKER_00 52:03

I love it. I think your colors would be very uh frustrated with me because I'm a typical New Yorker. It's about 90% black.

SPEAKER_01 52:11

Well, that you know, it's it's so funny. We um because I'm a pear, uh I can still wear black um on my lower half. Uh, but uh the amount of black clothing I had in my New York apartment, um, I was I I realized that that was my New York uniform, but I didn't realize how much I had as my black uniform. And uh hey, listen, if it works for you, it works for you. But uh to try and bring in a little bit of color that brings color to your cheeks or brings out your eyes, uh I think it's great to bring in some highlights.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

I guess to your point, I think I'll just say that uh when the masses were black like that, I think it's to just blend in.

SPEAKER_01 53:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 53:11

It's to blend in, not to stand out. Um, and I don't remember where I read this, but there was uh, I think this writer that moved out to California trying to find their tribe or what have you, moved from New York to California and went into some coffee shop or something, and there was a group of people in a corner wearing all black, all New York transplants.

SPEAKER_01 53:36

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 53:38

They were immediately drawn to them. Um you know, it's it's um for these processes that we're in, you know, the clothes really do speak so much about where we are in our mindset. Um so I I love this process that you went through. I might need to get the name of your colorist from you. Yes, she has to say. I have no idea what season I would be in. Um so we're gonna close out with I guess maybe one or two more questions. Um so what would you say to the woman who is standing on the edge of her own becoming and is ready but is afraid to leap? What advice would you give that woman?

SPEAKER_01 54:21

This may sound more like poetry than reality, but I I would recommend connecting with the elements, right? Try to ground with the earth. Uh finding that quiet and silence, like you said, with the with the snow globe, is a great metaphor. Um think about what flow means. When are you in flow? There's a there's a book called Flow where you're just in this special space where time goes by. But like water, how do you where when and where do you flow? Uh in terms of air, take times to take deep breaths and breathe in the air and um and exhale. So often we hold our breaths. I know I hold my breaths. Uh uh, and uh that is not good for us, but try to try to exhale and and feel the breath. Um and then with fire, you know what lights you up, what what whether it's a passion, what what uh gets you excited. Uh I know that financially uh it is very challenging to say, I'm gonna take six months off, right? I know for many people that is not possible. Uh and that going from one job and saying, okay, I'm not gonna do another job for a little while, that can be really scary. Uh so uh so I know that I'm in a fortunate position at the moment that I'm able to say I'm launching my own business and at the same time taking this time for myself. Uh if one is on the precipice and uh having that financial security is a priority, it's looking at your time. Can you take a day for yourself? Can you take half a day for yourself? Can you take a night off for yourself that can become your time and space? Uh that uh you turn off the television, you turn off the radio, you you uh tell your family that you need your time and space, and and then sort of go through those elements of grounding, of breathing, of being in flow and focusing on what ignites you. And it takes a lot of time. Marketer Janet, always ready to post the next uh thing on LinkedIn and uh reach out to the next person and network. It took six weeks, I think, uh starting at the end of November for me to turn that uh that instinct off and be comfortable not networking whenever I had an occasion. I've had events and so forth where I've networked and I've happily, it's not like I'm I'm not uh I'm not living a hermit's life. But it took six weeks for me to get out of that habit of always putting myself out there. And um, and so this process takes time, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 58:28

I I think um you say you're not living a hermit's life. What you're doing is you're curating, you're intentionating how you're spending your time. Yes, yes, it's extremely important. So my last question for you is what does being creative and resilient mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 58:50

I think being creative and resilient in this phase is to have the courage to listen to oneself and to be patient with oneself and to imagine uh what that curated life uh could be like and to forgive oneself. Uh, I think forgiveness is something that is underrated in uh contemporary life. So forgive and forget, I think there that, oh you made a mistake, oh something went wrong. Forgive and let it go. So that's where I think the resilience comes in, is that you can actually let stuff go and not keep thinking about it. I think being creative and resilient is embracing the day with an open mind and open heart and following being attuned to the vibrations of the world. You know, who gives you energy, what gives you energy, what excites you, what depletes you doing laundry to me is a chore, but then I have all this clean laundry that's put away and that and that fulfills me. So, like, you know, like you still have to do laundry. But uh so being creative and resilient is uh really trying to to connect with that um extraordinary woman that's inside you, extraordinary person that's inside of you, and uh let them have a voice as opposed to being responsive to the external world and thinking about what other people what other people's needs and other people's uh expectations are.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:23

Thank you so much. This was a beautiful conversation. Um so tell the people where and how they can find you.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:31

Sure. So uh my name is Janet Rossback, and my email is Janet at affinityblueprint.com. You can also find me uh on my uh company's website, affinityblueprint.com, and you can also find me on LinkedIn. And thank you so much, Kenya. Uh this has uh been uh a very fulfilling conversation.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:58

It has, it has. Um I think you schooled me a little bit, and I'm gonna look up that book, wintering.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:04

Um and to be gentle with ourselves. What you say about grace. Grace, grace is everything. Grace is uh is a remarkable uh uh concept that um similar to forgiveness is not uh sufficiently present in our world. And the more grace that you have for one another and and for yourself, uh I think the happier our our world would be.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:42

Yes, true words could not be spoken. Thank you so much, Janet. This has been a pleasure conversation. Thank you for joining me for this episode of Creative and Resilient Voices. If this conversation resonated with you, share it with another one on the edge of her over the coming. And if you'd like to continue the journey, join us at Creative and Resilient, where we were flashed by the first time.