Journal Entry: Stepping Into Your Power..... Stop Playing Small

Journal Entry: Stepping Into Your Power .....Stop Playing Small

So many women learn to shrink themselves to feel accepted ... dimming their confidence, downplaying their ambition, and questioning their worth before they even begin.

This journal entry is about reclaiming your confidence, trusting your voice, and stepping fully into your power without apology.

Inside this reflection, we explore:
 🌿 Why people-pleasing and self-doubt keep us playing small
 🤍 How burnout, criticism, and rejection can disconnect us from our confidence
 ✨ Releasing the belief that your ambition, gifts, or visibility are “too much.”
 🕊️ Building the confidence to be seen, speak boldly, and trust yourself
 🌙 Choosing alignment over approval and authenticity over performance

This episode is for the woman who knows there is more inside of her ...more confidence, more purpose, more life waiting to be expressed.

Because confidence changes everything.

And the moment you stop playing small,
 your life begins to expand with you.

Thank you for spending this moment with me inside The Art of Becoming.
If this journal entry resonated with you, I invite you to pause, breathe, and carry one gentle intention with you into the rest of your day.

You can support the podcast by following, leaving a review, or sharing this entry with someone who may need it this season.

Until our next journal entry....
 move slowly, choose softly, and trust who you are becoming.

🤍 Maison d’Alchimie

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome to Maisondo Alchemy, a space where transformation meets intention and healing becomes a lifestyle. Here we slow down, we reflect, and we realign, blending wellness, mindfulness, and everyday living into something beautifully intentional. Each week we'll explore the alchemy of transformation from wellness and mental health to beauty, business, and intentional living. Together we'll uncover what it means to care for your mind, your body, and your spirit every single day. So take a deep breath. Let's begin your journey home to yourself. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Maison Dal Chemise, The Art of Becoming. And I am your host, Dr. Natasha Osei. So this journal entry is about stepping into your power and to just stop playing small. Um, I think at some point many of us learned that being smaller felt safer, safer to stay quiet, safer to second guess ourselves, safer to dim our confidence so we wouldn't intimidate, disappoint, or outgrow the people around us. So we learn to shrink, to hesitate before speaking, to the response of confidence of a woman. It's completely like day and night, right? As a man, if you don't have confidence, it comes off as you lack self-esteem. And as a woman, when you don't have confidence, you look insecure. But when you do have confidence, people tend to kind of paint you in an image that you're you're not even, you know, they they see you as someone you're not. I mean, for most people, some people, some people use confidence as a defense mechanism, so yes, some people, right? Um, but in this journal entry, it's all about reclaiming your confidence and stepping fully into your power, um, being unapologetically intentional with it, and also without waiting for permission to step into your power. And we're not talking about the performative confidence, not the loud confidence either. No, no, not the loud confidence built on ego or validation, but more like a grounded confidence, the kind that comes from self-trust, from knowing who you are, from no longer abandoning yourself, just to stay accepted, because baby, who wants to be accepted anyways? I am learning that the 21 the 21 year old Natasha was the best form of Natasha, and I say this because not because I was naive, but because I was very sure of myself, and as the years went by, people's opinion of me kind of changed how I carried myself, and although I wasn't doing it to be accepted, but at the end of the day, it was done because I wanted to be accepted subconsciously, right? Um, and we often don't realize, oh my god, pardon me, because as I speak about confidence, the guys decide to start cutting the grass. What can be more pleasant than the sound of grass cutter at this time? And it's like literally 7 a.m. I'm not understanding this, but anyways, I digress. So, yes, so the 21-year-old Natasha was very confident, and and over the years, people's complaints and you know just trying to shape myself to fit this mold that I was never I was never meant to be in, kind of just changed who I who I am and how I carried myself. And I'm learning that in order to step in my power, I have to understand where my confidence is and where it roots from, and I need to step into my power with confidence. Um I know it's not just me, so many women learn early that confidence makes other people uncomfortable, right? And that's where that's when I started dimming my light, and um, so many women learn that early confidence can make other people uncomfortable. Um, we're kind of taught directly or indirectly to soften our opinion, minimize our needs, downplay our intelligence, and make ourselves easier to digest. We learn that being agreeable is often a reward, and it's often we learn that being agreeable is often rewarded more than being powerful, so we adapt. People pleasing becomes a form of protection, self-doubt becomes a habit, and over time we begin to disconnect from our authentic voice in exchange for acceptance. We eventually start to question ourselves before speaking, and I do that, like it's it's so horrible because it's kind of like you can't speak freely, and you kind of have to like edit yourself and apologize and before taking up space, and that's me all the time now. Um, seeking permission before trusting our instincts, and the problem is every time you silence yourself to stay accepted, you slowly abandon your full potential because confidence cannot grow where authenticity is constantly suppressed. There's a version of you that exists beyond approval, and reconnecting with her is part of your becoming. Playing small is really laziness or lack of ambition, it's often self-protection. After criticism, rejection, disappointment, burnout, or even constantly feeling unsupportive, shrinking can begin to feel safe than being fully seen. You stop taking risks because failure felt painful before. You stopped speaking boldly because your voice was dismissed. You stopped dreaming expansively because survival became more important than possibilities. And over time, playing small becomes automatic. And at this point, I think I'm on autopilot. Not because you lack greatness, but because your nervous system learned caution. And this, my friends, is why healing confidence requires more than motivation. It requires safety, safety to be visible, safety to try again, safety to trust yourself without fear of collapse if things don't go perfectly. And the truth is you cannot fully step into your purpose while constantly minimizing yourself to avoid discomfort. Many women are taught that being too ambitious, too confident, too expressive, or too visible would make them difficult to love or accept. So as women, instead of expanding, we begin to edit ourselves. We hide our gifts, we downplay our ideas, we hold back our leadership, wait for permission to fully step into who we already are, but your purpose was never meant to fit inside someone else's comfort zone. Let me say that again for the people in the back. Your purpose was never meant to fit inside someone else's comfort zone. You, your purpose, me, my purpose, and everyone else's. And choosing growth, anyways, because greatness requires visibility, success requires self-belief, and neither can fully exist while you're still trying to make yourself smaller. So I say all this to say confidence is not waiting until fear disappears, it's learning to move even while fear is present. Building confidence means allowing yourself to be visible before you fully feel ready, speaking before you stop shaking, creating before you feel it's perfect, leading before you feel certain. So many people wait for confidence to magically right. I know this is like an alchemy podcast and everything, but it's not that kind of magic. So many people wait for confidence to magically arrive before taking action. But confidence is built through action. I mean, what are we really talking about here? Every time you speak honestly, you trust your instincts, you take a risk, or you show up authentically, you strengthen your relationship with yourself, and slowly over time, you stop shrinking. You stop axing. Will they approve of me? And you start axing. Am I proud of how I'm showing up for myself? This kind of shift changes everything. Stepping into your power is not becoming louder, harder, or more performative. It's becoming more honest, more aligned, more willing to trust yourself. It means choosing alignment over approval, expansion over fear, and it means choosing authenticity over performance. It means no longer building your life around being accepted by everyone else while feeling disconnected from the one person that's important, yourself. True power is being able to stand fully in who you are without constantly editing yourself to fit spaces. You've already outgrown. Remember, we spoke about that on the last podcast. It's trusting your vision even before it's validated, it's honoring your ambition without guilt, it's allowing yourself to evolve without apology. Because the most powerful version of yourself is not the version performing for acceptance, it's the version finally free enough to be seen. So this journal entry is for the women who are tired of doubting themselves before they even start. Now, let me speak directly to you. Cause you are me and I am you, and this is our journal. This journal entry is for the woman who is tired of doubting herself before she even starts. The woman who knows she's capable of more, but has spent too long minimizing herself to fit inside spaces. She's already outgrown. Because confidence changes the way you move through life, it changes the way you speak, the way you lead, the way you show up for your goals, the way you recover from setback, the way you trust yourself when no one else is fully understanding your vision yet. Confidence is what allows you to walk into rooms without needing to prove your worth, it allows you to pursue opportunities without talking yourself out of them first. And let me put a pause right here because you have no idea about how I'm okay. For those who have never seen me, which is not too many, because this is a new podcast, it's probably my friends cheering me on listening to this. But um, for those who don't know me, I am chocolate, right? I am chocolate dipped in gold. And I don't wear clothes that are I wear questionable stuff. I wear things that make me happy. I wear how I feel. And it doesn't take much for me to be noticed from what I put on and um and my appearance, right? And so I started wearing like black clothes. I started not putting overly attractive jewelry on. I s and and it's and still crazy because it it was like, oh, let me not be seen, let me just go sit somewhere. I've even made a comment to my uh friends at the hospital multiple times, like, oh my god, did he just call my name? This is like director or something. How does he even know me? Let me go into my hiding space, like girl, what is you talking about? You need to be seen. You were not meant to dim your light. I've gone to uh so yeah, I have multiple businesses, right? I have a wellness clinic and I have an agency, and I work one or two days because I like to keep my toes dipped in the waters, and also because um I feel like you learn a lot when you're within the hospital system or healthcare system, and also you know, little things, little perks that I I haven't really fully grown my business to allow myself to provide it to provide it to myself, right? So perks like PTO and health care benefits and stuff like that, right? So I do work once two days in the hospital, and I can't even tell you how many times that I have dimmed myself so I'm not seen as a way to protect my job because working all these years as a nurse, someone has always found an issue to complain about me, whether it's a physician, whether it's a nursing manager who has literally never said anything to me, literally just walked on the unit, saw me, and asked why I had a sweater on, why I had this, why I look like that, why I'm doing this, not doing anything out of the norm or looking out of dress code, but yeah, I've always had people complain about me. I've had preceptors complain about me, and mind you, I've never lost a job for not having the knowledge, right? Okay, and I've never not made it through orientation because I lack knowledge, right? But they've created an image about everything I've done. So over the years I have truly learned how to dim myself and other uh other personal spaces that I won't mention. I need a psychotherapist for this kind of issues, but like other personal spaces where I've been told why you do that, and what are you doing this for? And why do you look like that? Or why do you do this? Or why do you change your hair? Why do you have micro locks now? Why you you can't make this crap up, and at this point of my 40s something some idea life, I have come to the conclusion that I would rather risk it and lose it all than to fit in someone's mold. And I am stepping in my power. Whether anyone likes it or doesn't like it, I am displaying myself with confidence because at the end of the day, I'm the only one that deals with the consequences, whether it's good or bad, whether it's dimming my life or my light, or it's uh displaying my confidence, I'm the only one that has to deal with the consequences. And I don't know why it took me to lose it from my 20s, to hit my 40s, to fully understand this. So I need you guys all to sign an agreement with me that when this podcast drops and you listen to it, all five of y'all, you will stop them in your light, and you will step into your confidence. You carry yourself like the big boss you have before, whether whether you have money, you don't have money, whether you have a home, you don't have a home, whether you're building your life, restarting your life, whether your life is flourishing, it doesn't matter what stage you are in in order to display your confidence. Because we are we we the people we are a big pie, right? So, like let's look at it as like a pizza pie and slices, and each slice forms who we are, right? There's like um your wellness, there's a social aspect, there's um how much loving you have, there's your children, your family, there's there's so much that forms you as a whole pie, and even if one is missing, we have the right to still carry the rest of the pies until that piece that's missing comes back into place, and I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but your flaws, your lacks, your not having your um Not accomplishing, right? Oh, I don't have a college degree. Who cares? Does that make you less then? It does not. So that education portion that you feel like is missing in that pie, educate yourself in another form. But as you learn how to educate yourself, carry the rest of the pies, right? Add some pepperoni. If you're vegan, add some vegetables. I mean, add some other things on the other side of the pie to overcompensate until that education portion slides back in. Because, baby, it doesn't take one thing to make you who you are, it takes a collection of things. And and if you ask me quite frankly, so many things are not necessary, but we have it in our mind that it's necessary for us to be complete. But as you've worked through those mental issues, carry yourself with confidence. Carry yourself like the big boss you are, and stop playing yourself small. Okay? Stop axing, am I enough? And start axing. What becomes possible when I when I fully believe in myself? What what are the possibilities? You were never meant to spend your life hiding your brilliance, silencing your voice, or shrinking your confidence to make other people comfortable. Your power is not something outside of you, it's something that's been waiting for you to stop doubting yourself long enough to finally claim it. So as we come to an end, I just want you to know that nobody's gonna give you the confidence you need. And if anything, people will steal the confidence from you. And the moment you stop playing small with confidence, once again your life will expand with you. Until the next time, my loves. Talk to you soon.